The Cannabean Betrothal
by ItzMegan73
Summary: Edward has immersed himself in the Cannabean way to ward off the hurt of a life-changing experience; but an unexpected betrothal teaches him how little he knows about life. There is no abuse in this story.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

**_Cannabean. _**_A clannish society, often compared to Amish or Mennonite communities. Although more accepting of modern conveniences such as electricity, technology and the like, Cannabeans do not subscribe to the mainstream ideals that plague modern marriage, nor do they believe in the dissolution of marriage. Their daily living is centered on their faith, family and a firm foundation in the Cannabean Way._

_

* * *

_

Spring was Carlisle Cullen's favorite time of the year. The trees were in bloom, the animals were alert and all around him the essence of life made its presence known. More importantly, it was the time of the annual Cullen family picnic. Each year at the dawning of spring, the Cullen men would bring their families to the meadow that was the apex of the family property. Carlisle never tired of seeing his nieces, nephews and grandchildren as they laughed and played and enjoyed one another's company.

However, this year, it was with a heavy heart that Carlisle looked out at the grassy knoll, upon his offspring, his three sons. Division had settled upon the Cullen clan, so palpable that it had a flavor all its own. Brothers, once tighter than a stranded cord, now stood on opposite ends of the meadow. Emmett, the elder brother, had grown weary of trying to be neutral and had settled for interacting with only his wife and children. Jasper, the middle child, and his new bride, Alice, dealt with a divergence of emotions: his defiance and hers, guilt.

But perhaps Carlisle's greatest source of sadness was his youngest son, Edward. Even from a distance, he could feel Edward's despair as it rolled off of him.

"Carlisle, maybe you should try talking to him," Carlisle's wife, Esme, said quietly as she came alongside him.

Carlisle shook his head. "At this point, all I'd be doing is reminding him of his hurt. He knows we're here for him. If he wants to talk about it anymore, he'll come to us."

Esme sighed aloud. "Of course. You're right."

However, there was no victory in Carlisle being right about the fact that his son had suffered an emotional blow that was too painful to ponder. It was something that Carlisle wouldn't wish upon his worst enemy.

"I just worry about him so much. He's going to be twenty-one in a few weeks and he hasn't expressed any interest in being introduced to anyone." Esme continued.

"I know. The emotional…and physical…companionship that's lacking in his life…it's got to be wearing on him." Carlisle agreed.

"I just wish there was something we could do to make things easier on him." Esme stated softly.

And in that moment, Carlisle knew exactly what she was hinting at: the family picnics. Aside from his much younger cousins, Edward was the only single male that was of age to marry. All around him he was bombarded with the evidence of physical love: children, swollen bellies, modest kisses, embraces…

"The picnics…" Carlisle whispered. It was his favorite event of the year, but it was hardly a sacrifice for his dear son.

"Of course he'll feign disappointment when you tell him that you're going to cancel it," Esme said in foresight.

"My next sabbatical from the hospital will be in February. It'll be snowy and cold. Hardly the weather for a Cullen excursion."

Esme smiled at her husband's ingenious plan before looking back over at Edward. He had shifted his position to lean against the grand oak tree in the back of the yard. He wore a small smile as he watched his nieces and nephews play tag in the dormant winter garden. He looked content. But his parents knew him well. He was anything but.

There wouldn't be a Cullen family spring picnic for another four years.


	2. Chapter 1 Family

**Family. **_The element of family is essential to the Cannabean community. They are a clannish __society and it is uncommon for the families of sons and unmarried daughters to stray far from the patriarch. The family patriarch makes all decisions for his children until sons are of the age to marry and until daughters have been given in marriage, regardless of age._

* * *

Charlie Swan looked down at the russet-colored newsletter he held in his hand. The Cannabean Chronicle had shrunk over the years, to nearly half its original size.

"Genson and Wilma's boy had their fourth," Charlie stated to his wife of nearly twenty-five years, Renee Swan.

"Boy or girl?" Renee asked as she refilled the coffee cup to the left of her husband's plate.

"Boy. Nine pounds." Charlie answered.

Renee read over his shoulder, purposely ignoring the obituary column. The Cannabean culture was dwindling in their small town of Billings, Montana. She didn't want to see evidence of it getting any smaller.

"Is there anything there about the church closing?" Renee asked quietly. She knew it was a sore subject with her husband, but they had yet to discuss what its implications were for their family.

The church was an integral part of the Cannabean society, its foundation and roots. Without it, people began to interpret laws and ordinances to best suit their own needs, resulting in a watered down version of what they were meant to be.

"We can't stay." Charlie finally said, looking his wife in the eye.

Renee looked down at the table with sad eyes. Billings, Montana was the only home she'd ever known. Her grandparents and parents, God rest their souls, had made a living as owners of the town's general store. And though Charlie and Renee struggled to compete with the likes of Wal-mart and Target, they'd been able to manage just fine once they'd taken the small store over nearly ten years ago.

But Charlie was right. They couldn't ignore the fact that the Cannabean way was becoming extinct. It had been occurring for some years now, but they could no longer ignore it; not when they had a daughter that was now of marrying age. Charlie and Renee could not overlook the fact that there was no one they found suitable for their daughter, Isabella.

And now there wasn't even a church.

"Sam McCutchin said there was a small dwelling of Cannabean's in Forks, Washington; a couple of families. There's no Cannabean Center, but there is a church that aligns with the doctrine. There are about twenty-five or so Cannabeans that fellowship there. It's better than what we have here."

"What about work?" Renee asked.

"That's my concern, not yours." Charlie told her, not sternly, but firmly.

Renee quietly nodded before looking out the kitchen window at her daughter.

Isabella, or Bella as they'd nicknamed her, was sitting on a petrified log with one of the local homeschool families. As an Education Specialist, it was her job to make sure the families that utilized state funding for education were adhering to the mandated curriculum. She often met with them once a month to go over their lesson plans, test scores and answer any questions. All of her findings were then typed up into report form that she accumulated for student cumulative files.

When Bella and her father had discussed the idea of college, he'd given her only two career options: teacher or nurse. To her friends, this seemed like the most barbaric and ancient concept imaginable, but not to Bella. She had grown up aspiring to be a wife and a mother, and according to her father, while she was waiting for the most suitable man to do that with, a profession as a teacher or nurse would only enhance that lifelong calling.

Now, a recent college graduate, Bella loved her job and often spoke highly of it to her parents. For this reason, Renee knew her daughter would be sad to leave it, but she also knew it wasn't her place to argue with her husband.

"When will you tell Bella?" Renee asked, her eyes still staring out the window.

Charlie shook his head as he swallowed a sip of his coffee. "Not until I know what my plan is. Until then, let's just keep this between us."

Months passed and Charlie made no mention of Forks or moving in general. In fact, work had even picked up and a young Cannabean family had moved into the area. Renee was hopeful for the first time in years that there would be a revival of their culture in the city of Billings. She was sure her husband saw the positive changes as well, so she was floored at his after dinner announcement that came one January evening.

"We're moving," he simply stated. "Sam McCutchin was able to set me up with a job as a rural mail carrier, since I've done it before. It doesn't pay much, but from what we get from the sale of the store, it should tide us over until I find something else."

Renee Swan grew pale right before her husband's eyes. "You're…selling the store?" she asked softly.

Charlie reached across the table and took his wife's hand. "Hon, we talked about this. We can't stay here. Our way of life is diminishing right in front of our eyes," Charlie softened his voice as he spoke.

Renee simply nodded, her eyes focused on the tablecloth. "I thought…things had gotten better…" she trailed off.

Charlie sat up straight and shook his head. "Temporary. We saw an increase in business because the Target out on 87 shut down for renovations. As soon as that's up and running again, business will fall off again. And they put those stores up overnight almost, so it won't be long before we're barely making it again. Besides, it's great to put it up for sale now, while business is good. It'll be much easier to secure financing."

Renee nodded. "You're right."

"Renee, I told you not to worry. Alright? I've always taken care of you. I'm not going to stop now."

"Of course," Renee offered her husband a shallow smile before looking over at their daughter.

Up until this point, Bella had been extremely quiet, and when her mother examined her expression closely, it appeared as though Bella was in favor of the idea. She certainly didn't look upset.

"Should I put in for a job transfer?" Bella asked her father. "They have a homeschooling association there."

Charlie nodded. "But we're leaving as soon as the store sells, whether you have a job or not."

Six weeks later, the store had sold. No one was more shocked than Renee Swan, as the economy was not good in the area and competition was fierce. Charlie, however, was convinced that the quick sale was a sign that the decision to move to Forks was the right one.

And so, four weeks later, the Swan family arrived in Forks, Washington.


	3. Chapter 2 Broken Betrothal

_**A Broken Betrothal. **__A offense much more serious than a broken engagement, a broken betrothal is the public breaking of a moral contract – an assurance of matrimony. The family of the departing party can be legally held responsible for all costs associated with the abandoned wedding as well as shunned from the community._

* * *

Edward Cullen sat behind the desk of his small office and looked over the commodities exchange that was open on the Internet before him. The import-export business was booming and Edward's business was growing faster than he'd expected.

Just out of habit, Edward looked up the statistics for the grape industry, just to see if he saw any negative trends, for his family's sake. He was happy that he didn't.

The Cullen family was known throughout the Pacific Northwest for its small family owned and operated vineyard. Edward's mother, Esme had inherited the vineyard from her parents when Edward and his brothers were young. They had always gone to their grandparents' home and helped cultivate grapes and make preserves with their grandmother. So when it came time to take over, there was more than enough know-how in the family to provide the labor force.

Even though Carlisle already had a solid medical practice, he supported his wife and sons in their endeavor in agriculture. However, because Carlisle, himself had separate ambitions, he didn't deny Edward when Edward requested to set out on his own and start up his own venture.

Initially, it was never Edward's intention to branch out from his family. He'd studied business at the University of Washington with the expectation of handling the business side of the vineyard: marketing, accounting, human resources, etc. After he graduated, Edward had been ready to start the next phase of his life, settling down and starting a family. But before he could do that, he needed a place to have a family dwell. He'd hired a contractor, with the help of his family, and was set to begin building his home in what the family jokingly called 'Cullen Estates'.

Each male of the Cullen clan owned a two-acre parcel of land that surrounded the vineyard. Jasper's home was there, as was Emmett's. Edward had been happily looking forward to aligning his address with his brothers' by placing his home on a nearby plot.

But things had taken a turn in an unexpected direction and Edward's life was flipped upside down. The only remedy for the blow he'd experienced was time and space. The building project was abandoned, and an unfinished foundation lay as a symbol of its broken owner. Edward had withdrawn into himself, and though he remained living in is father's house, where his body was present, his heart was not.

It had been three years. Three years ago Edward had thrown himself whole-heartedly into the Cannabean lifestyle. Though he had been raised in the theology of his parents, it had never truly been his own belief. As teenagers, he and his brothers took great pride in breaking all of the rules and considered it a victory when they could make their many admirers blush at their lewd jokes and innuendos.

But it had been thirty-six months…one hundred fifty-six weeks since Edward had thrown himself into the Cannabean way.

During one of the darkest periods of his life, Edward had happened upon a book in his father's library by a man named Amos Bradley. Amos was a Cannabean elder that feared the watering down of his faith's foundation. Therefore he took it upon himself to pen what was now known at the Handbook of the Cannabean Society.

Edward sat riveted to a chair in his father's study, feverishly reading doctrine and beliefs that brought him comfort and peace. For the first time in his life, he understood, not just what his parents had been telling him for years, but why they had been saying such things. Strict adherence to the Cannabean lifestyle would have prevented the ache and void in his soul that he was feeling. It would not have allowed the massive injustice done to him.

No, it was a loose interpretation and flippant disregard for the rules that caused such wrongs to run rampant in what should have been a peaceful, loving and humble society.

And so from that day, one thousand ninety five days ago, until the present, Edward had adhered so strictly to the Cannabean lifestyle that oftentimes he found himself in disagreement with his friends and family.

"Edward, you don't have to take things so literally," his father, Carlisle, would often say.

And in response, Edward would always counter, "If I wasn't meant to interpret it that way, it wouldn't be written that way."

Back and forth, they would go until one of them, rarely Edward, would acquiesce and let the other have his way.

So unrelenting was Edward, that in time, friends he'd had since childhood stopped coming around. Women stopped pursuing him, and the only family members that bothered to strike up conversation were his parents and his nieces and nephews, who's age kept them from knowing any better. So estranged was he, that at the family dinners after church, Edward rarely spoke of anything outside of business and he strongly discouraged any forays into his personal life.

Over time, people just got used to him being a silent, brooding fixture at church and occasional functions within the community.

One Sunday after church, Edward walked into the kitchen to find his mother making chicken and dumplings, his favorite meal.

"That smells great, Mom," he smiled as he walked over to the pot to garner visual evidence of the enticing smells.

"Here," she offered him a bowl so that he could help himself to the contents of the pot. "There's plenty."

At her words, Edward glanced at the pot again and noticed the vastness of its size. His mother didn't usually cook in such mass quantities, unless…

"Is someone coming over?" Edward asked.

Before she could answer, a female voice rang through the entryway, followed by the booming voice of Edward's oldest brother, Emmett.

"The family is coming for lunch," Esme answered, eyeing Edward warily.

Edward sat his bowl down on the counter with a firm clatter. "I think I'll just go upstairs and get some work done."

"Edward," his mother touched her hand to his arm softly. "Honey, it's…please. It's my birthday and I just want to sit down and have lunch with my family."

Even a man with a stone heart couldn't deny his mother a wish on her birthday.

Edward picked up his bowl once again and took it with him to his place at the table, but not before giving his mother a look that communicated how big of an effort he was putting forth for her sake.

Emmett, his wife Rosalie and their children, entered the dining room. Their entrance had been so loud that no one was aware that Jasper and his wife Alice were also with them.

Without so much as a glance it their direction, Edward sat down and turned his attention to his two nieces and one nephew. He couldn't believe how fast time was passing. It seemed like just yesterday Emmett was speaking of his initial interest in Rosalie – and now, six years later, they had three children and were most likely headed towards their fourth.

"Can I sit by you?"

Edward looked over to see his oldest niece, Emma, staring at him expectantly as she pulled on the large mission-style chair. He simply smiled and helped her with the chair in answer to her question.

"It's almost my birthday," Emma reminded him.

"Nuh-uh," Elijah, the only boy and middle child, spoke up. "Daddy said it was going to be your half-birthday. You don't get presents on your half-birthday."

The two children began to bicker back and forth and Edward's eyes bounced back and forth between them as they spoke. In the past, a headache would have been the immediate result from such an interaction, but lately, whenever Edward had the opportunity to witness his brother's prized possessions, he found himself intrigued, invested…wistful in his thoughts of having his own children some day.

As the thoughts came to the forefront of his mind yet again, Edward suppressed them and turned his attention, instead, to the eddies of steam that rose from his lunch. Though he had been successful in quenching the desire for a mate for the past three years, his needs had now intensified, and the images in his mind were persistent against his resistance.

The sins of his youth plagued his conscious and unconscious mind. Mental pictures of the various girls who had willingly performed acts of physical gratification upon him and his brothers during their rebellious teen years flickered mercilessly through his head. It was as if he was experiencing sexual awareness for the first time, only this time it was multiplied by the number of years he had been denied sexual activity – as if his body knew that he should be married by now and partaking regularly.

For the first time in three years, Edward acquiesced to the silent mantra in his mind: he was ready. He was ready to get married. The acceptance both thrilled and terrified him. The thought of no longer being an outlier in his family, of experiencing the joy that they all knew…that he had once been within an arm's length of grasping, was exciting to Edward. But the notion of not ever finding the right "one"…a woman who appealed to him, wanted him and above all else, shared his beliefs, was terrifying. Because without the latter, Edward would not even consider any other attributes. A strong Cannabean woman would not break his heart or betray him. That was an experience he was not willing to subject himself to…again.

"I saw Brady at the hospital the other day. He said his brother told him that a Cannabean family is moving to the area. They're a small family though. They only have one child, a daughter," Carlisle said.

"A young family?" Rosalie asked. She fantasized about having a huge community of Cannabean mothers for support and to glean knowledge from.

"I don't really know," Carlisle admitted. "But they will be going to our church."

Emma giggled along with her younger sister, Abigail. "Maybe we'll get a new friend," the two girls whispered to each other loudly.

"Maybe," Emmett said as he reached out and tickled Abigail, the only one near enough for him to do so. "But she might be a lot older than you."

Edward didn't even have to look up to know that at least half of his family had glanced his way as Emmett spoke. No one ever said anything, but he knew they were wondering if he would open himself up to love ever again. The answer had previously been a firm no. But now, it was wavering between a maybe and a solid yes…with conditions.


	4. Chapter 3 The Cannabean Center

**The Cannabean Center. **_A house of worship for the Cannabean society. Religious beliefs and faith are at the center of the Cannabean lifestyle. In areas where there is a low population of Cannabeans, many choose to attend worship services at churches where the doctrine is closely aligned, although not always the same, as their own. _

* * *

Bella Swan had lived her entire life in one location, until now. Moving to Forks, Washington proved to be more life changing than she'd previously anticipated. Not only had boxes surrounded her for the past three weeks, but also the house that her family had chosen in Forks was much smaller than the one they'd had in Montana. It was hard to sort things out without making the home look cluttered and messy.

Bella knew money was an issue now that her parents no longer owned their own store, and her father's salary as a rural mail carrier had ended up being considerably less than what Sam McCutchin had quoted. The credential program required Bella to take two courses before they would allow her to be a certified teacher in Washington, but the program wasn't accepting new students for six months. Even still, whenever she offered to get a job to help out, her father would instruct her that it was not her responsibility to help with the day-to-day expenses of supporting a family.

"That's my job," he would quickly tell her.

Thankfully her parents were very conservative with money and Bella knew the proceeds from the sell of the store would be more than sufficient until her father found a more lucrative position. But until then, she would assist in paring down their monthly expenses by shopping the sales at the grocery store and practicing the many meal stretching tactics her mother had shown her through the years.

Of the many things that Bella had to get used to in Forks, the church was definitely one of them. The church the Swan family had attended in Montana had been so small that there wasn't a chance of anyone not recognizing a new face. But in Forks, the church was large enough that Bella and her family seemingly went undetected for the three weeks they'd been in attendance there. And if anyone had noticed them, no one had introduced themselves. This was another difference. It wasn't that the people of Forks were unfriendly; they just weren't as friendly as the people in Billings, Montana.

On her fourth Sunday at Forks Bible Church, Bella was standing at the information counter, waiting for her parents to finish talking to an elderly couple, when a young, portly woman approached her.

"Excuse me. Did you need some help?" she asked.

Bella had been looking over the list of ministries so intently that the woman slightly startled her.

"Oh, um…I was just seeing what services were held here," Bella answered quietly.

The woman smiled. "I didn't mean to scare you." She stuck out her hand and introduced herself. "I'm Melinda. I'm supposed to man this counter, but people so rarely stop by here…we don't get many new families in the area."

"Oh…really?" Bella asked. That wasn't good news. That meant the town wasn't growing. A town stagnant in growth was almost sure to be a low source of employment prospects. Would her father ever be able to find a better paying job here?

Bella looked over at her father fleetingly and noticed that he and her mother were not speaking to a different couple: a very distinguished looking blonde man and his equally illustrious, auburn-haired wife.

While Bella was making the observation, Melinda continued to go on about how many generations each family had been in the area.

_What have we gotten ourselves into?_ Bella thought of the dead-end town. So deep into her thoughts was she that Melinda had to repeat a question twice before Bella realized she was addressing her.

"I'm sorry, what?" Bella asked.

"I said that the church is actually looking for people to volunteer in the nursery for the worship services on Sunday morning. Are you interested?" Melinda asked.

"Oh…um…well aren't I too new?" Bella asked. "I mean, you don't really know me."

Before Bella could finish her sentence, Melinda had whipped out a form and was pushing it towards her on the counter.

"Just fill out this application. We screen based upon the information here, but I'm sure you'll be fine," Melinda spoke rapidly.

At that moment, a young woman walked by and Melinda reached out and grabbed her by the elbow.

"Hey, Alice. I was just telling…" Melinda realized that she hadn't gotten a complete introduction, "I'm sorry…"

Bella rushed to state her name, "Bella."

"I was just telling Bella that we need someone else to work in the nursery on Sundays. You'd love some help, wouldn't you?"

Alice, who looked barely old enough to obtain a driver's license, smiled softly at Bella and nodded.

"We're really short-handed," she reiterated quietly.

Bella felt backed into a corner. She hated feeling that way.

"What does a nursery worker do, exactly?" she asked.

"Just hold the babies. Some of them are old enough to sit on a blanket on the floor and play with a few toys. We don't have a lot of babies but we have too many for one person…which is Alice," Melinda tossed an apologetic glance in Alice's direction.

Bella looked down at the application, a little surprised that they'd let someone so new and unknown work with the precious commodity of children.

"Well…I have to ask my dad-" Bella began.

"Ask your dad? How old _are_ you?" Melinda balked.

Melinda's reaction immediately reminded Bella that she was not strictly surrounded by like-minded individuals. Even though they fellowshipped at the Forks Bible Church, many parishioners did not subscribe to the Cannabean lifestyle. An adult female, regardless of the fact that she was unmarried and still lived in her father's house, was not expected to ask permission of her parents for decisions that didn't directly involve them.

"My family and I come to church together. I don't have my own car," Bella explained. Though it wasn't a lie, it was only part of the reason why she had to ask her father's permission to enter into such a commitment.

"Makes sense," Melinda nodded. "Well…just fill out that application and turn it into the church office whenever you're ready." As soon as she'd finished her sentence, Melinda disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.

Bella's eyes returned to the daunting application. Though she loved children, she didn't think she was ready to take on a new responsibility in a church she didn't yet feel at home in.

She was folding up the application to stick in her purse when she noticed that Alice was still standing there, watching her intently.

"Sorry about that," Alice waved in Melinda's direction. "I'm sorry if she made you feel obligated to help."

"No, it's not that," Bella disagreed, but she didn't offer another explanation.

Alice stepped closer to Bella and lowered her eyes and voice. "Are you Cannabean?" she asked.

Bella's head turned toward her quickly. She took in the modest appearance of Alice's attire, the small amount of makeup that accentuated her natural beauty and the scrollwork of the Cannabean commitment ring that sat behind a large diamond solitaire on the ring finger of her left hand.

Alice was Cannabean, too.

"I am," Bella nodded.

Alice's face was immediately lit up into a beautiful smile. "Oh my goodness! You're the new family! We were wondering when you were going to arrive. Is this your first week?"

"Fourth, actually," Bella informed her. "So…you live in Forks?"

"Just outside of it, actually, in Bogachiel. It's not far," Alice added.

In Billings, the closest female Cannabean in age to Bella was fifteen years older than she was. Bella had grown used to not having close female companions that truly understood the world she lived in.

So the prospect of having something different in Washington suddenly made the paltry little town of Forks seem like the nicest place on earth.

Suddenly Alice and Bella, ironically still located at the information counter, swapped information back and forth until Bella's parents came and stood quietly beside her, signaling that it was time to go.

On the car ride home, the Swan family was excited about the other Cannabeans they'd just met. Bella shared what she had learned of Alice as her parents told her about Alice's in-laws, Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

"They host a Cannabean service at their home every Sunday evening. They said there are about twenty people who attend…though roughly half of that is made up of their family," Charlie informed Bella. "They've invited us to attend tonight."

Bella watched her father as he spoke. She hadn't seen him look so excited in a long time. She was sure he wrestled daily with the hardships his choices had made for his family.

Unlike his wife, Charlie Swan wasn't born into the Cannabean faith. He'd happened upon it in his youth, intrigued by the strong family ties and security. Growing up in a broken home, it was always something Charlie had craved. So when he'd met Renee, he'd thrown himself wholeheartedly into the notion of being a devoted husband and father, in addition to a strong provider. It was their plan to fill their home with children, but during Renee's first pregnancy, she'd become so ill, and had come close to death giving birth; after Bella's arrival, there were no more children for the Swans.

It took years for Charlie to stop mourning a legacy that would never be, but it didn't stop him from pouring into his only daughter. Charlie felt it was his life's work to teach her and prepare her for life as a Cannabean until he turned her over to her future husband – and it couldn't be just anybody. Bella was special, and although Charlie knew all fathers felt that their daughters were special, he was also able to see her as he knew other men would. She was attractive, but her demeanor and personality made her beautiful.

Charlie had seen this as one of the few downsides to going to a church that wasn't exclusively Cannabean. After the church service, as he had struck up a conversation with Carlisle Cullen, Charlie had noticed a few non-Cannabean men allow their gaze to linger on Bella longer than an inquisitive glance would require. The fear of a secular man capturing Bella's heart was only secondary to the fear of Bella willingly giving her heart to one outside of her faith.

"Dad?"

Bella's voice caused her father's eyes to veer momentarily from the road as they met hers through the rearview mirror.

"Yeah?" he returned.

"At church today, I was asked if I'd be interested in working in the childcare nursery during the worship service…" Bella trailed off.

Renee looked over at Charlie for a reaction, and when she saw the corner of his mouth turn up slightly, she knew he was amiable to the idea.

"Bella, I think it's wonderful that you're already making strides to get involved," encouraged Renee.

"Let me check into a few things and I'll tell you what I think about it," Charlie said, ever the over-protective father.

Later that evening, Bella trailed her parents carrying the apple pie her mother had baked as a gift for the hostess.

Esme Cullen answered the door when they knocked and seemed surprised and grateful for their token of gratitude at the invitation.

"Come on in," she said warmly. "We meet downstairs in the basement. Despite the way it sounds, it really is a nice area of the house. It also has the best acoustics for the hymns."

Renee and Bella both took in the exquisite home before them. It wasn't dripping of extreme wealth, nor did it look obnoxious in its extravagance. Yet every piece in the home looked like it was made simply to complement the item right next to it – all through the house this harmony was evident. Bella felt wrapped up in the unity and immediately felt at ease in the house.

The basement was definitely inappropriately named. It looked more like a large living room on the lower level of a home. Bella looked in to see children playing and small groups of people congregated in each corner of the room. She was just about to slide behind her parents to observe unabashedly when Alice tiptoed up to her.

"Hello again," she greeted cordially.

"Mom, Dad, this is Alice. We met earlier today at church," Bella stated before introducing her parents to Alice, "These are my parents, Charlie and Renee Swan."

"Alice?" Charlie extended his hand. "You're married to Carlisle's son…"

"Jasper," Alice filled in the blank.

"Right," Charlie remembered. "Well, it was nice to meet you, Alice."

"Likewise," Alice smiled. Before she excused herself, she told Bella to contact her if she had any questions about the nursery worker application.

"Alice works in the nursery?" Charlie whispered to Bella as they sought out a place to sit down.

"Yes. I think she's the only one right now. I don't know how many babies there are, but even two would be too many for one person," Bella stated. All of a sudden, she _really_ wanted to work in the nursery – just to have the time to get to know Alice better.

"Hmm…good to know," Charlie said.

As soon as he smiled Bella knew he would tell her he had no objection to her volunteering. When they sat down towards the back of the room, Bella was excited about her upcoming duty.

Someone dimmed the lights and the idle chatter that was taking place throughout the room died down immediately. Even the children quieted down as families and individuals moved to sit in various seats.

Esme walked to the back of the room and flipped a switch that turned on a light fixture that was made to look like many different candles, even though there were no flames and it was all one unit. Bella thought that the Cullen house was probably the only one on the earth that could make such an item look beautiful and not ceremonial or ritualistic.

As Bella was mulling over the beauty of the lights, she almost missed two men enter the room with guitars. One was tall and ample – like a football player, while the other one was thin and wiry. But when they started to strum out a harmonious melody on their instruments, not an eye in the house was focused on what they looked like.

Bella closed her eyes and took in the essence of the music. When she heard several voices around her rise up in a song she hadn't heard since she was a little girl, a strong emotion overcame her. It was a feeling she wouldn't be able to put into words, except for the fact that even though she hardly knew the people around her, she felt as if she belonged…as if she were home.

Bella opened her eyes when she felt a warm hand touch her own. She looked down to find that her mother was holding her hand tightly, and a glance to her left revealed that Renee was also moved by their surroundings. Tears of peace in this presence streamed down her face. Bella squeezed her mother's hand gently to let her know that she felt it, too.

When the lights were turned back up, Carlisle rose to walk to the front of the room. It was then that Bella noticed someone new in the room.

A young man, older than Bella but younger than many of the other men present in the room, briskly took a seat in the far rear corner of the room. As he leaned forward and grabbed a notepad off a nearby table and laid his arm across the back of the empty chair next to him, Bella reasoned that he must have been a member of the Cullen family. He was too comfortable, too rote in his mannerisms, not to be.

Bella might have been able to investigate more of his heritage confirming attributes had he not turned and stared in her direction. Immediately she turned her attention to the place where Carlisle stood and kept her eyes there for the remainder of the evening.

"That was wonderful," Renee gushed as soon as the Swans had exited the Cullen home and made their way down the front porch steps.

"Carlisle should start his own church," Charlie said in agreement. "He's got a gift."

As Bella trailed behind, listening to the happy musings of her parents, the low heel of the sling-back shoes she was wearing got caught on a pebble and she stumbled.

When she stopped and turned to inspect the hindering device, she noticed that someone was watching them from the window, but they were quick in their movements and she only saw the curtain being moved back into place.

An outside lamppost suddenly flickered to life, illuminating Bella's path as she hurried to catch up to her retreating parents.


	5. Chapter 4 A Granted Acquaintance

**A Granted Acquaintance** – _A planned introduction of two individuals at the request of another. Although often disguised as a simple luncheon or social dinner, the importance of such an introduction is integral to the betrothal process. One cannot happen without the other. _

_A successful initial meeting results in the request for additional contact within a twenty-four hour period. An unsuccessful initial meeting ends with no further communication between the parties._

* * *

"Hi, Bella!" Alice greeted as Bella tentatively stuck her head inside the nursery room a few minutes before the worship service was due to start. "You're right on time."

"Oh, good. I was afraid I'd heard wrong. So I do only need to be fifteen minutes early," Bella smiled.

Alice held out her for Bella to take, and when her gesture was accepted, Alice began to show Bella where all the necessities were housed in the room.

"I've been doing this alone for so long I'm not going to know what to do with myself now that I have help. It is really hard when you have two criers," Alice explained.

"I can imagine," Bella nodded as she looked around.

A baby gurgle alerted the two women that someone was waiting to be check in to the nursery.

And so their time together began. Over the next several weeks, Alice and Bella got to know one another in-between diaper changes, mid-morning feedings and games of peek-a-boo with the youth of the Forks Bible Church.

Bella placed great value on the time that she got to spend with Alice on Sunday afternoons, so when she arrived on a particular Sunday to find Alice's mother-in-law, Esme Cullen, volunteering in Alice's place, Bella was a little taken aback. Though Bella had become acquainted with Esme Cullen in the more formal setting of the Sunday evening services held in her home, Bella didn't know her personally, and was intimidated in her presence. After offering a friendly smile and a quiet greeting, Bella set about her routine of getting the nursery ready for the incoming children.

Esme recognized Bella's anxiety immediately and made quick work of making her feel comfortable.

"Alice quite enjoys working in the nursery with you, Bella. She talks so much about it that when she asked me to sub for her today I was almost as excited as she gets at the prospect of working with you," Esme said sweetly.

Since Esme had broached the topic of Alice's absence, Bella felt it suitable to inquire. "Is Alice ill?"

Although Alice and Bella were getting close, their relationship was limited to the time they spent together in the nursery and the brief interactions they had before and after the services at the Cullen home. They never spoke on the telephone or at other times during the week.

"Alice is taking a little hiatus. But I've worked for her several times before so you don't have to worry about me not pulling my weight," Esme said with a humorous glint in her eye.

"Oh, no, of course I wasn't worried about that," Bella said quickly. "I just wondered if Alice was okay. I'm glad she's not sick," Bella said. As she spoke, her mind played over Esme's choice of words. _Alice is taking a little hiatus. _They were vague and yet explanatory at the same time. It was evident that Esme was not going to offer any more information where Alice was concerned, so Bella didn't ask any further questions.

Instead, she worked fluidly and silently beside Esme as they checked children in and tended to their needs.

After a few long moments of quiet, Bella looked over and saw that Esme was watching her with the intensity of someone on the brink of an investigative report.

"How old are you, Bella?" Esme asked.

"Twenty-three," Bella answered.

"And you went to college to become a… teacher?" Esme interviewed.

"Yes," Bella nodded.

"Do you enjoy working outside of the home?"

Bella thought for a moment before she answered the question. "Well…I haven't really held a job that required me to work outside of the home in the traditional sense. I do enjoy working, though."

"So you didn't have a classroom? You didn't teach?" Esme looked slightly confused, as if her Intel had steered her wrong.

"I was an Education Specialist for a charter school. I did curriculum and needs assessments for homeschool families, and about once a month I met with each of my families for about thirty minutes, but that was the extent of it. Most of my work was done from home on my computer," Bella answered.

"Oh," Esme seemed overly intrigued. "That sounds really interesting. Do you plan to do that here in Washington?"

"I don't have the proper credential here. I need two more courses," then, knowing that Esme would understand, she added, "My dad is still looking into whether or not it's something I should do."

"That's lovely, dear," Esme responded, but her words revealed that she was distracted.

There was no time for further questioning as the families began arriving to pick up their little ones. The checkout process was fast paced and exhausting and by the time they had finished, Bella offered a quick goodbye, stating that she had to meet up with her parents.

"I'll see you tonight?" Bella asked right before she exited.

"Of course," Esme answered her after a brief moment of hesitation.

Bella tried not to dwell on the strange encounter she'd just had with Esme. She kept telling herself that Esme was sweet and just trying to get to know her better, but there was a nagging feeling in the pit of Bella's stomach that there had been a purpose to Esme's interrogation.

Thwarting the negative thoughts, Bella reminded herself that perhaps she was not yet used to people not knowing everything about her. After having lived in Billings so long, people rarely asked her anything about herself – they just seemed to know already. Forks would be a stark contrast to that, and if she really wanted to make friends, Bella realized she was going to have to get used to being more forthcoming about who she was.

The information counter that lined the west wall of the church became the undeclared meeting place after church for Bella and her parents. Bella stood there reading about the less-than-stellar results of the last bake sale as she waited.

Moments later, someone came and stood much too close for casual comfort. Assuming it was her mother or father, Bella glanced up quickly to see a man standing to her right. She didn't even have time to register what he looked like before she quickly looked away, hoping to have successfully discouraged any conversation. The last thing Bella wanted was to be accused of flirting or making advances to a man. In the small Cannabean society in Billings, it had been the most scandalous thing a single woman could be accused of…well, that and stealing another woman's husband.

Thankfully, two girls walked up within minutes and engaged the young man in conversation. Bella took that opportunity to slightly move further down the counter and search for her parents from a different vantage point. Her eyes found her father. He was standing on the other side of the lobby speaking with Carlisle Cullen. When their eyes met across the semi-crowded room, Bella raised her hand slightly and smiled to verify her presence. Instead of return the wave, Charlie turned his back to his daughter and continued his conversation with Carlisle.

_Strange_.

Before Bella's mind had any time to make more of the odd behavior, her mother came up and gently rubbed her forearm.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

Bella pointed in her father's direction. "I am, but I don't think Dad is. I tried to get his attention but-"

"Yes, Daddy's busy. We're going to go home and make lunch. He'll join us later," Renee said as she toyed with the edge of the Sunday bulletin she was holding.

Bella leaned down to catch a glance at her mother's face. Something odd was going on. Little things: Alice's absence, Esme's interrogation, Charlie's disregard and now her mother's reluctance to make eye contact; left on their own, these things would be of no consequence, but experiencing them all together, within a short period of time, raised Bella's level of suspicion. Something certainly was up.

"Is everything okay, Mom?" Bella asked. In all of her twenty-three years, Bella had never seen her parents have a disagreement or argument. And though they had never separated from her father after church, the action, on its own, was no big deal. However, again, coupled with everything else that was happening, it seemed out of the ordinary and weird.

"You're fine, Bella," Renee softly patted her on the hand but still avoided looking directly at her.

Bella noted that though she'd asked about her mother, her mother had replied about Bella's well-being and not her own.

_What is going on here?_

The thought occurred to Bella to demand to know why everyone was acting so strangely. The vision of a grown woman stomping her foot in the middle of church and commanding to have her questions answered created a humorous visual in her mind and Bella chuckled. This caused her mother to look up, but when she did so, she didn't look at Bella, but over Bella's shoulder to someone behind her.

When Bella turned to see what had gained her mother's attention, she saw a man, and judging by the color of his jacket, he was the same man who had been standing too close to her moments earlier. Bella could see his face now and though she didn't know his name, she recognized him as one of the Cullens; he was staring directly at her.

"Are you ready?" it was Bella's turn to ask. Her mother nodded quickly and together they left the church.

But if Bella thought the oddities of the day would end once she got home, she was sadly mistaken.

"Help me in the kitchen?" Renee posed her request as a question.

"What are we making?" Bella asked, still wary of her mother's demeanor.

"Uh…Sunday pork chops," Renee answered as she pulled the pork chops from the refrigerator. She pulled out a baking dish so hastily that three other pots clattered to the floor.

"Mom," Bella turned to help her pick up the mess. "What is going on? Why is everyone acting so strangely?"

"Who's acting strangely?" Renee asked.

"You seem scattered and Dad isn't here and…I don't know. It's just been a weird day," Bella explained.

Renee looked at Bella for two paces too long, as if she were seeing Bella's entire life in those moments.

"We'd better get lunch started. We don't have a lot of time," Renee stood up and placed the pork chops in the pan.

Bella stood by and watched as her mother seemed to try to distract herself in the kitchen. It was very unsettling to see her acting as she was.

"Mom, if you need a break or something, I can finish lunch," Bella offered.

Renee looked as if she was going to decline the offer, but then she nodded. "I just need to go freshen up for a minute. If you could get things going…" Renee headed towards the back of the house swiftly.

Bella made quick work of rubbing the pork chops in brown sugar and garlic powder before browning them in a pan that had been heating on the stove.

After she'd cooked the pork chops and finished a homemade stuffing, she heard the front door open and close.

"Mom?" Bella called out.

"It smells wonderful in here," Charlie said as he entered the kitchen – followed by Carlisle Cullen and his son. "Where's Mom?"

"She's in the back. I'll go get her," Bella said, anxious to add more estrogen to the testosterone level in the room.

"No, that's okay," Charlie stopped her. He held out his hand and gestured for Bella to join him in the small living room. When she did so, he made casual introductions.

"Bella, Carlisle and his son Edward are going to join us for lunch. Have you met Edward?" Charlie asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not officially, no." Bella nodded in Edward's direction. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Edward nodded in return.

Bella noticed that Edward and Carlisle looked burdened in their coats, so she offered to relieve them of them. When they quickly obliged and handed them to her, Bella finally had the excuse she needed to escape from the room.

On her way back to the living room, Bella noticed her mother lurking in the hallway and came up behind her and tickled her side. Instead of laughing, like she usually did, Renee screamed and swatted at Bella's hand.

"Don't _do _that!" Renee chastised in a harsh whisper.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked instead of asking her mother what she really wanted to know: what is wrong with you?

"Go and set the table, Bella," Renee said instead. "And please use the good china."

Bella did as she was told, making sure to set five places at the table. However when she came back to the table after retrieving the glasses, she saw that her father had removed one of the table settings.

"Your mother isn't joining us," Charlie simply said.

So focused was Bella on her father's words, and the reasoning behind them, that she didn't notice that he'd slid her plate across the table so that she was sitting beside Edward Cullen.

The sounds of metal against porcelain and glass against wood signaled that lunch was well underway. Bella listened as her father and Carlisle spoke, however it was hard not to gawk at the gentleman sitting beside her. His quiet presence was overbearing, and caused Bella to wonder about her own. Why was she here and not her mother?

"So, Bella?"

His voice was like liquid silk. Bella couldn't help but be mesmerized by it as she turned to address him.

"Yes?" she asked.

"How are you liking Forks so far?" Edward asked.

"Forks is …nice. It's quite different from back home, but I'm getting used to it." Bella had trained herself not to say anything negative about the town lest she offend a life-long dweller.

"And back home is…" Edward prompted.

"Montana. Billings, Montana." As Bella answered, she glanced up and saw that her father, while still talking to Carlisle, was also watching the interaction between her and Edward.

"What would you say were the biggest differences between Forks and Billings?" Edward leaned slightly forward as he spoke, as if no one else was in the room with them.

"Well, for starters, Billings has a Target," Bella smiled.

Edward also smiled and the sight was enough to make Bella pause to catch a breath. She looked down at her plate, embarrassed by her physical reaction to his outward appearance.

"And apart from the size, there's a different _feel_ to it," Bella continued. "I can't really explain it."

"I understand," Edward said fluidly.

Bella looked up again, into the concerted gaze of Edward Cullen, and noticed that the color of his eyes were what crayon makers would call 'asparagus'.

"Do you miss it?" he asked.

"Very much," Bella answered truthfully.

"Do you think you'll ever go back someday?"

Bella's brow furrowed at the question – not because she didn't know the answer, but because for the first time, she had to admit that aside from the story of her beginning, there wasn't anything left for her in Billings, and that was a saddening thought.

Bella shook her head. "I don't really make plans that far out into the future, but I'm not one to rule anything out."

In the silence that ensued after Bella's answer, Charlie cleared his throat and Edward turned to look between him and his father. A silent conversation passed between the men and Charlie and Carlisle moved to a standing position at the same time. Lunch was over.

When Bella returned with the coats, the men had moved to the foyer and were speaking in low clipped tones. As soon as they noticed her, they grew silent.

"Thank you for a fine meal, Bella. I'll be sure to have Esme ask for your stuffing recipe. That was amazing," Carlisle praised.

"You're welcome and I'll be sure to bring the recipe tonight when we come for the…" Bella trailed off when she saw Carlisle look at her father, a bemused expression on his face. She turned when her father placed his hand on her shoulder and took over the exchange.

"We'll be sure to get her that recipe," he said.

Charlie's grip on Bella's shoulder tightened instinctually as Edward stepped nearer to her.

"Bella," he spoke her name as if it were a piece of art of priceless value, "thank you for the lovely meal, and the even lovelier company."

Was he _flirting?_ Bella half expected him to take her hand and place a kiss upon it, but Cannabean law did not allow it. Instead he offered a gesture that was between a nod and a bow and Bella mirrored his movement.

"It was my pleasure," she whispered.

As soon as the door closed behind their guests, Bella spun to face her father. Lunch was odd and all, but what was going on between her parents?

"Dad, is Mom okay?" Bella asked.

"She's fine," Charlie answered quickly. How he knew that was beyond Bella, as he hadn't even seen her since he'd walked into the house. Yet the stern look on his face communicated that he was done talking so Bella backed off.

"I'm just going to clear up the dishes-"

"Good idea," Charlie cut her off.

They both turned to go in opposite directions, she to the kitchen and he to his bedroom.

"Dad?" Bella called for him.

"Yeah?" Bella could hear the reluctance in his voice as he answered her.

"I told Mrs. Cullen that I would see her tonight. I didn't know we weren't going," Bella stated. It was her hope that her father would fill in the mystery of the night's agenda.

He did no such thing.

"She'll understand," he said cryptically. And then he disappeared.

Bella couldn't wrap her mind around the peculiarities of the day and trying to do so was giving her a headache. All she wanted to do was clear the dishes and take a long nap. So that is exactly what she did.

Forks' sunless horizon made it impossible for Bella to know what time it was when she woke up later that evening. It was quite dark outside, but on rainy days, it always got dark early.

The alarm clock on her desk revealed that it was almost nine o'clock in the evening and Bella gasped. She'd missed dinner. Her parents had allowed her to sleep away the day? Would this day get any stranger?

Bella opened her bedroom door softly and tiptoed out into the hall. The only light in the house came from the living room and there was no aroma that signaled an evening meal had been prepared.

Perhaps her parents had gone to the Cullen's after all and left her behind. Maybe they'd thought she wasn't feeling well because she was in the bed in the middle of the day.

Bella's mind was well on its way to a hundred other scenarios when she heard her mother's soft voice.

Against what she knew to be right, Bella carefully moved closer to hear the conversation.

"I'm sorry if you felt abandoned today. I just couldn't do it, Charlie. I don't know what's come over me," Renee said.

"I do," Charlie told her. Even though she couldn't see him, Bella could hear the humor in his voice.

Renee let out a strangled sigh. "I don't understand this. I mean, I knew this day was coming, Charlie, but…I'm not ready for this."

"You'll get used to it. You have to."

"How can you be so calm about it? That's your baby girl, too."

"Believe me, I know. And it's just as hard for me, but really, do you want Bella here for the rest of her life with no future or family of her own? That's not what we want for her."

"But she's just so…young," Renee argued.

"She's four years older than you were."

The glee Bella felt at the discovery that her parents were not arguing was now overshadowed by their actual words. _What wasn't her mother ready for? What about her future and a family of her own?_

"So…what's he like?" Renee spoke again.

"Honestly…he's perfect." If someone could make perfection seem like a negative character trait, it was Charlie just then. "I have to spend a little more time with him, but as it stands, he is exactly the kind of guy I would pick for Bella."

"It just seems like it's too soon. We just moved here. Doesn't it seem kind of fast to you?"

"Renee, you know as well as I do that there are no timetables for these kinds of things. When it happens, it happens."

"Well…maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I mean, we don't even know how he felt about the acquaintance lunch. We may never hear from him again," Renee sounded hopeful.

"I don't know," Charlie sighed. "That Edward Cullen is a hard one to read."

"I feel like such a horrible mother right now," Renee sniffed and Bella realized she was crying. "Of course I don't want Bella to be rejected and I want her to have good man, and if Edward is that man…but I'm just not ready to give her up yet."

The sofa cushions moaned as Bella's parents moved around a bit and she imagined her father had moved to wrap her mother in a comforting embrace.

Bella felt dizzy as she finally realized what was going on. She had only been an observer of the betrothal process from a far off distance, and she'd never seen the onset of the procession. Still, Cannabean girls learned from their early years about granted acquaintances, the post-meeting waiting period, the negotiations, and the courtship.

All at once, pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. When Charlie had ignored Bella earlier at church, he was most likely discussing the imminent luncheon with Carlisle; Renee's strange behavior was caused by an emotional upheaval of what was happening. The required waiting period after the acquaintance ritual required the Swan's to be absent from the evening service at the Cullen's home. With the exception of Alice's absence, it was all starting to make sense.

Suddenly, a day's worth of nervousness began to well up inside of Bella and she immediately understood why her parents did not inform her about the events of the day. If she had known the significance the day held for her life, she would have been paralyzed with fear and anxiety. Because now that she did know, all she could do was feverishly replay her actions and responses during lunch over and over again in her mind.

Over analyzing her words and mannerisms was a defense mechanism within itself. It kept Bella from thinking about the beautiful man who'd sat at her side; the one who had initiated contact – and the one who was on the brink of deciding, by two o'clock tomorrow, that she was or was not the woman he wanted to get to know better and possibly spend the rest of his life with.

The knowledge was too much to tolerate and Bella quietly slipped back to her bedroom to ponder the fate of her future.

Just as she placed her hand on the doorknob, the shrill ringing of the telephone nearly jolted her heart out of her chest.

"Who would be calling at this hour?" she heard her mother ask.

Bella didn't even need to hear her father's words to know who was on the other end of that phone line.

"Hello? … Oh, hello, Edward."

* * *

**Phew! That was a lot of information for you to wade though. I hope you picked up on all the little tidbits. Nothing was irrelevant. Next chapter...Charlie and Edward...and other stuff... Remember, don't skip the little definitions at each chapter opener. They provide information you'll need within the chapter. Otherwise, things might elude you.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 5 Proposal of Courtship

**Proposal of Courtship. **_After a successful granted acquaintance meeting, the father of an unmarried daughter commits to spend time with a potential suitor to assess his character, viability and intentions. This process can take anywhere from a few hours to a few months, as the father considers the matrimony of his daughter. Once the father of the impending bride is confident in his appraisal of the suitor, permission for courtship will be granted or denied. _

* * *

Edward wasn't deaf, nor was he blind. He had seen and heard the evidence that his parents were eager for him to express an interest in the daughter of the new residents to the area: the Swans. For that reason alone, Edward did his best to steer clear of Bella. He'd glance at her every now and then when he saw her at church or at the evening services in his parents' home, but that was the extent of his interest.

Until he noticed that she _wasn't_ noticing him.

Bella Swan's ability not to take note of Edward seemingly made him notice her all the more. And because she was rarely looking at him, he was free to study her physical characteristics without fear of being caught, or worse, being expected to follow through with a formal acquaintance meeting.

It wasn't that Edward thought highly of himself – no true Cannabean would. However, he did know what many, non-Cannabean women placed great value on: financial security, commitment and desirability.

It was no secret that Edward had branched out from his family's successful winery and created a thriving business of his own. Though most people had no inkling of what a person in the import/export business actually did, they did recognize his face when he had been featured in a regional business journal as 'one to watch'. And although he did still reside in his parents' home, it was common knowledge that he wasn't there for financial reasons.

Another well-known tidbit of knowledge was that Cannabean men were not interested in playing the field. From an early age, it was ingrained in them that they would choose a woman for a wife, get married and have a family. A series of frivolous relationships was highly looked down upon and rarely condoned. Even though the Cannabean lifestyle was ambiguous to outsiders, this characteristic of their belief system was often considered a redeeming quality.

On the note of desirability, Edward wasn't positive about the motivations that drove the various flirtatious glances, gropes and giggles that he received from numerous women, but he did know that he wasn't at a loss for them. For whatever reason, women wanted his attention and they wanted to give him theirs. Granted, news had quickly spread that Edward had all but shut himself off from people during the last three years, so the advances had greatly decreased. However, that simply left the die-hards, those that would not heed his subtle hints at disinterest and unavailability.

But Bella seemed to place no value on anything concerning him whatsoever. It was the first thing that intrigued him.

The second thing that had piqued his interest was Bella's seemingly devout adherence to Cannabean law. Children born into the Cannabean faith often either abandoned it as they grew older or conformed to a watered down version of the religion that better suited their personal choices. Edward had to admit to belonging to the latter group at one point in his life, and his brothers still did. Even Rosalie, and definitely Alice, had never been described by their Cannabean virtues.

It was evident that Bella didn't cloak herself in a Cannabean coat that she only pulled out on Sunday or when she was around others who shared her faith. It was who she was even when she thought no one else was looking. The kind way she spoke to people, the respectful way she interacted with her parents and the reverent way she worshiped.

The first time he'd observed her during the music as the Cullen's Sunday evening service, he was riveted by the way she seemed to be overcome by the ambiance. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off of her, not even when she'd turned and caught him looking. Edward remembered the way she'd looked away quickly, as if stung by the eye contact.

That was the evening his mother had caught him peeking out the window at Bella as she and her family had departed. Ever since then, a knowing smile perched upon Esme's lips whenever Bella and Edward were in the same vicinity. It irritated Edward and drove him to swing in the opposite direction where Bella was concerned. He wouldn't talk about her, to her or even go near her. And when other people were around, he wouldn't look at her. But when he was alone or out from underneath the watchful eyes of his mother and sister-in-laws, he'd look.

And that's when Edward was captured by Bella's third attribute: he found her unpretentiously beautiful.

In fact, Edward, so far, had only seen one flaw that Bella had, and that was that she seemed to be fond of Alice. On the rare occasions that Edward joined the entire Cullen clan for Sunday brunch, he'd pretend not to listen as Alice prattled on about how funny Bella was, or how smart or how nice or how good she was with the babies…

Alice didn't have the best reputation around town, and most people, definitely other Cannabeans, kept her at arm's length. Of course the Cullen's didn't, because she was married to Jasper, and Bella, not being a long-standing resident, was not aware that there was any reason to be leery of her.

"Alice sure thinks Bella is something special," Esme had told Edward one evening when it was just the two of them alone in the house.

"Well that's certainly a red flag, isn't it?" Edward had responded.

"Edward…be nice," was Esme's reprimand.

"Honesty is virtuous even if it hurts." Edward knew his parents didn't agree with his literal adherence to Cannabean law, but they couldn't exactly argue with that which was in black and white.

Although the hopeful smile was not dormant on Esme's lips, she didn't speak of Bella or her associations with Alice again. And Edward tried to put it out of his mind as well – and he was nearly successful…until two weeks later.

Soon after the announcement that Emmett and Rosalie were expecting their fourth child, Alice had taken ill and had stayed home from the Sunday evening service at her in-laws.

When Bella came in to the basement that evening, Edward watched as her eyes searched for Alice, and when they didn't find her, Bella browsed about the room, taking in paintings, books and some of the cultural décor Carlisle Cullen had brought back from his travels abroad.

Edward leaned against the bookshelf in the corner as he leisurely watched her smile and offer niceties to the people who crossed her path as she made her way over to where her parents were settling. She was almost to them when her arm came into accidental contact with Jeremiah Doughtry. Quickly she excused herself and tried to move away, but Jeremiah stopped her.

Jeremiah Doughtry had always been a castaway in the Cullen brothers' circle of friends. Ever since an incident at the age of twelve when he'd "accidentally" killed a cat with a bb gun and then blamed it on Jasper, Edward and his brothers had pegged him as seedy and untrustworthy and wanted nothing to do with him. As he got older, Jeremiah was known to be a Cannabean in name only. When he was home on vacation from his job as a career student, he was a sometimes partaker of the evening services, but only when he had nothing or no one better to do.

No longer laid-back in his observations, Edward stood ramrod straight as he watched Jeremiah's Cheshire cat grin spread across his face. An unexplainable emotion gripped Edward as he waited for Bella's facial expression to reveal her thoughts. _Would she be sucked in by his worldly charm? Would she be interested in this guy?_

Relief exuded from Edward's pores as he watched Bella quietly disengage herself, smile politely and then point in the direction of her parents before going to join them.

"You know, Charlie Swan is a very agreeable man. Have you met him?"

Edward flinched as he turned and noticed, for the first time, his father standing next to him. Carlisle had witnessed the entire scene and instead of ask Edward about it, he simply asked the question that would reveal that he knew of his son's secret: Edward was interested in Bella Swan.

"I don't doubt that he is, but I'm not sure if I'm…ready for that," Edward answered, not bothering to deny what his father's question insinuated.

"What holds you back?" Carlisle questioned.

"I'm just a little wary of her choice in the company she keeps."

"Alice? Is that all that keeps you from moving forward?" Carlisle frowned.

Edward wondered if there was a double meaning in his father's words. Did he mean that Edward was stagnant in his life in general, or this matter alone?

Before Edward could discuss the issue with his father any further, Carlisle walked to the front of the room to start the meeting. As Edward took his seat, he glanced at Jeremiah and saw that he was leering hungrily in Bella's direction. He saw a new opportunity in her, and he was energized by the thought of a conquest. Although Edward no longer doubted Bella's disinterest in Jeremiah, he knew that eventually someone else would be successful in his attempt to woo her. Edward questioned himself as to whether or not he would be able to live with the fact that he sat back and watched it happen without even making an effort of his own. The question was answered before it was even completely formed.

And so later that night, as Edward helped his father put the basement in resting order, he asked the question the Cullen patriarch had been waiting years to hear.

"So…Charlie Swan is agreeable you say?" Edward asked.

Carlisle paused as he listened to what Edward was asking. "He is," he nodded. "Shall I pay him a visit?"

"Alright," Edward exhaled.

Carlisle walked over to Edward and placed his hand on his son's shoulder. He didn't even bother to restrain the smile that he wore.

"I'll handle the other issue as well," Carlisle promised.

Edward nodded, wondering exactly what his father would tell the Swan's about Alice to enlighten them.

The following week, Edward was still none the wiser about what his father said to Charlie Swan, but he was not shocked to find his mother preparing to work beside Bella in the nursery, in Alice's stead.

Edward tried not to look obvious as he watched his father have a short conversation with Charlie before church. He attempted to analyze Charlie's facial expressions as Carlisle requested an introduction to Charlie's daughter on Edward's behalf. Charlie's face was impossible to read; the set of his mouth hindered by his thick mustache.

Carlisle put Edward's curiosity to rest right before the church service started. As Edward moved down the row to sit on the other side of his father, Carlisle smiled.

"Did you have plans later today?"

"Today?" Edward asked, not expecting the meeting to take place so soon.

"Apparently he's seen you watching his daughter. He's been expecting you," Carlisle said, amused.

Edward's cheeks grew ruddy as he realized he hadn't been as stealth as he'd previously thought. Just about everyone had caught him eyeing Bella at one point or another. Even Bella!

The church service droned on, but Edward didn't hear a word of it. His mind was focused on the acquaintance meeting he'd just agreed to and the implications it held for his future. _What if Bella was the opposite of what he perceived? What if he had to reject her? What would that mean in their small Cannabean circle? _

_But what if Bella was exactly as he'd perceived? Was he ready to embark upon the journey of courtship?_

After church, Carlisle disappeared to find Charlie and confirm their afternoon plans. Edward saw him moments later speaking to both of Bella's parents, and he quickly turned away, his nerves not allowing him to watch in fear that their expressions gave away their true impression of him.

Instead, Edward roamed towards the information counter, a location he'd seen Bella frequent – and on this day she did not disappoint.

Out of the corner of his eye, Edward watched as Bella neared the counter, picked up a bulletin and leaned against the aged Formica as she read. Curiosity again seized him as Edward wondered about the woman he would soon be introduced to. Slowly he slid towards her until her body language revealed that she was aware of him. He wondered if she would speak to him or perhaps look at him. Each second competed to be the last one before she was eternally aware of him…

And she looked, albeit briefly. So briefly, in fact, that Edward wasn't sure that she even saw his face. But she didn't speak; she simply slid further away from him, microscopically. If he hadn't been watching for it, he may not have even noticed it.

"Well hello, stranger."

A pair of unnaturally hued heads disrupted Edward's view of Bella and he looked over to see Emily and Erica Parker, a set of eighteen-year-old twins who might have turned Edward's head in his younger years. However, at nearly twenty-five years old, they held no appeal to him. And certainly not when they stood next to the very person who _did._

"Hello Emily... Erica," Edward greeted tersely. From where he stood, Edward knew he was visible to his father and the Swans, if they bothered to look in his direction. The way Emily and Erica were sidling up to him would look very bad for a man about to be granted an acquaintance with another woman. Edward knew he had to get away from them, and quickly.

"How come you weren't at the single's dance?" Emily asked.

"I don't dance," Edward stated in a formal tone.

"Oh…for a minute there we thought it was because you were no longer single," Erica smiled.

Edward silently wondered if they planned to be as transparent as they were or if they were just that uncouth.

"And there's that," Edward hinted, hoping that his not-quite-a-lie would deter the eager twins.

"Really?" their faces fell simultaneously.

Edward shrugged and smiled slightly. But as he did so, he cast a glance in Bella's direction and was pained to see that not only had she moved several yards away, but also her mother was standing next to her and was staring straight at him.

And then Bella looked as well.

"I'm sorry, ladies. If you'll excuse me…" Edward made a quick exit and walked towards his father. Luckily Carlisle waved him over at that moment.

"Edward, Mr. Swan has graciously invited us to dine with his family this afternoon," Carlisle said as he stepped back to allow Edward a spot near Charlie.

"Thank you, sir." Edward extended his hand for Charlie to shake.

"You're welcome, Edward." Charlie's serious eyes penetrated Edward's.

Edward readied himself for a series of questions from Charlie, but none came. Instead, the three men stood there in awkward silence until Charlie spoke again.

"What do you think of Amos Bradley?" Charlie asked.

"I think he had a firm grasp on what it truly means to be a Cannabean and I strive to take his words to heart every day," Edward answered.

Charlie nodded. "You know, a lot of men your age don't even know who Amos Bradley is."

"That's unfortunate," Edward said. He would have added that he wouldn't have known either if it hadn't been for his own motivation and self-study, but he didn't want to disrespect his father in that way. Charlie obviously felt that all men should be schooled in Bradley's handbook of Cannabean lifestyle, but of Carlisle's three sons, Edward was the only one who knew it, and knew it well.

After a few more beats of silence, Charlie smiled and nodded towards the door. "Well, I think we've given the girls enough of a headstart. Shall we go?"

Edward felt as if hummingbirds were trying to escape his stomach as he sat in the back seat of his father's car and listened to Carlisle and Charlie banter as they approached the Swan home. He thought of what he would say to Bella and how she might react. Would she be shy? Would he have to carry the conversation? Would she talk too much? Would he be able to get a word in edgewise?

Not wanting to sound scripted or rehearsed, Edward abandoned his thought process and focused on the small, single-story home Charlie had instructed Carlisle to park in front of.

"This is a nice, quiet street," Carlisle remarked.

"It's home for now," Charlie said as he got out of the car and walked toward the front porch. Edward followed quietly behind.

The aroma inside of the house caressed Edward's senses as he was overtaken by how delicious lunch smelled. Had Bella cooked or had her mother?

His question was answered when he peeked into the kitchen and saw that she was the only one standing there.

"Mom?"

It was the first time he'd heard her voice in close proximity and the lilt of it complemented all of her other traits.

Edward watched as Bella's eyes grew in shock as she turned around to see her father accompanied by two other men. Barefoot and still wearing the dress she'd worn to church, Bella addressed her father only, asking if he wanted her to go retrieve her mother.

Instead, he gestured for her to stand at his side, and he made the introductions right then and there.

"It's nice to meet you," Bella finally spoke directly to Edward.

His heart skipped a double beat as he held her gaze. "Likewise."

Bella retreated to put away Edward and Carlisle's coats, and when she'd returned, Edward noticed that she had slipped on a pair of shoes. She busied herself with setting the table and didn't seem to notice when her father resituated things so that she sat next to Edward instead of alone on the other side of the table.

Edward had grown up knowing that any outing, meeting or social event that he ever had with a woman would be chaperoned. He'd had years to get used to the idea, yet knowing that he would have to strike up a conversation with Bella in front of an audience was a daunting thought, even though his father and Charlie were doing their best to look unassuming.

"So, Bella," Edward cleared his throat.

"Yes?" she turned to face him expectantly.

"How are you liking Forks so far?"

It was a simple question, and one Edward didn't necessarily need the answer to. Therefore, while she spoke, he paid more attention to her body language and demeanor, instead of her words.

She'd mentioned home, and Edward asked her about that. Was she homesick, and hoping to return to where she'd come from? Was settling down in Forks a part of her life's plan?

"I don't really make plans that far out into the future, but I'm not one to rule anything out."

Edward couldn't help but smile at Bella's answer. It was perfect in its simplicity. Just as she was willing to move with her family, despite her adult status by society norms, she would be just as willing to conform to the life of her mate.

It was an affirmation that Edward wasn't sure Bella was even consciously aware that she was making. After all, it had only taken him a few seconds in her presence to know that she had no idea that the lunch was actually a granted acquaintance. He wasn't sure why Charlie had kept it from her, but Edward had faith in the man's reasoning.

By the time Edward had said goodbye to Bella that afternoon, he knew that he wanted to see her again. And even though his father urged him to give something of this magnitude his "complete and utter concentration", Edward knew he did not need the full twenty-four hours that was customary.

Still, he waited until after the Cannabean service had finished that night, before he called the Swan home.

"I hope my call at this hour won't be construed as rude and disrespectful," Edward said the moment Charlie had picked up the phone.

"Oh. Hello, Edward," Charlie said. "What can I do for you?"

"Sir, I wanted to thank you for this afternoon and to ask for your permission to court your daughter," Edward managed in one breath.

"I see," Charlie said slowly. At first Edward thought that Charlie was going to deny his request; it took him a while to give his reply.

"Edward, I enjoyed having you by this afternoon as well. And since you've convinced me that you are a learned man in the Cannabean way, I assume that you know how we proceed from here," Charlie quizzed.

"Yes. You'll spend time getting to know me and determining if I'm the type of man you find suitable for your daughter…sir."

"So, what are you doing tomorrow, Edward?"

"Tomorrow, sir?"

"That's what I said."

"Tomorrow, uh, I have to be on a New York conference call at 6AM, and then-"

"How long will that conference call last?"

"I've never known it to last longer than an hour and a half."

"So you're free at eight?"

"Sure. I'll still be at my office, but I don't have any appointments at that time."

"Great. Just give me directions and I'll be there at 8AM sharp."

Edward knew exactly what Charlie's strategy was. He was giving Edward no time to prepare in hopes that he would catch a glimpse of the real man, and not a rehearsed façade. And though it was going to be a setback, business wise, to have Charlie in his office so early in the morning, Edward didn't begrudge him in the least, because all of Charlie's efforts confirmed what Edward had recently realized: Bella was a precious commodity and worth every hurdle.

So at 8AM the next morning, Edward sat behind his just-cleaned-off desk and waited until he heard Charlie's gruff voice address his administrative assistant.

"Good morning," Edward appeared to greet Charlie. Edward intercepted Charlie from his assistant and offered him coffee and an array of fruit and pastries. Charlie turned everything down, but followed Edward into his office. Edward quietly shut the door behind him, not wanting anyone else to hear what the two men were about to talk about.

"What do you do here, Edward?" Charlie asked as he stood in the middle of Edward's office and looked around at his surroundings.

"I import and export commodities," Edward answered.

Charlie turned and looked at him quizzically. "In simple-man lingo?"

"Basically it's international trading of merchandise."

"And what do you trade?"

"I import high end culinary items to restaurants…Russian caviar, stuff like that. And I export technology to other countries."

"Sounds pretty simple."

"Yes, sir, some days it does."

Charlie nodded and continued to look around. "How come you don't work in the family business?"

"Well…up until a few years ago, I did. When I went to college, I went with the intent of being able to take over the business side of the winery, but while I was away, my oldest brother stepped into doing that role, so there wasn't a need for me to take over that aspect. I started looking into other avenues of business, and as a senior project, I proposed an import/export business. My mentor professor encouraged me to consider it as a real opportunity, and long story short, that's basically what I have here, today." Edward explained.

Charlie didn't look impressed. "So you left the family business altogether?"

Edward nodded. "The wine and grape industry is seasonal and very risky. There are times throughout the year that it would be very hard for my brothers and myself to support a family on the business's earnings, while maintaining steady personnel. This became apparent a few years ago when there was an unexpected freeze in the area. My family's output was a third of what it usually was and if it hadn't been for the gains from this business, we wouldn't have been able to offset those loses and we would have had to lay off workers…the winery never would have been able to right itself by the next season."

"So you help with that business?" Charlie asked.

"Of course. It's still the family business, even if I'm the only one involved with it. I'll always take care of my family," Edward said.

Charlie finally took a seat and folded his hands in his lap. Edward tried, once again, to offer him something to eat or drink, but Charlie, again, refused.

"How old are you, Edward?"

"I'll be twenty-five in June."

"How come you still live with your parents?"

"Prior to getting my business going, I really had no reason to move out. But after the business was up and running, I simply waited until the process of incorporating was complete so that I could be sure my personal assets will be separate from the business, in case anything should happen," Edward noticed that he hadn't really answered the question, so he added, "My attorneys just finished the incorporation on my business, so I will start building my house in the spring."

"Where?"

"I'm looking into a few lots. One is down the road from here and the other is near my parents."

"Why wouldn't you move on your parents' property?"

"My father is considering relocating to a warmer climate once he retires from the hospital. If he did that, my mother might sell the winery, if my brothers aren't interested in taking it on completely, and it is unclear as to whether or not that means the homes would be sold as well or if the land would be rezoned. So…that's something to consider."

Edward wondered how much, if anything, his father had told Charlie about why Edward didn't own a home on the family property. But unless Charlie asked him a direct question, Edward wasn't planning on volunteering any information on that subject.

Charlie seemed to take in the information with great interest. Suddenly he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, a signal that he was shifting gears in the conversation. Edward used the lull in the interrogation to take a quick sip of water. The constant question and answer was making his throat raw.

"So, Edward…" Charlie leaned forward and looked Edward in the eye, "are you a virgin?"

Edward choked on the water that he was just swallowing, which resulted in a coughing fit.

"Yes, sir," he answered after pounding on his own chest a few times.

"Because my daughter is purer than Everest snow and I'm not going to hand her over to have her honor and reputation sullied by some maverick."

"Of course not, sir," Edward stated, still trying to come to terms with Charlie's no-nonsense way of speaking.

Charlie eyed Edward suspiciously, as if he were contemplating asking a more probing question. Edward prayed that he wouldn't be asked about his sexual experiences, because while he _was _a virgin, Edward didn't want Charlie to find out how narrow his qualifications were for the term.

"I have only the most honorable intentions where Bella is concerned, sir," Edward reiterated when Charlie remained silent.

"Well, Edward. We've talked about you, what you do, what your plans are," Charlie sat up straight and rubbed his hands together. "I just have one more question for you: why should I allow you to court my daughter?"

Edward thought briefly as he considered an answer that wouldn't sound trite or arrogant, but one that would do Bella justice.

But he couldn't think of anything to say. His mind was blank.

Looking down at his hands, Edward finally spoke, knowing that Charlie's decision depended on his answer.

"Sir, I can't imagine what it would be like to love, nurture and teach a daughter from birth, and then have some man sit before you and try to qualify himself as worthy to be in her life," Edward paused, already hating his answer and not being able to take it back. "Bella is the epitome of what any Cannabean man could hope to encounter, if only to know what kind of woman was truly intended for man. She's kind and giving, respectful and reverent; even when she thinks no one is watching... And, sir, I will expire my last breath striving to be the man worthy of that."

A deafening silence followed Edward's words, and neither man looked at the other.

"Well…thank you, Edward." Charlie stood abruptly and held out his hand for Edward to shake.

Edward accepted it, but he didn't make eye contact. The abruptness of Charlie's departure signaled to him that he'd blown it with his answer.

He hadn't said Bella was beautiful. Every father thought his daughter was beautiful so why would he be expected to turn her over to someone who didn't proclaim her beauty as well?

"Um…of course. Thank you…for your time," Edward said as he stood and ran his hands nervously through his hair.

After all that, and now it was over. He had been so close and his premature answer to a question of great magnitude had caused the perfect woman to slip through his fingers.

"Edward?" Charlie stopped in the doorway.

"Yes, sir?"

"I have to get to work, but we'll talk later to discuss the details, but Bella will be available to have supper with your family on Sunday."

Edward looked up to see the inconsequential smirk on Charlie's face. He'd made Edward sweat, intentionally, and from the looks of it, he'd enjoyed every minute of it.

"Sir?" Edward asked, for fear that if he asked the full question, he'd find out that he was mistaken.

"Oh, and another thing, if you're going to be courting my daughter, you're going to have to agree to call me Charlie. Sir makes me feel old."

Edward was speechless and he shook Charlie's hand once again and watched him exit thorough the front door.

Edward's admin looked at him in puzzlement as he wordlessly walked to his office, an eager grin on his face, and shut the door behind him.

It was official. The courtship was granted. And thank goodness for that, because the only thing Edward could think of was when he would get to be in Bella's company again.

* * *

**_*As mentioned in a previous chapter, Amos Bradley is the author of The Cannabean Handbook – a book that strict Cannabeans follow literally._**


	7. Chapter 6 Relinquishment

**Relinquishment**. _In Cannabean societies, the process of a father turning over his decision making authority for his un-wed daughter to her betrothed. Relinquishment often occurs in the mid- to late stages of the courtship process, however major decisions regarding the imminent bride are postponed until such time._

* * *

Bella was sitting at the kitchen counter, looking over credential courses offered through a local university, when her father walked in after he'd finished his mail route for the day.

"Hi, Dad," Bella looked up and smiled. "You look tired."

"That I am. Who knew getting in and out of a van all day would be this strenuous? I'd rather stand behind a counter all day as a shopkeeper," Charlie smiled. He wasn't really one to complain so Bella knew the job was really getting to him.

"Mom wanted me to tell you that she'll be home soon. She went to drop off that sweater she knitted for the Johnson's new baby," Bella said as she still held the course catalog firmly in her hands. "Uh, Dad?"

"Yeah, Bee?" Charlie asked, using the term of endearment he'd coined for his daughter at her birth.

"This school catalog came in the mail today and the credential courses I need are being offered this semester," Bella hinted. "I don't know if you've had a chance to think about it any further, but registration starts soon, so-"

"Actually, Bella…you, me and your mother are going to have a talk here after dinner tonight about your future."

The ominous way he spoke those words alerted Bella to the fact that the question she hadn't allowed herself to ponder the entire day was most likely about to be answered.

This had something to do with Edward Cullen.

"Oh?" Bella questioned. "Is anything…wrong?"

Charlie leaned against the counter, a bittersweet look in his eyes. He studied his daughter for a long while before he answered.

"Not wrong…just…changing," he finally whispered.

It was all that Charlie offered her and there was nothing else spoken on the subject for the rest of the afternoon.

When Renee returned home from her errand, she and Charlie locked themselves away in their bedroom and undecipherable whispers wafted up from underneath the door for what felt like hours. Bella busied herself with making dinner to keep from being overwhelmed with curiosity, but it wasn't working. Her hands trembled with anxiety as she washed, dried and put away dishes.

Bella was just taking a meatloaf out of the oven when her father entered the kitchen, followed by her mother.

Bella noted that her mother looked as if she'd been crying. Again.

"Mom-" Bella began and started toward her.

"Dinner smells great," Charlie interjected and positioned himself between Bella and her mother. "Lets all sit down and eat. We'll talk afterward."

Again, Charlie's tone was final and Bella didn't bother to protest; nor did she mention how much her parents were scaring her in that moment.

Dinner was a quiet affair in the Swan home that evening.

After everyone had finished eating, they just sat there in stillness, staring at their hands, as if they'd just finished their last meal.

And in a sense, they had.

Renee got up suddenly and began clearing the dishes from the table. When Bella stood up to assist her, Charlie held up his hand and gestured for Bella to sit back down. Renee simply put the dishes in the sink and returned to the table. As soon as she did so, Charlie cleared his throat and began speaking.

"Isabella, I spent the morning with Edward Cullen," Charlie paused to let the effect of his words set in, "and he has asked for permission to court you."

Bella knew that this conversation was coming and that it would go one of two ways. She'd either learn of Edward's desire to court her, or she would hear a list of amiable reasons of why he had no intention of doing so. And though she'd readied herself for the rejection, she now allowed herself to realize that she'd never really expected it. Charlie and her mother had been acting so strangely that it only meant one thing: they were preparing themselves to relinquish her.

"And your response was?" Bella asked the question as if it was customary, but she already knew the answer.

"I told him yes," Charlie answered.

Bella looked up into her father's eyes and saw his dilemma immediately. He wanted this for her. He wanted her to marry and have a family; to be well taken care of when he could no longer be the one to do so; to enjoy the love of another.

But he would be giving away his daughter – his only child. She would no longer be in his home, at his table, where he could enjoy her presence everyday and ensure her comfort and protection. There was now another that he would have to trust with that responsibility.

To say that Bella had thought of what this day would be like was an understatement. Even as a young girl she'd wondered about the man that would whisk her away and give her a new life. As an adolescent, she'd dreamed of a Cannabean wedding, underneath the warm spring sun, surrounded by nature and her loving friends and family.

The groom was an ever-present figure in Bella's mind, even though he was faceless. She imagined that he would sit with her in the early morning hours and talk over the planned events of the day while they enjoyed hot spiced cider – much like her parents did. Or they'd stroll through the garden in the evening, hand-in-hand, while discussing their future together. Later they'd rejoice together over the news of their first child and they'd send out invitations to the naming ceremony.

But before any of that could happen, the reality of meeting, getting to know one another, caring for one another, and then marrying and falling in love had to occur.

It was a daunting, exciting, and terrifying adventure.

"I know you have questions," Charlie went on. "And the best way for me to explain what this will mean for you, is to tell you what this will mean for me."

Renee sat to her husband's left, crying quietly. Each time her eyes met Bella's she would smile and nod, reiterating that it was a joyous occasion, despite her tears.

Bella nodded at her father, encouraging him to continue.

"When Edward asked to court you, it was based upon what he knew of you at this instant. Therefore, any requests to change anything from as they are now must go to Edward, not me. So, the class you want to enroll in, that's up to Edward."

"But we discussed that well before I met Edward," Bella frowned.

"It's up to Edward," Charlie enunciated slowly. Subject closed.

Bella sighed, her only display of contention. She waited for Charlie to continue.

"Understand Bella, that if this relationship is to progress properly, Edward has to understand that he is responsible for you in all areas of your life. It can't start the day after you get married. He has to prove that he can do that before you wed." Charlie paused to clear his throat. "Now, naturally he's not going to start making life altering decisions for you tomorrow. He understands that. But he also expects no major surprises. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes," Bella nodded. "My hair is brown. He doesn't expect me to have blonde hair the next time he sees me."

"Exactly."

"Or to have a job," Renee finally spoke up. "A job outside of the home can be a huge time commitment and therefore should be a decision made within the confines of a relationship…not outside of it."

Bella heard what her mother was saying loud and clear. Edward may not want her to work outside of the home. If that was his stance, her desire to complete her Washington credential was a moot point.

"But Bella, the most important change for you, is also the hardest change for me," Charlie reached across the table and took Bella's hand. "You'll never love Edward if you don't trust him. And the two of you will never gain or earn one another's trust if you second guess Edward and come to your mom or me all the time. This is where we have to wean ourselves off each another, so to speak."

"What exactly are you saying, Dad?" Bella recoiled from his touch. The concept was one that she didn't fully understand. Was he saying that she could never talk to her father about what was going on in her life? What if Edward said something she didn't agree with – _did _something she didn't agree with…Was she not ever to disclose it to her parents?

Charlie held up his hand in a calming gesture. "I know what you're thinking, Bee, and you have to trust me. I met with Edward…spoke with him and people who know him…watched him. I never would have granted him permission to court you if I thought he was the kind of person who couldn't be trusted to hold you in the very highest regard. But you'll never get to know him if you don't build confidence in him, and you won't do that if you weigh everything he says against what I say."

Again Bella nodded her understanding. She felt her mother squeeze her hand gently, but Bella avoided looking at her because she knew she'd start crying if she did. Funny, she'd always thought it was supposed to be a joyous occasion when a request for courtship was granted. But this was…hard. She had always focused on the gains that came from a successful courtship. But in listening to her parents, there was also loss. The loss of her life as she knew it; the loss of her youth.

"You have to end one story before you start another one, Bella," Renee whispered.

Those words resonated so much with Bella that she was still thinking about them nearly a week later as she got ready for the Sunday morning service at church. She wondered if Alice would be there and if they'd get to talk… and if Alice knew about Edward and the courtship. Immediately Bella belittled her obtuse thought. Of course Alice knew of the courtship. They were family.

Before Bella could mentally sort out any more information, Renee burst into Bella's room without knocking and headed directly for the closet. "Is your light blue dress clean?" Renee asked as she sifted through Bella's clothes.

"Uh…" Bella faltered as she tried to comprehend her mother's behavior and answer the question at the same time. "I think so. It's not in there?"

"Here it is," Renee said as she pulled it out and laid it on the bed. "Have you already had your shower?"

"Yes. Why? Are we late for something?" Bella inquired.

Renee turned and faced Bella so her daughter would be able to hear her reduced tone. "Edward is in the kitchen. He's going to have breakfast with us and then drive us to church. Hurry up and get dressed so you don't keep him waiting."

_Edward was here? Edward_ was here. Edward was _here?_

Bella kicked into high gear in an attempt to stay one step ahead of her nervousness, but it was useless. She was nervous. And unlike other people who spoke rapidly and non-stop for the duration of their edginess, Bella grew withdrawn and silent. And that was exactly the state she was in when she made it into the kitchen minutes later.

"Good morning," Edward rose when he heard Bella's approach.

"Good morning," Bella answered quietly. She looked at him quickly before glancing at the table to see what the status of breakfast was. There was coffee on the table surrounded by bagels, butter and jam. They never had bagels. The small abnormality was enough to tip Bella off. Her parents had been expecting Edward.

"Would you like some coffee?" Bella offered as she reached for a cup for herself.

"Thank you, but your mother beat you to it," Edward smiled and held up his mug as evidence.

Bella nodded. After a few sips she realized that there was no way she could ingest anything else. She was much too anxious.

"Bella," Edward paused until her eyes met his, "I hope I wasn't too forward in assuming you'd like to ride together to church this morning."

Bella looked to her father for an answer and then remembered what he'd told her about seeking answers from him instead of Edward.

"No, not at all. That will be nice, Edward. Thank you," Bella answered.

Not being a person who noticed cars, Bella had no point of reference for Edward's car as he led her to the waiting vehicle. She fleetingly noticed that the emblem on the front grill reminded her of the symbol of the Olympic rings; only they were in a straight line and not stacked atop one another.

Even without knowing anything about cars, Bella could tell that it was expensive. And when Edward opened, first the back door for Renee to slide in, and then the front passenger door for Bella, the sleek leather interior confirmed her suspicions.

The quiet purr of the engine was thunderous against the silence inside the cab of the car. Bella secretly wished her father had joined them, instead of driving on his own in his car. Charlie always knew how to obliterate awkward silences.

"Bella, my parents are really looking forward to having supper with you this afternoon. I hope you like roasted chicken," Edward stated.

"I do," Bella said quietly.

Knowing that Edward's eyes would be on the road, she stole a quick glance at him. Clean-shaven and thoroughly pressed, Edward looked the epitome of well kempt and put together. Bella's eyes traveled from his hair, thick and soft looking, to his hands. They looked strong and tender at the same time. She watched his long, lithe fingers as they fidgeted against the steering wheel. When they suddenly ceased movement, she peeked over and saw that he was watching her.

"Do you like to drive, Bella?" Edward's smooth voice shattered the stillness once again.

Bella thought it was interesting that Edward had asked her if she liked to drive, instead of whether or not she could drive. It wasn't uncommon to happen upon Cannabean women who had never learned to operate a vehicle.

"Sure…I don't mind driving." During her answer Bella realized that for one swift moment, she was slightly less nervous.

"Do you like total quiet when you drive or do you like to hear something? Do you listen to music or anything?" Edward asked.

"It depends. If I need to think about something, I like silence. Otherwise, my mother has a really good series of audio books about a frontier family. I usually listen to those," Bella answered. "What about you? Do you prefer silence?"

"No. I hate it. So you either have to talk to me or sing to me. Take your pick."

Bella looked over and noticed the side-winding grin that had crept onto Edward's face. When she caught his eye, she couldn't help but smile in return.

And then a giggle erupted from the back seat that started them all laughing. In no time at all, Edward and Bella were conversing about Forks and what they'd experienced of the town. By the time Edward pulled into the church parking lot, Bella's nerves were steady.

Since it was against Cannabean culture to engage in many forms of conduct that alerted others to the existence of a romantic relationship, there were only a few ways for non-family members to tell if two Cannabeans were actually courting. One of those ways consisted of the woman sitting with the family of the man that she was courting. So when Bella selected a seat between Edward and his mother, nearly two dozen faces in the congregation turned to stare at them with congratulatory smiles on their faces.

Throughout the entire morning service, people continued to turn around and crane their necks to get a good look at the new girl and the guy who everyone thought had sworn himself to a life of singularity.

It would have been highly distracting for Bella if she weren't already so distracted by Edward's proximity.

Each time Edward moved Bella became more and more aware of him. When he shifted in his seat, Bella noticed that his pant leg slightly lifted to reveal that he was wearing dark brown socks. When he reached to pull out a pen Bella smelled the peppermint from the package of mints tucked into his inside pocket. When he scratched an itch and then twisted the wristband of his watch, Bella again took note of Edward's hands. Those virulent, masculine, appealing hands.

"Are you okay?" Edward leaned over. It wasn't until he spoke that Bella realized the church service had ended.

"Yes. Why?" Bella asked him.

"You look a little…flushed," Edward said with a concerned look on his face.

"Well…I am a little warm. Is it hot in here to you?" Bella asked covertly.

"A little," Edward agreed, although he still wore a jacket.

Esme interrupted them right then by giving Bella an engulfing hug and a sweet kiss on the cheek.

"I hope you're not famished, Bella. I wanted to make this delicious roasted chicken for you, but it takes a little bit to prepare. We'll eat in a little over an hour. Is that okay with you?" Esme asked.

Bella was confused by Esme's statement. After the morning service, Bella always worked in the nursery for the worship service, an activity that she had been sharing with Esme. So why was Esme acting like she had forgotten their commitment?

But instead of ask, Bella simply smiled and nodded in return and followed the Cullens out of the aisle and into the church foyer.

When she attempted to head towards the nursery, Edward grabbed her hand to stop her. Simultaneously they looked to where their hands were joined and Edward let go as if he'd touched burning coal.

"Sorry," he muttered.

Bella just stood staring at him, waiting for an explanation and surprised by the unexpected nature of his reaction.

"Your mother said she would take over for you in the nursery until they found your replacement," Edward explained.

"My replacement?" Bella echoed.

"Yes," Edward looked confused. "Since you'll be spending your Sundays with…me."

"Oh. Right," Bella nodded in understanding.

But she didn't understand. It was as if she was being fed tiny bits of information moments after she needed them and she didn't like the feeling of being outside of something that everyone else was in on.

For fear of revealing just how little she knew about what was going on, Bella remained silent as she, once again, sat in Edward's car on the way to the Cullen home.

When Edward pulled his car to a stop, he glanced in Bella's direction several times before getting out and opening her door after opening the back door and letting out his mother, who'd offered to chaperone the car ride since Renee was working in the nursery on Bella's behalf.

Bella walked stiffly behind Esme as she led her into the house through the mudroom, then the kitchen, and then into a small sitting room.

"Less than an hour from now," Esme winked. "I promise, we'll all be eating."

"I'm fine. Really." Bella insisted. Then remembering her manners, she added, "Would you like some help in the kitchen?"

"Of course not," Esme smiled at her. "Edward would be quiet disappointed if I usurped all of your time with cooking."

"Oh…right," Bella whispered to herself.

Edward stepped up then, as if hearing his name was his cue, and gestured for Bella to take a seat on a small couch. When she did so, he gingerly sat down beside her.

They sat next to each other in silence for many minutes.

Every so often, Bella would glance around the room, expecting to see Mr. Cullen or Mrs. Cullen inconspicuously seated in a corner, watching. But there was never anyone there. They were alone.

When her eyes roamed the room again, moments later, they landed upon Edward and he looked quite apprehensive.

"Bella…are you feeling alright?" he asked.

"Yes. I'm fine," she said again.

"Really? Because you don't seem fine. You look…well, if you don't mind me saying, you look scared to death."

Bella couldn't help but smile at his frankness. "I'm just really…nervous." She admitted.

"Me, too."

That shocked Bella. He looked so calm and unfettered. "Really?"

"Yeah," Edward laughed. "Why do you seem so surprised?"

"Because you know what's going on."

"And you don't?"

Bella looked over at him, wondering if he truly didn't know the answer to that question. And then suddenly it occurred to her. Up until Edward entered her life in his current capacity, her father had been her only frame of reference for Cannabean men and their expectations. Now, she wondered if her father's no-questions-asked policy was simply a personality trait instead of a Cannabean trait.

But she wasn't sure it was worth the risk to ask. After all, Charlie seemed to really like Edward. Maybe it was because he felt the same way about most things as Charlie did. Maybe Charlie saw in Edward all of the things that he, himself, upheld as right and good.

No. She wouldn't risk it.

"Bella, if you have questions about something, you should just ask me," Edward coaxed.

Was he genuinely offering?

"Really?" Bella ventured.

"Of course," Edward urged. "How else are we going to get to know one another?"

Bella considered his words. _What's the worst that could happen? We'd really get to know one another? He'd find out what I'm truly like? Is that so bad?_

"Edward," Bella wrung her hands anxiously in her lap as she spoke. "My father didn't really tell me much about you and what we're-"

"What would you like to know?" Edward interrupted.

"Well…how old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

"And you live here?"

"For now."

"For now?"

"Yes."

Bella waited for Edward to elaborate, but he did not.

"Is that all you want to know?" Edward asked.

Of course that wasn't all Bella wanted to know, but it just didn't feel right to pummel Edward with questions. In doing so, she felt like she was failing a test of some kind.

She opened and shut her mouth several times before shaking her head and giving up.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked.

"Well…just one more," Bella stated without taking her hands off her lap. "Everything that's happened so far today: you coming for breakfast, me sitting with you at church, not working in the nursery…was I supposed to know about all of that?" Bella looked up at him then. "Because I didn't."

"Would you have done anything differently had you known?" Edward asked.

"No, but I feel like I've been a burden. You had to drive all the way to my house and then make arrangements for someone to work in the nursery-"

"And you don't think I wanted to do those things?" Edward asked. "You're not a burden, Bella. And I saw when Melinda initially asked you to work in the nursery. She never would have taken no for an answer. And if I had asked you to tell her that you wouldn't be working in the nursery for a few weeks, well, then that would have been a burden to you. And the last thing I want to do is burden you."

Edward seemed so sincere, but Bella still felt unsettled. Again she glanced around the room, hoping to see Edward's parents nearby, but she and Edward were still on their own. The Cullens seemed like upstanding Cannabeans, so why would they leave her alone with Edward on their very first meeting together?

A clipped glance at Edward revealed the concentrated way he was staring at her, like he was looking _through_ her. Instantly, Bella was intimidated.

And then, in a voice no louder than the one he was using to speak to her, Edward requested, "Mom? I think Bella would like a cup of tea."

Bella was startled when Esme entered the room moments later with a cup of steaming tea atop a saucer.

"Would you like sugar, Bella?" Esme asked.

Bella simply shook her head. Her hands trembled as she accepted the cup.

Edward watched his mother exit the room before he turned back to Bella. "Don't assume that we're alone just because you don't see anyone else in the room." He pointed to a speaker panel on the wall. "There's an intercom system that allows my parents to hear us from any room in the house." And then he pointed to a small device that sat atop a bookshelf. "And with that video camera, my dad can see us from his office."

She felt exposed, as Edward seemed to be able to read her thoughts. She felt guilty for doubting the Cullen's integrity as she stirred her tea methodically, daring to look anywhere but at Edward.

He touched her shoulder before retracting his hand swiftly. "Bella, I don't want you to think you've done anything wrong. You haven't." And just as Bella's eyes met his, he whispered. "Believe me."

As his verdant gaze held hers, Bella realized that she truly had no reason not to.

* * *

**Thank you for the truly uplifting and wonderful comments and reviews on this story. I cherish them all and wish that I could respond to every comment. I need a thirty-six hour day! I appreciate you all reading this story.** **And for the lovely writers who've taken the time to rec this...you are so loved and appreciated.**


	8. Chapter 7 Books of Betrothal

**Books of Betrothal** – _A set of two books, one for the male and one for the female, as they navigate through the process of courtship. The Books of Betrothal are broken up into phases, and as the relationship progresses towards an announcement of betrothal, chapters guide the couple through the necessary knowledge of impending matrimony. _

* * *

Carlisle pulled into the freshly laid gravel parking lot just as Edward was crossing the walkway from the mailbox. When Edward caught sight of his father he waved to him with his mail-clad fist.

"Hi, Dad," Edward greeted him as he came to a stop at Carlisle's sedan.

"Hi, Edward," Carlisle smiled as he removed a shallow box from his back seat before following Edward inside of his office building.

Edward gestured for his father to enter his office while he took a moment to pause at Gladys, his assistant's desk. He handed her the mail. "Gladys, if you could hold my calls, that'd be great," then he leaned forward so that his father wouldn't hear, even though he was already inside Edward's office. "Except if my realtor calls. I need to take that one."

"Huh?" Gladys asked. At nearly retirement age, she was having a few issues with her hearing and, when her arthritis flared up, her typing. But Edward felt secure in her skills and until she told him she was ready to quit, he kept her on.

Edward's eyes darted to his open office door before he repeated himself. "If Dale Hartford calls, put him through. That's the only call I'll take for right now," Edward said of his realtor.

"Certainly, Mr. Cullen," Gladys nodded. Try as he might, Edward couldn't get her to call him Edward.

"Sorry I had to rush off yesterday while you were with Bella. We were down three doctors at the hospital," Carlisle explained once Edward walked into his office and took a seat behind his desk. Carlisle went on to briefly explain that he'd had to go in and check on a few patients and by the time he'd returned home, it had been time to start the Cannabean service. "How'd the rest of the afternoon go?" Carlisle asked his son.

"It went well. I'm enjoying getting to know Bella," Edward said, his eyes traveled between his father's face and the box Carlisle held on his lap.

"That's great. She seems lovely…though kind of nervous, don't you think?" Carlisle asked.

It wasn't a question as much as it was an acknowledgement of something Carlisle thought Edward had done incorrectly.

"Meaning?" Edward asked. He wasn't in the mood to play guessing games and he just wanted his father to come out and tell him what was on his mind.

"Well…it just seemed like maybe you could have been a little more forthcoming. I know that you and Mr. Swan think it's best to keep Bella on a need to know basis, but-"

"Charlie suggested that things would be easier for Bella if I didn't overwhelm her with too much information at once. So that's what I'm doing," Edward explained.

"You're leading her around blindfolded, that's what you're doing. And judging by how skittish she seemed yesterday, I don't think you're doing her any favors."

"Dad, no offense, but Charlie is Bella's father. If he says it's best not to give her too much information at once, then that's what I'm going to do."

"Well, son, keep in mind that Bella is Charlie's _only_ child – meaning he's never had this experience before. He has no idea how she's going to respond to knowing what's going on. And Bella is a learned woman. She's been to college, even held a job. I think you're underestimating her."

Edward looked down at his hands as they lay folded atop of his desk. Once again he and his father had reached a crossroads based on interpretation of Cannabean ideals. Even though Bella was an only child, Charlie's reasoning for doling out bits of information at a time was based on Cannabean ordinances and laws. Men were simply required to handle certain issues that women didn't have to deal with. And while Edward agreed with Charlie's interpretations, even if he didn't, he wouldn't go against him. Charlie still had the ability to call off the courtship, as a betrothal had not been announced.

"What have you got there, Dad?" Edward nodded at the box his father held, intent on changing the subject.

Carlisle's eyes softened as he opened the box and pulled out two hardbound books, one a dark teal color, and the other a deep magenta.

"I can't believe this is the last time I'll ever do this," Carlisle said, a sentimental air coating his words. He tightened his grip momentarily on the books before handing them over to Edward.

"Do you know what these are?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes," Edward nodded. "They're betrothal books. I remember when Emmett got his."

Betrothal books were usually passed down from father to son. However, the books were quite expensive, and in families of lesser means, brothers were known to share the books instead of investing in another set. Carlisle was fortunate enough to be able to provide each of his sons their own copies – copies that they would then be able to pass down to their own sons when the appropriate time came.

Carlisle nodded and pointed to the teal book. "This one is for you and the other is for Bella. You'll notice that your book is almost double the size of Bella's. This symbolizes the increased responsibility you bear in the relationship, as the man."

Edward considered pointing out to his father that the size of the betrothal books also reiterated his and Charlie's logic, but his father looked emotional enough already, and he didn't want to risk a disagreement with him. Instead, he remained silent and listened to the presentation that Carlisle had obviously prepared to give on what the books would mean for Bella and Edward:

"The books provide a basic guideline for your courtship and the betrothal. Although it will ultimately be up to you at what pace you go through the chapters, I would advise you not to skip around, nor should you move forward until you feel that you and Bella have satisfactorily completed a chapter.

"For instance, there is a chapter in there on the dissemination of duties within the relationship. That definitely needs to be completed before you discuss the chapter on family finances and spending habits. Otherwise, you could waste a lot time discussing things that don't apply to one or both of you."

"Right," Edward agreed as he browsed the table of contents.

"That's just a broad example. You also want to make sure you're not sending mixed messages by jumping across phases. There are three phases in the process: the introductory phase, the discovery phase and the betrothal phase. Right now, you and Bella are in the introductory phase of the courtship, where you're getting to know one another and one another's lifestyles. If you jump over to the next phase before you're done with introductory, you risk implying something that may not have happened yet, namely, an announcement of betrothal." Carlisle paused after his lengthy explanation. "Am I making any sense?"

"Yes, I understand. Basically you're telling me I need to go in order of the chapters, though I don't necessarily need to allot the same amount of time to each chapter," Edward paraphrased.

"Exactly," Carlisle said as he stood up and walked over to Edward so that he could read over his son's shoulder. He cleared his throat to announce his next statement.

"If you look at the table of contents in Bella's book, you'll see that each topic is mirrored there, with the exception of one." Instead of verbally stating which topic was missing, Carlisle moved his index finger down the page until it rested on a topic in the third phase of the courtship. He tapped the page until he was sure Edward had seen it.

Edward looked down to read what his father was pointing to:

**Sexual Intimacy**

Carlisle once again crossed the small office and sat back down in his chair. He leaned forward and pressed his fingers to his lips as he gathered his words.

"Edward…I understand that our interpretation of Cannabean Law isn't always exact, however, in most areas, it's a non-issue…but on the issue of intimacy during courtship, there are obvious differences." Carlisle's discomfort was apparent as he avoided Edward's direct gaze while he spoke. "Now, your brothers took a different approach to intimacy during courtship, so I didn't exactly have to deal with this –"

"That's because they both had sex with their wives before they got married," Edward stated bluntly. "They weren't exactly interested in having you chaperone their wrongdoing."

Carlisle cast a pointed glare in his son's direction. "I'm not here to presume judgment on others, Edward. Now, whether you want to discuss this now or later, I'm letting you know that I don't have any experience on chaperoned sessions in this arena…nor am I particularly comfortable with the idea of it."

"So you won't chaperone?" Edward asked.

"You _want_ me to do that?" Carlisle asked in distaste.

"Dad, I don't even know what it says yet," Edward pointed at the book, "but if it's part of the process, then yes, I'll probably want to do it. How else am I supposed to do it?"

"Then you'll have to agree to some sort of compromise, Edward," Carlisle sighed. "We'll talk about it more after you've read the chapter and have a clearer idea of how you'd like to proceed."

Edward nodded in agreement as he put his book down. He glanced over at Bella's book and picked it up. The lightweight counterpart was much easier to handle.

"So I just hand her this book the next time I see her?" Edward asked.

"No," Carlisle smiled. "Everything you need to know is in your book, Edward. And since Bella is going to spend the next few weeks getting to know us, that'll give you time to read over the first few chapters and decide how you'd like to best tailor the program to suit you and Bella."

Edward grimaced when his father mentioned Bella spending time getting to know the family. Up until now, he'd been able to shelter Bella from the rest of his family, but since he was known for his literal interpretation of Cannabean methods, he couldn't change things now and risk being considered a hypocrite.

"Dad, is what we talked about still in effect?" Edward asked.

"Jasper and Alice won't be at brunch on Sunday," Carlisle expressed with a modicum of sadness, "and I should tell you that he feels you're being a tad bit unfair to Alice. When we made our agreement, it wasn't Jasper's intention for this to go on indefinitely."

"It won't. But it's not time yet. I'm not ready," Edward stated simply.

"Edward, you really should just tell her-"

"Dad, you promised," Edward stood suddenly.

"I know, and I'm not going back on my word," Carlisle assured him. "I just wanted you to be aware of what your brother is feeling."

Edward didn't offer his feelings, one way or the other, on what his father had said to him. Instead, he simply sat through a bit more small talk about his family, about what they had planned for Sunday and whether or not Edward had any other questions about what was ahead of him.

Finally, Carlisle stood to leave and Edward exhaled in relief. They'd just about made it through the entire morning without a confrontation.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Carlisle stopped just before he left Edward's office, "I got a call back from the county on your plot of land and they said you're still clear to submit your plans for building. I can get the contractors started next week if you want."

"Uh…that's alright, Dad. I think I'm going to hold off on that for a little bit," Edward stated cautiously.

"Why would you do that? You know how much time you'll lose because of the rain. You'd better start building soon or you won't have a house to move into when you need it. And you told Charlie that you'd be building," Carlisle reminded.

"I did. I just…want to look into a few more options first."

"Options?"

"Just something that came up."

"You're seriously not going to build on your lot?"

"I'm just going to look at another house, Dad. I just want to make the best decision."

"The best decision is to build the house on the Cullen plot like the rest of the family."

"You might be right, Dad. But, it's just something I want to look into. The house has some other assets that would benefit the business, so…there's no harm in looking, right?"

Now it was Carlisle's turn to evade the question, but as he left, Edward could see that his father wasn't happy.

Edward tried to get some work done during the rest of the morning, but the books of betrothal were enticing Edward's curiosity. Instead of looking at the import tax on Russian salmon, Edward skimmed through the first few chapters of the book before rushing to the chapter that lie in the center of the book: the chapter on sexual intimacy.

Even though it was _his_ book, and he was a grown man on the brink of matrimony, Edward still felt that he had to conceal the fact that he was reading about sex in the middle of the afternoon.

Like a child with a stolen cookie, Edward placed the book in his lap below his desk and used the meager light from the sunless sky to illuminate the words about purpose, passion and reproduction. And then he turned the page.

There were pictures.

Edward was nearly salivating at the notion of Bella in some of the positions that were depicted in that book. His hands in her hair…her hands on his chest…his hands on her chest…on her breasts…

He got hung up on the image of Bella's naked breasts, and although he'd barely seen an outline of her form underneath all of the layers she wore, Edward imagined Bella's breasts to be pink peaks of perfection. They'd fit flawlessly in his hands and her nipples would rise at the attention of his tongue, his fingers, his…

"Mr. Cullen?"

"Aaah!" Edward was jerked out of fantasy about Bella when his assistant opened the door suddenly, causing him to drop his book and smash his fingers between his chair and his desk in an attempt to hide his obvious state of arousal.

"I'm sorry to barge in," Gladys apologized with wide eyes. "Your phone is on do not disturb and there is a phone call for you on line one. You said to hold your calls while your father was here, but he's gone and…"

"That's fine," Edward nursed is fingers as he took his phone off the do not disturb setting. "Who's calling?"

"A Charlie Swan," Gladys announced with a nod.

Just the sound of his name was like having a vat of ice water drench his groin.

"Uh…sure. Put him through." Edward ran his hands over his face in an effort to regain his composure before he picked up the phone.

"Mr. Swan…I mean, Charlie. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Edward, just fine. Listen, I won't take up too much of your time, I know you're busy. I just wondered if you were free for dinner this evening," Charlie invited.

"_This_ evening? As in tonight?" Edward asked. He had yet to get used to Charlie's last minute nature.

"That's what I said," Charlie reiterated. "Is it not a good night for you?"

"No, it's fine," Edward stated quickly. And then, after a moments hesitation, he added, "Will, uh, Bella be there?"

"Of course," Charlie said. Even over the phone, Edward could tell that Charlie thought he'd asked a foolish question.

"Great, then what time shall I arrive?" Edward asked.

"What time do you finish up work?"

"I'm done by three each day," Edward answered.

"Knock off a little early, do ya?" Charlie asked.

"Actually, I work according to the hours of the market exchange, so I start at six-thirty in the morning and finish up a couple hours after the market closes at three," Edward explained. He knew he shouldn't have been offended by Charlie's comment, but it did sting a bit. He was a hard worker, and it irritated him to have someone insinuate otherwise.

"Well good for you," Charlie said. "I'll see you at five."

As soon as the phone call ended, Edward returned to the book of betrothal. However, this time he had the common sense to start at chapter one.

With the book now flat on his desk, he read about the origin of the book, how they were to be used and how the books should be well cared for and revered. There was even a suggestion that Edward keep his book under lock and key, but he had no plans to take things to that level.

The list of rules a few pages in seemed to go on endlessly. Half of the items prohibited during the first two phases of courtship, Edward was already aware of:

No unattended meetings (chaperones must be present at all times)

No holding hands

No kissing

No dancing (prohibited among unmarried Cannabeans)

No embracing

But when Edward opened Bella's book to the equivalent page, he saw that her list included things that weren't on his:

Avoid walking barefoot

Avoid open-toed shoes

Avoid the use of sultry perfume

Avoid the use of brazen and unnatural cosmetics

Avoid neck-baring hairstyles

Avoid ostentatious jewelry and clothing

And though this list was also long, there wasn't anything new or surprising, except for one entry. According to the lists, Edward and Bella were not allowed to swim together. Apparently the sight of Bella in a bathing suit would be too much for Edward's fragile, lust-filled mind to handle.

He laughed at the audacity of it all.

And then he went on to fantasize about what Bella looked like in a bikini.

The book offered Edward more answers than he expected to find. And just like his father had said, it even told him how to go about giving Bella her book. Edward liked the idea of creating a special occasion to commemorate the event, and later that afternoon, as he drove to the Swan home, he mentally began planning what he would do.

When Edward arrived at Bella's parents' home, he saw that all of the curtains were open and he could see nearly throughout the entire house. Bella sat towards the back of the home in what looked like a glass enclosed sun porch that had been added on after the house had been built.

From the way she was looking down with such concentration, Edward ascertained that she was reading a book. The light sweater she wore wrapped gently around her chest, and her hair cascaded softly over her shoulders.

She looked like a portrait of contentment.

Charlie opened the door before Edward knocked, and Edward was slightly self-conscious at being caught staring at Bella.

"You can go on back," Charlie gestured toward Bella.

Edward expected Charlie to follow him, but Charlie stopped midway and took a seat in the living room. Evidently a room with glass walls took away the necessity of a chaperone to actually be in the same room with the couple.

"Hi," Bella looked up and smiled when she saw Edward enter the room.

Having just read the list of don'ts in the betrothal books, Edward stood awkwardly before her, not quite knowing what to do in proper greeting. After a small lull, he briefly touched Bella's hand before sitting down across from her.

"I don't think I noticed this room the last time I was here," Edward said as he looked around.

"My parents usually keep the curtains in the living room drawn because it gets drafty, so this room is usually hidden," Bella answered.

In the silence that ensued after her comment, Edward's thoughts turned to the plans he'd been mulling over on his drive.

"Bella, what's your full given name?" he asked.

"Isabella Marie Swan," she answered. She smiled as she looked down at the small pillow she was nervously kneading. "After all these years, it still sounds like someone else's name every time I say it."

"Why is that?"

"Because no one ever addresses me that way. I've been 'Bella' since the day I was born."

"Bella Marie," Edward said softly. "That's got a nice ring to it."

"I guess it does." Bella looked up at him shyly. "And yours? What's your full name?"

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

"Two middle names?"

"Two middle names," Edward confirmed. "I was the only kid in kindergarten still writing his name after everyone else had gone out to recess."

As Bella laughed at his joke, Edward noticed that she had nearly concealed the book she was reading under the couch cushion. When she saw what he was looking at, she tried to push it back further behind her, but he pointed to it.

"What are you reading?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing important. Just a book," Bella tried to downplay her interest, but Edward had seen the way she had been absorbed in it before.

"May I see it," he held out his hand.

Reluctantly Bella handed over the book. As she did so, she suddenly became very interested in the screws that held the large panes of glass together on the sun porch walls.

Edward turned over the thick paperback in his hands to reveal the title: _Export-Import Basics: the Legal, Financial and Transport Aspects of International Trade._

He looked up at her in astonishment. "Are you serious?"

Bella looked genuinely remorseful. "I'm sorry. I just…my father told me what kind of business you were in and I figured…if maybe you wanted to talk about work…it would be helpful if I knew what you were talking about."

"You're reading about what I do for a living?" Edward had yet to take his eyes off the book for Bella to adequately gage his expression, and the tone of his voice was unrevealing.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped. I wasn't checking up on you or anything…"

"Bella…that was really sweet," Edward finally looked at her, and the emotion in his eyes confirmed his words. "But if you want to know about the import-export business, this is probably the worst book ever written on the subject."

Bella chuckled softly. "Import/Export for Dummies was checked out."

"Well, I happen to have my very own copy of that. I'll lend it to you anytime you want," Edward smiled. "It taught me everything I know."

Bella laughed and smoothed her hands over her skirt, a sign that she was still nervous.

"So what else did you do today, besides read horribly boring books from the library?" Edward asked.

"I went for a walk, went grocery shopping and then I went to the sporting goods store to buy a new pair of boots. My other ones weren't cut out for so much rain," Bella said.

"What kind of boots did you get?"

"I think the salesman called them duck shoes," Bella answered.

"Are they boots or shoes?" Edward asked.

"Well, they're kind of a shoe, I guess. They stop right above my ankle."

"You need real boots in Forks. What size shoe do you wear?"

Edward noticed that Bella looked slightly uncomfortable by the question. He looked to see if he could guess her shoe size by the size of her shoe, but she had her legs tucked underneath her on the couch.

"I haven't worn them. I'll just take them back and exchange them for a higher boot," Bella said quickly.

"If you'd like to go into town tomorrow, I can take you. I need a new pair of boots myself," Edward said as his mind tried to create opportunities for him to spend time with Bella in different settings.

He watched as her eyes fluttered a gaze over his shoulder, at her father. Then she looked down and nodded.

"Sure."

Renee entered the room quietly and discreetly. She walked over to Edward and when he stood up, she gave him a quick hug.

"Dinner's ready," she said.

Edward turned and looked at Bella, gesturing for her to walk ahead of him.

"I'll be right there," she told him as she sat stationary on the sofa. "I'll join you in a minute after I…straighten up in here."

Edward nodded and followed Renee towards the small dining table. Halfway there, he realized that he'd left his jacket on the chair in the sun porch and when he retreated to the room to retrieve it, he walked in just as Bella stood up. They both looked down at the same time: at her bare feet.

Bella quickly rushed across the room to slip on her shoes but not before Edward had gotten a clear view of the naked pallor of her flesh.

Suddenly the Cannabean prohibition made complete sense; in simply seeing a part of Bella that should have been covered up led, Edward couldn't stop his mind from contemplating all of the other areas of her body that he was prohibited to see.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what? I didn't notice anything," Edward shrugged.

Bella smiled as she walked past Edward and over to the dining table where her parents were waiting.

During the course of the meal, Edward sat next to Bella and spoke to Charlie about current events and the new parking lot the church was considering. They exchanged opinions and ideas, and though he wasn't obvious about it, Edward remained attentive of Bella the entire time.

When she had finished eating, Edward noticed that Bella sat with her hands griping the edge of her chair, and he wondered if it was out of nervousness over what had happened on the sun porch.

Casually, without pausing his conversation and drawing Charlie's attention to what he was doing, Edward shifted slightly in his seat and rested his hand in his lap. Then, ever so slightly, he moved his hand to rest on his chair beside his thigh, so that it just barely came into contact with hers.

Out of the corner of his eye, Edward looked to see if Bella understood the gesture. When he noticed her bite her lip to avoid smiling, he knew that she had.

They had both broken a rule. They were even.


	9. Chapter 8 A Cannabean Woman's State of

**A Cannabean Woman's State of Dress. **_The code of ethics each Cannabean woman adheres to regarding dress. Most Cannabean women grow up understanding what is expected of them by way of grooming and dress, however, certain seasons of life may dictate a stricter adherence to dress code (such as during courtship, when a woman must be consistently mindful of the heightened state of arousal and desire of the intended man)._

* * *

Bella stood in front of her bedroom window and watched as the rain fell in translucent sheets from the clouds above.

In less than an hour, Edward would arrive to take her into town to exchange her boots. It was an errand she was perfectly capable of completing on her own, but his insistence on taking her told Bella that Edward was as anxious to get to know her as she was to get to know him.

"Bella?" her mother quietly knocked on her door. "Edward is going to be here in a little while. Are you getting ready?"

That little question was a great example of how much the family's life now revolved around the fact that Edward and Bella were courting. Renee wore herself weary trying to stay one step ahead of everything to ensure that Bella always had what she needed when it came time to interact with Edward.

And no area garnered as much attention as Bella's wardrobe.

"What are you wearing?" Renee asked as she entered the room and made a beeline for the closet.

"Well…it's raining, so I thought maybe those gray pants?" Bella asked rather than stated.

Previously, Bella had always dressed for comfort rather than vanity. It was not the focus of Cannabean women to use dress to draw attention to themselves. Quite the contrary; if anything, they used dress to diminish the provocative nature of their curves.

The list of dress code restrictions for Cannabean women was a lengthy one, however if it was all one had known for her entire life, the limitations were of no consequence. For example, as a young girl, Bella had never worn shorts, tank tops or sandals without socks. Sundresses were always worn with a short or long sleeved blouse or cardigan and backless or strapless dresses were virtually a sight unseen. She never saw her mother, or other women close to her wear these items, either, so as Bella grew into a young woman, it was reasonable that she failed to develop a desire for such attire.

However, Bella loved pants and she wore them whenever the occasion allowed. Many of the non-Cannabean women she'd befriended in college had a hard time accepting the concept that she could wear pants – often comparing her belief system to one of Colonial or Puritanical themes.

"It's not like that," Bella had found herself consistently telling them.

Cannabean women simply didn't show an unnecessary amount of skin, and in line with that philosophy, pants often covered _more_ than dresses and smocks, as long as they weren't tight or form fitting.

Nonetheless, since Bella usually visited with Edward on Sunday, she was always wearing her Sunday best when they were together. Therefore, it had never crossed her mind that she'd have to alter her state of casual dress each time she was in his presence. But Bella was quickly learning that courtship had its own dress code and each time she'd met with Edward, she'd learned a different facet of what was and was not acceptable.

"Pants? You can't wear pants." Renee scrunched up her nose and dug through the closet until she found something to her liking. "Here. This is much better." Renee held out a lavender tiered prairie skirt.

"A skirt in this weather? And I'm trying on boots. Don't I need to know what they'll look like with pants?" Bella countered.

"You can't wear pants," Renee stated flatly.

Bella sat down on her bed and looked on as her mother pulled various sweaters and blouses out and tested their compatibility with the skirt. Bella knew she should have been annoyed – a grown woman having to revert to once again being dressed by her "mommy".

But Bella wasn't annoyed. Instead, she recognized that her mother needed this. It was something that made her feel useful. It was one last way she could stay involved in a life that she was quickly loosing grasp of.

"Bella…" Renee began as she kept her eyes on the clothing, "You do understand…don't you…why you can't wear pants?"

Bella shook her head. "Not really, no. Unless it has something to do with looking too casual."

"That's not it," Renee sighed. When her eyes met Bella's, Bella recognized the expression that revealed that Renee was feeling uncomfortable and timid. "Wearing a skirt will remind Edward to treat you like a lady."

The words seemed ill fitted, as Edward had been nothing but a gentleman, thus far. Yet Bella didn't argue. She simply accepted the skirt from her mother, passed on the sweater and selected a long-sleeved t-shirt and a denim jacket.

"You look nice." They were the first words out of Edward's mouth when he arrived forty-five minutes later. Bella couldn't help but notice the smug smile Renee wore at his compliment; as if it were all her doing.

Edward and Bella were quiet for most of the short drive into downtown Forks; Renee sat stoically in the backseat like a silent fixture. But after he'd pulled into the Olympic Sporting Goods parking lot, Edward fidgeted nervously with his keys before he turned to address Bella.

"So…I was thinking about the other day when you were reading that book about my business…" he paused to run his fingers through his rain-dampened hair. "Would you like to come to work with me some time?"

"Really?" Bella was surprised that he'd offered.

"Sure," Edward relaxed under Bella's interested gaze. "Maybe one afternoon you can come down for a bit and then I can take you to lunch?"

"That sounds great," Bella responded.

Edward turned to glance at Renee. "My father sometimes comes down to have lunch with me on Fridays, if that would be okay," he requested, reassuring her that he had no intention of taking Bella anywhere without an escort.

"That sounds great, Edward," Renee smiled at him. Then, once she and Bella had exited the car, she gave Bella an incognito wink, a signal that she very much approved of young Mr. Cullen.

Edward's respectful and soft-spoken nature put Renee at ease in his presence, and she didn't feel it necessary to linger or shadow the young couple. So she hung back, keeping them in her field of vision, but offering them enough distance to get to know one another without hindrance.

"How can I help you?" The salesman asked once the trio had entered the store. He eyed the bag Bella held in her hand, and tried to figure out if she was going to be a profit or loss for his morning.

"Yes, I bought these the other day and I'd like to exchange them for something else," Bella said as she set the bag on the counter.

"Anything wrong with them?" The clerk asked, his chipper demeanor teetering on disappearing.

"Well, no. I just want a different boot," Bella said.

The salesman pulled the economical pair of boots out of the box before accepting the receipt from Bella. He pointed towards the location in the store where the boots were located and asked her if she was looking to stay within the same price range.

"Actually," Edward spoke up for the first time. "Do you sell Bogs boots?"

"Why yes we do!" The salesman perked up at Edward's request. "Usually we only special order those for customers, but since we've had regular requests for them, we've been keeping our more popular sizes in stock." Then turning to Bella, he asked the obvious question, "What size?"

"Seven," Bella answered quietly. She had no idea what the boots were that Edward was talking about, but judging from the salesman's reaction, they were expensive, and she wasn't interested in anything expensive.

"I'm Harold, by the way," the clerk introduced, as if his name was reserved for what he deemed to be high-end customers. "I'm just going to pop in the back and bring out what we've got."

When Harold disappeared through a door marked 'Employees Only', Edward walked away to browse the men's section and Bella took a seat in a nearby available chair. Her eyes scanned the area for her mother and found her in a corner, her eyes vacillating between Bella and a display of walking shoes.

"Ah, here we are," Harold said as he set three boxes before Bella. "Here are all of the styles I have in your size.

Before checking to see what they looked like, Bella looked to see what the price tag on the side of the box read. Two of them were well over $100. She chose to try on the only pair that wasn't.

And they were hideous. The color was a combination of motor oil and pickle juice and the rubber trim that ran the circumference of the shoe made Bella's foot look swollen and plump.

"How do they fit?" Edward asked as he came up behind her.

Bella shook her head. "They're not really comfortable."

Edward reached over to inspect the other two boxes and handed Bella a pair of black boots with a floral panel on each side, only slightly taller than the ones she'd returned. They were lovely. They were also nearly three times the cost.

Bella hesitated a moment before sliding her socked foot into the boot. She didn't even need to stand up know that the fit was perfect. Of course.

"How are they?" Harold asked, eager for a sale.

"They're really nice," Bella said. She took off the boot and opened the last box to inspect what was inside: bright red, patent leather boots. _Definitely not_.

"Would you like me to ring them up for you?" Harold asked. He looked from Edward to Bella, not quite sure whom he should be schmoozing.

Edward looked down at Bella. "Do you want to get them?"

"Uh…" Bella looked down at the boots and then back to Edward. Then she looked over at her mother, who was suddenly nowhere to be found.

"Can you give us a minute to think about it?" Edward asked Harold. Of course he obliged and went back to polishing his glass counter at the front of the store.

"I thought you said you liked them," Edward said as he took a seat next to Bella. "They look really nice on you."

"Yes, they are very nice," Bella emphasized the last word before turning to Edward sheepishly. "They're also _very_ expensive."

Edward picked up the box and inspected the price tag. "This is the going price for boots of this quality. These boots will last you for years."

It looked as if he had nearly convinced her to make the purchase, but then she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Edward. I just can't justify an expense like this. It's too much."

"Just because they're expensive doesn't mean they're indulgent. You need a good pair of boots and a good pair of boots costs a bit more," Edward rested his arm atop the back of Bella's chair. "I want you to have them," he said quietly.

"I _can't_," Bella stressed, her cheeks ruddy with embarrassment as her eyes met his. "I can't afford them."

Edward reared back and looked upon Bella incredulously. "You thought I was going to make _you_ pay for these?"

"Oh, Edward, no. I couldn't…it's too much," Bella said. She flinched at her voice. Her words made her sound as if she wanted him to convince her to accept the boots, but that isn't what she wanted at all. She wanted to leave the store with the same boots she'd originally purchased for a fraction of the cost. But the determined look on Edward's face told her that wasn't going to happen.

Bella looked at the price tag again. "Will you at least let me put the money I paid for the other ones toward the purchase of these?"

"If that's what you'd like," Edward told her.

And so, moments later, they exited the store, Edward holding a wallet that was more than $100 lighter, and Bella holding the most expensive pair of footwear she'd ever owned.

Edward took a different route on the way home, and as they drove, he pointed out different scenic highlights.

"I drive this way nearly every day and I just noticed that house over there," Edward pointed to a sprawling green-roofed home flanked by a dense Washington forest.

"It looks like a newer home," Bella said as she watched the home pass by her window. "Has it been there long?"

"I think just under two years," Edward said.

"Well it's certainly beautiful…A lot of house, though," Bella added. "Is it a big family that lives there?"

"I think it's vacant. No one has ever lived in it," Edward cast a sideways glance at Bella.

"Oh. That's too bad. It's too lovely to just sit there empty," Bella said.

"Yeah."

Edward didn't say anything more on the subject, and neither did Bella. Instead, she stared down at the bag that housed her boots and tried not to focus on how uncomfortable they made her feel.

When Edward had safely transported them home, Bella handed the bag to her mother while she stood on the porch and said her goodbyes to Edward.

"Thank you for the boots," Bella said with gratitude.

"You're welcome," Edward smiled. Bella had to divert her eyes from that smile, lest he see the effect it was having on her.

"So…Sunday," Edward began, "my family is looking forward to spending the day with you."

"Your family?" Bella asked. Up until that point, she'd only spent time with Edward and his parents. She'd never met any of his brothers and she was desperate in her hopes to see Alice again.

"My mother has invited everyone for Sunday brunch, and afterwards everyone prunes back the vines in preparation of the growing season. It's a family tradition," Edward said.

"Will you show me how to prune vines? I have no idea," Bella said with trepidation.

"Actually…I'm not going to be there," Edward stated quickly.

"You're not?" Bella was confused. _Where was he going to be?_

"I'll be there for brunch, but afterwards I have to tend to something for my father," Edward said vaguely. "But don't worry. No _real_ pruning goes on. It's just a sentimental little clipping my mother has had us do since we were kids. No one expects professional work. Even my brother's kids do it."

"Will I need a change of clothes on Sunday, or will my church clothes be okay?" Bella wondered.

"You'll probably want to change," Edward told her. "The vines might be damp."

Bella remembered her mother's words from earlier. But surely she wouldn't be expected to prune grapevines in a dress.

"What should I bring to change into?" Bella asked.

"Anything you want," Edward told her.

"Really? Pants are okay?"

"Pants are fine. Now relax," Edward said.

Bella pondered the positive aspects of spending time with Edward's family. "Well, at least I'll get to see Alice again. I feel like I haven't seen or spoken to her in forever."

"Oh, Alice won't be there," Edward stated quickly.

"She won't?" Bella frowned. "Is everything okay with her? Is she sick?"

"Alice is fine…theoretically," Edward murmured the last word. "But don't worry about anything. You'll have a great time, I'm sure of it."

Just the way he'd said that made Bella excited about the notion of spending time with the Cullens. She couldn't wait to meet Edward's brothers and find out a little bit more about Edward in the process. Though he seemed nice…and beautiful, there was a mysterious air about him and an undercurrent of something Bella couldn't quite identify.

On Sunday, the forecast was clear and eerily warm as Bella accompanied Edward to his parents' home. And just as he'd promised, Bella finally got to experience the entire Cullen clan, minus Alice and her husband Jasper, as they sat around the vast dining room table and shared a meal. With delicate grace, Edward introduced Bella to his brother Emmett and his wife Rosalie, and their three children.

The two girls, Emma and Abigail, or Abby as she preferred to be called, took an immediate interest in Bella's hair, comparing it to Aunt Alice's.

"Hers is dark like yours, but yours is a lot longer," Emma said.

"My daddy said I can't cut my hair," Abby stated in her four-year-old voice.

"No, you shouldn't cut it. It's very pretty," Bella agreed.

She then noticed that the girls' brother, Elijah, was eyeing her suspiciously and it immediately made Bella uncomfortable.

"Why are you here?" he wanted to know.

"Elijah," Rosalie said, cutting his interrogation short. "Manners."

"Bella is a guest of your Uncle Edward's … and she's come to meet you all. Please be on your best behavior," Esme said. She gave Elijah a pointed look as she uttered the last line.

Bella noticed that while everyone was extremely cordial to her, no one struck up an actual conversation and each time anyone said anything at all, they'd look to Edward first. Bella found the entire interaction a bit odd. So when Edward kept his word and left her alone with his family after brunch, Bella didn't quite know what to do. How she longed for Alice.

Esme stood up instructed everyone to go outside and grab a pair of shears in preparation of the pruning party.

"Oh, honey, get Elijah," Esme instructed her oldest son, Emmett. "He's going to cut himself with those. Give him the dull ones." Then, without missing a beat, she whirled around to face Bella.

"You can change in the guest bathroom down the hall if you'd like," she said.

When Bella emerged minutes later bedecked in a pair of jeans and a square-necked, white eyelet peasant top, she tiptoed down the hall to gain a peek at what the other women were wearing.

Esme was the first person Bella spotted. She was still wearing her skirt, but had traded her low heels for a pair of garden clogs. Bella was about to rethink her outfit until she saw Rosalie. A sense of relief washed over her when Bella saw that Rosalie had changed into calf-length yoga pants and a pair of track shoes.

But when all eyes turned to stare at her when she walked out onto the patio, Bella became self-conscious again.

"You might want to roll your pants up," Rosalie pointed to the ends of Bella's jeans. "Otherwise they'll drag in the mud and you'll never get the stain out."

"Oh, thanks." Bella leaned over and placed low cuffs in her jeans, careful not to fold them too high. She was surprised when Rosalie dropped to her knees and began rolling up Bella's other pant leg.

"No problem. Unfortunately, I learned from experience," Rosalie laughed. "The first time I came to one of these, I was wearing a pair of gray wool slacks. They were completely ruined before I'd even pruned my first vine."

Bella looked down at the white top. "I picked white because I figured I could use bleach if I got anything on it. Am I going to get terribly messy?"

"Not at all. As long as you don't go running through the rows after the children, you should be fine," Rosalie said.

The two women fell into step alongside one another as they trailed the rest of the family to the vineyard.

As they walked, they passed a beautiful yellow birch tree with a rather large and ornamental C + E carved into the trunk. On the other side, there was a less fancy E + R.

"It's the Cullen family Sweetheart Tree," Rosalie said when she saw Bella staring.

"What a nice idea," an awestruck Bella said as she walked around the tree to inspect it closer.

Instead of a carving that represented Alice and Jasper, she found a large flat area that looked like someone had peeled the bark from the tree and rubbed it smooth with sandpaper.

"Where are Alice and Jasper's initials?" Bella questioned.

"Oh…" Rosalie stalled. "I guess they didn't get that far."

Rosalie made an abrupt departure and Bella hastened to catch up with her. Once she did so, Bella grew uncomfortable under the silence and rushed to fill the emptiness.

"How are you feeling?" she asked. "Edward said you were expecting."

"Yes," Rosalie beamed at the opportunity to talk about her unborn. "Someone told me that it gets easier each time. They lied."

"Really? It's difficult, then?"

"I'm just really tired…and the morning sickness is the worst I've ever had."

"Are you able to get plenty of rest?"

Rosalie guffawed. "With three kids and a husband underfoot? Hardly."

"Well if I could ever do anything to help, just let me know. Maybe I can come over in the afternoons and watch the children while you take a nap or something," Bella offered.

Rosalie looked as if someone had just presented her with the answer to the purpose of life. "That sounds wonderful," she smiled. "I just might take you up on that."

It didn't take long at all for Bella to realize that there was more talking than pruning that went on in the Cullen's fields, but she was having a delightful time as she got to know Rosalie and her family. So delightful, in fact, that she was outside a full hour before she realized that an additional person had joined in on the festivities – and at that moment, he was headed her way.

"Bella?"

She looked over to see a tall man with a slender build standing a few feet away from her. His blond hair corkscrewed haphazardly atop his head and his wild, fiery blue eyes were both menacing and inviting.

"Yes?" Bella responded. She'd seen him before and close up the resemblance was unquestionable. This was Edward's other brother.

"Hi. I'm Jasper." He slightly bowed in her direction.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Bella greeted him warmly. "Although I feel like I already know you; Alice talked about you all the time when we worked together in the nursery."

Bella dropped her pruning shears on the ground but when she leaned down to get them, Jasper beat her to it. He handed them to her before stepping back a few inches.

"Lies. All lies," he said.

"Oh, she only had good things to say," Bella assured him.

"Like I said, lies, all lies," he reiterated with a grin. Then he watched as Bella looked over his shoulder and began to scout the area. "She isn't here," he added.

"Alice didn't come?"

"She couldn't. But she told me to tell you hello and that she's sorry she couldn't make it today."

"Well I'm sorry, too." Bella said empathetically. "I was really looking forward to spending time with her again."

Bella looked at Jasper as she awaited his response. Perhaps he would tell her what exactly was wrong with Alice and why she seemed to be the only one missing from family events.

Instead, the warm, inviting glow in Jasper's eyes disappeared and was replaced by a look of determined apathy. Before Bella could wonder at the cause of the change in his demeanor, she felt, rather than heard, someone standing directly behind her.

"Hello, Edward," Jasper said in an impassive tone.

"Jasper," Edward returned without making eye contact.

Bella watched Edward curiously. The pace of his breathing and the set of his jaw revealed that he was extremely agitated.

"Can I talk to you for a minute," Edward asked Bella.

"Of course." Bella assumed that whatever it was had to be important because despite the fact that Edward was surrounded by his entire family, he grabbed Bella by the hand and led her far enough away from everyone else that the two of them wouldn't be heard.

"Edward, is everything okay?" Bella asked as she slid her hand out of his grip.

Edward's eyes traveled from Bella's face, to her chest, and then back to her face before he thrust a blue hooded sweatshirt in her direction.

"What's this for?" Bella asked as she inspected the jacket. It was much too large for her to actually wear.

"Can you put it on, please?" Edward asked.

"But it's really warm out here," Bella countered. "And I know you said that they'd go easy on me, but I've actually really pruned-"

"Put the jacket on. Please, Bella."

The use of the pleasantry was merely an affront. Edward was not really giving Bella a choice as he continued to hold the jacket out to her. Quickly she slipped it on.

"Is something wrong with my shirt?" Bella asked as she zipped the jacket up as high as it would go.

Carlisle marched over to the couple at that moment, and Edward forewent answering Bella's question.

"Everything all right?" he asked as he smiled at Bella before locking his gaze on Edward.

"Yes. Actually, do you mind driving Bella home so she can get cleaned up before tonight's service?" Edward asked his father.

Carlisle wasn't the only one who looked taken aback at the request.

_He wants me to go home? And he doesn't want to drive me? Why? What did I do?_

Of course Bella didn't bother asking Carlisle or Edward those questions, for she wasn't sure she really wanted to know the answer.

It was all she could do to wait until she was behind the closed door of her bedroom to give herself over to the feelings of frustration and uncertainty.

As she collapsed onto her bed, she fell onto the box of boots that her mother had obviously placed in the center of her bed.

_The boots…the jacket… _

Suddenly Edward didn't seem so nice anymore. He seemed brash, pushy and unrelenting.

"And mean!" Bella added to the empty room as she recalled the way he'd looked at her when he'd all but ordered her to put on the jacket.

In a moment of all-consuming emotion, Bella grabbed the box of boots off the bed and threw them on the floor. The jacket followed soon after.

"Bella?" Renee cracked open Bella's bedroom door and poked her head inside. She'd heard the boots hit the floor and came to inspect where the noise had come from. "What's going on in here?"

"I don't want those boots!" Bella raised her voice.

Renee quickly looked over her shoulder to make sure Charlie hadn't heard, before entering Bella's bedroom and shutting the door.

"What do you mean you don't want the boots? Those are nice boots," Renee said.

"They're ridiculous boots." Bella crossed her arms over her chest like a petulant child. "Really, Mom. Who spends that kind of money on boots?"

"Lots of people do," Renee said as she came and sat down next to Bella on her bed. She looked at the box that had been tipped over on the floor as she reached down to pick up one of the boots. As she held it up, she started to laugh.

"These boots remind me of a jacket your father bought me right before we were married," she began. "It was the most hideous thing I'd ever seen. It had humongous shoulder pads and there were giant gold tassels on each shoulder…I looked like a drum major in a marching band."

"That sounds horrible," Bella said, but refused to laugh. She wasn't in the mood.

"Oh it was," her mother agreed. "But it was also a very warm jacket…and it cost more than the thin windbreaker I'd had my eye on."

Bella sensed that her mother was at the part of the story where she'd explain how special it was for a wife to want to wear something her husband wanted to see her in. She fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"But then my mother told me that your dad had bought that jacket as much for himself as he'd bought it for me," Renee said.

"Let me guess, because he liked the way you looked in it?" Bella surmised.

"No. It was because it was something that I couldn't get for myself and he wanted to make sure I had what I needed. And because he liked the way buying me something made _him_ feel." Renee turned and ran her hand down the length of Bella's hair. "God made men very different from us, honey. And as you and Edward get closer to one another, you're going to really see the truth in that statement.

"Edward is wired to want to provide for you; to protect you; to be needed by you. And today, when he purchased those boots, he was doing it because he cares and because he _can._"

And in that instant, as soon as her mother had uttered the last word of her sentence, Bella felt like the most ungrateful, unworthy, self-centered woman on the planet.

The sadness that had gripped her for the latter half of the day finally reached its boiling point and the tears spilled forth effortlessly and endlessly.

Renee sat with her daughter until the tears tapered off. Then she quietly got up, kissed Bella on the forehead, and left Bella to regroup before she was to see Edward again at the evening service.

Bella stared at her reflection in the mirror that doubled as her closet door. She took in her puffy eyes and crimson-tipped nose and realized that she very much looked like the child she'd been behaving like.

She looked down at her white top she still wore and then at the boot that was still strewn across the floor. She didn't know Edward's reason for insisting so strongly that she wear the jacket, but she now knew that he at least deserved the benefit of the doubt. He had earned nothing less.

With a heavy heart and grieved spirit, Bella bent over to retrieve the boots and place them back in their box. As she did so, she happened to glance at herself in the mirror once again. And that's when the enlightenment struck.

The mystery of why Edward had been so adamant about the jacket had been solved.

Reflecting back through the mirror at her was her own bent over form, with the neckline of her shirt draping down to show her breasts in all of their bra-clad glory.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to shout. But she certainly didn't want to face Edward again knowing what he, and quite possibly the rest of his family, had seen.


	10. Chapter 9 Kinship Recognition

**Kinship Recognition. **_During the introductory phase of a courtship, the groom encourages frequent interactions between his impending bride and his family outside of his presence. Not only does this prepare the bride to take on the groom's family once they are wed, it also allows the impending bride the chance to learn about her intended from those who know him best._

* * *

Edward's heart soared as he watched Bella interact with his family over Sunday brunch. Though Emmett wasn't his usual joking, jovial self, Edward could tell that the modest beauty that sat at his side intrigued his oldest brother.

Bella had also captured the attention of the children, who weren't used to seeing new faces at their grandparents' dining table. Edward's nieces were fawning over Bella like she was their own life-sized doll, and Bella simply sat there and entertained them like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Edward appreciated how different they were in that area. While Edward enjoyed his nieces…and on rare occasions, his nephew, his interactions with them could be construed as awkward and clumsy. Interacting with children was definitely not one of Edward's innate characteristics. When his nephew rather caustically asked Bella why she was present, Edward felt his blood pressure rise as his heartbeat accelerated in his chest. It was so early in their courtship that actually putting a label on what they were to one another was awkward. The adults present understood, but how do you explain the process of courting to four- and five-year-olds?

Thankfully, Rosalie shushed her child before Edward had to go there. Out of the corner of his eye, Edward spied that Bella looked relieved at the interruption as well. Even still, Edward was curious to know if and how Bella would have answered if given the chance.

After lunch, Esme made her traditional announcement and the children excitedly moved toward the patio doors to be the first to grab a pair of pruning shears. Edward said a few parting words to Bella before he left her in the care of his family.

As Edward climbed the stairs of his parents' home, he heard the footfalls of someone behind him and he didn't even have to turn around to know that it was his father. He continued to the second floor landing before automatically venturing into his father's office.

Carlisle joined him there and closed the door behind him.

"I spoke to Dudley. He said if you bring the books by this afternoon, he can have them ready for you before closing on Friday," Carlisle said.

Edward nodded. "Good."

"You know, Edward," Carlisle began, "it would really be beneficial to Bella if she didn't have to wait another week to get her book. She probably has a lot of questions-"

"I told her if she had any questions she could ask me," Edward said.

"But does she even know what to ask you? And what if she doesn't feel comfortable asking you?" countered Carlisle.

"Well that's part of the process. She'll learn to be comfortable with me," Edward said. "I can already see a difference in her from the first day we spent time together."

"Edward, I don't think you're being very fair," Carlisle expressed.

Edward fought the urge to allow his agitation to be shown. "Dad, how is it that you think I'm mature and responsible enough to enter into this type of relationship, yet I'm not mature and responsible enough to handle it as I see fit?"

"I don't think of you as irresponsible, Edward. I just think you're making things harder for yourself and for Bella," Carlisle said. "I'm just trying to help."

"And I appreciate it, I do. But I'd like to go the traditional Cannabean route and you keep encouraging me to do otherwise."

"I just think that things would be a lot less…tense if you relaxed a little bit."

"I tried that before, Dad. And look where that landed me."

"Edward, that was a completely different situation-"

"Dad, I'm sorry. I have to get going. I don't know how long this is going to take and I need to make sure I'm back in time for evening services."

Carlisle nodded his concession and moved aside so that Edward could leave the room, the betrothal books tucked safely under his arm.

As he drove to a neighboring town, Edward tuned his radio to a classical music station in an effort to calm his nerves. He knew his father meant well, but why couldn't he just admit a difference of doctrinal interpretation and call it even? Why was he always trying to correct the path that Edward was trying to take? And it wasn't even a wrong path – it was just a different path. A different path that many great Cannabean men before Edward had successfully navigated.

To clear his mind and focus on something else, Edward let his mind wander to Bella and how he'd invited her to spend the afternoon at work with him. Edward made a mental note to make sure he didn't have any meetings scheduled on Friday so that he'd be free to show her around before taking her to lunch.

He wondered what they'd talk about, and as that concept wafted through his thoughts, he began to plan conversation snippets to ward off awkward moments.

"We haven't talked about favorites yet. I can ask her favorite holiday…animal…place she'd most like to visit…" Edward prattled out loud.

At a rare red light along the way, Edward reached over to retrieve the business card for his destination out of his wallet and realized that he'd left it in his other jacket.

"Dang it!" he shouted as his fist thumped lightly against the steering wheel. It was exasperating to know that he'd have to drive all the way back home and then return to town again. There would be barely any time to spend with Bella before the evening service, and since her parents usually left promptly after the service ended, there wouldn't be any opportunity to visit with her afterwards.

Having driven just fast enough to avoid a speeding ticket, Edward made it home in record time. The house was eerily quiet as he hurried inside to find the jacket that housed his wallet and identification.

Edward spotted his blue hooded sweatshirt draped over the back of one of the barstools in the kitchen. He immediately remembered donning it earlier in the morning as he'd quickly ran to get gas. Even as he crossed the room to get it, he noticed the outline of his wallet in the jacket's shallow pocket. He also noticed how messy the dining room table still was. He figured his mom would probably have Bella and Rosalie help her straighten everything up before he took Bella home. Yet another reason why he needed to hurry to town and back.

The large glass doors before him begged for Edward's attention, and as he passed by them, his eyes immediately searched for Bella amidst his family.

He saw Emmett's children mutilating a vine closer to the front of the lot and deduced that it was probably one they were going to uproot due to disease. To the right, Rosalie was standing with Emmett and they were staring off into the distance; apparently they didn't find it necessary to monitor their children with the cutting devices.

Edward's eyes glanced to the left and saw his parents frozen in a similar state as Rosalie and Emmett. _What were they watching? And where was Bella?_

Edward stepped out onto the patio and searched for where Bella could be.

And then he found her.

A sensation of heat cascaded from the tips of Edward's hair follicles; he swallowed thickly as the fire coursed down his neck and back. His fists clenched and unclenched in tune with his jaw.

"What the _hell_?" he words escaped his mouth is quiet fury.

She was talking to Jasper.

Or, rather, Jasper was talking to her.

Before Edward could get his feet to move faster than his mind, he saw Bella drop something and reach down to pick it up. And even from his distance he could see her delicate undergarment wrapped across her … He could see her _breasts!_

And so could Jasper. And so _did_ Jasper.

"That son of a …"

Edward's hand crushed the fabric of the blue sweatshirt; so tightly he held it as he sprinted across the land towards Bella and Jasper.

As he neared them, he slowed to a fast walk, in an attempt not to scare Bella or make a scene in front of her.

However, as soon as he got close enough for Jasper to see him, Jasper tossed Edward a smug grin and it set Edward's rage off once again.

"Hello, Edward," Jasper greeted with over-exaggerated politeness.

It was Edward's first inclination to ignore Jasper, but Bella was looking at him in such a quandary and he didn't want to fuel her curiosity as to what was going on.

"Jasper," he managed in a strained tone. He attempted to regulate his breathing by taking short, shallow breaths before turning to Bella.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

Edward felt pained by the fearful look on Bella's face. He knew she had no idea what was going on, but she obliged him anyway and allowed him to lead her away from Jasper, and unbeknownst to her, a possible altercation.

As Edward pulled Bella across the lawn by her hand, he felt that he couldn't get her far enough away fast enough.

"Edward is everything okay?"

Edward hated that he'd caused that frantic look in Bella's eyes. He was scaring her; and despite the knowledge of that, he couldn't rein his anger in fast enough to calm her. Instead, he just held out the jacket to her, willing her to put it on.

"What's this for?" she asked.

Edward's eyes betrayed him, and he momentarily glanced down at Bella's chest. _What's it for? It's so that no more opportunists get a glance at your…_

"Can you just put it on please?" he stressed.

Bella looked around at her surroundings, as if double-checking to see that he was experiencing the same weather conditions as she was. And just in case a visual wasn't enough, she told him that it was warm – that _she_ was warm.

She truly had no idea what had just happened, and Edward didn't want to be the one to tell her. She'd be too embarrassed.

"Put the jacket on," and then realizing how harsh he sounded, Edward added, "Please, Bella."

Bella heard the seriousness in his tone then, and she grabbed the jacket and put it on, all the while throwing inquisitive glances in his direction.

"Is something wrong with my shirt?" she asked Edward quietly. He heard the pleading question she hadn't asked: _What did I do?_

He was about to tell her that he'd talk to her about it later, to put her mind at ease and tell her that she was fine, but then he saw his father approach. The anger once again engulfed him, and Edward said nothing.

"Everything alright?" Carlisle asked.

Bella seemed anxious to say that it was – as if that would deem everything to be fine.

"Yes," Edward spoke up. "Actually, do you mind driving Bella home so she can get cleaned up before tonight's service?" Despite his words, the stare Edward gave his father indicated that things were anything _but_ fine.

Carlisle tried to conceal the questioning expression on his face, and Edward let his father think that he had succeeded in camouflaging it, for Edward did not acknowledge him. Alternatively, he offered Bella a hurried goodbye and waited while his father led her away, toward the house.

When they were far enough away, Edward turned and searched for the source of his contempt. His eyes spotted Jasper standing off to the side of the children, watching but not interacting with them. He still wore that smug smile with its dart-like precision that hit the center in Edward's bulls-eye of rage everytime.

Suddenly, the only thing that was clear in Edward's mind was Jasper and the path it took to get to him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Edward asked vehemently as he closed in on his older brother.

"Well, well, well," Jasper swaggered toward Edward. "He speaks."

Edward slowed his approach and looked at his brother, awe-struck by his audacity. "You're _drunk?_" He asked.

"Hey, you're not the only hard-working guy in the family," Jasper defended his actions. His well-worn excuse was that as a part owner in the family's vineyard, it was his duty to sample the product to make sure it was nothing less than perfection. Oftentimes his _sampling_ occurred in the basement of his home on Friday and Saturday evenings.

Edward ignored Jasper's attempt to goad him into an argument about the family business, and instead stated the obvious. "You know you're not supposed to be here."

"According to who?" Jasper asked belligerently. "Despite your efforts, I _am_ still a part of this family."

"If memory serves correctly, I'd say it was your efforts that caused your problems, not mine," Edward told him caustically.

Jasper smirked at Edward. "It's about time you moved on." He allowed his eyes to glance in the direction of where Bella had just exited with Carlisle. "She's nice."

The smugness Jasper displayed as he spoke about Bella, as if he knew her, incensed Edward.

"You weren't invited for a reason, Jasper. You and Alice need to stay away from Bella." Edward told him venomously.

"You know what? I'm sick of this. Alice and I didn't do anything wrong. And the rest of the family can pussyfoot around you like you're made out of glass, but I'm done catering to you! Jasper narrowed his eyes as he invaded Edward's space. "You don't want me around? Fine. I don't give a shit. But Alice…she doesn't deserve what you're putting her through. And I'm done sitting by, day after day, doing nothing, while you make her life a living hell."

"I'm done debating this with you, Jasper," Edward said. "It's always the same rhetoric with you. A jumble of words of your own making. And that hell Alice lives in? It's called guilt and it's all her own doing." Edward turned and began to walk away.

"Coward!" Jasper called after him. "You walk away because you know I'm right! You've been walking away from me for the past three years because you can't even defend yourself. Come back here and defend yourself like a man!"

Edward frowned as he turned and looked upon his brother – a man he used to admire, used to try desperately to emulate. But before him stood the broken remains of a man who once was.

"You're pathetic," Edward told him as he backed away. It wasn't worth the breath he would expend to further insult Jasper. He probably wouldn't even remember the exchange in the morning. " And this is the last time I'm telling you _and Alice _this: stay away from Bella."

Edward began walking toward the house. He had only gotten a few feet when he heard thundering footsteps that sounded like stampeding elephants. Suddenly a great weight landed on him from behind seconds before he was tackled to the ground.

And then he was weightless again.

Edward turned over quickly to see Emmett restraining a rather red-faced and furious Jasper.

"Boys!" Esme came running toward her sons. "What has gotten into you two?" Esme looked between Edward and Jasper. "And in front of the _children_?"

Edward sat up and dusted himself off, all the while shooting deadly looks in Jasper's direction. "It's not what's gotten into _us_. It's what's gotten in to _him._ He's not even supposed to be here."

"Let go of me!" Jasper slurred as he wrestled against Emmett, to no avail. "Let me go!"

"Jasper, honey, maybe you should go on home now," Esme spoke peaceably to her son.

At the sound of his mother's voice, Jasper mellowed out momentarily before breaking down completely.

Edward stared uncomfortably at the sight before him: Emmett's strong grip on Jasper had him slightly lifted off the ground; his midriff revealed as his sweater bunched up under the strength of Emmett's hands.

"I've had it, Ma," Jasper said quietly to his mother. "You said to try. But Alice is…I can't do this to her…I _won't._"

At the utterance of his last words, Jasper's anger was revitalized and he began to kick and squirm against Emmett.

However, Edward paid him no attention. Rather, he turned to his mother, flabbergasted at what he'd just heard. "You told him to try? Try what?" Edward asked his mother.

Esme looked startled as Edward confronted her. "It was your father's idea," she said quickly. "He thought maybe if Jasper came…without Alice, that you would-"

"So wait," Edward held up his hand to interrupt the conversation. The squint of his eyes a mask for a man who was deep in thought or contemplation. "So, despite what you and Dad told me, you told Jasper to come here today. Even though you _knew_ I didn't want him here?"

"No, Edward, it wasn't like that," Esme attempted to reason.

"Then what was it like?" Edward asked as his voice slightly elevated.

"Hey!" Jasper spit on himself as he spoke. "Don't you talk to Ma like that!"

Jasper returned to fighting hard against Emmett for his freedom. When he succeeded in kicking Emmett square in the shin, Emmett turned and addressed Edward directly.

"Edward, man, just go," he said.

Edward felt betrayed as he looked over his shoulder before finally retiring to the house. The looks on his family's faces were different shades of the same color of loss and despair. It was exactly the same expression they'd all worn that fateful day three years before.

The contrasting emotions that Edward felt as he climbed the stairs toward his bedroom were hard to decipher. The anger that he felt at his brother's blatant disregard for Edward's boundaries conflicted with the bewilderment of seeing such a broken man. And the confusion and distrust Edward felt for his parents paled in comparison to the hurt he felt at their betrayal.

After all of the conversations…the promises…It was hard for Edward to wrap his mind around the fact that in spite of knowing how Edward felt, in spite of knowing the background of the entire situation and in spite of saying they'd honor Edward's request, they had still conspired to have Jasper present today.

As Edward entered his bedroom, he stood in the doorway and looked at his four walls as if he'd never seen them before.

And then he was suddenly able to articulate exactly how he felt, not only about the events of the day, but about how he'd been seen, received and treated these past three years.

He felt unaccepted.

Edward paced back and forth as he attempted to come to terms with how he would proceed, finally realizing, and accepting the fact that he was an outsider in his own family. He took a seat on his too-small bed and shifted uncomfortably as the mattress sunk under his weight.

He'd outgrown the bed.

Edward looked around at the walls surrounding him. The calendar of the Seven Wonders of the World that hung by a thumbtack on the wall, the tweed jacket atop his dresser that he'd been meaning to drop off at the thrift store, the encyclopedias on the bottom row of his bookshelf that predated the Internet. Edward had outgrown it all.

He'd outgrown this room, this place, this _house._ No man should be made to feel like a foreigner in his own home.

And with the feelings of misunderstanding, nonacceptance and betrayal, a home is exactly what this place ceased to be.

Another hour passed before Edward heard a soft knocking at his door. He knew it was his father before he even answered.

Edward bid him entrance and Carlisle peeked in, obviously assessing Edward's mood.

"Bella got home well," Carlisle stated slowly.

"That's good," Edward said. He kept his eyes fixed on the calendar that he now wondered why he ever hung.

"She seemed a little frazzled," Carlisle went on.

"Is she alright?" There was a swift moment where Edward let his guard drop. He glanced over at his father to gauge his expression while he spoke of Bella.

"She's fine. She was pretty quiet the entire way home. She seemed pretty upset."

Edward ran his fingers through his hair in anguish at the notion of Bella being nonplussed.

"Edward," Carlisle broached as if he was in the presence of a ticking time bomb. "Maybe it's time that you told her-"

"No!" Edward stood up abruptly. It wasn't his intention to speak so disrespectfully to his father, but to say that he was tired of making this argument was the understatement of the century.

"Look at the problems it's causing, Edward," Carlisle reasoned.

"What problems? The only problems I see are the ones caused by you and Mom deciding what's best for me, instead of letting me make my own decisions," Edward stated. "Really, Dad? Did you really think it was a good idea to have Jasper come over even though I'd asked you not to?"

"I didn't tell Jasper to come here while Bella was here, and I certainly didn't tell him to come intoxicated," Carlisle defended himself. "When I asked him not to come for Sunday brunch, he was very upset, Edward. I told you that he feels that we are being very unfair to he and Alice. When he stated as much, I merely suggested that he talk to you about it. I never invited him to show up here today. It was completely a misunderstanding on his part."

Edward was silent for a long while. It may have seemed as though he was ingesting what his father had said, but in reality, he was only mulling over the proper way to tell his father of a decision he'd made on his own. He finally decided on the direct approach.

"I think it's time that I move out," he said.

"Edward, in due time," Carlisle nodded. "There's no rush. By the time you build your house, things will be more settled with Bella and-"

"I'm not building," Edward stated flatly. "I'm going to buy that house I told you about."

"Edward, you can't mean that," Carlisle's voice lacked its usual vigor.

"Dad, today shouldn't have happened," Edward shook his head to emphasize his point. "I should have been able to have Bella come here without fear of her interacting with Jasper and Alice. But just as I feel justified in making that request, Jasper feels justified in his right to come and go around here as he pleases. We both feel a sense of entitlement and someone's going to have to back down. And it's going to be me…again."

"Edward, you've got to stop making this into something it's not," Carlisle urged. "And you also need to step outside yourself long enough to see how your actions and decisions affect those around you. If you won't consider Jasper and Alice, look at Bella.

"I know you well, Edward, and even I had a hard time discerning your attitude this afternoon. I think you scared poor Bella half to death when you dragged her away from the rest of the family and then all but ordered me to drive her home. You acted like you were banishing her for some wrong deed."

"I wasn't angry with Bella," Edward stated the obvious.

"Yes, but did she know that?" Carlisle asked.

"Of course."

"And how would she know that? What evidence have you given her?" Carlisle felt as if he was making headway in his argument with Edward, so he harped on relentlessly. "I don't think you see yourself clearly, Edward. You expect people to come to conclusions that they couldn't possibly come to unless they could read your mind. And unless you want an uphill battle in your relationship, and marriage, you'll learn to communicate better."

Edward seethed in silence as his father spoke. How clear had be been earlier when he'd told his dad to keep Jasper away, only to find out that it was his father who suggested Jasper attempt to speak to Edward?

Truly it didn't matter what Edward said. As long as he continued to harbor viewpoints that were different from his father and the rest of the family, Edward was as good as mute.

And to reiterate that stance, Edward didn't utter a word until his father finally gave up and left his room.

The evening Cannabean service was expected to begin shortly in the Cullen basement. For a moment, Edward considered not going, but then he thought about Bella and what his absence might mean to her. Not that he put any stock in his father's assessment, but if Bella was upset by what happened earlier, Edward wanted to be the first to put her mind at ease.

Not that he expected her to be upset. It was quite apparent that Jasper was in no condition to interact with Bella. She'd probably been able to smell the alcohol on his breath. If anyone should be apologizing for anything, it should be Jasper. But that would mean he'd have to interact with her – and that was simply not an option. So, once again, Edward would have to clean up a mess on his brother's behalf.

The idea of approaching Bella and reliving the events of the afternoon in her presence left a bitter taste in Edward's mouth. He'd sooner forget the entire day than watch the shameful disappointment she'd surely feel to know that her future brother-in-law is a vile drunk.

So unattractive was the notion of rehashing the day, that by the time Edward made it to the bathroom to get cleaned up for the evening, he'd all but talked himself out of acknowledging that anything had happened in the first place.

As he stepped underneath the warm shower spray, he imagined that in addition to the wear of the day, the water also washed away every memory of what had transpired.

Well…every memory but one.

Alone in the confines of the shower, Edward allowed his mind to project the image of Bella as she bent over to pick up the pruning shears…the sweeping neckline of her shirt as it dipped down to reveal what lay underneath…

In no time at all, Edward possessed an erection that rivaled Stonehenge in both its upright and rigid dimensions. Fingers propelled by wanton desire ached to fist around his engorged member and thrust, push and force the burning need from his loins.

But as the tips of his fingers grazed the tip of his head, Edward pulled back and denied himself the pleasure, fearful that once he started, he wouldn't be able to stop. Instead, he clutched at the porcelain tile with one hand and groped for the water temperature dial with the other. With a quick twist of the wrist, denied himself the comfort and contentment of the water's warmth. Like small mallets and anvils, the icy water pummeled against his taut length until he hung flaccid and limp against his thigh.

Once out of the shower, Edward felt invigorated by his self-denial and restraint; he felt able to face Bella and put the demons of the day behind him. He wouldn't go there with her, he decided. There was no need.

The music had started once Edward made it downstairs to the basement. As he entered, he noticed that Emmett played an acoustic solo at the front of the room – Jasper was not present to accompany him.

Edward's eyes canvassed the space for Bella when he didn't see her seated next to his parents.

He found her sitting with her parents. She had her head down, her eyes fixed upon her hands in her lap. Immediately Edward felt drawn to her, at ease in her presence.

There were no vacant seats near her, but Edward was content to silently watch her while he contemplated his next move.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed movement and turned to see Bella's father move to a vacant seat in front of where he was previously seated. Renee quickly scooted over and smiled at Edward as she waved him toward the vacant chair. Quickly and quietly he obliged.

Bella didn't look up as he took a seat next to her.

After many failed attempts to catch her eye, Edward finally leaned over as Carlisle walked to the front of the room to begin his sermon.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," Bella whispered in response. The eye contact was fleeting, but she did smile, and her face tinted a slight crimson.

Suddenly the urge to touch her was overwhelming, but again, Edward denied the urge.

Though try as he might to listen to what every other Cannabean in the room was listening to, his father's words, Edward was unable to concentrate on a single syllable. And at the exact second the service ended, Edward turned to Bella.

"How are you?" he asked.

She looked up at him then, the maple hue of her eyes revealing the perplexity of her thoughts. Yet she asked no questions. Instead, she slightly leaned forward and slid a large shopping bag toward Edward. She offered no explanation as she righted herself and waited for him to accept the bag and its contents.

"What's this?" Edward asked.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Bella apologized instead of answer Edward's question.

He leaned over and looked in the bag. He pulled out the blue sweatshirt he'd given her to wear home, and at the bottom of the paper sack he spotted the boots he'd purchased for her.

"What's this about?" Edward frowned. Bella was returning a gift – and that could only mean very few things. Instinctively, he looked over at Charlie to see if he was watching the exchange. Had he instructed Bella to call off the courtship? That seemed very liberal, and something very unlike Charlie to do.

But Charlie was standing with his back facing them, talking to a gentleman that Edward knew to work at the grocery store.

Bella followed his gaze and knew his thoughts immediately.

"I haven't talked to my father about it yet," Bella spoke softly. "But in case you've made a decision…after what happened today, I just want you to know that I understand. And if you'd like me to explain it to my father, I will."

"Explain what?" Edward furrowed his brow.

"Well, I don't know what I did to cause Alice to want nothing to do with me, but after what happened this afternoon, I'm sure she's not the only one who is questioning my character. And I just didn't want you to worry if your family is rethinking your decision to court me. Like I said, I'd understand if you needed to…end things."

"My family?" Edward asked, unable to fully gasp each word Bella was saying.

She nodded quickly. "Edward, I just want you to know that I am truly, and deeply embarrassed about what happened in the vineyard. I didn't realize the shirt was inappropriate until I got home, and by then it was too late to-"

"Bella, what on earth are you talking about?" Edward asked, but by this time, he was smiling. Still not completely sure of her words, he _was _sure that she was under the mistaken impression that she'd done something to cause him to consider calling off the courtship.

"This afternoon…" she trailed off when she saw the kindness in his eyes.

"This afternoon was not a big deal," Edward assured her.

"But your family-"

"My family adores you."

Bella picked at her skirt for a moment. "What about Alice?"

"What about her?"

"Do you know what I did to offend her? Do you know why she's avoiding me?"

Edward had disliked the bond Alice had formed with Bella from the very beginning. He'd hated hearing her incessant chatter about what Bella liked, what she said, what she read. He'd simply hated the idea of Alice _knowing_ Bella in a way that he didn't. In a way that he had yet to.

It had never occurred to Edward that Bella would think that she'd had something to do with Alice's absence from Bella's life. But then again, what other logical conclusion could she come to? One minute Alice was there, and the next minute, she'd disappeared.

Carlisle's words played though Edward's mind like a haunting tune:

_"You expect people to come to conclusions that they couldn't possibly come to unless they could read your mind. And unless you want an uphill battle in your relationship…"_

Edward shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he glanced across the room at his father.

Carlisle looked so stately and gallant as his presence commanded the room.

He looked back at Bella and immediately saw what his self-centered stubbornness almost cost him.

"Bella…there's something I need to talk to you about. Are you free tomorrow?"

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**_Thank you to all of the wonderful authors and readers I admire for reading and recc'ing this story. Also, I know it was a bit of a cliffy, but this chapter is the set up for the "mystery reveal" you've been waiting for. See ya next chapter!_**


	11. Chapter 10 Termination of Courtship

**Termination of Courtship.** _During the early stages of courtship, should the intended's suitor prove to be less than what was originally presented, the father of the intended can move to terminate the courtship. This decision is usually made in the event of financial misrepresentation, dishonesty or lack of moral integrity. _

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"Edward, settle down," Carlisle said in exasperation as he watched his son pace the foyer relentlessly.

"Mom," Edward called as he broke off toward the kitchen, unaware that his father had even spoken. "Instead of eating at the table on the deck, do you think we could do a picnic on the back lawn? You and Dad will still be able to see us from the house…"

"Edward, I think that's a fine idea," Esme tapped his hand in an effort to bestow a little calm upon him. "The weather is nice enough today."

Esme and Carlisle Cullen were trying their very hardest not to undermine the momentous feat that was about to occur at their house that very afternoon. Edward was finally going to let down his guard and let Bella in – even if only a little bit.

It was a side of Edward that they hadn't seen in quite some time, and they had begun to wonder if they would ever see a glimpse of the man who had all but died almost four years ago.

"I didn't even ask her if she likes chicken. I should call and ask her…but I've never talked with her on the phone. I don't want our first phone conversation to be about food," Edward shook his head. "Do you think her parents would object if I called her on the phone? If it's only to ask about lunch they shouldn't mind, should they?"

Esme couldn't help but laugh at his rambling. "Edward. Stop. Chicken will be fine. Everything will be fine. You need to relax."

But Edward took no comfort in his mother's words, for he knew she was simply trying to appease him, but she had no idea if things were going to be fine.

Edward's decision to reveal his past to Bella meant that he was opening himself up to not only possible rejection, but to reliving the reaction he knew he'd never grow accustomed to.

In telling Bella, Edward was drawing a line in the sand. And it was highly probable that Bella would continue to stand on the other side of it.

Edward knew his mother was idealistic and he couldn't fault her for seeing the silver lining in all situations. But he'd expected some semblance of understanding from his father, yet Carlisle seemed just as flustered by Edward's nervousness as his mother did.

Though Edward wasn't quite ready to label his feelings for Bella, he knew that they were quite strong. Just the thought of her no longer being in his life, of losing the possibility of being with her, being _someone_ to her, caused his throat to constrict in despair.

But that is exactly what could happen if Bella found him to be tainted by his past experiences. And there was no doubt in Edward's mind that if Charlie Swan felt that Edward ceased to be the perfect picture that he'd once thought him to be, Charlie wouldn't hesitate to call off the entire arrangement and spare his perfect princess a blemished man.

"Edward, what time did you say you were getting Bella?" Esme's voice pulled Edward out of his mental dungeon.

"Noon," he checked is watch as he spoke and saw that he would need a miracle to be on time. "I'm late!"

"Why don't you have her meet you? You said she likes to drive," Esme suggested.

Edward shook his head adamantly. "I requested this time with her. It wouldn't be right to make her drive over. Besides, she doesn't have a car. I think she shares her parents' car and I'd hate to leave them stranded because I was running late."

Carlisle stood at the edge of the kitchen listening to Edward's explanation of why he simply wouldn't ask Bella to drive herself to the Cullen home. While his words sounded noble, Carlisle was sure there was more beneath them.

"We should probably get going then," Carlisle stated. He had a late afternoon shift at the hospital and he was anxious to get back so that he could have time to mentally prepare for his day.

Edward nodded and dropped his keys as he made his way toward his father. Moments later, as the two men stood in the foyer, Edward dropped his keys again as he fidgeted nervously with his collar. The third time he dropped his keys, Carlisle bent down to retrieve them and refused to hand them back to Edward.

"I'll drive," he stated.

It was Edward's intention to mull over his prepared speech on the way to Bella's house. But his father had other plans. As soon as they exited the Cullen driveway, Edward heard his father's signature throat clearing – a signal that he had a prepared a speech of his own.

"Edward," Carlisle began, "it might have been a good idea to let Bella drive out today."

Edward rested his head against the headrest on the passenger side of his car. "I think that's rude. It would be like –"

"Providing her an exit plan?" Carlisle chuckled.

"What?" Edward did not seem amused. "What do you mean by that?"

"I'm wondering if your desire to drive her has less to do with chivalry and more to do with the fact that she'll have to hear you out in the event that she doesn't like what you have to say."

"That's ridiculous," Edward shook his head unconvincingly. "And if she wants to leave, then I'll take her home."

Edward shifted nervously in his seat as he considered voicing his concerns audibly to his father.

"She could…based on what happened…she could ask her father to end everything," Edward stated quietly.

"I doubt that Bella would do that, and I further doubt that Charlie would comply if Bella asked," Carlisle said evenly.

"You can't know that."

"Oh yes I can."

"How?"

"Because Charlie already knows."

Edward flinched as he robotically turned to face his father. All niceties aside, was he really expected to sit idly by while his father toyed with what could possibly be the most important endeavor of his life?

"I beg your pardon?" Edward asked as he inhaled deeply through his nose.

Carlisle sensed Edward's shift in mood and pulled over onto the shoulder of the nearly deserted road.

"You told Charlie?" the pitch of Edward's voice began to climb. "You had no right to-"

"Edward!" Carlisle rarely raised his voice to his family, but as he abruptly turned to face Edward, it was evident that he meant business. "You are _my_ son, living in _my_ house. Do not presume to tell me what my rights are!"

"Sorry," Edward muttered, but it came out sounding more like the words from an insolent twelve-year-old than a repentant twenty-four-year-old man.

"You do not know more than I do on this subject. Let me state the obvious by saying that you've never had a child, and you have no idea what my responsibilities in this situation are," Carlisle kept his eyes on the dashboard as he spoke.

"You're almost twenty-five, you're moderately successful and you're a good-looking young man. Don't you think Charlie Swan's first question to me was aren't you married?"

"He asked you that?" Edward seemed astounded. "Why didn't he ask me?"

"He asked me before you decided you were interested in Bella. I met him in passing right after he'd moved here and when he found out I was a Cannabean, we struck up an easy conversation. He told me about Bella and in return, I told him about my children. He asked if I had grandchildren and I told him that I had three and that my youngest son wasn't yet married. He was surprised to find out that at twenty-four you hadn't yet settled down, so I told him that you'd come close once."

"And?"

"And I said that it didn't work out. That's it."

"So he doesn't know the details?"

"No, son. That's your story to tell." Carlisle's words held more weight than their obvious meaning. Yes, it was Edward's story to tell, but would he tell it? Aside from what was blaringly obvious, Edward had neglected to give the exact details about what had happened to him. Only one other person knew the exact truth and neither of them had spoken in detail.

Edward anxiously pulled his hands through his hair and squinted as he glanced sideways at his father. "Is there any reason why you're just now telling me this?"

"Because I didn't want you to use it as an excuse not to talk to Bella," Carlisle stated matter of fact. "And if we're being honest with each other right now, Edward, we'd both admit to knowing that your previous betrothal isn't really the issue here."

Though Edward agreed with his father, there was an underlying issue; he knew they didn't exactly agree on what that issue was. Therefore, he dropped the conversation altogether and pondered something his father had said earlier. Regardless of whether Bella knew about his previous close call or not, it _was_ his story to tell.

"We're late," Edward said softly.

Without another word, Carlisle maneuvered the car back onto the road and drove off toward the Swan residence.

The silence that decorated the rest of the drive continued to remain in place even after Bella had joined the Cullen men in the car. After a few pleasantries – _"How are you" _and_ "You look very nice", _Edward and Bella settled into a comfortable quiet, much to Carlisle's chagrin. He made several attempts to strike up a conversation, but both Edward and Bella didn't uphold their part to keep the conversation going – most likely a product of their nervousness.

As soon as they arrived back at the Cullen home, Esme ran out of the house to greet them, a sign that she had been watching for their return.

"You all have perfect timing. Lunch is ready," she said happily as she gave Bella a quick hug. "It's a perfect day for a picnic, don't you think, Bella?"

Bella quickly nodded. "Yes. It's really nice out," she replied of the rare dry weather.

When the elder Cullens didn't follow Bella and Edward out through the patio doors, Edward explained that it would just be she and him, dining alone.

"They can see us through the windows in case you're worried," Edward added in the event that she was wondering.

"I'm not worried," Bella smiled at him as she followed him to a clear area on the back lawn.

Her smile was infectious, and Edward found himself doing the same thing.

They stood awkwardly facing each other for a moment until Edward had the good sense to spread out the blanket he had carried out atop the basket of food.

Their movements continued to lack grace as they passed plates, cutlery and food dishes. Once they had dished out their portions, Edward offered to say grace. Without thinking, they both reached out and clasped one another's hands, a customary gesture during Cannabean prayer.

And then, as if burned by hot water, they each dropped the other's hands.

"Sorry. Habit." Bella laughed as she folded her hands in her lap.

Edward watched her as she sat parallel, facing him from the opposite direction. He coveted the peace he saw in her and briefly wondered if he could ever attain it. Would he ever be free from the demons that haunted him and made him feel like half a man?

When Bella, her head slightly bowed, peered up at him, Edward realized that his ponderings had lasted too long.

He held out his hands to her. "I don't think the rules apply to prayer," he said.

"Really?"

"I'll look it up and if I'm wrong, then we'll know for next time, okay?"

"Alright," Bella agreed.

Tentatively, their fingers slid alongside one another's before softly intertwining together.

Edward's reverent words lightly tumbled from his lips as he as he reveled in the smooth flesh that conformed to his own.

The prayer ended all too soon, sending Edward and Bella's hands to their respective dishes on opposite sides of the blanket.

The noises of nature seemed inappropriately loud as Edward wrestled with how to begin, how to step into his nightmare in the middle of the afternoon.

"Edward," Bella's soft-spoken tone hovered between them. "Is everything alright?"

Edward looked up to see that she had shredded a piece of French bread on her plate. She was nervous, too.

"Bella, I…" Edward started and stopped. "I wanted to talk to you a little more about what happened yesterday."

"Alright," Bella prodded him to continue with a nod of her head.

"Well…I guess I want to talk about something that happened before…what caused yesterday to be so…tense." Edward stole a glance at Bella and saw that she seemed riddled with confusion and anxiety. "Not because of you, of course." He noticed that she visibly relaxed upon hearing his words.

Bella sat stock-still as she waited for Edward to get to the point. Her motionlessness made him even more uneasy, so he suggested the go for a walk.

"Just around the property, " he qualified.

"Sure," Bella agreed as she clambered up to stand beside Edward. She scanned the vast acreage before letting out an appreciative sigh. "It is so beautiful out here. You must love it."

"Uh…yeah. It's nice, I suppose," Edward said. He'd lost appreciation for the property over the years, clearly equating it with his misfortune.

"This kind of reminds me of Montana. It's so _green_," Bella said as she fell into step beside Edward.

"Do you miss it?" Edward asked.

"Well, there's nothing really there for me anymore, but I guess I do miss how comfortable it was. There wasn't really anything new and unknown there, and sometimes that's nice."

"Don't like surprises?"

"Oh, I love surprises," Bella paused as she stepped around an area of soft, sunken earth. "I guess I've just been feeling…in the dark a lot lately. And it makes me miss the familiarity of home."

Edward laughed. "Why do I get the feeling you're talking about me?"

"Well, not you, per se…just…"

"Every situation that involves me?"

Bella and Edward shared a chuckle over what they knew to be true before a cloud of silence settled between them.

"You know you can ask me if there's something you don't understand." The air turned chilly as they walked and Edward pushed his hands deep within his pockets.

For a few paces, the only sound was that of their footfalls wading through the low grass. Bella kept her eyes on the tips of the cream-colored ballet flats she wore and she appeared to be deep in thought.

Edward was about to suggest that they turn around and go back, since their walk wasn't doing much to loosen up his tongue.

That's when Bella spoke.

"What are we?" she asked demurely.

It wasn't a question Edward had been expecting. He thought she'd ask about future plans, outings, even about his siblings. But _what are we?_ That question definitely hadn't been on his radar.

"What do you mean?" Edward stalled, even though he'd understood what she was asking.

"I feel like I'm in limbo with you," Bella twisted her hands nervously as she spoke. "I'm not quite sure where I stand…with you."

As Edward turned to look at Bella, he was reminded of the time when he was thirteen and his mother had taken him to a doctor other than his father for his first sports physical. After the extremely embarrassing hernia check, Edward remembered the doctor telling him he was in the midst of puberty. _Puberty._ It was one of those words, that though one fully understood its meaning, one never actually wanted to _apply_ the title to himself.

Much like courtship. To verbally tell Bella that he considered himself to be courting her rang among the most unromantic statements a man could make to a woman.

But what was he to say? Cannabeans considered the terms 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend' to be too secular and worldly in their meaning, and not telling enough of the seriousness of commitment.

And he had all too harshly learned the lesson of getting ahead of himself in relationships. She was intended to be his intended, but they were not yet betrothed.

Yes. He fully understood Bella's question.

"I'm sorry, I thought your father explained to you that I had asked to…"

"Yes, yes, he did."

Edward was thankful that Bella had interjected before he'd had to sound academic in his assessment of their relationship.

"But you never gave me the book, so I thought maybe you…had other thoughts," Bella concluded.

"The book?" Edward asked. "The betrothal book?"

When Bella nodded, Edward was shocked. He hadn't expected her to know about that, and he told her as much.

"My grandparents had them," Bella said. "I was never allowed to look in them though. I was always told that it was special, to be kept for when that time came for me.

"So, you've never…had a reason to have one before?" Edward asked slowly. He knew her answer, but he also knew what it would enable him to tell her.

"No," Bella simply stated.

"Bella." Edward stopped and positioned himself in front of Bella so that she'd have to stop walking as well. He couldn't tear his eyes from the ground as he embarked upon the task he'd been dreading all day. "I asked you here today because there was something I wanted to tell you…"

"Right," Bella said. Her tone revealed that she both had been expecting this and that she was nervous about whatever it was that he had to say.

A blood-red robin flew low overhead, and as Edward's eyes followed its trail, they landed upon the barren clearing that housed a flat, cement foundation and nothing more. Before he could control or prepare for what happened next, the words began tumbling forth from his mouth.

"I started building a house there three years ago," Edward pointed to the cement slab. "I'd had these plans drawn up for this beautiful, two-story cobblestone home that I saw one time when I'd gone to visit a relative in Connecticut. I was so excited to get started, but she didn't like it, and so I had to start the process all over."

Edward paused and finally looked Bella in the eye. The expression on her face was just what he'd expected: shock, wonder, confusion and inquisitiveness. He implored her with his eyes to take the cue. _Ask the question. Help me get through this…_

And she did. "She?"

"She was only seventeen when I met her, and, at first, I thought she was the most annoying person I'd ever met. I used to tease her relentlessly. And then one day, she started teasing me back – and it became this sort of game with us.

"I don't even know when it happened really, but we kind of fell into this relationship. We did everything together…went everywhere together, until things got busy for me at school. But even when I wasn't at home, she'd come to my house, and I always kind of thought that was her way of trying to stay close to me in my absence," Edward let out a slight pshaw in his pause, as if he found humor in his stupidity.

Bella stood quietly, her arms wrapped around her torso to ward off anything tragic that Edward might say.

"She was such a perfectionist in her planning, so I didn't really think it was off for her to always want to move back the wedding so that she could have the perfect cake or hall or weather. But by the time I was done with school, I didn't want to put it off much longer. I'd started the house and it was going to be finished in the spring, so I wanted a spring wedding. Well then suddenly the perfect dress was at her aunt's in Dallas, Texas and she couldn't possibly ask her to ship something so precious. I started to think she was stalling, so I just flat out asked her if she still wanted to get married. She said she did, but that she just wanted everything to be perfect and the wedding details were all she had control over."

When Edward stopped talking, Bella took the opportunity to speak up. "Was she Cannabean? Was this a Cannabean wedding?"

"Well…yes and no." Edward vacillated. "She claimed to be, and all of her association was Cannabean. Her father wasn't around and her mother was…well, for all intents and purposes, wasn't around either.

"And it was a time in my life when the Cannabean Way was just my parents' religion. I wasn't as dedicated as I should have been. But I've grown up, and now I know what happens when you don't do things the right way."

Edward walked over to a low two-rung fence and leaned upon it, facing the property he had long since abandoned. He sensed Bella's presence as she came up and rested against the fence beside him.

"What happened, Edward? What happened to her?" she asked quietly.

She was being polite. Edward knew that someone like Bella, who hadn't grown up watching television and still didn't own one, wouldn't be prepared for the soap opera like climax to the story he was now telling. Most likely, Bella was already mourning for the woman she assumed perished tragically or came to some other horrible, but noble end.

"It was just after I'd decided that maybe I'd back off a little bit about the wedding. I had to fly out to Texas to meet up with a company that was interested in buying wine for their restaurant. While I was there, I remembered about the wedding dress, so I looked up the aunt, called her and asked her if I could come by and pick up the wedding dress. Right then I should have known something was off, because she didn't know anything about a wedding dress. No one had ever said a thing to her," Edward shook his head.

"There was no dress?" Bella asked in a stunned whisper.

"Oh, there was a dress, alright. And I got it. Her aunt willingly handed it over and I flew all the way back to Washington with this big white box as my carry-on," Edward mused. "When I got back, I was so excited to surprise her with the dress. But when I dropped in on her, she wasn't home. Her mother told me she'd gone out for a short while and offered to let me wait. So I did. I waited for a long time before I heard a car pull up. I kept thinking that any minute now she'd walk through that door. But she didn't. After about five minutes, I went outside to look for her and I found her in a rather…compromising position with…another man."

Bella's hands clapped against the sides of her face in an expression of horror as she gasped out loud. "Edward that's horrible!" she exclaimed.

It had been years since Edward had allowed himself to recount the story in such detail. He was surprised to find that though it still angered him, the raw hurt had vastly subsided.

But there was still more to tell. And as he looked over at Bella, he could see that she had no idea that she hadn't even heard the worst part yet.

"So there was a shunning, then?" Bella asked quietly.

The strict practice of excommunication, casting a person off as a social pariah among family and friends, was a highly feared reaction to any punishable deed. So harsh was the penance that it often punished the innocent along with the guilty, and was therefore rare in its implication. Yet, just like Edward, Bella seemed to feel that the injustice upon Edward warranted such an act.

"No. There was no shunning," Edward said quietly.

"How is that possible? She said she was Cannabean, right?"

"She did."

"And she was with another man while she was betrothed to you?"

Edward paused. The answer to this question was the great divide. It was a matter of interpretation.

"She…said she wanted to marry me, yes," Edward answered slowly.

"Did you give her a ring?"

"I did."

"And she accepted it?"

"She did."

"Was it a secret?"

"No. Pretty much everyone knew. All of our friends and families."

"So…how, exactly, did she avoid the shunning?" Bella seemed confused.

"It was a matter of protocol," Edward answered, his voice weathered and horse from so much use. "There was no acquaintance meeting because I'd known her for so long already and since her parents weren't Cannabean, I couldn't exactly enter into a formal courtship with her. So, at the end of it all, she denied that we had ever spoke about marriage."

"But what did the Cannabean council say?" Bella asked. Her soulful eyes reflected an empathy that Edward had only seen in one other woman: his mother.

"Well, because the Cannabean community here is small, there weren't enough men to preside if my father sat out of the hearing. And because his sons were involved, my father abstained from voting on a shunning. I'm sure the other elders didn't feel comfortable voting in my father's presence, so they abstained as well. Without a majority vote, there's no shunning."

"Wow," Bella was awestricken. "In Billings, there were so many elders that I could barely keep track of them all. How many are there here?"

"Five," Edward answered. "There used to be seven, but one moved away and the other passed away last fall."

Bella ruefully shook her head. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Don't be. Ben Happ was ninety-six years old. He had a good, long life."

Bella smiled up at Edward with sad eyes. "Not for that. I meant I was sorry about what happened…that you had to go through that."

"Oh," Edward's eyes softened as he looked over at Bella and saw the tender compassion behind her gaze.

Edward looked down to where Bella's had rested atop the fence. So badly he wanted to cover it with his own and tell her how grateful he was to have her understanding; how light and free he felt now that he'd shared his past with her. Or, rather, a portion of his past.

"So what ended up happening?" Bella asked.

"Well, after the council made their decision public, she was free to marry the other guy, so she did. The Cannabean community was pretty divided for awhile. A lot of people didn't agree with the vote, and to this day, many Cannabeans shun her anyway."

"Even though the elders said not to?" Bella questioned. "That would never have happened in Billings…of course, she probably would have been shunned in Billings."

"Yeah, well, if we had as large a council as you had, the vote probably would have gone a lot differently than-"

"Edward?" Bella turned to him suddenly.

"Mmhm?" He looked up and found Bella staring at him with brows furrowed in thought.

"Earlier you sons."

"What?"

"When you said your father abstained from voting, you said '_because his sons were involved_'."

It had been a slip of the tongue. In his careful attempt to guard his words and dole out bits and pieces of relevant information, Edward had still managed to make a mistake. And now, Bella was looking to him through wondrous, expectant eyes.

"Yes," Edward nodded before turning to look directly at her. "My father abstained from voting because he didn't want to vote against one of his sons."

"Vote against…Your _brother?_" Bella asked incredulously.

Edward nodded solemnly. "Jasper," he stated barely above a whisper.

In his peripheral vision, Edward could see all indications of Bella's inner struggle as the entire story flashed through her mind, now with all of the missing pieces in place. When his eyes met hers again, they both uttered the same word in unison – one in question and one in answer:

"Alice."

Edward wasn't sure if he expected or hoped for silence following the admission of exactly who "she", the woman from his past, was. Whatever the case, silence was the exact opposite of what he got.

Suddenly Bella was voracious for answers. Her questions ranged from his family's reaction to Edward's feelings for his brother.

"Do you think you can forgive him?" she asked after a brief reprieve from their question and answer.

Edward shrugged. "He doesn't really want my forgiveness."

"Why not?"

"Because it would be an acknowledgment that there is actually something to forgive him _for, _and he doesn't think there is."

"He thinks he's completely innocent in all of this?"

"The Cannabean council says he is."

Edward watched as a passing wind lifted a strand of Bella's hair. It whirled and waved at him before settling against her shoulder.

"Do you still love her?" she asked quietly.

It was finally a question he'd been expecting. Of course she would want to know if there was competition for his affection; if her future would find her overcast by the shadow of a woman she could never be.

"Throughout this entire ordeal with Alice and Jasper, the only thing Alice and I agreed on was that I never loved her the way my brother does."

As Edward watched Bella digest the information he'd given her, he saw movement over her shoulder and focused in on his mother, off in the distance, moving toward them.

"I think we're being summoned," he said as he gestured in his mother's direction.

Esme was slightly winded when she caught up to the couple and she flashed Edward a cautious glance, testing the mood as she approached.

"How was lunch?" she asked.

"It was nice. Thank you," Bella said graciously.

Edward hoped his mother hadn't noticed how much of the food had gone uneaten when she'd passed by their picnic.

"I told Rosalie I'd pick up groceries for her this afternoon," Esme checked her watch. "Would you like me to give Bella a lift home on my way to the store, or…"

"Um…" Edward glanced at Bella. Now that all of the information had been laid out between them, the last thing he wanted was for Bella to leave without him knowing exactly how she felt. Knowing what she now knew, would she implore her father to reconsider his choice of a mate for her?

Esme saw Edward's hesitation and rushed to offer a suitable compromise. "Why don't I clean up the picnic and you two can finish up?"

"Sure," Edward nodded, knowing it was the best he was going to get.

They retraced their steps back towards the house, and though he'd been granted extra time, Edward didn't use it. Instead, he opted to simply bask in her presence, like a man with a limited amount of time.

"Thanks for lunch," Bella quietly told Edward when Esme had returned to the kitchen with the basket of food.

He fought the urge to touch her as he watched her meekly fumble with the buttons on her sweater.

"Bella, can you wait here for a minute? I have something for you," Edward said.

She looked surprised by this statement but acquiesced nonetheless.

Agilely, Edward raced up the stairs only to return moments later carrying a thin, hardbound book.

The recommendation had been for Edward to have a type of ceremony to commemorate the event of giving Bella her Book of Betrothal. And though he'd had every intention of complying, doing it this way, in this moment, seemed right. Because, unbeknownst to Bella, Edward had passed a milestone that day. He had shared his truth with Bella, and in listening, she had freed him from the shackles of his past. No longer did he carry it as a secret sin, a scarlet blemish on his soul.

"I held on to it because I wanted to have your name engraved on the inside," Edward said as he opened the front cover of the book to where he'd provisionally sketched 'Bella Marie' in pencil. "But it's yours…if you'd still like to have it."

Like the previous night when she'd offered him the boots along with her understanding of his possible rejection, he now offered her the book and his acceptance of the fact that that his admissions may have deemed him unworthy.

And much like the previous night, she returned a smile similar to the one he'd given her as she accepted the book from his hands.

"I'd love to have it, Edward," she assured him.

And it was all he could do not to kiss her.

* * *

**_Thanks to everyone for their patience while I dealt with a bout of carpal tunnel and anxiety over this chapter. Many thanks to Lillybellis (Intersection, Rhapsody in B), jjuliebee (Meant to Be) and Sleepyvalentina (Art After 5, Counterpoint, My Life to Be). And, of course, thank you so much to A Different Forest (adifferentforest [dot] com) for hosting me!_**


	12. Chapter 11 A Foundation of Trust

**A Foundation of Trust. **_It is the foundational belief of Cannabean relationships that love cannot occur apart from or before trust has been established. In the pre-betrothal period of courtship, the important of trust is instilled in imminent brides by encouraging and upholding confidentiality between herself and her suitor._

The sun peeked out from behind a bank of clouds as Bella peered out the vast window of the sun porch. She smiled to herself in thinking that the sitting area was ironically named for the small town of Forks, since it was rarely sunny.

Bella could hear her mother busily tending to household chores. Normally Bella would work right alongside her, but ever since Edward had given her the betrothal book, Bella had spent every spare moment reading them – and her parents had given her the latitude to do just that.

The voracious reading had begun immediately upon her return from the Cullen home the day before. Bella had been anxious to speak to her mother about some of the information that Edward had disclosed to her. However, the house was empty when Bella arrived. When she entered into the foyer, she found a note from her mother stating that she'd gone to the store to buy some items for dinner. While she waited, Bella decided to do a small amount of reading in her newly acquired book.

Ironically, the first page she turned to, a few paragraphs into the first chapter, was about the importance of trust in a relationship. Bella felt that the information was common sense, nothing new.

However, it was a portion of sentences in the middle of the page that leapt out at her and got her attention:

"_Women learn to show respect and honor for their husbands in the way they regard them in both public and private situations…_

_Conversations shared between pre-betrothal and betrothed couples should always be held in the highest confidence. A man requires a certain degree of security in order to learn and share about himself within the element of the relationship. In order to facilitate this sharing, and thus the growth of the relationship, women must take great effort to avoid useless chatter and idle gossip. What often begins as an innocent discussion can easily escalate into a series of circumstances that work to undermine the respect and trust that a couple has worked so diligently to build." _

Bella read the words swiftly a few more times and filtered her thoughts through their meaning. She had been hastily awaiting her mother's return so that she could confide in her what she was feeling about what Edward had told her. However, since coming upon that particular passage, she was now confused as to whether or not it was acceptable for her to do so.

Bella was still undecided about what, exactly, was considered useless chatter, when she heard her mother in the kitchen putting groceries away.

"Let me help you with that," Bella said as she relieved her mother of one of the two paper sacks she was carrying.

"I thought it was just going to be a quick run to the store," Renee sighed as she placed the other bag on the counter. "That store was packed – and for Forks, that's saying something. It took forever to get through the express line."

"I was wondering what took you so long." When Bella saw that her mother had taken notice of her words, she added, "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh?" Bella now had her mother's full attention. "Did something go wrong?"

"No, nothing like that," Bella assured her. "I was just…wondering about something I read in my betrothal book."

"Did you ask Edward about it?" Renee returned her attention to dutifully putting away food.

"Do I have to ask Edward," Bella asked, her eyes on the cupboards. "Can I not ask you about any of this?"

Renee immediately stopped what she was doing. "Of course you can, Bella. I just want to encourage you to go to Edward whenever you can; to help you take advantage of all of your bonding opportunities."

"But…what if it's _about_ Edward?" Bella questioned. "What if there's something he said that I want to discuss with you. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

Renee smiled. "Bella," she said in an unassuming manner, "I can tell by the way that you're asking the question that _you_ don't believe you should tell me about it."

"It's just so confusing and I don't know _how_ to feel about it. I need an outside perspective," Bella hinted.

"What Edward spoke to you about, was it something he'd done that was illegal?" Renee asked.

"No, of course not," Bella insisted, shocked by the harshness of the words.

"Immoral?"

"Well…no."

"Abusive?"

"No," Bella answered, as she came to an understanding of the point her mother was trying to make.

"Then whatever the two of you discussed is something that needs to remain between you and Edward," Renee concluded. "If at all possible, you should always try to keep things that concern your relationship between those who can affect it. That would be you and Edward. Gain your perspective from him, Bella."

And so Bella swallowed her inquiries and kept them to herself until she felt confident enough to broach the issues with Edward.

Two days later, he invited her to meet him for lunch during his lunch hour. Since Charlie had ended his mail route early, he accompanied Bella instead of her mother. It was immediately obvious that Charlie's presence unnerved Edward, and he was more quiet than usual, as was Bella. The only real conversation that transpired was about Edward's business. He informed Bella that he was going away on business the next day and wouldn't return until early Monday morning.

"I'm setting up with a new supplier and sometimes it requires a lot of time in the beginning to ensure that everything runs smoothly." He glanced over at Bella, but Charlie interrupted before he could speak to her directly.

"Do you do that often? Go away, I mean," Charlie clarified.

"A few times a year," Edward answered.

Charlie nodded and then looked over at Bella before granting Edward his attention once again. "Are those long trips?"

"This is the longest one I've ever had," Edward answered. He seemed restless in his seat as he tried to capture Bella's attention. But she avoided looking directly at him, because his nervousness made her nervous.

Edward must have sensed Charlie's trepidation about extended business trips, because he rushed to add, "This one is only taking a little longer because I won't be going back at the end of the year, like I usually do. I'm trying to tie up all my loose ends so that I won't have to be away when…"

Bella looked up at that moment and broke Edward's train of thought and speech. Though she wondered what he'd been planning to say, she didn't ask him to restate. Instead, she listened quietly as he and her father spoke randomly about the economy.

Yet each time she happened a glance at him, he was watching her. Each time that his smile was unsure, she'd attempt to reassure him with hers.

Charlie watched them soundly and closely, making any and all interactions between them public.

"May I call you when I return?" The question was for Bella, but Edward directed himself to Charlie for permission.

Charlie obliged and Bella left Edward that afternoon with unspoken words on her mind and an already nagging loss at his absence in her heart.

And that feeling caused even more confusion for Bella. He had already become part of her routine, and she was going to _miss_ him.

To ward off the void of his presence, Bella kept busy – happy to have the time to delve further into her betrothal book, as well as contemplate the story Edward had previously told her about Alice.

Alice!

In the time since Edward had told her of his past, Bella had spent a lot of time trying to reconcile the person she knew as Alice to the person whom Edward had described. They were extremely different.

Bella couldn't imagine _her_ Alice stringing along one guy and then leaving him for his brother. And Cannabean societies are very clannish – why would someone make that kind of decision knowing they'd still be attached to the one they had slighted so?

And Edward had said that he didn't love Alice as Jasper had, but he hadn't said he _didn't_ love Alice at all. He had to have, because his arrangement came from his own doing, and not that of his parents.

_So what does he see when he sees me? Am I a last resort? A second best?_

Bella felt silly for how she felt. For most of her life she'd seen Cannabean couples wed without the element of love, and yet they usually found it. In the case of Bella's family, they _always_ found it.

And at first, Bella hadn't minded at all that Edward was not yet in love with her. It was just one more way that they were equated; that they'd grow together.

But now, knowing that he'd previously held such strong feelings for another made things seem uneven, somehow, and worked to make Bella feel even more intimidated in Edward's presence than ever before.

A telephone call late Friday evening interrupted Bella's silent reveries and gave her something to look forward to at the week's end.

"Bella, so sorry to spring this on your at the last minute, but I was wondering if you might be able to work in the nursery this Sunday? We've had so many people call out and I'm scrambling trying to get all the rooms covered." It was Melinda from church, and she sounded desperate.

"Uh…" Bella tried to think quickly. Edward was out of town, so she had no reason to expect to spend the day at the Cullen home. And it _was_ a commitment her parents had allowed her to make, even if Edward had momentarily altered her routine. "Yes. Yes, I don't think there will be any problem with my working this Sunday."

"Oh, thank you so much, Bella!" Melinda squealed. "I knew I could count on you."

Later that evening, when Bella ran her plans past her parents at dinner, Renee thought nothing of it, but Charlie questioned whether or not Edward might have a problem with it.

"He's not here, Dad. Remember? He went out of town," Bella said.

"I know. I was just wondering if he still expected you to spend the afternoon with his family," Charlie said.

It wouldn't be considered odd if Edward had planned for Bella to spend the day with his parents, even if he wasn't there. It was something that she hadn't thought of before, but now that her father had mentioned it, she worried that she might have overstepped her bounds.

"Should I call Melinda and cancel?" she wondered aloud. "I only said I'd do it because Melinda sounded so desperate…and because Edward was out of town."

"No, you don't need to cancel. If the Cullens have made plans for you, I'm sure it won't be too much trouble for you to head over there after you finish up in the nursery," Charlie said. "But in the future, unless Edward gives you specific instructions otherwise, you shouldn't make any amendments to the norm."

Bella nodded into the beef stew. It was odd how something as innocent as volunteering to help out had seemingly turned into a mistake – something she should have taken more careful consideration of.

Life used to be much easier.

But she'd be remiss if she didn't admit that she'd much rather have Edward in her life than not.

On Saturday, that sentiment was reiterated when a postcard that arrived from Edward caused her heart to dance in her chest at the mere sight of his executive script:

_I hope this postcard finds you happy and well._

_ Thinking of you,_

_ Edward_

She smiled at how business-like and formal his words came across, but she immediately understood why he'd written the words as he had. Though they did not engage in the sweet-talk often ascribed to new lovers, it was obvious that Edward took great care with his words knowing that Bella would most likely not be the only one reading them. It was also why he'd opted for a postcard instead of a letter sealed in an envelope; a symbol that his actions were upstanding and pure and that he had nothing to hide.

In addition to the postcard from Edward, Bella also saw that the inquiry she'd sent the local college, long before her courtship with Edward, was just now being answered. They'd stated that she would be able to take the credential courses online simultaneously, as long as she paid the fees for all units.

It was a bittersweet moment. She could have a Washington State credential in less than six months, but she was sure that Edward would not allow it. At that moment, he was out of town, laboring tirelessly because he took very seriously his Cannabean commitment to be the breadwinner and to take care of himself and his soon to be wife.

It was a very classic and customary Cannabean conviction for the woman not to work outside of the home and Bella didn't see Edward straying from that. And though she wasn't looking for a job, she was looking to complete her ability to obtain one. To Bella, they weren't one and the same, but she had yet to find out if Edward felt differently. Fear of discovering that he did had kept her from broaching the subject with him thus far.

The Sunday morning service brought a temporary reprieve from her thought's assault of the unknown. The familiarity of simply sitting beside her mother was welcomed. She found herself able to pay attention to the sermon instead of being distracted by the pattern of Edward's breathing or the nap of his sweater or the small scar on the back of his hand just above is wrist.

After the service, Bella was just as excited to attend to the babies in the nursery. It was also a task that she was comfortable doing and she'd missed it for the weeks she'd been away.

Knowing that Melinda had said she was shorthanded, Bella had prepared herself to be on her own. Before entering the nursery, she made sure to wash her hands and grab an extra package of diapers and wipes, just in case she ran out in the middle of the service and was unable to leave.

She was so wrapped up in her preparations that she almost didn't notice that Melinda had managed to secure additional help.

"Hi, Bella."

"Alice?" Bella almost dropped the items she was holding. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh…working. Same as you," Alice answered with a sassy smirk. "And I should ask you the same thing. I hear you've taken a bit of a leave of absence as well."

Bella simply nodded, but offered no additional commentary.

It seemed like years had passed since Bella had seen Alice, therefore Bella allowed her eyes to linger, as she looked Alice over. But then her subconscious caught up with her conscious mind and the memory of what Edward had told her flooded her thoughts. Suddenly Bella couldn't bear to look at Alice and she turned away hastily.

"I'm just going to put these over here," she called over her shoulder.

Confrontation did not suit Bella and she avoided it at all cost. Another "quality" that eluded Bella was insincerity. She found it impossible to sit with Alice and talk about the life happenings that had transpired in the time they were apart as if nothing had happened. As if she were none the wiser about what had went on between Alice and Edward.

So Bella simply avoided Alice the best she could.

But Alice simply ignored the fact that she was being ignored.

"Henry is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen," Alice called out to Bella as she bounced the chubby baby boy on her knee. "Just don't tell Rosalie. She'd die if she heard me call anyone other than her kids by that title."

Again, Bella nodded but remained silent.

"I used to think I was going to have a house full of them. I wanted a bunch of boys, all with their father's hair and their grandpa's eyes. Bella, don't you think Carlisle has the most beautiful eyes?"

"I, uh, guess," Bella said. She busied herself with a young girl who wanted her mother in the worst way and wouldn't stop crying.

"But I've finally given up on that dream. I've come to accept that it's not going to happen for Jasper and me. No babies," Alice sighed.

Bella's curiosity momentarily betrayed her wary feelings for Alice and she looked up and allowed her eyes to connect with Alice's.

"I suppose at this point you agree with everyone else that it's a worthy penance for someone as horrible as me," Alice quipped as she rested her head against the back of the rocking chair and rocked the still-jovial baby.

Bella wanted to tell Alice that she knew what she was trying to do and that she didn't feel sorry for her, but it wouldn't have been the truth. How could she not ache for any woman who craved and yet would never know the joy of childbirth? Regardless of any past discretion, it wasn't a fate Bella would wish upon anyone.

"Don't you?" Alice pressed.

"Don't I what?" Bella responded faintly.

"Agree with everyone else," Alice prompted.

"Alice, I don't know what you're talking about," Bella shrugged, but her body language revealed that she had no interest in clarification.

"Though, I would think that you'd at least want to hear my side of the story before deciding you want nothing more to do with me." When Bella continued to feign ignorance, Alice added, "I know Edward told you, Bella. It's obvious."

Bella's first inclination was to continue to act as if she had no idea what Alice was referencing, but that would have been a lie, and Bella was a horrible liar. Nor did she feel compelled to fabricate the truth for Alice's sake.

"Alice, I'm not going to discuss this with you here and now," Bella simply stated.

"Well then, when?" Alice protested. "Edward keeps you under lock and key when he's around. When am I going to get another opportunity like this?"

Bella spun around to face Alice suddenly. "Alice, are you even supposed to _be_ here? Does Melinda know you're here?"

"I passed the volunteer clearance like everyone else, Bella," Alice answered vaguely.

"This is so…so-"

"Desperate?" Alice suggested. "Yes, it is desperate, but when your father- and brother-in-law forbid you to speak to someone, you might go to extremes to be heard."

"You're forbidden to speak to me?"

"I was, just until Edward told you about us. And I know he has, Bella. So technically I'm not breaking any rules."

Hearing Alice refer to herself and Edward as an '_us_' was more than slightly disconcerting. Bella didn't like it. At all.

"You shouldn't be here, Alice."

"I have to talk to you, Bella. I need you to hear the truth."

"Edward told me the truth."

"Edward told you the same thing he told his parents: a factual fiction. But I bet you he didn't tell you how much he disliked me in the beginning. How hard I had to work for his affection – which I don't think I ever really got. I bet he didn't tell you how often he left me to work on one project or another. And I suppose he didn't tell you –"

"Enough, Alice," Bella held up her hand to stop the tirade. "None of that matters to me."

"Let me guess, his version of the story paints me as some harlot who throws herself at his older brother while he's pulling all-nighters at college."

"Alice…" Bella was unprepared for this conversation.

"I knew it!" Alice bellowed. "Bella, it's not true. I did not throw myself at Jasper."

Bella considered telling Alice that Edward hadn't actually said that, but she decided against it. After all, Alice had been there for the first hand account; she didn't need Bella to help her relive it through Edward's words. Besides, she wanted to hold firm to her conviction that what Edward had told her was for her ears only.

"I'm not going to tell you what Edward told me, because it was between the two of us. But I will tell you that it was the truth."

"That's funny…no one else seems to be privy enough for the Edward-Cullen-true version of the story," Alice huffed.

Alice's attempts at sympathy through self-deprecation hadn't exactly been successful, but the undermining seed she was planting that hinted at Edward's untruthfulness was chipping away at Bella's resolve.

As Bella stood across from Alice, she saw a glimpse of the woman she'd come to deeply care for in a very short period of time – a woman who filled a void in her that she'd never even known she had. And Bella suddenly realized how much she missed and wanted that back. And if Alice could somehow take away the impact of Edward's words…

"So you and Edward weren't…more than just friends?" Bella focused intently on peeling away a lifted layer from her thumbnail.

"Edward and I were just…kids," Alice concluded. "I was seventeen years old, Bella. I'd grown up with all the other girls around here talking about how great the Cullen boys were and I kind of got a crush by association, you know?"

_No. I don't know. _That's what Bella wanted to answer, but she remained silent so Alice could continue.

"Edward was the Cullen brother closest to my age and so he seemed like the obvious choice. Don't get me wrong, he was great. He was absolutely beautiful and really fun to hang out with – though he thought I was a pest at first. But we started to hang out more and more and we became really good friends. And around here, any guy and girl that are good friends are as good as dating," Alice paused to take a breath. "Everyone asked us _all the time_ if we were together. We kind of jokingly answered them that we were. I always thought we were joking around…but somewhere down the line, Edward started to take it seriously."

"So…you were _joking_?" Bella was sure she'd heard incorrectly. A rift between two brothers, between a father and a son…it had started as a joke?

Bella noticed the electrocuted look Alice gave her when she realized how shallow her words sounded as they resonated with Bella.

"Well…I mean…I just wasn't as serious about it as he was," Alice corrected. "I guess at some point we talked about it and decided that we'd try dating. But…I don't know…I never thought much of it."

_Cannabeans don't date, Alice._

"So…Edward didn't ask you to marry him, then?" Bella questioned.

Alice laughed. "He told you he proposed?"

Bella realized that Edward had never actually used the word _proposed_. He'd worded it differently, and Bella had remembered it had sounded awkward at the time. When Bella had asked about the betrothal, Edward had simply stated that the woman, now known as Alice, had "said she wanted to marry [him]".

"Edward didn't propose," Alice shook her head. "Edward…just planned. That's who Edward was and is. He has this picture in his mind of what he wants to do and when he wants to do it. School, career, house, wife, kids…I just felt like this…puzzle piece. There wasn't even any emotion in the choosing."

"But there was with Jasper?"

The expression on Alice's face was a distrusting one. The insertion of Jasper into the story definitely made an unassuming Edward appear affronted and wronged. Bella could tell that Alice chose her words carefully so as not to make that seem to be the case.

"Jasper was never even on my radar. I mean, I thought Edward was barely an option because he was two years older than me and Jasper is older than him…but when Edward was in college, he…was gone a lot. Even when he was _here_ he was gone. His mind was always on bigger and better things. I felt left behind.

"I still visited the Cullen house all the time because I wanted some way to be near to Edward. Jasper was usually there when I got there and he used to have me help him on ad campaigns for the vineyard. It was so nice to be needed and invited in."

"Did you tell Edward that you felt left behind?" Bella asked.

"See, that's the thing. I didn't have to tell Jasper that. I didn't have to tell Jasper anything. He just sort of knew. It was like he could read me."

When Bella looked at Alice like she was speaking a foreign dialect from another time, Alice was quick to defend herself. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You've been Cannabean your entire life, and Cannabeans don't really value the concept of love at first sight."

Bella recognized Alice's words for what they were meant to be: an insult; an insinuation that Bella's meager mind could not process something as dazzling and amazing as being crazy about someone for a reason you are not able to articulate.

"I apologize for my mere Cannabean mind, Alice," Bella said clearly. "And you are right. I have been Cannabean my entire life, but even if I wasn't, I still don't think I'd justify sacrificing the feelings of one man for his brother."

"It wasn't like that."

"Then what was it like, Alice? Because so far, the only thing you've successfully told me is that Edward was a friend of yours that became something more and then he went away to college to make sure he could provide for a future family, yet while he was off doing that, you were so focused on your own needs that you turned to his brother and fell in love. That is what you are saying, isn't it?"

Alice narrowed her eyes at Bella and stood up, abruptly placing the baby she'd been cooing over in the middle of a blanket on the floor. She made a grand procession of preparing to leave the room: grabbing her purse and putting on her jacket.

"I thought you were different," she murmured as she stopped just past Bella. "But you're just like all these other people here," Alice gestured toward the open door. "On a Sunday morning they sing songs about love and brotherhood – they read passages about not judging others and then, that's exactly what they do to me.

"An entire panel of Cannabean elders found no wrongdoing on my part or Jasper's. But was that good enough for this community? No, it wasn't. Do you know why I work alone in the nursery, Bella?"

Alice paused long enough for a response, and for a fleeting moment, Bella thought she was expecting Bella to give one, but then Alice went on to answer her own question.

"Because they've imposed their own shunning, Bella. They've all bought into Edward's lies…and I guess you have, too."

"Edward didn't lie, Alice."

"Oh how do you know? You don't even know him!"

"I know that an innocent man never pleads his case. My grandmother told me that," Bella added when Alice's eyes met hers.

Alice let out a pshaw and rolled her eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that Edward didn't tell me anything differently than what you said," Bella revealed. "He didn't tell me he proposed, he simply said you agreed to marry him. He told me about a wedding dress, that he still has in his possession, that he retrieved from your aunt in Texas."

Alice blanched at the mention of the wedding dress.

"And he didn't tell me that you threw yourself at Jasper," Bella stated in a low whisper. "In fact, he told me that Jasper loves you in a way that he never did."

Alice was granted a moment to let Bella's words sink in as parents came in hordes to retrieve their children from the nursery. The time, usurped by Alice's insistence at defending her honor, passed quickly and Bella hadn't even realized that the worship service had ended. By the time the last child was claimed, Alice stood in the far corner of the room watching Bella intently.

"So where does this leave us?" Alice asked.

_That's a very good question, _Bella thought as she struggled to answer truthfully.

"Alice…I don't know if you can understand how hard it is to answer that. I can't even figure out how I feel about everything I've heard. On the one hand, I can't understand how anyone, especially you, could be so…callous - and to Edward! He's the sweetest, most kind-hearted, thoughtful man that I've ever met in my life.

But on the other hand…you and Edward…it's…he's…with you…I don't even like thinking about the two of you as a couple." Bella emphasized her words with a trembling shudder. "If you hadn't done what you did, then I probably wouldn't even know Edward."

A dejected Alice nodded in melancholy agreement.

"What you did, Alice was…for lack of a better word, deplorable."

"Bella you don't know-"

"But," Bella spoke over Alice, "that's between you and Edward and Jasper. And while I understand why Edward feels as he does…I could never dislike you, Alice."

"Really?" Alice's voice was small and impish as her tearful eyes searched Bella's for sincerity.

Bella nodded. "I just…can I ask you one thing?"

"Anything," Alice stated quickly as she wiped the tears that had trailed down her cheeks.

"Were you and Edward ever…how would you categorize the intimacy level of your relationship?"

A small smile coated Alice's lips as she realized what Bella was asking her. "Are you questioning my virtue, Bella?"

"No, of course not!" Bella said with wide eyes. I didn't mean…you know…_that._ I meant…like…well did you kiss him…or anything?"

Alice opened her mouth to answer, but something over Bella's shoulder distracted her. She shut her mouth suddenly and her eyes clouded with anxiety.

"Bella."

Impossible. He's out of town.

Slowly, Bella turned to see Edward leaning against the Dutch door that lead into the nursery.

"Edward?" Her voice sounded startled and strangled.

"If you're ready, I can take you home now," he said.

Bella nodded, silently praying the whole while that Edward hadn't heard what she'd just asked Alice.

She watched him as he reached over the half-door let himself into the nursery. He briefly looked over at Alice, but his actions gave no indication that he was trying to signal her in anyway. He simply walked over and picked up Bella's jacket and held it while he waited for her to finish her necessary duties.

Meanwhile, Alice departed without another word. She smiled appreciatively at Bella, looked fleetingly at Edward, and then disappeared from the room.

"I-I thought you were out of town until tomorrow," Bella stammered as she slipped her arms into the jacket that Edward held up for her.

"I got back early," he stated with a tight-lipped smile. "Are you up for lunch at my parents'?"

"Yes, of course," Bella said. Her eyes searched his expression of a hint of what he was thinking, but found nothing. He was perfectly guarded. "I just have to let my parents know."

"Actually, your parents left a little while ago. Your dad is allowing me to drive you to my house unaccompanied under some very stern conditions, so I'd better get you to my place undisturbed," Edward said. Bella noticed the mocking tone of his voice and relaxed slightly.

"What are the conditions?"

"I believe I'll only need to give up my spleen if I harm so much as one hair on your head," Edward answered. "A person can survive without a spleen, right?"

"Why? You plan on harming me?" Bella smiled up at him.

The tone of Edward's voice and the look on his face turned serious. "Not in the least."

That same seriousness escorted them to the car and all the way to the Cullen home. Though the ride only lasted a few moments, it felt like an eternity to Bella. Everytime she glanced over at Edward, she could see the definition of his jawbone under newly shaven skin. His knuckles popped as he tightened his fingers around the steering wheel at intermittent intervals. And every so often, he'd inhale sharply through his nerves.

Bella was about to blurt out an apology for her perceived misgivings when Edward turned sharply into his parents' driveway. Esme immediately emerged from the house to greet them.

"Bella, I'm so glad you were able to come today," she greeted warmly.

"Mom, is dad home?"

He'd been silent for so long that the sound of his voice jolted Bella.

Esme immediately sensed something was awry. Her eyes vacillated between Edward and Bella. "He's in the house. Is everything okay?"

"Yes…I just needed to speak to Bella alone for a moment," Edward said.

As he spoke his request, Bella couldn't help wondering why he'd squandered their time alone in the car.

"Okay. Well, I'll let him know that you two are here on the porch. If he needs you, he'll come get you," Esme said.

Bella's stomach dropped to her knees as she watched Esme return indoors. The sound of her heartbeat rivaled that of a herd stampede.

Swallowing hard, she steeled herself for his words and looked into his eyes to face the inevitable.

"Bella…I didn't say anything in the car because I wanted to give you my full attention and I can't do that while I'm driving," Edward began.

"Oh…okay," Bella said. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and then back again.

"I heard what you said to Alice, Bella," Edward stated swiftly.

"I know," Bella said softly. "And I know that question was completely inappropriate. I shouldn't have asked her. I should have asked you…or not at all," Bella amended when she saw the way Edward was looking at her.

"Well, from what I heard, she initiated most of the conversation," Edward said.

"Edward," Bella tilted her head to the side as she looked at him. "What, exactly, did you hear?"

"Everything," he told her. "It wasn't my intention to eavesdrop. When I showed up at the church, your parents were in the foyer without you and they told me where you were. A few people stopped me along the way and by the time I got to the nursery, I heard Alice say that she needed to tell you her side of the story."

Bella looked away, not sure if she had done something wrong by allowing Alice to speak her side of the story, instead of shutting down the exchange.

"I admit that I was curious to see how she'd explain herself to someone who had no evidence of the contrary. So…I stood there and waited to hear what she'd tell you."

"And?"

"And I was much more interested in what you had to say, actually."

Bella watched for a cue, a hint as to which direction Edward was going. Was he upset about something she'd said? Or did he agree with something she'd said?

"How you managed to sum up the entire ordeal without experiencing a fraction of what everyone involved experienced, I'll never know," Edward finally let out.

The many faces Edward had worn that afternoon flashed through her memory, and suddenly she was able to identify the summation of what they were communicating. It wasn't distrust or irritation or disappointment.

It was gratitude.

"So you're not angry with me?" Bella clarified.  
"Bella, what I feel is so far opposite of angry," Edward said in a low tone as he closed the distance between himself and Bella, "I don't even think there's a word for it."

When Bella chuckled and dipped her head to hide her reddening cheeks, Edward reached out and lifted her chin with the tips of his fingers.

"And as for your other question…"

Bella burned with humiliation as she recognized what he was referencing.

"I kissed Alice here," Edward whispered before softly grazing Bella's forehead with his lips. "And here…"

Bella gasped as his unyielding lips landed lightly on her cheekbone.

"But never here..."

Bella's eyes watched Edward's mouth relentlessly as her mind raced to process exactly what he was doing. Cerebrally, Bella knew, and she knew that Edward also knew that Cannabean law strictly prohibited kissing in the introductory phase of the courtship. But as Edward's lips connected with her own, Bella gave in to heartfelt desire and received him willingly and warmly.

Inside, Carlisle's empty stomach was tortured by the aroma of his wife's fine cooking. He looked at his watch before strolling into the den to peek out the window for a hint as to what was keeping Edward and Bella.

A moment later, after resituating the curtains from his furtive glance of the porch, Carlisle strolled into the kitchen with an amused smile on his face.

"What?" Esme asked, affected by her husband's contagious grin.

"I'm pretty sure Edward and Bella have just graduated to the second phase of their courtship."


	13. Chapter 12 Relationship Roles

**Relationship Roles. **_Successful relationships consist of individuals who not only know what to expect, but know what is expected of them. Just as important as a clearly defined role is the ability to allow one's mate to fulfill the role outlined for him/her. _

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Edward found himself more antsy than usual as the airplane descended toward the tarmac. He checked his watch repeatedly willing the time to stand still long enough to secure his ability to arrive at the church before Bella departed from the Sunday morning service.

He was supposed to be out of town until the following day, but things had gone better than planned, and, in all honesty, Edward really didn't want to miss out on spending an entire Sunday with Bella. Seeing her scarcely during the week, and only one day on the weekend left him wanting for her companionship.

He wanted more time. He needed more of her.

Edward reported to work regularly before six in the morning, and usually, by the time he left after three in the afternoon, he was mentally tired and he'd usually vegetate with a meal and a good book.

But ever since Bella came into his life, he felt invigorated at the prospect of ending his day with a sighting of her, though it rarely happened during the week. At first, simply the idea of her was enough to keep him going but that was quickly changing.

Therefore, he didn't give a second thought to the way he hurried to his parked car at the airport, more thankful for the airline carry-on policy than he'd ever been in his life.

After a quick detour home to wash the stench of the airplane ride off his body, Edward was once again in his Audi, on his way to the church. He arrived just as the second service was starting and was excited to see that Bella's parents were still present in the entryway, until he noticed that Bella wasn't with them.

"Edward," Renee greeted him curiously. "I'm surprised to see you."

"Yes, I just made it back. I was going to surprise Bella," Edward's eyes searched Renee's features for an answer. "Did I miss her?"

"Since she wasn't expecting you," Charlie did well to reiterate, "they asked for her over in the nursery and she accepted. We were just going to stick around until she finished up so we could drive her home."

Edward nodded. "Or I could drive her home," Edward gave his request as a statement. "Actually, I was hoping to spend the day with her…like I usually do on Sunday." Edward did a little reiterating of his own.

Charlie and Renee exchanged glances and then Charlie looked down at his watch. "You said you needed to take a meal over to the Haskle's?" he asked his wife.

Renee nodded. "This afternoon. I told them I'd be by around three."

Charlie looked perplexed for a moment before Edward realized that he was stuck on the issue of a chaperone for Bella for the duration of the ride to the Cullen home from the church.

"I could call my father," Edward offered. "He's probably preparing for tonight's service, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind…"

"No," Charlie shook his head and looked at Edward with a gaze that would cut metal. "If I allow you to drive Bella _this once_ on your own, can you give me your word that you'll drive her straight to your parents'? No detours?"

"Yes, sir. Definitely, sir," Edward agreed immediately. The thought of being alone with Bella, even if it was just a short car ride, definitely sounded sweet. And the fact that he had Charlie's permission made it all that much more sweeter.

"I mean it, Edward. Not a hair on her head disturbed."

Edward had doubts that Charlie was that concerned about the hair on Bella's head and meant it as an illustration that he simply didn't want her touched.

"You have my word," Edward said.

"And your spleen, if anything goes wrong." Charlie's grin, though meant to soften the warning, only worked to embellish it.

Edward laughed, though he didn't find his prospective father-in-law's words to be funny in the least. He said a quick farewell and wished them a safe trip home before fast-walking over to the nursery.

He expected to hear cooing, crying and screaming coming from the doors, but instead, he heard the grating tinkle of Alice's laugh as it filtered through the open door.

_Alice was back?_

The agreement that Edward had made with his father regarding Alice was that Alice would stay away from Bella until Edward had had the opportunity to fill Bella in on their past. He didn't want Bella to learn of it from Alice, as if he'd been keeping it from her, yet he also didn't want to state anything prematurely. In fact, if he'd had his way, Edward would have waited even longer to tell Bella about Alice, but thanks to Jasper and his drunkenness, Edward's hand was forced on the issue.

Despite the fact that Alice wasn't introducing the topic, Edward still felt a sense of dread in knowing that she'd had unrestrained access to Bella and was filling her head with who knows what. Since Edward and Alice hadn't actually talked about things, he had no clue what angle she'd take when explaining her interpreation to Bella.

And that realization caused Edward to stop in his tracks and conceal his approach. There was no way to know how to refute what Alice said if he didn't _know_ what Alice said.

Quietly, Edward stationed himself near the door and leaned up against the outside wall. He took out a pamphlet so that to passersby he'd appear to be casually waiting, but internally, he trained his ears to hear what was happening on the other side of the wall.

Edward rolled his eyes as he listened to Alice try to invoke feelings of pity and sympathy as she craftily revealed her inability to have children. He balked at her attempt to use that ailment as a penance for her sins. And he steadily grew more irritated at the way she relentlessly insisted upon interaction from Bella.

But when Alice was finally successful in conjuring up words from the quiet one, Edward was blown away by what Bella had to say.

"_Edward told me the truth."_

She sounded so sure of it.

And yet Alice still tried to undermine that confidence.

"_Enough,"_ he heard Bella state firmly. _"None of that matters to me."_

It didn't matter? It didn't matter to her? The shame Edward bore at nearly being left at the alter, at being cast aside for his brother…_it didn't matter_ to her?

In Bella's eyes, there wasn't a smear of disgrace upon Edward for what had happened to him in the past. She placed no emphasis on it.

"_He told you he proposed_?" Alice's voice danced with a lilt.

_Oh here we go again._ Alice held fast to the fact that since Edward didn't get down on one knee or make grand gesticulations regarding matrimony to her, that she hadn't actually been _asked_ to marry Edward, and therefore had not broken any rules of betrothal.

Edward's resolved weakened and he nearly showed himself to refute the ridiculousness. But he hesitated a moment too long, and thank goodness he did. Or he would have missed out on knowing just how capable Bella was to deal with Alice.

When Bella inquired about the introduction of Jasper into Alice's life, Alice's attempt to explain it was weak and weighted down with unnecessary words.

Edward listened as Alice waxed poetic about how much more fulfilled by Jasper she was than by Edward. He grimaced as he listened to the picture of himself that Alice was painting for Bella. It wasn't flattering by any stretch of the imagination.

There was a moment of silence, and Edward feared that Alice had been successful in causing Bella's confidence in him to falter, but when Alice's next statement was accusatory and biting, Edward realized that things weren't going Alice's way after all.

"_I apologize for my mere Cannabean mind, Alice,"_ Bella responded to Alice's previous cutting remark. _"And you are right. I have been Cannabean my entire life, but even if I wasn't, I still don't think I'd justify sacrificing the feelings of one man for his brother."_

"_It wasn't like that,"_ Alice sounded insistent.

"_Then what was it like, Alice? Because so far, the only thing you've successfully told me is that Edward was a friend of yours that became something more and then he went away to college to make sure he could provide for a future family, yet while he was off doing that, you were so focused on your own needs that you turned to his brother and fell in love. That is what you are saying, isn't it?"_

Edward listened as Alice's façade dissipated and her true self appeared. Her desperate attempts to absolve herself of any guilt were unguarded. When the quest for sympathy didn't work, Alice was insulting. And when that didn't work, she was sarcastic. And when that didn't work, she was laid bare.

With so few words, Bella had stripped Alice of her defense and made her look at herself, and her actions, more clearly.

In that moment, Edward got a clearer picture of who Bella was. And it overpowered anything and everything he thought he knew about her.

She was compassionate, just, empathetic, discerning, extremely intelligent...

…she was _the one _for him_._

With his heart swelling with emotion and pride for the woman he hoped to call his wife someday soon, Edward stood a little taller.

But then he heard Bella's next question to Alice, and her voice lacked the assurance he'd heard earlier.

"_Were you and Edward ever…how would you categorize the intimacy level of your relationship?"_

He inhaled sharply as he realized what Bella was asking. He was so worried about what had led her to question his past, that he nearly missed Alice's insinuating reply.

_"Are you questioning my virtue, Bella?"_

Edward was not about to stand by and allow Alice to create a story where there was none…not between he and Alice, anyway.

He was well aware that Alice knew of the girls before her – the ones who had willingly demonstrated their admiration for the Cullen boys behind sheds, in barns and in basements away from parents' prying eyes.

And though Alice knew there had been no intercourse, Edward didn't trust her to restate that tidbit of information, nor did he want her to. It wasn't her place to have this discussion with Bella.

"Bella." Edward finally showed himself, but not before hearing Bella's final question to Alice – whether or not he'd kissed her.

The look on Bella's face when she'd turned toward her name amused Edward. She looked excited, shocked, fearful and then guilty – all in a matter of seconds. It almost matched the look on Alice's face, though she never looked excited.

"Edward?" The way Bella said his name…questioning his presence, but satisfied, nonetheless.

"If you're ready, I can take you home now." Edward made it a point to give his attention to Bella only, because if he addressed Alice at all, it wouldn't be pleasant. And he didn't want Bella to hear him be unpleasant.

Besides, an innocent man never pleads his own case, according to Bella's grandmother. After finally hearing Alice's side of things, Edward knew there was nothing left for him to say to Alice – he was now sure of it.

As Edward ushered Bella toward his car in the parking lot, they engaged in carefree banter, and at one point, it almost seemed like Bella was flirting with him. Edward loved every minute of it.

On the surface, he was just happy to see her again. He wanted to hug her and tell her how much he'd missed her, but since they were alone, he didn't want to cross that line. Especially since he'd given Charlie the collateral of one of his internal organs.

"Why? You plan on harming me?" Bella looked at him coyly.

It was his plan to respond with the same amount of amusement and playfulness that she was using, but when he looked over at her, the look in her eyes personified the way she'd selflessly defended him; how she'd effortlessly peeled back the inadequacies of Alice's story. But above all, how her assurance in who he was, in what he'd told her had never wavered.

No longer encumbered by his own fear and feelings of what Bella thought about his previous relationship with Alice, Edward was free to focus on Bella and what she might be feeling. Her question to Alice regarding the intimacy level of their relationship revealed her feelings of insecurity on the matter and Edward planned to deal with that sooner, rather than later. As he passed the landmarks that signaled their proximity to the Cullen's estate, he plotted and planned on how to do exactly that.

Edward knew his mother would be the first out of the house, and as Esme fawned and fussed over Bella's presence, Edward watched for his father to emerge from the house.

"Mom, is Dad home?" he asked.

His mother looked over at him as if she were trying to read an explanation for his question from his features.

"He's in the house." Her eyes shifted over to Bella. "Is everything okay?"

Everything was more than okay. Edward just needed a few minutes alone with Bella to assure her that he only had eyes for her, and in the short time that he knew her, no one had ever mattered to him more.

He just didn't want to say that to an audience.

"Yes, I just needed to speak to speak to Bella alone for a moment." Edward watched as his mother caught the appeal in his words. _May I have a moment?_

When Esme answered that Carlisle would retrieve him if he needed him, in essence she was telling Edward to take the time, and that if his father did not approve, he would retrieve him momentarily. She disappeared quickly, but not before giving Edward a motherly smile.

He'd practiced the words he'd wanted to share silently in his head on the short drive over, but when Edward saw the frantic way Bella's eyes were searching his, his mind went blank and he rushed to fill the silence with nonsense. He explained why he didn't simply talk to her while they were driving, and Bella's response let him know that she'd been pondering the answer to that question.

"I heard what you said to Alice, Bella." He finally just spit it out.

Immediately she began apologizing and Edward was quick to shut the litany for pardon down, and instead filled the space between them with words of praise, gratitude and reverence. And when that didn't seem to be enough, Edward thanked her by doing exactly what she'd done for him: he put her mind at ease.

He needed Bella to know that besides a few chaste kisses on the cheek and forehead, nothing had transpired between he and Alice, something he was immensely grateful for.

It wasn't Edward's intention to be physical with Bella, but as he watched a strand of her hair frolic against her forehead, his reasoning escaped him, and before he knew what was happening, his lips were pressed against the soft, unadulterated skin above her brow.

Slowly his mouth slid down the side of her face and landed upon the apple of her cheek, where he slightly drew her flesh between his pursed lips.

Surely it was enough to demonstrate the only ways in which his lips had touched Alice. But even that wasn't true, for there had never been as much emotion between the gentle gestures he'd shared with Alice. In that much, her words had been true that afternoon. In Alice, Edward had found a comfortable friend, a safe choice in one who did not draw out his sin of lust. She'd been a person that he could learn to love and someone he would always (or so he thought) like, even if he didn't passionately desire her.

But Bella was not that person. Desire rolled off Edward in uncontrollable waves, and as Bella's breath caressed the lobe of his ear, he not only wanted to show her what he had done with Alice, but also emphasize what he'd _only_ done with Bella.

Ever so slowly, Edward lifted his hand to cradle the back of Bella's head, and effortlessly his mouth lined up with hers.

"But never here…" he trailed off and left Bella to understand that his lips had never graced Alice's.

Yet they had now danced upon hers.

And seconds after their lips met, she kissed him back.

If he didn't fear his father's imminent intrusion, Edward would not have been able to end that kiss.

As Edward slowly pulled away from Bella, their eyes met for a split second before she averted her eyes, and the cheek that he'd just kissed, colored to mimic a robin's breast.

"Anymore questions?" Edward whispered breathlessly as his fingers mourned the loss of the feel of her hair.

She shook her head, rendered mute by the kiss.

Edward stared at her for a moment, wondering if he should apologize for breaking the Cannabean rule against kissing. But an apology would mean that he wanted to take the action back, and he most certainly did not want to do that.

When Bella's eyes finally met his, he could see that she didn't want that either. A silent vow passed between them. It would be their secret…or so they thought.

Edward's hand graced Bella's but for a moment as he led her toward the front door. Fleetingly his mind wandered to the house he had in escrow and how, hopefully in a matter of a couple of months, he'd be crossing the threshold of his own home.

"There you two are," Carlisle said as he met them in the entryway. "I was just about to send out the search party."

"We were just on the porch…did Mom tell you?" Edward asked.

Carlisle nodded. "Yes, I was only joking. Come, come. The food is ready."

Edward noticed the beaming grin his father wore, but didn't give it a second thought as he pulled Bella's chair out from the table and then took a seat next to her.

"I'm so glad you could come by, Bella. I was hoping I wouldn't miss out on having you to lunch today," Esme said sweetly as she sat down across from Bella. "Edward surprised us all with his early homecoming."

"Just finished up early," Edward shrugged, as if it was an every day occurrence. Though six months ago, Edward would have stayed put simply to avoid the cost of changing his flight.

"I'm glad to come by…and that Edward finished up early," Bella stole a glance at him and smiled.

Edward returned her smile before asking if the family was ready to say grace for their food – not simply because he was thankful for the meal, but also because he needed a reason to take Bella's hand in his.

After lunch was over, Bella and Edward sat in the living room and talked about his recent travel, the church service he'd missed and how Rosalie had asked Bella to come by and help her during her pregnancy.

"Just a word of caution," Edward warned, "when you go over to Rosalie's make sure you have someplace to be a couple hours after you arrive."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"Make an appointment to go shopping or to the library…anything that limits your time to a couple of hours. Otherwise Rosalie will keep you at her house all day. Trust me – I made that mistake once and I'll never do it again," Edward laughed.

"Are the children difficult?" Bella wondered.

"The girls aren't, but Elijah," Edward let out a low whistle in regard to his nephew. "He's more than a handful. And he's spoiled rotten."

"Hmm," Bella pretended to ponder, "I _do_ need to go to the library…"

She and Edward were still laughing when Carlisle came to join them.

"What's funny?" he asked.

Bella and Edward traded glances like two love-struck junior high students in the back row of a classroom.

"Nothing," they said in unison.

Carlisle pretended to be annoyed by the display as he rolled his eyes, but in reality, he couldn't be happier that Bella and Edward had hit a stride in their relationship and seemed to be bonding more quickly than he'd expected.

"Bella, do you mind if I borrow Edward for a little while?" Carlisle entreated her.

"No, of course not," Bella smiled up at him, but there was a tinge of disappointment in her expression.

"I won't keep him long," Carlisle promised.

Curiosity kept Edward quiet as he followed his father up the narrow, winding stairs. His father knew how limited, and important his time with Bella was, so for him to infringe upon it could only mean one thing – there was a problem.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked as soon as his father closed the door to his office. "I asked Charlie if I could drive Bella over here without a chaperone, and he said I could. I even offered to call you, but he told me not to."

Carlisle nodded, but offered no words. He took a seat behind his desk, the place where he felt most comfortable, and Edward instinctively sat down on the other side, facing his father.

"Do you think you took a bit of leisure with his trust?" Carlisle asked.

"What? No, not at all," Edward insisted.

"So you don't think Charlie Swan would object to the display of affection that just took place on my porch?"

Edward took in the stony-eyed expression on his father's face and immediately began to withdraw from what he was now certain his father knew.

"That wasn't…it's not what you think. It wasn't done in lust…it was a demonstration…I-I was just showing her…she asked about…"

"Edward."

Edward looked up and saw the menacing smile his father wore. A plume of breath escaped him as he realized that Carlisle was having a little fun at his expense.

"Very funny," Edward couldn't help smiling, himself.

"You should have seen your face," Carlisle was chuckling now. "But all jokes aside, I know you know the rules."

"I know…and it wasn't my intention to break it-"

"That's never the intention, Edward. That's why you need to be careful. You are responsible for Bella."

"I know," Edward looked down at his hands, but try as he might, he couldn't regret that kiss, but he understood what his father was implying, because at that very moment, all he could think about was doing it again.

"Though the kiss…or shall I say _kisses_, served to mark an event," Carlisle's eyes sparkled. When Edward looked like he was unsure, he continued. "I'd say you've successfully completed the Introductory Phase of your courtship, wouldn't you?"

A smile peeked, and then erupted across Edward's face as he realized that yes, his relationship with Bella had grown beyond the primary boundaries of introductions.

_Relationship. _It sounded so official. It sounded so right.

"Yes, I agree," Edward nodded. He couldn't keep the smile off his face.

Carlisle reached into the top drawer of his desk and pulled out his own worn and tattered copy of the betrothal book. He opened it to the table of contents before shifting the book so that Edward could see it.

"The Introductory Phase was more internal – more about you and Bella as individuals: her family, your family, your career, etc. The Discovery Phase is more about the two of you as a couple and the concepts and environment that will shape your relationship."

Edward nodded his understanding. This was not new information, as he'd read the descriptions in the book. However, he didn't want to appear as someone who thought himself to be omnipotent, so he listened as his father spoke and valued the time he was giving him.

"Dad…what are the parameters for the amount of time I can spend with Bella?" Edward asked when his father paused in his thoughts.

Carlisle shook his head. "There are none, really. As things progress, it's only natural that you and Bella will spend more time together. It's imperative."

"So I don't necessarily have to meet with Charlie?" Edward was hopeful.

"That's not what I said," Carlisle admonished. "It's just a courtesy, a formality, Edward for you to speak to Charlie. Really you're letting him know your intentions and that his time with his daughter, as he knows it, is changing. And know that he is expecting this."

"I know," Edward reluctantly agreed. "But…Mr. Swan makes me really nervous."

"Of course he does," Carlisle laughed. "You have to understand his position. On the one hand, you're a wonderful man, and his daughter is lucky to have you. And on the other, you're the same man that is going to turn his little girl into a woman in every sense of the word. It's extremely conflicting. I'd venture to say that you make him just as nervous."

Edward felt his face flame at the casual way his father spoke of the physical relationship that he and Bella would someday share. Hopefully…someday _soon._

As that thought crossed his mind, Edward realized that the timeline was completely up to him. His chest tightened at the thought, but it wasn't from an anxiety based in fear, but in anticipation.

Carlisle ended their brief chat with a solid pat on the back and a tight smile that let his son know he was proud of him.

Downstairs, Edward found Bella right where he left her, only now Esme had joined her and they were picking through old issues of Architectural Digest magazines.

"Mom, are you trying to bore her to tears?" Edward balked at the numerous issues that lay open on their spines.

"On the contrary, Edward," Esme playfully swatted at him. "Bella expressed an interest all her own. You know me, I'm much more interested in the textiles and colors. Bella loves the hard lines and symmetry to buildings. This is her doing," Esme waved at the books.

"I just like to look. My mother does the same thing," Bella said as she closed the magazine she held in her lap.

"Is there a theme here?" Edward asked as he noticed that each magazine was open to a page that displayed a different design element. Wood beam ceilings, cobblestone fireplaces, hardwood flooring… As Edward's eyes washed over the pages, he realized that there was no coincidence that many of the pictures were components of the design of his first home. The home that he was no longer interested in building.

"Mother?" It was a tone Edward reserved for letting his mother know that he knew what she was up to.

"What?" Esme shrugged innocently.

"You know exactly what," Edward stated, though he didn't seem angry in the least.

Bella watched the exchange between the two with a confused look on her face. "Is there an issue with me looking at these magazines?" she finally asked.

"No. There's an issue with you being _asked_ to look at these magazines," Edward answered, though his eyes never left his mother's. That is until he appraised the curious glance she was giving him and realized that his hand was lightly ghosting across Bella's shoulder blades. He stopped immediately and crossed over to the coffee table and began putting the magazines away.

"Would you like something to drink, Bella?" Esme asked as she moved to a standing position. "I'm going to make some coffee."

"Water would be wonderful. I can get it, if you'd like."

"You stay right there," Esme told her as she disappeared. She returned quickly with a glass of water, but didn't stay in the room after she'd handed it off.

"I feel like there's something I should be getting, but I don't," Bella said, still speaking about what had transpired between Edward and his mother.

"Oh, it's nothing. My mom is just trying to get her way, that's all," Edward smiled.

"With construction magazines?" Bella asked, befuddled.

Edward dismissed the scene with the shake of his head and the shrug of a shoulder before taking a seat next to Bella. He leaned forward so that his forearms rested atop his thighs, before turning to look over his shoulder at Bella.

"Bella, I was hoping that we could start spending a little more time together…perhaps start going through our books?" he searched her face to see if she understood the weight of his words.

"That would be nice, Edward," Bella said his name quietly and seemed to try to conceal her interest at the prospect of spending more time with him. It didn't work. He could see that she was just as interested as he was by the ruby tinge to the tips of her ears, the orbs of her cheeks and the slope of her neck…

Edward cleared his throat in a straining manner.

"Are you free on Wednesday afternoon?" It was a day free of meetings and conference calls and Edward had already planned to work only a few hours.

"I think so," Bella thought for a moment. "Yes, I'm free."

It was a strange juxtaposition – Bella's time. While Edward knew that she was supposed to discuss with him any possible commitments before accepting them, he still had to go through Charlie before finalizing any plans of his own.

And so later that night, after Carlisle had completed his sermon and Emmett and Jasper had sounded the last strain of their chorus, Edward approached Charlie about Bella's time and whether or not he could have more of it.

The bittersweet smile that hid under Charlie's thick mustache alerted Edward to the fact that Charlie understood that he wasn't simply asking for a midweek lunch date or two. When he granted Edward's request, he knew exactly what he was giving up, in the short term and the long.

The look on Charlie's face stayed with Edward over the next couple of days, and he found himself pondering it along with the words of his father in regard to Charlie: _'It's extremely conflicting. I'd venture to say that you make him just as nervous'. _

It was true that Edward could not fathom what Charlie was going through, preparing to essentially give his daughter away. As a man with no sisters, Edward could only imagine what it must feel like to have a daughter, watch her grow up and then willingly allow her to go off in the arms of another man. Of course time softened that blow, but according to every man Edward had ever heard describe it, there was never any real preparation for it.

When Emmett had married Rosalie, Edward vaguely remembered her father dabbing at his eyes with a folded up handkerchief. But until Edward had seen the impending void in Charlie's eyes, he hadn't thought of it in relation to what it actually _felt_ like to give one's daughter away.

That thought process motivated Edward to seek to dispel the feelings of discomfort he felt around Charlie. He raked his brain trying to come up with a way to show the man that they were allies, bound by their faith and the love they had for Bella.

And Edward was quickly accepting the fact that he was, indeed, well on his way to falling in love with Bella Swan.

On Tuesday afternoon, on his way back from an early lunch, Edward got the answer to his brain quest when saw an employee at the sporting goods store put out a sign for a sale of fishing gear. He made a u-turn into the parking lot and in less than twenty minutes he'd purchased the most expensive set of fishing lures they stocked. He couldn't wait to see the look on Charlie's face when he handed them over to him, so instead of heading back to his office, he called his assistant, Gladys, and let her know he had an errand to run.

When he arrived at the Swan residence just after noon, he was happy to find Charlie pulling up in his driveway at the same time.

"Hello, Edward," Charlie waved as he stood beside his car and waited for Edward to walk up to him. "I wasn't expecting to see you today."

"I know. I actually stopped by to see you." Edward pulled out the bag from the sporting goods store and fleetingly wondered if he should have had the small box gift-wrapped. "I saw this in the store and thought you might like to have it."

Charlie reached in the bag and pulled out the box of lures. He raised his eyebrows at the name brand on the box.

"Heddon," he mumbled.

"The clerk at the store said they were the best," Edward said proudly.

"A clerk at a store will tell you anything and everything is the best, Edward. You know that," Charlie said in a flat tone.

"Well, I guess…"

"I don't usually use fishing lures. Live bait is the way to go."

"Oh." Edward felt dejected as he realized that Charlie was refusing his gift.

"But I guess now is as good a time as any to try something new," Charlie mused, still looking at the box.

Edward brightened a bit at Charlie's compromise and when he looked up, he saw that Charlie was eyeing him, a smile looming in the near future.

"Why don't you go on in the house and say hello to Bella. I know she'll be happy to see you."

"Yes, sir."

"What'd I tell you about that 'sir' business, Edward?"

Edward laughed as he walked way. "Thank you, _Charlie_."

Edward kicked the debris from his shoes before slowly turning the doorknob and entering the Swan home. He looked straight through the foyer to the sun room, half expecting to see Bella sitting on the other side of the glass window, curled up with a book. But the curtains were drawn and that area of the house was quiet with stillness.

A few steps into the house and Edward heard what he thought was laughter. He smiled at the thought of Bella sitting at the table laughing over something she read, or heard from a friend.

"Ssshh, baby, it's okay."

Edward recognized Renee Swan's voice and suddenly realized that it wasn't laughter he was hearing, but crying. Deep, lamenting sobs.

And they were Bella's.

As quickly as his feet could carry him, Edward followed the sound of the cries and found himself standing in the small dining nook of the kitchen. Bella sat at the table, her hands covering her eyes, and her mother sat next to her whispering soothing words.

"What is it? What's wrong with Bella?" Edward crouched down beside her. "Bella, what's wrong?"

Startled at the sound of his voice, Bella sat up and began furiously wiping at her face. "Edward…h-hi. I…didn't know you were stopping by today."

Out of the corner of his eye, Edward saw Renee try to conspicuously maneuver a piece of paper out of sight. Swiftly, he stood up and put his hand down on the paper, stilling the motion.

"Edward, honey, why don't you have a seat, and I'll make you a cup of hot tea," Renee attempted to distract him.

But Edward was so focused on the acceptance letter he was reading from the local college, that he hardly heard Renee's kind words.

"What's this?" he lifted the paper and looked at Bella, and then her mother for an explanation.

"Nothing. It's nothing," Bella shook her head and tried to remove the paper from Edward's hand, but he held it out of her reach.

"It doesn't look like nothing. It looks like an acceptance letter." Edward's eyes searched Bella's.

She looked away from him, and down at her lap. A minute nod was barely noticeable.

Edward pulled out a chair and sat next to Bella. When she refused to look at him, he leaned down to look in her face.

"Is this what the tears are about?" Edward gestured toward the paper.

Again a reluctant nod escaped Bella.

"Why?"

Bella looked up, past Edward, to the ceiling in an effort to keep unshed tears from spilling over.

"I don't know," she said in a shaky voice.

"I don't believe that," Edward touched her chin to turn her face toward his. "I think you know exactly why you're crying."

Bella sighed and pointed at her betrothal book that was barely visible under a course catalog for the local college.

"I was reading the chapter you said we were going to go over tomorrow…and…it's about the roles we'll each play in our relationship," Bella paused to sniff and catch her breath, " and I just…realized I'll have to let some things go…that's all."

"Let some things go," Edward repeated as if he didn't understand. "Such as?"

"My education," Bella squeaked.

"What?" Edward's brow furrowed under her words. He reached for the book to see for himself where it said she'd have to renounce her education and how, exactly, one did that.

The front door opened and closed and Charlie appeared and started at the sight before him.

"What's wrong with Bella?" he asked frantically. "Edward, why is Bella crying?"

Edward turned to address Charlie, but Renee intercepted the explanation.

"Charlie, Edward's got it under control," she said.

"Baby," Charlie looked over his wife and down at Bella. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Charlie," Renee tugged on his sleeve. "Edward's got it."

Bella looked up at her father and nodded before she faced Edward.

A heavy sigh was Charlie's only sign of protest as he finally relented and allowed his wife to lead him to the living room on the other side of the small house.

Edward watched at Charlie departed, and as his body passed by the open window the shade of his shadow caused the illumination of the room to slightly flicker – as if to symbolize that where Bella was concerned, the torch had been passed.

"Bella, I don't see anything in here that says you have to give up your education," Edward said as he noisily flipped pages.

She reached out and stilled his hand, and nodded when he looked at her, knowing that he wouldn't find evidence for what she'd said.

"On page fifty-seven, it talks about how, you, as the head of the household will decide if I should work outside of the home and…as I read it…you don't seem like the kind of man that would want his…that would want a dual income household," Bella spoke. Edward interrupted when she stopped to collect her thoughts.

"If you're asking me if I'm okay with you working, then the answer is no, I'm not," Edward told her. "And before you call me a hypocrite, because I'm the product of two working parents, I can assure you it's not because I don't think you're capable.

"But I saw what working outside of the home did to my mother…to both of my parents. It's still a huge strain for my mother to run the household and be involved in the business of the winery and the truth of the matter, Bella, is that you won't _need_ to work."

"I know…and I'm not asking to," Bella said softly.

"You're not?"

"No."

"Then, I don't understand," Edward admitted.

"I worked really hard for my credential, Edward," Bella sighed. "And unless I complete two classes…it's not valid here."

"But you don't need it."

"But I _want_ it," Bella stressed. "I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense to you, but it bothers me to have this…useless asset."

"It's not useless, Bella. You worked hard and you earned your degree and credential. Crossing state lines does not change that accomplishment."

"And that's why, when my father determined that it was up to you if I could complete the program, I didn't bother asking." Bella frowned as if warding off previous thoughts. "It's just hard to work so long for something and then have it rendered worthless."

Edward looked down at the acceptance letter that he still held in his hand. "So you applied to the program?"

"Yes."

"And you were accepted?"

"Yes."

"When did all of this happen, Bella?" Edward was slightly frustrated that this was all going on without his knowledge. Why hadn't she said anything before?

"It was before I met you, Edward. Before I had any reason to think it would be a problem."

Edward found relief in her words. At least it wasn't like she was trying to keep something from him. It's true that their courtship had been unexpected by either of them.

But still, he had just been granted the ability to spend more time with her, and now this. School took a lot of work and time. How would they get to see each other? When?

"What does this entail?" Edward asked, still focused on the paper.

"Six weeks of online courses. Possibly a group project or two." Bella answered.

"Six weeks? Online?" Edward brightened. "You wouldn't have to be on campus?"

"No," Bella answered quietly.

Edward sat back in the chair and appraised Bella. She was right; it _didn't_ make sense to him. She was going to pay for a credential that she had no intention of using, simply because the credential she held wasn't valid in Washington. Well, it wasn't valid in Kentucky either. Did that matter?

But as he looked at the glimmer of hope in her eyes as she awaited his answer, he knew that he would do this for her, if for no other reason than to show her that her desires were important to him.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Bella's eyes searched his for sincerity.

"As long as we both agree that it's because you want to complete your credential and not because you want to start teaching." Edward tugged at his hair in idle frustration. "At least not in the beginning, Bella. So much is new…"

"I know that, Edward. And I'm not asking to work. I'm just asking…to finish what I started."

"Then okay…I'll take care of it."

"Edward, you don't have to."

"Bella. I'll take care of it." Edward smiled, happy to be able to make her happy. The smile slid from his face, however, when he noticed the deadline date on the letter. "And I'd better take care of it today, or you're going to miss out."

"Oh Edward!" Without warning, Bella leapt from her chair and threw her arms around Edward in an embrace. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Edward said, without giving a second thought to wrapping his arms around her in return.

The stern sound of a masculine throat-clearing resonated behind them.

Bella scrambled to right herself and Edward looked over into the disapproving eyes of Charlie Swan.

"Sorry, si-Charlie," he apologized.

"Mm-hmm," he muttered, unconvinced at Edward's remorse. "I gather the two of you have straightened everything out?"

"Yes," Bella answered as she beamed at Edward.

Edward stood up and prepared to depart. He considered filling Charlie in on everything that had just transpired, but quickly decided against it. That would be like asking permission, and by Bella's own admission, Charlie had said it was up to Edward. Even Carlisle had reminded him earlier that he was responsible for Bella.

So it was time to start being responsible.

"I have to pay the college a visit, and then I'll see you, tomorrow," Edward smiled, and when he saw that Charlie wasn't looking, he winked at Bella.

Her giggle made her father suspicious, but Edward didn't care. He wanted to ask her to do it again so that he could record the sound on his phone and listen to it over and over.

It had been so long since Edward had been genuinely happy that he didn't even realize that's what he was. The emotion made him feel light and unshakable. Not even his father's untimely news as he returned home later that afternoon could taint his mood.

"Edward, there you are," Carlisle found him in the kitchen. "I called you, did you get my message?"

"I was over at the college taking care of something for Bella," Edward said, filling with pride and worth at the sound of the words.

"Oh," Carlisle seemed distracted. "Well…Jasper called."

"Okay?"

"And he says that since you talked to Bella, he doesn't think it's fair to keep him and Alice away from Sunday dinner anymore."

Edward could tell that his father was poised for an argument, but Edward felt no fight at the mention of his brother's name

"Whatever, Dad," Edward shrugged. "I don't even care anymore."

Carlisle stood stock-still in the middle of the kitchen as he watched Edward retreat up the stairs. He dared not utter a word, lest he find out that he was dreaming and that his son, his baby boy, was not finally on the mend.

* * *

_**What's with not telling Bella about the house, Edward?**_


	14. Chapter 13 The Discovery Phase

_**The Discovery Phase. **__The Discovery Phase of the courtship process is perhaps the most challenging phase of the three phases of courtship. Everything that the couple has learned thus far in their life is challenged; communication and boundaries, both emotional and physical, are often stretched beyond what the individual feels capable of. Young women often have the most difficult time of all, as they often feel they are in a state of limbo, between their old life and the new. _

_

* * *

  
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Rosalie waddled slightly as she led Bella through the main rooms of her home. The television was blaring in the background and Bella paused to catch an eyeful of a children's cartoon.

"They don't usually watch this much TV," Rosalie said when she saw Bella looking, "but I've been so tired lately, and it keeps them out of trouble."

"Right," Bella nodded, not wanting Rosalie to feel like she was judging her.

"I can't thank you enough for coming over today," Rosalie said as they walked into the kitchen. "Emmett said he'd be a little late and I usually rely on him to occupy the kids while I get a little nap before dinner."

"Well, go. Rest," Bella gestured a shooing motion. "I'll have the kids take me on a little nature hike. I'll try to get them nice and tired for you."

"Oh bless you!" Rosalie said, then she and Bella laughed at her overenthusiastic response.

It was harder to entice the children to go outside than Bella thought it would be. Abigail and Emma teetered on the edge of their interest, but Elijah flat-out refused.

"I want to watch Words World," he announced.

Elijah's petulance reminded Bella of one of the little boys back home in Montana that she used to work with. Edward's previous warning came to mind then, and she wondered how much more difficult Elijah could actually be.

Ignoring Elijah's proclamation, Bella glided over to the window that overlooked the back yard and spoke to the girls, who were eyeing her in wonder.

"Girls, do you have a tree house?" she asked.

"No," Emma came to stand alongside Bella to look out the window.

"My dad said he's going to build me one," Elijah called from his place on the sofa. "He hasn't done it yet."

"It's not just for you!" Emma scolded him. "We all get to use it."

"Have you thought about where you'll put it?" Bella specifically asked Abigail.

Abigail, the youngest child, simply shrugged her shoulders, but her smile communicated that she was happy to be included in the conversation.

"Well…maybe if you find the perfect spot, and are able to tell your dad the exact kind of tree house you want, that will help him build it that much faster," Bella said. "What do you say? Shall we go for a walk and find the perfect location?"

The girls didn't look that convinced, but they ran to the mudroom and put on their shoes and jackets anyway.

And just as Bella suspected, not wanting to be left out, Elijah turned off the television and ran to catch up with them.

"I think we should build it here," Elijah pointed to the first tree he saw.

"That tree doesn't have enough strong branches to support a tree house," Bella said when she recognized the tree he'd selected. Aside from the fact that it was too close to the house, it was also a Western Hemlock, the state tree. She didn't think state officials would look too kindly upon Emmett sawing it down for his children's fort.

To keep the kids walking, Bella pointed to trees off in the distance. They complained at first, however, the scenery was so beautiful that the further they walked, the more interested they became in their surroundings.

"There," Bella pointed to a large, far-reaching Garry Oak. "That is the perfect tree house tree."

"That's not in our yard," Emma explained.

Bella looked at the young girl before turning to scan the landscape before her. The tree, which shadowed a large, calm lake, was the only landmark she saw.

"Where does your yard end?" Bella wondered if Emma even knew.

"Umm…right there. Where the high grass starts," Emma pointed.

A patch of tall prairie grass sprouted up like a hedge to the west of where Bella stood with the children. She suspected that Emmett was the one that mowed up to that point to provide a visible boundary for his kids.

"I guess that means we're standing in someone else's yard," Bella smiled and took a few steps back.

"That's Uncle Edward's yard," Elijah said.

Bella turned and looked again at the vast spread before her. It was rural and wild and…breathtakingly beautiful.

"He doesn't have a house. Just grass," Emma added.

"I'm sure your uncle wouldn't mind if you played in his yard," Bella said.

"My dad said we can't," Elijah countered. "I think it's 'cause Uncle Edward doesn't like us."

"Of course he likes you," Bella firmly objected. Although Edward had confided in Bella that his brother's children were a handful, she knew that didn't mean that he didn't care for them. And the fact that they felt that way saddened Bella greatly.

"How do you know?" Elijah doubted.

"Because he told me." _Kind of._

Fortunately, the children accepted her short answer and, true to their age, their attention spans required they move on to something new.

And Bella had mentioned making cookies, so that was all they cared about at the moment.

They reentered the house to the sound of the telephone ringing incessantly from its place on the kitchen counter. When the answering machine was forced to pick up, Bella was surprised to realize that Rosalie was still asleep.

_She probably really needs the rest._ Being pregnant, with three young children underfoot, was a lot to handle day after day. And by the looks of Rosalie's house, she didn't cut corners on keeping a clean and orderly home.

The children quickly interrupted her musings, reminding Bella that she'd promised them cookies. After a decision was reached on the type of cookie to bake, ingredients were found,and all hands were washed and accounted for, the foursome set out to make Bella's grandmother's recipe for peanut butter cookies.

Bella stood by as the children poured, mixed and rolled. She cleaned up the messes too big for them and then put them a suitable distance from harm as she warmed the oven and then slid the cookies inside.

After the telephone sounded for the fourth time, Bella noticed how much of the afternoon had gotten away from her.

"Wow…your mother has slept a long time," Bella said, amazed at how long Rosalie's "short nap" actually ended up being. "Do you think we should wake her up now?"

"We're not allowed," Emma said quickly.

"She gets mad when we wake her up," Abigail nodded.

It was logical for Rosalie to have rules for her children, but it was nearing four o'clock. Dinner needed to be made, children needed to be bathed…Bella was sure Rosalie would be more upset with _not _being woken up.

Quietly Bella tiptoed down the hall to the master bedroom. She knocked on the door and when there was no answer, she tried the handle.

Locked.

The last thing Bella wanted to do was startle a pregnant woman out of a deep sleep, so she refrained from knocking on the door and retreated to the kitchen.

Emmett was standing tall amidst the stainless steel appliances, passing out cookies before accepting one for himself.

"Mom made cookies? All right!" he cheered as he shoveled a bite into his mouth.

The children were too busy with their own mouthfuls to correct him as to who had actually baked the cookies.

When Emmett's eyes focused in on Bella, he swallowed mid-chew and stood up a little taller. "Hello?"

"Um…hi, Emmett. I was…looking after the kids for a little bit while Rosalie got some rest," Bella explained softly. "I just tried to wake her, but the door is locked…"

Emmett grinned. "Smart woman," he muttered to himself. Then for Bella's sake, he added, "the kids will keep going in and out for mundane things if she didn't lock the door. I'm glad you could come by and help her out. It's hard on her when I have to work late."

Not knowing exactly how to respond, Bella simply nodded and then glanced at the front door.

"I didn't see a car out front," Emmett said. "How'd you get here?"

"My mother was doing some shopping in town and she dropped me off. I told her I'd call her when I was ready to leave. If it's alright with you, I'll just call her now?"

Emmett nodded and glanced over at the phone. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but his attention was captured by something on the phone display and he frowned.

"Does Edward know you're here?"

"Well…technically…no. But I did tell him that Rosalie had asked if I could watch the children one day this week. He was okay with me doing that," Bella answered, a little confused as to why Emmett would ask that question.

"Huh. He called. Four times." Emmett said. "He never calls here. I didn't even know he knew the number."

Everything that occurred in the next few minutes, seemed to happen randomly and of its own accord.

First, the doorbell rang.

Then, when Emmett went to answer it, Rosalie emerged from her bedroom, looking rested and exhausted at the same time.

And then Emmett returned, followed by Esme and…Edward.

"Edward?" Bella hadn't been expecting to see him.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Edward asked. When Bella nodded, he led her away from everyone else, to the privacy of a sitting room at the front of the house.

"Is everything okay?" Bella whispered when they were alone.

Edward nodded and cracked a smile. "Are _you _okay? When I found out you were coming over here, I knew it was going to be a long day for you."

Bella tried not to laugh. "I have been here longer than I expected. Rosalie is nearly impossible to wake up."

"That's why I told you to have some place to be afterward. Remember? If you tell her you have to be at a certain place at a certain time, she'll make sure she's up, but otherwise…you're at her mercy," Edward said in a hushed tone.

"So…how'd you know I was here?" Bella asked.

"I called to invite you to dinner and your mother told me where you were," Edward dropped his eyes as he stepped closer to Bella. "I wish _you'd_ told me."

His words were like a slap in the face, and Bella took a step back as if she'd suffered a strike.

_Was she supposed to call him at work? Bother him during his busy day, for something so trivial? Was he angry?_

"E-Edward…we talked about this. Y-you said it was o-okay," Bella struggled to get out the words.

"I know," Edward quickly put his hands up, his palms facing Bella in surrender, to calm her. "But when you told me about it, you didn't give me any specifics. I just meant…well…it would have been nice to touch base during the day…to check in. I had…plans for us tonight."

"Oh, Edward, I'm sorry," Bella's brow creased in disappointment. "I didn't think I'd be here this long."

"It's okay," Edward assured her. "Just next time…maybe you could let me know?"

"Of course," Bella nodded excessively. "But when you're at work…"

"You can call me anytime, Bella. Okay?"

Bella nodded. She tried not to let her uneasiness at the misunderstanding show, but it was difficult to hide how disheartened she was at causing such an upset.

She'd thought she was doing a good thing, helping out Edward's sister-in-law. How was she to know that Rosalie would lock herself away for hours?

_She should have known because Edward had warned her. He'd told her to tell Rosalie that she had plans – and he'd even tried to contact her to create those plans…_

"I'm sorry I ruined your evening, Edward," Bella apologized again.

"If you're free for dinner, you didn't ruin it," Edward smiled widely at her. "And if you're not, you still didn't ruin my evening."

Bella wanted so badly to believe him, and he looked so sincere as he stood before her, beaming.

"I just have to let my parents know," Bella said. "Uh…dinner with your parents or…"

"Yes. At my house, with my parents," Edward clarified. He reached into his pocket and produced his cell phone and offered it to Bella.

She accepted it, and upon opening it, stopped short. The numbers on all of the buttons had nearly been erased from wear. And since it didn't look like a regular telephone keypad, Bella didn't even know where to begin.

"Is there some kind of secret decoder to this?" Bella smirked as she held up the phone to Edward.

"Oh…yeah, I guess I need a new one," he laughed. He accepted the phone back from her and hit two keys before handing it to her.

_Only two digits?_

Her mother answered on the second ring.

"Mom, Edward's here to take me to his parents' house for dinner…"

"Yes, he told me," Renee said.

"He did?" Bella's eyes rose to Edward's and he looked back at her inquisitively.

"Yes," Renee went on. "He told your dad that the two of you would be going through your book this evening. You do have it, don't you?"

Bella glanced behind her at the quilted knapsack that lay to the right of the front door. She'd brought the book that she'd been reading almost nonstop since Edward had given it to her, thinking that she'd have a few minutes of downtime during her stint with Rosalie and Emmett's children. Unbeknownst to her, the kids kept her occupied every second.

"I have it," Bella confirmed. She said a quick goodbye and handed the phone back to Edward. "She said you'd already told them."

"I did. I figured you'd want to verify that for yourself," Edward said.

Bella frowned. "I trust you, Edward."

Edward seemed pleased with that statement and as he took the phone back from her, his thumb slightly grazed the back of her hand.

Bella felt shivers ripple up the length of her arm.

"Edward?"

Esme's voice from the kitchen was a reminder that they were not alone, nor should they be.

Her summons to her son had been a verbal alert, as she appeared before them less than thirty seconds later.

"Hi, Bella. Did you enjoy yourself today?" she asked.

"I did. The kids are great," Bella said.

Edward coughed his disagreement, but remained silent otherwise.

"I left dinner on the stove to warm so we'd better get going," Esme told Edward.

Emmett and Rosalie came to the door to see everyone out. Rosalie apologized to Bella for keeping her so tied up and promised never to let it happen again. At her inference that Bella would actually return, Edward glanced over at Bella and raised an eyebrow.

If Rosalie saw the gesture, she didn't comment. Instead she recited to Esme that she and the kids were looking forward to Sunday brunch and asked if she could bring anything. While Esme and Rosalie quickly tossed around salad ideas, Bella watched as Edward's oldest brother continued to glance at him awkwardly. Finally, Emmett placed his hand on Edward's shoulder cumbersomely.

"So…how's work, Edward?" he asked.

Edward looked up suddenly, as if he were shocked by the sound of his bother's voice.

"Good," Edward nodded. He and Emmett stared at one another in silence until Bella interrupted the visual contest.

"It was nice seeing you again…enjoy the cookies," she said.

"Oh, you know it," Emmett smiled, relaxing at her words.

Just as Rosalie closed the door behind them, Edward leaned over and whispered to Bella, "You made him cookies?"

_Was there a jealous tone there?_

"The children and I made cookies," Bella clarified.

"Oh…what kind?"

"Peanut butter."

"I love peanut butter cookies."

Bella tried to keep her smile at bay. He _was_ jealous.

Once back at the Cullen house, Bella felt rushed all throughout dinner. The conversation didn't flow as it usually did, and Edward continually eyed the clock on the dining room wall. When Carlisle cleared his throat and asked Edward where he and Bella planned to "study", it became apparent what the priority of the evening was, and why it wasn't dinner.

"I was thinking we'd meet earlier and that the back patio would have been great, but since it's late, how about the den?" Edward answered his father.

Bella glanced over at him, not missing the tone of his words. He seemed really upset, though his interactions with her had been the same as usual.

After Bella had helped Esme clear the table, she wandered into the den with her betrothal book in hand. When Carlisle retreated for a moment to check on coffee, Bella took a seat across from Edward and quietly questioned him.

"Are you upset with me?" she asked.

"No, of course not. Why would you think that?" Edward rounded the coffee table between them and took a seat next to Bella.

"You seem really upset about my being at your brother's today," Bella said.

"Oh…well…I'm a little irritated with Rosalie. She's very disrespectful of other people's time. And the fact that she knows how to act differently and she chooses not to…"

"She was just tired, Edward," Bella said soothingly. "Did you see those dark circles under her eyes?"

"She's the one who wanted all of those kids," Edward said with the wave of a hand.

"Really?" Bella inquired.

"Well…I mean…" and then the realization lit Edward's features. There was no way they could continue this topic of conversation without talking about his brother and sister-in-law's sexual habits and lack of birth control.

Carlisle returned just as Bella and Edward were bashfully looking everywhere but at one another. He looked between the couple for a moment and then took a seat in a wing back chair in the corner.

"I thought we'd start out tonight with a little quiz, all right?" Carlisle asked. When Bella and Edward nodded their agreement, Carlisle handed both of them a double sided sheet of questions.

"The questions are the same on both sides, so it doesn't matter which side you write on. I want you to spend the next ten minutes answering the questions listed there," he instructed.

Bella and Edward did as they were told and after ten minutes, Carlisle asked them to turn their papers over and start again, but this time, with a twist.

"Bella, I'd like you to complete the questions as you think Edward would answer, and Edward, I'd like you to respond as you think Bella would answer."

Bella looked down at the questions again. Answering them from Edward's perspective made them look entirely different.

_Would Edward place great emphasis on holidays? What would be his idea of quality time? What was his viewpoint when it came to money? Did he like animals? What kind of humor does he have? Did he like children? Can he cook? Is physical exercise important to him?_

"Okay, Bella, we'll start with you," Carlisle smiled at her after he'd collected their papers. "How do you think Edward would answer the question about cooking? Can he cook?"

Bella bit her lip in hesitation. She didn't want to insult Edward, but she'd never heard him talk about cooking, and his mother seemed to make every meal. "No?" she winced as she answered.

"I'll have you know that I make a mean grilled-cheese sandwich," Edward told her playfully.

"Oh," Bella responded.

"Edward, don't be misleading. You can't cook," Carlisle revealed.

"No, I can't," Edward said with a smile. "I can heat up, though."

Bella laughed.

"Okay, Edward. Your turn. How does Bella feel about children?"

"She loves them," Edward said without hesitation.

"It appears that way," Carlisle said as he read the answer Bella had listed for herself on the paper. "What about animals, Edward. Does Bella like animals?"

"She likes animals…I think?" Edward quirked an eyebrow in Bella's direction and she nodded.

"I'm afraid of big dogs, and lizards and spiders…and snakes…" Bella began rattling off.

"So rats are okay then," Edward asked enthusiastically.

"Rats?" She'd heard of people keeping them as pets, but she'd never seen the draw. They were not cuddly, nor were they cute.

"I'm kidding, Bella," Edward let her off the hook.

"Oh," Bella sighed. "On that question about Edward's humor, I'm going to venture a guess and say witty."

"I'd have to agree with you," Carlisle said, "even though Edward thinks he has a dark sense of humor."

It was a fun way to get the evening started, but when Edward and Bella opened their books to chapter six to discuss how their family relationships had shaped their life, the mood in the room shifted. Edward was interested and encouraging when Bella spoke of being an only child and being close to her parents and grandparents growing up. He actively listened when she talked about how she'd sometimes felt lonely and different from other children her own age.

However, when it was his turn to speak of his family, he spoke of his life only until the age of fifteen, when his mother had taken on the vineyard full time. He spoke factually, and not of his feelings at all, and even Carlisle seemed to be uncomfortable at one point.

When Bella tried to be as encouraging as he'd been only minutes before, and asked him what growing up with two brothers was like, Edward avoided answering the question directly. He simply stated that he didn't know anything else, and then told her that he'd promised Charlie he wouldn't keep her out too late.

It was only eight o'clock.

Bella was at home in her bedroom, alone, an hour later, wondering about Edward's strange behavior and the whirlwind of an afternoon she'd had.

The next day, Bella attended an orientation for new students at the university. She'd printed off the list of recommended and required textbooks and held onto them tightly as she approached the bookstore.

Two of the books that were on her list were brand new, and therefore weren't available in the Used Books section. Bella scowled at the price. Both books weren't even two hundred pages cumulatively, yet they were each sixty dollars. It seemed like a lot, but without any other option, Bella handed over the Visa gift cards she'd been hoarding for this occasion.

When she returned home, she was not surprised to see Edward's car parked in front of her parents' home.

"Hi," he looked up and smiled when she entered the house, however, it only took a matter of minutes for the smile to fade from his face. "How was your orientation?"

"It was good. Very informative," Bella said. She took a moment to glance down at her attire, wondering at what Edward seemed to disapprove of. The dress and shrug that tied at her chest was one of her favorite outfits and she didn't see anything wrong with it.

"An orientation for a six-week class seems like a bit of overkill, don't you think?" Edward asked.

Bella shrugged. "Maybe, for people who are familiar with the college. But I don't know where anything is, or what their acronyms mean, so it was great for me." Then, turning to Charlie, Bella told him about the cost of her books. "It was never so expensive in Montana," she said. "Oh, and I'll need an Internet connection, Dad. Unless you want me to do everything from campus?"

"Is that an option?" Charlie asked. The last thing he wanted to do was shell out the dough for a monthly high-speed Internet connection.

"Sure, John, one of the people in the credential program, he said that he does all of his work from the library because he doesn't have a computer at home," Bella added.

"I thought you said you wouldn't have to be on campus," Edward reminded her.

"Well…not all the time. And not in a classroom. But we don't have Internet here."

"I have the Internet in my office and an extra computer there. You can use it. Anytime," Edward said.

"Really?" Bella was ecstatic. Not only would it be much easier to work at Edward's office, but also she'd get to see him more often.

"Well, hold on a second," Charlie sat forward in his chair. "Bella needs to focus on her studies if-"

"Charlie?" Renee called to him from the back of the house. "Can you come help me right quick? Please? Hurry!"

Charlie seemed to deliberate for a moment on whether or not to leave the young couple alone and go help his wife. It only took him about two seconds to bolt out of the room.

"I brought you something." Edward pulled a small box out of a bag that Bella hadn't noticed sitting at his feet.

She turned the orange and white box over in her hands before she opened it and found a small mobile phone.

"I had to get a new one, and I got you one too," Edward said. "See…I already programmed my number into it. So, if you want to call me, all you have to do is press this and this and then hit send. It's speedial."

It looked…complicated. But Bella saw that there was an instruction manual that accompanied her new technology so she wasn't worried. She could figure anything out, as long as she had an instruction manual.

"I have your number plugged into my phone, too. See?" Edward hit a few buttons and then Bella's phone began buzzing and singing in her hand. Edward pressed a green telephone icon for her and told her she'd just answered his call. Bella looked down to see a picture of a cute puppy holding a heart-shaped pillow and Edward's name displayed on the screen.

"Aw, Edward. That's so sweet," Bella crooned. "Thank you so much."

"A picture of a swan comes up when…if…you call me," Edward said softly.

"I'll call you…everyday."

"Really?"

"Can I?"

"Of course!"

For whatever reason, Bella's promise of daily phone calls seemed to lift Edward's spirits and she was much happier to see the man before her now versus the man that had driven her home the night before.

Charlie arrived back in the living room and sat down in his recliner with a thud. He folded his arms across his chest and looked off into the distance, like a pouting child.

"Dad, look what Edward gave me," Bella held up her phone.

"Mmmph," Charlie mumbled. Then, thinking better of his attitude, he held out his hand, silently asking to see the phone. "Nice," he said when Bella gave it to him.

Edward stood up, stating that he had to get back to work and that he'd only stopped by to drop off Bella's phone.

"Bella, are you free tomorrow afternoon?" he asked as she walked him to the front door.

"Sure. What time?" Bella asked.

She felt herself go weak in the knees at the grin Edward gave her. "Call me," he quipped.

Bella giggled and when she looked up, she saw that Edward was looking longingly into her eyes. His gaze mesmerized her as she stared back at him.

They stood that way for an uncategorized number of minutes before Edward's phone began to hum and chime from his pocket.

"Just checking!" Charlie called out.

Bella laughed again and promised to call Edward in the morning to firm up their plans.

When the front door sounded in closing, Renee emerged from the back room. She cast a humorous glance over at her husband before asking Bella to help her out back in her herb garden.

It was a normal overcast day as the two women made their way to the side of the house where Renee had taken a few tips from Esme and planted her own herb garden.

"The tarragon looks great," Renee said as she picked a few leaves. "Mmm, smell that," she held the leaves out to Bella. "That's going to taste great in the veal I'm making."

"We're having veal?" Bella asked. "Any special occasion?"

"Esme overbought at the store. And I really want to try this recipe before I serve it to guests."

"So, Edward isn't coming for dinner?"

"No, not that I know of. Why? Did he tell you he was?"

"No…but…nevermind."

Renee looked over her shoulder at Bella. "Things going okay with you two?"

"Great," Bella stated too quickly. "He gave me a cell phone. Did you see it?"

"No, but he mentioned something to your father about it the other day. You two do need to be able to get a hold of one another a little better. He kept calling here yesterday when you were over at his brother's house. I think he'll feel better knowing he can access you directly."

Bella toed the soft earth with her shoe. "Daddy doesn't seem too happy about it."

Renee sighed and then let out a low chuckle. "If you look at it from his perspective, I guess this could kind of be considered outside the lines of what is acceptable. After all, it's not like we can pick up the phone line at anytime to check on what you two are talking about. And it kind of gives Edward a little bit more freedom than your father is ready to give him.

"But Bella, the bottom line is, we trust you. And if we didn't trust Edward to be the right man for you, then you shouldn't be courting him in the first place.

"And as for your father, well…just be patient with him. We were cleaning out the garage today and he found one of your old baby pictures. It got to him, I guess. And then Edward showed up a few minutes later…not the best timing."

Bella felt sad for a moment as she considered her father's feelings. She appreciated her mother's enlightening information, because it made Charlie's brooding and caustic glances easier to handle.

And when she found her father still toying around with her phone when she came back into the living room an hour later to retrieve it, she knew exactly how to handle him.

"You know, it would be inappropriate for you and Edward to be on this thing all hours of the night," Charlie warned.

"I know, Dad," Bella told him.

"And don't think I can't check to see how often and how long you guys are talking. I mean it, Bella. He had to have my permission to give you this thing, and I can take it back, just like that," Charlie snapped his fingers to emphasize his point.

Bella nodded as she took her phone from him, but not before leaning down and kissing him on his cheek. "I love you, Daddy."

And Bella also loved her new phone. She spent the evening in her room pouring over the instruction manual until she felt confident she knew how to make, answer and end calls. She even tried her hand at storing phone numbers – she entered her home phone and her father's work phone number, though she doubted she'd ever have cause to use it.

Still, despite her newfound knowledge, it still startled her when the phone sounded later that night.

"Hello?" she smiled when she recognized the picture of the puppy with his heart shaped pillow.

"Hi," Edward said. "I just called to say goodnight."

"That's so sweet, Edward," Bella said for the second time that day. "Goodnight to you too."

"Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams to you –"

"Bella," Charlie came barging into her room at that moment. "There's some guy named John on the phone for you about a…are you on the phone?" he looked at her incredulously, much like a parent looks at a child that is doing something they've just told them not to do.

"Dad, Edward was just saying goodnight," Bella said.

"Who's John?"

Bella wasn't sure whom she should answer first, as both Edward and her father had asked the same question.

"Edward…I have to go. I'll call you in the morning." Bella quickly snapped her phone shut and turned to face her father.

"I don't know anyone named John," she said.

"Well he sure knows you. Said he needs to talk to you about a textbook," Charlie held the phone out to her and then stood in the middle of her room with his arms crossed as she took the call.

As it turned out, it was the same John that she'd met at the school orientation earlier that day. He'd gotten her number from his roommate who worked in the IT department and was in charge of inputting student information for remote access students.

It was apparent that John had heard Charlie's barrage of questions regarding his existence, and he copiously apologized for is intruding telephone call. And though he only wanted to confirm required versus recommended textbooks on the syllabus, Bella knew her father would not look kindly upon the call – especially at such a late hour.

But it wasn't her father that Bella was concerned about.

Edward's voice had sounded haunted and hollow when he'd asked who John was. Looking back, Bella was sure it had been a mistake to answer her father instead of Edward. Edward needed to be reassured that John acquired her number on his own, and she hadn't given it to him. And if Charlie hadn't taken Bella's phone with him when he left her room, she would have called Edward back and told him exactly that.

Despite her worry over Edward's feelings, Bella managed to wake up feeling relatively rested. Nonetheless, the first thing she did once her feet hit the floor that morning was attempt to track down her phone.

"Your father said that he didn't want you to have your phone back before nine," Renee said.

Bella fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Mom, Edward is probably wondering what's going on. I need to talk to him," Bella said.

"You can't use your phone until nine, Bella," Renee stressed.

Bella sat down on a barstool at the kitchen counter and eyed the phone that sat on the windowsill above the kitchen sink.

"He's called several times," Renee added. "But you can't use _your_ phone to call him back until nine."

Bella perked up at her mother's intonation. "I can't use my phone…but I can use the house phone…right?"

"I never heard any rule against it," Renee shrugged.

Bella picked up the phone as her mother read her Edward's cell phone number from the display on her cell.

"Bella?" Edward answered immediately. "Is everything okay? We got cut off last night."

"Yes, everything is fine, Edward," Bella said quickly. She felt such relief at hearing his voice…and hearing that he wasn't angry.

"That's good. I was a little worried…how come you're not calling from your cell phone?" he asked.

"My father may have taken that away," Bella answered. "But don't worry, I get it back at nine."

Edward laughed and then stopped abruptly when he realized that he was poking fun at his future father-in-law (if he was lucky).

"No more goodnight calls then," he said.

"Maybe not right now," Bella agreed.

"Okay, well, my mother is dropping something off at the cleaners this morning. Is it okay if she swings by and gets you on her way home?"

"Sure. Do you have any idea when that might be?" Bella asked.

"Probably not until after noon. My mom always takes advantage of going into town and makes the most of it," Edward explained.

However, Edward's noon was more like Esme's ten o'clock. Bella could barely be considered ready when Esme showed up on her porch, pocketbook and driving gloves in hand.

"All set?" Esme asked when Bella opened the door.

Bella looked down at the denim pants she was wearing while she waited for her dress to dry.

"I'm just going to change into my dress," Bella pointed toward the dryer.

"Why? Bella, you look great and very comfortable."

Bella glanced over toward her mother but she could tell Renee was intentionally avoiding her gaze. It was her cue to Bella to let Esme's words lead. So with no further opinion on the subject, Bella simply added a scarf to her thin sweater before she, and her navy blue denim slacks, followed Esme to her car.

It was nice spending time with Esme in her home, just the two of them. They spoke like old friends about nothing of consequence as they prepared a late lunch in the kitchen.

"Carlisle got hung up at his office, so it'll just be the three of us," Esme said as she dished up a plate and set it aside for him. "Edward will be home any minute. Why don't you take a little break until he arrives?"

Bella welcomed the rest. She'd been going nonstop all morning, doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms and trying to get ahead on her course reading. The last thing she wanted was for the business of her day to show on her face when she saw Edward for the first time that day.

There was a sudden pause in the rain showers, and Bella took advantage of the opportunity to step out onto the Cullen's deck and look at the beauty of the vineyard and the surrounding areas. The sereneness of the nature had a calming effect on her, and she felt herself relax instantly.

She was so enthralled by the green sloping, rolling hills and the distant babbling of a nearby brook, that she didn't pay attention to the sound of a door opening and closing behind her.

Bella inhaled the clean air and wrapped her arms around her torso as a northerly wind whipped by and chilled the area.

"Cold?"

Bella spun around to see Edward, leaning against the back of the house, his legs crossed at the ankles. The wind toyed with the controlled chaos that was his hair as his eyes washed over Bella's form. The warm glow of his cheeks seemed to defy the chill of the atmosphere. And though his voice was friendly, the piercing gaze of his eyes sent a chill to her core.

"I didn't hear you come home. Have you been here awhile?" Bella asked.

Edward shook his head before he turned to look at the yard as well. "Did you get your phone back?"

"I did," Bella nodded.

"Oh…because I called you," he said. "To let you know I was on my way."

"My bag is inside. I wasn't thinking that you might call," Bella said.

"That's why I bought you the phone, because…oh, nevermind," Edward exhaled in slight laughter. He tried to mask his irritation with humor, but Bella saw through it.

"Edward, I'm sorry I didn't…"

"No, just forget about it. I've just… had a long day. It's not a big deal."

Bella nodded. "Okay." She looked at him for a long while, but he kept his gaze out over the yard. She searched her mind for a topic of conversation to fill the void between them.

"So, how does it work, your dad giving you land?" Bella asked.

"Why do you ask?" Edward finally turned and looked at her.

"Well, is it a matter of birth order? Like Emmett gets first pick and then Jasper and then you?"

"Something like that," Edward stated mildly as he looked down at the ground.

"So how did you end up getting the best plot of land?" Bella smiled at him.

Edward's head shot up and he looked at her harshly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Taken aback by his change in demeanor, Bella's hand clung to her chest in anxiety and she looked up at him with wide eyes. "N-nothing. I j-just saw the other side of your property the other day when I was at your brother's and…it's just really nice."

"Did my mother put you up to this?" Edward asked.

"Put me up to what?"

"I chose to buy a house instead of build on that land. It's my decision, Bella. And if you and my mother are cohorts to change my mind…"

"Okay, Edward, I have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't know what your plans were for the land and I certainly didn't know you bought a house," Bella said.

"Well…it's still in escrow, but yes, I bought a house. And it's better than anything I could have built," he added.

Bella considered asking why he would want to abandon such a beautiful piece of property, but it was obviously a sore subject; she'd never seen such an unprovoked outburst from him before.

During the silence that followed, Bella thought Edward was calming down, but his behavior during their afternoon meal showed no improvement. He was distant and irritated and fidgety as he sat beside Bella at the table.

And though it took Bella a few moments to read between the lines of his comments, it wasn't until Esme remarked about Bella's purse ringing that she realized that he was very upset – with her.

"Yes, that was Edward," Bella said. "He called on his way home from work."

"At least I think it was me," Edward piped up. "Did you want to check? It could have been John."

"Who's John?" Esme asked.

Bella gasped. "John is no one. I mean, he's not no one, he's a student in the credential program with me. I just met him yesterday at the orientation and he called my house last night to ask a question about the syllabus." Then for Edward's sake, she added, "He does not have my cell phone number. Aside from my parents, Edward, you are the only one."

Bella structured her words carefully. _You're the only one, Edward._ She wasn't just talking about the phone.

"Why'd you give him your number?" Edward asked.

"I didn't. He got someone who works at the college to get it for him," Bella said.

"Well that is not right," Esme said. "People should not invade someone's privacy for their own personal gain."

Bella nodded, thankful for what Esme was trying to do – put blame where it was properly due, but Edward didn't seem to be swayed by her words. He didn't comment either way, on John's guilt or Bella's innocence.

"Oh, I forgot the bread!" Esme jumped up from the table, but her motives were obvious. She wanted to leave for a moment to give Bella and Edward the opportunity to clear the air and disperse the tension in the room.

"Hey," Bella said as she gently put her hand on Edward's leg underneath the table.

But she wasn't able to get out the rest of her sentence, as the contact made him jump out of his skin.

"What are you doing?" he asked accusingly as he abruptly stood up. He grabbed his napkin from the table and held it in front of him as he hastily left the room, nearly knocking his mother over in the process. "Mom, can you please take Bella home when she's finished?"

"Edward, what's going on?" Esme asked her retreating son.

"I don't feel well," Edward said as he took the stairs two at a time.

Bella didn't even try to conceal the fact that she was crying. Deep, sorrowful sobs shook her small frame as she thought back to all of the things that had caused Edward to be so upset with her.

Esme pulled out the chair next to Bella and took a seat. She rubbed small circles on Bella's back and tried her hardest to soothe the inconsolable woman.

"Men are such basic creatures," Esme said in a low voice as her hand moved over Bella's shoulders. "They need their three S's, don't they?" She turned and looked over at the stairs that Edward had just ascended in escape. "Well…he's had his sleep, and he's had his supper…"

If it hadn't been for their brief collision in the hall, where Esme had gotten a glimpse of exactly what Edward's problem was, Esme would have marched up those stairs and dragged Edward down by his ears.

But Esme did see. And though she had no personal experience in the perceived issue, she knew from raising three boys, that at a certain time in a man's life, certain deprivations became unbearable and manifested themselves in distinct ways - often aggression and anger.

She also knew that there was nothing, as a mother, that she could do for her adult son. So Esme would do her best to console the beautiful, spirit before her, and she would leave her husband to the tormented man upstairs.

* * *

Check on the forum on this story on Twilighted for more information regarding this chapter.

Also, if you'd like a reading alternative to this site, my stories are listed at a different forest (www . adifferentforest . com)

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	15. Chapter 14 Conflict Resolution, Part 1

_**Conflict Resolution. **__Managing conflict is one of the most important skills that young Cannabean couples should learn, and the earlier these skills are instituted in a relationship, the more successful that relationship is. At the heart of conflict resolution is communication – and not incidentally, the inability to communicate is at the heart of most conflict._

**Part 1**

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Edward lay staring at the ceiling as he wrestled with getting his breathing, and his thoughts, under control.

He hadn't had a wet dream in years, and despite the pleasant and satisfying way books and media tried to describe them, Edward found wet dreams to be anything but.

They were messy and inconvenient and embarrassing. They were also exhausting, and as Edward made his way to the bathroom to clean himself off, he felt like he'd only had two hours of sleep, instead of the intermittent seven hours he'd actually gotten.

While he was in the shower washing away all traces of his lust, the dream that had gotten to him during his slumber threatened to visit his consciousness. Everywhere he turned, something would catch his eye and lead his mind to an impure thought of the girl who, in such a short period of time, had entered in and taken up residence in his heart.

When Edward tried to distract himself by washing his hair, the silky feel of his lathered-up tresses brought to mind Bella's hair. He'd only gotten intermittent opportunities to touch it – when he'd help her put her jacket on or when his hand rested casually on the back of her chair. But the feel of it was engraved into his memory. Suddenly the thought of the velvety, chestnut hair that cascaded down feminine shoulders, led to thoughts of feminine hair in other places. Images of a naked Bella, spread wide before him, giving him a peek at what lay beneath a patch of dark-tinged downy…

"You've got to be kidding me," Edward muttered as an erection sprung to life, once again.

Quickly he reached for the water dial and turned it to cold, shocking his system into submission with the penalty.

After quickly drying off and dressing, Edward ripped the sheets off his bed, careful to avoid touching the offensive stains as he rolled them into a ball and headed down the hall to the laundry room.

Two years ago, the Cullen's washing machine had finally twirled its last spin cycle and Esme had dedicated two weeks to researching the perfect machine. What she'd settled on was a machine that looked like it had been pulled directly out of the 1950's and painted with a twenty-first century flair.

However, with its multitude of knobs and buttons, it was almost impossible to figure out how to operate it.

Edward stuffed his bedding inside, closed the lid and then stood back and stared at the instrument panel in irritation.

Water temperature? _It didn't decide that on its own?_ Medic rinse? _Was that for hospital scrubs? _Permanent? _Permanent what? Permanent stain removal? _

"No, I'd like it to be temporary," Edward rolled his eyes.

"What's that, dear?" Esme said as she rushed into the laundry room carrying a load of her own.

"Uh…nothing. I just…don't know how to start this thing," Edward complained.

"Oh," Esme came over and lifted the lid to see what he had inside. "Well you hardly have anything in there. Do you just want me to add your load to mine? It'll save-"

"No thank you," Edward said. "That…uh…something's been bothering my allergies and I want to wash without detergent to see if that makes a difference."

Esme didn't say anything for a few minutes; she appraised Edward silently before reaching over and tweaking a few dials on the machine. The sound of the appliance filling with water started soon after.

Edward couldn't get out of that room fast enough. "I have to get to work," he called over his shoulder as he made a quick exit.

"Have a good day!" Esme called after him.

It was a nice sentiment, but Esme's words couldn't have been further for the truth for Edward that morning. Aside from the "sticky situation" he woke up to, work was uncharacteristically challenging. Suppliers lost shipments, clients lost customers and Edward lost time and money as he sought to rectify issues that weren't his fault in the first place. By two o'clock that afternoon, he was running for the door in hopes of finding reprieve from the stress.

"There's a message for you, Mr. Cullen," Gladys held a slip of paper out to him. "Your mother called. She said she tried your cell phone but your weren't answering it."

"That's because I was talking to a client," Edward muttered as he accepted the lime colored note. "Did she say what she wanted?"

"She just asked that you call her before you come home," Gladys answered.

Call before you come home. That could only mean one thing: Esme needed him to run an errand for her. And sure enough…

"I told Mary Harrison that I'd get her prescription for her, but I completely forgot and now she's run out. Can you go to the pharmacy and pick it up on your way home? You're much closer," Esme pointed out.

The word 'no' was right on the tip of his tongue, but Edward knew he had no legitimate reason not to do this one thing for his mother. It was just that he abhorred going to the drugstore. It was one of the few shopping options in town and there was always someone he knew there. Most of the time, Edward just wanted to go in, do his business and get out. This could never be accomplished at Chinook Pharmacy and Variety. The pharmacy portion of the store gave the retired element a place to meet up and talk about stiff joints and aching backs, while the variety portion appealed to every other resident that had nothing better to do on a weekday afternoon.

Edward muzzled a groan as he walked through the automatic doors and saw the line of people waiting to do the exact thing he'd come to do. He took his place in line and tried not to focus on any of the other patrons in the store.

That feat, though easy at first, proved to be difficult, when the two elderly ladies in front of him began talking about the one person he'd been thinking about all day.

"I went down to Bea's place yesterday. Her bursitis has flared up again." The woman speaking wore a scarf tied tightly around her neck.

"Oh no, that's horrible. She must be miserable," said her companion; the light blue hat she wore clashed with the burgundy, velour tracksuit she'd donned.

"Actually, she's not. She's so excited because her grandson has come to stay with her awhile. She's already got her mind set on pairing him with that new girl…you know the family that recently moved here? The Swans?"

Blue Hat did not know of the Swans, so Strangling Scarf went on to explain that Mr. Swan was the new mail carrier with the really sweet wife. She explained that they had one daughter who was really attractive and Bea thought she'd make a perfect companion for her grandson – and might tempt him into staying in town for longer than the two months he'd had planned.

Edward cleared his throat as if he were going to say something. The ladies even looked over at him in anticipation, but he remained silent. When they turned to look at him, he did realize that, though he knew they weren't Cannabeans, he'd recognized them from church. Surely they'd seen Bella with him and vice versa. Therefore, it immediately irritated him that Strangling Scarf hadn't informed her friend Bea that Bella wasn't available.

It was obvious that Bella was taken. She sat with Edward and his family every Sunday in church and dined with him at least two or three times a week. And…and…

Edward's brow furrowed into a scowl as he realized that, to an outside observer, it might not look like there was anything going on between he and Bella; and certainly not to an individual who wasn't Cannabean and knew of the restrictions during their courtship.

Immediately, Edward's imagination began to run wild. He conjured up an image of Bea, waiting for Charlie Swan at her mailbox so that she could introduce him to her grandson. Of course, he'd be some buffed out fisherman that Charlie would immediately fall in love with; a termination of courtship would ensue, and thus submerge Edward into yet another bout of scandal. The thought of being the targeted subject of Forks gossip and malicious whispers was trumped only by the thought of losing Bella to the imaginary Prince Charming.

By the time Edward made it up to the pharmacist's counter, his heart was beating so erratically that he almost asked for a prescription of his own. It was extremely disheartening to realize that, to the outside world, he and Bella were just two people dwelling in the same town whose paths may or may not be crossing.

When Emmett had been courting Rosalie, though he used the term courting lightly, they were together every day. From the moment the sun rose and until in set in the evening, Rosalie was either at the Cullen's home or Emmett was across town with his feet underneath the table at the Hale's home.

The community was a-flutter with admiration for the "beautiful couple" as people called Emmett and Rosalie. Everybody talked about them. Everybody knew.

It had been similar with Edward and Alice, though, looking back, people did tend to get Edward and Jasper mixed up a lot when it came to Alice. He remembered on one trip home from school, a lady who'd been a patient of Carlisle's asked Edward to pass along her congratulations to Jasper and Alice on their upcoming marriage. Edward had smiled and politely corrected her that _he_ was the one marrying Alice, not Jasper.

Two months later Edward had found out that his father's patient had been correct – Jasper _was_ marrying Alice, not Edward. During the course of the scandal that erupted from Edward and Alice's failed relationship, it had become clear that people had made assumptions and spread gossip about an affair between Alice and Jasper based upon body language, constant association and longing looks.

People saw. And again, everybody talked and everybody knew.

_What did they know of Bella and Edward? _

Apparently, not much.

Edward was determined to make that changed – soon.

"Mom, I got the medicine. Did you want me to drop it off at the Harrison's?" Edward called his mother the moment he left the pharmacy.

"That would be great," Esme said appreciatively.

"Yeah…and…were you planning on having anyone over for dinner tonight?" Edward hinted.

"No, why? Are you not going to be here for dinner?"

"Actually, I was planning on inviting Bella."

"Oh, sure. I'm making a roast. There will be plenty."

Edward ended his call with his mother and called the Swan residence to firm up his plans with Bella. Renee's sweet voice rang through the phone as she greeted Edward like he was already family. Her salutations instantly put him at ease.

"What can I do for you, Edward?" she asked, prompting him to tell her the reason for his call.

"I was wondering if I might steal Bella away for dinner tonight," Edward said.

"I'm sure she'd love that, but she's not here right now. Shall I tell her as soon as she gets back?"

"Um…sure. Do you…did she…will she be home soon?"

Renee was silent for a moment, and when she finally spoke, she sounded just as uncomfortable for having to answer as Edward felt for having to ask.

"She's with Rosalie today, Edward. I thought she said she talked to you about that," Renee rendered. "Rosalie was looking at a very long day, so Bella went over to give her a little break."

"Rosalie called Bella?" It was more of a shocking revelation than a question, but Renee answered him nonetheless.

"I think she was thinking that she'd do something to help out your family while you were at work…since you were busy. She told me that she talked to you about it, though," Renee emphasized.

"She did," Edward quickly added. "I just…forgot."

Actually, he hadn't forgotten. Bella had only told him that she'd offered to help Rosalie by looking after the children _some_ afternoon so that Rosalie could get some rest. Edward had remembered the laugh he and Bella had shared over the warning he'd given her about his brother's children; he also remembered that there had been no specific date or time discussed regarding when this babysitting session would happen. Edward would have preferred to know in advance, just so that he could be mentally prepared.

He understood that to Bella, the fact that he had two brothers was seen as a benefit – and the assumption was made that he automatically had two very close friends. Well, she knew that wasn't the case with Jasper, but Edward's relationship with his oldest brother had never been explained.

To say that he and Emmett were estranged seemed to be an understatement.

Emmett was the only person that Edward had expected to really understand what Edward had gone through when Edward had uncovered the betrayal of Jasper and Alice. Though Emmett had never suffered any such thing, Emmett understood the bond of brotherhood. All throughout Edward's youth, Emmett had been the one to drill home the importance of their solidarity.

"You don't disparage a brother," he'd say. It was something he'd picked up from a Cannabean youth conference when he was thirteen years old. Back then, there had been enough Cannabean youth in the area to warrant such a conference, but by the time Jasper and Edward would have earned the same rite of passage, the Cannabean number had so dwindled that they weren't afforded the same opportunity.

So they had put great stock into the little nuggets that Emmett had given them. Or at least Edward had thought they did. He knew _he_ did, but time would tell that Jasper did not.

And though Emmett had been just as shell-shocked as Edward had been, his reaction was much more passive, and it didn't take long before Emmett was indifferent to the entire situation.

If anything, Edward had thought he could rely on his oldest brother to identify with his pain and stand by his side during the debacle that ensued.

But Emmett, though he'd expressed disagreement with Jasper's position, had agreed to be Jasper's best man at his wedding and had thrown him a "groom's party", which Edward had, of course, not been invited to. In truth, it would have been the epitome of crass to invite Edward, but the event also signaled the first stepping-stone of many in the 'exclude Edward' campaign.

After several months of tiptoeing around one another, Emmett had finally told Edward to just get over it. He'd said that family was important and that Edward was being nothing but a spoiled, selfish jackass in his quest to deny Jasper and Alice their happiness.

"This isn't easy for them, either, Edward," Emmett had said. He'd defended the newlyweds against the attacks their reputations had suffered in the community as the results of having their digressions put on display. "Nobody's perfect, Edward. Not even you."

Then he'd proceeded to spew forth every instance of Edward's sin that he knew of. The open-mouth kisses and fondling of girls in the backseat of cars, the groping of breasts, the few times he'd allowed girls pleasure him with their hands and mouths… As if those infractions were on par with what Jasper had done to Edward. But when Edward had tried to tell him as much, Emmett had cut him off.

"You don't disparage a brother."

Edward had been so stunned by his brother's stance that he hadn't bothered to remind Emmett that the entire manifesto was to never disparage a brother in word _or in deed._ Though Edward may have had harsh words for Jasper's character at the time, they were no match for what Jasper had done in deed.

That was the last conversation Edward had had with Emmett.

And now Bella was over at his house.

Edward knew he shouldn't have, but he felt betrayed all over again. Edward was finally beginning to feel like he'd found someone who was _for_ him. Even in the limited amount of time that they'd known each other, Edward felt that Bella _got_ him. In those moments, though brief initially, when he'd let his guard down and relaxed, Bella's personality complemented him. She laughed at his jokes, calmed his fears and padded his pride.

She made him feel like a man.

And Edward certainly didn't want to lose that at the hands of his family… again.

To mask the frenzy of his thoughts, Edward made small talk with Renee for a few moments before ending their phone call. But all he wanted was to talk to Bella. Some reassurance that she was thinking of him, too, and that she was still his advocate. He just…needed her to be _his_.

That need was the only thing at that moment that could have propelled him to call Emmett's home. The seven digits sprung to memory as he set to dial, as if it hadn't been three years since he'd used them.

When there was no answer, Edward stilled his nerves by telling himself that Bella was most likely busy with the children. She might have taken them outside or had them engaged in a game. She wasn't the type to watch television. Edward remembered that she'd confided in him that she'd never had one growing up.

She was also, most likely, not the type of person who would be comfortable answering someone else's telephone.

That thought, however, didn't keep him from calling her again.

And again.

Each time she failed to pick up, Edward became more and more desperate to hear from her. Fortunately, a business call interrupted before he could call a fifth time. The call had been important, and it forced Edward back to the logical, rational thought processes he'd been known for before he'd met Bella.

But work could only distract him for so long and as soon as Edward had dealt with the bank regarding a wire transfer, he called his brother's house once more. When he failed to reach her a fifth time, Edward got behind the wheel of his car and headed toward home. After dropping off the medicine to Mrs. Harrison, Edward entered his house and prodded his mother out of the kitchen and into his car.

"Where are we going?" Esme asked as she dried her hands on a dishtowel. "I've still got the meat in the oven."

"Over to Emmett's. I need to pick up Bella," Edward said as he glanced at his watch.

"We're going to Emmett's?" Esme asked in disbelief. Then, as if realizing that her gawking might change Edward's mind, she quickly put down her towel turned down the oven and headed for the front door. "I'm ready."

Esme tried to make small talk as they headed for the other Cullen homestead, but Edward was too distracted to engage her. His mind wandered to one worst case scenario after another: Emmett telling Bella about the young Edward, about the two-week relationship Edward had hid from his parents when he was sixteen or about the "den of sin" he and his brothers had concocted to learn things about sex their father had never told them.

"…do you think Bella would like that?"

At the mention of Bella's name, Edward perked up. "Huh? Like what?" he asked.

"I said I was thinking about canning some preserves this weekend. Should I invite Bella? Do you think she would like that?"

Irritation was Edward's immediate reaction. What if he wanted to do something with Bella this weekend? Did his mother stop to consider that?

During the week, Edward worked really hard, and now that Bella was taking classes, their time together was that much more limited. Why wasn't it automatically assumed that if Bella had a free weekend, maybe Edward would like for her to spend it with him instead of in the kitchen with his mother pouring goopy fruit into jars?

But of course he didn't express that to his mother. He simply shrugged his shoulders before turning into the driveway of his brother's house.

The brick two-story house had been Emmett's pride and joy when he'd built it several years ago. When he wasn't at work, Emmett spent most of his time making his yard look like an outdoor showpiece. Time hadn't appeared to change a thing.

Edward could feel his mother's excitement as she stood beside him on the porch. He knew she was thinking that something had changed – that this was a break in the brother embargo, but that couldn't have been further from the truth. Edward just wanted his woman, and right then Emmett's house was the only means to make that happen.

When Emmett answered the door, Edward barely acknowledged him, aside from asking if Bella was there. And as soon as Edward's eyes landed upon her, his world righted, the weight lifted from his chest and he was able to breathe freely again.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Edward asked as he guided Bella away from everyone else.

She looked stunned and anxious as he led her away from everyone else, which, in turn, made Edward nervous. The words that came out of his mouth didn't convey his emotions at all and he could tell that instead of communicating how happy he was to see her, he was doing nothing but making her feel troubled and guilty for concealing her whereabouts.

He didn't want her to feel guilty, but he did want her to _talk_ to him. He would have felt so much better if he had heard from her that she was going to be at Emmett's house, instead of from her mother.

Just talk. It seemed like such a simple request. Couldn't they be like any other couple that talked over their plans for the day?

Edward repressed his discontent over the events of the day long enough to extend the invitation to dinner. He felt warmed by the twinkle in Bella's eye when she accepted.

_She's so beautiful._ The words almost left his mouth, but he sucked them down and instead offered her his phone to let her mother know that she was with him. He noticed that her hand slightly shook as she took it from him and he silently wondered if she'd ever used one before.

With that unspoken question, an idea was born.

Edward watched Bella closely while she spoke to her mother on the phone. If it weren't for the times he got to witness her exchanges with her parents, he'd never know what she looked like when she was truly at ease.

She looked at him in confusion when she ended the call and gave him back his phone. An unanswered question lay in her eyes. _Why'd you have me ask my mother when you had already told her you were taking me to your parents' house for dinner?_

The internal struggle Bella had whenever Edward asked her to do something was always evident on her face. Did she need parental consent or was it all right to go with or do what Edward said simply because he said it?

By creating opportunities for Bella to see that he and her parents were on the same page, he was hoping that she would get to the point where she would make that assumption, and the internal battle within would be subdued.

But Bella had surprised him by speaking the words that told him that she was further along in that process than he had thought.

"I trust you, Edward," she said.

He felt his face flush under the sentiment, and he reached out to touch her hand, disguising the motion by taking back his phone. The light in her eyes told him she knew exactly what he was doing.

"Edward?"

His mother appeared seconds later and stifled the moment between them. When Esme began speaking to Bella, Edward looked up and noticed Emmett looming in the doorway, and the peculiar way he was looking at him. They held one another's eyes for a moment before Edward turned away in discomfort.

He was surprised to feel the weight of his brother's hand on his shoulder not long after.

"So, how's work, Edward?" Emmett asked.

Emmett's tone was uncomfortable and tepid. But Edward recognized the effort and it made him want to put forth one as well.

"Good," Edward nodded. He wanted to be careful with his words; to not say the wrong thing and cause a scene in front of Bella. His mind raced in such a fashion that it paralyzed his mouth. Fortunately Bella stepped in and bridged the awkward silence with her parting words and her permission to enjoy cookies.

Emmett shed his uncomfortable exterior and became the person that Edward vaguely remembered as he responded to Bella. Edward couldn't help but feel that his brother and Bella looked like old friends as they regarded on another – something that he both endeared and envied.

Yet, later, after dinner, Edward didn't even realize that he wasn't guarding his mouth as he joked and laughed freely with Bella. When Carlisle sat with them and helped them along in their betrothal books, it was freeing to see that he and Bella were actually growing in their knowledge of one another. Without putting for much effort, he was able to answer questions regarding things they'd yet to experience together, simply by knowing her character.

It was exciting to learn of the similarities and differences that united them, that made them interesting. And as the night went on, Edward continued to regard Bella as uncharted territory that he couldn't wait to discover.

But personal questions reminded Edward that he and Bella still had a ways to go in their discovery of one another. Probing questions about his relationship with is brothers were unsettling and pulled at the strings of Edward's insecurities, causing him to immediately shut down.

He ended the night soon after.

The next morning began very much like the one before it. Edward was thrust from his sleep by the damp, tacky extract of his lustful dreams.

Another shower, another change of sheets, although this time, Edward forewent the confrontation with the washing machine. Instead, he balled up the sheets and hid them under his bed until he could be assured that he wouldn't meet up with his mother in the laundry room.

Edward didn't even bother to try and distract himself as he strolled into work, late, that next morning. He collected his messages from the previous day and waited until minutes after his secretary arrived to tell her that he planned to be out of the office for most of the day.

"I'm available on my cell if you need me," he said right before walking out of his office and into the mobile phone distributor housed next door.

Eric Plath owned and operated the only mobile communications outlet for fifty miles. While the store was usually busy and charged premium prices, residents were always assured a variety of devices to be in stock.

Edward waved to Eric and headed straight for the display case that held different models of smartphones. When Eric walked over to him, Edward held up his aged phone and requested an upgrade. After Eric had tried to offer Edward every accessory under the sun, Edward pointed to a smaller, sleek phone and requested to add it to his plan.

"You want to add a line?" Eric asked.

Edward nodded as he perused his plan options.

"If this is a phone for your office, then I would suggest-"

"It's not," Edward said quickly. He pulled out his wallet and set it on the counter, a hint that he knew what he wanted and he just wanted to get on with the transaction.

Eric prattled off a list of questions as if he needed to know their answer to assure that he was selling the right product, but Edward recognized a quest for information when he saw one. He knew Eric did not need to know the age of the individual or their gender to ring up the merchandise, no matter how frequently Eric insisted that certain designs were more comfortable for feminine hands.

Edward liked the way buying something for Bella made him feel. He considered buying a little gift bag to stick the phone in but decided against it when he realized that Bella might feel obligated to accept the phone if it was presented as a gift. He wanted her to have it, but he also wanted her to feel free to decline if it made her uncomfortable. From what he could tell thus far, Bella was uncomfortable accepting extravagant items. He was hoping to free her of that burden in due time.

It was still early when Edward left the wireless store, much too early for him to pop in on the Swans. To kill time, Edward drove by the home he was in the process of buying. He parked across the street to assess the activity of the area during that time of day, as well as get a panoramic view of the property.

It looked different.

Though he couldn't identify why, the vast home before him no longer looked like the hidden treasure it once did. Instead of the original feeling of finding a diamond on a dusty road, Edward wondered if maybe he'd just been so anxious to get something that the house had looked more appealing than it actually was.

"It's a nice house," Edward said aloud to convince himself. "It's just…do we need that much house?"

_We._

The thought brought a smile to his face as he imagined himself and Bella residing in that house, strolling in that yard and basking on that deck. He fleetingly wondered what kind of décor Bella would be interested in. Would she like the contemporary feel he was used to or the country style Renee seemed to favor?

The primary pelts of a nearby rainstorm interrupted Edward's reveries. He glanced at the clock in the dashboard, before starting up his car and heading in the direction of Bella's house. He didn't bother calling wanting his presence to be a surprise if they were home and a secret if they weren't.

Renee always pleasantly greeted Edward and made him feel comfortable. Charlie did the exact opposite, which was one of the reasons day time visits to the Swan residence were so appealing: Charlie was at work.

Or so Edward had thought. Imagine his surprise when he rang the doorbell at nearly ten o'clock in the morning, and was met by the penetrating glare of one Charlie Swan.

"Good morning, Charlie," Edward tried to remain confident as he spoke.

"Mornin' Edward," Charlie said as he stepped aside and let Edward inside. "What are you doing on this side of town at this hour of the day?"

"Oh…I had some spare time and I came to see Bella. I…I brought her something," Edward said. He held up the bag that held the phone as evidence.

"You know she's not here, right? She's over at the college," Charlie said as he accepted the bag from Edward. "Class orientation."

Edward nodded, even though he'd had no idea.

Charlie walked into the living room, phone in hand, as if it held his interest, but when he turned to take a seat in his chair, Edward could see that he wasn't even looking at it. He set it on the table between he and Edward and sighed.

"Something wrong with the house phone?" he asked.

"Well…we've had trouble getting a hold of each other…when Bella isn't home," Edward added.

"I heard these things cause cancer," Charlie nodded towards the box.

"That's never been proven," Edward said. He refrained from using the term "ridiculous" to color his sentiment, and instead offered Charlie a tight smile.

Charlie muttered something about a 'need it now society' and openly scoffed at the package. "You got some kind of monitoring system on this phone?"

Edward regarded Charlie with a blank stare while the comment registered. When he realized what Charlie was really asking – how were he and Bella's telephone conversations going to be supervised, he rushed to offer an alternative.

"If you'd like, I can give you the bills. They list the time and length of each phone call," Edward offered.

"I don't know," Charlie pretended to mull it over.

"Are you saying you don't want me to give Bella the phone…sir?" Edward added when he noticed the tone of his voice sounded combative.

"I didn't say that," Charlie said, his eyes regarding the phone once again.

Bella interrupted the standoff by entering the house at that moment, and her mere presence seemed to illuminate the home by a thousand watts.

When Edward turned to greet her, the smile that erupted onto his face, slid off the moment he got a good look at her.

She wore a dress that stopped just below the knee; her bare legs and ankles capped off by a pair of cream-colored ballet flats. But over her dress, she wore a knitted half-jacket thing that Edward was sure served no other purpose than to torment his senses.

He couldn't help but stare at the way the fabric stretched across her chest, both sides coming together in a knot between her breasts.

Her breasts…

Maybe it was the way the garment lifted and pushed…but they looked absolutely delectable from Edward's vantage point.

Suddenly the quiet seemed stifling and Edward realized Bella was waiting for him to say something.

"How was your orientation?" he asked.

"It was very good," Bella beamed. "Very informative." She looked radiant as she talked about her morning, and Edward felt as if a chasm existed between them when it came to certain aspects of her life. He felt like an outsider, an onlooker when it came to who she was outside of their interactions. And as she spoke of textbooks and Internet applications, it was as if she sought to exacerbate that emotion. She had needs, and she didn't yet regard Edward as one to meet them.

Edward tried to sway his mind away from such dooming thoughts. For a moment, even Bella provided him some reprieve when she seemed delighted about the phone and even committed to calling him every day, and without him even having to ask!

But of course that feeling was short lived when later that night, after he'd called to offer her sweet dreams and peaceful slumber, he heard the brusque voice of her father when he interrupted their interlude to tell her that she had another phone call.

Someone named John.

"Who's John?" the words were out of Edward's mouth before he could stop them.

But Bella didn't answer. Instead, she abruptly hung up after telling him she'd call him in the morning.

While Edward lay awake on and off during the night he'd made a resolution regarding his relationship with Bella. He simply refused to give in to the feelings of powerlessness and lack of control. He was the man, damn it, and if he determined that things needed to change then it was up to him to make that happen.

And things certainly needed to change.

Bella had barely even started school and already the program was eating up way more of her time than he was comfortable with. And when she wasn't busy with school, she seemed to be swayed by anyone who had need of her time.

Well what about Edward? _He_ had need of her time. But he seemed to be the only one she wasn't willing to give it to.

"I'm just going to tell her that this isn't the way our relationship is going to work," Edward practiced his resolve in the darkness. "And if she thinks I'm going to sit around here and wait for her telephone call, she's got another thing coming."

Though Edward expected to feel a sense of relief and strength at his vow, it was actually a feeling of dread and disrespect that accompanied him to sleep that night. And while he was tired and depleted the next morning, it had nothing to do with nocturnal emissions.

Edward was still hoping for that refreshed feeling that he often felt when he set his mind to something when he left for work early that morning.

He made it until seven-thirty before he gave in and called Bella's phone. When she didn't pick up, he proceeded to call her every forty-five minutes. She never answered. But when he finally stopped trying to reach her, her phone call found him doing exactly what he said he wouldn't be doing: sitting and waiting for her.

As soon as she began speaking, Edward realized that this wasn't the type of conversation that he wanted to have over the phone. He wanted to look her in the eye when he told her how inappropriate it was to entertain the audience of other men while bound to him in courtship. He wanted to read her expression as she processed how he felt about her lack of communication. He wanted her to see first hand, his disappointment.

And so he buried his feelings of hurt masked as resentment and made light-hearted conversation.

"We got cut off last night," he said. Translation: _you hung up on me to take a call from some other guy!_

She sounded so timid and meek as she assured him that everything was fine.

And then she'd made him laugh.

Her tone, when she admitted that she wasn't calling him from her new phone because her father had taken it away, revealed that she thought Charlie's antics were just as outlandish as Edward thought them to be.

While he hoped that she would quell his fears and tell him that this John person was a nobody, he simply wouldn't stop talking long enough to allow her to do so. Fear of loosing this opportunity, this possibility of what he and Bella could be together, gripped him so tightly that he couldn't demand the answer to the question he felt he had a right to ask.

He knew he had to face her soon, before he lost his resolve, so he made arrangements for his mother to bring her to his house that afternoon for a late lunch. Bella expected nothing out of the ordinary as she, once again, accepted his invitation.

A few hours later, as Edward made his way toward home, he mulled over the actions and events that led him to feel the way he felt. With every memory served to assist him in formulating exactly what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. Plate by plate he built up his armor of defense. By the time he walked through the front door that afternoon, he felt empowered and justified.

"Bella's on the back deck," Esme said when she spotted Edward searching for his company. "Oh, and Edward, look what she brought you. They smell delicious."

Edward looked over to see a large platter of peanut butter cookies resting on the counter.

That was the first chink in his armor. The second occurred the moment he stepped out onto the back deck and saw Bella, oblivious to his presence, leaning against the railing.

Bella didn't usually wear pants when she was around Edward and therefore he was not yet desensitized to the sight of her form outlined in such a flattering way. He stared at her in silence for a good two minutes.

A wind picked up and Bella shifted as she turned against it. She wrapped her arms around her torso, the action causing her shirt to extend against her body. Edward drew in a sharp breath when his eyes took in the effect the cool air had on her chest: erect nipples strained against the thin fabric.

"Oh holy hell…" Edward muttered under his breath. His body reacted immediately and he quickly moved to conceal the indication in his pants.

For a moment it seemed as if Bella heard him and Edward rushed to make his presence known before she discovered him on her own.

"Cold?" he asked as if that was actually what he was thinking about.

Her reaction revealed that she hadn't known he was there. Though she seemed startled, after a split second, she seemed very happy to see him.

Another chink in the armor.

When Bella asked how long he'd been home, Edward was reminded of how many times he'd tried to call her to let her know he was coming – all to no avail.

"Did you get your phone back?" he asked.

"I did."

Of course she did. So what was her reason for not answering any of the numerous calls he'd sent her way during the day?

"I wasn't thinking that you might call," Bella said.

But what Edward heard was _I wasn't thinking about you._ And a few more plates in the armor were restored. Because the last thing Edward wanted was to be unable to stop thinking about a woman who wasn't thinking about him at all.

"That's why I bought you the phone, because…" Edward felt himself loosing the slim grip he held on his composure. "Oh nevermind." He didn't want to argue, he just wanted to be heard, but a raging aggression was building at the pit of his stomach, and he felt weak to overcome it.

And so he said nothing more. He just stood there next to Bella, silently counting the treetops to distract and calm himself.

"Edward," Bella's soft voice stroked his eardrums. "I'm sorry I didn't…"

"No…just forget about it," Edward quieted her. Just his name slipping from her lips was arousing him. "I've had a long day." And before she could ask him about it, he added, "It's not a big deal."

There was a warning in his words. He was tired and punchy and he knew he needed to calm down if he was going to gain any ground on what was bothering him.

He was just about to ask about the mysterious caller when Bella started talking about the land his father had given to him and his brothers. She wanted to know what the criterion was for handing it out. When he inquired about her interest, she told him that she thought his plot of land was better than his brothers.

Edward bristled at the memory of an dispute that would probably haunt him for the rest of his life.

Shortly after Jasper had built the house he currently lives in, a surveyor came out to the property and questioned the Cullen's property lines. After researching several historical maps and real estate documents of the area, it was determined that the Cullen's property lines had been drawn wrong. When they were corrected, it opened up sixteen additional acres to the west. These new acres housed beautiful aged oak trees and a large lake. Since Jasper and Emmett already had property deeded in their name, it was only logical that the property would go to Edward should he choose it. And, of course, he did.

However, both Jasper and Emmett had felt that their father should have offered it first to Emmett, and then if he didn't want it, Jasper, before giving it to Edward. Carlisle had held firm that because Emmett and Jasper had already built their homes it wouldn't be fair to leave Edward without the choice that they'd had.

Eventually, the argument faded, but whenever someone remarked about the primo piece of land Edward had been given, it was like ripping the scab off of an old wound for Emmett and Jasper.

Bella couldn't possibly have known about the war that had been waged over Edward's plot of land, unless Emmett had told her. The notion that Emmett was using Bella as a pawn in his quest to prove that Edward was the favored son fueled Edward's irritation and he lashed out at Bella.

And he continued to do so, at every opportunity during lunch. Instead of face his feelings with direct conversation, Edward used cleverly concealed retorts to unleash his disgruntlement.

And then finally, _finally_, the subject of John came up. Edward's passive-aggressive anger was fully displayed when he all but called Bella a liar when she told his mother that Edward's was the call she'd missed while she was outside.

"At least I think it was me. Did you want to check? Maybe it was John," he said with mock sincerity.

Bella looked at him like she was trying to decode his words, but what she saw reflected back at her only resulted in her being hurt.

Esme instantly recognized the insinuation and asked Bella flat out who this John character was.

Bella didn't miss a beat in her explanation. Not only did she describe a purely innocent encounter, but she also validated Edward by letting him know that no other man possessed her cell phone number.

_That's what I need, Bella. I need no other man to possess you…except me. I want to possess you._

Though it wasn't a sexual thought, the words created sexual feelings. Edward swore under his breath at his misdirected arousal. As soon as his mother disappeared into the kitchen, Edward reached under the table to adjust himself – unfortunately at same time as Bella moved to touch him on his upper thigh – much too close to his hardened member.

"What are you doing?" he asked with an unfitting amount of emotion.

Bella's eyes immediately filled with tears and Edward knew he'd blown it for the evening. He stood up abruptly and grabbed his napkin to, at the very least, try and hide the very inappropriate bulge in his pants.

Edward could hear Bella crying as he sprinted up the stairs, two at a time. He felt like the world's biggest jackass, but he knew he couldn't stay there and face her. He had never felt so out of control in his life. It was as if his entire being was rebelling. His thoughts, his body, his speech – everything seemed to have a mind of its own. If he didn't do something to put distance between himself and Bella soon, something drastic was going to happen.

"I'm losing my fucking mind," Edward hissed to himself as he locked himself in his bedroom and refrained from turning on the lights.

Edward stayed in his room long after he'd heard his mother leave to take Bella home. The fact that his mother hadn't insisted he come downstairs and sort things out confirmed that she agreed his behavior had been appalling.

It had been more than appalling. It had been humiliating, egregious…and unforgivable.

_Unforgivable. _The word mocked him as he crossed the hall to the bathroom. He felt the pressure of its meaning as he turned on the shower and stripped off his clothes. Not bothering to wait until the water warmed, Edward stepped under the spray and bowed his head under the weight of the day.

Edward rested his head against the cold tile and mentally pummeled himself with harsh words. For the past week, he'd had arguments with suppliers, he'd been short-tempered with his father, he'd been tired and irritable with his mother, he'd been jealous and on edge and angry - all for reasons he couldn't begin to explain.

And then there was Bella.

When he wasn't conjuring up images of her in a multitude of different sexual situations, he was verbally snapping at her or reducing her to tears.

Edward sought reprieve from the memory of Bella's wracking sobs as he pulled a bar of soap against his skin. He watched the diluted suds run down the length of his body with disgust as he felt the tingling beginnings of an erection.

One thought of Bella and he was standing at attention. It had been happening all week, and Edward had had his fill of it. With a heavy sigh, he reached for the cold water dial – but then stopped. Instead of gripping it, his hand slid down his torso until it hovered above his penis.

With his eyes shut tight against his actions, Edward began to stroke himself with frenzied hands.

"Umph." It was a bittersweet sensation. The relief that his ministrations were offering were cloaked in shame - not because he felt guilt in the sin of self-love, or at the lustful thoughts that had perpetuated said sin.

Edward felt shame in the feel of the hard, cold, ceramic tile beneath his palm as one hand supported him while the other fisted him toward nirvana.

It should have been the soft, warm skin of a loving woman that he felt instead.

Shame rubbed in the fact that as a twenty-four-year-old successful businessman, Edward could travel the world, speak two languages and trade in four currencies, yet he couldn't even get a blowjob in his own bedroom.

"Mmmhhm." Edward bit down, hard, on his bottom lip as he gritted against the pleasure of his orgasm.

The pleasure was fleeting. The shame remained.

The tension had been released and Edward felt less befuddled and anxious as he wore a towel back to his room.

While he searched for underwear, he spotted movement through the mirror atop his dresser and he spun around to come face to face with his father.

"What's going on?" Edward asked, uncomfortable in the fact that he was practically naked before Carlisle.

His father looked weary as he ran his hands over his face. "Meet me in my office after you get dressed."

"Um…okay," Edward watched his father walked toward the door. "Any particular reason?"

But Carlisle didn't answer. He tossed Edward a contemplative glance before turning toward his study.

Edward feared the worse as he tossed on a pair of track pants and a college t-shirt. He wondered if Charlie Swan had had time to call Carlisle and threaten to terminate the courtship.

Not that Edward didn't deserve exactly that. He'd promised Charlie that he would cherish Bella – and thus far, he wasn't doing a very good job of it.

"I know what you're going to say," Edward said as he plopped down on the settee across from his father's desk.

"Do you?" Carlisle tilted his head to the side as he spoke.

"I'm assuming Charlie wants my head on a platter?" Edward asked.

"And why would he want that?"

"I know you know, Dad," Edward sighed in exasperation. But he decided to answer the question anyway. "I made Bella cry."

"Why?"

"It wasn't intentional. It was just…I don't know. I was angry."

"At what?"

Edward shook his head. "I don't know. Everything…nothing…I have no idea."

Carlisle allowed Edward to stew in the stillness of the room for a moment before he sat back in his chair and rested his head against his hands.

"Your mother called me when she was on her way to drop off Bella," Carlisle admitted. "I haven't heard from Charlie Swan, yet, but judging from how upset Bella seemed, I'm guessing I might."

"Oh," Edward said quietly as he stared down at his hands.

"Something you want to talk about, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

Edward leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees. "I think I'm going crazy," he managed in one breath. "I swear, Dad. I feel…like I've been abducted by a pod person. I can't think straight, I'm not sleeping well…I keep snapping at people…at _Bella_…"

"You're not crazy, Edward," Carlisle smiled and shook his head.

"Then why do I feel so out of control?" Edward's voice revealed his emotional state.

"Because you're in love."

"I'm not…well not yet….I mean…really?"

"You don't think so?"

Edward turned the question over and over again in his mind. In the time that had passed, he had continually seen Bella as someone he could fall in love with. In fact, he often found himself thinking those exact words whenever she said or did something that deeply touched him.

He was so focused on what would be happening in the future that he was missing the emotion of the here and now. He couldn't articulate when it had happened, but he could articulate that it _had_ happened. His 'falling in love' had turned into 'fallen in love'.

"I do," Edward said. "I do love her."

"Then it's time to start acting like it," Carlisle said. "What are you waiting for?"

* * *

Part 2 is forthcoming; it will be from Bella's POV

Thank you to my dear jjuliebee for talking me out of scrapping this entire chapter. If you like it, you should thank her, too.


	16. Chapter 15 Conflict Resolution, Part 2

**Conflict Resolution. **_Sometimes the resolution is in listening to the wise words of those who've gone before you…and sometimes it is just in listening to your heart._

**Part 2**

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Bella had been lying on her bed, face down, for the past two hours. Her mother had come into her bedroom twice to check on her, but each time, Bella had rebuffed her tender hands and soothing words. Yet each time Renee had asked if Bella was hurt or ill, it was as if she was reiterating that she would only listen to Bella's woes if they fit under those two categories.

Well, her troubles certainly did not fit under those two categories.

If Bella wanted to tell her mother the truth: that Edward had awoken within her desires and feelings that she'd never known existed before, she was sure her mother wouldn't want to hear it. Bella was also pretty sure that her mother didn't want to know that when Edward had kissed her, she'd allowed it without hesitation, and had spent every day since that kiss, yearning for another.

The brief touches, the smoldering glances, and the flirtatious laughter – it all ignited an excitement for the promise of what was to come.

And that afternoon, that excitement had bubbled over into action and manipulation.

Bella had been anxious to visit the Cullen home, to see Edward, hoping that their time together would end in a stolen caress or kiss.

But upon his arrival, Edward had clearly been upset, and Bella had willfully tried to curb his agitation with flattering words. And when that hadn't worked, she'd touched him. Or more like, stroked him. Her hand had fluidly moved along his thigh, her fingers applying more pressure as she neared the top. If her words hadn't gotten through to him, surely her touch would communicate that he was the only man she wanted.

Because, in actuality, Edward had initiated their "game" of under the table touches, that very first time he'd touched her hand, to let her know that it was alright. And subsequent touches had enunciated his choice, his acceptance, and his interest.

But now, it would seem that Edward had turned the tables on her. What he'd paved out to be okay, no longer seemed to be suitable. _He_ touched Bella whenever he wanted to, but when _she_ instigated touch…

"He flew off the handle!" Bella huffed to herself.

She'd been obsessing over that one wrongdoing because it was the only one her mind could attribute to why Edward had behaved the way he did at lunch. And while her actions might have been inappropriate, it didn't explain how rude and distant Edward had been. He'd said he'd had a bad day, but Bella wasn't so sure.

Before going out to dinner, Bella made sure to hide all traces of crying the best she could. She walked into the kitchen and began slicing bread and tossing a salad. Her mother didn't say a word, and Charlie sat in his easy chair, quietly reading his paper, letting loose an opinion every now and again.

"Everything looks great," he said once he was called to the table. Bella could feel his eyes on her, so she kept her head down. "No Edward this evening?"

Bella looked up quickly and then back down at her plate. "He's not feeling well tonight," she said, inconspicuously.

She didn't bother to look up to see if Charlie was okay with that response. She didn't want to see the question in his eyes. And for that reason, she avoided both her parents for the rest of the night. After cleaning up, she retreated to her room early, stating the need to get a handle on her reading for school. Then, to make sure she wasn't being dishonest, she read two paragraphs before falling into an intermittent and unyielding sleep.

There was no feeling of refreshment the next morning when Bella arose. She eyed her betrothal book that lay, set apart from everything else, on her desk. She had no desire to open it and read about how her forward behavior had caused a ripple in her relationship with Edward.

_Relationship._ They never called it that. They never called it _anything, _but that is what it was…is…

She emerged from her room emotionally and physically depleted at not being able to figure out where things stood with Edward.

"Morning, honey," Renee turned around and stared at Bella. Her eyes focused on the dining table behind Bella a few times before Bella finally took the hint and looked over her shoulder.

An extremely large and varied floral arrangement overtook the small piece of furniture.

"What's this?" Bella pointed.

"There's a card," Renee indicated to the small white envelope that was attached to the bouquet via a clear plastic floral pick.

Upon closer inspection, Bella could read '_Bella Marie'_ written on the outside of the envelope in a masculine scrawl.

Her hesitation was momentary as glanced nervously over at her mother before slipping the small card out of the envelope. Her eyes washed over it quickly before concentrating on what was written there:

I am deeply embarrassed and sorry for how I acted yesterday. If you

_can find it within your heart to forgive me, just this once, I can assure_

_you that it will never happen again. You are very precious to me, and _

_I vow to treat you that way at every opportunity, starting now. As soon_

_As we're together again, I promise you'll see the difference._

_ Until then…_

_ Faithfully yours,_

_ Edward._

The words on the page were emotion-evoking. Unfortunately, it didn't incite the emotion Edward was most likely going for. At the confirmation that she wasn't at fault for Edward's poor attitude and actions, Bella felt an overwhelming feeling of anger.

"I found them on the porch this morning when I went out to water the lawn," Renee said over the rim of her coffee cup. "I don't know if they were there when Daddy left for work. It was still dark out, so he might not have seen them."

Renee walked over to the extravagant bouquet and fingered the tendrils of a large stalk of lavender.

"It looks homemade. Do you think he made it himself?" she searched Bella's face for a reaction.

The flowers were beautiful, but Bella wasn't in the mood to bestow any compliments upon the gesture.

"He can't just give me flowers and expect everything to be okay. He was out of line!" Bella called out, now fully confident to voice her feelings on the topic. "He can't just be rude to me because he's had a hard day."

"Did you tell him that?" Renee asked gently as she walked toward the foyer. She stopped at the window to the left of the front door and slightly pushed the curtain aside so that she could peer out into the day that hadn't quite seen the sunrise. "He's been sitting in his car across the street for hours."

Bella was a little shocked by that information, and she came up to the window to see the evidence for herself. Sure enough, Edward's Audi was parked curbside on the other side of their narrow street, its contours darkened by the sunless sky.

Even from where she stood, she could see how troubled and unsettled he looked. His hair was no longer the calculated chaos that it usually was. It was flat where it was usually stood to attention, and spiky where it typically lay tame. Every few minutes, he'd run his hands over his face and glance toward the Swan's front door.

Bella felt sorry for him for a split second as she wondered exactly what his bad day had entailed. _Did he receive bad news? Had someone quit? Had he lost money? Had his reputation suffered?_

But almost as soon as those questions crossed her mind, a foreign emotion overshadowed them.

_Regardless of what his day had held, he didn't have the right to be rude and take it out on other people, and the sooner he learned that, the better._

"You can tell him that I have no desire to speak to him," Bella closed the curtains with a huff and walked back to her bedroom.

She could see him better through her window at the rear of the house, and Bella stole one more glance before she picked up her cell phone and tossed it in the middle of her bed. As she crossed the room to retrieve every other item Edward had ever given her, she noticed her mother watching her from the doorway.

"I don't want any of his stuff," Bella snapped indignantly.

Renee disappeared without a word and reappeared moments later with an empty cardboard box in her hand. She remained silent as she walked over to the small bed and began lifting the items from the bedspread and placing them in the box.

Tears rolled down Bella's cheeks as she watched her mother lift the things that peppered the bed: the cell phone, the boots, a jacket of Edward's that Bella had borrowed, a grape leaf that she'd picked from the Cullen's vineyard and a church bulletin on which Edward had drawn a heart with a smiling face.

And when Renee moved over to the desk and put her hand on the betrothal book, as if to ask Bella if that, too, was to be removed, Bella's only answer was a woeful sob that trembled through her entire body.

Renee left the book where it was and moved to the bed just as Bella sank down upon the mattress and buried her face in her hands. With calm and soothing hands, Renee rubbed Bella's back while she grieved an unknown matter.

"I think you were six…no, you had to be older than that…I think you were seven, when you accidentally broke Grandma's water pitcher. You were so afraid that you were going to get in trouble that you concocted this plan to run away, thinking we'd be so happy when we found you that we wouldn't punish you. Remember that?" Renee asked.

Bella didn't bother answering. She could tell by her mother's tone that she wasn't expected to.

"I had hoped that we'd taught you then, when you were punished for running away, not for breaking the pitcher, that the noble thing isn't to run from your troubles, but to face them head on."

"You don't understand, Mom," Bella sniffed. "I can't do this," she gestured at the box full of things from Edward. "I'm trying _so_ hard and I keep messing up. I can't make him happy. Something is _always_ wrong."

Renee ran her hand from the top of Bella's head down the length of her hair. "So you want your dad to talk to Mr. Cullen? To call off the courtship because Edward…how exactly would you explain it?"

"Edward doesn't want me," Bella sniffed.

"Right," Renee nodded. "Well, I can't make any promises, but if your father finds cause to agree with you, then he'll probably move to dissolve the courtship by this evening. It depends on what Mr. Cullen and Edward have to say, but if what you say is true, then I'm sure…"

"Mom…please," Bella urged. "I know what you're doing and it's not helping."

"What am I doing?" Renee whispered.

"You're telling me I'm overreacting without _telling me_ I'm overreacting," Bella inhaled as she wiped her eyes.

Renee tilted her head down to look Bella in the eye and offer her a soft smile. "I know it's hard, honey. But one of the things that make it so hard are the feelings involved…and there are feelings, aren't there, Bella?"

When Bella remained silent, Renee waved her hand toward the box on the dresser. "I think we're finished pretending here, right?"

"I'm not pretending," a fresh set of tears channeled down Bella's face. "I'm _scared…_all the time. I'm scared of messing up."

"And you think he isn't?" Renee asked.

"I don't know. He doesn't talk to me!" Bella raised her voice in exasperation. "I read the book, Mom. And there's nothing in there about being clairvoyant."

"You need to talk to him, Bella."

"I try, Mom."

"Not surface talking, Bella. _Really_ talk. Remember, this is new to him, too."

"And what if I say the wrong thing?"

Renee sighed and stood up and went to the window to peek out. "Bella, he's been here for hours. I think he's less concerned with you saying the _wrong_ thing, and more concerned with you saying _something._ Go talk to him, sweetheart. Tell him how you feel."

Bella stood up like she was going to listen to her mother, but then she caught sight of her blotchy skin and puffy eyes.

"I need to wash my face. I can't go out there looking like this," she said as she pulled at her hair for some semblance of order.

"You go out there looking exactly like that," Renee said firmly. "Let him see what he's done to you. Stop running away."

Normally, Bella would have balked at the idea of going before her intended looking less than put together. However, something about the way her mother had formed her words killed Bella's desire to contest them.

Therefore, it was with tear-stained cheeks, red, puffy eyes and a nose rubbed raw from an entire box of tissues that Bella left her bedroom and exited the front door.

Evidently Edward was watching the house, because the moment Bella's foot made contact with the brick porch, he was slamming his car door behind him as he half-walked, half-jogged across the street.

"Bella." His breath was short as he regarded her. "I'm so sorry." His eyes showed his lack of confidence in her acceptance as he held his hands out to her.

Bella stepped back from his touch and glanced toward the windows for her mother. She saw no one. She turned back to find Edward's eyes fixed on her face, and she knew he was looking at, as her mother had put it, 'what he'd done to her'.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

Bella merely shrugged. A part of her wanted to assure him that she was fine; that she hadn't suffered the entire night wondering what she'd done wrong. But the winning element of her conscience reiterated what had been instilled in her for her entire life: don't lie. Don't pretend you don't hurt. Don't pretend you don't feel. Don't pretend you don't care.

"Why are you sorry?" she finally spoke, her voice barely above the rustle of the wind.

"Why am I – Bella, I was horrible to you yesterday," Edward said, emphasizing the description of his actions.

"And you didn't know that yesterday? When you were being rude and short with me?" Bella pressed.

When Edward took his eyes off her and looked down at the ground, Bella took the opportunity to look him over – searching for any evidence that he was as distressed by their disagreement as she was.

Aside from the catastrophic state of his hair, Edward had half moons of gray under each eye, and he blinked incessantly against the cold air. His khaki pants were wrinkled and were much too dressy for the sports jersey he wore underneath a light jacket. When the wind shifted against his ankles, Bella could see that he wore no socks with the black leather shoes that he often reserved for church.

He looked a mess.

"I'm sorry. I was having a hard day and I took it out on you," Edward confessed, his eyes still downcast.

"What happened?" Bella asked, partly because she wanted to know and partly because she wanted to see if what he said truly warranted his behavior.

Edward simply shook his head and offered no words.

"Nothing happened, or you think I won't understand?" The cold wind assaulted her and she sniffed to keep her nose from running.

"It's not that," Edward looked back up at her. "I just…" he growled in frustration. "Bella, there are just…I can't…I just can't tell you enough how sorry I am. And I know that anything I say won't justify what I did. There's no use even trying."

Bella nodded then, and if it hadn't been for the fact that she was moving away from him, Edward might have thought that she was ready to put the matter to rest.

But, instead, she put a great distance between them before she turned a piercing gaze upon Edward.

"I came out here because I thought you wanted to talk to me, Edward. I thought you had something to _share_ with me. Not just about how sorry you are, but about something that happened; a burden you're bearing that maybe…that maybe I could help you shoulder. But maybe you can't share that burden with me because that burden _is_ me. _I_ am the burden.

"Well…I'm sorry, Edward. I'm sorry that everything I do seems to be the wrong thing. I'm sorry for not being…more like Alice and I'm sorry if you feel stuck in this courtship." She took a deep breath before uttering her last phrase. "Maybe we should have this conversation later…when my father is home. He can be strict, but I'm sure he wouldn't hold you to a courtship that made you miserable."

Bella hadn't realized the feelings behind the terminology she'd just expressed until the words came tumbling out of her mouth. She didn't even bother trying to hide the tears as she turned to go inside, away from Edward; the only sign that he'd heard her being the repetitive motion of his head shaking from side to side.

"You scare me."

His voice was so weak and powerless when he finally spoke.

Bella spun around to face him. "What?"

"My business trip…I came home early because I couldn't be that far…" Edward was clearly embarrassed to be revealing his feelings. "It wasn't the best idea. I _knew_ it wasn't a good idea…but I couldn't stop myself.

"And again, a few weeks ago, a client called me about an electronic billing issue. She went on and on about a glitch in their system that incorrectly read the micro coding at the bottom of checks. Only I didn't hear a word she said after billing because I immediately starting thinking about you, and how your hometown was Billings. And I started thinking about what kind of stuff you did for fun there…who your friends were…what you left behind.

"Before I knew it, several minutes had passed. My client nearly hung up because I wasn't responding to her at all. To be that unfocused…that scared me."

Bella nodded. "I could understand why you wouldn't want your business to suffer-" Edward started in with another instance before she could finish her thought.

"But it wasn't just at work," Edward continued. "I realized, I can't remember one church service since we started sitting together. I forget the words to the songs. Food doesn't taste as good, sleep isn't satisfying…_nothing _is satisfying. And the more time we spend together, the more intense it gets."

Bella didn't understand. Everything she'd ever heard about meeting someone and growing closer to them in a loving relationship had been made to sound delightful and enjoyable. But this – what Edward was describing, sounded like something she wanted no part of. It sounded like mourning. It sounded like pain. And it sounded like Edward was telling her she was the cause of it all.

"The only relief, is when I'm with you," Edward admitted. "But you make me feel like…"

Bella waited through the pause, charged with expectation. "How do I make you feel?" she finally asked when he didn't continue.

"Like I'm not good enough," his shoulders fell with the release of the words.

Bella's gasp was audible as she digested what he was telling her. "How can you say that?" Her eyes welled up with tears. "I've been nothing but encouraging and respectful to you and your family. And you heard me when I defended you to Alice. How is that making you feel worthless?" Bella trailed off when her emotions diluted the sounds of her words.

"It's not that you're doing or saying anything explicitly that makes me feel that way," Edward diminished the space between them in three easy strides. "I meant that you, just being yourself makes me feel that way. You are _so_ good, so perfect. You're nice and helpful and accepting and forgiving," he stole a peek at her before he continued. "And in comparison, it emphasizes how imperfect I am. I'm not _good_ enough for you, Bella. And everyday I live in this quandary between fear and guilt. I'm fearful of you realizing that you completely agree with me and then I'm guilty because, even though I know you deserve better, I don't want that for you. I should want that for you, but if it means I can't have you in my life…"

"Why do you do that?" Bella asked him suddenly.

"Do what?"

"Paint yourself with such a negative image," Bella concluded. "I'm not a betting person, but if I were, I'd wager that I'd be hard pressed to find ten people with something negative to say about you."

"You might be hard pressed to find ten people who have _anything_ to say about me. I don't have many close friends."

"That's a personal choice." It wasn't a question. Bella could see the natural way people were drawn to Edward when he walked into a room. It was his closed off stance and stature that kept them at bay.

Edward shrugged. "I'd like to think so. At least that's what I tell myself to get to sleep at night."

"You're doing it again," Bella reminded him.

"It's just the reality of who I am, Bella."

"No, Edward. The reality of who you are is someone who has become accustomed with not trusting himself, and as a result doesn't trust anyone else." As long as she was speaking her mind, Bella decided to let Edward know exactly what she thought of him. "And if you don't trust me, Edward, how will we ever truly know each other?"

"I think it's too broad of a statement to say I don't trust you. I have no reference point for how you'll react in certain situations. I'm learning to trust you," Edward explained.

"But you seem to always assume the worst with me. I understand that what happened with Alice was a horrible thing to have happen in a family. But that's their shame to bear, not yours. And I'm not Alice. I'm not going to hurt you in that way. I would never do that."

Edward looked conflicted as he contemplated a response to Bella's assessment.

"You've brought it up twice now, so I feel like I have to tell you that I am not comparing you to Alice. The issues I have with her and my brother have nothing to do with how I feel about her. I am not pining away for Alice, Bella. I do not love her and I never did."

For unknown reasons, it was a relief to hear Edward finally answer that question so straightforwardly. He had alluded to as much, but having him declare it so clearly relieved a weight Bella hadn't even known she'd been carrying.

But the issue of how Edward felt about Alice wasn't the point, and Bella refused to allow Edward to hide behind that.

"The phone call…you were upset because you thought I was seeing another man." Bella continued.

"No. I knew you weren't. But I didn't appreciate the fact that you wouldn't even explain who the guy was. I asked you point blank and you hung up on me."

"I didn't," Bella shook her head. "I was going to call you back when I had more information. Edward, I didn't even know who John was when he called."

"You could have at least told me that. You didn't tell me anything. And then you went over to my brother's house, same thing. I have to hear everything about you from someone else. I'm trying to grow closer to you, but you're not making that easy. I'm always the last to know everything when it comes to you."

Bella could feel herself wanting to shut down, her fight giving way to her flight. She was so bogged down under the weight of his accusation that she didn't feel able to thwart it.

Because it wasn't something she could argue. Surely he felt justified in his thinking, but she had absolutely no idea why he felt that way.

"I don't know what you want from me," she told him, shaking her head in dismay. "Anytime you've ever asked me to lunch or dinner, I've been there. I've never not accommodated you, Edward."

"You only let me have that one aspect of your life, though. It's like all I'm allowed to experience are Sundays and dinners and an occasional lunch during the week. You don't talk to me about school or anything else going on in your life. You didn't even tell me you were going to my brother's house. And then I get there and you've made him cookies. It's like everyone else gets to see a side of you that I don't."

Frustration flared up again as Bella felt like she was being rebuked for simply living her life. "I don't understand what I'm doing wrong," Bella threw her hands up in exasperation. "Just tell me what you want me to do."

Tears of anguish and defeat clouded her vision.

"Please don't cry," he pleaded. If he was aware that Renee was monitoring them from her post within the house, he didn't hesitate to disregard it. His hand lightly swept over her shoulder and neck before reaching its destination aside her cheek. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"See? I'm not perfect," Bella said through her tears. "You make me feel like I should know what the problem is, and I have no idea."

"The problem is…the problem is, Bella, that I'm absolutely crazy about you and I'm scared out of my mind that you won't feel the same way," Edward's voice ghosted as he moved his hand to stroke her face tentatively.

She let him.

The air stilled and nature silenced. Bella and Edward were left staring at one another, feeling stripped and bare.

"And you're not doing anything wrong, which is why I'm standing here before you, begging for your forgiveness," Edward said, his voice a soothing tempo. "I'll even get down on my knees if that's what it takes. I just need to know you forgive me."

"And I just need to know that you'll talk to me," Bella countered. "I need you to be patient with me. I need you to understand that I've never been in a relationship before. I don't know that you don't want me to go to your brother's house, even though you're busy at work. I don't know that you're interested in when I have a test or how much my schoolbooks cost. I don't know if my phone call about a twenty-minute trip to the grocery store will be important enough to possibly interrupt an international call."

"The only thing you need to know is that you are a priority. And I am interested in everything that has anything to do with you," Edward answered. "But I will be honest and say that it's not always going to be…appropriate for me to explain certain things to you."

Bella tilted her head so that he could look upon her entire face and see the confusion displayed there. "What does that mean?"

"It means exactly what I said," Edward answered cryptically. "I just need you to trust me when I tell you certain things and I'm unable to explain it."

"But why won't you be able to explain it? Is it a safety issue or confidential things from work?" Bella failed to see the big picture.

"Could be," Edward answered, giving nothing away.

"I just asked you to talk to me. And you're not doing it," Bella reminded him.

Edward sighed, but a mischievous grin highlighted his face. "For example," he began, "that dress you have with the blue flowers on it and that half sweater, jacket thing?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you…not wear that when we're together?"

_Her favorite dress. _He was asking her not to wear her favorite dress? _Why?_

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Bella wanted to know. She knew it wasn't inappropriate; after all, Charlie was okay with it. And Charlie was rarely okay with anything.

"It wouldn't be…prudent for me to answer that question."

"Why not?"

"Because you might find the answer offensive."

"Offensive?" Bella was worried now. "Is it…you think I'm offensive when I wear it?"

Edward allowed laughter to slip from his lips then. "Are you really as innocent as you seem?"

His question came off as a challenge and Bella's mind raced to unlock the puzzle. Her eyes scanned the sidewalk as she pieced together the clues that he'd given her.

Suddenly she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Is it something…_sexual_?" she whispered the last word.

Edward simply smiled at her question. "I think this would be a great trust building exercise. Don't you?"

The conversation was getting easier, but there didn't seem to be that finale Bella had been expecting when she had originally emerged from her house to face Edward. She'd expected fireworks and fan fare and then a great feeling of peace as they worked their issues out.

But what they'd experienced wasn't an issue to be gotten over and cataloged away. It was an exposition of personality traits that promised to resurface time and again.

They just had to remember the promises they'd made each other and the boundaries they'd revealed.

And Bella would bask in the near declaration she'd heard that painted all of Edward's remarks. He was crazy about her.

"No," she said softly as she cast a look toward the front of her house. Renee was there, with her back turned to the couple.

Edward went even paler than the chalky pallor he clearly held from exhaustion, and his breath audibly hitched in his throat. "I'm not forgiven?"

Bella reached out and intertwined her fingers with Edward's, testing his reaction. When he didn't recoil, she concluded, "I'm not as innocent as I seem."

Edward's amusement was masked by his devious expression as he tugged on Bella's hand, drawing her closer until they were standing mere centimeters apart. He rested his forehead against hers.

"Please say you forgive me," his words wafted across her lips.

"I forgive you," she whispered back.

They held each other's gaze for a long while, assessing what the moment was screaming for and whether or not they would comply.

Slowly Edward moved forward, his mouth so near to Bella's that she could feel the electricity of his proximity.

But then suddenly it was gone.

Bella looked up to see Edward's eyes locked on the front window. She followed his gaze.

Renee was still there, only this time she'd turned to face them, and though her expression was unassuming, she _was_ looking.

Even Renee had her limits.


	17. Chapter 16 Unraveling Expectations

_**Unraveling Expectations. **__Intended couples are encouraged to express relational expectations as an exercise in learning how preconceived notions set one another up for failure. By clearly stating what is truly expected of a man and a woman, fallacies and miscommunications can be minimized._

_

* * *

  
_

On Sunday morning, when Edward returned to the Swan's home, he looked more like a man coming to court than the disheveled man he'd been the day before.

He held his breath as he knocked on the door once he'd arrived to drive Bella to church. Just as he'd suspected, Charlie answered the door. Edward eyed him cautiously, wondering if Renee had informed Charlie that Edward had come _thisclose_ to overstepping his boundaries and kissing Bella.

"Come on in, Edward. Bella's almost ready. Renee' will ride over to the church with you. I'll follow behind in my car so I can drive Renee home after brunch."

Charlie's friendly greeting, in addition to being unexpected, was also a subtle reminder of the meal that would take place after that morning's church service. It would be the first time he and Bella sat together as a couple among his entire family.

Oddly, Edward was looking forward to it.

Soon after Jasper and Alice had gotten married, Edward had been able to avoid family get-togethers, until his mother's most recent birthday. But by then everyone had known how he'd felt, and everyone had left him alone. At that last family event, he'd sat at that table feeling much too lonely for a man surrounded by his entire family.

But on this day, there wouldn't be an odd man out. His parents would have one another, as would Bella's parents, his siblings had their mates and Edward had Bella. Edward would have someone too.

He smiled for a fleeting moment before an unfavorable thought crossed his mind. What if his siblings weren't cordial to Bella? What if Jasper said something hurtful or vindictive about his past in front of Charlie? What if he spoke glibly of indiscretions to Bella before Edward had had a chance to make a full disclosure?

The 'what-ifs' were suffocating, and causing the pained expression that Edward wore upon his face. He glanced up and noticed the cautious way Charlie was watching him. Quickly he subdued the negative thoughts and focused his attention on the chestnut-haired beauty that was entering the room.

"Good morning, Edward," Bella smiled shyly when she saw him.

"Good morning, Bella," Edward smiled in return. He held her gaze until he saw what he was looking for: the assurance that all was okay; that their previous argument was water under the bridge. He found affection in her eyes, and he hoped she saw it reflected as she looked into his.

"Well okay then," Charlie clasped his hands together loudly and breached the private moment between the enamored pair.

Everyone filed out of the house, Charlie on his own, and Renee trailing behind Edward and Bella as they made their way to his car.

Once they'd arrived at the church, Edward was happy to see that their early arrival granted he and Bella some time to talk without the focused attention of their chaperones, who didn't feel the need to hover over them in the church foyer.

"You look really nice," Edward told Bella in a tone low enough that only she could hear.

"Thanks…uh…so do you," she assured him. He watched as she looked down at the dress she was wearing, and he immediately knew what she was thinking. However, though he could tell her she looked beautiful, and her outfit was tasteful and appropriate, there was no way he could tell her that she wasn't tantalizing.

But at least she wasn't wearing that half-sweater jacket that emphasized her breasts.

As the morning wore on, Edward and Bella became more sure-footed around one another and confident that neither was harboring ill feelings against the other. While they sat next to each other during the church service, they inconspicuously doodled notes and pictures back and forth until Bella saw Esme glance in their direction curiously. Bella could barely stifle her laughter at being caught like a lovesick schoolgirl, passing notes in the back of a classroom.

After church, the Cullens and the Swans assembled in the church foyer once again in preparation for meeting up at the Cullen estate for lunch. Edward and Bella stood off to the side, grateful once again for the opportunity to talk unhindered.

"After everyone leaves, my father said he'd go over chapter fourteen with us," Edward stated. After the meal was over, Bella would remain with Edward for the remainder of the day, as she often did on Sundays, and then would go home with her parents later that evening when they returned to the Cullen home to attend the Cannabean service.

Bella patted the quilted bag she was carrying with her to indicate that she'd brought her betrothal book along. "I've got it right here," she said.

_Of course she did_, Edward smiled to himself. Of the many things he valued about Bella, her responsible and diligent nature were among his favorite of her attributes. He'd never met anyone as prepared as she was – a fact that lent itself to her intellect.

Bella was quickly shattering many of the expectations Edward held for what kind of woman he thought he'd marry. He'd always thought he wanted a demure and passive companion, but Bella, though she had a quiet spirit about her, could communicate a multitude simply through her facial expressions and her body language; and when pressed, through her words.

Edward found himself craving to know what she had to say about many things. Her viewpoints often complemented his, and when they didn't, she always left him feeling as if there was something to think about. Slowly, she was etching away at his secretive, withdrawn nature, and he found himself optimistic about sharing many things with her.

Two days ago, he'd brashly let the cat out of the bag regarding the house he was in the process of buying. Her reaction had immediately bathed him in guilt. She didn't question his authority or right to make the decision, she'd simply looked at him like she didn't understand his motivation. He'd seen the question in her eyes: _Why? Why must it be a secret? _

It was a question that he couldn't answer. So on the way home from church, Edward took Bella on a detour as they made their way back toward the Cullen home. As he turned down the street he'd been frequenting in the past weeks, he slowed the car to a crawling speed to give Bella a good look at the matter he now wanted her to weigh in on.

"Is this the house?" she deduced.

He nodded. "Do you…like it?"

"Well…it certainly is nice," Bella stated quickly. Her expression was sincere, but something about it just wasn't right. "Can you see yourself living there?"

"What do you mean?" Edward asked.

"When you see _your_ perfect house in your mind, does this one have similar aspects?" Bella clarified.

Edward's brow creased in thought. "Well…of course not all of the elements are there. But some…like the big front yard. I'm used to a lot of space."

The Cullens had a vast amount of land and when Edward was young, he and his brothers had grown accustomed to being able to run free for miles in any direction.

"What about your perfect house? What does it look like?" Edward asked as he made a u-turn and headed back toward home.

"It's a light color…beige or tan, with shutters. But not real shutters, just the decorative ones. And there are lots of windows. Georgian windows, double paned. Um…a Tuscan-style garage door with those black brackets…what are those called?"

"I don't know, but I see you've given this some thought," Edward laughed. "That was pretty detailed."

Renee reminded them of her presence in the backseat, just then, by laughing and revealing the source of Bella's home-style knowledge. "My father was an architect apprentice before he met my mother. He always thought he'd become an architect, but there just wasn't time or money for it after he got married. But he loved it. Everytime he saw a structure, he'd state the style of all the elements. Bella was a pro at windows, doors and lighting fixtures by the time she was ten years old."

"Wow…and here I thought I was hot stuff because I knew what ranch-style and Tudor meant," Edward laughed.

"Tudor homes are quaint. Very English," Bella smiled up at him.

Edward looked over and grinned, but said nothing else on the matter of the house. He didn't need to hear her answers to any questions he might ask to know she would be appeasing him. He'd seen her face light up before when she'd seen something she'd like – much like it did when she spoke of her dream home. That light was absent when she looked upon the house that Edward had just shown her. It was abundantly clear that she wasn't a fan of the house he'd selected.

Knowing this didn't seem as unimportant as Edward had always thought it would be. Early on, he figured that he'd be the one to select the home, the type of car the family drove, the place of education for the children… It never dawned on him that not only should he get input on these issues, but that he actually might _want_ to.

Edward decided to save that discussion for a more appropriate time. Presently, his mind was battling thoughts of insecurity and discomfort surrounding the family brunch that was about to take place. When Edward reached his home, he noticed, in addition to his father's car, three other vehicles present as well.

They were all there. Inside. Waiting. Talking. Anticipating.

Knowing that was all it took for Edward to give in to the tension that he'd been feeling all morning. He silently parked and sat stoically, his keys in his hand.

Renee exited the car as soon as its motion ceased, but Bella and Edward remained seated.

"Hey," Bella touched his hand, confident that her parents couldn't see the gesture. "Talk to me. How are you feeling?" It was a tentative touch, and Edward could tell that she was testing the waters.

Boldly, he turned his hand over and engulfed Bella's fingers in his, tightly. "For the first time in a long while, I actually feel like I belong in there with everyone else."

When Charlie started to pace across the front porch, his eyes riveted to Edward's car, the couple took the hint and emerged from the vehicle looking as innocent as their countenance would allow. Edward passed quickly to Bella's side of the vehicle to help her out of the car. Concealed by the open door, his hand found hers once again, and when their eyes did the same, Edward fleetingly pursed his lips, as if kissing the air between them.

A promise of more to come.

The Cullen house was a flutter of activity when Bella and Edward entered right behind Charlie. The women segregated themselves in the kitchen while the men went into the family room to play with the kids and talk.

All the men, that is, except Edward.

He watched as Alice eyed Bella furtively before slowly making her way past everyone else and over to her.

"Hi, Bella," Edward heard Alice begin. "H-how are you?"

"Oh, I'm great, thanks," Bella answered as if she'd just spoken to Alice the day before. "How are you doing?"

"Good."

"So…should we be doing something? It looks like Esme has pretty much taken care of everything," Bella said as she looked around. As her eyes scanned the kitchen countertops laced with food, she caught sight of Edward watching her. It didn't take her long to walk over to him.

"What's wrong?" she whispered to him.

"Nothing," Edward shook his head. He cast a quick glance over her shoulder at Alice, whom he wasn't surprised to see watching them surreptitiously.

"You're nervous," Bella told rather than asked him. "Edward, this is where _you_ live. Everyone else is a guest. Don't let them make you uncomfortable in your own home."

Edward smiled at her encouragement. He liked how it felt to have someone on his side, whispering words that no one else heard.

And for that reason, he didn't correct her. For, he wasn't nervous or uncomfortable because his family was in his home. He didn't fear that they would make him feel like an outsider – quite the contrary. He was afraid that since Bella and her family was present, that they'd try to put on a show as one big, happy family; and Edward wasn't sure he could play along with that.

Esme called everyone to the table and by the time Edward and Bella made it to the dining room, there was no choice left as to where they would sit. The only two empty seats were between Jasper and Carlisle. Edward hesitated to sit next to his brother, but he didn't want to make Bella sit next to him, either. The last time she'd interacted with Jasper, he'd been drunk. It was uncomfortable, but Edward couldn't do that to Bella.

However, before he could take the seat, Bella pulled back the chair and sat down, right next to Jasper. She looked over at Edward, expectantly, as if he were holding up the meal by standing. Without another word, he took a seat next to his father.

_Is this okay? Do you want another seat? _Edward's eyes sought Bella's for an answer.

_It's fine, Edward. I'm fine,_ hers returned.

"Relax," she whispered as she leaned toward him under the guise of adjusting his silverware.

When Carlisle ushered the families into a prayer of thanks for their meal, Edward wasted no time taking Bella's hand in his own. And when the prayer was over, he looked down the table and saw that she'd quickly released Jasper's hand though she continued to hold on to Edward's. The warmth that surrounded his heart overflowed and dripped down into the pit of his stomach. Underneath the table, Edward pulled Bella's palm to rest flat against his knee before laying his hand atop hers.

They were the only ones at the table eating one-handed.

It didn't take long before several conversations were intersecting across the table. Rosalie and Renee were talking about polished cotton versus Egyptian cotton sheets; Jasper and Esme were discussing crops and vines; Emmett and Elijah were telling Carlisle about the model airplane they were building; Alice interacted with her nieces and Charlie's eyes were glued to the woman he still regarded as a little girl, quietly trying to butter her bread with one hand and the man beside her spearing vegetables, one by one.

"Aunt Bella?" there was a pause before a small voice continued, "Are you ever babysitting us again?"

Edward's head snapped quickly in his brother's direction. He didn't know what his brother or Rosalie had told their children to call Bella, but their timing was a little off. Bella wasn't their aunt…yet.

When Emmett didn't return his gaze, Edward turned upon Bella, apologetic for the awkward moment.

However, Bella didn't seem to be uncomfortable at all. She smiled across the table at Abigail and winked. "Maybe your Uncle Edward and I will come pay you a visit sometime soon."

When Abigail looked to Edward for confirmation, he nervously cleared his throat and nodded. "Sure, sweetheart," he told her.

"Can we play on your tree?" Elijah piped up. "My dad said we're not allowed to go in your yard-"

"Elijah? We'll talk about that later," Rosalie attempted to quiet him.

"But Dad said we can't play over there if we don't ask, so I'm asking if we can go on the tree before Uncle Edward sells it," Elijah explained to his mother.

Two forks clanked down against the porcelain plates and Edward noticed his two brothers glaring at him.

"You're selling the land?" Emmett asked.

"I never said that," Edward answered evasively.

"Grandma said you're going to sell it and she doesn't want you to," Elijah added.

"Elijah, that's enough," Rosalie stated firmly.

Emmett was too busy trying to level Edward with a mere look to help his wife get his son under control.

Edward looked over at his father in time to see an intense glower shared between his parents.

"No one is selling any land," Carlisle finally said. "If Edward decides he doesn't want the property, then it'll revert back to the land trust, but until he decides to deed the property back over to the trust, it is his to do with it what he wishes."

"Well if he's just going to buy a house elsewhere, I don't get why he doesn't just turn it over," Jasper mumbled.

Edward sighed. Were they doing this for Bella's benefit? Because surely, if she weren't present, he was confident that they would never discuss his land in such a manner. It was tacky and embarrassing. Next they'd be whipping out bank statements and comparing account balances.

"So, Edward," Bella angled her body so that she was facing away from everyone else, and thus signaling that her words were intended for Edward only. "In my Methods of Communication class, there was a discussion about how the outcomes of political races can be predicted based upon import tariffs. Do you think that's true?"

The question caught him off guard, but when it looked like she really expected him to answer, he gave her inquiry a bit of thought before he elaborated. "I don't think so," he said. "Because the entire point of a tariff is to regulate something that is coming into our country. Since the price of a tariff has to be set, the politics have been set in motion before you or I know of it. The Boston Tea Party, I guess, would be an example. People are reactive to tariffs, not proactive," Edward explained.

Chairs scraped against the stone tile floor as people stood up from the table and took plates to the kitchen. But Bella just sat there like she was deliberating on what Edward had said. He watched her. At first, he'd thought her question was simply a distraction to get him through the remainder of the meal without any more discussion with his brothers about land and trees and deeds. But then Bella asked him another question. And then another.

By the time he realized that she was genuinely questioning him, and gathering information for an assignment, half an hour had passed and her parents were tapping her on the shoulder to say farewell for the remainder of the afternoon.

"Thank you," Bella told Edward later when they were walking into the den to meet with Carlisle.

"For what?" Edward asked, certain that it was he who should instead, be thanking her.

"For helping me with my discussion topic. "Sometimes it's hard to put certain things into practical application."

"Is that what I was doing? Helping you with your discussion topic?" Edward winked at her.

"Of course," Bella nodded as if she couldn't fathom what else he might mean.

Edward ignored the tense expression his father wore as he took a seat beside Bella on the loveseat. It was obvious that Carlisle wanted to plead his case on the land issue, as it was obvious that the only reason his brothers knew that he'd been planning to purchase a house was because his parents had broken his confidence.

But he was beyond it, in that moment. His brothers had come off looking foolish and petty, and Edward had no plans to rehash the episode and waste his precious time with Bella. Instead, he opened his book to chapter fourteen and ran his finger over the bolded letters emphasizing the title 'Expectations'.

"Are we ready?" Carlisle asked as he looked over Edward's shoulder at his book.

"Yes," Bella and Edward stated in unison.

Unlike previous sessions, Carlisle began this one in a prayer, and Bella and Edward once again took advantage of the opportunity to join hands.

It wasn't until twenty minutes later, when Carlisle shifted his gaze toward Edward's lap that Edward realized he and Bella's hands were still connected.

Without words, Edward let go and Bella wrapped her arms around her torso as if she'd been caught with her hands in the cookie jar.

"Writing a list of expectations for a relationship is much like doing a personal budget," Carlisle smiled. "When compiling a budget, people tend to write the big items toward the top, and as they continue down the list, they leave off fundamental topics that, if left unattended, can really wreak havoc between two people.

"Now, Edward and Bella, you each have sample lists in your books, but what you don't have, Bella, are common expectations from a male point of view, and Edward, you don't have the female's expectations. What I'd like each of you to do," Carlisle paused to rip two sheets of paper off the pad he was holding, "is list your expectations for one another in your relationship."

Edward and Bella traded amused glances before accepting the paper and starting on their lists. Carlisle allowed them fifteen minutes before he collected their papers and looked over them. Then he simply handed Bella's to Edward and the sheet Edward had written upon was given to Bella.

Edward took in the small, tight loops of Bella's handwriting before he glanced at her neatly numbered list:

I expect Edward to be my friend

I expect Edward to want what's best for me

I expect Edward to talk to me

I expect Edward to be a spiritual leader

I expect Edward to be understanding

I expect Edward to know that I'm not perfect

I expect Edward to know that

She'd left number seven incomplete when Carlisle had called time. Before Edward had a chance to ask her what she expected him to know, Carlisle got on his soapbox about how Bella and Edward had made the common error of focusing on more abstract issues.

"Bella, do you expect to provide for yourself?" Carlisle asked her point blank. "Do you expect to be the one responsible for going out and earning a financial living?"

"Well…no," Bella said softly. "But I thought that was a given."

"There are no given areas, Bella," Carlisle said swiftly. "That is exactly what you want to avoid – making those kinds of assumptions. What if Edward expected you to partner in financial provision?"

"But he already told me that he doesn't want me to work," Bella defended. She looked over at Edward for confirmation.

"Then it is definitely something you should have written down," Carlisle smiled, communicating that while firm in his stance, he wasn't being stern with her. "If he specifically told you that he doesn't expect you to work, then you have every right to place upon him the expectation of your financial security."

It was hard for Edward not to run his hand across Bella's back, or to squeeze her hand affectionately to let her know all was well.

"And Edward," Carlisle turned to him, "there is nothing on this list about what you expect of Bella domestically. There's nothing about children or education or spending or grooming…"

"Grooming?" Edward interjected.

Carlisle nodded. "Bella, how would you feel if Edward cut his hair short? A military buzz?"

Bella glanced over at Edward, regarding his hair before she answered the question. "If he wanted to cut it, I would be okay with that." Then, as an aside, her eyes large and beseeching, she added, "I love your hair, though."

"And Edward, what if Bella cut her hair above her shoulders?" Carlisle went on.

"Those are preferences, not expectations," Edward stated.

"Do you not _prefer_ for your wife to be physically appealing to you? Do you not expect it?" Carlisle pressed.

Edward stared down at the tips of his shoes as he mulled over the question. In reality, he didn't need to think about it to have an answer. Of course he found Bella physically appealing, and he wanted her to stay that way, but how could he state such a thing without sounding like a world-class jerk?

"I like your hair long," Edward told Bella, "but if it started to bother you and you wanted to cut it, I'd be okay with that."

Bella smiled. "I won't cut it," she said.

Carlisle eyed them through tired and sympathetic eyes. He continually glanced at Edward, trying to cue him, spur him to deeper issues, but Edward remained on the surface, treading safely in ambiguity.

"What about physical expectations?" Carlisle asked suddenly. "Men and women are very different in the way they physically need one another. Have you considered how you'll handle this?"

"Dad!" Edward hissed as he sat up straight and scooted to the edge of his seat. His eyes shifted between Bella and his father before he whispered, "We…haven't gotten there yet."

"Well why not?" Carlisle said in his regular tone, almost as if he was enjoying Edward's uncomfortableness. "It's in the chapter."

Edward could see Bella's finger scrolling through the paragraph of her book as she leaned over it beside him. He knew she wouldn't find it in the pages of her chapter, but he remained silent.

"Edward?" Carlisle prompted.

"Dad…" Edward indicated toward Bella before shaking his head minutely at his father. _Inappropriate!_ Edward was internally careening at the audacity of his father's provocation. They were _not_ on the chapter that dealt with intimacy. Why was his father pressing?

"Bella, does the notion of physical expectations within a relationship make you uncomfortable?"

Bella was slow to answer that it did not, therefore revealing that it actually did make her uneasy.

Carlisle folded his hands in his lap and sat back in his chair. His expression didn't give away his feelings and both Edward and Bella sat quietly, awaiting what he had to say next.

"I think it would be wise to go over this chapter again," he finally said. "And this time…use the example in the back of the book to formulate a list. Compare the differences when you're done, and then Bella, make up a new list based upon Edward's, and Edward you should do the same with Bella's expectations."

Edward was hoping for a private moment where he could gauge Bella's feelings about what had just transpired, but Esme came to the doorway of the den almost immediately afterwards and expressed her need for help in getting ready for that night's Cannabean service.

"Do you mind?" Bella asked Edward.

"Of course not," Edward answered, though he was glad to have been consulted. Unfortunately, this left him alone with his father, and judging by the way Carlisle had been acting, the last thing Edward wanted was another lecture.

Luckily, Carlisle's pager sounded, an urgent issue at the hospital. Edward was able to escape to his room until an appropriate amount of time had passed before it was appropriate for him to steal Bella back from his mother.

"Sorry about earlier," Edward said of his father's behavior when he and Bella managed to slip out on the back deck. "I didn't know he was going to do that."

When Bella blushed, Edward knew she was aware of what he was talking about. "It's okay," she said. "But I didn't…see that referenced in my book."

"It was in mine," Edward admitted.

When Bella didn't say anything else on the matter, Edward let the subject of the chapter on expectations drop.

Momentarily.

"What were you going to write if my dad hadn't stopped you?" he suddenly asked. "You said you expected me to know…but you didn't finish."

"Oh," Bella smiled and reddened furiously. Her voice was small and light and she looked everywhere but at Edward when she answered. "I expect you to know that…you're the only man I want."

When he'd first read that sentence, there were several ways that he'd filled in the blank. _I expect Edward to be faithful. I expect Edward to cherish me. I expect Edward to protect me._ But never in a million years had he expected Bella to expect him to know that she wanted him. And though she most likely was referring to his insecurity regarding John and any other man that glanced her way, it wasn't the connotation that immediately crossed his mind.

"I want you, too," Edward stated, and then realizing how his words sounded, he quickly corrected himself. "I mean you're the only woman…only person I want to be with…I mean…that I want."

Bella giggled. "I know what you mean."

People began to arrive for the Cannabean service and Edward and Bella were distracted as they helped situate furniture and greet attendees. When Alice returned, she made a beeline for Bella, less hesitantly than she had earlier, and Edward didn't get in the way as the two women made idle small talk. He paid little attention to his brothers as they set up their musical equipment at the front of the room and he continued to avoid his parents to prevent them from bringing up the land issue from earlier.

He placed his jacket over two seats next to where his mother was sitting to save them, but didn't steer Bella in that direction until the soothing notes of the music began. There was no talking once the worship songs commenced.

When Carlisle invited the room into prayer, Edward immediately searched for Bella's hand, but he heard a stern grumbling behind him and turned to see that Charlie had seated himself directly behind Edward and Bella and was watching their actions closely.

Edward kept his hands to himself for the remainder of the evening – which was growing increasingly harder to do. Especially when it was time to tell Bella goodnight, and she stood on the porch staring up at him with those deep, soulful, beautiful eyes.

_How could he not touch her? _

"Call me tomorrow?" he suggested as he snaked his arm around a light post to keep from caressing Bella's face. After all, Charlie was _still_ watching like a hawk.

"First thing," Bella promised. She turned and looked over her shoulder twice before she disappeared into her parents' vehicle.

He stood on the steps and watched the car drive away until there was but a hint of the taillights intermittently through the thick foliage that lined his parents' property.

When Edward came back inside from saying goodnight to Bella, he overheard the hushed tones of his parents speaking to one another in the kitchen. He stood stonily and silently as he interpreted their words:

"Carlisle, maybe it's time you told him outright. He can't like the way things are," his mother urged.

"I know." A soft chuckle escaped Carlisle. "I said I'd let him do things in his own time, because that's how I handled things with his brothers, but, honestly, I think Edward is over-thinking it. This afternoon, I even tried to trigger him, but either he was being exceptionally stubborn or exceptionally dense."

"And he's not building…" Esme trailed off.

"Always the hard way with Edward," Carlisle sighed. "I'm actually beginning to think that he prefers it."

Edward frowned. He didn't bother trying to conceal the fact that he'd heard them as he turned on his heels and stalked up the stairs.

They were discussing the land…_again._

Well he wasn't about to stick around to listen to the old argument about how his brothers felt slighted or how he should stay on the Cullen compound, as he liked to refer to it. And he resented his father calling him dense. Sure, he'd known his father was trying to get him to state his intention with the property, in front of Bella and her family, but he didn't bite.

And it wasn't because he was being stubborn or dense.

It was because Bella had given him something to consider.

It was one thing to take a choice away from someone who had no ability or desire to decide in the first place, but when it came to housing, Bella had the ability, and apparently she had the desire as well.

As he made his way into his bedroom, Edward acquiesced to the fact that he had a lot of thinking to do. He mulled over the time he'd spent with Bella, their argument and the way it had made him feel, and how her mere presence at the table with his entire family had righted his world.

But something was nagging him at the edges of his consciousness and he knew then that it was going to be a sleepless night.

He tried to do a bit of work; check emails and the like, but he was unable to focus. After a few hours, he admitted defeat and pulled out his betrothal book. He began flipping through the chapters, reading whatever his eyes landed on until it no longer held his attention. He repeated the process of turning pages and picking topics several times until something near the beginning of the book caught his attention.

He'd read this same passage a hundred times, and had heard it explained a thousand times more, but somehow, it had only become clear to him in that moment.

Perhaps his father was right. Maybe he was dense.

But no more. Edward had just had an epiphany.

A book slammed shut. Feet pounded the floor. Lights switched on and doors were flung open.

"Dad!"

Carlisle bolted upright in his bed, startled when the light from the hallway flooded his bedroom.

"What is it? Who is it? Who's hurt?" Carlisle said as he threw back the blanket and reached for his robe.

"Nobody," Edward stood there beaming like an idiot in the doorway. "Dad, I need to talk to you."

"Can't it wait until morning, Edward?" Carlisle asked groggily as he drooped against his mattress in exhaustion. His eyes grazed his wife's sleeping form and the longing for rest was apparent on his face.

"No, Dad, it can't," Edward stressed. "I can't wait another second."


	18. Chapter 17 The Betrothal Phase

**The Betrothal Phase. **_This final stage in the courtship process allows the couple to begin the process of becoming one. In Cannabean law, once a betrothal is accepted, it is a binding contract between the two families of the intended. This binding contract allows the couple to move into the process of trusting and relying on one another, as they no longer have the hindrance of constant supervision. Courtship prohibitions are relaxed in the betrothal phase, with the only requirement being the preservation of the marriage bed. _

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Bella rolled onto her side and groaned at what she saw through the small crack in her curtains. It was raining. Again.

She had hoped to walk to the library, but there was no way she was doing that in the rain. It wasn't worth risking a head cold to check out the mediocre selection of research books at the Forks branch of the Clallam County Library.

With a sigh, she rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling as she considered what she might have to go through to borrow the car for the day. Her father had the vehicle he delivered mail in, but her mother would most likely have to be driven to the store and then returned swiftly to put away the food… that was more of a hassle than the Forks library was worth as well.

There was a shifting of the floorboards and Bella looked over to find her mother standing at the entrance to her bedroom.

"Good, you're awake," Renee said as she moved further into the room. "I just wanted to let you know that Daddy has visitors so that you don't go out into the kitchen dressed inappropriately."

"Visitors?" Bella asked as she threw the covers back and stepped out of bed. "This early?"

"Mmhm," Renee nodded as she moved over to open Bella's curtains, despite the dreary weather. "I have yet to find a plant to put in the porch planters that doesn't drown in all this rain."

Bella only half-heartedly listened to her mother's early morning banter. "Why isn't Dad at work?"

"Oh…uh…he took a day off. He had some business he needed to attend to."

If Bella had been paying attention, she would have seen the expression of forced vagueness her mother wore. But Bella's eye was caught by something she saw outside her bedroom window. There was a white truck that she didn't recognize, parked in front of a luxury sedan that she _did_ recognize.

"Is Edward here?" Bella spun around to face her mother.

But before Renee could answer, male voices were heard exiting the front door and Bella was able to catch a glimpse of Edward through her bedroom window. He looked so happy as he turned to shake Charlie's hand, and then that happiness turned to shock when Charlie Swan pulled him into a fully eclipsing hug.

"What's going on?" Bella wondered out loud. "Does Edward think I'm not here or something?"

The way he simply strolled toward his vehicle, with his father fast on his heels, certainly told her that she was not the purpose of his visit.

"I think he just needed to talk to your father for a moment. It's still pretty early. He probably needs to get to work," Renee said as she began straightening Bella's bed for lack of anything else to do with her hands.

Without another word, Bella slipped across the hall to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day. When she had finished up, she was still mulling over why Edward had stopped by but hadn't bothered to say hello to her. She had just resolved to call him and ask when she stepped out into the hall and heard her parents talking quietly to one another.

"I was beginning to think he was never going to make it to this point," Charlie said, the tone of his voice ambivalent.

Renee sighed. "He didn't take too long, as far as I'm concerned. I'm almost ready to accept the inevitable. Are you?"

Bella strained to hear her father's answer to that question, so that she could decipher what they were talking about, but she was met with silence as she stared down at her socked feet.

"Bella?"

Her head snapped up and she saw her father standing at the end of the hallway.

"Something you needed?" Charlie asked.

"Uh…the car?" Bella stated as if that was why she was stealthily standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall. "I need to go to the library on campus."

Charlie nodded and fished the keys out of his pocket. Bella willingly accepted them, and as she made her final preparations to leave, she didn't hear another word uttered between her parents.

Bella waited until she'd made it across town before she pulled the car over and dialed Edward's number. The phone rang longer than usual before rolling over to voicemail. Quickly she left a message, one that didn't at all reveal the real reason of her call, and then pulled away from the curb and headed off to school.

It took Edward two hours to call Bella back. She was sitting in the library between two stacks of books when her phone began to jingle and jump, to the dismay of all of those around her.

"Sorry. I'm sorry," she apologized to the intruding glares she received as she hastened out the back door of the library with her phone.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hi Bella. Did you call?" Edward asked, unassuming.

"Yes. H-how are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine. Is everything okay?" The way he asked the question was as if he only wanted to know if there was something wrong, and if not, then the conversation was over.

"Yes, nothing's wrong. I just…I saw you this morning, at my house. I was…a little shocked that you didn't say hello."

"Oh…well it was so early. I didn't think you were awake."

"It _was_ early." Bella waited for Edward's explanation.

"Well, I keep early hours, much to the chagrin of all that come into contact with me," Edward laughed lightly.

Three women walked by Bella at that moment, chattering about their night out on the town as they headed toward the entrance to the library. From the few minutes that their paths crossed, Bella was able to decode that the one on the left had gotten so drunk that she'd had the worst hangover of her life the next day, and the woman in the middle had woken up next to a man that she didn't remember meeting. Apparently they thought it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard.

"What was that?" Edward asked. "Where are you?"

"At the library on campus," Bella answered.

"How'd you get there?"

"I drove."

There was a ticking noise in the background while Bella waited for Edward to say something.

"Um, Bella…I have to fly to California later this afternoon. I'll be back tomorrow, but I'd really like to see you before I go. Do you…are you okay with meeting me halfway? Maybe we could meet at In Place?"

In Place was an extremely casual restaurant in the hub of the town, known for its tasty food and sluggish service. Since Edward had referenced coming from work, she knew neither of his parents would be accompanying him, and since she had the car, Renee would be unable to join them as well. But, she did need to eat, and it wasn't like they'd be in the restaurant alone…

"Sure. Right now?" Bella asked, excited that she would get to spend time with Edward.

"Yeah. I'll give you a five minute headstart."

If Bella had been worried that Edward was cooling on their relationship and hadn't wanted to see her when he'd disappeared from her house that morning, those thoughts quickly dissipated the moment she pulled into the In Place parking lot.

Edward was waiting for her outside, and was at her car door, pulling it open, before she could even get the key out of the ignition.

"Hi," he hesitated a moment before giving her a hug. She hugged him back.

"Hi," she gazed up at him, until the rain forced them to move their welcoming ceremony inside.

"So, California?" Bella asked as she slid into a well-worn booth. "Was that a sudden decision?"

"Very," Edward confirmed. "But sometimes things work that way."

"Really?" Bella looked concerned. She didn't like the idea of Edward shooting halfway across the world or to a foreign country at the last minute simply because his business required it.

"It's rare," Edward added, gauging the concern in her features. "In fact, this is the first time it's ever happened, and I don't plan to make a habit of it."

Bella settled back against the seat and relaxed long enough to notice the way Edward was looking at her. It was a pointed, concentrated, powerful contemplation. The nervous pulsing in the pit of her stomach returned.

"Is everything okay?" she asked meekly.

Edward looked around the deserted restaurant. The lunch rush had yet to begin, if you could call a crowd of twenty-eight a rush. When it registered that there was no one of consequence in the near vicinity of he and Bella, in one fluid motion he reached across the table and covered Bella's hand with his own.

"Everything's fine," Edward smiled. "I'm just glad I got to see you before my flight."

Bella nodded her agreement. "And you said you'll be back tomorrow?" She wondered if her concern for his safety was showing through her words as much as her discontent with the separation.

"I'll be back in time to put in a full day at work tomorrow. I have a lot to do in the next few days. But we'll have Friday to catch up, since I'm taking the day off. You don't have class or anything, do you?" Edward seemed disappointed at the prospect of Bella having plans.

She shook her head. "I have a paper to turn in on Thursday, but nothing on Friday."

"Well see there, it looks like I'm going away at the perfect time. I won't be in your way while you get your classwork done," Edward smiled at her winningly from across the table.

Bella tried to have a similar reaction, but she didn't feel it. Still, she offered a tight-lipped smile and gazed down at their hands.

"You look sad," Edward ducked his head until Bella looked him in the eye.

"I'm just…never really comfortable when someone I…care about gets on an airplane," Bella confessed.

Edward lifted her left hand to his mouth and gazed briefly at her fingers before bringing them to his mouth for a short kiss.

"I'll be fine," he assured her. "I'll be back before you know it."

Bella's eyes momentarily fluttered when Edward's lips touched the sensitive area on her knuckles. She tried to hold his gaze, but she looked down at the table, sure that he would be able to see the desire for him reflected on her face.

Lately is seemed that her body knew things her mind did not. Whenever Edward touched her or glanced at her or simply whispered to her, it was as if someone swaddled her in an electric blanket. And even when he didn't engage her, but simply walked into the same room she was occupying, their bodies seemed to be on the same frequency.

From the tips of her fingers to the tips of her toes, and everywhere in-between, Bella's body hummed to the tune of Edward Cullen.

The waitress came to take their order and by the time their food was served, Bella and Edward were finally able to settle into a comfortable conversation about travel, the most exotic thing they'd ever eaten and the their favorite comfort clothing.

Edward made Bella forget that she was apprehensive about his coming trip by telling her jokes and quippy stories. He tore the wrapper from his straw, blew it across the table at her and then retrieved it back only to wind it around her finger, tear it off and discard pieces of it around the table. Bella shook her head in amusement at him as he balled up little remnants and tried, unsuccessfully, to flick them into his water glass. Time began to pass swiftly and after an hour and a half had passed, Bella was shocked that her father hadn't called her to inquire about her whereabouts.

When Edward stood up to end their time together, Bella tried to suppress her disappointment and send him off with well wishes and hopes for a successful business venture. She stood by quietly as he left the money for the bill on the table, stuck a stray piece of the straw's wrapper in his pocket and then guided her out the front door with his hand pressed gently against the small of her back.

"Where'd you park?" Bella asked. She hadn't seen his car when she pulled into the lot.

"I'm around back," Edward said as he turned his face to the sky to check for rain. There was a momentary reprieve in the misty downpour. "I'm gonna put this in my car," he waggled his jacket out in front of him. He held out his hand and Bella took it before following him behind the building to where his car was parked.

So fast that she didn't even see it, Edward dropped his jacket in the backseat of his car and turned back to her.

"I wish you hadn't driven here so that we'd still have to drive to your house to look forward to," he said softly as he brushed away a drifting strand of hair that had gotten caught in the corner of Bella's mouth.

"Me, too," she concurred quietly.

Bella watched as Edward looked behind him expeditiously before leaning down and kissing her on the cheek. Before she could recover from the blaze he had left there, he shifted over and grazed her lips sweetly with his own.

"C'mon. Let's get you home," Edward smiled as he walked Bella back over to her car. All she could do was nod, for the kiss had left her breathless and without words.

Edward left Bella with the lingering tingle of his touch and a promise to call her the next day, as soon as his plane touched down back in Washington. Throughout her car ride home, Bella continually touched her cheek and her lips, as if she could still feel Edward there. She dashed into her room, once home, afraid that her parents would see the evidence of her afternoon activities.

The next morning, Bella was elated to run an errand for her mother: a visit to the Cullen home to retrieve a dozen empty canning jars. Even though she knew Edward wouldn't be there, it would be nice to spend some time in his element. He'd been gone exactly twenty-one hours and Bella was adamantly checking her phone for his call.

"Good morning, Bella," Esme welcomed with a delicate hug before ushering her through the double doors in the entryway. "Have you heard from Edward?"

"Not since yesterday evening," Bella recounted as she entered the kitchen. "He sent me a text message to let me know he'd arrived safely."

Esme smiled. "Well you got more that I got. He hasn't called here at all."

"I suppose he's really busy with work and everything," Bella shrugged.

Esme's eyes danced with excitement, but she didn't have a chance to comment further.

"Mom, I did what you said, but I still can't get it out." Alice came through the kitchen carrying what looked to Bella to be a soft cushion cover. She stopped in her tracks when she looked up and saw Bella standing there. "Oh…hi, Bella."

"Hi, Alice," Bella said as Esme hurried over to Alice and took the fabric from her.

"And you used the club soda like I said?" Esme asked as she inspected the stain.

Alice nodded and looked over at Bella. "I was using a cooking wine and when my phone rang, I stupidly took the bottle when me when I went into the living room to answer it. When I leaned over to pick up the phone I accidentally tilted the bottle and spilled all over my couch," she volunteered, laughing like she'd delivered a flawless plotline.

Bella wasn't so sure why the story was supposed to be so funny, but she smiled anyway.

"Let me try one more thing," Esme pointed a finger in the air as she hastened up the stairs with the soiled garment, leaving the two women downstairs alone.

"So…how've you been?" Alice asked. It was obvious that she wasn't quite sure where she stood, and without the cover of other family members, she was nervous.

"I'm good. What about you?"

"I'm okay. A little bored. There's nothing to do in this town," Alice complained.

"You should call me sometime. I'm sure we could find something to do," Bella shrugged.

Alice stared at her in silence for a long while. "Really?"

"Yeah, really," Bella nodded.

"But…I thought Edward didn't want you to…"

"Edward is fine now that everything is out in the open," Bella said smoothly. She knew Edward wasn't interested in having Alice around her every given day, but as long as she gave him advance warning, Bella was sure that he wouldn't have a problem with an occasional trip to the store or an afternoon chat over a cup of tea.

"Oh." Alice appeared slightly uncomfortable at the reminder of the issue between her and Edward that had been shared with Bella.

"Can I ask you something," Bella murmured as she leaned toward Alice.

"Uh…okay," Alice allowed cautiously.

"You call Esme 'Mom'?"

"Oh," Alice seemed relieved to answer such a simple query. "Yeah, most of the time. She's always been there for me, like a mom, especially when mine wasn't. It just came naturally."

Esme reentered the room at that moment, a look of triumph on her face as she held up Alice's cushion cover.

"Okay, I tested this in a very small spot and it didn't discolor," Esme held up a bottle of oven cleaner. "Spray a bit of this on the backside, and then run it through the washing machine by itself. I think it'll take it out."

"Oh goodie!" Alice exclaimed as she took the items from her mother-in-law.

"Well, I'd better get these jars to my mother. She's waiting for them," Bella said as she lifted the box of glass from the counter.

"Oh, okay," Esme waved her hand at Bella, alerting her that she had something else to say, "and a week from Saturday, you, me and your mother are going to a quilting bee."

"A quilting bee?"

Both Alice and Bella spoke the words at the same time, but while Bella was expressing a question, Alice had made an utterance in astonishment.

"A quilting bee? Who's getting - "

"Alice! Quiet!" Esme raised her voice.

Bella appraised the two women suspiciously. She couldn't tell if the quilting bee was a joke or if it was serious business, and neither Alice nor Esme's expression gave anything away.

"A quilting bee?" Bella asked again.

"Yes. Your mother had asked me about taking you to one and I just found out that there's one next Saturday. So, tell your mother. I'll pick you two up at noon," Esme said affirmatively.

Bella looked over at Alice for a hint. "Alice? What's with the quilting bee?" she asked.

Before she could utter a word, Esme spoke again. "Alice isn't into quilting. She thinks it's old-fashioned."

"Oh…well I don't really know how to quilt either," Bella offered.

"Your mother thinks it's something nice the three of us can do together, plus it's a great way to meet some of the other ladies in the church," Esme nodded quickly. She came alongside Bella and took the box from her and began walking toward the front door. Bella couldn't help but feel as if she was being dismissed.

"A quilting bee?" Bella repeated to herself moments later when she'd buckled herself into her car. But the oddity of the idea was forgotten the moment her phone began to ring.

"Hello?" she answered the call with such vigor that she nearly dropped it.

"Hey, you," Edward said playfully.

"Edward, hi!" Bella didn't realize how tense and rigid she was until the instant she heard his voice. It was as if every muscle in her body relaxed at the same time. "How was the trip?"

"Not as good as coming home," he told her. She could tell he was smiling, and that made her feel good.

"Did everything work out? Did you get any new clients?" Bella asked.

"Actually, I was the client this time, but yes, everything worked out," Edward told her.

The cold air was seeping through the windows in her parents old sedan, so Bella started her car up and cranked up the heat.

"Is that you?" Edward asked. "Are you in the car?"

"Yes. I'm actually in the driveway of your parents' house. My mom needed to borrow some canning jars from your mother. If you want, I can wait here for you," Bella offered, revealing how badly she wanted to see Edward again.

"Oh…" Edward stalled. "I'm headed straight in to work. I'm actually receiving a shipment that I have to go down to the dock and sign for. Then, tomorrow, I have an early morning conference call. But, I promise, Friday, I'm yours. All day."

"Of course," Bella said. But it was only Wednesday, and Friday seemed so far away.

When Bella returned home, she remembered to give her mother Esme's message about the quilting bee and was met with a reaction so strange that it made her even more leery about the event.

"We don't quilt, Mom," Bella told her mother in case that tidbit of information had eluded her. "And from what I hear it's a pretty expensive hobby."

"It'll be good for us," Renee said as she accepted the jars and shooed Bella out of the small kitchen. "It'll be a nice learning experience."

Well, in any case, she had two whole weeks before she had to think about it.

Before retreating to her bedroom, Bella filled a glass with water and piled a plate with celery stalks and a dab of peanut butter. She planned to spend the rest of the afternoon working on her paper, and needed a snack to tide her over until dinner.

"Hey, B," Charlie, already home from his mail route, stopped her as she passed through the living room. "I was thinking about taking a few things down to the thrift store and I brought a few extra boxes home in case you wanted to get rid of some old things you don't use anymore."

"I feel like I got rid of everything when we moved from Montana," Bella said.

"Yeah, well…just hang on to the boxes. You might find that you brought some things with you that you don't have a use for," Charlie told her.

Bella nodded her acquiescence and continued on the path to her bedroom and her coursework. All of the papers she'd printed off at the library were stacked neatly on her desk where she'd left them, but when she went to pick them up, she noticed the boxes her father had mentioned. Only it wasn't a _few_. There were eight medium sized boxes, stacked in two columns of four, against her bedroom wall.

"What exactly does he expect me to get rid of?" Bella muttered to herself as she sat down at her desk to work.

Without any further interruptions, Bella was able to spend the better part of the day putting the finishing touches on her paper and still make it to bed at a fairly decent hour. By the time Edward sent her a text message of '_Sweet dreams'_ at ten o'clock that night, she was already fast asleep.

The following day, Renee needed to use the car, so Bella accepted a ride from her mother, to the extension campus of the college, just to make sure nothing hindered her effort to turn her paper in on time. Having class on campus for the day was also a nice distraction since Bella knew that Edward wasn't available. Usually, filling her time wasn't such an issue, but just knowing that she couldn't see Edward even if she wanted to made her want to see him all the more.

Still, a large part of her admired and respected his diligent work ethic. She knew that when and if the day ever came for her to rely upon him for her financial security, she could do so without concern, because it was obvious that Edward would do whatever he needed to do to take care of his responsibilities. It was just one of the many things she loved about him. And she _did_ love him.

On Friday morning, Bella woke with a song in her spirit and a flutter in her heart. The forecaster on last night's news program had said it would be sunny, with a high of fifty degrees - something all residents knew not to put much faith in. However, at seven twenty-five that morning, the sun chased away the clouds of yesterday and greeted the town with light and warmth.

That was her first greeting of the morning. The second came in the form of a picture message sent to her mobile phone. Excitement stirred within Bella when she saw that it was from Edward. And when she opened the vibrant picture of a morning star flower, a child-like giggle escaped her.

_"Good morning. I'm anxious to see you, but didn't want to wake you. Call me soon."_

Edward wished her a good morning again, seconds later, after she'd hurriedly dialed his phone number.

"I can't wait to see you," Edward sighed into the phone. "Yesterday was long."

"Tell me about it," Bella said.

"So…when do you want to start our day?" Edward asked.

"Would right now be too soon?" Bella asked. She only pretended to be joking.

"I'll be there in half an hour," Edward said. And he was most assuredly _not_ kidding.

Bella quickly showered and dried her hair, making an effort to style it since it wasn't going to get ruined by damp weather.

When Bella reached into her closet, she found the short sleeved, steel gray dress that she'd ironed the night before. Quickly she put it on; she'd just finished accentuating it with a long, plumb colored scarf when she heard a knock on the front door.

"It's Edward," Bella said as she tried to cut Charlie off as he made a b-line for the door. But Charlie wasn't deterred, and he beat Bella to the door.

"Morning, Edward," Charlie held out his hand. As Edward stood there on the other side of the door, Bella braced herself for her dad to comment on the early morning hour.

"Morning, Charlie," Edward sounded pert and happy. "Bella and I are going to spend the day together."

"Yeah, she mentioned that," Charlie said.

Bella appeared from behind the door at that moment. She was so happy to see Edward that she scarcely noticed how well put-together he was for so early in the day.

"You two match," Charlie smiled as he pointed to the light gray cableknit v-neck sweater Edward had paired with a plain white t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

Edward didn't speak a word as his eyes drank in Bella's form in her dress and off-white ballet flats.

"Uh…haa-hi," Edward muttered incoherently.

"Hi," Bella uttered airily with a smile.

Charlie stood between them, watching with an amused expression as the pair before him gawked amorously at one another.

"Ready?" Edward finally said, snapping out of his stupor.

"Yes," Bella nodded.

She said a quick goodbye to her parents and followed Edward out to his car. Bella stopped abruptly when he opened the door for her and she got a clear view of the empty backseat.

"You're alone?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's just a short ride to my house," Edward said.

"But my dad…I don't think he knows that no one is accompanying us…" Bella trailed off.

"It's fine," Edward said confidently. "I promise, and I'll take full responsibility if it's not."

"Edward…"

"Trust me, Bella."

The look on his face was so earnest when he spoke those three words that Bella's inhibitions dropped away. "Okay," she nodded.

Unfortunately, their car ride was interrupted by a business call, and while Edward was profusely apologetic about the disruption, he had to take the call.

Bella sat quietly in the passenger seat listening to Edward's side of business and admiring the way the moss-green foliage glistened in the morning sun.

Edward turned off a few miles before the street that would have taken them to Edward's parents' home. Bella pivoted in her seat and looked at him questioningly. He glanced over at her and attempted an explanation, but the caller on the other end of the phone was usurping his attention.

After a few more minutes, Edward was finally able to end the call, just as his car crawled to a stop at the edge of a vast clearing.

"Where are we, Edward?" Bella asked as he stopped the car seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

"Well…you've made a few comments about my land. I thought you'd like to see it from the other side…before I decide what to do with it."

"Oh," Bella nodded. She thought it was unnecessary for him to make it a point of showing her land he had no intention of keeping, but it was nice that he wanted to share something of his own with her. And after the last few days without him, she was just happy to be in his presence again.

Edward was quiet as he and Bella walked the perimeter of his property line. Far off in the distance, Bella could see the top of Emmett and Rosalie's roof through a thick patch of trees.

"You look beautiful today, Bella," Edward said all of a sudden.

She could feel her face warm at the unsolicited compliment. "Thank you."

They walked a few more steps in silence.

"I missed you," Bella admitted as she stole a glance up at him. He seemed very appreciative of her words.

"I missed you, too," he said. His smiling eyes darted to her hands, as if he were going to take one, but he kept his hands stuffed deep in his pockets instead, fidgeting with whatever was there.

After a few moments, Bella was able to see the lake come into view. It was much larger than she'd thought when she'd seen the other side of it from Emmett's house.

"Wow…" Bella said. It was breathtaking. "I didn't know it was so…massive."

Edward frowned, as if he'd just noticed something out of place. But it only took a few seconds for him to acknowledge what Bella had said.

"We always thought this was a wildlife reserve," Edward began. "I guess the family that owns the twenty-two acres in the other direction were happy to let us think that so that they could enjoy the serene waterfront property. It was just a fluke that we found out that it was actually part of our land."

"And now it's yours?" Bella asked.

Edward nodded.

"And you want to get rid of it?" she asked dubiously. "I couldn't even imagine…"

"I don't _want_ to. At times, I just get tired of being at the center of all the strife," Edward pointed at the mammoth body of water before them. "This is a huge source of contention between my brothers and my father."

"The lake?" Bella asked.

"Uh-huh," Edward nodded. "It burns them up that I have a water source and they don't."

"So why don't you share it?" Bella suggested.

Edward turned and looked at her so suddenly that it startled her.

"Or not," she added when she saw the expression on his face.

"No, it's not…it's just that it always seems like I'm the one who's giving. I feel like everyone else is taking from me all the time," Edward sighed.

Bella nodded. She looked out at the calm water, the cloudless sky overhead reflected there. "It's kind of different, though, when you're the offering party, right?"

"Yeah, I guess it is." Edward looked over at her and smirked. "You're so benevolent."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Edward stepped closer and put his arm around her waist. "No. It most definitely isn't a bad thing," he whispered as he stared into her eyes boldly.

They seemed to be having many more moments where Edward was unabashedly touching or kissing her. And while Bella wasn't opposed to his attention, it did make her feel a little uneasy that she was so easily breaking rules that she never thought she would.

She looked down at the grass in anticipation of expressing her concern about how forward they were getting with one another. She was at a loss as to how to proceed without making it sound like she was admonishing Edward. After all, she hadn't voiced one single complaint, and if she was honest, had probably encouraged the behavior with her compliance.

"Edward…" she began softly.

Suddenly, there was a loud flapping noise and a splash. Bella turned quickly to see two large swans land just a few feet from where she and Edward were standing.

"Well would you look at that," Edward said, awestruck.

Bella took a step back, wary of the large waterfowl. "Where'd they come from? Do you think they're vicious?"

"I don't think I've ever heard of anyone being attacked by swans," Edward laughed. "They're supposed to be pretty docile unless they feel threatened. Haven't you ever read up on them?"

Bella smiled and fought the urge to roll her eyes. One of her most prominent memories as a child was kids her age asking her if she liked swans or owned swans or knew all there was to know about swans simply because that was her last name. It was almost as if she were a cartoon character that bore all resemblance to her surname, like the little Littles or the big Biggs. Subconsciously, that might have been the reason that Bella knew almost nothing about swans except that their feathers were white and people often associated them with love and romance.

"I don't really know anything about them," Bella said as she watched the water crease in a v-formation as the birds swam toward one another.

"Well, I know that they don't eat meat, so you're safe on that front," Edward smiled. He removed his hand from Bella's waist and ghosted the tips of his fingers over hers before gradually interlacing their fingers. "I also know that they're monogamous creatures. They choose their mates early in life and then during their two or three year courtship, they build their nest together."

"Really?" Bella tilted her head to get a better look at the birds. "That's a long courtship."

"Well, they take about that long to, uh, mature," Edward cleared his throat uncomfortably. "But then they're together for life."

"Wow," Bella breathed, her opinion of the birds visibly changing. "That sounds so…romantic."

They watched the birds dip and circle one another.

"That ones a girl or a pen," Edward pointed.

"How can you tell?" Bella questioned.

"She's smaller and her neck isn't as curvy."

"Huh." Bella began to lose focus on the birds when Edward began playing with her fingers, one by one.

"Look at the way he's looking at her," Edward indicated with a nod of his chin toward the birds.

Bella glimpsed at Edward and then followed his gaze out to the water. The swans were gliding through the water in effortless spirals, keeping one another in sight at all times. The larger one swam protectively around the smaller one.

"He's completely enamored by her," Edward whispered as he lightly caressed her index finger. "He's totally devoted to her…" his nimble digits stroked her middle finger.

Bella turned to Edward, a mocking expression on her face at the way he had personified the swans. But then she saw the intense way he was watching her. And then she knew…

"And he's committed to loving and cherishing her…for life."

Bella felt the sharp contrast of the firm, cool metal as Edward's soft, supple flesh advanced a ring along her fourth finger.

Bella's bottom lip began to quiver. He had truly shocked her. She didn't know it could happen this way; she hadn't been expecting such a lavish and loving gesture. Instead, she's been merely hoping for the instance when Charlie would sit her down and tell her that Edward had requested her hand in marriage. Never in a million years had she expected Edward to be the one to usher her into this stage of their relationship.

But as she began to mentally piece the pictures of the puzzle together: _the early morning meeting; the hand holding; the kiss outside the restaurant; the moving boxes her father had given her; the lack of chaperones…_ it all became clear. Edward knew exactly what he was doing and right then, Bella knew that she should never anticipate anything less from Edward Cullen, ever again.

Very carefully and affectionately, Edward kindly and gently erased the tears that were streaming down Bella's cheeks.

"I really hope these are tears of joy," Edward hinted lightly.

Bella tried to smile back at him, but the emotions were so overwhelming that all she could do was nod and cry…and cry some more.

"I…cannot…wait…to share my life with you," Bella managed through the weeping.

Edward held her close as her crying subsided. He fondled her hair sensitively before tilting her face towards his and kissing the tracks of her tears.

"I love you," he promised her.

"I love you, too," Bella promised in return.

Then they celebrated their betrothal with a kiss, and in doing so, Bella discovered something else that afternoon. Every kiss that they'd shared up until this moment had been fever inducing, alluring, enticing and insatiable. But when Edward's lips melded to her own, tugging, tantalizing, vanquishing – Bella knew that Edward had been holding back.

Because where his other kisses had caused her to smolder, this kiss lit her body afire.


	19. Chapter 18 Acquiescence of the Betrothed

_**Acquiescence of the Betrothed**_ – _At the granting of the betrothal, the family of the bride-to-be releases all rights and responsibilities to the impending groom. In Cannabean law, the couple is recognized as legally wed in an unconsummated binding, allowing the couple the freedom and security to share personal and delicate information as they prepare for their life together._

_

* * *

_

"Did you love Mom? When you decided you wanted to marry her, were you already in love with her?" Edward asked his father.

Carlisle smiled at the memory. "I was so in love with your mother that it terrified me," he answered. "I was even in love with the idea of being in love with her."

Edward looked down at the grain of the dining room table where he sat. His mother had gotten up in all of the commotion and was bustling around the kitchen making her presence known but, at the same time, leaving her men to their moment.

"I want to call her," Edward suddenly said. "I want to tell her goodnight or good morning or…just hear her voice."

Carlisle laughed. "I think we'd better talk to her father first…at least give him a heads up before his phone starts ringing at two in the morning."

"When are you going to call him? He goes to work early and you said you'd call him before he left for work," Edward reminded.

"Edward, slow down," Carlisle held his hand up in front of his youngest son's face. "You have plenty of time."

"It doesn't feel like that. I feel like I've wasted a ton of time and now I'm playing catch-up or something," Edward admitted.

He'd read over the first few chapters of the Betrothal Book several times since he'd received them. He knew what was expected of him backward and forward. He knew what he couldn't do and what he shouldn't do and what he definitely wouldn't do.

And Edward knew the book had been written a long time ago; there was no "new edition". So, last night, as he sat looking at the descriptions of the three phases to a courtship, it overwhelmed him that he hadn't previously noticed two things: 1) the way the chapters coincided with which phase he should be in and 2) the lack of restrictions in the third phase of the courtship.

Edward mentally kicked himself as he realized those embarrassing questions his father had asked Bella about her expectations for intimacy in their last study session shouldn't have been asked at all, because that was a chapter that should have been gone over during the Betrothal Phase; a phase that didn't require the hindrance of a chaperone.

As his eyes had focused in on that revelation, Edward also realized that he was _there_. He had reached that place where his heart and his mind were in harmony: he had fallen fast for Bella Swan and he wanted to spend the rest of his life in a free fall _with_ her.

"I feel like I don't have enough time," Edward continued. "There's so much I have to do. I have to get a witness and-"

"I was going to have breakfast with Don this morning. I'll just have him come with us to Charlie's. He'll be your witness," Carlisle said of Don Matting, one of the Cannabean elders.

"Oh, okay. Good," Edward looked down at the Betrothal Book that lay open in front of him. His fingers skimmed the page as his father looked upon him with prideful amusement. "What do you think Charlie's going to say?" Edward asked without lifting his eyes from the page. From the tone of his voice, it was revealed that this was a matter that was disconcerting to him.

"I think he'll say the same thing I was thinking when you told me," the creases at the corners of Carlisle's eyes displayed his delight, "It's about time!"

Edward had to accept that his father might have been right about Charlie when, three hours later, they were immediately invited to visit the Swan home.

"Glad you called when you did," Charlie said in greeting. "It was enough time to get someone else to take my route today."

"Sorry you have to miss work," Edward began his apology.

"I'm not," Charlie said as he put his hand lightly on Edward's shoulder. Thus far, it was the warmest gesture he'd ever offered. "Priorities, son."

Charlie led Edward and Carlisle, and Don as their witness to the exchange, over to the small kitchen table. There was already coffee and breakfast breads there, but Edward was much too nervous to eat.

"Well, I don't think anyone is under any misconception of why we're here," Carlisle smiled as he glanced around the table. "But first I think we should open up with a word of prayer to direct our discussion. Gentlemen?" Carlisle held out his hands and everyone at the table followed suit, grasping hands and bowing heads.

Try as he might to listen to the uplifting and encouraging words his father spoke in supplication, all Edward could think about was that brindle-haired, beauty sleeping down the hall and to the left.

"Sir, I want to marry your daughter," Edward blurted out as soon as the last 'amen' rang out. "Please," he added.

Charlie reared back in his chair, folded his arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes in Edward's direction. "I will say, Edward, you had me worried that you were never going to get to this point."

"Yes, well, Edward has a knack for being very thorough and well-laid out. But once he makes his mind up about something, he is unwaveringly decided," Carlisle spoke on behalf of his son.

Charlie nodded and focused back on Edward. "Well, it's obvious that you're able to care for Bella in the short term, but what's your contingency plan? In the event that things, God forbid, turn south for your business, what will you do?"

Edward nodded, having prepared to answer such a question. "In addition to my company, I also have a share of the family vineyard and I have a very diverse portfolio," Edward faded off and looked down at his hands. For several long minutes he kept his eyes in his lap and offered no further explanation.

"Edward?" Charlie finally prompted.

"I'm sorry, sir," Edward looked earnestly upon Charlie's waiting expression. "I can take care of Bella. I'll _always_ take care of Bella, even if it becomes difficult to do so, but…I'm not saying the financial aspect isn't important, but it's not the most important."

"That's because you've probably always had means," Charlie said without missing a beat. "But trust me when I tell you that financial hardship is one of the biggest strains on a marriage, and if you go into it prepared for how you might deal with that, what your reaction might be to a wife who is stressed and worried and scared about how you're going to get by, then you might be better equipped to handle it if that time ever comes."

"I understand what you're saying, sir," Edward refrained from casually using Charlie's name, "but, with all due respect, Bella isn't the kind of person who places a lot of emphasis on material wealth. That's not to say that I won't work hard to make sure she has her heart's desires, but in the event that I lose everything tomorrow, and I have to pump gas for a living, I'll still feel like the richest man on the planet as long as I get to come home to Bella. And if I'm lucky, by the time that happens, maybe she'll feel the same way about me."

Edward's answer was met with the sound of a stifled sniffle and the four men looked up to see Renee standing beyond them, at the kitchen counter, obviously moved to tears by Edward's response.

"Your request," Charlie paused to clear his throat from underneath the weight of his emotions, "is granted."

At his utterance, Don Matting began scribbling notes, such as the time of Charlie's acquiescence and the terms going forward. Though practices such as dowries and the bride price had been diminished in their importance in modern Cannabean culture, it was still expected that the parents of the bride gave some show of faith in the giving away of their daughter.

"Dowry?" Don simply stated, attempting to move the conversation along.

Charlie nodded his head and opened his mouth to speak.

"Actually, if you don't mind," Edward interjected. "I'd like to forego a dowry in exchange for the opportunity to be the one to tell Bella of the betrothal."

It seemed like such a simple request; hardly worthy of foregoing a financial gift from his future in-laws. But Edward knew the importance of what he was asking. It was Charlie's final rite-of-passage with his daughter, and in an effort to make things as special and momentous as possible for Bella, Edward was going to rob Charlie of this last right.

Charlie looked reluctant as he mulled the idea over. It was the last thing he had to look forward to: seeing his little girl's face when he told her of her future; telling her he loved her and how confident he was in Edward's ability to be a sound and loving husband.

But even without having all the details, Charlie could see ideas brewing in Edward's eyes. He obviously had grand plans in store that Charlie was positive the young couple would benefit from sharing together.

"You two will come by afterwards?" Charlie asked, still not wanting to relinquish witnessing Bella's acceptance written on her face. He wanted to see the happiness that he'd hoped for shining in her eyes.

"Of course," Edward readily agreed.

Charlie clicked his tongue as he continued to consider his final answer. "You'll tell her today? Tomorrow?"

"Well no," Edward furrowed his brow. "I need a little more time to prepare everything. I'll tell her…Friday?"

"Friday? You want me to keep this from her until Friday?" Charlie disagreed. "And assuming that I'd even be able to do that, I can assure you that her mother will not."

Edward smiled at that. "It'll be hard for me to keep it quiet too, but I just…I want to make it special and I know I'll regret it if I don't at least try. I want Bella to know that my decision wasn't an afterthought."

Charlie looked over at Carlisle and then Don. "Well…how do I argue with that?" he said as he put his palms down flat on the table. "Okay, Edward. 'Til Friday."

Don passed around the paper he'd been writing on and each man present initialed it in good faith. Afterwards, Carlisle stood, and when Charlie did the same, he shook his hand, communicating with a smile that their relationship had changed. They were now family.

Edward was in a fog as he followed his father to the front door. He only had until Friday to create something beyond Bella's expectations. Yet that didn't seem like a daunting task to him. The daunting task was how he would conceal the secret from the very person who watched him the closest.

At first, it was easy. Edward completely threw himself into planning mode from the moment he stepped off the Swan's step and headed home to his laptop. He holed himself up in his room and pulled up the website that housed the photo of the perfect ring.

"Whatcha got there?" Carlisle spoke as he leaned down over Edward's shoulder. Edward had been so engrossed in what he was doing that he hadn't even heard his father come in.

"Oh…uh…Bella's ring," Edward said.

"_That's_ Bella's ring?" Carlisle let out a low whistle. "Is it custom?"

Edward shook his head. "It's exclusive to this jeweler," Edward pointed at the screen. "I like the band. It represents two lives woven together as one."

"I don't think you'd be able to get that on such short notice. You could try calling up to Port Angeles or Seattle…"

"Beverly Hills," Edward said matter of fact.

"California?" Carlisle shook his head. "I don't know if I'd feel comfortable shipping something that valuable. Can you insure it?"

"I'm not going to ship it. I'm going to go get it," Edward said just as his printer started up and began spew out sheets of information. "I have a few suppliers I want to check in with anyway, so I can write it off as a business expense."

Although silent, Edward felt his father's presence in a big way. He turned to see that he was being watched intently.

"How…can you…is that…" he stammered before he merely pointed at the screen. "Is that the actual price?"

Edward shrugged. He didn't really care how much the ring cost and for the quality and cut he wanted, he felt the five-figure number was fair.

"Bella doesn't strike me as one who requires such extravagance," Carlisle hinted.

"It's not an issue of extravagance," Edward disagreed. "It's a statement of worth."

Carlisle smiled and patted his son on the shoulder. It was obvious that he wasn't going to be able to talk Edward out of the expense, in both time and money, which the item would cost him dearly. And based upon Edward's reasoning, Carlisle wasn't sure he should try to.

"I'm very proud of you, Edward," Carlisle said softly.

Edward's initial inclination was to deflect the sentiment; to minimize the emotion before quickly changing the subject. But then he was reminded of Bella's words to him: _"Why do you do that?"_

"Thanks, Dad," he said instead. It felt good to hear his father's expression of pride, and for a short while, Edward allowed himself to revel in that feeling.

But then Edward's phone rang, and his world began to tilt a little. As soon as he saw the picture of the graceful swan, he knew it was Bella.

His heart leapt into his throat. There was no way he could speak to her without her knowing that something was up. He would ruin his surprise in mere minutes.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Carlisle asked.

"Uh…I have to get to work. I'll call from there." Edward rushed to shut down his computer before racing to the privacy of his office.

Once there, he found that the more complete his plans became, the more determined and confident he became about being able to keep his secret.

And that was a good thing considering there were things Edward needed from Bella, and therefore he had to see her before he boarded that plane to California. He needed her ring size, he needed her smile and he needed to feel the warmth of her skin beneath his fingertips.

When he'd gotten his bearings together, he called Bella back, and just as he'd suspected, she was suspicious. Unbeknownst to him, Bella had seen Edward that morning at her house and she asked him about it point blank. And either he was really good at being evasive or she was simply letting him off the hook, but when he didn't directly answer her queries, she let the issue drop.

Quickly Edward brought up the issue of California, and when Bella sounded disappointed, he was comforted by his reason for going. He reassured her that he'd be gone for less than twenty-four hours and then, knowing that she had the use of her parents' car, invited her to meet him for lunch.

Within the hour later, they were seated across from one another at the In Place restaurant in town, and if Edward had thought Bella _sounded_ sad on the phone, it was no match for the melancholy that lined her eyes.

When he asked her about it, her response to him warmed his heart.

"I'm just…never really comfortable when someone I…care about gets on an airplane," Bella confessed.

_I care about you, too._ It was on the tip of his tongue, but Edward knew the moment he made that admission, it'd be impossible not to go a step further. He'd tell her he loved her, of what he had planned and he'd completely ruin the surprise.

So instead, he took her palm in his and favored it with affection. As his lips trailed over her dainty hand, he took in the sight of her fingers, noticing that they were much smaller than he'd assumed.

He needed to find out what size ring she wore before he left so that he could have the ring sized properly at the jeweler in California. There was no way he was letting anyone but a high end dealer get their hands on the piece he was planning to buy.

At first it seemed like there was no way to get her finger measurement without alerting Bella of his reason for wanting it. But then their order was delivered to the table and as Edward extracted his straw from its wrapper, the solution presented itself.

After he was fairly certain that he'd cloaked his intentions in immature antics, Edward picked up the wrapper and wound it skillfully around Bella's fourth finger, careful to look nonchalant as he ripped the paper where it made a complete circle before casting it aside as if it were of no importance.

"Do you have a favorite movie?" Edward asked.

Bella stared at him for a moment, like she was trying to gauge whether or not he was joking. Finally she smiled and shook her head. "I don't really watch movies. We don't have a television, remember?"

"Oh, that's right," Edward nodded. "So you've never seen a movie?"

Bella's cheeks colored and her lips pursed in a grin. "Well…I've seen a couple…maybe three. Back in Montana, when I was like…twelve, me and this girl in the church used to sneak down into her grandparents' basement and watch old Beta tapes from her grandfather's collection."

"And what did you see?" Edward asked, enthralled by what her answer might be.

Although her entire face had reddened by this time, Bella simply shook her head. "I don't even know. I was so nervous that we'd get caught that I couldn't even focus on what was on the screen. Anyway, it wasn't long after that that we came down to the basement to find that everything had been cleared out, so our movie-viewing experiences were short-lived."

"Did everyone, all the Cannabeans in your church, abstain from television? Because that's not the way it is here," Edward said.

"I noticed," Bella nodded. "But, no, there were other Cannabeans who weren't as strict as my dad. But there were also some who were more restrictive. I could listen to music as long as the lyrics weren't bad, but I had friends who couldn't even do that. They could only listen to Cannabean songs."

"I watch TV," Edward offered. "When I have time."

"What do you watch?" Bella asked as she toyed with the edge of her napkin.

Now it was Edward's turn to be bashful. "I like game shows." His brothers had long since stopped teasing him about his weakness for brain-stimulating contest and quiz shows. But Edward had learned to be guarded with the information regarding his favorite pastime.

"Like Jeopardy and Wheel-o-Fortune?" Bella asked.

"Yeah," Edward said more enthusiastically than he wanted to admit to. "How do you know about those?"

"Well, I happen not to live in a cave, but they're also board games. I used to play them in school," Bella laughed.

Edward laughed along with her and as she seemed to lighten up and relax, so did he. When the conversation turned to food, clothing and travel, Edward sensed things were winding down and he looked at his watch to see that he did, in fact, have to get to the airport if he planned to make his flight in time.

"We'd better get going," Edward said as he stood. He quickly tossed the appropriate amount of money on the table to cover their meal before he reached across and grabbed the little piece of paper that represented Bella's ring size, and slipped it into his pocket.

Edward's car was parked alongside the back of the restaurant and he led Bella to his vehicle under the guise of discarding his jacket, but really he just wanted to be alone with her for a few moments before he left the state.

For the little while that they stood together, Edward just kept looking at Bella knowing that in a short little while, she would be his wife. As that thought danced around in his head, he couldn't keep his eyes from washing over her curves as he contemplated the other benefits of matrimony.

So smooth was her skin as he kissed her cheek that he couldn't refrain from going a step further, to her mouth.

"I'll call you as soon as the plane touches down," Edward promised, and when he saw the sadness return to her features, it was all he could do not to blurt out the purpose of his trip. _It'll be worth it. It'll be worth it,_ he recited to himself over and over.

After leaving Bella, Edward made a quick trip to the bank before jetting off for the airport. He'd only packed a small carry-on, physically solidifying his intent to only be gone for a short while.

As he boarded the plane, Edward had a small bout of anxiety. He'd never had issues with flying before, but suddenly his life had more value to it and anything that could possibly cause a separation between he and Bella threatened his calm.

Three hours later when he'd exited the automatic doors at LAX, hopped in a cab and offered up prayers of thanksgiving for his safety as he made his way toward Rodeo Drive for his appointment at Harry Winston.

"Mr. Cullen?"

A middle-aged man greeted Edward the moment he walked into the upscale store. As if looking for a nametag, Edward searched his shirt before he looked over at the man with a smile.

"What gave me away?"

"You're holding a bag and on the phone you said you'd be traveling. I just managed to put two and two together," the man held out his hand toward Edward. "I'm Steven, and if you'd like to step over here, I'll show you the piece you came all this way to get."

"I can get it sized by tomorrow morning, right?" Edward asked quickly.

"Sure, or we can size it now if you'd like to wait," Steven offered.

"I'd like to wait," Edward said quickly. He would do everything he could to insure that he was back in Washington by tomorrow morning, just like he'd said he would be.

"And what size did you need?" Steven asked as he positioned the selected ring for optimal display.

Edward fished the torn off piece of wrapper paper out of his pocket. "Do you have any clear tape?"

Steven looked at him quizzically for a moment before waving a lower level clerk over and requesting a roll of transparent tape from the front desk. Once Edward had the tape, he went to work constructing the circumference of the wrapper in the way that it had fit around Bella's finger. He taped it securely before handing it over to Steven.

"Sorry," Edward apologized. "It was the only way I could find out without her realizing what I was doing."

Steven smiled. "You're fine. I've seen stranger things than this come in here. Bottle caps, paperclips…never a straw wrapper though. Kudos to you for creativity." He sized up the wrapper with a circular bracket. "It looks like your lady love is a size five."

Edward nodded and eyed the ring with satisfaction. He was certain that Bella would love it.

"You look nervous," Steven smiled again as he shined the ring with a soft cloth. "I'm sure she'll say yes."

Again Edward nodded and smiled. He didn't bother to explain to Steven that he was Cannabean, and as such, it wasn't expected that he would ask Bella for her hand in marriage – for he'd already received permission from her father. But Edward knew this custom wouldn't be understood by secular thinking.

Technically, even a true Cannabean wouldn't understand what Edward was about to do. Because as a Cannabean, he also wasn't expected to ceremoniously announce the betrothal to Bella. But that was exactly what he was planning to do, and with grand flair.

"You must know a lot about wedding planning, right? Since people buy a lot of wedding rings here?" Edward guessed.

"Well…we're not exclusively known for wedding rings, but what did you want to know?" Steven asked.

"Do you know anything about renting swans?" Edward had gotten the idea from the icon he'd put on his phone to notify him of a call from Bella. In addition to the surname of a family that was now very important to him, swans were a symbol of love and fidelity. Edward knew this because he'd had a chance to look it up on the Internet while he was waiting for his flight to board.

"Not really," Steven admitted. "But I'd be happy to make some calls if you'd like."

Edward nodded his appreciation; while he waited for the ring to be sized, Steven called some numbers he found in the phone book. By the time the ring was complete, Steven had given Edward three businesses to choose from.

"This last one actually sells water fowl, but maybe they'd be willing to rent to you if the price is right," Steven hinted.

Back at his hotel, armed with telephone numbers and a cell phone, Edward began to make a few calls. The first call he placed didn't prove to be very fruitful, as they were near closing hours and didn't want to put in the time to speak with him. The second rental facility prattled off a ridiculously high price for the short notice, and when they found out he wasn't local, they refused to assist him all together.

Fortunately Steven had had the foresight to give him the telephone number of a poultry, gamebird and livestock dealer who knew a thing or two about customer service. He was able to answer all of Edward's questions and was also able to meet Edward's deadline. However, there was one drawback: the swans would be Edward's to keep, as they didn't rent swans, they only sold them.

After ending his call, Edward caught sight of his reflection in the large mirror over the dresser and he shook his head at the spontaneous, expensive and time-consuming idea he'd committed himself to in less than twenty-four hours.

"This had better work," Edward muttered. Because if it didn't, the pair of swans that he'd just purchased would always be a symbol of his failure and impetuous thinking, instead of the romantic gesture he was hoping for.

His travels and high expectations left him weary and spent. So after a quick shower and a call to confirm his visit to two suppliers in the morning, Edward typed out a text message to Bella, wanting his last action of the day to be for and about her.

The next few days were a flurry of activity. On Wednesday, Edward made it back to Forks much later than he'd hoped and instead of returning home, he went straight to his office where a few issues had crept up in his absence.

On Thursday, Edward awaited his express delivery at the post office. He searched for Charlie's car in the parking lot, and once he was sure that Charlie had left for the day, Edward headed inside. He'd made it this far – the last thing he wanted to risk was his future father-in-law spilling the beans on what he had planned.

The swans arrived right on time and Edward led the postal attendant to the fleet truck he'd borrowed from the vineyard. The birds fluttered and fretted against the cages, and though reluctant to admit it to himself, Edward found himself very intimidated by them.

"What are you gonna do with these?" the postal attendant asked.

"I'm going to put them in my lake," Edward answered as he secured the first cage into the back of the truck bed.

_My lake._ He'd only recently begun thinking of it in this way, slowly accepting what was rightfully his. Bella had helped him do this, though she probably had no clue that she did. That's just who she was. Sweet, helpful, unassuming Bella.

By Friday, Edward was a nervous wreck. In his mind, every possible negative scenario played out vividly. The swans would come down with an aggressive disease and die by breakfast. The rainless forecast would be a mistake and a torrential downpour would cover the land. He'd get a flat tire on the way to retrieve Bella. He'd trip in her driveway and the ring would fly out of his pocket, out of its protective box and down a nearby sewage drain. Charlie would change his mind. He'd find some loophole in the arrangement and deem Edward unworthy based upon…something.

"You look terrified."

Edward looked up so quickly that he felt the muscle in his neck strain. His parents had left earlier to go into town; Edward had thought he was alone. Apparently Emmett had thought the same thing because he looked shocked to see Edward.

"How long have you been here?" Edward asked his brother.

"Not long. I told Mom I was coming over to drop off these mock-ups before they went to print. I guess she forgot," Emmett shrugged.

Edward cast a glance at the designs that were now lying on the table beside him. "She went out with Dad. They'll be back later."

There was a pause of silence. "Are you sick or something? You're not usually here on Fridays."

The way Emmett stated it made Edward think that there was a special party that went on every Friday that he wasn't invited to. But he decided not to be difficult.

"No, I'm not sick. I…took the day off," he answered.

"Oh."

Edward heard rustling and shuffling of feet and he knew his brother was getting ready to leave.

"Alright…well can you tell Mom-"

"I'm getting married," Edward interrupted. His voice, though even, displayed his nervousness. He looked over at his brother sheepishly and to any onlooker, their birth order was evident.

"Today?" Emmett was astonished and flustered.

"No, not today," Edward looked at Emmett as if he was crazy. "She doesn't even know yet."

Emmett grinned. "Well that explains the look of terror," he chuckled. "Bella?"

Edward nodded. "I'm going to tell her this morning."

"_You_ are?" Emmett asked as if he hadn't heard correctly. He knew how things were traditionally done. He'd spent the better part of half a day with Rosalie's father while they hashed out betrothal details.

Again, Edward simply nodded.

"That's great, Edward," Emmett stepped over to give his baby brother a pat on the back. "Are you…happy?"

Edward looked up, his forest eyes steeling into his brother's sky-blue gaze. "Extremely." And there was no hint of it being anything but the truth.

The chat with Emmett and been short and uncharacteristic, but it had succeeded in distracting Edward from his series of morbid thoughts long enough to make it to Bella's house without having a panic attack.

She looked as eager to see him as he was to see her, and if Charlie hadn't been hovering over them at the door, he would have taken her in his arms and kissed her until the tension of their separation had melted away.

"You're alone?" Bella asked when Edward opened the passenger door of the car for her.

"Yeah. It's just a short ride to my house," Edward said. He tried to keep a straight face, knowing that she had no idea they were no longer under the restrictions of the Discovery Phase.

Bella was obviously torn. She wanted to go with Edward, but she was under the impression that her father would not approve if she got into Edward's car unchaperoned.

"Trust me, Bella," Edward implored.

And she did. On a pure act of faith, Bella climbed into the car trusting that Edward was doing the right thing, and if he wasn't, that he was willing to usurp the consequences of any wrongdoing.

Edward smiled to himself as he crossed to his side of the car. He knew it wouldn't be long until he and Bella could shower one another with affection uninhibitedly. In fact, if everything went according to plan, it would be less than an hour before forbidden touches, caresses and kisses were a thing of the past.

Though Edward had been worried that he would ruin his surprise during the small talk they'd share on the way to his property, it was quickly revealed that he hadn't needed to be. A phone call interrupted the car ride almost immediately, and since it was from his realtor, Edward answered it.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'll just be a moment," Edward apologized. But if he was getting the closing details for his escrow, it would aid him and Bella in deciding on a wedding date.

"Edward, I have bad news."

_Of course_. Edward's omen of negativity was about to begin. He felt his chest tighten and his breathing began to sound hollow in his ears.

"Oh?" Edward asked, trying not to alert Bella to any problem. Not now. Not when he was trying to create the perfect day for her.

"The seller wasn't exactly honest in his dealings. The IRS has just placed a lien against the property for back taxes and the seller isn't going to be able to rectify that prior to the close of escrow. Assuming, of course, that you even want to proceed."

"How much is the lien?" Edward asked as if he were considering the option. He wasn't, but he figured that it might be a way to get his realtor to answer certain questions without him having to ask, therefore risking Bella figuring out the bad news.

"I haven't gotten the fax from the other realtor, but she said it was three years' worth of back taxes, so I imagine it's quite a sum," Edward's realtor answered. "So, just think about what you want to do, but if I were you, I'd start looking for something else."

After a few more suggestions and exchanges, Edward was able to end the call and it was a good thing, since he'd already arrived at his destination.

"Where are we, Edward?" Bella asked as she looked around at the secluded area.

"Well…you've made a few comments about my land. I thought you'd like to see it from the other side…before I decide what to do with it," Edward added.

That was an acceptable answer to Bella and she followed him across the clearing, not looking twice at the trail of tire tread marks that might have served as a signal to the fact that someone had recently driven across the same path.

As Edward walked, he tried, with certain difficulty, not to focus on the bad news he'd just received. Without a home to move into, the wedding would be pushed back even further. Sure, he could find another house, but escrows took time and what if the same thing happened again?

And if that wasn't enough to dampen his spirits, up ahead, the lake came into view and Edward noticed that the swans were nowhere in sight. Instinctively, he thrust his hand deeper into his pocket and tightened his grip around the ring box. With the sudden turn of events, it was quite probable that he'd lose that, too.

"I missed you."

At the sound of her voice, and the reminder of just why he was there, the tension fled from Edward's body, and the off-kilter skew that had colored his world for days, was righted.

"I missed you, too," he smiled at her. He looked down at her hand, and how empty it looked without his in it. _Soon, _he reminded himself. He shuffled his hand against the ring box and held it, instead.

The subject of his land came up again and without much effort Edward found himself once again speaking of the feud it caused in his family. But this was Bella's day and he didn't want to focus on that, so as soon as the conversation allowed, he changed the subject.

"You're so benevolent." He spoke of her eagerness to bridge the differences between himself and his brothers.

"Is that a bad thing?" she asked. Her eyes were playful.

"No," Edward stepped toward her like a cat to a mouse. "It most definitely isn't a bad thing." His arm slid around her waist and she felt so good as he pressed into her.

"Edward…" she whispered. She sounded unsure as she looked up at him through endearing eyes.

But whatever she was going to say was quickly overshadowed by the two large swans finally making their appearance.

Bella stepped sideways and leaned into Edward, as if seeking his protection. Though he didn't like that she was frightened, he was delighted to be considered her protector.

When Bella admitted that she didn't really know much about swans, despite her last name, Edward took that as an entry to what he'd been waiting all week to do. He started off slowly, reciting tidbits from the literature he'd read up on.

At first, Bella responded to what he said with questions, like a star pupil. She even seemed amused at Edward's personating of the swans.

"He's completely enamored by her…he's totally devoted to her…"

Edward could pinpoint the exact moment when Bella realized what was happening by the way her eyes began to glisten as the sunlight reflected against her tears. Edward continued his verbal display of love and admiration as he slid the ring on Bella's finger; but she didn't look down to see what he'd adorned her with. Instead, she kept her eyes locked on his as emotion seized her and she began to cry.

"I hope these are tears of joy," Edward said with a smile as he cupped her face in his hands.

There was a hint of a smile as she nodded through her tears before collapsing into Edward's embrace.

"I love you," he said after momentarily kissing away her tears.

"I love you, too," she returned.

The tender, celebratory kiss that followed was quickly replaced by one of fiery passion and hunger when Edward felt Bella timidly touch the tip of his tongue with her own.

"Oh, Bella," Edward whispered breathlessly as he twisted his fingers in her hair and pressed her mouth to his. When her hands traveled over his shoulders, up his neck and dipped into his hair, Edward felt himself shiver at her touch.

He'd waited too long for this. Much too long.

Hand in hand, they turned their back on the swans and strolled toward Edward's car.

"I told your dad we'd come by," Edward said.

"I was wondering how we were going to handle that," Bella nodded. "He's expecting us, then?"

"Yes."

They walked a few more steps in silence before Edward stopped in his tracks and pulled Bella to him. She leaned in for a kiss, thinking that was what he wanted, but when she saw the pensive expression on his face, she froze.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'd like to tell you something, but I'd like it to be just between us. I don't want you to tell your parents," Edward said.

"Okay," Bella nodded quickly like a woman with complete trust. "What is it?"

"Uh, the house that I was buying," Edward readied himself for her reaction. "It's not going to work out. I don't think I'm going to be able to buy it."

"Was it too expensive?" Bella asked as if this was her assumption.

Edward shook his head. "Nothing like that. The seller is losing it to the IRS for not paying taxes. It could work out, I just don't want to chance it."

"I wouldn't either," Bella agreed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to ruin your day, but I also didn't want to keep it from you…"

"Edward, don't be sorry. It's not your fault and it's not a big deal."

"It's going to delay the wedding, Bella."

"It'll be okay," Bella said. She didn't seem very upset by the fact that the house he'd wanted to buy was no longer an option. It almost seemed like she was relieved.

"I'd like to have a solution before we tell our parents," Edward added. "But if they ask you point blank-"

"I'll tell them that you're handling it," Bella finished.

Edward smiled. "Okay."

Once they were settled into the car, Edward happened a glance at Bella and she was watching him with admiration. He leaned across the seat and kissed her tenderly.

Time seemed to seep by as hands left hands and moved to waists, to arms, to faces; swollen lips became better acquainted as Bella and Edward discovered the taste and feel of one another.

"I could kiss you forever," Edward admitted.

Bella merely smiled as she lifted her hand to sweep a strand of Edward's hair back from his face. It was then that she caught a clear view of her ring.

"Oh my goodness! Edward!" she gasped as she held up her hand to examine the numerous diamonds that made up her ring.

"Do you like it?" he asked, already knowing the answer by her reaction.

"I love it!" Bella exclaimed as she drew Edward in for a hug. "You, the ring, the swans, the location… I love it all."

As Edward took in Bella's words, he got the feeling that she was trying to tell him something, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what.

That might have had something to do with Bella's lips and what they were presently doing to his.

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**A picture of Bella's ring can be seen at the Twilighted forum for this story, page 281**


	20. Chapter 19 The Quilting Bee

**The Quilting Bee. **_A practice where the women within a Cannabean community get together to encourage and educate the bride-to-be on the more delicate and intimate aspects of marriage. The Quilting Bee is named based upon the passage that 'idle hands are the devil's playthings'. Therefore, though women gather to talk, they keep their hands busy with a project, be it quilting, knitting, or crafting. _

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Bella was absolutely radiant as she and Edward sat across from her parents at the little table that had seen a lot of activity since the day Edward had been granted an acquaintance meeting with her.

"I know that Cannabean weddings are customarily outdoors, but there's so much rain in Forks, how do you even plan for one?" Renee wondered.

"My parents have huge tents that they use to cover the vines during long stretches of harsh weather. We could plan to use those if we needed them," Edward offered.

Bella had seen the catalog photos of those tents lying on the Cullen's kitchen counter when Jasper had initially approached Esme about ordering them. They were huge, and hardly necessary for the meager wedding that she would most likely have.

Once that thought passed through Bella's mind, she realized that most of the people she would have invited wouldn't travel all the way to Washington from Montana, just to attend her wedding. And Edward had business associates and acquaintances from church, but not many close friends.

And then, of course, there was the issue of family. Estranged or not, they would most likely be at the wedding, but there weren't many of them either.

"Do we…know enough people to warrant the use of that tent?" Bella softly asked Edward.

Edward appeared discomfited for a brief moment. "Yes," he returned just as softly. "We do."

Cannabeans believed marriage to be a true unity between a man and a woman, and one of the first illustrations of this was at the wedding ceremony, where there were no sides delineated to bride or groom. Instead, all guests sat intermingled, his family with hers, and her friends with his, because as husband and wife, it was understood that they would share their friends and family in unity.

And apparently, Edward had quite a bit of friends and family.

"The entire town comes," Edward explained when he saw the confusion on Bella and Renee's faces. "Not just the Cannabeans from church, the entire church; and then my dad's colleagues from the hospital, and my mother's clients…and mine."

As Edward spoke, Bella could feel herself starting to get overwhelmed. _How would her parents afford such an event? Cannabean weddings were long, celebratory affairs. How could they feed the entire town for such an extended period? And decorate on such a grand scale? Impossible on the Swan's meager budget._

Bella looked into her mother's eyes, searching for the limitations she was sure she'd see there.

But Renee looked resigned, as if she had given up worrying and was simply taking in information at this point.

"I'd like a simple wedding," Bella stated as she watched her mother. Renee's lips slightly turned upward into a smile; she knew what her daughter was doing.

"Bella, it's okay," Renee nodded at her.

Edward looked over at Bella as if he were trying to decipher the silent conversation happening between mother and daughter.

"What's wrong?" he asked Bella.

Her first inclination was to tell him that nothing was wrong, that she was merely trying to take it all in.

But this man was going to be her husband, and she didn't want to start this new chapter of their lives together by being dishonest.

"Can I see you in the other room for a moment?" Bella whispered.

Edward looked immediately concerned, but he didn't hesitate to grant her request.

"What is it?" Edward asked eagerly once they were alone.

"There are two problems," Bella whispered so that they wouldn't be overheard. "My parents can't afford a wedding that includes the entire town. That's just…unreasonable," she settled. "The last thing I want to be is a burden."

Edward had begun shaking his head after Bella had uttered her first sentence. "I don't expect them to pay for all of it. I'm sure my parents will pay for most of it. It won't be a burden, I promise. Okay?" Edward smiled as if his words settled the issue, but Bella held her hand up to signal that she wasn't finished.

"Which brings us to the second problem," Bella began. "My parents have been preparing for my wedding practically my entire life. To take that out of their hands…it would be a huge insult to my father. And to insinuate that he couldn't afford it would be just as big an insult," Bella stressed. "It's a lose-lose situation."

"Not necessarily," Edward disagreed. "But nothing has to be decided right now. Give me some time to think about it and I'm sure I can come up with something that is acceptable to your parents."

Bella looked skeptical, but she agreed. After all, what else could she do?

Renee and Charlie looked as if they'd been discussing something as well, when Bella and Edward returned to the table.

"Everything alright?" Renee asked, her eyes laced with concern.

"Everything's great," Edward responded with a hearty smile. "We're just realizing how much we still have yet to talk about. Though when it comes to wedding planning, I think it's my job to just grin and nod."

Charlie laughed. "You learn fast."

"Oh, Bella, I almost forgot, I got a call from Marlene Dunnis this morning, and she said that she can do brocade work to the bottom of my wedding dress to lengthen it for you. If we send it out now, she said she can have it back to us in less than a month," Renee stated excitedly.

Bella noticed how her father seemed to be just as pleased about the information as her mother did, and therefore she made quick work of concealing her true feelings.

To say that something was 'old-fashioned' in Cannabean culture was simply an oxy-moron, but that was exactly what Renee Swan's wedding dress was. It was second only to a nun's habit. And Renee was nearly a head shorter than Bella, so that meant that Marlene Dunnis, the go-to dressmaker for all Billings, Montana Cannabeans, would have to add a noticeable amount of brocade to the already heavy dress.

Bella wanted to groan out loud. Her mother's dress was the exact opposite of what she wanted to wear. Renee's dress was stately and coarse; Bella longed for airy and light. And though she knew a modest dress was the only option, Bella couldn't help wanting her groom to see _her _in her dress and not the boxy outline of unforgiving fabric.

"Oh…really?" Bella did well to keep her voice from faltering. "You're not nervous about sending your wedding dress all the way to Montana through the mail?"

Renee smiled. "Are you kidding? My baby girl is getting married; I'd send that dress to Timbuktu if I needed to."

_Oh…great._

If Renee's enthusiasm over the dress wasn't enough, over the next few days, Bella's mother proved that she was fluent in another language: wedding.

"Look at these invitations, Bella," she said as she slid a sample across the kitchen counter to Bella.

"Where did you get these?" Bella asked as she handled the fine linen paper.

"I sent away for them. You can get samples of any invitation you want. Did you know that?" Renee seemed impressed. "It wasn't like that when I married your father."

Bella smiled as she watched her mother's fingers sift through the abundance of invitations spread out in front of her. She was happy that her mother was deriving such pleasure from planning the wedding. Not once had her mother expressed a concern over cost, though Bella had overheard her father tell her mother that he was bidding on extra routes for the post office.

It was then that Bella decided that her parents' sacrifices were worth compromise on her part. Guiltily, she looked over at the wedding dress that was hanging on a hook in the corner where it would stay until it was adequately packaged to be sent to Montana. It was just as unsightly as she'd remembered it to be when she'd seen it in her mother's closet as a little girl. Secretly, Bella hoped the wedding dress was the largest compromise she'd have to make.

In addition to dresses, invitations and guest lists, Renee began to prattle on about photographers, food choices and whether or not the weather would cooperate.

And though Bella thought her mother had gone overboard with wedding details, she soon realized that Renee had nothing on Esme.

Late one Friday afternoon, when Edward and Bella were preparing for their betrothal study, Esme flitted into the den with an assortment of menus. She spoke so rapidly that Bella couldn't follow beyond the second word. When she looked over at Edward to translate, he simply shrugged.

"Just nod," he suggested. "It's what I do."

"Nancy Guiest said her niece could play the harp during dinner if you'd like. Just for ambiance," Esme quickly added, lest Bella think she was implying that there would be dancing.

"Oh, that sounds nice," Bella began.

"And I plan to have the vine tents pressure washed so that they'll be pristine and perfect for the wedding, should we need to use them," Esme continued on.

"That's great, Es-"

"You know, I was thinking," Esme stated with consideration, "you should use the tents either way. Since the feast will most likely run into the night, it'll be nice to have shelter from the cool air. And those tents look beautiful with twinkle lights running through them. I once used them to decorate for a tasting for one of our vendors and, oh!" Esme held her hand to her chest for emphasis. "It was so beautiful. I decided right then and there that we simply must do something like that for our next big event…and guess what? Your wedding is the next big event!"

"Mom," Edward politely prodded as he pointed to his book. "We're going to get started here, so…"

"Oh yes, yes, of course," Esme said as she picked up the menus. "We'll talk more about this tomorrow morning, Bella."

"Okay," Bella smiled. She turned to see Edward looking at her quizzically. "Quilting Bee," she reminded him.

"Oh." Quickly Edward averted his eyes and looked down at his book. Bella watched with intrigue as his neck and ears flourished into a dark shade of pink.

"Edward, are you blushing?" she asked him.

"Uh…no," he insisted as he began flipping through pages. "Since we were going to revisit the chapter on expectations anyway, I thought financial expectations would be a good place to start… you know, with the wedding coming up and everything," Edward swiftly changed the subject.

"Sure," Bella agreed. Unbeknownst to Edward, finances had been weighing heavily on her mind. She was worried about the cost of the wedding, even though Edward had told her she didn't need to be. After all, he was a man, and men rarely understood the detail and cost that went into a wedding.

But it wasn't only the wedding that worried Bella. Cannabean custom mandated that Edward secured a home before he and Bella could marry. And since the real estate transaction Edward had been bound to fell apart, it didn't look like they'd be finding a place to live any time soon.

Because Edward didn't say much on the matter, neither did Bella. She didn't want him to think that she'd lost faith in him, though it was a little unsettling that he was so blasé about financial matters.

In truth, Edward never seemed to place much of an emphasis on money either way. He didn't appear wasteful, yet he also spared no expense on things that he wanted. His car, his shoes, his technology – Bella could tell they were all expensive. Yet she'd also seen him barter over cost and make decisions based upon the lowest price. No, Edward definitely couldn't be defined as frugal or frivolous.

While Bella mused over the state of their financial affairs, she noticed Edward out of the corner of her eye, folding and unfolding a sheet of paper. He held the sheet out as if he were going to give it to her, and then rescinded the gesture.

"What's that?" Bella pointed to the paper.

"It's just a spreadsheet I worked up," Edward relented and gave Bella the paper. "I followed the suggestion in the chapter and wrote down my accounts and obligations. Do you have any?"

"I have a bank account back in Billings. It's joint with my parents, but they've never touched it. I don't even think they remember I've got it," Bella said. "Anyway, it's got a little over-" The remaining words perished in Bella's throat as she focused on the numbers on the spreadsheet Edward had given her.

_One, two three, four, five, six…_ she began to count the places from the decimal point. "You're a _millionaire_?" she asked Edward in disbelief.

"Well…technically, most of my money is tied up in my company…which, as a corporation, is it's own entity, apart from me. But I suppose if I were to liquidate everything…yes…I guess I am." Edward smiled. "But if I liquidated everything, I'm sure that would mean that I wouldn't have any money for long, as I'd be out of a job."

Bella almost asked him why he'd never told her or even hinted at his wealth, but she knew the answer without him even having to tell her: he wanted to make sure she was attracted to him for all the right reasons.

"Is this a big secret or something?" Bella asked. Though Edward probably wouldn't flaunt his bottom line, meddlesome mothers eager to hitch their daughters' to diamond-crusted wagons surely would have sniffed out Edward's worth.

"Like I said, I don't really consider it all mine. I mean, it _is_ all mine, but there are a lot of expenses involved in running the business, so, it's not like I can spend months at a time vacationing in Europe or something," Edward clarified. "My father always says that a man is rich when his money works for him. Well, I still work pretty hard for my money, so I don't consider myself rich at all."

Bella eyed the spreadsheet again. Edward had broken his holdings out into columns. There were assets, where he'd listed his land and company inventory, there were receivables and then there was cash.

His checking account currently held more money than her father made in an entire year.

She didn't even bother to look at the savings account.

"Well…I guess this explains why you weren't worried about the cost of the wedding," Bella let out a light laugh.

"Cannabean couples don't pay for their own weddings, you know that. Besides, I'm not worried about the wedding because there's nothing to worry about," Edward told her.

"Except maybe the cost of feeding the entire town," Bella exaggerated.

Edward smiled. "It's not going to be as bad as all that. Plus, I think my mother is working on getting the food donated, at least a large portion of it. Anyway, if my mother hosts the dinner through the winery, the expense of it is tax deductible. At least that's how I plan to pitch it to your father so that he doesn't get offended at my parents offering to pay for it."

Bella considered Edward's plan for a moment. "That just may work," she agreed.

Edward placed his book on the table in front of him before putting his arm around Bella and drawing her nearer to him.

"I'm sorry you've been worried all this time. The last thing I want you to be is stressed about marrying me," Edward said as he planted a kiss against Bella's cheekbone.

"I'm not stressed about marrying you," Bella elucidated.

"Good," Edward all but whispered before covering Bella's mouth with his own.

It was hard to get used to – freely kissing and being kissed by Edward openly, in front of his parents and hers. But each time they were together, Edward initiated physical contact more and more, and it was getting easier to succumb to, as her body sought him out.

"I love you," he whispered as his tongue traced the contour of her bottom lip.

"I love you," she returned, and it was a firmer truth each time she uttered it.

As they kissed, Bella became aware of Edward's hands as they moved from her neck, to her shoulder down her arm…and then ever so slightly, he grazed the side of her breast.

In an instant, her eyes were open and she saw that even though their lips were still connected, Edward's eyes were open as well. He was watching her.

Immediately she was embarrassed by her reaction, and even more embarrassed when she looked down and saw her nipples pressing against her top. Bella ducked her head down and pulled her sweater closed across her chest.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked as he leaned down and attempted to look Bella in the eye.

Before she could timidly tell him that he'd simply caught her off guard, they heard a loud crash in the kitchen, and they both jumped up to inspect what the source of the noise was.

"Mom?" Edward hastened over to Esme's side when he found her leaning against the kitchen counter, her eyes shut tight. She was surrounded by the shattered pieces of a crystal salad bowl. "Did you cut yourself?"

After a few moments of deep breathing, Esme opened her eyes and looked at Edward. "Well, did I? I can't bear to look if I did," she said.

Edward and Bella both inspected her for injury and found no visible sign of one.

"I don't see any cuts," Edward said. "What happened?"

"Oh, I'm just clumsy," Esme smiled. Then to Bella she added, "Rosalie called and told me the salad you made for lunch was the best she'd ever tasted. She told me the recipe you gave her over the phone and I was trying to make it. So much for that now."

"I can make it for you if you'd like," Bella looked at the remaining ingredients and saw that she had enough to put together a small salad.

"You and Edward were in the middle of your time together. I don't want to interrupt," Esme said.

"It'll only take a minute," Bella said. "Okay, Edward?"

"Sure," Edward agreed. He pulled a broom out of a side closet and cleaned up the mess of glass as Bella went to work on the side dish.

"I'm just going to…I'll be back," Esme said as she headed up the stairs.

"So…" Edward began.

Bella thought he was waiting until he was sure his mother was out of earshot before he weighed in on what he thought had happened.

So she was again caught off guard when that wasn't at all what he wanted to talk about.

"You had lunch with Rosalie?" he asked.

"Yes," Bella nodded. "Unintentionally, actually."

"Unintentionally? How'd that happen?"

"Well…I went over to the lake to feed the swans-"

"Sweetheart, you don't have to feed the swans. They eat what's in the lake," Edward said. Bella could tell he wanted to make sure she knew that he didn't expect her to take on that responsibility.

"I know, but I like feeding them. I like to watch them swim and play… I like the lake," Bella stole a glance at Edward as she spoke. "It's peaceful there."

"Oh…well, how'd you end up having lunch with Rosalie?" Edward asked after a moment.

"The children had wandered down to the lake to see the swans, and after a little while, she came down to see where they'd gotten off to. We sat and talked for a bit and I gave her some of my salad," Bella said lightly. "I can't believe she walked all the way to the lake. She looks like she's going to have that baby any second."

"Well if she keeps walking around like that, she probably will," Edward added.

"I said the same thing, so she let me give her a ride back to her house," Bella said.

"Next time to go out to have lunch with the swans," Edward said as he walked over to Bella and put his arms around her, "call me, and I'll meet you there."

"Tomorrow?" Bella quirked an eyebrow at him. "Oh, wait, I can't. I have to go to that quilting bee with my mother and yours."

And for the briefest of moments, Bella saw Edward flinch. It was enough to alert her to the fact that something was awry.

The next day, she got further confirmation of something being remiss when Esme arrived promptly at noon to pick up Bella and Renee – in a two-seater compact car.

As Bella walked to the front door, Renee, who had never really looked ready to leave the house, informed Esme that she really wasn't up for the outing that afternoon.

"Esme, do you think that maybe you and Bella could go to the quilting bee without me? I have a million and one things to do today and there's no way I'd be able to relax enough to enjoy myself," Renee stated.

"Say no more," Esme said quickly. "It'll give me some time to tell Bella all of Edward's deep, dark secrets anyway," Esme laughed. "Like the time when he was three years old and suddenly became terrified of flushing the toilet."

While the two ladies laughed about the antics of young Edward, Bella's mind raced to settle her suspicions. It was now abundantly clear that Renee never had any intention of accompanying her and Esme to the quilting bee, but why she chose to keep it a secret until the last moment was odd.

Bella was just about to let her mother know that she was aware that something was up when Esme paused in her laughter and leaned over and held her side suddenly.

"Esme, dear, what is it?" Renee asked with concern.

After a few deep breaths, Esme shook off all the attention. "It's nothing. Just a stomach cramp. I get them sometimes," she waved it off. "Well, I guess we'd better get going. Wouldn't want to keep the fellow quilters waiting."

The wink that Esme cast Renee was clearly not meant to be seen by Bella, but it was. In addition to that anomaly, was the fact that neither Esme nor Bella took anything remotely related to quilting with them as they made their way toward the church and it's basement.

"So we've hardly had any time to ourselves since you and Edward became betrothed," Esme told Bella as she drove down the quiet road. "I can't begin to express the joy I have over you becoming a part of my family."

"Oh, Esme," Bella voiced, visibly moved by the verbal sentiment. "I feel very blessed to be welcomed into your family…and to be marrying Edward."

"You love him," Esme said with finality.

"I do," Bella reaffirmed.

"I have been a spectator for many Cannabean courtships and marriages, and I must say, they don't always start off with such strong feelings. But, I have been very fortunate to watch all three of my boys find women they are head over heels in love with."

Bella would never tire of hearing how Edward felt about her. Her life was beginning to feel like a comfortable fairytale, where she was very much cherished by her own personal prince.

"Mmmpff."

Thoughts of Prince Charming were interrupted by Esme's obvious discomfort.

"Esme, are you alright?" Bella asked with concern. It was the second time that morning she'd grasped at her abdomen. "Maybe I should call Carlisle."

And again, for the second time that morning, Esme insisted that she was fine. "Carlisle is making rounds in Port Angeles for the next couple days. Anyway, I think I just may have eaten something last night that didn't agree with me. As soon as we get to the church, I'll have a little baking soda in some water and I'll be fine."

Esme didn't utter another word about the issue as she whipped into a parking spot and made her way through the church like a woman on a mission.

The stairway that led into the church basement was narrow and dark. As she descended into the dank and dismal unknown, Bella trailed her fingers along the wall for stability and kept her eyes fixed on Esme's back.

Suddenly the sounds of women laughing and socializing began to fill the atmosphere, and a soft yellow light rebuked the darkness.

"Bella!" A matronly woman with short gray hair greeted with open arms. Bella didn't know the woman personally, but had seen her on many occasions at the Cannabean service in the Cullen's home. "So many people were anxious to meet you. I think this is the largest quilting bee we've ever had in Forks."

There was a slight panic as Bella searched for the politest way possible to let the woman know that she didn't know who she was.

Luckily, Esme rescued her.

"Bev, you did such a great job of putting this together on short notice. I am impressed!" Then to Bella, Esme said, "Bev works in the church office, runs the clothes closet and heads up the prayer chain. She is a Jackie-of-all-trades."

Bev smiled at Esme's introduction. "Well, I can't say that I didn't have a lot of help today. Everyone wanted a better glimpse at the soon-to-be Mrs. Edward Cullen."

_Mrs. Edward Cullen._ Wow. It sounded so real when someone else said it.

While Bev and Esme continued to chat back and for, many of the other ladies present came up to personally greet Bella. No one made any comment about her lack of quilting equipment, nor did anyone ask her what she was working on.

Bella greeting everyone in return, and was slightly amazed that she hadn't been aware of so many young Cannabean women in the community.

"That's because they're not from around here," Esme whispered in response when Bella asked about it after the women had all shared lunch together.

"Where are they from?" Bella questioned as she took a seat next to Esme at a large oak table that seemed to run the length of the room.

Instead of answer, Esme clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. "Ladies, before we get started, I think we should each introduce ourselves and state where we're from. Bella hasn't had the opportunity to meet all of you."

Esme's suggestion was instantly adopted, and a round-robin began immediately. Bella smiled and nodded as sixteen women took a turn telling her their name, where they were from, and how they came to be at the quilting bee. Bella's eyes teared up a little at Esme's explanation of how she came to be a participant at the quilting bee: "Bella came into my son's life and took up residence in every aspect of his heart and mind".

While everyone sighed and ahh'd at Esme's words, Bella realized that every woman had not only told her own name, but also the name of her husband. Bella was the only woman present that wasn't married.

And that's when it clicked.

"You've probably realized by now, Bella, that this isn't about quilting at all," Bev said as she hoisted a box of colored paper onto the table and began going through it. She selected a piece of red cardstock before setting the box back down at her feet. A row of rubber stamps lay to her left and she selected one, inked it, and then placed it down firmly on the paper before she spoke again. "The history of the Cannabean Quilting Bee began in the late nineteenth century when a woman realized that her soon-to-wed daughter had very limited knowledge of what to expect from a man."

"And it's rumored that the woman knew her daughter didn't want to hear about the actions of her own mother and father," began another woman named Clara, "so she gathered the other married women together and explained her plight. The women all agreed to come together and speak of their experiences thus far, and what they'd wished they'd known when they got married."

"At first, it was just a group of women getting together and talking, but as the events grew in size, the women knew they had to disguise the reason for their get-togethers, as it was thought improper for women to speak of their husbands behind their backs," Bev went on. "In those days, everyone quilted. So under the guise of making a wedding gift for the bride, they'd set to work with needle and thread, talking all the while."

"Except the quilts rarely got completed," Esme finished, "which is why the practice of actually making a quilt was abandoned. It was an expensive waste of time. Now women just work on whatever they want, just to keep their hands busy, and to take the focus off the bride so that she doesn't feel like she's in the hot seat."

"But even though the quilting part of the tradition has been abandoned," a woman who'd introduced herself as Celeste croaked (she was quite easily the oldest woman there and looked to be in her late eighties or early nineties), "the secrecy surrounding the practice has not. The Cannabean Quilting Bee is only to be spoken of among married women and what is discussed here remains here."

Bella nodded her understanding. After the four women had said their piece, the fog of misunderstanding was lifted and clarity took its place. Bella now understood why her mother bowed out at the last minute; she understood why no one had explained the events of the day in detail to her until that moment and she understood that she would now have to hear, for all intents and purposes, her mother-in-law speak of intimate things.

Oh the joy.

There was a lull of silence in the room as women cast on knitting needles, itemized scrapbooking supplies, organized recipe cards, sorted through photos and braided yarn. Bella watched with fascination as one woman worked on a landscape with pastels.

"I got married when I was seventeen years old," Celeste stated out of the blue. "I met my husband on Monday, didn't see him again until Thursday and then married him on Saturday. I never thought it would happen, but after six years, I finally fell in love with him. And now, not a day goes by that I don't regret the lost expression of those six years."

By the way the other women nodded, Bella could tell that they'd heard that story before.

"Celeste's husband passed peacefully in his sleep two years ago," Esme explained quietly.

"He's with the Lord now," Celeste reiterated. "Bless him."

A dutiful quiet followed.

"I was the only girl of seven children," a young woman named Mallory spoke up. "And when I got married, it took me a while to figure out that my husband wasn't looking for a competitive opponent. But that's the way I was raised. I learned to compete for _everything:_ the last helping of supper, the best seat at the fair, my parent's attention… So when my husband came along, he did not understand why I made such a big deal of having the last word and why I ate, even when I wasn't hungry. It was a big source of contention for us until we both realized what was going on."

"How'd you two work that out?" Bella asked with interest.

"After many tears and silent bouts, one day my husband simply asked me if I wanted more roast. Then, on our way to church, he asked me if I wanted use of the middle console to rest my arm. His questions took the fight off the table. It seems like such a simple solution, but it took us awhile to get there," Mallory concluded.

"A lesson I learned early on in my marriage," Clara smiled as she spoke, "is that I can not run to my parents every time my husband makes a decision I don't like. It was hard learning that there are many paths on the road to success, not just the one my father used to take."

Bella felt relieved that she already knew this and was hopeful that she would not have to re-learn it early on in her marriage.

Again the room was devoid of speech and Bella noticed several women eyeing Esme, as if prompting her to speak.

"One of the first things I learned when I married Carlisle," a devious grin threatened at Esme's lips, "was that sex isn't something that happens only at night."

"That was news to me, too," Mallory laughed as she stopped the project she was working on. "I always thought I'd go about my daily routine, and my husband would go about his, and then we'd come together in the bedroom right before lights out. Boy was I surprised!"

"Oh they'll take it anytime and anywhere they can get it," Bev chuckled.

"And as many times," another woman chimed in.

That seemed to be all that was necessary to get the conversation flowing loosely. Woman after woman began to chime in about the more delicate natures of their marriage.

"My sister-in-law said she took an aspirin a few hours before her wedding night. I wish someone had told me to do that," Kathryn, the knitter, added.

"I'm quite shy," admitted a subdued Bethany, "so the thought of walking out of the bathroom on our wedding night, stark naked, was a daunting one. My mother told me to wear something that made me feel beautiful so I wore a long, light blue silk gown. My husband still says it's his favorite of everything I own."

"I learned that sex organs aren't the only _sex_ organs," Della gleamed.

"Okay, this is really embarrassing," a woman named Annie who looked like she couldn't have been more than sixteen, but obviously was, began, "but when I married Aaron, I had no idea that people had sex…in different positions. And when he wanted to try something new…I cried because I thought it was a sin!"

When Annie laughed, so did everyone else.

"You'd have been in a constant state of tears at my house," said Bev. "I don't think my husband even knows what the missionary position is."

"Listen girls," Celeste's voice rasped with age and authority, "all you have to remember is cook a good meal, keep a clean house and spread your legs often."

"Oh I could think of a thing or two to add to that," said a woman named Donna who had been surreptitiously quiet up until that moment.

"Such as?" Bev asked.

"Yes, don't hold out on Bella," Clara giggled.

"Well, in addition to opening ones legs, opening ones mouth would be just as much appreciated," Donna concluded.

There were a series of groans that lifted up within the room.

"I cannot do that," Mallory stated firmly. "It makes me gag and I feel like I'm going to throw up for hours afterward."

"So you just don't do it?" Annie asked. "My husband gets really upset if I don't."

"Some people really enjoy it," Esme shrugged.

"Correction, some _men_ really enjoy it," Donna said.

"No correction," Esme said airily. "Some _people, _as in men _and _woman. I know that I happen to enjoy gratifying my husband orally. It really helps him when he's stressed out, and he responds in a way that I rarely get to see through regular intercourse. I find it very sexy and it really turns me on. Plus, he then gives oral in return, and let's just say he is quite gifted at it."

Bella sat staring at the table in stupefied shock. The last thing she wanted to hear about was the sexual escapades of Carlisle and Esme. How was she supposed to look them in the eye knowing the types of things that went on behind closed doors in their bedroom? Now, during Carlisle's Cannabean sermons, when he says 'love your wife as your own body' she was going to get quite a mental picture to go along with those words…

"Bella?"

Bella looked up into Bev's probing eyes.

"Do you have any questions for us, dear?"

Did she have any questions? _Did she have any questions?_ Of course she had questions! For instance, how often should she expect to have sex? And why did Kathryn's sister-in-law need aspirin, or more importantly, why did Kathryn wish she'd taken it? Did it hurt? Badly? For how long? Della, what did you mean sex organs aren't the only sex organs? Huh? And of Annie, Bella wanted to know what kind of sexual position had her in tears. To Donna, Bella would have asked what she gagged on – the girth or the semen? And what does semen taste like, anyway? And to Esme…well, if she wasn't _Esme_, Bella wanted to know how she could ever be comfortable with her husband's face between her legs. And what did he do while down there? Did he lick or suck…did _she_ lick or suck…or both?

But like Bethany, Bella was shy. Much too shy to open up to a room full of strangers, even if they'd once sat in the seat she now occupied.

So for the time being, Bella smiled and shook her head, thanking the women for their insight and openness. But internally, she committed to memory the questions the event had awakened and prayed for a more comfortable opportunity by which to get some answers.


	21. Chapter 20 Sexual Intimacy

_**Sexual Intimacy – **__Within the confines of a Cannabean relationship, it is understood that the man and woman, husband and wife, share their bodies with no other but their spouse. This sanctity is highly regarded, and the art, skill, trust and devotion of marital sex and love are revered above none other. _

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Edward stood staring through the window at the rain-glistening trees that lined his parents' vast backyard. His hands dug deep into his pockets and jostled the coins and keys that resided there.

"How about Wednesday?" Edward asked.

Carlisle shook his head. "I have a pharmaceuticals seminar on Wednesday," he said. "And Thursday I'm on call until Friday night."

"Saturday, then?" Edward suggested.

"Bella has the quilting bee on Saturday." When Carlisle saw the way Edward grimaced, he couldn't keep from laughing. "I can't believe your brother spilled the beans on that and ruined it for you."

"Yeah, and if I remember correctly, Emmett was just as disgusted by it then as I am now. Knowing that Mom is going to be there, talking about…" Edward shivered overtly and didn't finish his sentence.

"Hey, you shouldn't be so against having your mother there," Carlisle said. "She's your protection. Your mother attends to remind everyone that the quilting bee is as much for you as it is for Bella. Without her presence, there's no reason for anyone to adhere to the rule of no man-bashing."

Edward openly scoffed. His dad could put whatever spin he wanted to on that odd Cannabean tradition, but whichever way it was turned, the last thing he wanted to think about was his mother and his girl in a room together talking about sex.

Edward's agitation at that concept was evidence at how far he'd grown in his relationship with Bella. Previously, Edward had thought nothing of the Cannabean practice of having a betrothed couple chaperoned throughout their courtship. He'd wasted no time in stating as much and had been irritated with his father's lack of parallel thinking. However, the more Edward got to know Bella, and the more he'd studied chapter seventeen in his betrothal book, a chapter on sexual intimacy that appeared only in his text and not in Bella's, Edward was less and less inclined to follow the letter of the law so stringently.

But while he knew he no longer wanted his father seated across from them as he and Bella discussed such private details as their views on sex and their individual expectations on what it would be like within their marriage, Edward knew that he needed some parameter in place to ensure that he didn't overstep any boundaries and make Bella uncomfortable.

Problem was, Bella wasn't the only one Edward's intimacy study was bound to make uncomfortable. Carlisle had been resistant to any activity that put him in close proximity to the near-nuptials couple while they discussed mating habits.

Early in the week, a solution presented itself when Edward was looking for his social security card among some old documents in a small room that had once been his father's office. When Carlisle had outgrown the small space, an extensive remodel gave Carlisle use of a large loft, and rendered his old office to a storage room, or a place to escape to if he had to have solitude.

As Edward had been shuffling around in the room, his eyes had fallen upon the old leather sofa, then the large windows that the moon showed through brilliantly at night, and then the door…

"Dad, if you stay in your office and Bella and I stay in the storage room, we'd be separated by the door," Edward had explained.

"Well if you're going behind closed doors anyway, why do you even need me?" Carlisle reasoned. "As long as you give me your word that things won't progress beyond where they should, then I trust you Edward. You don't need me to monitor things."

"I'm not going to go too far," Edward had stated with confidence. "That being said, I think Bella will be more comfortable if she sees you sitting behind your desk as we walk in that room. And knowing that I asked you to be there…I think she'll feel good about that, too."

Carlisle had still looked unconvinced, so Edward had added, "Dad, what room can we go in and close the door that isn't a bedroom, a bathroom or a closet?"

The only other room that provided that type of privacy was in the basement, where they held their Cannabean meetings. Hardly appropriate.

"Okay," Carlisle had nodded, finally seeing Edward's point. "For Bella."

"Yeah, and I don't know what you're so uncomfortable about, Dad. We're just going to be talking," Edward had muttered as he'd turned on his heels and walked away from his dad. He hadn't heard his father quietly retort under his breath, "Yeah, talking... As if I was born yesterday."

Once Edward had felt satisfied that he'd won his father over to his way of thinking regarding acting as a chaperone, all that was left was the actual date and time of when he and Bella would go over their chapter. As soon as Edward felt he and Bella were ready to tackle that topic, Carlisle's schedule went crazy. Suddenly he was covering vacations, attending trainings and seminars – things he hadn't done since his early days as a resident doctor.

Next Monday then?" Edward suggested.

"I'm covering Dr. Wainscott on Monday, but Tuesday looks good."

"Okay, Tuesday it is," Edward said quickly, even though it put his plans out an additional week. Though, truthfully, he hadn't been too concerned about it since an extra week meant he and Bella had the opportunity to revisit the chapter on expectations before they'd delved deeper into relationship material.

Now, satisfied that the matter of "where" he and Bella would hold their next study was settled, Edward headed toward his bedroom to clear his voicemail and call Bella.

"Oh, and Edward," Carlisle stopped Edward on his way out of the living room. "Don't ruin the quilting bee for Bella. Part of the tradition is the actual revelation of what it is."

Edward nodded. "I know," he said. Not that he could tell her even if he wanted to. Just the mere thought of what was going to happen at that quilting bee left him speechless. He knew that if he even tried to warn Bella he'd cause more harm than good. Besides, it would be nice to let Bella have this piece of tradition that was rightfully hers.

Despite that, it was hard keeping a straight face around Bella when the subject of the quilting bee came up. She honestly thought that she was going to sit in a room and quilt with the Cannabean women of the church and the intimidated look on her face when she'd told Edward that she had no idea how to quilt almost did him in. However, he quickly steered the conversation on to another topic, and once they'd started talking about money, Bella was completely distracted.

Edward had always been raised not to speak freely of ones financial means. His parents never discussed their money, nor did they talk about others' finances. Edward had been taught to work hard and spend wisely, and it was something he practiced until that very day. So when he saw the way Bella seemed to be both amazed and discomfited by his bottom line, he had no point of reference for how to handle it.

"How to handle money is something you have to learn," Esme said a few days later when Edward had brought up how uncomfortable Bella had seemed. "Just like being frugal is a skill. And Bella has been raised to be very careful with money. Her mother is the most resourceful woman I've ever met. Did you know you could reuse yarn? I had no idea, but Renee bought a sweater at the secondhand store for fifty cents, washed it, ripped it apart and then made Angel Ackerman's baby a hat, coat and booties out of it. Fifty cents! Isn't that amazing?"

"Yeah, but how much time did she expend in the process?" Edward asked.

Esme shrugged. "It doesn't matter, she had the time and she enjoyed doing it. _And_ Angel's baby got a one-of-a-kind gift. Everytime I give someone a gift, I always worry that someone else bought the same thing…" Esme trailed off as she grimaced in pain.

Edward looked up when his mother abruptly stopped speaking. He saw the expression of discomfort she wore and he quickly moved to her side. "Mom…Mom, what's wrong?"

"N-Noth-" a sharp intake of breath prevented Esme from denying that anything was the matter.

"Do I need to get Dad?" Edward asked quietly.

There was a moment of vacillation before Esme nodded her head.

Carlisle was by his wife's side in under twenty minutes. With the care and gentleness of handling a Faberge egg, Carlisle helped Esme up the stairs and into bed. She was insistent that she didn't need to go to the hospital, and by the way she and Carlisle were silently communicating, Edward could tell that his father knew exactly what was wrong.

"We talked about this Esme," Carlisle whispered. "You promised that if the laproscopy didn't help with the pain you'd go in. You said…"

"It's not that bad, Carlisle. I can handle it. I don't need -," Esme stopped when she noticed Edward standing in the doorway of her bedroom, his face colored in nervousness. "It's alright, Edward. I'm fine, honey."

But the expression on his father's face, coupled with the pallor of his mother's skin, told Edward that his mother was anything but fine.

And two hours later, a rushed visit to the Forks Emergency room confirmed just that.

The first thing Edward did, after watching his parents rush off to the hospital, was sit down at the kitchen counter and call Bella. He wasn't sure what he was expecting her to do – talk to him, maybe; reassure him that he didn't have anything to worry about; tell him that everything was going to be fine.

But she did better than that.

She came to him. Without him having to ask, Bella and her mother hastened to the Cullen residence and sat with Edward until they got word from Carlisle on Esme's condition.

A hysterectomy.

Edward wasn't quite sure what it was, except that his mother was having one and it had something to do with female parts and their removal. And the next day, when Edward went to the hospital to visit his mother, he learned that often women, not unlike Esme, were very opposed to having them.

"I'm a woman without a womb," Esme kept muttering. "I'm a desolate field." And when she wasn't calling herself useless, she'd lapse into long bouts of tears and sobs. Carlisle kept saying it was the medication, but Edward was pretty sure his mother knew what she was saying and meant it.

When Edward returned home from visiting his mother at the hospital, he was surprised to find Rosalie waddling to and fro in the kitchen.

"Your dad called and asked me to make some preparations for your mother. She's coming home tomorrow," Rosalie stated.

"I know," Edward said.

"I'd like to help out more, but…" Rosalie pointed at her swollen belly. "It's getting hard to move around as it is." She looked up at the vast staircase. "I can't even imagine going up and down those all day."

Edward and Rosalie rarely had conversations. Yet here she was, standing in the middle of his parents' kitchen, speaking to him as if it was a common occurrence.

She wanted something.

"So, I forgot to tell you congratulations," she said as if she really had forgotten. "Bella is great. I'm so happy she's joining the family."

It wasn't really a question, so Edward remained silent, not quite knowing how to respond. Then he realized that gratitude was in order.

"Thank you," he said.

"Ya know…lately Bella and I have been getting to know each other pretty well. I really enjoy having lunch with her on the rare dry afternoons we've had," Rosalie offered.

"Over by the swans?" Edward asked. Bella hadn't mentioned that she'd been back to the lake, but Rosalie nodded and confirmed his suspicions.

"The kids love going over there almost as much as Bella does. I hope you don't mind."

"Uh…no. No, it's not a problem," Edward managed to get out.

Rosalie turned to face Edward and leaned against the counter in the process. "That's exactly what Bella said you'd say," Rosalie smiled. "She knows you so well."

Edward might have taken comfort in that statement if he hadn't felt he was being baited for something. And so he remained silent.

"I kind of feel like I should do something for her…" Rosalie proposed, cutting the silence between them. "You know…like a small bridal shower or something."

"I think her mother is going to do that," Edward said. He really had no idea, but it sounded like something a mother would want to do when her daughter was getting married.

"Right," Rosalie nodded so quickly that Edward knew it meant that she had something else entirely in mind. "I was thinking more of a…like…a bachelorette party."

Edward choked on the fruit flavored mineral water he'd sipped right before Rosalie made her request.

"No!" he balked.

"Why?" Rosalie argued.

"What do you mean 'why'? You know why," Edward accused, though he refrained from pointing out that Rosalie had put just a bit too much emphasis on the word _bachelorette._

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "So it's okay to let her have a quilting bee where she hears about sex from the blue-haired variety."

When he wanted to neither confirm nor deny a statement, Edward remained expressionless and silent. It was the exact tactic he employed with Rosalie in that moment, but she saw right through it.

"Esme told me about the quilting bee," Rosalie said. "Poor Bella. And I'm sure you went the traditional route and just sprung it on her with no warning."

"That's part of the tradition, Rosalie," Edward said defensively.

"Tradition nothing," Rosalie huffed. "No girl wants to be blindsided like that, trust me. And anyway, that quilting bee was to your _disadvantage._ Those women make folding laundry sound more desirable."

Edward had forgotten how brash Rosalie could be when no one of importance was around to overhear her. It was one of the things Emmett had most admired about her.

"No," Edward repeated. Even though she was family, Edward didn't want to give Bella any indication that he was as loose with certain values as Rosalie seemed to be.

Rosalie shrugged. "It was just a kind gesture, Edward. She might have things she wants to talk about."

"She can talk to her mother," Edward said.

Rosalie scoffed. "Are you serious? You think she wants to talk to her mother about that? About _you_?"

Edward didn't bother to respond. He had other matters on his mind, though Rosalie had made a good case for springing things on Bella. He decided to deal with that later and moved on to a more pressing matter. First and foremost was the house that had now definitely fallen out of escrow. Admittedly, the situation wasn't as stressful as it could have been, since Bella was in on the secret. But Charlie and Renee would soon find out, and Cannabean law prohibited a wedding before the groom secured a home for his bride, so Edward knew his time was limited.

"I have some work to do before tomorrow morning," Edward said as he crossed the room to make his exit. "But if you need me to cart something upstairs…"

"No, it's okay. I'm almost done anyway," Rosalie stated airily as she folded and unfolded a kitchen towel absent-mindedly.

"Oh…okay. Well…."

"Can you have your dad call me when he brings Esme home tomorrow? I want to make sure she has everything she needs," Rosalie said.

Edward nodded awkwardly before relegating himself to his bedroom for the rest of the evening.

As Edward flipped through the images of the other listings his realtor had sent him, he kept hearing Rosalie's words dance around in his head:

_"…the kids love going over there almost as much as Bella does…"_

A picture of an empty lot was displayed in the webpage sidebar of one of the property listings and Edward simply stared at it. His land was by far superior…

Edward shook the thought from his head. There was just no way he could even consider building. It was a much too complicated and time-consuming project to undertake at this juncture.

At least that's what his head told him. His heart pointed to Bella, and to what his soon-to-be-wife was most likely hoping for.

"My wife…" Edward tried out the words aloud to himself and smiled when the sound reached his ears. "My _wife._"

That thought caused Edward to pull his phone out of his pocket and dial the number that he'd placed in the number one location on his phone.

"Is everything okay? How's your mother?" Bella asked when she answered the phone.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I was just sitting here thinking about you and I thought I'd give you a call," Edward said.

"I was thinking about you, too," Bella said sweetly. She paused for a moment before continuing. "My mother said Esme is coming home tomorrow. Did you want to postpone our study-"

"No," Edward said before she could even finish getting the sentence out. "No, I don't want to postpone anything, and my mother probably wouldn't want that either."

"Oh…okay," Bella agreed.

"Sorry, I just, kind of felt like we'd lost our momentum when we revisited that chapter on expectations and I was kind of hoping to stay as close to our course as possible," Edward recovered.

"That makes sense. And I actually really enjoyed reading over the explanation of the wedding vows. Didn't you think the way they were broken down made them seem so eloquent? Or…did you not want to talk about it until tomorrow?" Bella asked.

"Actually…that's not the chapter we're on. The vows are chapter eighteen, I believe."

"Right."

"We're on chapter seventeen."

"Oh, I think my book has a typo. It skips from chapter sixteen straight to chapter eighteen. There is no chapter seventeen."

"Yeah, that's not a typo," Edward said as he held his book in one hand, his finger holding his spot at the beginning of the chapter. "Chapter seventeen exists in only my book," he added.

"Why is that?" Bella's confusion was clearly communicated.

"I'm not exactly sure," Edward stated slowly. "I think it has something to do with the way we're supposed to discuss the topic. An I'll lead, you follow type of thing."

"Oh…So, what's the topic?" Bella asked innocently.

Ever since he'd discovered that chapter seventeen was only present in his book, Edward had wondered if the entire idea: the topic, the chapter and the expected discussion, was some sort of test; an examination to see if he was ready to be a leader in his marriage and his home. Because surely a man who couldn't talk about sex without his insides turning into a cascade of jelly was not a man ready for the serious commitment a physical relationship would bring. So Edward had resolved, right then and there, that he was not going to cower at the mention of sex. He would be strong and authoritative and serious. His voice would display his mature and confident demeanor as he solidly stated:

"Um…it's…um…the chapter…is on…intimacy." Edward's voice cracked and squeaked on the last word.

"What?" Bella sounded startled, as if she hadn't heard him correctly.

**Sexual Intimacy**. Edward looked down at the boldly printed heading as if he expected it to reiterate itself to Bella.

"Hey, at least it's not a quilting bee," Edward chuckled nervously.

Bella gasped on the other end of the phone line. "You knew about that?"

_Oops._

"Uh…um…well…"

"You _knew_ and you didn't warn me?" Bella's voice elevated an octave to express her disgruntlement.

If Bella could have seen Edward's expression, she would have seen a man dazed with concern, like a deer caught in a pair of high beam headlights.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you," he rushed, defending himself quietly.

"Why not?" Bella asked. "I thought you were supposed to be on my side…in my corner and all that."

"I am."

"Edward, do you have any idea how _awkward_ and embarrassing it was to sit there and listen to those women…women I don't even know, talk about…_that_?"

"Do _you_ have any idea how awkward and embarrassing it was for me to know that you were going to be sitting there listening to my _mother?"_

Edward and Bella continued their argument via a silent stand-off.

And then they burst into a fit of laughter.

"I'm sorry," Edward said as his chuckles settled down. "I just didn't want to ruin any of your pre-wedding traditions, or whatever. And the only reason I even knew about the quilting bee was because Rosalie told Emmett when she went through it, and in turn, Emmett told me. Needless to say, my parents weren't pleased and my dad warned me not to spoil it for you."

"Well, for the record, the next time I'm going to be ambushed by a bunch of women that I don't know on a personal and private topic, feel free to give me a little hint," Bella said with mock irritation. "And that goes for secret chapters in your book, too."

Edward looked over at the book and sighed. "I was so busy worrying about how we'd go about discussing this chapter, that it honestly didn't ever dawn on me to tell you about it ahead of time. Sorry about that."

"I suppose I can let you off the hook. Since technically you did tell me about it before tomorrow night."

"That's true," Edward said, anxious to plead his own case.

"But I might still need a little persuading," Bella hinted.

"Is that…bribery I detect?" Edward asked, enjoying the ease and lightness of their conversation.

"Maybe."

"Well state your price."

Bella laughed. "It's not that lofty. I just want to know what we're going to be discussing tomorrow. I've had all the surprises I can handle on _that topic._"

Even though Edward had all but memorized the seventeenth chapter of his betrothal book, he still flipped through the chapter as he summarized its content.

"Health, male and female anatomy, preferences, expectations and…well basically that's it." Edward decided against describing the graphic chart of sexual positions that concluded the chapter.

"I guess that doesn't sound so daunting. When you said you were worried, I got worried, too."

"I was more worried about how to start the discussion…if it would be awkward…that type of thing."

"Well…it would probably be less awkward over the phone…" Bella hinted.

Edward hesitated. "You mean now? You want to do it now?"

"If you wanted," Bella stammered. "It was only a suggestion. We don't have to. I just thought that maybe –"

"No, yeah…we can do it now."

Edward looked over the first heading. It spoke of hygiene and personal care. Suddenly being on opposite ends of the phone line didn't seem like much of a shield.

"C-Can I just read this to you?" Edward asked nervously.

"Okay," Bella agreed.

For the next four minutes, Edward read Bella the section of the chapter that discussed the importance of regular bathing in order to remain palatable to one's mate. It detailed grooming methods, such as shaving, that one might have a preference for. It listed certain foods that might cause adverse odors and it referred to a woman's menstrual cycle as a time to abstain from all sexual activity.

"How long is yours?" Edward asked uncomfortably. "Your monthly…time."

"It's about a week," Bella answered, equally uncomfortable.

"Always?" Edward asked.

"Pretty much."

"Oh…I just wondered. I'd heard that it can be shorter…like two or three days or something."

"Hmm…I guess. I've never heard of it being that short, but I guess anything is possible," Bella stated, matter of fact.

"Is it…uh…is it that time…now?"

"No." Bella added no more commentary on the matter.

"Do you want to ask me anything?" Edward asked, successfully breaking the awkward silence.

Bella seemed to contemplate for a moment before asking, "Do you have hair on your chest?"

"Yeah, a little. Why? Do you?"

"No!" Bella stuttered and stammered a moment until she realized that Edward was only joking with her. They shared a laugh together before moving on to the next section, which outlined the differences of the male and female anatomy.

Edward felt feverish as he gave voice to the written words, rushing over the description of the folds of the vagina and the clinical terms for the parts of the penis.

"I feel like I'm in the seventh grade all over again," Edward mused. "Health class."

"You talked about this in your seventh grade health class?" Bella asked.

"Yeah. Didn't you?"

"No," Bella answered. "It might have been taught, but I always went to the library when they had Sex Ed. My dad refused to sign the permission slip."

"Oh…but you know some stuff, right?"

"Well…I _have _had my quilting bee." Bella's accompanying laugh sounded melodic. "But yeah, I mean, of course. I took health and science classes in college. I know the basic mechanics. I just don't know…you know…practical application. Thank goodness I'm not alone in that."

Edward mulled over her words for a moment. It took him a few seconds to realize that she was addressing their mutual virginity. "Why do you say that?" he asked.

"It's less embarrassing knowing you aren't holding me to some standard of performance," Bella explained.

Edward frowned. "You make it sound like I'm going to be rating you or something."

"No, of course not," Bella dissuaded the thought. "I just meant that it's nice being on the same page…experience wise."

Edward was silent. Technically, he was more experienced than she…hadn't he told her as much? Hadn't he told her of the time when he didn't walk in strict accordance with Cannabean law?

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but I may have learned a thing or two in an unchaperoned game of doctor with Ursula Bracie when I was seven years old," Edward quipped.

"Aw, man. You've got me beat by a long shot," Bella played along.

When the banter grew slack, Edward moved on to the next heading and began to read. At the end of each section, they where instructed to ask one another a question, and Edward readily suggested Bella go first. But when she spoke up, she utilized her one query to find out if Edward had any aversions or allergies to any particular soaps or scents. She qualified her question by further asking if said allergy had ever caused a skin rash, but Edward could tell that she was playing it safe by trying to avoid being the one to delve into any questions of a sexual nature.

So Edward broke the ice.

"Bella, have you ever seen a penis?"

"Uhh…" she hemmed for a moment. "I have… In theory."

"In theory. What does that mean?"

"You know, in textbooks and …stuff," Bella qualified.

"Huh," Was all Edward returned.

"Have you? Seen a naked woman, I mean."

"Well, besides the multitude of medical journals my dad always had lying around the house, I've also seen a live birth…a natural one."

"You're kidding!" Bella seemed intrigued, and a little unnerved.

Distracted, Bella requested a play-by-play of Edward's viewpoint and experience of the birth he'd experienced. Afterward, they both noted the late hour and knew that they would have to say goodnight.

As Edward amorously wished Bella restful sleep and peaceful dreams, he wondered if Bella understood that while they'd discussed and theorized on the chapter, there was an element of practicable application that had gone unheeded.

But just as he said his final farewell and expressed his anticipation of seeing Bella the following evening, her response hinted that she was well aware of what was coming.

"I'll be there," she said. "Surprisingly unsurprised."

And when she arrived upon the Cullen's doorstep at approximately five o'clock, bearing a meal and wearing that sundress with the little knitted jacket that accentuated her breasts, Edward _knew_ that she knew that there was more to the evening than mere talk.

"How is Esme?" Bella asked as she crossed the threshold and entered the house.

"She's good. Her medication has had her out most of the day. But she's supposed to get lots of rest, so that's a good thing," Edward answered. His eyes couldn't help washing over Bella's body as he spoke.

"My mother mentioned that she isn't able to do much for six weeks. If you want, I can come over and help out while you and your father are at work," Bella offered.

"She'd like that," Edward smiled. And he would, too. The thought of seeing Bella each afternoon when he returned from work was a nice one.

Carlisle decided to have dinner upstairs, at Esme's bedside, leaving Edward and Bella alone in the dining room. He tried to make small talk as they ate, but his mind was focused elsewhere; on a room overhead with its overstuffed couch.

Though it lasted only a half-hour, dinner seemed to go on forever. Finally, it was clear that the meal had ended, and when Bella collected the dishes and walked them to the kitchen, Edward followed after her, only to coax her to leave the dishes in the sink and follow him up the stairs.

When they reached the landing at the top of the staircase, Edward could see that his father's office was already illuminated and a soft strain of music flowed down the hall.

Only hours earlier, Edward had prided himself on his thorough retention of the seventeenth chapter, but now, as he led Bella down the hall, her hand in his, the only thing he could remember was the very vivid images of the numerous sexual positions displayed on one page. His breathing hitched as a vision of a maple-haired beauty on her knees before him filtered through his mind. Edward attempted to shake the picture from memory as he softly pushed open the door to his father's office.

"Hello, Bella," Carlisle greeted her warmly. Edward was sure the nervous edge to his father's tone went undetected by Bella, but Edward had recognized it. It matched the anxiety coursing through his own veins.

"Hello," Bella smiled. She seemed surprised to see Carlisle there, but stalled near his desk to make small talk until Edward placed his palm low on her back to gently guide her toward the small adjacent room.

Once they were inside, Edward closed the door, but didn't latch it shut. He let the light momentarily fill the room before flicking the switch. Instead of darkness, the room was consumed with luminance from the moon and stars.

"Oh Edward, it's so beautiful," Bella said as she looked up at the multitude of stars that shown through the windows. "It's so bright."

"I could say the same of my company," Edward murmured as he moved to stand behind her and wrap his arms around her waist. Bella leaned against him, her back to his chest, and rested her head against his shoulder, her hands atop his.

They remained this way, content in the silence, until Edward looked down and noticed that Bella had her eyes closed. He leaned over and kissed her tentatively on the lips.

She didn't hesitate to return it.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too." She tilted her face to him and he once again captured her mouth in a kiss.

In the distance, the music played on as two pairs of lips repeatedly came together; two pairs of eyes shut out visual stimulation and heightened the feel of twenty stroking fingers and the sound of two thrumming heartbeats.

Slowly, Edward's fingertips traveled from Bella's wrists, up her forearms, past her elbows and up to her shoulders, only to descend back down again. The slower his fingers moved, the faster Bella seemed to melt into him – her sighs and murmurs disappearing into the hollows of his mouth, opened wide against hers.

He licked her bottom lip as two fingers trailed the outline of the vein on her arm. Once he reached her elbow, Edward moved his fingers to run along the crevice formed by her arms resting against her body. In a slow and steady ascension, his hands glided up the side of her torso, over her rib cage, and against the swell of her breast.

This time, Bella didn't stiffen.

Instead, she shivered avidly and intensified the kiss as she lifted her hand to cradle the back of Edward's head.

Propelled by Bella's acquiescence, Edward moved three fingers to run along the contour of Bella's breasts – then four. He brought his thumb over and around and down, across the peaks of her nipples, slightly pinching the firming flesh.

"Edward…" Bella quietly moaned.

Edward's hands began to move faster than his mind; he spun Bella around to face him and began clawing at the knot in the knitted shrug she wore. He managed to free it without too much damage to the frail garment, but as he began to push it down her shoulders and reach for the zipper on her dress, Bella backed up and cast a glance over his shoulder, at the door.

"He won't come in here," Edward panted, knowing that she was apprehensive about having his father just on the other side of the door.

"How do you know?" she whispered.

"Because I asked him not to," Edward whispered back. He dropped his hands to hers and walked backward as he led her over to the awaiting leather sofa.

"There's no reason for him to come in here," Edward went on, his voice low and deep. "We're not doing anything we're not supposed to, and I'd never ask you to do that…I'd never compromise you in that way, Bella," Edward placed a kiss on Bella's bare shoulder as he persuaded her down on the couch beside him. "Trust me."

"I do trust you, Edward," Bella said. Though her subdued tone matched his, there was an urgency to her words.

The leather sofa creaked as Edward positioned his body nearer to Bella. He moved one arm around her waist and rested his hand on her hip as they re-engaged themselves in fervent, passion-riddled kisses.

Edward's hands began to travel once more, this time along the smooth expanse of Bella's freshly shaven leg. But this time, Bella began to mimic his movements, and when his hand slid behind her knee and up toward her thigh, she mirrored the exploration by lightly placing her hand just above his knee on his thigh.

Boldly, Edward placed his hand on top of Bella's and guided it higher. There he held it, absent-mindedly trailing circles against the back of her hand, until he felt her fingers crawl a bit higher, signaling that she was ready to explore more.

Their lips faltered against one another's as Edward inched Bella's hand closer to his crotch. Though her wavering was most likely due to nervousness, Edward was overcome by desire, longing and the feeling of being touched by a hand other than his own.

He couldn't ever remember being so hard in his life. It was borderline painful.

"Mmmm," Edward let out a strangled cry when Bella's hand finally reached its intended destination. He felt as if he would unravel as Bella stroked along the definition straining against his pants with painstakingly deliberate sluggishness.

In an effort to take his mind off what Bella was doing, and ward off the imminent effect of her actions, Edward resumed his own ministrations, along Bella's legs.

"You're so soft," he crooned as he nuzzled his nose against the concave of her neck.

Bella remained quiet, fixated on the task at hand. She elicited another unsolicited outburst from Edward when she unknowingly slid her fingernail along the underside of the head of his penis.

"_Uuugh_…that feels good," he exhaled as he showered her neck with kisses.

But things were beginning to get extremely tight…uncomfortably tight, in the confines of his underwear and pants, and no matter which way he shifted, Edward couldn't find the relief.

"Bella?" Edward's whisper came out sounding like a plea.

She immediately withdrew her hand, as if she'd done something wrong. "I'm sorry. What happened?"

Edward shook his head. "Nothing's wrong…trust me. You're doing _everything_ right," he assured her.

Ineptly, Edward managed to undo the button and zipper with one hand, and sighed in reprieve when the prison of his pants no longer constricted him. Without making a grand show of awareness he paused long enough for Bella to get an unencumbered view of what lay underneath his clothing.

And when he was sure she'd had an appropriate amount of time to get an eyeful, he returned her hand to his groin and taught her how to touch him – and she didn't object in the least.

"Oh, yeah, baby, just like that," he breathed against her earlobe right before sucking the tip of it between his lips. Encouraged by his words, Bella began to assert her own movements, without the aid of Edward's guide, freeing his hands to discover what was hidden from him underneath his now favorite dress.

The smooth, supple feeling of Bella's leg was imitated all the way up as Edward skimmed his hand along her thigh. His fingers came to rest on the edge of her underwear and he investigated the feel of the material while he paused to give Bella the opportunity to thwart any further advancement.

She made no objections.

Expertly, Edward slipped his hand over the waistband of Bella's panties and prompted her to lift her hips so that he could slide them down. His finger accidentally caught in the soft silky curls covering her sex, and Edward felt her jolt in response.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"It's okay," Bella insisted with anticipation.

It was his intention to move slowly with Bella; to express his care and love through careful and gentle touch.

But what she was doing to him… The way her hand probed and searched. And then, when she ran her thumb around the edge of the head of his penis, Edward thought he was going to explode.

Frantically Edward raked his hands between Bella's legs. With a single finger, he sought out the hub of pleasure, the center of nerves that would make her feel as good as she was making him feel.

When he felt how wet she was, how she responded to him with her arousal, Edward increased the motion of his finger as it flickered across her clitoris. A shaky sigh fell from Bella's lips and she tightened her grip on his member.

A throaty groan emerged from Edward as he fought against the orgasm that both intimidated and thrilled him. But before he could go any further, before he could plunge his fingers inside of her delicate shell and feel the smoothness engulf him, Bella stopped.

"Edward, is everything okay? You're…leaking or something," she said as she stilled her hand.

"It's fine," Edward said, his voice hoarse from the ardor.

"Is it… Did you…" Bella supposed.

"Not yet, " Edward said, reading into her unspoken meaning.

"We'd better stop," she said, her words accentuated by breathlessness. "There's no barrier between us and I wouldn't want anything to happen."

Pregnancy. It was the concern of every good little church girl. Despite his knowledge of what it would take for Bella to _actually_ get pregnant, Edward didn't press her on the matter. He knew from experience that it had been drilled into Cannabean girls their entire life that guys would say just about anything to get into their pants. So instead of sounding like a hormone-induced, sex-crazed teenager, Edward relented without words. He leaned down and rested his head against Bella's shoulder while he waited for his breathing, and his body, to return to normal.

"I think I'm back to feeling like we're not on level playing fields," she giggled in the darkness as she lovingly stroked the tresses behind his ear.

"Why do you say that?" Edward asked, still basking in the glow of the earlier sensations.

"Because I don't know what I'm doing and you definitely do," Bella said, her fingers looping behind his ear.

"Who says you don't know what you're doing? Trust me when I say that you do," Edward smiled up at her.

Bella exhaled in disbelief. "But you had to show me what to do. I didn't have to show you anything. You just knew," she told him. "Are you sure you've never done this before?"

Edward's first mistake was that he considered his answer too long before he replied. His evasiveness alerted Bella to the fact that there was actually something he was avoiding to acknowledge.

"You're the only woman I've ever been this intimate with, Bella," Edward said.

"_This_ intimate, or intimate, period?" Bella questioned. She moved back so that she'd be able to see Edward's eyes as he spoke.

And then Edward made his second mistake. He looked down at the floor, hesitating only for a brief moment, but it was long enough for Bella to jump to the wrong conclusion.

"Alice?" she asked.

"No!" Edward said immediately. "Bella, I told you, Alice and I have never been that way with each other."

"You also told me that you were a virgin," Bella whispered flatly, careful to keep her tone low so that Carlisle wouldn't overhear.

"I _am_ a virgin," Edward said.

"But you've been _intimate_ with other women?" Bella pressed, using Edward's wording.

The euphoria of the evening quickly began to wear off and Edward closed his eyes as he exhaled in frustration.

"Bella, it was a long time ago. I was only-"

"Edward!" Bella gasped and suddenly stood up. She fumbled with the bodice of her dress as she hastened to make herself decent. "You _have_ been with someone else…or maybe more than one. How many?"

"You're overreacting. It was nothing."

"Nothing?" Bella looked at him through wide watery eyes. "Is that what you're going to say about me when you decide that I'm no better than the ones before me? That I'm not good enough for you?"

"That's enough!" Edward said harshly as he attempted to stand up, but the way his pants were twisted at his hips prevented him from moving swiftly. He was much too slow for Bella, who had managed to zip up her dress and was halfway to having her shrug up on her shoulders when she made a break for the door. Before she walked through it, she turned and faced Edward and he could see the angry tears streaming down her face.

"Now I see why you're always asking me if I trust you," Bella said, leveling him with a glance. "It's because you know the truth – that you, Edward Cullen, are untrustworthy!"

Bella threw open the door and raced through it as Edward struggled to right his garments and get out after her. But by the time he made it out of the small room, his father was standing in the middle of the room, having gotten up so quickly that he'd turned over his large leather executive chair in the process.

"Edward! What did you do?" Carlisle asked sternly.

"I didn't do anything!" Edward insisted. "It's just a misunderstanding."

Carlisle gestured below Edward's waist, and when Edward looked down, he noticed that his zipper was open. He quickly rectified the situation. "It's not what you think," he quickly told his father.

"You gave me your word," Carlisle demanded, looking Edward over skeptically.

"You can't possibly think I'd go through all the trouble to have you here tonight if I had any intention of dishonoring Bella in that way," Edward reasoned, torn between going after Bella and explaining to his father what the problem was. "I have to get out there. She needs to hear me out before she goes home," Edward decided.

"No," Carlisle said as he placed his hand on Edward's arm to steady him. "She was pretty upset when she ran out of here. I think you need to give her some time to calm down. And in the meantime, you can fill me in on exactly what _did_ happen."

"You don't understand, Dad. She thinks I've…been with another woman," Edward stressed. "If she tells Charlie that…"

"If she tells Charlie that, he'll come to you to get your side of the story and you can explain yourself then," Carlisle said calmly.

"Dad, I can't. I can't risk…" Edward stopped and looked at the door that led out of the office – out toward Bella.

"You're not going to lose her, Edward. I saw the look on her face when she ran out of here. She's more hurt than angry."

"You don't know that, Dad," Edward argued.

"I know that you're not going to get anywhere with her right now. If you run after her and try to force her to see your side of things, she's not going to hear you. She needs to calm down." Carlisle came up and put his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Trust me. I've been married a long time."

Well, Edward couldn't argue with that, but just sitting idly by and doing nothing wasn't exactly his style.

"But, Edward," Carlisle said as he gripped Edward's shoulder. "Is there any validity to her claim?"

"No!" Edward bellowed. "Not really," he added, dropping his tone. "I…hung out with a girl when I was fifteen or sixteen…anyway, it bothered Bella. She's upset because she thinks I should have told her about it. I mean, come on, it was almost ten years ago!"

"What girl is this?" Carlisle frowned.

Edward shook his head and waved off the question. "I don't even remember. There wasn't anything serious between us, and what we did have didn't even last two weeks."

It wasn't a _complete_ fabrication. Her name had been Catherine, but the "relationship" had lasted only twelve days, two days shy of a full two weeks. Yet the fact that he did remember her name seemed like a betrayal, even to him, and therefore he didn't even want to speak it.

Edward walked to the window in the office that overlooked the front of the house. He was hopeful that he would see Bella's car in the driveway, waiting for him to come to her and put an end to this ridiculous fight, but there was no such luck. The vast driveway was empty; Edward was alone.

Though he knew his father felt right in his convictions, Edward also knew he couldn't rest until he at least attempted to smooth things out with Bella. He went into his bedroom, locked the door and then dialed her phone number feverishly.

It went straight to voicemail, meaning she'd turned if off. She didn't want to talk.

"This is ridiculous," Edward muttered to himself. How could Bella possibly be upset with him over indiscretions from his youth? Did she expect him to tell her every little thing? Was he to disclose the time he stole gum from the gas station mini mart when he was six? Or the time he accidentally swatted a fly into Mrs. Ellis' coffee and didn't say a word when she'd drank it down? How about the time he'd changed his math quiz grade in Mr. Trotter's seventh grade Algebra class?

Desperate to understand Bella's way of thinking, Edward raced to consider whom he could confide in for counsel. Normally, he'd ask his mother about something like this, but her recent surgery, and constant supply of pain medication, had put her out of commission. And for obvious reasons, Bella's mother would be of no assistance.

His mind put up its own mental block where Alice was concerned; she wasn't even on his radar. That only left Rosalie, and her recent revelation regarding her blossoming relationship with her soon-to-be-sister-in-law.

_But was Edward desperate enough for that?_

"Hello?"

"Uh…Emmett?"

"Yeah?"

"This is Edward…h-how are you?"

"How am I?" Emmett echoed. "Is this about Ma? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing like that," Edward worked to quickly put his brother's mind at ease. "Actually, I was calling because of Rosalie."

"Rosalie?"

"Yeah," Edward stalled. "She was over at the house the other day and she mentioned wanting to do something for Bella. I had a chance to think it over, and I wanted to talk to her about a few things."

The first of which being an apology for his hypocritical and judgmental behavior; because when he looked at himself through Bella's moral compass, Edward could clearly see that between he and Rosalie, there was no difference.

* * *

**The one-week menstrual cycle is in reference to something else. I know that in reality a lot of women have much shorter cycles.**

**Hmm…Bella seemed a lot freer when she met up with Edward for their "practicable application"…what brought **_**that**_** on?**


	22. The Emotional Depth of Physical Love, P1

_**The Emotional Depth of Physical Love, Pt.1. **__The initial period of exploration and discovery in regards to physical love brings with it as many emotional challenges as physical challenges. A prominent challenge is the different emphasis a man and a woman place on a physical relationship - with a man focusing largely on physical feelings while a woman mainly focuses on emotional feelings…_

* * *

Bella stalked through her front door and headed straight for the living room. She heard her parents' voices intermingled with the sound of paper crinkling and pages turning, and found them with the evening newspaper.

"Hey there," Charlie smiled when he spotted Bella as she entered the room.

Bella took in the basket of clothes that sat underneath the ironing board on the sun porch, still in need of pressing. She glanced over at the wool socks her mother had been knitting for the pastor's wife, still unfinished. And though the kitchen was clean, it didn't sparkle like it usually did when it had been deep cleaned.

"Busy, huh?" Bella asked her mother indignantly.

"I'm sorry?" Renee looked over at her innocently.

"Why did you do that to me, Mom? Why didn't you tell me?" Bella asked inconspicuously.

Charlie looked between his wife and daughter and put the paper down. "What's going on? What happened?"

Bella raised an eyebrow at her mother, convinced that while her mother was well aware of where she'd been all afternoon, her father didn't have a clue.

"I think Bella just had a long day with the Cullens," Renee said nonchalantly. "Isn't that right, dear?"

Bella sighed and rolled her eyes, but instead of answer, she turned on her heels and walked out.

"Hey!" Charlie called. "Your mother asked you a question!"

"Oh let her go," Bella heard Renee state. "I'm sure that's just exhaustion talking."

_Exhaustion nothing._ It was pure, unadulterated humiliation talking! Of all the things Bella could think of that were _not_ helpful to her nerves in the midst of monumental, life-altering changes, it was a Cannabean Quilting Bee.

Bella fled to the solitude of her bedroom, where she was finally able to let the events of the day run freely through her mind. Though the quilting bee was a tradition she felt she could have done without, it _was_ tradition, and she knew her mother and Esme felt they needed to do their due diligence in preparing her for marriage.

Still, her petulance on the issue had more to do with not having the option to opt out of the practice, and not the weariness her mother had hinted at.

Despite that, Bella was asleep in less than an hour, and she slept deep throughout the night and barely woke in enough time to be ready when Edward came to retrieve her for church the next morning.

When Bella slid past Edward's parents to take her seat between Edward and his mother, she noticed that Esme did not display the usual brightness that accompanied her smile. Instead of sitting up tall and stately, greeting and waving to all those around her, Esme leaned into her husband's side as if she were trying to shrink down out of sight.

"Esme?" Bella touched her on the shoulder.

"I'm fine, sweetheart," Esme said, knowing what Bella was going to ask. Of course, this solidified in Bella's mind that Esme was _not_ okay, and when Edward called her later that night after the Cannabean service, stating that his father had taken his mother into the emergency room, Bella had not been surprised.

What she had been shocked by was the way Edward had relied upon her in his time of need, without giving it a second thought. When Bella rushed to his side, accompanied by her mother to ward against the appearance of a pre-matrimonial sleepover, Edward had found solace in her arms and allowed her to comfort and care for him well into dawn.

'*'

It had been a shock and a relief to hear that Esme had to have a hysterectomy. At first, Edward freaked out. He didn't quite understand what it was and Carlisle hadn't had the time to spend on the phone explaining it to him. Bella had a loose understanding of what it was, but when she tried to tell him, he ended up with more questions than she had answers for.

Finally Renee, who seemed to take the news of Esme's hysterectomy almost as badly as Edward, stepped in to offer comforting words.

"We are very fortunate that a hysterectomy will solve Esme's issues," Renee said quietly from the chair in the corner of the sitting room. "It's a very common procedure for women our age, Edward."

"But what does it mean?" Edward wanted to know.

"Mostly it means your mother won't be having any more children," Renee stated factually.

"Oh," Edward relaxed. "Well, she wasn't planning on doing that anyway," he said, brightening up a little.

"True," Renee nodded sadly, "but it's still nice to have the option."

Even though she didn't say more about it, Bella could tell that her mother was distressed for Esme. And as soon as Edward seemed fine, and she and her mother were alone in the car on their way home, Bella asked her about it.

"It's going to be really hard for Esme," Renee deflected. "It's like having something taken from you that every other woman has. I don't know….your female parts…they time your body, and try as they might, modern medicine just can't replicate what God put in place. She's going to go through such a tussle trying to adjust."

"But isn't that the problem?" Bella reasoned. "Her body wasn't working right, so she had to have the surgery."

"I know…" Renee trailed off. "I didn't want to discuss this in front of Edward, because it's none of his business, but now that her hormones are going to be in a tailspin for a while, she's going to grow hair in places she shouldn't, have hot flashes –"

"She had those already," Bella smiled to herself, remembering the way Esme had worked the air conditioner to full blast at sporadic intervals on the way to and from the quilting bee.

"Yes, well…it's still quite a change to acclimate to before one is ready," Renee finalized her point.

"Hmm," Bella nodded. Her mind had already moved on to the next evening when she and Edward would get together to talk about the next chapter in the Betrothal Book: wedding vows. She was awestruck at how much she yearned to see him again. It hadn't even been ten minutes, but she missed him already.

"Esme is going to need a lot of help over the next month or so," Renee suddenly stated out loud.

"Huh?" Bella hadn't been paying attention. "Oh, yes. She probably will."

"When Grandma had her hysterectomy, she couldn't even bend over and put on her shoes. Of course she was quite a bit older than Esme, but still. The doctor said she wasn't supposed to lift or carry anything for six weeks. And what if she needs help in the bathroom," Renee looked over at Bella. "Carlisle has to work and she certainly can't ask Edward to do it."

"That's true," Bella said, wondering where her mother was going with this tangent.

"You might want to volunteer your assistance, Bella," Renee said.

"Of course," Bella nodded quickly. "Esme knows I'd help her in anyway I can."

"She's going to need someone to stay with her Bella. I think Daddy should talk to Carlisle about having you stay with them – at least during the day and on the evenings when Carlisle stays over at the hospital."

Bella's mind immediately wandered to Edward, and what it would be like to sleep under the same roof. Quickly, she internally reprimanded herself for thinking that way when her mother's only intention was to provide assistance for an ailing Esme.

Renee mistook Bella's silence for hesitation, and she continued to offer reasons why she thought Bella was the perfect candidate to help nurse Esme back to health.

"Both Alice and Rosalie have husbands and families to attend to, not to mention the fact that Rosalie is uncomfortably pregnant at the moment. Besides, it'll give you and Esme a great chance to bond before you and Edward get married."

Bella nodded throughout Renee's speech, showing her agreement on the issue. "I don't think Edward will have a problem with it…do you?" Bella hinted at what she was thinking.

"Honestly, I think Edward will be relieved that he won't have to do certain duties. There are just certain things a man should never see regarding his mother."

Bella scrunched up her nose. "And just what are you expecting me to see?" she wanted to know. _What was she agreeing to?_

"Well, she'll need help getting to the bathroom…that sort of thing," Renee answered.

"Oh…well if she doesn't mind having me around, I'll gladly stay with her for as long as she needs."

Bella wasn't sure when her mother actually spoke to her father about staying with the Cullens, but later that morning, or afternoon rather – Bella slept in due to being up so late, Renee informed her that Charlie was agreeable to her staying nights at the Cullen household whenever Carlisle was away.

"I believe Carlisle is bringing Esme home from the hospital tomorrow," Renee prompted from her place at the small table when Bella walked into the kitchen.

"Hmm," Bella mused. "I was supposed to spend the evening with Edward, but things may have changed now. I'll probably just drop off dinner and come back home. I don't want to be in the way."

Bella decided she'd wait to talk to Edward before making her final decision, and therefore didn't wait for her mother to weigh in on what she thought she should do. And it's a good thing she didn't, for Renee had already moved on to ideas about Bella and Edward's upcoming wedding.

"Bella, you never said what colors you wanted to decorate with. I think yellow would be beautiful," Renee said as she looked over a swatch of yellow ribbon.

"Edward and I still need to talk about that," Bella avoided. She wasn't fond enough of yellow to use it as a wedding color.

"Bella," Renee laughed. "Edward doesn't want to be bothered with those kinds of details. He's a man. He has no ideas or concerns about flowers, colors or anything that comes before the wedding night."

Bella turned and cast her mother a direct glare. "Careful. You're still on thin ice for that quilting bee stunt you pulled."

Renee gaily waved away Bella's comment. "Don't hold grudges, dear. It doesn't suit you."

"Yeah, well neither does being hoodwinked and whisked off to the church basement where a bunch of strangers take turns telling me things I could find out in one issue of Cosmopolitan magazine."

"Bella, you should not be reading those filthy magazines," Renee looked up from the swatches of ribbon.

"I'm not, but it only takes one trip to the grocery store to know what's in them."

Renee shrugged. "And you're completely missing the point of the quilting bee. Aside from the fact that it is tradition, it was meant to both pass down important information while at the same time dispel myths and misconceptions regarding sex."

Bella hated the way the word 'sex' immediately caused her face to color, but it was a reaction she couldn't control, try as she might.

"I can't, for the life of me, figure out what that important information was," Bella said right before hiding her discomfort behind a glass as she took a sip of water.

"Not even the importance of explaining your monthly cycle to your husband?"

Bella spit out the water she'd just swallowed. "What? Why would I need to _explain_ that?"

Renee frowned as she realized what Bella thought she'd meant. "Well, not explain in a technical sense," she said. "But that…well…when asked, you should always respond that your monthly period lasts a full week; seven days."

Now it was Bella's turn to frown. "But mine only lasts about four days. I'd be lying if I said that-"

Renee held up her hand to silence Bella. "It lasts four days without the introduction of sexual intercourse. But it's been said that if you have sex too soon after your period ends, then it can sometimes restart and last for an additional week. So…just to be safe, seven days."

Bella looked at her mother dubiously. "Why?" _This certainly hadn't come up at her quilting bee._ "Why the secrecy? Why not just say that it's not that time of the month, but you still want to wait a couple days to make sure you're really done?"

Renee smiled and shook her head softly, wordlessly commenting on Bella's naiveté. "Sweet Bella," she placed her hands on the table and gave her daughter her full attention, "the male sex drive is like a toddler's tantrum. All logic is disregarded until it gets what it wants. Trust me. It's just easier this way."

Bella took in the nondescript way her mother was speaking and immediately recognized her discomfort. This, in turn, made Bella uncomfortable and she was hesitant to bring up other questions that she wanted answers for. But her desire for answers won out, and Bella pushed aside her anxiety, swallowed her humiliation and prepared herself to speak.

But the doorbell rang at that moment, and pulled her mother away.

It was the parcel delivery driver arriving to pick up her mother's old wedding dress and haul it across the nation to, in Bella's opinion, make it more hideous than it already was.

Bella knew that the sending off of the dress would prompt a conversation about it, and how excited her mother was to have her baby girl walk down the aisle in the same gown she'd worn so many years ago. But each time Bella spoke of the frock, it became harder and harder to conceal her distaste for it. So instead of hang out for further discussion, Bella ducked into her room with her betrothal book. She hadn't quite finished up the chapter on wedding vows, and despite the chance that Edward would cancel their plans for the following evening due to his mother's health, she wanted to be prepared just in case.

Alone in her room, Bella tried to focus on the history of loving, honoring, and obeying one's spouse. She tried to relish in the examples of wedding vows and the love that would exude from them if she said them to Edward.

But her mind could not rest there. Instead, she thought of a few memorable points from the quilting bee. And then the limited discussion she'd had with her mother earlier.

Embarrassed to admit it to anyone else but herself, Bella couldn't believe how often the concept of sex visited her waking thoughts. And not just sex, but sex with _Edward_.

When her readings spoke of the intimacy of writing one's own vows, Bella colored at the use of the word 'intimacy', and her mind immediately raced to another connotation.

When the term sex was used to delineate gender differences, Bella contested the urge to let her mind wander there – to what it would be like to have sex with Edward.

Not that she had much point of reference for any of it. She didn't have _much, but s_he had some.

It wasn't hard to imagine how her father would react to find out that a few years ago she'd let her curiosity get the better of her, and she'd peeked at some unsavory items in an attempt to satisfy her thirst for knowledge. However, it didn't take long before the weight of what she was doing caught up to her, and Bella initiated her own cease and desist campaign on gaining information. As much as she wanted to know – to understand the occasional innuendo or not look so blank-faced when her peers were speaking at school, Bella knew firsthand that the guilt and risk of being found out wasn't worth it.

And so, once again, Bella shut out that thought process and concentrated her attention on learning the meaning behind what she and Edward would soon repeat to one another in front of their friends and family in holy matrimony.

A feathery sigh escaped her lips as she read, and she thought about Edward and how much she missed him. She glanced down at her ring and twisted it straight on her finger. Whenever everything seemed so fairytale like and unreal, she'd glance down at her ring, a symbolic reminder of the endless bond she now shared with her betrothed. Usually it was enough to satiate her need for assurance for the wonderful man she had in Edward, but at that particular moment, it wasn't enough. She wanted to see him, to hear his voice.

She looked over at the clock and wondered what he was doing at that moment. Was he working? Or at the hospital visiting his mother? Or perhaps…

Her phone rang.

…thinking of her as well.

"Edward," she melted at the sound of his hello. "Is everything okay? How's your mother?"

Edward made it clear quickly that he'd called only to speak with her, and that there was no other emergency. All was well.

When he also made no move to cancel their plans for the following evening, Bella went on to tell him that she was prepared and looking forward to discussing the chapter on wedding vows. It was her small way of reassuring him that she couldn't wait to be his wife; that she was doing her part to keep things moving at a relatively quick pace.

"Actually…that's not the chapter we're on," Edward stammered a bit. When he said that they were only on chapter seventeen, Bella's first thought was that he simply hadn't had the opportunity to look at his chapter, or perhaps her book had a misprint that his didn't have.

"Oh, I think my book has a typo. It skips from chapter sixteen straight to chapter eighteen. There is no chapter seventeen."

"Yeah, that's not a typo," Edward said. "Chapter seventeen exists in only my book," he added.

Bella picked up an odd tone in his voice. It wasn't quite hesitancy, yet he didn't sound that forthcoming, either. Still, there was something there, something she felt he was prompting her to ask.

"Why is that?" Bella guessed that he had the answer to her question.

At first Edward claimed not to know, but then he said that he figured it was due to the nature of the topic and how they were supposed to 'discuss' it. "An I'll-lead-you'll-follow type of thing."

He was being evasive. Bella waited a moment for him to elaborate, but when he didn't, she again prompted him with a question.

"So what's the topic?" she asked.

When Edward finally answered, Bella did all that she could to suppress a humorous gasp. All day she'd struggled with impure thoughts in regards to Edward – fought hard to bury them, and now, here he was, inviting her into that arena once again.

"It's…um…the chapter…it's on…intimacy," Edward stuttered.

He meant intimacy as in closeness, right? Surely he didn't mean…

"Sexual intimacy," he reiterated. And when she didn't respond quick enough, he pressed on nervously. "Hey, at least it's not a quilting bee."

Bella felt as if the wind got knocked out of her. "You knew about that?" she'd had her suspicions. Each time it had come up, he'd start to act weird. And one time she'd even caught him blushing.

When he all but confirmed that he had known, Bella was shocked that he could keep something like that from her. And then a wave of humiliation cascaded down over her when she realized that Edward not only knew that quilting hadn't occurred, but he also knew what _had_ occurred in the church basement that Saturday morning.

Most likely, Edward could tell how she felt. She hadn't even needed to tell him that she felt betrayed by him, he sensed it, and therefore explained that he'd been told that he couldn't tell her. It was a tradition that he wasn't supposed to ruin for her.

_Did he have any idea how weird and awkward it was to sit and discuss sex with a room full of strangers? _She asked him as much.

"Do _you_ have any idea how awkward and embarrassing it was for me to know that you were going to be sitting there listening to my _mother?" _He asked in return, and she had to admit, he had a pretty good point.

At that, all they could do was laugh, and it cut the tension of the topic to shreds.

Still, they'd never really talked about sex before, and Bella was anxious to hear Edward's tone regarding it: not only what he would say, but how he would say it. Was he as nervous as she was, or was he passé and unencumbered by it all?

When Bella asked what, in particular, they'd be discussing the following night, since it obviously wouldn't be wedding vows, she held her breath as she waited for Edward's answer. He'd already gone to great lengths to keep this chapter a secret, but now that it was out in the open, how candid would he be?

"Health, male and female anatomy, preferences, expectations…" Edward sounded like a narrator as he rattled off the chapter contents.

Bella thought about their upcoming evening, and how awkward it would be to sit across from one another and simply delve into this topic. It would be nice if they could have an ice-breaker of sorts, since they'd never ventured into this territory as thoroughly as it sounded like the chapter intended for them to.

She was about to articulate her reservations for face-to-face discussion when Edward verbalized his own, giving Bella the opportunity to suggest that they have a discussion over the phone. She was delighted that Edward was amenable to the idea. After all, it was much less embarrassing to blush continually when one couldn't be seen.

When Edward simply began reading the content of the first paragraph, Bella couldn't believe the bold, brash wording the author used:

"When two people come into close contact with one another, one of the first senses titillated, is the sense of smell," Edward read. "For this reason, a man and woman should take great pride in their personal hygiene, as caring for their own body is yet another way they can show how much they care for their betrothed.

"For a man, this means…" Edward paused uncomfortably before continuing, "using a mild soap around and under the…genital area and avoiding heavy, perfumed odors that grow pungent when mingled with sweat and body oil.

"Women, should also avoid heavily fragranced soaps, as this is unhealthy for the normal pH balance within the… vagina and can cause unnecessary discomfort. In addition, women must work thoroughly to cleanse themselves at the completion of their monthly cycle in preparation of coming together with their spouse once again."

Bella moved over to her bed and buried her burning face in her pillow as she listened to Edward stumble through instructions for trimming genital hair and the danger of douching. This was much more than any man should ever know about what a woman does behind the closed doors of a bathroom.

"H-how long is yours?"

Bella noticed that Edward asked this question soon after reading that a couple is to abstain from all sexual activity while a woman is on her monthly period.

"A week." Renee had done an excellent job of drilling that answer into Bella's head earlier that day, because it just came out, without a second thought.

And just like her mother had insinuated, Edward tried to whittle away at the answer, but Bella held firm, and he eventually backed down.

But then he shocked her when he asked her if it was that time of the month for her at that moment.

Bella was dumbfounded as she answered,"No." _Why would he want to know that?_

But as Edward kept reading, it became hazily clear why he was asking.

At first, Bella thought he'd misspoke and said 'practicable' when he was supposed to say 'practical':

"During practicable application, the betrothed couple should feel free to let one another know their opinion of the other's grooming habits. Use this time to uncover preferences on body and genital hair, perfumes, undergarments, breath enhancements and anything else palatable to the senses."

Spoken either way, it alluded to a term they hadn't yet defined. So Bella waited patiently to see if it would come up again.

It did.

In a section subtitled: Embracing the Differences, Edward again swept over the phrase of practicable application, his pronunciation consistent.

"During practicable application, a woman must take great care with the tip of the penis and the scrotum. These are very sensitive areas and a misguided touch, intended for pleasure, could cause pain, instead." Edward stopped reading to chuckle, musing that it made him feel like he was in middle school all over again.

"You talked about this in your seventh grade health class?" Bella was surprised. In Montana, Cannabeans who attended public school were never subjected to secular education regarding sex.

Edward confirmed that he had, and Bella felt the chasm of knowledge between them widen just a bit. And it didn't help when he asked her if she knew anything, with the expectation that she did, instead of that she didn't.

"Well, I have had my quilting bee," Bella joked, but it was only to hide the discomfort at the way Edward was making her feel – as if she were lacking in the area. Were Cannabean girls in Forks more 'in the know' than in Montana? Was this what he was expecting of her?

Bella hinted at the issue of experience, reiterating that she had none, and testing if he had none as well. Because he'd previously told her that he hadn't. And she'd overheard her father telling her mother once, something about Edward saying that he was a virgin.

But something felt off. Edward was deflective in his answers regarding his knowledge of the female anatomy. Bella cringed to think of what that meant. Had he and Alice actually gone further than he'd previously let on? He'd said he'd never kissed her…but had he "practiced" the application of chapter seventeen with her?

Of course there was no way Bella could ask him that without insinuating that he'd lied to her. So she buried that issue and bantered back and forth with Edward on the topic until they both felt comfortable enough to proceed to the next section.

The next section was simply titled: Practicable Application.

"Are they saying practical or practicable?" Bella blurted out when she couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Practicable," Edward said quietly. "The first time I read it, I had to check the dictionary to make sure it was a real word," he chuckled.

_The first time?_ How many times had he read it?

"Practicable…as in practice? It's telling us to…"

"Yeah." Edward didn't offer any additional explanation. After a few seconds of silence, he began reading. Bella could tell that he was uncomfortable.

Bella could feel her own cheeks burning against the air as she burrowed under her blanket in an attempt to shield herself from the humiliation she felt at her burning desire. Edward was reading about female stimulation, breasts and soft touches and it was all that she could do not to moan aloud at the vision of it.

Her silence seemed to concern him, and he stopped mid-sentence to ask her if she had any questions. She squeaked out something about soap and allergies, a question that should have been asked when they were talking about personal hygiene, but it was the only thing she could think of spur of the moment. Because there was no way she was going to ask him the real questions that pummeled her.

That is, until he popped the question that paved the way for her to do the same.

"Bella, have you…ever _seen_ a penis?" He asked.

She didn't want to lie. She had seen one before, but not in person. "I have…in theory." She held her breath, hoping he wouldn't ask her to explain further.

He did.

"In theory? What does that mean?"

"You know, in textbooks…and stuff." Bella suppressed her breathing as she waited for Edward to call her out on the "and stuff", but he did not. And so now, it was her turn to ask him. Now she would know if her feelings of trepidation were warranted.

"Have you…seen a naked woman, I mean?" she asked in one exhale.

Again Edward made a joke of his answer, telling her about the countless medical journals his father had lying around the house that displayed the female body. And then of course, there was the live birth.

Bella was both relieved and impressed by that answer. No one is thinking about the sexual appeal of a naked woman when she's pushing a baby out from her loins!

Bella relaxed after that, and she and Edward continued their conversation. He finished off the chapter, but the threat of those before her no longer colored her reception of it. Therefore, she was able to clearly receive how her relationship with Edward would change from here on out. And even though Edward didn't emphasize or point anything specific out to her, she heard the nuances the author used and she knew what was coming next.

"So…I guess we don't have to read back through this tomorrow," Bella said nervously as the conversation wound down. It was getting really late.

"Yeah, we just have the…I wonder why they didn't just call it live experience or some other obvious term, you know?" Edward asked.

Bella nodded, despite the fact that he couldn't see her. "I'm learning that nothing about the betrothal process is obvious." She then grabbed her betrothal book off her nightstand and looked at the table of contents. She asked Edward how many chapters he had and when his number matched hers, she asked for the chapter titles.

"No more surprises, Bella," Edward promised.

"Good. I don't think my heart can take it," she stated.

She heard Edward yawn, and knew that he had to be up for work in the morning. "You're making tired sounds," she told him.

"I am," he agreed. "Not that I'm tired of talking to you. I could stay on the phone with you all night."

"Likewise," Bella told him. And now that Charlie had backed off about her talking to Edward on the phone late into the night, she was sure that it wouldn't be impossible to pull off.

"But I have to be on a two o'clock conference call with Brussels, their time, which is five o'clock in the morning our time. So…I'd better say goodnight."

"Good night."

"Sweet dreams."

They were nice parting words, but Bella was too worked up to have sweet dreams. After disconnecting from Edward, she sat on her bed and thought about the conversation they'd just had. In truth, it had been one of the most relationship bridging conversations they'd ever engaged in. Without the hindrance of face-to-face humiliation, Bella got to 'see' a depth in Edward that she had not yet experienced. It was soul-baring.

So many questions had been answered for her, though new ones did emerge. The most pressing one being why the Cannabean elders felt it necessary to keep the topic of sexual intimacy away from her. Why did Edward get to be more prepared for this conversation than she did? It made absolutely no sense to Bella to put a chapter on sexual intimacy in the man's book only. If anything, Bella figured the author should have put a chapter _about_ women in the man's book, and a chapter about men in the woman's book.

"I wonder why they didn't?" she said aloud to the empty room.

She pondered on the question most of the night, and as she lay in her bed staring up at the ceiling, the questions began to multiply exponentially. Suddenly the why's and how-comes outnumbered any number of assurances she might have had.

It was possible that she was just tired, and trying to process a lot of information. As she drifted off to sleep, she told herself that it would all look clearer in the morning.

But even after a few hours sleep, Bella couldn't shake the assortment of feelings that threatened to swallow her whole. Feelings of confusion, anger, bewilderment, desire, lust and guilt, all battled for a majority presence, none of them quite winning out. So at five thirty in the morning, when her mother returned to the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee (she'd already been up once to make coffee for Charlie before he went to work), there sat Bella, looking as if she wore the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Bella?" Renee stopped in her tracks fearfully as she took in the lone figure at the table. "What's the matter?"

"I'm tired." Bella muttered into the hazy dawn light.

"Then go back to bed," Renee suggested.

"Not that kind of tired." Bella's eyes finally landed upon her mother.

Renee's eyes widened at the expression on Bella's face and she leaned against the counter for support. "I'm probably going to need coffee for this," she deduced.

After pouring herself a cup of the steaming morning brew, Renee sat down opposite Bella and readied herself for whatever her daughter had to say. "So what's got you so exhausted?"

"All this secrecy!" Bella exploded.

"Secrecy?" Renee reared back in her seat. "Is this about the quilting bee again?"

Bella smiled ruefully. "Silly me. I thought nothing could be worse than that quilting bee, but here I sit – wrong again."

"Bella, the quilting bee wasn't –"

"Yes, it was," Bella argued before her mother finished her point. But the quilting bee wasn't what she wanted to discuss, so she didn't linger on that topic.

"I feel that I've put up with a lot, Mom," she began instead. "Since meeting Edward, quite a bit has been ambiguous, and I didn't say anything. I knew enough to know that that was the way things were supposed to be. But now…"

"What's changed?" Renee's brow creased with worry.

"Well I _thought_ my relationship with Edward had changed. I thought that once we were to be married, our relationship became _ours_ and there would be less…I thought there would be more opportunity for us to be more _even_."

"There is, Bella," Renee said reassuringly.

But Bella shook her head in disagreement. "There isn't." Bella braced her elbows against the table and rested her forehead in her hands, staring down at the well-worn wood. "And in the _one_ area where I thought we were completely equated…"

Renee just sat quietly, patiently waiting for her daughter to realize that she couldn't read her mind.

"I'm missing an entire chapter!" Bella finally spat out. "My betrothal book…chapter _seventeen_?" Bella raised an eyebrow to her mother.

A sly grin erupted onto Renee's face before it quickly disappeared. "You two are there…already?" she asked. "Yes…I guess you are," she concluded, answering her own question.

"Why?" Bella wanted to know. "Whose idea was it to put that chapter in his book and not mine? Of what benefit is it to have him know what to do and not me? Why do I always have to be the one that comes away looking like a fool?" Bella quickly became overwhelmed with emotion. "And I don't know why you're smiling. It's not funny."

"No. It's not. And I'm not laughing at you. I'm just laughing at the memory of asking my mother the very same question," Renee revealed.

"See that? That right there is what I don't get," Bella pointed her finger to emphasize her point. "You've been here. You know exactly what I'm going through and yet, you're not helping me out. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not my place to tell you, Bella."

"It _is_ your place. You're my mother. You gave birth to me. You taught me to cook, to clean, to sew, to read, to drive…"

"And I taught you about sex, Bella. I taught you about the cycle of life, about where babies come from, about the nature of your body…"

"From a biological standpoint," Bella resisted raising her voice. "You didn't tell me about how it really is, Mom. You didn't tell me what Edward expects of me."

"As I said, it's not my place." Renee held Bella's gaze as she took a sip of her tepid coffee. "What you want to know is about the aspect of making love to your husband, the technique of making love to your husband."

Bella shrugged an 'I don't know'.

"Well I do know," Renee stated. "Because I wanted to know that, too. I wanted that mystery solved before I stood on the alter and promised to give myself unconditionally in that way." Renee sighed wistfully. "Luckily, I did learn it by then. And you will, too, Bella. It just won't be from me."

Bella, too uncomfortable to focus on her mother's face for a lengthy period of time, looked up at her then, and read the answer to her unuttered question in her mother's eyes.

"Edward." Bella whispered.

"There is a reason that he's given all the answers on this one, Bella." Renee set down her mug and reached across the table to take Bella's hands in hers. "For some unknown reason, sex is very uneven for men and women. While men are heavily driven by visual stimulation and the physical feelings of sex, women are more driven by emotions, and the emotional feelings of sex. And I think, because of that, women have always been laden with the responsibility of protecting themselves _from_ sex.

"For a woman, having sex involves giving of oneself in such a way that you can never go back to the way you were afterwards, physically or emotionally. In the wrong environment, sex can leave a woman feeling incomplete and void, as though she's lost some piece of herself in the process. However, in the right environment, sex is great. In a loving committed marriage, it aides in two becoming one – a symbiotic, loving bond.

"I tell you this, Bella, because I know your father and I have taken great precaution over the years to instill in you strict boundaries regarding sex. We wanted to keep you whole and pure in its regard, in hopes that when the time came for you to give yourself in that way, you would be able to do so completely, without the hindrance of having the beauty of the experience chipped away by a myriad of bad experiences.

"But now that time has come, Bella. Edward is the one for you. And as you go forward in this union, you'll need to unlearn those prohibitions and learn how to embrace the feelings he evokes in you."

Her mother's words of wisdom worked to diffuse the confusion Bella felt as they corroborated what Edward had read and discussed with her the night before.

"So the practicable application?" Bella wondered.

"The only restriction at this point, Bella, is that you can't have intercourse until after you're married." Renee looked at her pointedly. "Understand?"

Bella nodded. "We can't have sex, but we can…"

"Explore, discover, learn…" Renee smirked at Bella as she patted her hand. "And that whole bit about it not being okay to _enjoy_ it? Myth."

Bella sat back in her chair, slightly contented. That's all she'd wanted – to _know_. A definitive answer of what was okay and what wasn't, instead of the state of juxtaposition that she'd found herself in since the day Edward had called and revealed his interest in her.

"It's like having your own personal song, Bella," Renee added. "Edward is the composer and you are the notes. I can't tell you where to rise and fall. Only Edward can do that. Okay?"

Bella nodded her understanding. "Is that what Grandma told you when you asked her?"

"Oh heavens no," Renee laughed out loud. "She told me to shut up and quit asking so many questions."

"Well thanks for not following in those footsteps," Bella stated as she rose from the table and headed for her bedroom.

"Oh, and Bella," Renee called after her, "You may not need to know this at this very moment, but just keep in mind that no matter how much Edward whines and begs, waiting until the wedding night isn't going to kill him."

Bella's laughter trailed after her as she once again returned to her bedroom. But this time, she wasn't avoiding or hiding – she was planning. Planning to learn, and be learned, discover and be discovered, explore and be explored.

And just as her mother had suggested minutes before, Bella gave herself permission to enjoy it.

'*'

Hours later, Bella stood on the Cullen porch holding a home cooked meal and wearing the dress that Edward had previously asked her not to wear, for _sexual_ reasons. She wondered if he would even recognize it.

Edward opened the door at once, and after one full sweep of her form by his evergreen eyes, Bella knew that he had.

Carlisle made an appearance just long enough to make a plate of dinner for himself and Esme. He offered his gratitude for the food and then hastened back up the stairs to be with his wife.

"You look beautiful," Edward said after glancing over at Bella several times.

Bella smiled. "At least you didn't say 'nervous'."

"_Are _you nervous?" He asked.

Bella held up her left hand and indicated with her thumb and forefinger that she was, just a little bit. Edward quickly wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him in an embrace. He kissed her ear softly before whispering, "Don't be."

But how could she not be? Their upcoming activities hung in the air like Tallahassee humidity on a hot August night. Every touch, every glance, every softly spoken word pointed, directed and ushered them up the stairs and into the small observatory that Edward had prepared.

"Oh, Edward, it's beautiful," Bella said of the small space as she tried not to focus on the fact that Carlisle was right on the other side of the slightly open door. _Okay, maybe they wouldn't be doing what she thought they'd be doing._

"I could say the same of my company," Edward murmured as he came up behind her and held her against him.

And just like that, the discovery began. Hands roved, lips roamed and moans rippled through the air as Bella gave in to the way Edward made her feel. So tentative he was, at first. Gently his palms glided over her arms and across her torso. His strokes felt loving and purposeful.

But then he grazed her breast, just as he deepened his kiss and Bella could feel the frenzy behind his desire. Suddenly his movements became choppy and terse – desperate and intense.

Instead of caressing, he pinched, instead of rubbing, he grabbed, and instead of patting, he squeezed.

It felt heavenly.

"Mmmm…Edward," sighed Bella. She stopped herself from any further utterings, as Carlisle was right on the other side of the door.

But her murmuring encouraged Edward, and he tugged at her shrug until it was lying at her feet. When he started for the zipper on her dress, Bella clamped her arms down against her torso and looked over at the door.

"He won't come in here," Edward voiced as he read the emotion on her face. "I asked him not to."

_Trust, trust, trust,_ Bella repeated to herself. Edward continually asked her to trust him, and this was as good a way as any to show him that she did. Slowly she followed him over to a soft leather sofa and sat down next to him. She nodded her allowance as he leaned over and kissed her while lowering the top of her dress to reveal her naked chest.

She felt cold and exposed as Edward raked his lips over her neck and down her shoulder. But when he moved his mouth over her breast, and his tongue dashed out to tease her nipple, she felt a bolt of heat bullet between her legs. Her fingers clamped down on his thigh as he sucked, licked and bit at the torrid flesh.

As he continued his ministrations against her chest, Bella felt Edward's hands begin their ascent underneath the skirt of her dress. Gradually, her hands mimicked his and slid up his thighs, toward his groin.

All the air caught in Bella's throat when she felt Edward place his hand on hers and guide it higher. With determination, she lifted her hand higher until it rested against his erection. She trailed her fingers along the definition of it. It seemed to go on forever…

"Yes.." a breathy moan escaped Edward's lips. Bella strained to get a look at him in the darkness – to see if she could read any signals on his face. _Was she doing this right?_

There, however, was no question as to whether or not Edward was doing it right. His fingers moved so adeptly over her hips.

"You're so soft," he words pelted against her neck.

Suddenly Edward's breathing changed. It picked up and deepened at the same time.

"Bella," Edward's voice sounded pained.

Bella immediately withdrew her hand and moved away. She'd hurt him, she knew it. She'd done exactly what the chapter had warned against. She'd touched him in a way that caused pain.

"I'm sorry," she apologized quickly. "What happened?"

Edward shook his head to appease her. "Trust me, you're doing _everything_ right," he said. It was as if he knew exactly what she needed to hear…and what she needed to see.

At that moment, Edward leaned back slightly and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. After a few adjustments, he released himself from his underwear, and Bella got an eyeful of what she'd been attending to all evening.

She tried not to stare, but it was nearly impossible. _How did he get all of that in there? _She almost asked him that question, but his fingers found hers and he pulled her hand right onto him…there.

Bella's teeth clamped down on her lip nervously when it seemed that Edward expected her to know what to do. But her panic was in vain; after a few seconds, he coaxed her fingers around his penis and then began to guide her hand in a slow upward and downward repetitive motion.

He groaned his appreciation, and Bella began to boldly move on her own. Her hands faltered a bit when Edward's fingers began to knead the flesh of her backside. Hard.

But it was when he moved inward, between her legs, that her heart skipped a beat.

Bella hadn't said a word – not even one hint, as to what would feel good to her once his fingers had arrived beneath her underwear. But Edward _knew._ He knew how to softly stroke the edge of her outer lips with the tip of his finger. He knew how to part her slowly, with two fingers, while stroking her languidly with a third. And he knew about that magic place, that core of ecstasy that so yearned for his touch.

Unexpectedly, she felt pain, and she flinched as her pubic hair was caught in Edward's movements.

"Sorry," he stated quickly.

"It's okay," Bella said, just as quickly. _Just don't stop._ Because he was right….there…

Bella sighed against him as he rubbed insistent circles against her clitoris.

All of a sudden, Edward began to feel extremely slippery. Bella felt her hands become coated with wetness and she wondered if he'd ejaculated into her lap. The thought scared her, because the only thing between her and Edward's penis was their hands.

"We'd better stop," Bella said, even though Edward had made it clear that he didn't want to.

He sighed and laid back against the couch like he was thinking up an argument to change her mind, but then he sat up and began situating his clothes. Bella did the same.

The situation seemed like it warranted conversation, but Bella didn't know what to say. Overt flattery was out of the question, though she felt that Edward would probably appreciate knowing how wonderful she thought he was at making her feel…wonderful.

"I think I'm back to feeling like we're not on level playing fields," she giggled nervously as she tried to inconspicuously compliment Edward.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I don't know what I'm doing and you definitely do," Bella told him. He'd already reassured her once, but it was hard to have faith in his words when his actions so outshined hers.

"Who says you don't know what you're doing? Trust me when I say that you do," Edward reiterated as if it were the first time he'd said it.

But still, she needed more. "But you had to show me what to do. I didn't have to show you anything. You just knew." It was her way of telling him that she enjoyed everything he did. And then casually, she worked in the question that had been gnawing at the edge of her consciousness. "Are you sure you've never done this before?"

There was a long pause and Bella looked up from trying to secretly straighten the strap of her bra.

The expression he wore looked pensive as he responded, "You're the only woman I've ever been this intimate with, Bella."

_This intimate. _Not merely intimate, but _this_ intimate.

"This intimate? Or intimate, period?" Bella heard herself ask. Of course, the moment the question left her lips, she knew the answer. Because in that instant, Edward flinched.

As Bella leapt to her feet and grabbed at her dress, she fleetingly wondered how it had happened so quickly. One moment they were communing in the most personal of ways, and then the next moment they were full out arguing.

Or at least she was. Edward just stood there gawking at her as she slung accusations at him. But finally he found his tongue, and his anger. He told Bella that she was overreacting.

Overreacting? Overreacting to hearing her soon-to-be-husband tell her that '_it_' didn't matter because it was a long time ago? What, exactly, did '_it'_ consist of?

Once again, Bella felt the fool. All the while, she had thought that Edward was seeing her, and only her, when they were together, when they cherished one another in such a private way.

But she now knew that there were others before her – others who shared in the 'song' he was supposed to be composing with her body alone. Another woman, or other _women_ had experienced her Edward; they held the curve of his lips and the feel of his touch in their memory. And worst of all, he held theirs in his.

Well she wasn't going to stand around to find out how much she didn't measure up. She threw open the door and raced away from Edward's guilty countenance, away from Carlisle's astonished gaze and away from the Cullen house altogether.

Hurriedly she put her key in the ignition and drove away before Edward could come after her. She had no idea what she would do if he did, but she knew she didn't want to talk to him.

At all.


	23. The Emotional Depth of Physical Love, P2

_**The Emotional Depth of Physical Love, Pt.2. **_…_However, it is often the realization and definition of these feelings that are the biggest challenge of all. _

Bella quickly swatted at her tears before she walked through her front door. With her head down, she focused her steps toward her bedroom, but her father's voice rang out from the living room and halted her.

"Bella? That you?" he asked.

"Yeah," she sniffed and then tried to conceal it with a fake cough.

"I thought you were stayin' at the Cullen's now…to look after Esme," he called to her.

"Oh…uh…Carlisle's home. I thought I was only supposed to stay when he wasn't there." Bella's mind raced for a quick explanation.

"Ah…okay. Well…did you have a nice time over at the Cullen's?"

"Sure, I'm just really tired. I'm going to head to bed."

"Okay, but, I put some suitcases in your room because I thought-"

"Great, Dad. Thanks," Bella interrupted, anxious to put some space between herself and her father.

But when she walked into her bedroom, she understood why he was trying to warn her about the suitcases. They covered her bed, and from the doorway she could see that her father hadn't bothered to dust them off before placing them on her bedspread.

"We thought you were going to be staying over at the Cullen's. Carlisle called earlier and said that he had rotations tomorrow morning. I thought he talked to you." Renee had been so quiet that Bella hadn't heard her enter.

"Did he say what time tomorrow morning?" Bella asked.

"He might have said eight," Renee wasn't sure.

"I'll drive over at seven, then," Bella said with finality. Edward had to be at work at six, so that would ensure that he wouldn't be in the house when she arrived.

"I'll have to drive you. I need the car tomorrow," Renee stated.

"Fine. That's fine," Bella said quickly.

She noticed her mother hovering in the doorway as she pulled the dirty suitcases from her bed.

"So…" Renee began. "You seem a little…"

"I'm really tired. I'm just gonna go to bed, if that's alright with you," Bella said in a clipped tone.

Renee raised one eyebrow, but didn't argue. She nodded her head and left Bella to herself.

Behind the closed door, Bella tried to put the thoughts of her night with Edward out of her mind, but her body would not cooperate. It remembered the feel of firm hands up her legs and the heat of hot breath on her neck.

And the knowledge that Edward knew that intimacy with another woman twisted Bella's stomach in knots.

There would be no respite in sleep for her that night.

'*'

Renee dropped Bella off at the Cullen home the next morning, just as was planned. When Carlisle answered the door, he looked as if he had something to say to Bella, but then he looked over at Renee and changed his mind.

"I wasn't sure if you were coming or not," he said instead. "I was about to call the hospital and change my schedule."

"Oh," Bella looked over at her mother. "Well did you want to do that? I can come back another time…"

"No, no," Carlisle shook his head quickly. "It's much better if I take my rounds today. I'm just glad you could make it."

Bella nodded but avoided further eye contact. The last thing she wanted was for Carlisle to ask her any questions in front of her mother that would reveal the quarrel she'd had with Edward.

"I was just getting ready to take Esme a cup of tea," Carlisle said once Bella had waved goodbye to her mother and followed him into the house.

"Oh, I'll do that. You can finish getting ready for work if you need to."

"Thanks, Bella," Carlisle smiled. The sincerity of his grin shown in his eyes as he gazed down at Bella. "And how are you doing this morning? Everything alright? I know Edward was a little-"

"I'm great, thanks. But, I'd better get on that tea. I don't want to keep Esme waiting," Bella said. Speedily, Bella disappeared into the kitchen before Carlisle could say another word about Edward.

She worked busily at the task for Esme, and after she'd finished, she ascended the stairs with the piping hot liquid, careful not to spill.

"Bella," Esme exclaimed happily when Bella entered her room. "I thought I heard your voice downstairs."

Bella smiled. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Good for now," Esme said, not one to complain. "Carlisle said that you might be stopping by today, and I'm glad that you did." Esme shuffled through a stack of magazines and catalogs that lie on the bed next to her. "I wanted to show you this catalog of modest and temple ready wedding gowns I found."

"Oh." Bella was about to dismiss the display of photographed images and tell Esme that her mother had already sent her dress off to be altered, but before she could say anymore, Esme thrust a picture of a dress in Bella's face.

And it was exquisite.

"Wow…" Bella whispered.

"Isn't it beautiful? When I saw it, I immediately pictured you in it," Esme beamed.

Bella accepted the catalog and flipped through a few pages. Each dress just got more and more beautiful.

And then she saw it: the dress that had visited her in her dreams every night since the betrothal was announced.

She gasped.

"What? What is it? Which one?" Esme held her hands out excitedly to retrieve the catalog back.

But Bella shut the catalog closed and placed it down on the bed. There was no use in getting her hopes up or entertaining the idea of a new dress. Even if her mother hadn't been set on the idea of Bella wearing her dress, there was no way they could afford the one in the catalog.

Before she could explain her actions, and respectfully state her position, Bella heard the rustle of keys and a slight knock on the wooden bedroom door.

"Mom, I'm off to work. Did you need anything before I—"

Bella turned away quickly before Edward had a chance to make eye contact with her. She'd just assumed he'd gone to work at his normal time. She hadn't prepared herself for what she'd do if he was actually home.

"Bella?" Edward asked.

Instead of answer, Bella stood and picked up Esme's half-empty tea cup. "Esme, this feels a bit cold. Why don't I go freshen it up for you?" Bella didn't wait for an answer. Esme was still telling her she didn't need to go through the trouble when Bella was halfway down the hall.

She heard the patter of Edward's footfalls as he followed after her.

"Bella," he called.

She continued to the kitchen without answering.

At the bottom of the staircase, he caught her by the elbow and stopped her.

"Seriously? You're not speaking to me?" Edward asked earnestly.

"I promised your mother tea," Bella said quietly as she pulled away from him.

"So we're not even going to talk about this?" Edward asked as he followed her into the kitchen. "This is ridiculous."

"Yes, Edward, it is ridiculous; how you want to talk about this _now,_ but all those other times, when you had ample opportunity to be open and honest, funny how you didn't want to talk about it then," Bella admonished him.

"That's because there was nothing to talk about!" Edward raised and then lowered his voice quickly. He looked over his shoulder to make sure they were still alone. "Look, you can't possibly hold something against me that I did when I was sixteen years old. That was nearly nine years ago."

"How many were there, Edward? Huh? How many women were there before me, since you're in the mood to be open and honest," Bella continued on.

Edward grimaced at her. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

"Then I guess we're not speaking." Quickly, Bella placed a new teabag in the cup of hot water and skirted out of Edward's reach as she headed back up the stairs to Esme.

Behind her, she heard Edward slam the door as he headed off to work.

"Everything okay?" Esme asked with a worried expression.

"All is well," Bella stated insincerely. "I noticed the plants on the deck need a little attention. If you didn't need anything else for the moment, do you mind if I step out…"

"Of course not," Esme agreed, but the look of concern never left her face.

Bella raced out of the room and made it down the hall before the tears came.

'*'

The phone rang repeatedly throughout the day. If it wasn't Bella's mobile phone, then it was the house phone, or once, even the fax machine. Each time, Bella acted as if she didn't hear it, and Esme didn't make a mention of it either. However, when Esme's cell phone rang, she did ask Bella to bring it to her, and Bella did so but didn't stick around to find out who it was that was calling.

Instead, she made herself scarce, tending to Esme diligently, but not lingering long enough for the conversation to turn personal.

Fortunately, Esme, still not used to taking pain medication, slept for the majority of the day, leaving Bella to her own devices, which mostly consisted of avoiding Edward's calls and trying not to think of him.

Right before Edward was due to be home, Bella brought Esme an afternoon snack and noticed that Esme seemed to be overly interested in the time. Every few seconds her eyes would shift over to the clock, and Bella wondered if she was keeping her from something.

"It's time for your medicine. Are you in pain?" Bella asked.

"Not bad. In fact, I'm feeling much better today than I was yesterday." Suddenly her eyes landed on the door and brightened at something she saw.

Bella felt herself tense, but then she immediately relaxed when she saw Rosalie poke her head inside the bedroom.

"Hello there," she smiled. "No one answered when I knocked, so I just let myself in. Hope that's okay," she said as she waddled over to the bed and sat down next to Esme.

"Sorry, I didn't hear it," Bella apologized. "I can hear the doorbell from up here, but not a knock."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Rosalie replied. "It wasn't like you were expecting me anyway." She turned to Esme slyly. "I left a message on your cell phone earlier. Did you get it?"

Esme nodded and offered a weak smile. The pain medication Bella had just given her had yet to take effect. "Renee is on her way."

Bella turned to look between Esme and Rosalie. "My mother? She's coming here?"

"She's going to sit with Esme while you're out," Rosalie said.

"Out where? I'm not going anywhere," Bella looked confused.

"You sure are," Rosalie grinned. "I'm taking you out for a little pre-wedding girl time."

"But-but…I can't just leave," Bella protested as she looked over at Esme. She had responsibilities here. How would it look if on her first day of sitting with Esme she took off to go gallivanting around the town? Not to mention the fact that she'd have to call Edward to let him know of her plans, and calling Edward meant _talking_ to Edward.

"There's no use fighting it, Bella," Esme smiled. "Consider yourself kidnapped."

Bella eyed Esme carefully. Even though they hadn't discussed it, Bella knew that Esme was aware that she and Edward weren't speaking, but to go off who-knows-where without telling him of her plans…

"I'll let Edward know that you're with Rosalie. He'll understand," Esme stated, her understanding obvious.

"Well, at least let us wait until my mother gets here to take my place. I don't want to leave you on your own. What if-"

Esme waved her hands at the girls in a shooing motion. "She'll be here any second. You two go on ahead. Have a good time."

Bella looked over at Rosalie after all her excuses had been deflated. "Okay…I guess I'm ready when you are."

"Let's go!" Rosalie hooted and stood up as fast as her pregnant body would allow.

'*'

Dinner was an interesting event. There were only a handful of restaurants in the small town, none of which were five star establishments. Still, Rosalie seemed determined to show Bella a good time, starting with a sit-down meal. Therefore, she continually shushed Bella when she suggested picking up quick items from the grocery store.

"It's not the Ritz, but it'll do," Rosalie said as she pulled into the parking lot of the familiar In Place restaurant.

"No!" Bella spoke up quickly. "I mean…I was just here. I'd…rather go someplace else." Someplace that didn't remind her of the day Edward had begun planning to marry her.

"I know it's not the best, but this is where I told Alice to meet us," Rosalie shrugged. "Besides, they have the best french fries."

"Alice is here?" Bella asked. She did her best to hide the disappointment in her voice. Whether or not her feelings were warranted, Alice was the last person she wanted to spend time with.

"Yep. She's meeting us. We can't have a soon-to-be-sisters celebration without one of our sisters, now can we?" Rosalie asked.

"No…"Bella said quietly. "Of course not."

Bella allowed Rosalie to lead her inside of the restaurant, and because this was Bella's lucky day, Alice happened to be sitting in the same booth that Bella had shared with Edward when they had visited the restaurant.

Alice spotted them immediately and began waving her hands in the air to get their attention.

"Did you have to wait long?" Rosalie asked as she eyed the narrow space between the table and the back of the bench seat.

"You'll fit," Alice rolled her eyes before turning her attention to Bella. She clapped her hands together in happiness. "I'm so glad we could steal you away."

Bella offered a weak smile to Alice and took a seat next to Rosalie.

"Bella doesn't think she should be here," Rosalie explained.

"It's not that," Bella quickly said. "It's just that I feel bad leaving Esme. Even if my mother is covering me, I promised to help her out. It just doesn't feel right to shirk that responsibility."

"Shirk, smirk," Alice chided. "You only get married once. Esme understands. She thinks this is a great idea."

Bella looked at the tabletop and twisted her fingers silently. To a casual onlooker, she might have appeared nervous or shy. Only Bella knew the real reason for her standoffishness, and she was sitting directly across from her. In light of Edward's recent revelations, Bella felt extremely uncomfortable in Alice's presence, as she concluded that his not telling her about past experiences also meant not telling her about experiences with Alice.

"Well...since it's only dinner," Bella muttered. The faster she got dinner over, the faster she could get home and put this entire day behind her.

Or so she thought.

"Oh, it's not just dinner," Rosalie looked over at Alice and winked.

Throughout the meal, Alice and Rosalie made sure to drop enough hints to let Bella know that they had something special planned, but they had no intention of letting her in on the secret anytime soon. Finally, once Rosalie's appetite for greasy food was sated, she ushered Bella back to the car, while Alice crossed the parking lot to her own vehicle.

"She has to go pick up Jasper from work later, so she drove herself," Rosalie said when she noticed Bella looking across the lot to Alice.

"Oh…I wondered why we were in separate cars," Bella stated as if she wasn't fond of the separation, when, in actually, she welcomed it.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked when Rosalie turned down a road she wasn't used to traveling.

"You'll see," Rosalie said cryptically.

'*'

_You'll see _turned out to be the Quillayute River Resort.

"What's going on? Why are we here?" Bella asked as she looked over the meticulously landscaped acreage.

"Come on. There will be plenty of time to explain…inside." Rosalie said as she wrestled with the steering wheel to let her bulging belly out of the car.

The room they'd reserved was a nice one, and Bella walked right in and immediately began to look around at her surroundings. Three champagne flutes were lined up on the counter next to a cold bottle of sparkling apple cider. A small brown paper bag sat next to a television inside a large armoire, and a platter of chocolate covered strawberries sat on a wood-carved table in the middle of the room.

"Pretty good service," Rosalie said as she took in the arrangements.

Alice walked into the room then, carrying a handful of large shopping bags.

"Okay, so what's going on?" Bella asked again.

"What do you mean what's going on?" Alice asked innocently. "This is just us, welcoming you into the family."

"Yeah," Rosalie said as she opened the bottle of sparkling cider. She poured three glasses and handed them each one. "We never really get the opportunity to do anything, just us girls, you know? And you're going to be so busy soon, with all the wedding stuff."

"True," Bella said quietly. She felt like a fraud, standing there discussing marriage and weddings when she wasn't even on speaking terms with Edward.

"So, without further adieu, let's get this party started, shall we?" Rosalie asked as she held her glass up for a toast.

Next, Alice passed Bella three gifts to open. The first was a lovely set of soft, plump bath towels. The second was a long, silky cornflower blue nightgown with a matching robe.

And the last was what looked like an unmarked CD.

"It's a DVD," Rosalie clarified. If Bella had been paying closer attention, she might have noticed the gleam in her soon-to-be-sister-in-law's eye.

"But first," Alice said, plucking the DVD from Bella's fingertips, "a game."

"A game?" Bella echoed.

"Yes. To help us get to know you a little better," Alice said.

Rosalie moved to a chair across from Bella and struggled a bit for a comfortable position. "Okay, this game is called 'Have You Ever'. Basically, we're going to ask you some things that we might not normally get the chance to ask you."

"And you can ask us questions in return," Alice spoke quickly when Bella's look turned skeptical.

"And we promise to answer," Rosalie nodded. "That's the one rule: you have to answer."

"That's not the only rule," Alice contested. "The other rule is that nothing spoken here leaves this room."

"Oh, yeah, yeah. Right." Rosalie said impatiently. "Okay…ready Bella?"

"Um…I guess…" Bella stalled.

"Okay, me first," Rosalie volunteered. "Bella, have you ever been to a foreign country?"

"No," Bella responded. _Well that wasn't so bad._

"Edward has," Rosalie quipped. Her casual tone was insincere.

"Yes…I know," Bella said quietly. She hoped this wouldn't turn into a full blown discussion about Edward. She didn't think she could get through it without crying…or worse, breaking down and lamenting about her woes.

"My turn," Alice announced. "Bella, have you ever eaten anything that was still alive?" Both Bella and Rosalie turned to look at her incredulously.

"What kind of a question is that?" Rosalie asked.

"What's wrong with it? I think it would be fascinating to know if Bella ate a live worm or something," Alice defended herself.

"Pick something else, Alice," Rosalie suggested.

"Fine…Bella, have you ever broken a bone?"

"Nope," Bella said as she relaxed against the couch.

"I remember that time Edward broke his…was it his arm or his hand?" Rosalie looked over at Alice.

"His arm," Bella responded unintentionally. "He told me about it once when I was commenting about the big tree in his parents back yard. He said he felt out of the tree and broke his arm."

"Yeah, that's it." Rosalie nodded. "He's lucky it healed right."

It didn't take long before the questions were flying at Bella, one after the other:

_Have you ever held a snake?_

_ Have you ever gotten into a fist fight?_

_ Have you ever been sent home from school?_

_ Have you ever stolen from a store?_

_ Have you ever unintentionally killed a pet?_

Bella answered 'no' to each question, and with each response, Rosalie threw in a few tidbits of trivia about Edward. Unfortunately, Bella didn't learn anything new – it was all information she already knew about.

"You know a lot about Edward, Bella," Rosalie said. "It's like you know every important detail that's ever happened in his life."

Bella offered a weak smile. Maybe she was imagining things, or maybe Rosalie had placed a slight emphasis on the word 'important'.

In addition to being asked very random questions, Bella also doled out a few in return. She asked Rosalie if she'd ever failed a test, and was surprised to learn that Rosalie had failed her driver's license test twice.

Alice was asked if she'd ever been on a scavenger hunt, which resulted in her relaying a story about a time when she was seven, and she went on a scavenger hunt with a Girl Scout troop and got lost and ended up at the police station for hours before anyone even knew she was missing.

"I hate scavenger hunts," she added.

Rosalie feigned a yawn, a signal that she thought the game was a little boring. She threatened to fall asleep if they didn't spice things up a bit. "I bet we're making that quilting bee look like a ton of fun," she said.

Bella didn't quite get the gist of what she meant, but before she could ask for clarification, Alice threw out a question that changed the tone of the game completely.

"Rosalie, have you ever had sex in a public place?"

Bella looked over at Rosalie with wide eyes, half expecting her to tell Alice that her question was inappropriate.

But Rosalie merely returned with, "Public as in out in the open, or public as in other people were present?"

"Either one," Alice shrugged.

"Then, yes. Emmett and I once did it in the car over at Miner's Field." Rosalie seemed proud of herself.

"Okay, Bella have you-"

"No. I've never had sex in a public place…or had sex at all, for that matter."

"Good to know, but that's not what I was going to ask you," Rosalie grinned. "Have you ever said a cuss word?

"No," Bella answered quickly. "I mean, yes. No, I mean no…or wait…do you mean intentionally?"

"Either," Rosalie said.

"Then…yes…"

"Which word?" Alice asked.

Bella looked as if she weren't going to answer for a long while, and then she sheepishly looked up at Rosalie. "Which time?"

That caught Alice and Rosalie off guard and they laughed out loud as if it was the best punch line they'd ever heard.

"Okay, Little-Miss-Foul-Mouth," Alice said between chuckles, "have you ever seen a porno?"

"A what?" Bella asked.

"A porno; a pornographic movie," Alice restated.

But Bella already knew exactly what Alice had meant – she just couldn't believe the question had come up. The _one_ thing she had never told another soul, and Alice touches upon it.

"N-Nothing leaves this room right?" Bella asked nervously as she considered the depth of her answer.

Both Alice and Rosalie leaned forward with raised eyebrows. "Right," they said in unison.

"Well…uh…then, yes. I have," Bella finally answered.

Rosalie looked over at Alice. "Okay, totally wasn't expecting that. There goes my segue."

"It was a long time ago," Bella rushed to explain. "When I was in the eighth grade, a friend and I used to go in her grandparents' basement and watch movies. She wasn't allowed to watch anything that wasn't G-rated, and I wasn't allowed to watch anything at all, so we were both sneaking. Anyway, she grabbed this video and stuck it in the player and it was…well…you know…" Bella trailed off.

"Did you watch the whole thing?" Rosalie asked eagerly.

"Heck no! Are you kidding? It was gross. And it looked like it was filmed in someone's garage."

"Hey, maybe it was a home movie," Alice suggested. "What were the grandparents like?"

"Oh…don't even…"Bella said sickly.

"Well, Bella," Rosalie began as she crossed the room to the large armoire, "Alice and I thought that you'd need some modern material to undo all the damage from that quilting bee…"

She picked up the DVD that she'd sat next to the television and placed it in the DVD player atop the TV. She pressed a few buttons on a remote control and suddenly the room was filled with the sounds high-pitched wails and heavy breathing. "And I'm sure this isn't anything like the bargain basement porn you saw."

"Oh my gosh!" Bella exclaimed before she hid her eyes behind her hands.

"Remember Bella, what happens in the room, stays in the room," Rosalie reminded.

Bella was leery for a long while. She looked everywhere but at the television screen and tried to ignore the mocking commentary that Rosalie and Alice intermittently hurled at the screen.

But the intensity of the sounds emanating from the video was starting to get the best of Bella and she couldn't help but sneak a peek. Shyly she looked on as a man lapped at a woman's nipple with his very long and pointed tongue.

"Why are men so fascinated with breasts," Bella muttered.

"What do you mean?" Rosalie asked.

"I mean, why do guys care so much about them? Why do they always want to touch them and…stuff?" Bella asked.

Rosalie shrugged. "I don't know. But it doesn't bother me."

"Me neither," Alice piped up. "I love it when Jasper is kind of rough and he bites 'em. Sometimes, all he has to do is reach out and pinch a nipple, and I'm ready to go, just like that." Alice turned to find Bella and Rosalie looking at her with raised eyebrows. "What? Was that an overshare?"

Sounds of a very gratified man distracted Bella and Rosalie from answering, and any words Bella had considered speaking quickly died in her throat as her eyes slid over to the television in time to see a woman open her mouth wide enough to envelop the penis of the man standing before her. "Gross," she stated before averting her eyes.

"I know it seems like it would be gross, but really, it's not," Rosalie said.

Bella shivered in disgust. "There's no way I could do that. I'd throw up."

"The first time is kind of difficult, but once you know what to expect, it's not that big a deal and who knows, you might even end up liking it," Alice encouraged.

"You just have to be prepared," Rosalie said.

Bella looked again at the woman spearing her throat with the man's erection. "How the heck are you supposed to prepare yourself for that?"

It was meant to be a rhetorical question; Bella was simply making a point. So when Rosalie disappeared into the small kitchen and returned carrying a banana and a small blue plastic cup, Bella didn't think anything of it. And when Rosalie handed the cup to Bella, Bella simply thought she was giving her a drink, such as tea or water.

So she took a big sip.

And then proceeded to spit it out all over the room.

"What the heck is that?" Bella cried. She grabbed for the flute of apple cider and took a swig to offset the awful concoction Rosalie had given her.

Alice reached over and picked up the offensive cup. She looked inside and then looked over at Rosalie with wide eyes. "Is this…"

"No!" Rosalie rolled her eyes in irritation. "It's a paste of baking soda and water." And then to Bella, she added, "That's exactly what it tastes like."

"Blech!" was Bella's response. She hoped to never find out because the taste that was lingering in her mouth was horrible.

"Bella, think of it as educational. This is what guys like Edward want-," Alice said.

"Guys like Edward?" Bella was put off at the authority in Alice's voice when she mentioned Edward. "How would you know what Edward wants?"

"Well…I'm not saying I specifically know…but just…guys in general," Alice hemmed and hawed. "It's just common knowledge that guys like this kind of thing."

Bella looked down at the floor as she turned Alice's choice of words over and over in her mind. _Common knowledge_. It was just a given that anyone with a clue would know how to please a man. But since _she_ didn't know, that made her…what? Clueless?

"Well, I guess I'm just outside the bell curve then, aren't I?" Bella asked, her tone sharp. "Because, silly me, apparently _I_ am the only person who _doesn't_ know the kind of thing guys like. Apparently, while everyone else was obtaining _common knowledge_ about what it takes to please a man," Bella accentuated her remark with finger quotation marks, "I was stuck in that Cannabean time warp where guys didn't mess around with girls they weren't betrothed to and then forget to mention it when they had the opportunity!"

Rosalie and Alice exchanged weary glances. Alice repetitively made a swiping motion across her neck, signaling Rosalie to turn off the movie that was playing in the background. Rosalie quickly complied.

"Bella," Alice slid closer to Bella and patted her softly on the back before snaking her arm around her shoulders. "Please know that I wasn't saying anything bad about you. I would never do that." She looked over at Rosalie and mouthed the words 'help me'.

Bella felt horrible for the distrustful way she was treating Alice, but she couldn't help it. Everything Alice was saying, everything Alice was doing, put her on edge. And though she couldn't shake the feeling, she couldn't explain them either. And Alice's attempts at pacification only resulted in making Bella feel worse, so she moved away from her, and walked over to the window to stare out at the lawn. A cloud cover had moved in and reduced the vibrant green grass to a dull olive color.

Rosalie came up and stood behind Bella, but she didn't say anything. She just shared Bella's space and silently gazed out the window as well.

In the midst of the silence, Alice got a call from Jasper, asking where she was. He was speaking so loudly that Alice had to hold the phone away from her ear, and when she did so, both Bella and Rosalie could hear him clearly.

Apparently he needed Alice to know that he loved her, that she was the best wife in the world and that he could never live without her.

And so he told her this. Repeatedly.

Alice tried to get him to lower his voice, but to no avail. Finally she told him that she'd be at the winery to pick him up in about fifteen minutes and to sit tight and not call anybody else.

"I have to go get Jasper from work," Alice stated, as if nobody else in the room had just heard their exchange. "He doesn't like to drive after doing quality control on new shipments. The smell of all that wine sometimes gets to him." Alice offered an unnecessary explanation before meekly walking over to the window. "Bella, I'm so sorry if I offended you earlier. I only meant-"

"No, Alice, it's fine," Bella cut her off. "And you didn't offend me. I'm just…overly emotional lately. It's nothing, really. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

Alice's ensuing smile was brimming with relief as she stepped nearer to Bella to give her a hug. "I love you," she whispered as she withdrew.

"Love you, too. And thanks for the party," Bella said. She wished her words sounded more earnest as she said them.

Rosalie's eyes watched Alice as she exited the door and then jogged across the parking lot. Once Alice was halfway out of the parking lot, she turned to face Bella.

"I talked to Edward," she said without beating around the bush.

"I had a hunch" Bella said dimly. Though truthfully, she was a bit surprised. Edward and Rosalie weren't exactly close to one another.

"He called me last night, after you two argued."

Bella suddenly became extremely interested in her fingernails. "Did he tell you what we argued about?" She tried to sound as casual as possible, but the apprehension in her voice betrayed her.

Rosalie let out a soft chuckle. "Silly boy. I had to tell _him_ why you were upset with him. He really didn't have a clue."

"So then you know…about the other girls?" Bella asked bashfully. "And how he didn't tell me about them when I asked him, and on more than one occasion?"

"Well, see, that's the thing. He was actually under the impression that you were mad at him over something that he did when he was sixteen years old, when he was just a hormone-charged idiot with a one-tracked mind.

"But I explained to him a thing or two about us girls. I told him that when we care about someone, _really_ care about them, the idea of that person being with anyone who isn't us really does a number on us, psychologically. We think that every intimate experience he has with us is automatically rated against an experience he's had with someone else; and of course, that other person has always got something we think we don't, never mind that that person is in the past and we're in the present," Rosalie smiled and shook her head. "Jealousy and women. It's a crazy thing, isn't it? I mean, we can't even be rational about things!"

Bella balked at Rosalie. "You think I'm _jealous_? You think I'm upset with Edward for withholding important information because I'm jealous?"

Rosalie simply shrugged. "That's what it sounded like to me when Edward called me up freaking out about it."

"He was freaking out?" Bella was surprised. Edward had seemed dismissive of her feelings, not at all concerned with the fact that Bella had been upset.

"Well…he tried to pretend that he was calling me about something else, but of course it was pretty transparent. Edward rarely calls," Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Anyway, he couldn't understand why someone would want to know something that happened so long ago, basically between two kids. And so the first thing that popped into my head was jealousy. And he said you couldn't possibly be jealous of someone he hasn't seen in almost ten years.

"But he wasn't understanding that jealousy is often rooted in fear. So, I explained to him that maybe you were _afraid_ that he wasn't as in love with you as he says he is. I mean, to everyone who has ever known him, it's clear that you have captured his heart like no other. But, maybe it isn't as obvious to you…"

Bella shifted uncomfortably. She knew what Rosalie was trying to do, with her reverse psychology and non-threatening tactics.

"I'm not jealous," she insisted. "I just think he should have told me that he's had such serious relationships in the past."

"Well, what if they weren't serious?" Rosalie asked.

"If he…"Bella stalled. _These were Edward's secrets. Should she be telling them?_

"Bella, I'm married to Edward's brother, and things weren't always so strained between them. I remember, when Emmett and I had first gotten together, he and his brothers used to get into all sorts of trouble together. And since Edward was the little brother, they used to dare him to do all sorts of crazy things. But none of it was…serious. You know? Emmet wasn't all that innocent when I met him, either."

"And you didn't care?"

"Why should I? It happened before me. What matters is that ever since we've been together, it's just been him and I. It would be ridiculous to hold all that other stuff against him when everything I know of him supports what he tells me: that he loves me and that I'm the one he wants to be with."

"Yes, but, I think…"Bella left off.

"That he still cares for those other girls?" Rosalie finished.

"Well…no."

"That he thinks about them when he's with you?"

"Not exactly."

"That he wishes you were more like them?"

Bella didn't respond for a long while. Then finally, she admitted, "No."

"Bella, it's like that porno you saw with your friend when you were a kid."

"Hey, I wouldn't have told you about that if I knew you were going to use it against me."

"I'm not using it against you, I'm just pointing out that when you're with Edward, you're probably not going to be thinking about that guy in the video, right?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why would you expect him to be thinking of something he saw or did when he was that young?"

"I don't. It's not that…" Bella argued, but her gumption was quickly crumbling.

"Then what is it?"

Instead of answer, Bella returned her attention to the billowing emerald grass and the way no particular shard stood out from any other. And despite the way the wind dipped each individual blade in a dance of its own, it still looked like a large amalgamation of both simplicity and complexity.

Green.

It did _not_ suit her.

"I think…I was jealous…a little."

'*'

Bella felt heavy as she returned to the Cullen home. She stood on the porch for a smattering of minutes, wondering if she should knock or simply let herself in. The Swan's car wasn't in the driveway, which meant that Renee had already returned home. And Renee would never leave Esme to fend for herself… Since Carlisle hadn't yet returned from the hospital, that only left Edward – and after the conversation she'd had with Rosalie, she wasn't quite sure he would even open the door – and she probably wouldn't blame him if he didn't.

Luckily, the door was unlocked, and Bella entered in as if she was simply returning from checking the mail or gathering the newspaper.

As she went up the stairs to look in on Esme, Bella made sure to keep her eyes on her feet, and not on the door of the third room on the right.

Esme was asleep, surrounded by books, magazines and crossword puzzles. To Esme's left, Bella spotted the catalog of wedding gowns she'd been looking at earlier, and she picked it up to allow herself another moment of whimsy. She traced over the image with her fingers, as if she could feel the delicate fabric through the photograph. A small sigh escaped her as she moved to return the catalog to the bedside table.

It was then that she noticed Esme watching her.

"Did you have a nice time?" she asked in a weak whisper. Bella detected a wince and reached over to grab her pain medication and a bottle of water.

"I did. Thank you for…encouraging me to go."

Esme smiled. "Anytime."

"Can I get you anything? A snack? Another pillow?"

Esme waved the offers away. "You're worse than Carlisle with all your fussing. I'm fine," she said. "It's a nice evening. Why don't you go out onto the back deck and enjoy it? It'll probably make you feel better if you do."

"But what if-"

"I've got the intercom on. If I need you, I'll holler."

Bella nodded.

Slowly she ventured down the stairs, through the living room and toward the double glass doors that led out onto the back deck – toward the amber-haired man who was leaning against the railing staring off into the distance, trying, for all intents and purposes, to look as if he wasn't waiting for her.


	24. Chapter 23 LiveIn

_**Live In**__ – A nearly extinct Cannabean practice in which the bride-to-be resides with the family of the groom prior to a wedding. Since the Betrothal Phase is often the shortest phase of the courtship, a live-in is often a short-lived arrangement, however impending brides have been known to dwell with their intended's family for a year or more prior to the wedding._

* * *

Edward shifted his long legs and sighed against the air from where he was seated on the back deck. The evening was cool and still and even the last of the day's birds could be heard as they sung their goodnight tunes.

He stared out over the horizon, as if his mind was actually on the beauty of the landscape instead of how much time had passed between that exact minute and when Bella had left with his sister-in-law. According to his mother, it had been almost four hours ago.

When he'd called Rosalie the night before, Edward had been clear that he simply wanted her to take Bella out and give her a little perspective of what it had been like right before Rosalie had married his brother: what Bella could expect from the Cannabean community, and also what it was like to join the Cullen family.

And though he didn't explicitly state as much to Rosalie, he was sure that if Bella was no longer interested in joining the Cullen family, that would be revealed as well.

But here it was, nearly four hours later, and Edward had heard nary a word from either Rosalie or Bella.

Not wanting to interrupt the girls' time together, Edward had refrained from calling Bella and Rosalie. But that didn't stop him from checking his phone every few moments, or visually inspecting Renee when he briefly chatted with her when he'd arrived home from work. As they conversed lightly, he watched her closely for any sign that she was upset with him or was aware that he and Bella were not presently speaking to one another, but Renee gave no indication of any such thing. Instead, she and Esme fluently conversed in their other language: wedding. The things they spoke about were so over Edward's head – lights in aisle runners, nosegays and numbered centerpieces – that he found himself backing out of the room in a hurry and retreating to his present location.

When he'd heard Renee's voice offer a parting goodbye, Edward was sure it meant that Bella had returned. But after minutes upon minutes of straining to hear some sign of her, Edward heard nothing to signify her presence.

Finally, already admitting defeat before he'd even attempted, Edward pulled out his phone to once again call Bella.

That's when he heard the sound of Rosalie's van in the driveway, and Bella's voice as it carried a farewell to the driver.

He sighed in relief to know that she'd returned safely.

Quickly, Edward stood and moved away from his chair and crossed the space to the deck's railing, where he leaned against it in contemplative casualness. He wondered if Bella was still giving him the silent treatment, which, in his opinion was the epitome of unacceptable. He absolutely hated being ignored.

However, that, is seemed, is exactly what Bella was doing when, twenty minutes later, he still stood on the deck by his lonesome.

He rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. If he was positive that Bella wouldn't cause a scene, or overtly ignore him in front of his mother as she'd done earlier that morning, he would risk another confrontation. But without knowing what she was thinking and feeling about him at that moment, he didn't want to venture a chance. Instead, he tried to make sense of the thoughts swirling around in his head, instructing him to –

Suddenly the doors opened and Edward heard the gentle stride of Bella's steps as she walked over to the deck railing and stood next to him, not too close and not too far away, but enough of a distance that made it difficult for Edward to make a determination as to what it meant.

"Hi." Bella kept her gaze forward, not looking at Edward, or anything else in particular. The darkening sky made it nearly impossible to focus on the tree line beyond them.

"Hello," Edward said softly as he glanced over at her.

"I'm still mad at you," Bella said evenly, but her tone bore no resentment.

"I kind of figured that," Edward said lightly. He tried to smile but it was obvious it would have gone sight unseen.

Just then, Bella turned to face him and it became evident that it was taking everything within her to confront him. "Rosalie thinks I'm jealous," she said.

"Are you?" Edward asked.

Bella shrugged. "I don't like the idea of you being with another woman, so I guess…that makes me jealous."

Edward shook his head. "You're making it sound so much worse than it is. When you say _'being with'_ like that you make it seem as if I…slept with someone. And I didn't."

Bella looked down at the railing, but she didn't respond.

"Wait…you _do_ believe me when I say that I'm a virgin, right?" Edward asked, as if the thought had just occurred to him.

"Edward," Bella sighed. "I don't know _what _to believe. Except for the fact that everyone on the face of the earth seems to know everything about anything, while I sit off on the sidelines wondering what the heck is going on." She looked up at Edward then. "I've been a Cannabean my entire life, and I know things. _Lots_ of things. But suddenly none of them seem at all relevant to my life and this situation. And that was my one comfort, Edward. That you and I were the same in that one area. Because, I know you have most of the answers about everything else, but this was supposed to be _ours._ I know that doesn't mean that much to you, but-"

"Are you kidding me?" It was a question, but Edward didn't wait for an answer. "In regards to my life, it's one of my biggest regrets, Bella. And it's the _one_ thing that has plagued me since the day your dad came to my office to see if I was worthy of you."

"So my father knows," Bella nodded as if she was accepting this for fact.

"No." Edward's gaze was piercing as he tried to decipher what Bella was thinking at that moment.

"So you lied to him as well."

"I didn't lie, Bella. He asked me if I was a virgin and I told him I was, because I am."

Bella returned her interest to the railing and her hands that rested lightly against it.

Silence pressed down around the pair as Edward waited for her to speak. Finally, when it became clear that she had nothing to say, Edward spurred her on. "Bella…say something." His voice showed a fear that he hadn't uncovered thus far.

"Why?" Bella shook her head. "It doesn't matter what I say…it doesn't matter what I do. You'll never be completely honest with me about your past."

"Ask me whatever you want. I vow to you that I will tell you the truth."

Bella visibly stiffened at his words, as if she hadn't expected him to agree to be so forthcoming. Her hair danced lightly in the wind and her fingers strummed nervously against the wood.

"How many girlfriends have you had?" she asked.

"I've been in three committed relationships, and that includes ours," Edward answered quickly.

"Alice?"

Edward nodded. "And then there was a girl, Catherine, that I went out with for two weeks when I was sixteen."

"And she's the one you did all those things with?" Bella asked.

Edward was silent. He knew that answering that question would prove Bella's point to her in her own mind; that he was "mincing" words.

"Bella," he began, "you asked me about girlfriends, and I answered you. But there were girls, who were just as uninterested in having me for a boyfriend as I was in having them as a girlfriend. We each had our own motivations for wanting to experiment in that way with one another."

"How many?" Bella pressed.

"Three."

"That seems to be your number," she said sarcastically.

"So you've never done _anything_ with anyone else? Out of curiosity or-"

"Why is that so hard to accept? Why is it so unfathomable that I have done exactly what I'm supposed to do my entire life and then…" Bella stopped short, and it wasn't until her shoulders began to shake that Edward knew she was crying.

Something about a crying female sent Edward into a tailspin. Even when he and Alice had had their worst, most hurtful conversations, her tears had consistently cut his words short. But even that paled in comparison to how he felt seeing Bella cry.

"Sweetheart," he said softly as he reached out to cup her shoulder. When she didn't shake him off, he pulled her to him and held her against his chest. He rested his chin atop her head and stroked her hair with his fingertips. "This is why I didn't want to do this. I don't want you to be upset."

"No," Bella sniffed and wrangled herself away from him. "I told you. I don't like surprises. I want everything between us to be out in the open. I want to know the man I'm marrying."

"I'm still _me,_ Bella. I told you a long time ago that I strayed for awhile. I just didn't go into detail," Edward said.

"And was that for my benefit or for yours?" Bella looked up at him through tear-soaked lashes.

_For yours._ He almost said it, but it would have been a lie. And apart from knowing that, he knew that Bella knew it to.

"I want to be worthy of you, Bella. I really do. But…I was a stupid kid. I didn't think about the far-reaching consequences of what I was doing at the time. I was a young punk trying to prove to my older brothers that I had what it took to keep up with them.

"But I always harbored so much guilt over the things that I did that any pleasure I derived from it wasn't even worth it. If it's any consolation, Bella, I didn't fully give myself to any woman because I knew that there was someone very special I was saving that for. I'm sorry if that's not enough…"

"That's the first time you've said you're sorry…for any of it," Bella said.

Edward pshawed incredulously. "You don't think I'm sorry? You don't think that I've dreaded this subject since the day we met? You don't think I'd take on hell a thousand times just to take it all back?"

"All I know is that you told me I was overreacting, that I shouldn't care about something that happened so long ago and that _I _was being unfair to _you," _Bella reminded him.

Edward sighed in anguish. "I just meant that I would never hold something against you that you'd done so long ago."

"Even if I slept with someone?"

"I didn't sleep with anyone!" Edward raised his voice. "How many times do I have to tell you that? Or are you telling me that you don't believe me?"

"Okay, well, then what if I'd done exactly what you'd done. You wouldn't care?"

Edward couldn't help but notice that Bella hadn't actually answered his question. However, he was exhausted from the rift that had crept between them and he wanted to do all that he could to get in her good graces again. Unfortunately, it looked as if he'd have to implicate himself greatly in order to do just that.

"I wouldn't be _happy_ about it, but I certainly wouldn't break our betrothal over it," Edward answered.

"Who said anything about breaking the betrothal?" Bella answered in a small voice. "I'm upset, Edward and yes, I want some answers, but everything doesn't have to be so dire…so permanent."

"You ran out of the house and you wouldn't speak to me. What am I supposed to think?" Edward asked.

"Maybe that I'm really upset and I need to sort things out before I can interact with you," Bella answered.

Edward shook his head. "I can't handle the silent treatment, Bella. You can rant and scream and even throw things if you want. But don't shut me out like that. Please," Edward begged. "My mind concocts all kinds of horrible scenarios that render me completely unproductive."

Bella contemplated his words for a moment. "And I can't handle being lied to. It makes me feel small and insignificant. It makes me feel like you don't care."

"But I do care, Bella. And that's why I didn't want to go into detail. I don't want you to look at me and see all those past indiscretions. I don't want to see how I feel about myself reflected on your face every time I look at you." Edward's hands tugged at the insides of his pockets in frustration. "I guess I was being selfish."

"And I feel that not knowing what those indiscretions were makes it all the more difficult to disregard them."

"Bella, truly you must know that I don't have to tell you, right? I can decide that I think it's within your best interest not to know," when he saw the fire in Bella's eyes at that comment, he quickly added, "but I understand that in order to make peace between us, I need to consider your feelings, and you feel that you need to know the specifics in order to move forward…so…I've kissed girls-"

"What kind of kisses?" Bella interrupted.

"On the mouth."

"Did you use your tongue?"

"Sometimes."

"So the same way you've kissed me, you've kissed those other girls?"

"No, Bella, not the same. For starters, I was an awkward teenager who had no idea what he was doing. And you and I have a much deeper connection than I had with any of those girls. What we do together is much more meaningful."

"What else?" Bella asked, momentarily shelving Edward's 'speech' on deeper connections.

"Well we…touched each other."

"Where?"

"Everywhere, I guess."

"Over clothes or underneath?"

"Underneath."

"That's all? You just used your hands?"

Edward eyed Bella out of the corner of his eye. _Could he simply get away with answering that question with a simple yes, or would she want more detail_? He shuddered at the possibility of it.

"Yes," he attempted.

"The way you touched me?"

"Uh…there was a little more to it."

"Like what?" Bella had her eyes closed, and Edward could tell that she wasn't enjoying this anymore than he was.

"I fingered them…uh, that's when you-"

"I know what it is, Edward," Bella said curtly. "Is that all?"

"No," Edward stood up straighter. "There was…oral sex."

Bella gasped and brought her fingertips to her lips. Edward frowned as he looked over at her, not understanding why that would be a bigger deal to her than all the other things.

"That's really…intimate…" Bella whispered.

"It didn't seem that way at the time," Edward admitted.

"To be that close to a woman's…"

"I didn't," Edward stammered. "It was done to me. I didn't do it to anyone."

Edward noticed Bella's eyes slip below his belt line.

"Is that what you want from me?"

"I don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with."

"But you…liked it?"

"It was… pleasurable."

"So if I don't do it, and you like it, you're going to think about those other women, and what you did with them."

"That couldn't be further from the truth," Edward said, finally able to see that Bella's issue with his past was more about herself than it was about him. "Even without any of that other physical stuff, nobody else holds a candle to you. What I've found in you is so much more than even a fraction of what I've experienced with anyone else. And since the day you've come into my life, my eyes can't even focus on another woman. Your hair, your eyes, your soft skin, your lips," Edward stepped closer and touched each part as he spoke of it. "I mean it, Bella. My heart, mind and body know you're the only one for me. They respond to no other."

"You say that now…"

"And I'll mean it always," Edward said, coming up from behind her and wrapping his arms around her.

He felt her body respond as she leaned into him, but instead of speak or touch, she held herself stiffly and faced the wind. She was still unsure.

"It's okay if you don't believe me now," Edward whispered into her ear. "I plan to spend every moment of the rest of my life proving it to you."

"Oh, Edward," Bella whimpered, as if that was exactly what she needed to hear. It was evident that she _wanted_ to trust him, but his actions had made that difficult for her. He knew that now, and he now understood why she wanted an apology – for breaking that trust.

"I _am_ sorry for what I did…"

"Not what you did, Edward. For not telling me," Bella rotated in his arms to face him. "I just want you to be honest with me."

Edward nodded and dipped his head down to kiss Bella on the lips. When she was receptive to him, he deepened the kiss. Bella matched the movement of his lips with her own; she tightened her hold around his waist until she finally broke away and rested her cheek against his sternum. Together they stood swaying softly to the rhythm of their reconciliation.

"Please forgive me," Edward whispered.

"Forgiven," Bella returned.

'*'

Later that evening, Carlisle returned home from the hospital to find Edward and Bella snuggled up on the couch looking through the local newspaper.

"Hey, kids," he smiled. When he caught Edward's eye, he winked and Edward took that to mean that he had been aware that everything would work out with Bella all along. "How's Mom?"

"She's sleeping," Edward answered.

"There's dinner if you're hungry," Bella offered. "I could make a plate for you if you'd like."

Carlisle looked as if he wanted to say no, he really did, but the hunger written all over his face contradicted him. "I meant to grab something at the hospital, but by the time I made it down to the cafeteria, they were closed."

Before he could get that sentence all the way out, Bella was up and in the kitchen. Edward and his father could hear her opening and closing cabinet doors from where they sat in the living room.

"So," Carlisle reached over and tapped Edward on the leg. "Everything seems to be good with you two."

"Yeah," Edward grinned. "We're good."

"Set a date yet?"

"We're working on it."

Actually, setting a date for the wedding was only one of the things he and Bella needed to work out. A place to live was in the number one slot, and Edward felt fortunate that his father wasn't giving him a hard time about that. After finally mentioning that his home had simply 'fallen out of escrow', Carlisle had feigned a mock of pity and then moved on to talking about the weather's effect on the vineyard.

The conversation between the two men was interrupted by the soft clink and clank of earthenware and silverware as Bella set a place for Carlisle at the table. Carlisle again winked at Edward before nodding his appreciation in Bella's direction. "Thank you."

Renee had made the meal, but that didn't stop Edward from basking in a feeling of pride as he watched his father enjoy what Bella had put before him. He realized that he simply liked being in her presence, in his home, without the time clock ticking. Because he knew his father had to be back at the hospital at an ungodly hour for surgery, which meant Bella was staying – and he liked that idea. A lot.

"*"

Edward and Bella finally said goodnight in the doorway of the guestroom she was occupying. It didn't escape Edward that his mother had directed her to a room that was on the other side of their bedroom, so each time he or Bella went in or out, they'd have to pass by his parents' room. Not that he was planning on spending the night in Bella's room.

Well…not the whole night anyway.

After tossing and turning for a fair amount of time, Edward got up to go to the bathroom, something he rarely did in the middle of the night, and then softly patted down to Bella's room. He didn't really have a plan for what he was going to do once he got there, he just wanted to check on her…see her, simply because he could.

Only Bella wasn't in her room. If it weren't for the unmade bed, Edward would have thought that she'd went back to her parents' house the moment she thought everyone else was asleep. The room was quiet and stark in its emptiness.

Bare feet tapped against the aged oak floors as Edward crept down the stairs in search of his beloved. As stealthily as possible, Edward went from room to room in the vast house hoping to find Bella without scaring her half to death.

It didn't take long to realize that Bella wasn't anywhere on the first floor of the house, and unless she was in the basement, Edward figured that they'd probably just missed one another and she was probably already back in her room.

It was when he was on his way back up the stairs that Edward caught a glimpse of wind-tickled fabric though the gauzy cloth of the curtains across the french doors. He inched forward to get a better view and saw that he'd found Bella. She was standing on the back deck wrapped in a blanket and facing the wind as if it was challenging her.

"It's freezing out here," Edward said in announcement of his presence.

Bella was startled by the sound of his voice and jumped at the timbre. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were still awake."

"I peeked in on you to make sure you were okay," Edward said. "But you weren't there."

Bella smiled guiltily. "Yeah…I couldn't sleep."

Edward's brow furrowed at her news. "Something wrong?"

The impish smile never left Bella's face, but she looked away from Edward and shrugged.

"What is it?" he pried, aware that whatever it was, it was something she didn't want to share.

"You'll laugh," she told him.

"I won't. I promise." But just knowing Bella thought her secret was amusing made it difficult for Edward to keep a smile off his face.

"Well…" Bella hesitated. "For as long as I can remember…this is the farthest from my parents I've been overnight." Bella looked uncomfortable about the words she spoke truthfully. "I just couldn't sleep."

"Homesick?" Edward asked.

Bella shook her head. "No, nothing like that. It's more…I just can't get comfortable. Not that the bed isn't wonderful," she quickly added.

"You've never spent a night away from home?" Edward asked.

"I stayed with my grandparents a few times, but they lived on the same property. If I needed to feel close to my parents, I'd just look out the window. My dad always left the porch light on so I could see the front door." Bella smiled, shamefully, up at Edward. "I'm sure he's got it on right now, even though I'm too far away to see it."

"I'm sorry you're uncomfortable," Edward said, wrapping his arm around her. He didn't quite know what else to do or say. For all the issues he expected to come up after they were married, he never expected separation anxiety to be one of them.

Bella leaned into him and buried her face against the crook of his arm. "I'm such a coward," she said.

"No you're not. I'm sure many people who aren't used to staying away from home feel unsettled on the first night," Edward comforted.

Bella shook her head and burrowed deeper against Edward. "That's not what I meant." She let out a gusty sigh. "I guess missing home isn't the main reason I'm out here." She took a tiny step back so that she could look at Edward's face, but as soon as their eyes met, she looked away. "I wasn't completely honest earlier. When you asked me if there was anything I'd done…I knew what you meant, but I didn't want to say…"

Even before his mind completely comprehended the words, Edward felt his body reacting to what Bella had said. She had a secret. There was something inappropriate in her past that she had been ashamed to share. And though he knew exactly how she felt, as he'd been in her shoes for so long, Edward couldn't help the terror that gripped him. However, what he couldn't reconcile was whether that feeling of terror came from what she might say, or how he might react to it.

"…I've seen a pornographic movie…more than once... and a magazine. When you asked me if I've ever seen a…you know…man's body, I said 'theoretically'. That's what I meant." Her eyes met Edward's once again. "I'm sorry, Edward. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, but I didn't think it was something you'd want to know. I was fourteen at the time…but I realized I was being a hypocrite…and then when Rosalie put on that movie, well…I guess I've seen another one."

"Rosalie showed you a porno?" Edward asked in surprise. "When?"

"Yesterday. When she and Alice took me to dinner and then…"

"Alice was there?" Edward asked incredulously.

Bella looked up at him suddenly. "You didn't know?"

Edward shook his head. "No. Rosalie said that she wanted to take you out for a welcome-to-the-family celebration, but I thought she meant just you and her. I had no idea she'd bring Alice along." He looked over at Bella warily. "How was that?"

"To be honest…it was a little weird. I mean, not being with Rosalie, but because you and I weren't speaking-"

"_I_ was speaking. You weren't," Edward corrected.

"Yes, well, anyway," Bella rushed on, "I felt like a fraud talking about wedding stuff as if everything was fine between us."

"Rosalie knew you were upset with me," Edward admitted.

"I figured that out," Bella glanced over at him. "And that was a little weird as well. I didn't know you and Rosalie…talked."

"We don't. At least we didn't. But when you wouldn't talk to me, I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't talk to my mom about it and my dad was already thinking the worst. Anyway, I panicked and called Rosalie."

Bella wrinkled her nose in confusion. "That's not odd to you? That you go from hardly speaking to someone to calling them with a problem?"

"It wasn't like that," Edward defended himself. "Rosalie had come over earlier in the week and asked me if she could take you out – sort of like a bachelorette party. Anyway, I said 'no way'. But then, after you left that night, and then wouldn't return my phone calls, I…jumped to a few conclusions. I was certain that you were going to ask your father to break everything off – and when you wouldn't talk to me, I couldn't tell what you were thinking, I couldn't reason with you…so I called Rosalie and told her I thought it would be a good idea if she took you out as sort of a pre-wedding celebration. I intentionally didn't use the word bachelorette party, though."

"But that's not what you wanted at all. You wanted her to feel me out…find out what I was planning to do." Bella called him out on his charade.

"Oh don't think that she didn't see right through me," Edward admitted. "But I didn't care. I was desperate."

"I wish you hadn't," Bella looked up at Edward fleetingly. "Told Rosalie what happened between us," she clarified. "I thought it was kind of private, and for you to have shared it with her…when it took you so long to share it with _me…_" Bella hinted, neglecting to finish.

"I didn't tell Rosalie anything she didn't already know, Bella," Edward said. "My brother has taken it upon himself to point out every improper thing I've ever done whenever he gets an opportunity. I just got her perspective on the situation…since you wouldn't give me yours." Edward stilled a sigh and stepped closer to Bella. _How had they gotten here again? He'd thought they'd put their differences behind them._ "I don't want to argue anymore," Edward reiterated.

"Of course not," Bella said as if she hadn't realized that that was what they were doing. She allowed her hands to drift up to Edward's and buried her icy fingertips under his warm skin. "I just thought that since we were being honest, I'd let you know how I was feeling about everything."

"Well I won't share anything else that happens between us with anyone else," Edward said. "I promise." He held up two fingers, a Boy Scout sign for honor, and mimicked an innocent child.

Bella couldn't help but chuckle. "And I promise to talk to you instead of give you the silent treatment when we argue...even if all I have to tell you is that I'm too upset to talk to you right then."

"That's all I ask," Edward smiled. His head neared Bella's and she leaned the rest of the way in to encounter his kiss. "I'm so glad you're here," he exhaled into her mouth.

"Me, too," she agreed.

"I want you with me always," Edward whispered.

"And that's exactly where I want to be," Bella responded.

Edward knew that Bella spoke of the position of their relationship – as his betrothed, she would be, rightfully, by his side. But Edward's words held a much less symbolic meaning. He liked having her near him, in his house, and now that he'd experienced it, he didn't ever want the distance between them again. But before he said anything to Bella about his plan, he knew it had to be approved by a higher authority first…

"A live-in?" Carlisle crinkled up his nose when Edward mentioned the idea to him the following morning over coffee. "That's a little…archaic, Edward. Even for you," his father added with a smile.

"I think it would be very beneficial for us," Edward argued. "And it's a Cannabean custom. It's practical."

"It's an _old_ Cannabean custom that was practiced mainly when the bride-to-be's family lived too far away for a reasonable courtship." Carlisle looked at Edward in smug amusement. "You're not the only one who knows their Cannabean history."

"So you're saying no then? You'd be opposed to Bella staying with us?"

Carlisle sighed. "Edward, you haven't even set a date for the wedding. I'm not going to permit you and Bella to play house under my roof simply because things aren't moving as quickly as you'd like."

"You make it sound like I don't want to get married," Edward protested. "I do. But you and I both know that there is a lot that has to be done before that can happen."

"Like finding a place to live." Carlisle reminded Edward about his lack of residence.

"True," Edward rushed over that issue for the time being, "and my work schedule is going crazy because I'm trying to firm up some overseas suppliers so that I don't have to travel so often after the wedding. There's going to be more than a few long days coming up." Edward looked at his father with an earnest expression on his face. "It's just that last night, Bella and I had the chance to have a discussion right when we needed to, not one or two days later due to curfews and courtesies. The difference having her here made…it was amazing. And that was only one instance."

"She's already agreed to stay during your mother's recovery period, Edward. That's six weeks," Carlisle reminded him.

"I know, and that's why I'm talking to you about this now. After six weeks it'll be like starting over to have her go back. And I have to prepare for a meeting and trip to Amsterdam in two months. We could really use the time, Dad."

Carlisle did not look convinced in the least. However, within certain parameters, he saw no harm in Edward's plan. "Six weeks," he restated. "If, after that, I see progress in the relationship and a clear path to a wedding, aka, a date, then I will entertain the idea of a more permanent arrangement."

Before Edward could celebrate a victory, Carlisle had a few more words for his son. "But, Edward, you have to realize that while Bella is here, she is our responsibility – mine and your mother's. You aren't going to have free reign at your convenience."

Edward balked at that sentiment, as if he were offended. "I know that."

"I mean it, Edward." Carlisle's voice turned warning. "I'm happy that you and Bella had a nice talk, but you can't be together at all hours of the night like that. Just because it's permissible, it's not necessarily profitable."

Edward frowned.

"I don't want the two of you getting into any trouble, Edward." Carlisle raised his eyebrows to emphasize his insinuation.

"Dad, that's not going to happen."

"Edward, you're young, newly in love and experiencing a new modicum of freedom. It happens, but not on my watch and not in my house. Are we clear?"

Edward nodded as he checked his watch. "I have to get to work," he said, standing up.

Bella came down the stairs just then; a concentrated look on her face disappeared as soon as she saw Edward. Her countenance brightened under her smile.

"Good morning," she said softly.

"Good morning, Sweetheart," Edward said before leaning down to kiss her chastely on the lips. "Did you sleep well?"

She nodded and thumbed behind her toward the staircase. "I was just going to do a load of laundry but…how do you work the washing machine? I didn't want to bother your mother."

"She seems to be the only one that knows how to work that contraption," Carlisle smirked as he passed by on his way to retrieve his car keys. "Sorry I couldn't be of more help."

Edward had had one or two go-arounds with that washing machine, but it usually resulted in his mother coming to his rescue. Still, he offered his limited knowledge to Bella and together they ascended the stairs toward the laundry room.

"Is everything okay?" Bella asked quietly as she watched Edward push button after button on the control panel with no success.

"What do you mean?" he looked over his shoulder at her. The distress in her voice tipped him off that she wasn't asking about his progress with the appliance.

"I wasn't eavesdropping, but I could hear you and your father this morning. Not what you were saying, but how you were saying it. It sounded…intense."

"Oh, yeah. I need to talk to you about that."

"I knew it," Bella said apologetically. "It was something I did, wasn't it? What happened?"

Edward smiled and shook his head. "Relax, Bella. It was nothing like that." Edward gave up on the washing machine and turned around to lean against it as he faced Bella. "It was about what I told you last night. About not wanting you to leave."

"Oh?"

"I want you to stay here, Bella, until the wedding. But I had to know if my father was even okay with it before I asked you. I didn't want to tell you one thing, only to have my father decide something completely different."

"Live here?" Bella asked. "Until the wedding?"

"Well, that's what _I_ wanted, but my father had another plan…and it sounds like you're not too excited about the idea after all?"

"What was your father's plan?" Bella asked inconclusively.

"He's uncomfortable with the fact that we haven't set a date for the wedding, and that we don't have a house yet, so he wants to see more progress before he agrees to anything beyond the six weeks that you're already going to be here."

Bella nodded pensively.

"So as you can see," Edward said, "it's really more about what I haven't done, than anything you've done."

Bella was looking down at the floor and for a moment, Edward wondered what held her attention down there. But when she began to speak, without removing her gaze, he knew that something was still bothering her.

"My mother is going to have a very hard time with the idea of me never coming back." Her voice was so small and mellifluous that Edward barely heard her. "She wanted me to come here for the six weeks to help your mother and to bond with the family, but…it's the little things she'll miss that I know she's not ready to let go of."

"Like what?" Edward asked, stalling the inevitable, which was Bella saying that _she_ didn't want to stay beyond six weeks.

"Like having all of my stuff out of the house, or my not getting ready for the wedding in their house…my first wedding dress fitting…"

Edward was momentarily distracted by the way Bella's face contorted into a grimace when she mentioned her wedding dress.

"Why'd you say it like that?" he asked.

"Say what like what?" Bella asked.

"When you mentioned your wedding dress you made a face."

"Oh." Bella glanced behind her as if someone besides Edward could hear what she had to say. "Just…don't hold the wedding dress against me. I promise, I had nothing to do with it."

"What's wrong with the dress?" Edward looked worried. He thought the dress was supposed to be one of the highlights of the wedding for most women. Lord knows Rosalie made a big enough fuss over hers that even he knew about it.

"Nothing's _wrong_ with the dress, per se," Bella stated slowly. "It's just…old. It was my mother's and she's really excited about me wearing it…"

"But you're not excited."

Edward watched as Bella shook her head slowly, a guilty expression perched on her face.

"Well, then tell her you don't want to wear the dress," Edward said easily.

"I can't do that," Bella stated as if her reason was obvious. "She's already sent it back to Montana to be altered. And you didn't see the look on her face. She is really looking forward to this."

Edward didn't understand at all. If his father had worn one of those powder blue tuxedos to his own wedding and then had wanted to pass it down to Edward for some sort of tradition, Edward couldn't imagine himself hesitating to tell his father that there was no way he was going to wear something so hideous.

"Bella, it's nice to be accommodating to others, but there does come a time when it's more appropriate for you to assert your own preferences. You should have a dress that you want. Your mom chose her dress for her wedding and you should choose your own dress for our wedding. I don't want you to look back on this day, or at our wedding pictures and only see a dress that you thought was ugly."

"That's not what I'll think," Bella said unconvincingly.

"You deserve to take ownership of this, Bella, apart from your mother's feelings."

Just when Edward had thought he'd gotten through to Bella, she let out a giggle and looked over at him mischievously.

"What?" Edward asked.

"Nothing," Bella shrugged. "I was just thinking that you should take your own advice, maybe."

"In what way?"

Bella looked down at her hands and inspected the cuticle on her thumb as she spoke. "About your land."

"Bella," Edward closed his eyes in frustration. "It's not the same thing."

"I think it is."

Edward knew that it was only a matter of time before this issue came up again. It was obvious to him how Bella felt about the land, and even though she didn't say much to him about it, he knew what her desire was in its regard.

"The land is a source of strife and contempt in my family," Edward began.

"That's really how you see it?" Bella interrupted.

"What other way _can_ I see it?"

"Edward, that land signifies your family's unity. Separate, it's just a bunch of trees and fields, but together, it's a community of Cullens that love and support one another. It holds your history and your future, the good and the bad.

"And I'm not telling you this because I want to stay on the land. Edward, I'll go wherever you go, but I don't want you to give up your land because you're accommodating someone else's preferences. You were given the same opportunity as your brothers. They chose their lot for their homes, and you should get to choose your lot for your home," Bella used Edward's own words to explain her point.

"It's not that easy," Edward shook his head in disagreement. "The minute I start building on that land again, they'll-"

"You deserve to take ownership of this, Edward, apart from your bothers' feelings."

"Just because you're using my words, it doesn't mean they hold the same meaning," Edward told her. Truthfully, it was beginning to irritate him, but that may have had something to do with the fact that she was right.

"You love the land, Edward," Bella whispered.

"I do, and I know you do, too, but I know what will happen if we build there. My brothers will-"

"Will have no more or less than they do right now." Bella concluded. "It's already yours, Edward. How they feel about it doesn't change that."

Edward looked into Bella's eyes and he saw the hope that resided there. It was the same look his parents wore whenever he checked on the perimeter of his acreage to make sure it was fire safe, when he paid his property taxes, or when he simply took a stroll to admire the view. They wanted this for him, as did Bella. And if he afforded himself the luxury of being honest, he'd have to admit that it was also what he wanted.

"I'll think about it," Edward relented. His eyes moved from Bella's to the digital clock that rested on a shelf near a stack of clean towels. He might have been noting how many minutes he had before the opening of the stock market or the chronological moment that his dreams took flight again.

The latter. It was definitely the latter.

* * *

Want to read about the Prom with Tutorward and his Bella? Or how about a flash forward into the future when Bella gives birth…is it a boy or girl?

Or perhaps you prefer a ringside seat to what went down between Cannabean Edward and Alice those years ago…or maybe a glimpse of Edward when he decided to take a little detour from the Cannabean Way.

If none of those options are of interest to you, you might want to experience Anthony's point of view of his first day in Forks, or maybe the night he spent with Jasper and Alice, or maybe something he saw when nobody thought he was watching…

Or maybe there was one sentence in any one of those three stories that really stuck with you and you'd like to see it played out in a 5000+ word one-shot. All you have to do is bid Team ItzMegan for FGB Eclipse to make that one wish a reality!

Also, stay tuned for information on the Trailer Trash Cullen Contest. For more information email 2010ttcc 'at'


	25. Chapter 24 Family Planning

**Family Planning. **_Near the end of the Betrothal Phase, the near-matrimonial couple begin to address the issue of their own family, outside of the one they've known their whole life. They discuss boundaries, expectations and desires regarding those things they have control over, and those things they don't. _

* * *

Bella's mouth hung open in shocked amazement as she leaned forward to get a better look. Her body was perched on the edge of Esme's bed and her fingers clutched at the bedspread expectantly. No sound was being emitted from her – not even the in and out rasps of her breathing.

"I can't look," she said frantically as she turned away. "It's going to be bad, I just know it!"

"No, you can't look away now! It's the best part!" Esme insisted.

Edward chose that moment to appear in his mother's bedroom doorway, only to find Bella cowering behind her hands, and Esme looking over at her with a mischievous grin on her face. His eyes followed Bella's across the room to see the source of her discomfort.

"Oh not the Food Network Challenge again," Edward rolled his eyes. "Is this the Dr. Seuss cake episode?"

"She's never seen it before," Esme stated defensively.

"That's because Bella doesn't watch television," Edward responded.

At that statement, Bella tore her eyes away from the screen and looked over at Edward. He knew that her father did not allow television in his home, but the Cullens watched television, and since she was a guest in their home…surely he wasn't upset that she had allowed Esme to introduce her to the interesting, awe-inspiring, entertaining and gut-wrenching experience known as the Food Network Challenge.

"I should start dinner," Bella said. She had only watched one episode – well one and a half. When she'd come in to check on Esme and saw the beautiful confectionary art on the screen, she couldn't stop staring, and Esme was all too eager to indulge her. But time had passed excessively fast. Edward was already home from work and Bella hadn't even considered what she'd be able to prepare for that evening's meal.

As Bella made her way down the stairs and toward the kitchen, she heard Edward's steady gait behind her, and she braced herself for what he would say once they were alone.

"I'm sorry," she said without turning to look at him.

"For?" his tone was wondering, and he didn't sound upset at all.

"The television," Bella answered. "I haven't been watching all day. It was just on in your mother's room, and I was watching and…"

"Bella, I should be apologizing to you. My mom is overboard with her love of that show. She ropes anyone she can into watching it. Just be lucky there wasn't a marathon on," Edward chuckled.

"I didn't mind it," Bella admitted. In fact, it was quite the opposite. She _loved_ the television. And after watching a while with Esme, she didn't quite understand her father's aversion to it. There were some wonderfully educational programs that didn't at all seem illicit. Yet, her father _did_ disapprove – something Bella knew Edward was aware of. Therefore, it was more than a little disconcerting that he had come home to find her being willfully disobedient.

"I didn't know what to do," Bella continued. "Your mother wanted me to see one of the cakes, and this is her house, and I'm supposed to be tending to her…but…"

Edward seemed nervous as he leaned up against the counter and faced her. His eyes were on the ingredients that Bella had removed from their respective areas around the kitchen, but she could tell that he was focused on her.

"This is proving to be very hard on you, isn't it…being here?" he asked.

"No! Of course not," Bella stated quickly. "It's just that I know you know how my father feels about television, and I didn't want you to think that I-"

"I know how your father feels about television in _his_ house," Edward grinned. "And while he is certainly within his right to ban it in his home, I don't think it's really relevant anymore."

"What are you saying? You don't mind if I watch it?" Bella asked.

Edward shrugged. "Why should I? I watch television," he said. "I mean, not just anything, but there are a lot of shows that are fine."

Bella looked contemplative for a moment. There was an iota of freedom being dangled in front of her, but she was wary of taking advantage of it. "My father would probably be pretty upset about that."

"Which is why I wouldn't recommend discussing it with him," Edward held up his hands to stall an interruption by Bella. "I'm not suggesting that we be dishonest, but it goes without saying that we're probably going to do things a little differently than how your dad would do them. And even though that's to be expected, we don't need to go throwing it in his face. There's a lot of stuff I have no problem doing, but I wouldn't do in front of your father." When Bella looked puzzled, Edward leaned in and kissed her. And when she received him, he deepened the gesture, softly stroking her tongue with his. "Like that, for instance," he said. Then he slid his hands across her waist, down her hips and slowly over her backside. "And definitely not that."

Gooseflesh and heat covered Bella's cheeks at Edward's action. His point made, Edward dropped his hands after giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek and stepped back to silence the sizzle between them.

Bella cleared her throat and attempted to steady her breathing and heartbeat. "So…um, you're going to let your children watch television?" Bella asked as if her body wasn't burning with desire.

"You mean _our_ children?" Edward smirked.

The prominent blush that coated her face now rushed to color the rest of her skin as it passed from the tips of Bella's ears, down toward her neck. Though it was an innocent response from Edward, thinking of them sharing children catapulted Bella's mind to the act of _conceiving_ said children. And from the simmering glance that Edward was giving her, Bella could tell that he was thinking about the same exact thing.

As a distraction, Bella returned her attention to the task at hand – making dinner. She had the necessary ingredients for a side dish, but no main meal.

"I should have gone to the grocery store hours ago," Bella said softly, still a little concerned that Edward had been able to read her thoughts on her face as she had been able to read his.

She heard his car keys jingling behind her and she turned to see that he was holding them out for her to procure.

"You could take my car if you need to go now," he offered.

"Oh…no…thanks, but…" Bella shook her head quickly. Edward's car was extremely intimidating. All those buttons and levers… not to mention the expense of it. She'd never forgive herself if she scratched it, or worse. "I wouldn't feel comfortable driving your car."

"It's just a car, Bella," Edward said, though he didn't pressure her. "But I can drive you if you'd like."

"But you just got home," Bella reminded him. "Aren't you tired?" She thought of her father and how he never liked to go anywhere when he'd just gotten home from work. She didn't want Edward to feel obligated to chauffer her around if he was exhausted.

"No, I'm fine," Edward said. "Let's go."

Bella hastened to check on Esme and make sure she was comfortable before jetting off to the grocery store with Edward.

As Edward expertly glided over the road in his car, Bella silently reassured herself that she could never drive such a confusing machine. He didn't even use a key to start it!

Inconspicuously, she watched him operate the vehicle. His nimble fingers skimming over the leather steering wheel, his long legs gracefully folded into the driver's chamber, while his feet fluidly worked the gas and brake pedals. His repetitive motions were soothing, and Bella felt herself being lulled into a comfortable feeling of security. Her eyes lifted to view his face, and though he was watching the road, there was a hint of a smile on his lips that clued Bella in to the fact that he knew he was being watched.

A matching smile appeared on her face as she turned away and observed the small downtown area come into view.

"How many children do you want?" she asked suddenly without looking at him. It was a throwback to the conversation they'd been having in the kitchen when she'd inquired as to whether or not he'd allow his children to watch television.

"Three," Edward answered solidly, as if he'd just answered the same question minutes before.

"Three?" Bella turned to look at him.

"Yes," Edward looked concerned for a moment. "Why? Is that too many?"

An image of the O'Malley's, a young couple in Montana who'd given birth to a set of triplets one year after they'd gotten married, flashed through Bella's mind. The idea of three children in diapers nearly sent her into a panic attack.

"No…as long as they're well spaced out," she answered. Years of babysitting had taught her early on that one child in diapers was enough. "It's better than only having one," she added.

"You didn't like being an only child?" Edward asked.

"Not really," Bella admitted. "But not for the obvious reasons. I had more of an issue when I realized my kids wouldn't have any aunts, uncles or cousins from my side of the family…stuff like that."

Edward didn't respond to Bella's admission for a long while. She figured the conversation was settled, but as they pulled into a parking spot, Edward's failure to move after shutting off the car signaled that he had more to say.

"Bella, I hope it's not terribly insensitive of me to ask," the look on his face as he pivoted to look at her was fearful and uncomfortable.

She felt her insides tremble in anticipation of his question. _What could be considered terribly insensitive?_

"Do you know if you can get pregnant? I mean…like…is everything functioning normally in that way?" he asked awkwardly.

Bella thought of Alice and her inability to conceive children and immediately knew why Edward was asking. Nonetheless, she clarified this with him. "You're asking because of Alice, aren't you?"

Edward's face wrinkled in indignation. "No," he scoffed. "There's nothing wrong with Alice in that way."

"But she said-"

"She's covering for my brother. She's _always_ covering for my brother," Edward said in disgust. "If he'd stop drinking so much then maybe he'd stop shooting blanks." Edward misunderstood the astonished expression on Bella's face. "Oh…sorry. I just meant that…drinking could adversely affect stuff like that."

"Your brother's…an _alcoholic_?" Bella whispered the last word.

Edward shrugged. "You're not going to get anyone in my family but me to admit it. My father just says he has 'temporary lapses in judgment' at times and my mother…well look at the job she has him doing for the vineyard. She's in total denial."

"But Alice wants a baby _so_ badly. Surely she'd say something to Jasper if that was all that was keeping them from starting a family."

Edward shook his head. "Alice is in denial too. They all are." Edward moved to steer the conversation back onto its intended path. "So, anyway, that's not why I was asking. We've just…never talked about that kind of thing. And I don't have to tell you how rare it is for Cannabean couples to only have one child, so I was just wondering if maybe there was a health history or something…"

Bella nodded as Edward winded down his question. "No, I think that's a very valid question," she said to ease his mind. "My mom did almost die having me, which is why I don't have any brothers or sisters, but it wasn't from a hereditary condition."

"What was it?" Edward asked with concern.

"It's called an AVM. It's basically a collection of abnormal blood vessels. My mom has one on her brain. She didn't even know she had it until the stress of trying to give birth to me caused her to have a stroke. That's when the doctor's found it. Needless to say, I've been screened. I don't have it," Bella said.

"Thank goodness for that," Edward said, looking relieved. "I'd hate to be worried that something could happen to you during birth. From what I've seen, it's hard enough when everything goes _right._"

Bella smiled, but turned to hide her apprehension as she moved to get out of the car. The notion of being a mother was a happy one for her, but the idea of actually giving birth…not so much.

"How long do you think you'll want to wait…before starting a family?" Bella asked as she selected a cart from a row in front of the market.

"Whenever it happens, it happens," Edward shrugged. "You just never know."

Bella fleetingly glanced over at Edward. Obviously, he didn't believe in birth control – a point that Rosalie herself confirmed two days later when the two where, once again, enjoying an outdoor lunch on the bank of the lake on Edward's land.

"Can I see your ring again?" Rosalie asked, holding out her hand. Bella reached over to show her and Rosalie sighed as if it wasn't the fourth time she'd seen it. "So beautiful."

"Thanks," Bella stated bashfully. She too, loved the ring, but she had yet to get used to the reception it received whenever anyone saw it. If people hadn't thought of the Cullens, and Edward by association, as wealthy before, they certainly did when they saw the size of the diamond his soon-to-be-bride was sporting.

"I'm so glad it's not raining today," Rosalie said as she leaned back on her elbows and crossed her legs at the ankles. "If I had to be cooped up in the house with them one more second, I'd go crazy," she said, nodding toward her children, who were preoccupied with feeding the swans.

Bella looked over at the children and smiled. They had changed so much in the short time that she'd come to know them. Emily had gotten so tall and Abigail was losing her 'baby' look and transforming into a beautifully, articulate miniature version of her mother. Elijah…well…the loud, brash little boy was louder, brasher…and a bit rounder about the middle.

"Did you always know you wanted four?" Bella asked of Emmet and Rosalie's quickly expanding family.

Rosalie let out a soft chuckle. "I don't mind having children, I really don't. And I knew going into this that I'd most likely have a large family." When she saw Bella's questioning glance, she added, "The Cullens don't believe in birth control."

"Really?" Bella asked, even though Edward's comment had basically confirmed this. Still, he'd also stated that Rosalie and Emmett shouldn't have had so many children if they couldn't handle it. Surely that insinuated that he thought there _was_ a way to handle it, right?

"Most Cannabeans don't," Rosalie continued on. "Your parents are probably more progressive or something."

Bella shook her head. "My mother had health issues, that's why I'm an only child. If it wasn't for that, I'm sure I'd have a ton of brothers and sisters. My dad is the strictest Cannabean I know."

"Perfect practice for the man you're marrying, then," Rosalie giggled. "Edward's pretty rigid when it comes to Cannabean law."

"And even he's got nothing on my dad," Bella said. "At least Edward watches television."

"Oh man, I'd die without television. I don't know how people who don't let their kids watch it get anything done."

"My mom just had me do whatever she was doing, or play wherever she was working," Bella said. "I have many fond memories of playing in the corner of the kitchen while she made dinner."

"She also only had one kid to look after," Rosalie stated. "Emma was so easy. It wasn't until I was pregnant with Abigail that I needed breaks for longer periods of time. And now with the fourth one…" Rosalie shook her head.

"You look much further along than five months," Bella observed.

"That's what happens when you're having your fourth," Rosalie stated. "Just think, this could be you by this time next year," she gestured toward her belly.

Something about her statement drove the point home for Bella and the wedding and everything that came with it seemed so close, even though she and Edward had yet to set a date.

Rosalie's laughter disturbed the run of Bella's thoughts. "You should see your face. You look so freaked out right now."

Bella sighed. "I'm not, really. It's just that, getting married is a huge adjustment. If I got pregnant immediately…"

"I know," Rosalie nodded sympathetically. "I have a friend who found this electronic machine that charts your cycle and then takes your temperature every morning to tell you when you're most fertile. She's been married three years and hasn't gotten pregnant yet. She swears by it. It's expensive though. I think she said she paid over five hundred dollars for it."

"Wow. That is expensive," Bella said, thinking it wouldn't work for more reasons than one. "But that's still birth control, right?"

"It's natural family planning. That doesn't really fit into the Cannabean law against using artificial means to prevent pregnancy."

"But what if your husband wants to…you know…and you're fertile? Do you just say no?" Bella asked.

Again Rosalie laughed. "That's what blow jobs are for." When Bella visibly balked, Rosalie shrugged. "I'm telling you, those are your best weapon against an unwanted pregnancy. He'll be totally satisfied and you'll be sperm free…well…unless you swallow, but even then…"

"Okay, Rosalie. You're making me feel sick."

"Fine, don't do it. But then I'm going to add a _guarantee_ to you being pregnant this time next year." When Bella didn't share in Rosalie's amused expression, she added, "'Course, I told Alice the same thing after I had Emma, and she has yet to get pregnant."

"She thinks she's sterile," Bella said, careful not to repeat what Edward had shared with her. "I know fertility treatments are expensive, but maybe they should consider it. She wants a child so bad."

"Both she and Jasper refuse to get tested. She thinks it's romantic the way he says it doesn't matter which one of them can't have kids, but secretly, I think he knows it's him and his bad habits that are causing the issue," Rosalie said as she lowered her voice. "He knows he's not ready to be a father, so I don't think he's in any rush to remedy things either."

Bella didn't need Rosalie to elaborate on what she thought Jasper's bad habits were. She'd already witnessed it on two occasions.

"Well, I'd better get back. Esme will probably be waking from her nap soon," Bella said as she noticed the sun's position in the sky.

"Poor thing," Rosalie said of Esme. "That woman never sits still for more than five seconds. I know it's got to be driving her crazy to be bed-ridden." She shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked up at Bella. "I think it's great that you're able to help her out like this. I know she and Carlisle really appreciate it."

"It's my pleasure. I'm enjoying getting to know her better," Bella said as she slipped on her shoes.

Rosalie reached up and grabbed Bella's hand, stalling Bella's movement immediately. "I wanted to tell you that I also appreciate you having lunch out here with me and the kids."

"Again, it's my pleasure," Bella said. "It's nice to have company."

Rosalie shook her head. "You have no idea how much it means to me, Bella." Rosalie's eyes began to tear up. "How much it means to Emmett… He'd never say anything, but I can just tell by the light in his eyes when the kids or I tell him that we hung out with you or by the lake.

"Bella, I don't know what Edward's told you about his relationship with Emmett, but I promise you, Emmett misses Edward terribly."

"I'm sure Edward misses Emmett, too," Bella said quickly, uncomfortable by Rosalie's now apparent tears.

"It's different for Emmett, though. He's Edward's big brother – his protector. But when everything happened with Jasper and Edward…well…they're both his little brothers, you know? He had to work so hard to be neutral. And then, after trying for so long, Emmett realized that while everyone was putting forth so much effort to tip-toe around Edward and Jasper and not ignite such a volatile situation, Emmett and our family was getting lost in the process. Birthdays were missed or forgotten, our kids never got invited over to their grandparents' house…nobody ever asked about Emmett or how he was doing. And I think part of the way he responds to Edward and Jasper has more to do with that than what happened with Jasper and Edward in the first place."

"Rosalie… I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"I'm not telling you all this so that you can apologize for something that isn't even your fault. It's nobody's fault really. It's just what happens sometimes. Anyway, I'm just saying thank you. Since you came into Edward's life, it's the most we've all felt like a family in a long time."

Aside from Edward's declaration of betrothal, and the nice things he whispered to her over the phone before she went to sleep at night, Rosalie's words were the nicest sentiment anyone had ever shared with her. The exact words to express that, however, evaded Bella, and so she simply dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around Rosalie.

The two near-sisters remained in the embrace until they heard a loud splash and then and even louder wail of frustration from the direction of the lake.

Elijah had attempted to grab one of the swans and had fallen in when the large fowl had suddenly changed its course.

"Oh no! Elijah!" Rosalie stood up as fast as she could.

"I've got him!"

Rosalie looked as stunned as Bella did when they saw Edward take off toward the lake and jump in. His heroics were unnecessary, however. Elijah was in shallow water.

"Uncle Edward, I almost had him!" Elijah exclaimed, completely unconcerned with the fact that his uncle was now dripping wet in the attempt to save him from harm.

"Don't try to touch the swans, Elijah. Not unless they come to you," Edward said – his voice a strained calm. Despite the young boy's ability to walk, Edward carried him over to where Rosalie and Bella were standing and set the boy down near his mother.

"Aw, Uncle Edward-"

"Elijah, don't argue with your uncle," Rosalie said quickly.

Bella quickly picked up the blanket she and Rosalie had been sitting on and handed it to Edward. He gratefully accepted it and wrapped it around his wet clothes.

"When did you get here?" Bella asked as Rosalie packed up the leftover lunch and rounded up her children in preparation of ushering them over to the minivan she'd haphazardly parked in the field near Edward's long-abandoned foundation.

"Just as he was falling into the lake," Edward pointed at Elijah. "I swear that boy could get into trouble in an empty room with rubber walls."

Bella laughed and checked her cell phone at the same time. "Did you call?" she asked, worried that she'd missed his attempt.

"No. I came home a little early and my mother told me where you were."

"Esme's awake?" Bella asked frantically. "I told her to call me as soon as she woke up!"

"Relax, Bella," Edward smiled. "She knows you have your phone. She's fine," Edward said.

Rosalie interrupted the interlude by having her children each come up to Bella and Edward and thank them for allowing them to have lunch by the swans. Bella hugged each of the children and Edward gave his nieces a humorous tweak of the nose, while he shook his nephew's hand and admonished him to stay out of trouble.

The girls were adorable as they continued to turn and wave until their van was completely out of sight. Bella giggled when she'd waved for the fifth time. She turned to see if Edward was waving and saw that his eyes were fixed, instead, on the foundation that was once going to be the location of his home. When he realized that Bella was watching him, he quickly smiled.

"Ready?" he asked.

Bella nodded.

"I'd offer you my arm, but I'm soaked."

Bella laughed at the memory of Edward diving into the shallow water.

They fell into an easy silence as they walked through the high grass toward the Cullen's neatly manicured orchard and hillside.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked after a few moments of quiet. "Or am I only imagining that Rosalie looked like she was crying?"

"I think those were just happy tears…or pregnancy hormones," Bella smiled. She knew that Edward was really asking what they were talking about, however. "She was just thankful for being able to come down to the lake with her kids. They tire her out when they're all stuck in the house on rainy days. She said she _and_ Emmett really appreciate it."

"Mm." Edward made a sound like he wasn't paying attention.

"And she put the fear of God in me about being pregnant by this time next year," Bella added.

That certainly got Edward's attention. He looked argumentative for a moment, but then, it was clear the wheels started turning for him as well. "Yeah…that's kind of…daunting."

"Are you opposed to natural family planning?" Bella asked outright.

"You mean like birth control?" Edward looked at her dourly.

"Naturally, not artificially," she said, quoting Rosalie's words. "You can do that by charting body temperature to know when you're fertile and when you're not. It's not an exact science, but a lot of women have been pretty successful with it."

"It sounds like a lot of work."

"A lot less work than having a set of twins or triplets your first year of marriage," Bella said, once again thinking of the O'Malley's.

Bella almost laughed at the appalled look on Edward's face at the notion of a multiple birth so early on in their life together.

"Does…that…run in your family?" Edward stammered.

Bella shrugged. "It's possible that my grandmother and mother quit having children too soon for me to find out. What about your family?"

"Not that I know of," Edward said, still blanched from the idea.

"Rosalie told me about a machine that does most of the work for you," Bella sneaked a glance at Edward. "It's expensive though."

"How expensive?"

"Five hundred dollars."

"Yeah. That is expensive."

And he didn't say another word about it.

'*'

Guilty that she'd been out of the house when Esme awoke from her drug-induced nap, Bella worked overtime at tending to her needs before relegating herself to the kitchen to make a meal she'd seen on one of Esme's cooking shows: lemon chicken, rosemary and garlic potatoes and homemade bread.

"This smells wonderful, Bella," Esme said when Bella placed a small tray of food on the bedside table. "It almost makes staring at these four walls bearable."

From her tone, Bella knew that Esme was going to try and coax her into helping her down the stairs to eat with the rest of the family – something Carlisle had forbidden until he said otherwise.

"I'm sure Carlisle will clear you to get off bed rest any day now," Bella said.

Esme guffawed. "You do _know_ my husband, right? He'll try to keep me here the full six weeks, even if my doctor says otherwise."

"Speaking of doctors, when is your next appointment?" Bella asked.

Esme pointed at her. "You're good at avoiding things you don't want to discuss, I'll give you that," though she decided to let Bella off the hook by answering her. "And my next appointment is next Tuesday. I can't wait for Carlisle to find out that I'm healing faster than normal, thanks to my doting help and exquisite nourishment." Esme winked at Bella. "You're spoiling my son with all these wonderful meals."

"Good," Bella smiled.

"It _is_ good," Esme agreed. "He's had to wait too long for you."

Esme's comment made Bella feel light, happy and able_._ That feeling accompanied her down the stairs as she floated back to the kitchen to make a special plate of food for her beloved.

After setting the table with a few wildflowers she'd snipped from the back garden, Bella went upstairs to retrieve Edward. She was sure he was finished showering and changed into dry clothes by then. Even still, she hesitated before knocking at his bedroom door, not wanting to catch him in a compromising position.

When he didn't answer after a few seconds, Bella knocked again.

Still, no answer.

After cautiously opening his door a tiny sliver, Bella opened it enough to stick her head in. She was overwhelmed by the clean, soapy fragrance of Edward; evidence that he'd already had his shower.

"Edward?" she called softly. "Edward, dinner's ready, if you're hungry," she said.

But there was no response. He was not in his room.

Upstairs and down, Bella went from room to room in search of him. The longer it took to find him, the more curious she became of his whereabouts. After a few moments, she thought that maybe he was playing an impromptu game of hide and seek with her. She checked for him out on the back deck, on the front porch, in the parlor, in the dining room, the downstairs guest bathroom…

…but Edward wasn't in any of those places.

Reluctantly accepting her defeat, Bella decided to retreat back to the kitchen to put Edward's plate in the oven to remain warm.

Suddenly, the sound of turning pages resonated from somewhere at the end of the dark hallway. Bella attempted to follow the noise, but it was too infrequent.

"Edward?" Bella asked, but her voice was so coated with uncertainty that she could hardly be heard.

As she rounded the corner, she saw a shard of light from a slightly ajar door. Peering through, she saw his outline. His back facing her, Edward was leaning over a table engrossed in something on a large sheet of paper.

With the flourish of his arm, he turned over the large top sheet and turned his attention to the one lying underneath.

So as not to startle him, Bella carefully crept into the room and stood slightly behind him, but close enough to see what he was looking at.

It was a schematic of some sort. Tiny lettering littered a page filled with bulbous clouds and boundary lines.

Edward turned the page again and the graphic of a house was clearly laid out before him.

Bella stepped closer to get a better look. She was sure Edward had become aware of her presence, but he didn't comment on it, nor did he stop looking through the blueprints.

"It's beautiful, Edward," Bella said as her eyes roamed over the page. "Is that…a _cobblestone_ fireplace?"

Edward nodded. "I always wanted one of those," he said softly.

Bella only nodded. "They're very cozy. Especially on a cold, rainy day." With the tip of her fingernail, she traced the outline. "Is this French Country?"

Edward looked over at her and smiled. "It is."

"I can see why Alice loved this," she said in a low voice as she tossed a sideways glance in Edward's direction.

Edward let out a sound that resided an equidistance between a snort and a chortle. "Alice _hated_ this house. This was the first house I was going to have built. The one the foundation was laid for. She wanted this gaudy three-story Victorian…_dollhouse_," Edward said with a sneer. "She wanted a rotunda here and spiraling staircases…"

Bella laughed. "That sounds…interesting."

"That's putting it nicely," Edward said, wrapping his arm around Bella and drawing her closer to his side. Together their eyes continued to slide over the plans.

"You've kept these a long time," Bella said. She wondered if it was clear to Edward as to exactly why that was. It certainly was clear to her.

"Of course," Edward said. "I paid a lot of money for them," he said.

_Oh. Is that all?_

"And I like them," he added quietly. He turned another page to reveal a close-up rendering of the front of the house. Bella hummed in appreciation.

"I can just see this all decorated for Christmas," she said as she rested her head against Edward's chest. "A fresh spruce wreath hanging on the red front door."

"A red door, huh?"

"I love red doors," Bella said.

"Duly noted," Edward winked before returning his attention back to the blueprints. "What else do you love?" his eyes washing over drawings of an over-the-garage loft with admiration.

"You," Bella whispered. She knew it wasn't the retort he was attempting to wheedle out of her. He was asking about the house – something that he'd obviously placed a lot of time and thought into, and therefore a bit of his identity. And though the house was nicer than anything Bella could have ever dreamed of, it was just a bunch of valueless lines and circles without Edward.

"This is what you want, isn't it?" Edward pointed at the blueprints. "It's what you've wanted all along."

"Is that a question for me…or you?" Bella raised an eyebrow at him.

Edward sighed. "I just…don't want to make any more mistakes with this."

"Who says you made a mistake in the first place?" Bella rubbed his arm lovingly. "It's just a house, Edward. And I told you, I'll follow you anywhere."

In response to her words, Edward pulled Bella flush against his body and rested his forehead against hers.

"Thank you," he murmured against her brow as he lightly placed a kiss there. "You always seem to know exactly what to say."

Bella's heart soared as she tightened her grip around Edward's waist. Never, did she ever feel like her words were exactly right, but here Edward was, telling her that not only were they right, they were perfect.

"I'll check into this," Edward nodded toward the plans, "but it might not be possible right now. I don't want you to get your hopes up."

"Got it," Bella assured him. "I will keep my hopes no higher than right about here," she pledged as she gestured to her waist.

It was a promise that Bella did her very best to keep. The next day, when she overheard Edward's portion of a telephone call where he was telling someone that the foundation of the home had already been poured, Bella wouldn't allow her mind to dwell upon it. Two days later, when Edward left the house with a rolled up set of plans, Bella felt the fluttering of excitement in her belly, but she didn't entertain it. Though, admittedly, at the end of the next week, when Edward had a "business" meeting with two men who had driven up in a truck that read 'Custom Home Builder' on the side, she did revel in the dream for just a little bit.

"What's going on down there?" Esme asked when Bella went up to the master suite to deliver fresh linens.

Esme had recently received the dreaded news that her doctor agreed with her husband: she was not healing as fast as she'd thought. In fact, she'd developed an infection at the site of her incision and had been laid up with a fever and a sore abdomen for the past couple days.

"Oh, Edward has a business meeting," Bella stated vaguely. If Esme even caught wind of what her son was up to, her hopes would be high enough for both Edward and Bella put together, and Bella was sure Edward didn't want to see Esme's disappointment anymore than hers if it all didn't work out.

"That's odd," Esme croaked, and then pawed at her neck to indicate that she was parched. "He's never had meetings here before."

"He's been working late every night this week. Maybe he just wanted to be close to home tonight," Bella stated nonchalantly. "Let me get you some tea with lemon for that throat."

Bella exited the room before Esme could attempt to get any more information out of her. She quickly made a small cup of tea and deposited it with Esme. Again she made a quick getaway under the guise of making sure that Edward and his guests had everything they needed. However, when she went downstairs to check on them, she found only Edward – his "meeting" already concluded.

"Everything okay?" Bella asked Edward when he fixed her with a strange gaze. She looked down at the table, and the blueprints were once again there, only this time they were marked up with red marks and sticky notes. "You made changes?"

"That's just a mock-up for an extra bedroom…for an office…or a _classroom _if that time came_," _Edward hinted. "It wouldn't add that much extra time to the project."

"Does it…take a lot of time?" Bella asked hesitantly.

"Four months." Edward sounded awe-struck. "I got three bids and they all came in with an ETA of about four months."

"Four months?" Bella asked in disbelief.

"We can build our house, Bella. And it can be done in four months," Edward said, his excitement finally showing.

"Oh, Edward!" Bella flung herself into his arms. "That's so exciting!"

"You know what this means don't you?" Edward's voice was muffled by Bella's hair as she hugged him.

"Now we can set a date for the wedding?"

Edward laughed. "Well that, too…but I was thinking more along the lines of us being in the house by Christmas, and how you could hang that wreath on _your_ red door."

'*'

It was a quiet night in the Cullen home. Carlisle was filling in for another doctor at the hospital, and Esme had fallen asleep to a Barefoot Contessa marathon on television. Bella and Edward were taking advantage of their own private celebration before breaking the news to their parents about their plans to build their dream home and their November wedding date.

"Won't it be snowing in November?" Bella leaned into Edward as they sat cuddling on the couch, his hands playing with her hair.

"No. It'll probably be raining, though. It's the wettest month of the year."

"Then should we wait? Because I don't think we can pull off the wedding in _less _than six months."

"You want to wait?"

"Well, no, but-"

"I know I don't want to wait," Edward emphasized. "We can have the wedding in November. It'll be fine."

"But the rain..."

"My mom is already dying to use those big circus canopies that she calls tents. Now we'll have a reason to."

Bella was satisfied with that answer, and for the moment, wanted nothing to do with all the other details that had suddenly become so pressing. Among them, her wedding dress. Now that Edward had stepped up and decided to build on his land, it was her turn to uphold her part of the bargain by telling her mother that she had a different vision for her wedding dress.

But she didn't want to think about that right then. Just for a moment, she wanted to rest securely in the arms of her betrothed and just be.

"Your hair is so soft," Edward expressed all of a sudden, breaking the trance.

Bella reached up and ran her fingers through his tresses as well. "So is yours," she smiled.

He slid his fingers across her cheek and along her jaw. "So soft," he whispered.

She mimicked him, touching his face and chiseled jaw.

His hand moved to her neck to angle her mouth toward his. And when their lips met, any words he used to describe their attributes were silenced by his kiss.

Their celebratory kisses were long, slow and deep. As Bella continued to match his movements, it no longer felt like he was trying to show her something. He was simply a man, expressing his love and devotion and she was a woman, receiving it and reflecting it back.

"I love you, so much." Edward caressed her ear with the words as he kissed from her mouth, to her jaw and down to her neck.

And she felt the same, but he didn't want her to tell him – he wanted her to _show_ him, with her trust. So when Edward suavely pulled at the coverlet that hung across the back of the couch and draped it over her, she didn't question him. When his hands moved from her shoulders, to her waist, and then underneath the hem of her blouse, she put up no fight. And when passionate fingers pushed the fabric up, over and away from her breasts, she allowed herself to sit exposed to the open room.

Instead, Bella fought to quiet the numerous warning bells going off inside her mind. Esme was upstairs. _But she couldn't come down._ Carlisle could come home from work at any minute. _But they'd hear him far before he saw them._ Finally, because she trusted him, Bella allowed herself to fully give in to what Edward was doing and accept that he wasn't doing anything wrong.

Judging by the way her body was responding to him, he was doing _everything_ right.

When Bella felt the weight of the blanket shift across her lap, she knew what was coming next, and despite her resolve to give in, she instinctively recoiled when Edward's fingertips grazed her bare knee.

"It's okay." Edward's voice was soft and soothing. "I'm won't hurt you. I promise."

"I know," Bella said, barely audibly.

And the truth was, she _did _know this. But it wasn't pain that she was afraid of. It was the vulnerability; the being stripped of those last few unknowns that she feared. The revelation of how her body responded to him beneath her clothes; the disclosure of her repressed primal being, the exposition of a woman who passionately hungered for the man before her in a sexual way – _that_ was what held her back.

Edward didn't know that, he couldn't have. Yet, when he continued to whisper, over and over, that it was going to be alright, that she was beautiful, that he loved her and cared for her, Bella was nearly convinced that he knew exactly what she was thinking. Every time he spoke, every time he moved, he worked to chip away at the armor of fear that she'd became so accustomed to hiding behind.

She flinched when his fingers came into contact with her damp underwear, embarrassed at her inability to control the reaction. Yet Edward responded with a sigh of favor.

"You feel so good," he crooned as his fingers dipped beneath the thin layer of cotton. "Oh…Bella…"

And suddenly his mouth was pressed against hers fiercely and possessively. His breath came out in short and frantic pants as he briefly removed his hand from underneath Bella's skirt, only to find hers and place it in his lap. "Touch me." His request was urgent and desperate, and to Bella's ears, he was voicing exactly how she felt.

Quickly she pried away his belt buckle and pulled at the zipper and button clasp. When she pulled his erection out of his underwear and attempted to wrap her hand around it, Edward moaned his gratitude into Bella's mouth.

"Feels so good," he whimpered.

It took all that Bella had to concentrate on what she was doing to him, because in the next moment, Edward coaxed her legs apart and without warning, thrust his finger deep inside her.

Physically, it was the furthest they'd ever gone with one another, and Bella steeled herself to accept the sensation. It lay just on the brink of discomfort, yet she didn't want him to stop. And when Edward's thumb slid up and down against the nub of flesh known only to him in that way, Bella nearly convulsed with pleasure. She suppressed the urge to plead with him to do it again, waiting instead to accept the journey he was taking her on at his pace.

All of a sudden, Edward reared back and tugged at his pants. "No, no, no," he muttered. Bella was waiting for him to tell her what she'd done wrong, when his fingers emerged from underneath the blanket, still glistening with her desire, and disappeared into his pocket. He pulled out his cell phone, silenced it effectively, and then tossed it onto the table before leaning back in to resume the ministrations he was performing both over and under the blanket.

"Please don't stop," he begged when Bella had lost momentum.

But it wasn't the interruption that had caused her concentration to falter. It was the feeling of pins and needles that was bubbling forth from her belly and threatening to radiate through her fingers and toes. It was just reaching a peak when he'd stopped, and the feeling had receded almost immediately, leaving Bella feeling gutted and edgy.

When she didn't respond quickly enough to his beseeching pleas, Edward laid his hand over hers and guided her movement. "Yeah…that feels good…" he grunted.

Unexpectedly, the pins and needles returned, and with them they brought flutters and tingles.

"Edward," Bella gasped as she spastically clutched at his bicep with her free hand.

No longer able to focus, she removed the hand she'd been using to fondle him, and grasped at Edward's fingers. The overwhelming sensation that he was causing seemed to string her along a climbing plateau for longer than she was sure she could hold on.

And then she was falling.

And then the phone was ringing. Again.

Seconds later, the house phone came to life, and the synchronization of sounds was such an oddity that it distracted Edward long enough for him to check to see who was calling.

"It's my father," Edward announced, and after a brief hesitation, he answered it.

Bella quickly sat up and began straightening her clothes, as if Carlisle would be able to see the state of their clothing through the mobile device. Edward started doing the same thing, and Bella wondered if he harbored any shame or regret at what they'd just done. Not wanting that to be the case, she slowly turned to gauge his expression and was shocked at what she saw.

No longer on the phone, Edward was as white as a sheet as he fixed his clothing and reached for the contents of his pockets in preparation of leaving the house.

"What is it? What's wrong," Bella asked as she reached for his hand.

"Jasper," Edward managed to get out. "He's been in a bad accident."

With a promise to call as soon as he arrived at the hospital – and a request not to say anything to Esme until the complete story was known, Edward left the house. In his absence, Bella couldn't help but wonder if Carlisle had called Emmett as well, if Alice was okay and if Jasper's "bad habit" had had a hand in the tragic event.

* * *

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	26. Chapter 25 The Greater Good

**The Greater Good.** _A practice in which decisions are made that, though well-intentioned, are considered to be uncomfortable, or downright painful to loved ones. Cannabean males walk the fine line of this being a purely selfish or selfless practice._

* * *

Carlisle responded to Edward's text message by meeting him in the waiting area of the Forks Hospital emergency room.

"Have you eaten?" Carlisle asked when Edward was mere feet from him.

"A few hours ago. Why?" Edward asked. It was strange that his father would be thinking about eating at a time like this…unless Jasper's accident hadn't been that serious…

"Jasper needs blood," Carlisle said, getting right to the point. "You have the same blood type."

A memory fluttered through Edward's mind of him and his brothers when they were just ten, twelve and fourteen years old:

_"Today we found out what our blood type was in biology," Jasper had announced enthusiastically. "And guess what? I don't have one!"_

_"Newsflash: everyone has a blood type, Jas," Emmett said as he rolled his eyes._

_"Not me! You can even ask my teacher. We had three of those people there who test blood and none of 'em could figure mine out. It was awesome!" Jasper couldn't be dissuaded. _

_"I wonder what my blood type is…" Edward thought aloud._

_"Probably type 'O'. It's the most common," Jasper shrugged. "Emmett do you know what your blood type is?"_

_Before Emmett could answer, their father entered the kitchen and butted in on their conversation. _

_"Emmett is type AB and Jasper, you are type Fya negative," he said with a smirk. "It's very rare."_

_"See!" Jasper thumped Emmett on the shoulder. "I told you."_

_"Apparently Jasper thinks this is a big deal," Emmett rolled his eyes._

_"It is," Carlisle had concluded. "In the event that Jasper ever needs a transfusion, he'll have to make special arrangements way ahead of time…or make sure Edward is around."_

_"Edward?" Jasper had turned and looked at his younger brother with dread. "Why?" the expression on his face had hinted that he already knew the answer to the question he was asking._

_"Because Edward has the same blood type," Carlisle smiled and raised his eyebrows at Edward._

_"But I thought you said it was rare," Jasper argued. He was suddenly no longer happy about his uniqueness. _

_By contrast, Edward was elated to be brought into the conversation. "I'm rare, too?" he asked excitedly._

_"We can't both be rare, stupid," Jasper quipped as he shuffled toward the kitchen exit._

_"Jasper, don't talk to your brother that way," Carlisle admonished. "And blood types are hereditary. It makes sense that two brothers could potentially share the same 'rare' blood type."_

_"I don't know what you're so bent out of shape about," Emmett added. "I'm the one who's the odd one out."_

_"Yeah, but in this case, that's the point." Jasper tossed a sulky sideways glance at Edward before stalking out of the kitchen._

_"So what does it mean that I have a rare blood type, Dad?"_

_"It's not a bad thing. It just means…"_

It was funny how Edward hadn't remembered how upset Jasper had gotten until just then.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"You haven't answered me," Carlisle stated impatiently. "Are you willing to give blood?"

"What the heck happened?" Edward stalled for time as he struggled to come to terms with what his father was trying to tell him.

"Edward, I promise to explain everything and anything you want to know, but if you're going to give blood, we need to go now. There isn't much time."

"Of course," Edward relented with a single nod. "Let's go."

An hour later, Edward was sitting on a soft cot willing his body to replenish the depleted fluid quickly so that he could donate another pint. Carlisle was floating around the doors of the operating room, as the attending doctor saw fit to keep him out of the actual surgical procedure.

As he waited for the slight nausea and dizziness to go away, Edward's thoughts slipped to Bella and what she might be dealing with back home if Esme had woken up and started asking questions. He considered calling her but wondered what the consequences would be if Esme was still sleeping and Bella's signaling phone woke her.

Edward had just resigned to calling, regardless, when Carlisle entered the small room and plopped down next to Edward with a sigh.

"Well, he's stable and his neck's not broken, so that's good," he said.

"So he got into a car accident…" Edward prompted.

"He hit a tree head on. I guess he was speeding down Lott Avenue and from what the police told me, it looks like he swerved or something. I don't know if there was anything in the road, but there were no other cars involved. Thank goodness."

Edward noticed how tired and stressed his father looked, so he remained silent and allowed his father to continue at his own pace.

"Emmett picked Alice up and dropped her off at his place. He's on his way here now."

"Alice isn't coming to the hospital?" Edward was surprised. If it was him on that operating table, he'd want to know that Bella was nearby.

"It's not…a good idea. I suggested she not come and she listened to me," Carlisle articulated slowly.

"What is it, Dad? What are you not saying?"

Carlisle looked deep into Edward's eyes for a moment before walking over to the door of the room and closing it.

"At this time, I don't know where Jasper was coming home from, but it could have been the vineyard. Alice said that he was working on something regarding shipments, but she wasn't sure if that meant he was onsite or not," Carlisle said.

Edward fidgeted restlessly as he waited for his father to get to the point.

"Without even being given a proper test, he registered a point-oh-eight," Carlisle finally admitted.

Jasper was legally drunk.

Edward shook his head in disbelief.

"There are two on-duty deputy sheriffs that are sniffing out a story relentlessly. Since Jasper failed an improperly administered breathalyzer, they know they can't charge him until one is properly administered, yet the longer he's out, the more diluted the effects of the alcohol. So they are refusing to leave and keep pestering the doctors to be alerted the moment he's out of surgery and awake. That's why I told Alice not to come down. They'd question her until she told them something that implicated him," Carlisle said, his voice weary from worry.

"At this point, would that be such a bad thing?" Edward couldn't help but ask, but judging from the flabbergasted look his father gave him, he didn't agree.

"How can you say something like that?" Carlisle whispered harshly.

"Look at him, Dad," Edward gestured to his surroundings. "When is someone going to admit that Jasper has a problem? He is an alcoholic and if he doesn't get help soon, he's going to hurt more than a tree next time."

"He's not an alcoholic," Carlisle said adamantly. "He just…used bad judgment."

"Don't _all_ alcoholics use bad judgment? It's why they're alcoholics," Edward said sarcastically.

Carlisle turned to his son in glaring alarm, a signal that Edward was close to taking things too far.

It was during this silent stand-off that Emmett rapped on the door before entering.

"What's the latest?" Emmett asked. If he noticed the tension between his father and brother, he gave no indication.

"His neck isn't broken," Carlisle said.

"Oh thank god!" Emmett breathed in relief, obviously responding to a previous conversation. "Alice is a nervous wreck. I told her I'd call her as soon as I found something else out."

"I should call her," Carlisle stood up. "You two should go up to the lobby in my office. They're probably going to need this room soon." He looked over at Edward. "Are you good?"

By the way he asked, Edward knew he wasn't only talking about the aftereffects of his donation.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Edward said, his voice gruff from the late hour and stress.

"Go the back way through the ER. I don't want those police officers to bother you," Carlisle said.

Edward glanced over at Emmett to gauge his reaction. Apparently he already knew about the officers as well because he bore no questions on his face.

Edward quietly followed a few paces behind Emmett as they walked toward the elevator. Their awkward ride ended at the third floor and they quickly used the key card their father had relinquished to find solace in his professional quarters.

"So, you gave blood?" Emmett asked to break the silence.

Edward nodded. "Yeah."

"Man, he's lucky you were around when this happened," Emmett said.

Edward scoffed. "Did you know?" he hinted.

"Know what?"

"That he was drunk."

"I figured as much. The story Dad gave me had more holes in it than Swiss cheese."

Edward looked at his brother earnestly in that moment; the magnitude of the situation not allowing room for past grudges.

"Why do they cover for him like that?" Edward's frustration clearly marked his words.

Emmett shrugged. "I don't know. Nothing they can do about it, I guess."

"Nothing they can do about it?" Edward asked incredulously. "For starters, how about taking him off a job that gives him a constant supply of alcohol?"

"Yeah, well Mom would be admitting he has a problem if she did that," Emmett huffed.

"Well she's going to be doing more than admitting it the next time he does something like this," Edward said as he paced the office in agitation. "Can you imagine what would have happened if he'd hit another car? Or even worse, a pedestrian? Mom could have lost the entire vineyard!"

"You're overreacting." Emmett looked at his younger brother as if he were a raving lunatic.

"Overreacting? Emmett, you know as well as I do that the moment someone finds out you have property or assets, they come out of the woodwork to sue you the minute you mess up. And everything Jasper has is because of Mom and Dad. Who do you think will end up footing the bill if he gets sued?"

Emmett almost laughed. "Do you hear yourself?" he asked. "Have you always been this much of a pessimist?"

"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist," Edward argued.

"Well then, as a _realist_ you would know that Jasper, as a person over the age of eighteen, is financially responsible for his own actions. And just because he works at the vineyard, and we house wine there, it doesn't make us liable for him imbibing and then driving. Under that reasoning, all bars would be responsible anytime someone they served got behind the wheel drunk."

Edward grumped at Emmett's analogy, but he had to admit that his brother had a point. Still, experience had taught him that Jasper would find a way to make his personal woes the woes of his parents as well.

Emmett looked down suddenly and grasped at his pocket. He pulled out his mobile phone that had been on vibrate and checked the number.

"Rose wants to know what's going on," he said. "I should probably call her."

"I should probably call Bella, too," Edward said, slightly proud of the fact that he had someone waiting for a word from him as well.

Emmett noticed the change in Edward's voice and posture when he mentioned the name of his betrothed.

"She's still at the house with Mom?" Emmett asked.

Edward couldn't swallow the smile that leapt onto his lips. "Yeah. She'll be there for another few weeks." He didn't feel the need to elaborate on the possible live-in situation, especially since his father had yet to decide upon it.

"Is Mom driving' her crazy yet with those cooking shows yet?"

"Believe it or not, Bella likes them almost as much as Mom does."

"I believe it. Rosalie has brought home a few of the things Bella's made when they have lunch together. It seems like she really likes to cook." He then looked over at Edward mischievously and added, "You're gonna get fat."

Edward was both appreciative and irritated at the fact that his brother had managed to soften the mood by changing the subject to Bella. He was irritated with himself for letting the emotions and fear of the circumstances get the better of him and he was beyond appreciative that his brother had had the foresight to defuse him by bringing up the woman who held his heart so.

And because that moment seemed like the perfect time…

"We set a date," Edward revealed.

"Oh yeah?" Emmett positioned his body on his father's desk, where he'd been sitting, to face Edward. "When's the big day?"

"November fourth."

"Won't it be raining?"

"Probably."

"Yeah, that wouldn't have stopped me either," Emmett laughed. "So, you're buying that house then?"

"Well, actually…" Edward stalled for a moment and in the quietness that loomed he heard Bella's words – her assurance that this was his choice and his right. "I'm building on my land."

"And you plan to be done by _November_?" was Emmett's shocked reply. "You can't even get your plans and permits finished by then."

"I already have my plans and permits. It's the original set. My very first ones," Edward clarified, lest Emmett think he was moving Bella into the house Alice had designed.

Emmett looked reflective as he considered what Edward had said. The expected reaction of resentment and bitterness regarding the land issue didn't rear its head, but when Emmett started shaking his head no adamantly, Edward was sure his luck had run out.

"I still don't think you can do it, not unless you're building a very small house," was all Emmett said.

"I've gotten three different bids and they all say it can be done. Plus the foundation is already there. It'll be fine."

"Yeah, alright," Emmett said, giving up the debate easily.

"Oh, and Mom and Dad don't know about the date yet…we were going to tell them Sunday with Bella's parents, but now…"

"That'll be fine, too," Emmett said quickly regarding Jasper's situation; very much an older brother reassuring his younger brother.

But unlike times of their youth when Edward was comforted by the confidence behind his brother's statements, Emmett's words came out like a question, nothing more than a hopeful plea that their brother would pull through unscathed.

'_*_'

The next morning, Edward squinted as the sunrise's rays peaked through his slightly ajar curtains. He rolled over and groaned as he thought of all the meetings and phone conferences that would have to be rescheduled because he'd gotten home from the hospital so late that he hadn't been able to even conceive of the notion of going in to work.

When he'd finally gathered enough momentum to get out of bed, Edward stumbled into the bathroom for a hot shower. After that successfully rendered him alert, he pulled on a fresh t-shirt and jeans before walking out of his bedroom and onto the landing of the stairs. From where he stood, he could hear Bella and his mother's voice wafting out of the master suite.

"I just love this one, Bella. It looks so regal. And with your long, dark hair and peaches and cream skin, you would look exquisite." Judging by Esme's usual chipper tone and the carefree sound of their conversation, it was clear that she still did not know about Jasper.

"That is lovely," Bella said meekly. "But I had something more soft and simple in mind." There was a sound of turning pages before she said, "Like this one."

"That is nice," Esme said sweetly.

"This one's my favorite though," Bella said demurely.

"Oh, Bella," Esme gasped. "When Edward lays eyes on you wearing this…"

Edward's ears perked up at the sound of his name. If he was lucky, maybe they were talking about what she'd wear to bed on the first night they were married. However, it wasn't a stretch to assume they were talking about the actual wedding dress itself. And Bella's next comment confirmed it.

"I don't know…it all seems to be so much. I can just wear…something else."

Edward knew she was referencing the dress her mother was hoping to pass down.

"Something else? What do you mean something else? A girl does not get married in _something else._" Esme was sounding insistent and Edward figured that he'd better get in there and run interference quickly.

"G'morning, beautiful." Since it was the first time he'd spoken for the day, his voice was rough from being unused. Bella didn't seem to mind.

She turned toward Edward with a beaming smile on her face. "Good morning." And then the smile slid from her face as she remembered the events of last night and the reason why Edward was standing before her so late in the morning.

"Why are you home?" Esme, however, was none the wiser.

"I decided to take the day off," Edward answered, his eyes never leaving Bella's. "I was exhausted."

"You do work too hard; just like your father," Esme sighed wistfully. "But unlike him, I'm glad you at least know when to take a break."

"Can I make you some breakfast," Bella asked quietly. It was something she rarely got to do, as she was hardly ever awake when he rose to get ready for work.

"Are you having anything?" Edward hoped Bella recognized his cleverly disguised request to get her out of his mother's presence so they could talk privately.

"I'll have some tea," Bella responded.

"You two go on. And Bella? We'll talk later about…you know," Esme winked as she looked over at Edward like a woman who clearly had a secret she couldn't wait to share.

Edward waited until they were both safely alone in the kitchen before he confirmed his suspicions about the topic of conversation he'd overheard.

"Was that about the wedding dress?" he asked.

Bella looked both shocked and disappointed at the question.

"Don't worry, I didn't hear anything I wasn't supposed to," Edward assured her. "Though I do think I stepped in just in time to prevent you from getting a second wedding dress you don't want to wear."

"She's just excited," Bella shrugged. "She doesn't mean anything by it."

"No, she doesn't, but that doesn't mean she won't press you into doing things her way if you don't speak up for yourself."

"I showed her what I liked," Bella defended herself. "Anyway, she knows we're just looking."

"_She's_ just looking. You're shopping, and I'll make sure she knows the difference."

"Don't hurt her feelings, Edward," Bella pleaded, worrying at the idea.

"I'm won't. But this is important. You need to have the dress you want. I'm not going to let you settle. Not on this," Edward stated firmly before he wrapped Bella in his arms and kissed her soundly on the lips. She didn't fight him on his involvement or his embrace. She put her arms around him in return and opened her mouth to him to receive more of his affection.

Edward hummed in appreciation at the way her mouth tasted of cinnamon and sugar and…

"Did you bake cinnamon rolls?" he broke the kiss suddenly. The smell of the sweet rolls hung in the air.

Bella giggled. "Your mother warned me that you're like a little kid with any kind of baked goods."

"I want," Edward wiggled his eyebrows playfully at her.

Bella laughed as she pulled out a tray hidden in the microwave. Edward accepted an exceptionally gooey treat while she poured him a cup of coffee.

Edward hopped up on the counter and took a large bite, savoring every morsel. "Mmm," he said, his eyes closed in bliss. He opened his eyes to see Bella returning the tray to the microwave. "Hey, where are you going with those?"

"Your dad hasn't had any. And I was thinking you might want to take some to the hospital later…if you're going back," Bella hinted.

"Did she ask any questions?" Edward whispered about his mother.

"No, she has no idea," Bella said. "But I don't understand why your father isn't telling her. She's going to be really upset when she finds out."

"And that's probably why he's not saying anything. He wants her to rest so she can heal. If she's upset about Jasper, she won't eat or sleep and she certainly won't stay in bed."

Bella nodded. "So…how is Jasper? Any word?"

Edward had called Bella before he left the hospital last night and filled her in on Jasper's condition. Though he wasn't actually permitted to see Jasper, his father was able to keep him abreast of everything going on, and in turn, he was able to pass this information on to Bella. Of course she'd wanted to go to Alice and make sure she wasn't hysterical, but Edward had comforted her by letting her know that Alice was with Rosalie and not alone.

"They're keeping him pretty heavily sedated, but I don't know if that's because there's nothing they can really do for his broken collarbone or because my father wants to make sure the cops can't question him until he's fully cognizant…and alcohol free."

"I feel like I should do something. Rosalie's got to have her hands full with the kids and now Alice. And since Jasper isn't at work, I'm sure Emmett is working overtime. Rosalie could probably use an extra set of hands or something," Bella wondered aloud, "But your mother is napping less and less and I already am behind on her errands and then the wedding…"

"Honey, stop," Edward said as he broke through her verbal tangent. "Everyone understands that you've made a commitment to help out here, and until my dad fills my mother in on what's happening, our hands are kind of tied."

Bella sighed her agreement. "I can at least call Alice; let her know I'm thinking about her.

"And I'll help you with the errands. What do you need to do?" Edward offered.

"Grocery shop, pick up dry cleaning, mail a package for your mother, pick up her prescription and pick up more clothes from my house," Bella prattled off.

Edward listened for something he could take off Bella's list and realized her biggest need wasn't a second pair of hands.

"You need a car," he stated.

"Your mother said I could drive hers, but it's a stick shift, and I can't drive a stick," Bella explained. "My mother said I could borrow her car after she got back from town-"

"No. You need your own car. Life isn't going to get any less busy from here on out. I don't know much about planning a wedding, but I know you'll be running all over the place to do it. Plus it'll save us a lot of time if you can do most of your running around while I'm at work instead of waiting until I get home to drive you. We still have a bit of our books to finish up and we're not getting much time together." Edward could tell that Bella immediately took his words to mean that she'd caused a problem in the progress of their relationship. "It's not anyone's fault," he added. "It's just the way things are because of our limitations. That's why I need to get you a car."

"Oh, Edward, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that."

"If your discomfort stems from anything other than money, I'd like to hear about it."

Bella looked stumped as she tried to come up with an explanation that Edward wouldn't discount.

"It just seems like something we shouldn't take on before the wedding," she finally said.

"Why?" Edward questioned.

"Because…we haven't really combined assets yet-"

"That's financial. I'm not going to listen to any arguments regarding money. I refuse to let it be an issue between us, Bella. What's mine is yours and I'm not going to wait until November to start acting like it."

Bella blushed as she looked down, obviously appreciative of Edward's reasoning. "Well…okay, then."

"So, what kind of car do you want?" he asked.

"Um…an automatic," Bella squinted, forcing herself to become more comfortable with the idea. "Nothing too big or too fancy. And…nothing too expensive."

"Bella-"

"Edward, I understand where you're coming from, and I get it. Just…let me adjust, okay?"

Edward nodded. "Okay." But he already knew exactly what kind of car he was going to get Bella.

Unfortunately, the events of the day didn't allow Edward and Bella to revisit the issue of the car, or the errands that needed to be done. Carlisle had come home from the hospital within that hour looking as if he'd been through a battle. As soon as Esme had seen him she questioned him relentlessly until he finally admitted to what was going on with Jasper.

The argument that followed was the largest blow-out Edward had ever experienced between his parents, and he was mortified to have Bella present to witness it.

It was nearly noon and Bella was upstairs bringing Esme her medication, along with her afternoon meal. Edward was changing the batteries for his mother's television remote control because the old ones were weak and he didn't want his mother to be tempted to go searching for replacements.

"Hi," Carlisle greeted quietly as he slipped in the room. "I'm going to take a quick shower and then a long nap…"

"Carlisle!" Esme gasped. "What happened to you?"

"It's just be a long day," he said, avoiding her eyes.

"Nonsense," she slapped her hand down on the bed beside her. "You look…something's wrong. What is it?"

"No," Carlisle shook his head. "It's nothing."

Esme's eyes narrowed during her inspection of him. "_What's_ nothing?"

"Esme," Carlisle pinched at his brow in frustration. "Please. I'm tired and hungry and smell like two days worth of hospital. I'm going to take a shower and a nap and then we'll talk about it later."

"So there _is_ something," Esme stated nervously. "I knew it. Bella and Edward have been acting like the two sides of Judas all morning."

"Esme, you need your rest-"

"Carlisle, what is it? You're scaring me." Esme's face tensed.

Edward knew that it was time for he and Bella to exit but the shock of knowing what was about to happen held him still. And when he glanced across the room at Bella, he witnessed that the same paralyzed stupor had seized her as well.

Carlisle continued to stall for a short while longer before Esme's pleas for him to level with her finally won him over.

And so he told her what he knew.

At first, Esme looked horrified – her small hands covering her mouth to stifle her sounds of despair.

But then she got angry.

And loud.

"How could you keep this from me?" she yelled.

"Esme, you are recovering," Carlisle said calmly and reasonably. "It is a well-known fact that stress and worry can slow down the body's recuperation-"

"My son is lying in a hospital bed and you want me to think about myself?" Esme asked incredulously. "I had a hysterectomy, Carlisle, not brain surgery!"

"Nevertheless, I didn't think it was right to worry you before I could give you the final prognosis. And since Jasper is going to be fine-"

"I am his mother! I deserve to know what's going on from the minute it happens, not days later! You have no right-"

"Esme!" Carlisle's voice was booming and commanding and Esme ceased her tirade immediately. "It was my decision to make, and I made it. Yes, under normal circumstances, I would have told you immediately. But you are bedridden and fighting an infection. I knew you would try everything within your power to get down to the hospital if you thought Jasper had need of you – and to your own detriment. The only thing you can do for Jasper right now is get yourself well."

"I could have been praying for him," Esme muttered, shedding tears for the first time.

"God knows your needs without you uttering them," Carlisle said calmly. As if he just realized that he and his wife weren't alone, he looked over at Edward and frowned.

At that moment, Edward got his bearings back and he quickly crossed the room, grabbed Bella by the hand, and the two of them exited quietly.

And they didn't speak a word about what they'd witnessed in his parents' room.

'*'

In the days that followed, life was turned upside down. It was as if the argument between Edward's parents had ushered in some sort of bad omen. Everything just got really hectic all of a sudden.

Edward's work load seemed to triple overnight, and therefore, so did his hours. In between meetings and emails, he tried to handle as much personal business as he could. He touched base with his general contractor and set up the financing for construction, he contacted the salesperson at the import car dealer that he always used, and put in a request for a lease for Bella. He also renewed his vehicle registration on his own car. In three days, that was all the personal business he had time for.

Each night, he'd come home to a sweet note from Bella and a meal packaged especially for him in the refrigerator. He loved the way she didn't make him feel guilty for the little time they spent together, but supported him with kind words and small gestures that helped him throughout the day, like making his lunch and making sure his laundry was done. Unfortunately, these little things only served to make him miss her that much more, and their time apart was becoming increasingly unbearable.

Because of this, Edward made it a priority to get home early on Friday to spend the remainder of the day in Bella's presence. He knew his father wasn't working at the hospital and therefore Bella would be free of looking after Esme for the evening.

However, before he could even begin to consider what he and Bella would do to catch up with one another, his administrative assistant announced that he had a rather adamant caller. From China. And considering that the caller's clock read nine hours earlier than Edward's, Edward knew he was in for a long night.

It was nine o'clock at night before Edward returned home to Bella.

"So much for a great evening," he muttered to himself as he took note of the barely illuminated house when he drove up. Bella was probably already asleep.

Edward also noticed the lack of his father's car as he drove into the garage and wondered if his father had had to go into work after all, or if he was just visiting Jasper, who was mending rather quickly.

Heavy feet trudged up the stairs toward his room, but despite his physical fatigue, Edward wasn't tired. His day, though long, had brought with it an unexpected capital gain – so much, in fact, that he could purchase the car he'd procured for Bella two times over on that one call alone. But even that wasn't enough to satisfy the burden he felt at leaving Bella on her own for so many days in succession. Especially after they'd discussed all of the things she felt that she needed to do but wasn't able to get done. By the time he'd reached the top of the stairs, Edward felt distraught over the fact that he'd let Bella down, even though it was unintentional. So much was changing for both of them, and he wasn't even around to traverse it with her.

Longing just to get a glimpse of her, Edward poked his head inside Bella's room, because he hadn't seen her since the previous day. Upon entry, he was surprised to find her sitting up, reading by a dim book light.

She startled when he flipped the light switch.

"Hey beautiful," he said, one side of his mouth lifting in a smile.

"Edward," she seemed relieved to see him. Then she looked down at the sleep shirt she was wearing, that only extended to right above her knee - and her bare feet. She quickly draped the comforter over them, but not before Edward took sight of the shell-pink polish upon them.

"You paint your toenails?" Edward asked. Most Cannabean women did not wear nail polish. Some considered it garish and flashy, while others simply viewed it as impractical.

"Just sometimes," Bella said quietly as if she were pleading her case. "And only in light colors. No one ever sees them but me and I-"

"I like it," Edward said quietly as he walked over to the bed and moved the blanket to uncover her foot. He lightly stroked the top of her toe before looking up at her through his lashes. "You have nice toes."

She flushed the same color as her toenail polish and shifted so that her feet were covered once again.

"I've missed you so much," Edward said as he took a seat on the bed beside her. He was treading on dangerous ground, being on the bed with her, but he didn't care. He just wanted to be near her.

"Have you eaten?" Bella asked. "I could get dressed and go sit with you while you ate. I'm not really tired." She was aware of how finely they were walking the line between what was acceptable now that they were betrothed and what has not.

"Yeah, okay," Edward agreed. But when Bella made a move to get out of bed, he reached over and engulfed her in a hug, burying his face in her neck. "I feel really bad about how much I've been gone, Bella."

"Why, honey?" she asked, seemingly forgetting her previous discomfort. She held Edward in her arms and rubbed his back soothingly. "I understand that you have to work."

"I know, but you have things you need to do, too. You told me that and I promised to help you. But I've been gone. And we haven't told our parents that we set a date…"

"It's not your fault, Edward. And we'll tell them. It just hasn't been the right time. No one is going to feel like celebrating until Jasper gets home from the hospital anyway."

"But it shouldn't be like that. Jasper's poor decisions shouldn't overshadow everything else."

"True, but a family tragedy is a family tragedy. People can't help the way they feel about it." Bella threaded her fingers through Edward's hair. "But your father said Jasper is coming home tomorrow."

"So my dad is home?" Edward lifted his head slightly. "I didn't see his car."

"He was, but he got called back to the hospital a few hours ago. Not because of Jasper though."

"How have things been around here…my parents…?"

"They're fine. And your mother got a positive report at her doctor's appointment yesterday; she's off bed rest, so she's happy."

"I'm still sorry I haven't been here for you. Forgive me?"

"There's nothing to be forgiven for, silly," Bella said as she leaned over and initiated a kiss, something she rarely did.

"I love you so much. You know that, don't you?"

But Bella's response was usurped by Edward's mouth covering hers.

All at once, the time, closeness and intimacy that he and Bella had been denied cascaded down upon Edward and his desires, repressed by over commitment, took over the little sense of judgment he had been displaying.

"I can't wait to be married to you," Edward lamented between kisses. And as his very prominent member strained against his pants, it was obvious which context he was referring to.

"Edward…" Bella said breathlessly.

But he was so afraid she would put an end to this display of fondness that he so desperately needed, that each time she began to speak, he'd kiss her deeply, sucking her tongue into his mouth. Finally, when she'd tapped on his back persistently, he bid her speech.

"The door…" she said, alerting him to their lack of privacy.

_Oh god, I love this woman! _Edward thought has he jumped up and locked the bedroom door before rejoining Bella on the bed.

It was obvious that their distance had had the same effect on her, because she returned his kisses and caresses just as fervently as he delivered them.

When Edward's hands inched underneath Bella's shirt, he nearly moaned aloud at the discovery that her chest was bare underneath. Pushing her clothing aside, he wasted no time in putting his mouth on her. When she suppressed her expressions of pleasure, he licked, and flicked and bit until she no longer had the ability to keep her enjoyment quiet.

Warning bells began to go off in Edward's mind as his hands crawled down Bella's body, beneath her underwear.

He ignored them.

Instead, he focused on how she felt against his fingertips. Hot, slick and inviting.

Suddenly things began to happen of their own volition, as if Edward had no control over them. One minute his fingers were exploring between Bella's legs, and the next minute, her hands were on him, stroking him atop his pants.

And then his hands were at Bella's side, supporting his weight as he rested on top of her. His pants were open, his boxers askew and his penis free.

The only barrier between them was Bella's ecstasy-dampened underwear, though Edward wasn't sure if the coating of arousal was his or hers.

His kisses were erratic and desperate as he began to thrust his hips instinctually against Bella. But the cotton of her underwear was getting in the way of a satisfaction that he felt was so close…

He reached down and pulled at her underwear…

"Edward, honey, we can't," Bella whispered when she realized what he was attempting to do.

"I'm not going to put it in," he promised. "I just want to feel you. I just want to feel you, Bella," he chanted.

And since his hands were already at the tip of her sex, Bella gave in and let him "feel" her, though it didn't take long before this wasn't enough. Edward removed his fingers and replaced them with the tip of his manhood.

"Edward, no," Bella panted, but her tone was not insistent enough and Edward continued to tempt fate by sliding against her. "Edward…" she warned him again.

"Baby…please. I can't…I can't stop now. Please, just let me feel you…just for a second…"

His desperate tone sounded foreign and far away to his own ears, but Edward felt like an abducted man held hostage by his own urges. He needed a release, but not just any release. He needed a release _this way_. He needed to be inside…

"Edward," Bella's voice sounded so small as it rose up from underneath him. "Please don't make me into a liar for wearing a white wedding dress."

The time it took for Edward to decipher the meaning of the words that Bella had spoken was enough of a reprieve for him to gain the control he needed to roll off of her.

And if he'd thought he'd felt guilty before for their temporary hiatus, it paled in comparison to hearing her timid little voice beg him not to take her virtue before it was his to take.

As he crept out of Bella's room, he knew that he couldn't put either of them in that position again.

And the look on his father's face when they crossed paths in the ill-lit hallway confirmed this.

'*'

The next morning, Edward was standing in the kitchen looking over the back lawn through the window. He'd had to wake up early to receive a delivery, and once it had arrived he'd remained in the kitchen waiting for Bella and thinking over what had happened the night before. It wasn't long before Bella came down to join him and he learned that his anxiety over how she would receive him after his inappropriate behavior was unnecessary. She walked right up to him and gave him a soft peck on the lips before crossing to the other side of the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

"I'm sorry," Edward spoke to her back as she faced away from him.

Her shoulders dropped by a minuscule amount, for she knew exactly what he was referencing. "I'm sorry, too."

"You did nothing wrong," Edward told her. "I know better than to put myself in that position, and I did it anyway. Thankfully one of us was strong enough to be sensible before it was too late."

"…barely," she whispered.

It wasn't the way Edward wanted to start off the first free day he had with Bella in over a week. Therefore, he shook off the feelings of wrongdoing and focused on what he had in store for the two of them.

"I have a surprise for you," he told her.

"What kind of surprise?" she asked, looking just as excited as he was to change the subject.

Just then the front door slammed and Rosalie appeared before them in the kitchen. "I've been standing out there knocking forever," she complained as she shook out her hair and placed her purse on the counter. "Hey, whose car is that in the driveway?"

"Rosalie!" Edward puffed in disapproval.

Bella turned toward Edward in shock. When he saw her expression, he couldn't help laughing.

"Did you buy me a car?" she asked with wide eyes.

"You bought _that_ car for Bella?" Rosalie was just as impressed. "Do me a favor. Next time you decide to buy another car, take Emmett with you. He could learn a thing or two about what kind of car a husband buys a wife. He keeps getting me minivans."

"Well, that's a practical vehicle with three…er, four kids," Edward gestured to her belly.

"Way to stick up for him, Edward," Rosalie smirked.

_Is that what he had been doing?_ Edward merely shrugged and grabbed Bella by the hand. "Let's go see your surprise, even though Rosalie ruined it."

"Oh. Sorry," she murmured.

"Next time, ring the doorbell," Edward said with forced hostility as he passed her on the way to the door.

"It's Saturday morning! I didn't want to wake Carlisle if he was still sleeping," Rosalie explained as she followed after the couple.

Edward eyed Bella carefully as she took in the car that sat in front of Rosalie's minivan in the driveway.

"Edward, you didn't!" she exclaimed, her hand to her chest. He couldn't tell if she was appalled or elated.

"It has an excellent safety rating and it has been well maintained," Edward said of the silver BMW M3 that was parked before them.

Bella went to the car and opened the driver-side door. "Oh, but it's a stick shift…"

"It's a sequential manual gearbox." Edward noticed the quizzical look Bella directed him and he added, "it's semi-automatic. All you have to do is touch a button. There's no clutch. You drive it like an automatic."

"Oh," Bella looked unsure.

"Want to take it for a test drive?" Edward held up the keys.

"Um…okay," Bella said, showing her excitement for the first time.

Rosalie admired the car from the edge of the driveway, giving Edward and Bella this moment to themselves.

"Thank you, Edward. It really is a beautiful car," Bella said. "But it looks really expensive."

"It's a 2008 and I didn't buy it. I just leased it," Edward explained. "Who knows if you're going to like it or not… or if in a year if we'll need something…bigger."

Edward watched Bella visibly swallow at the mention of what the near future could hold and he thought she was going to make a comment regarding it, but she didn't. She merely leaned over the console and kissed him gingerly. "Thank you," she said again. "I'm sure I'll love it."

And by the time they pulled to a stop in front of Bella's parents house for their last errand of the morning, Bella had made it clear that she not only loved her car; she adored her "bullet".

Before they were all the way out of the car, Charlie came out of the house, a low whistle marking his arrival.

"Well what do we have here?" he asked as he took in the new vehicle. "You let Bella drive your new toy? It must be love,." he said as he shook Edward's hand.

"Actually, it's Bella's car. But I'm hoping she'll let me drive it." Edward turned to wink at Bella and saw the nervous way she was eyeing her father for a reaction. He hated that she felt that she didn't deserve something of worth.

"Wow," Charlie couldn't take his eyes off the car. "Well what did you think, Bee? You like it?"

"I love it," Bella said. She gave Edward's hand a soft squeeze.

"Is it a stick shift?" Charlie asked upon closer inspection.

At his question, he and Edward got wrapped up in car speak and Bella excused herself to go into the house to see her mother.

After a peek under the hood and two trips around the block, Edward went into the house to join Bella and left Charlie outside to continue fawning over the car. A neighbor had stopped by to get a better look and already Charlie could expertly answer anything the man wanted to know.

Edward left Charlie to his car love and entered the house to find Bella and her mother engaged in a conversation regarding Bella's wedding dress. From what Edward could gather from what he'd heard as he walked through the foyer, the dress had arrived the day before and Renee had just picked it up from the post office that morning.

"She did a great job," Renee was saying of the dress's tailor. "You can't even see where she added fabric to make it longer."

"Oh…really?" Bella asked. Edward chuckled at how obvious she was. How could her mother not tell that she didn't want to wear that dress?

"Yes, and the vintage wash of the fabric came out beautifully."

"Vintage wash? What's that?"

"Well, older garments tend to yellow. You know that. Anyway, with the brocade and lace and beading, we could bleach it, so she gave it this treatment that turned the dress into a beautiful antique white…"

"Like, beige? The dress is beige?"

"Bella, don't act like that. The dress is absolutely breathtaking."

"But…I kind of wanted a white wedding dress, Mother."

"This is white, an antique white. And it's going to look so lovely against your skin tone," Renee spoke rapidly. "You would not believe the amount of work Marlene put into this dress. Everyone in Billings can't wait to see a picture of you in it."

"Oh." There was a long pause before Bella spoke again. "I just kind of had a different…I just imagined a white dress…but this is fine. This dress is fine."

"Oh, Bella. You're going to look so beautiful!" Renee squealed. "Now all you need to do is set the wedding date!"

Edward's heart sank as he listened to Bella acquiesce to her mother's wishes regarding her wedding dress. It saddened him, since not only did the dress now sound even less of something Bella wanted to wear, but also because Bella had been so giving of herself lately. She deserved to have whatever she wanted at her wedding, without a side serving of guilt.

"Is it safe to come in?" Edward called, making a show of preserving the tradition of not seeing the wedding dress before the wedding.

"Oh, Edward," Renee came bustling out of the living room. "You didn't peek, did you?" she smiled at him.

Edward smiled in return. And really, it was his intention to just play nice – to simply back off and let Bella work through this in her own way. But then he saw the disappointment in her eyes, and he just couldn't keep his mouth from moving.

"Peek at what?" he asked.

"Bella's wedding dress arrived today," Renee pretended to whisper.

Edward frowned. "But that's impossible." He looked over at Bella and then back at her mother. "She only just picked it out the other day. She hasn't even had a fitting."

"What?" Renee looked over at Bella for an explanation. "What's he talking about, Bella?"

In turn, Bella looked to Edward. "I don't know." Her expression told him to abort this topic of conversation quickly.

"The dress you picked out," Edward kept nodding as if he expected Bella to pick up where he left off.

"B-But I'm wearing my mother's dress," Bella said.

"Oh," Edward mustered up a confused look. "But you said you chose another dress and you planned to wear your own. Isn't that why you went through all those catalogs with my mom-"

"Edward!" Bella shouted to stop him.

"What's going on?" Renee asked the two of them.

"Mom, I…"

But Edward knew that Bella wouldn't really say how she was feeling. So he did it for her.

"Renee, Bella doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but she really wanted to wear a dress she loves on our wedding day. And because I love her, I want her to have the wedding of her dreams. I told her that she should just tell you how she was feeling, that you would understand, but she was just too afraid of hurting your feelings. But you wouldn't want her to wear a dress she wasn't comfortable in to her own wedding, would you?" Edward was sure that Renee would see the undue pressure she was putting on her daughter and agree with him.

So he was quite surprised when she burst into tears.

But less surprised when Bella did also.

And of course, that is the exact moment when Charlie decided to walk in.

"Hey, Renee, did Edward tell you about the new…What's going on here?" Charlie looked over at Edward since he seemed to be the only one able to speak without sobbing.

"Wedding stuff," Edward shrugged, hoping that would be enough for Charlie.

"Mom, I'm sorry," Bella wailed.

Renee made a show of backing away from Bella. She tried to say that it was okay, but her motions looked more like 'leave me alone' than anything else.

"Just give her some time to get used to the idea," Edward whispered to Bella. He stepped back quickly when she gave him a venomous glare and watched without another word as she walked back to her bedroom to get the items she needed.

Renee remained silently inconsolable despite Bella's attempts and Charlie seemed to be a little put out that his wife was unhappy, even if it was just over 'wedding stuff' as Edward had said.

Giving up the feat of trying to persuade her mother into talking, Bella led Edward back to her waiting car, but instead of getting in on the driver side, she opened the passenger door and sat down, too upset to drive.

"Bella-"

"Do_ not_ talk to me right now," she told him through clenched teeth. "I cannot believe you did that." That sentence brought with it a fresh set of tears.

"Why are you mad at me?" Edward asked. "I _helped_ you!"

"Yeah, you helped me crush my mother's heart to pieces, that's what you did," Bella sniffed.

"Bella, I overheard you two talking about the dress, and she wasn't even listening to you. You tried to get her to hear you and she wouldn't, so I…"

"You can't do that," Bella turned to him. "Just because you see that I'm not getting something I want, you can't just step in and fix everything! I mean, this didn't have to be that big of a deal, Edward," Bella raised her voice slightly. "Maybe I could have given my mother this one thing and everything would have been fine and everybody would have been happy."

"Except for you, sweetheart."

"I would have gotten over it."

"And so will your mother."

"Edward," Bella drew a heavy sigh. "You don't understand."

"You're right. I don't," Edward agreed. "Why is it okay for me to buy you a car, and to tell my mother to back off on the wedding dress, yet it's not okay for me to step in when someone is obviously taking advantage of you."

"How can you talk about my mother that way?" Bella choked back a sob.

"Oh, good grief," Edward sighed. This conversation was going absolutely nowhere and he realized, albeit a little too late, that it would have been better if he'd heeded Bella's initial warning to not speak at all.

Yet it was difficult to listen to her tearful gasps and cries as she leaned against the door, as far away from him as she could possibly sit. He made one final attempt to reason with her, but Bella was beyond trying to engage him, and when they made it back to his house, Bella was out of the car and inside before he'd even engaged the parking brake.

It was days like these that made Edward understand why men turned to alcohol. But then he remembered his brother's recent accident and rescinded that thought.

"You look like a man with a tale to tell," Carlisle said as he came and took a seat beside his son in the parlor.

Edward looked up at his father and tried to smile, but the muscles fought against the contradiction.

"It's been a weird day," he finally offered.

"Rosalie was by earlier. She was all aflutter with the car that you got Bella."

"Oh."

"A BMW?"

"Yeah."

"Did Bella like it?"

"Yeah." Edward thought for a moment. "At least I _think _she likes I'd actually need a mindreading cap to know for sure. I mean, Dad, how are you supposed to know if women mean what they say when they say what they mean?"

"What?" Carlisle put down the iced tea he'd been drinking. "So she said she didn't like the car…or she did?"

"This isn't about the car," Edward grimaced. "Or maybe it is. I don't know."

"Son?"

"Earlier this week, Bella and I talked about how impractical it is for her to wait around for me to get finished with work before she's able to do all the things she needs to do – errands and stuff. And with the wedding coming up, she'd need to get things and whatnot. So I told her I was buying her a car. She put up a little fuss, not wanting me to spend so much money on her, but when I explained my reasoning, she seemed to get it and I thought she was genuinely happy about the car."

"But she isn't?"

"She seems to be. But then, along the same lines, she was very upset about the wedding dress her mother had picked out for her. We had a conversation about when to let your own desires be heard and I told her that a wedding was one of those times. Anyway, she agreed with me and said that she was going to tell her mother that she wanted to get her own dress. But when the time came, she couldn't do it, so I did it for her."

"You told her mother she didn't like her wedding dress?"

"I just said that Bella wants to wear her own dress!" Edward jumped up defensively. "Why is that such a big deal?"

"Was Renee upset?"

"Very," Edward muttered as he took his seat once again.

"I suppose that was the big deal, then."

"But Bella knew her mother would be upset. That was why she didn't want to tell her mother how she felt. But in my telling her, I became the bad guy. Not Bella. So I don't understand why Bella is mad at me."

"Edward, you told her mother that she didn't like her mother's wedding dress. That doesn't exactly leave Bella implication-free."

"Great," Edward slumped down in regret. "So I was wrong."

"Now, I didn't say that," Carlisle wavered as he picked up his tea once again. "It's not always as cut and dry as right and wrong. Just because Bella may or may not have gotten angry with you, it doesn't mean your actions were necessarily wrong or necessarily right.

"Take your mother and me for example. You saw how angry she got with me for not telling her about Jasper."

Edward nodded. He was still uncomfortable at having witnessed that.

"And she had some very valid points, and I'm sure in her mind, she maintains that she is right, and that I should have told her."

"But you don't think so," Edward concluded.

"I knew she wouldn't agree with me when I made the decision I made, and if I had to do it all over again, knowing what I know, I would have decided the same exact thing. That doesn't mean that it didn't bother me to quarrel with your mother, nor do I take any comfort in thinking I'm right. But I have peace that I made the best decision for her, and because she loves me, in time she'll either agree with me or accept that I did what I did out of love and for the greater good."

"And that's why I told Renee about the dress," Edward reiterated. "I heard Bella struggling and I knew she would give in and regret it. And then when I saw that look on her face… I know her mother isn't going to disown her over a wedding dress, and Bella knows that to. I guess she's just used to sacrificing her wants for the will of everyone else."

"Just give her some time. And if she truly feels that she wants to wear her mother's dress, she'll tell you as much."

Edward was almost positive that wouldn't happen, but he agreed with his father anyway.

"Speaking of things that are hard to hear," Carlisle clasped and unclasped his hands nervously. "What you said about Jasper in the hospital…the drinking…"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Dad. I shouldn't have said that while things were so up in the air," Edward apologized.

"But you were right," Carlisle admitted. "Jasper has some issues that he has yet to face up to, and I know now that I can't sit around and wait for him to come to that realization on his own." Carlisle turned to look Edward in the eye. "I've recommended treatment for him as a condition of his continued employment at the vineyard, in another job capacity, of course."

"Really, Dad?"

Carlisle nodded. "Jasper has always been such a volatile person…weaker. Not in stature, but emotionally. He's always felt that he didn't measure up to either you or Emmett. Your mother and I always chalked it up to middle child syndrome, but as he got older, that ceased to be a viable excuse as we watched it cripple his growth in all areas of his life. He was so afraid of failing that he refused to even try and your mother and I just sat back and let him live like that."

"That was his choice, Dad. You can't take responsibility for that," Edward argued.

"Directly, no. But indirectly, we didn't have to make his complacency so comfortable. And now that he has a wife to look after, it's a little harder to force his hand to do what he needs to do, but the choice is his. If he agrees to treatment for alcoholism, he can continue to maintain his livelihood and provide for his family. And if he chooses not to…"

"Then he has to look at Alice everyday and live with the fact that he chose alcohol over her," Edward finished.

The two men sat in silence for a few minutes before Edward made a move to leave the room. He was eager to see if Bella was ready to speak with him yet.

"And Edward?" his father touched him on the arm to gain his attention once again.

"Yeah?"

Carlisle motioned for Edward to sit back down, and when Edward did so, it was apparent that his father had something else parental to say.

"Son, I've decided not to allow Bella to stay with us beyond the six weeks that she's helping out your mother."

"What? Why?" Edward was instantly agitated. He'd been looking forward to having Bella with him leading up to the wedding. "We need the time together."

"And she is welcome to be here as often as you and she would like. But she cannot stay the night." Carlisle didn't give Edward the opportunity to deny the obvious. "It is no secret within this family that Emmett and Rosalie did not conceive their first child during their isolation period."

"What's that got to do with me and Bella? We're not like them," Edward huffed.

"Edward, I saw you come out of Bella's room last night looking very…toyed with."

"We didn't have sex," Edward said quickly.

"I believe you," Carlisle said. "But only because you also looked much too frustrated to be sexually satisfied.

"Dad…" the last thing Edward wanted to talk about was sex in any way, shape or form, with his father.

"Look, Edward, we've been sitting here talking about doing what's best for those we love, and as your father I'm telling you that it's best not to tempt yourself in that way, because unlike a lot of other things, sex does _not_ get easier to withstand."

Edward felt like a snappish child as he fought against giving his father verbal agreement. But on this matter, he knew his father was right.

"And one more thing…"

Edward groaned. _What now?_

"I think it would be best if you left Bella alone for the remainder of the evening. Let her work out her own feelings on the dress issue. She'll come to you by the morning."

And on that matter, Edward _hoped_ that his father was right.


	27. Chapter 26 Merging Boundaries

**Merging Boundaries. **_The process of two very different lives, wills and ideals moving toward one central existence; the concept of knowing when to stand firm and when to compromise; when to hold on, and when to let go._

* * *

Bella strained her ears to hear the sound of Edward and his father concluding their conversation in the parlor at the front of the house, but from where she stood, near the kitchen, it was almost impossible to hear anything.

She paced nervously as she avoided looking at the stairs. She knew if she went up to the haven of her temporary room, she wouldn't come down again; she'd chicken out.

But she'd made a promise to Edward the last time they'd argued. And even though she wasn't very happy with him at the moment, she wasn't about to go back on a promise.

She wasn't going to shut him out, she wasn't going to run, and she wasn't going to give him the silent treatment.

With her eyes focused on the tiled entry way, Bella could hear the sound of his body parting the air as he walked toward her. She looked up to see Edward watching her with a cautious yet curious look in his eye.

"Edward, can I talk to you?" she found her voice.

"Of course," he responded immediately and led Bella to the formal dining room; it was empty and the furthest room from the stairs, thus giving them privacy.

While Edward took a seat, Bella remained standing. She fidgeted with the back of the dining chair for a few moments as she tried to come to terms with how she was going to begin.

"I-I'm horrified. I don't even know what to say," she started.

"I don't understand, Bella. We talked about this," Edward reacted. "You act like I made this all up on my own. Did you forget that I said I'd build on the land and you'd talk to your mother about wearing your own wedding dress?"

"No, I didn't forget. But we also talked about your land, but I didn't go charging over to your brothers' to tell them that you had every right to build on your land and therefore they needed to just get over it." Bella avoided looking at Edward as she spoke.

"Bella," Edward paused to exhale. "I was _helping_ you. I heard you try to tell your mother what you wanted and she just kept talking over you. And then you started to back down. I couldn't let you do that."

"Why?" Bella faced him then. "This wasn't a hill to die on, Edward. If my mother was that intent upon me wearing her dress then…"

"Okay," Edward relented. "If, now that your mother knows how you feel, you think it would be better to let her have her way, then I will go up to your parents tomorrow, apologize to your mother and tell her that you've changed your mind and that you'd like to wear her dress after all."

"You're going to apologize to my mother?" Bella looked accepting of the idea.

"Sure," Edward shrugged.

"Tomorrow?"

"Right after church."

Bella nodded, but she didn't look pleased with the outcome. "It's late," she finally said. "I'm…I'm going to head up to bed."

Edward nodded. It was obvious that she was still upset with him. "I'm sorry I hurt your mother's feelings," he apologized.

"Thank you," she whispered. She hated how unsettled she felt even though Edward said he was going to right everything the next day. She was glad that he was going to apologize to her mother and she was happy he was going to do it right away. But she wasn't happy about the last part of his pledge.

"Edward?" she stopped him before he could leave the room. "Maybe an apology is enough?"

Edward raised an eyebrow in wonder as he appraised her. "What are you saying?"

"Well…since she already knows I don't want to wear the dress…I mean, maybe if you just apologized for how you said it…then that should be sufficient." By the expression on Edward's face, Bella could tell that he wasn't fond of what she'd just said. "Or not," she added.

"You're not being fair, Bella."

"You think I should offer to pay her back for what she spent on shipping the dress?" Bella was confused.

"I meant that you're not being fair to _me._"

"Oh?" Bella frowned as she tried to understand what Edward was talking about. _How was she being unfair to him?_

"First, you tell me how you don't want to wear your mother's dress. Then you agree that you're going to tell her. Then, when I tell her for you, you turn on me and decide you're going to wear the dress after all. And in the next breath, you're wanting me to apologize to your mother for hurting her feelings, but you'd like to reap the benefits of what I said by not wearing the dress."

"And that's unfair?" Bella asked softly.

"Yes, it's unfair, because you're not being honest. You're taking out your anger on me, when really, you're angry with yourself because you know that you could have avoided all of this turmoil if you'd just spoken up in the first place."

"Edward Cullen!" Bella raised her voice. "I did _not_ tell you to say anything to my mother! What's unfair is you turning this around and making it my fault!"

"I just want you to admit that you're glad that I said something to your mother."

"I will admit no such thing. You hurt my mother's feelings."

In an immature standoff, Edward and Bella stared at one another from their respective sides of the large dining room table; each one waiting for the other to acquiesce. When it became apparent that that wasn't going to happen, Bella turned and went up the stairs.

Carlisle was standing at the top of the staircase when Edward walked up minutes later. The two men shared no words, but Carlisle gave great effort to subduing a smile as he walked back into the bedroom he shared with his wife.

"What's funny?" Esme asked when she saw her husband's expression. Though their disagreement over Jasper had caused tension in their relationship, they still regarded one another benevolently.

"Those two," Carlisle thumbed toward the hallway. "I don't remember it being this much fun with Jasper and Emmett."

"Are they quarrelling again?" Esme asked.

Carlisle swatted the air, telling her it was nothing serious. "They're just testing and forging new boundaries. It's all very frustrating and intriguing…"

"And _passionate_," Esme raised her eyebrows at her husband.

"Which is another reason I'll be listening for creaking floorboards tonight," Carlisle smiled.

But there were no sounds of lovers tiptoeing across the hall in the darkness. Bella stayed in her room, daring Edward to set foot over the threshold. His words continued to incense her, well into the morning, and by the time the sun peaked over the horizon, exhaustion fueled her irritation.

Since Carlisle was home, as he usually was on Sunday mornings, Bella left tending Esme to him, and she went downstairs to start breakfast. Halfway through the first batch of eggs, Edward came downstairs and took a seat at the table. He didn't speak to her, nor did she to him.

After awhile, Esme and Carlisle joined them and their attempts to ignore the opposition only worked to exacerbate it that much more.

"Will you two be riding with us to church this morning, or driving on your own?" Esme asked. Bella noticed there was a hint of humor on her face as she spoke.

Edward shrugged off her question and Bella remained silent.

"We're having your parents over today after service, remember Bella?" Carlisle questioned.

At the mention of her parents, Bella glanced over at Edward and saw that he was looking at her as well. However, the moment their eyes met, he looked away. Bella looked down at the table. It was the day they were supposed to announce their wedding date to their parents, a day that was supposed to be steeped in happiness and goodwill, and yet they weren't even on speaking terms.

"Did you have something in mind for lunch?" Bella asked Esme, feeling disrespectful in her continued silence.

"I thawed some flank steaks in the refrigerator overnight. I'm going to put them in a marinade while we're at church and then Carlisle will grill them for me when we return. Your dad once told me he loves flank steak," Esme answered.

"He does," Bella feigned a smile. She felt ridiculous for discussing these details as if all was well, when really, she and Edward were in an argument; an argument that he was making no move to end, like he usually did. She looked over at him just as he stood and returned his plate to the counter.

"We'll just ride with you," Edward told his parents on his way out of the kitchen.

And just like breakfast, the ride to church was silent and awkward. Bella stared out the window and interjected an answer only when she was spoken to. She was so nervous that Edward's parents would call them out on their avoidance of one another, that by the time they pulled into the church parking lot, she was trembling with anxiety.

Fortunately, Carlisle and Esme held their tongues and took their seats in their usual section, in their usual order, with Bella seated next to Esme, and Edward seated next to Bella.

Still, no words were spoken, but that fact was immediately overshadowed when Bella saw her parents enter the sanctuary. Real or imagined, she wasn't sure, but it appeared as though her mother didn't even try to search for her in the crowd. Instead, she simply took a seat and took out the hymnal from the pouch where it was stashed on the backside of the row in front of her.

Bella felt her eyes well up with tears at the idea of being snubbed by her mother. She inconspicuously tried to dab at the moisture in her eyes, but when she looked up, she saw that Edward was watching her out of the corner of his eye. He reached forward and grabbed a tissue from the box underneath the pew and handed it over silently.

That gesture alone made Bella want to burst out in sobs, but she dared not. She graciously accepted the tissue and willed herself to settle down and relax. She tried to focus on the sermon, but all she could concentrate on was the fact that Edward was stoic beside her. There were no loving taps, no soft brushes against her hand and no little doodles on his Sunday bulletin.

Bella's back and neck muscles were sore from the stress of the situation, and by the time the church service finally ended, she felt frozen where she sat. But that didn't stop her from quickly standing up when Edward crossed over her, left their row and headed toward her mother.

"We'll be leaving soon," Esme said in warning as she reached out and touched Bella's hand.

"Oh, okay. I'll just let Edward know," Bella stated. As quickly as she could, she approached the area where Edward and her mother stood. She noticed her father shifting from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable.

"Hello, Edward. How are you this morning?" she heard her mother greet him.

"I'm well, thank you," Edward said formally. He nodded in Charlie's direction and then returned his attention to Renee. "I was actually hoping I could speak to you before we went back to my parents' house for lunch. About yesterday…" Edward paused.

Bella made it to his side at that moment and slipped her hand into his right before usurping the conversation.

"Actually, Mom," Bella leaned into Edward as she spoke. "I owe you an apology. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner to avoid getting your hopes up, not to mention all the time and money you spent shipping…"

"You could have just told me you didn't like my dress, Bella," Renee said. She tried to smile, but it was unconvincing. She truly looked hurt.

"It wasn't about liking or not liking the dress, Mom. It was just about how I knew I would feel wearing it and what I'd envisioned…gosh, this sounds so selfish…"

Renee shook her head and reached out to touch Bella's hand. "No, honey, it's fine. I understand."

"Do you? _Really?_" Bella asked. "Because last night you seemed-"

"I was just caught off guard, that's all." Renee looked over at Edward. "And a little…embarrassed."

"Renee, I'm sorry that I wasn't more…" Edward spoke up.

"No, sweetheart, you were fine. It's all fine," Renee said assuredly.

Bella knew her mother well, and from the expression on her face, Bella could tell that while her mother wasn't necessarily fine, she wasn't holding a grudge either. And regardless of how brief the conversation had been, as Bella stood in the back row of the church, she realized that now that everything was out in the open, the outcome of the dress debacle had been settled.

A slight squeezing of her hand alerted Bella to the fact that she had more than one apology to make that morning.

"Edward," she breathed out his name as she turned to face him.

"Bella," he spoke at the same time. He neared her and rested his forehead against hers, saying all that he needed to say with that gesture.

"Um, you two?" Charlie cleared his throat. "Not in the church."

Edward and Bella stepped away from one another quickly as if they'd forgotten where they were, but as soon as they were seated in the backseat of Carlisle's Mercedes, they once again only had eyes for one another.

"I'm sorry about last night. You were right," Bella whispered. "I knew I should have said something earlier, but honestly…sometimes I questioned if I really had the right to. I mean, dresses are expensive and if my mother giving me hers was my parents' way of telling me that they couldn't afford to buy one…"

"I should have been more understanding about that. But Bella, you're only getting married once. Your dress should be your own. I'm sure before all is said and done, we'll compromise on a lot of things, but your dress…"

"You don't have to convince me, Edward. I agree with you. I just wish I hadn't caused such a mess."

"It's not all your fault. Your mother should have asked you what you wanted in the first place and I shouldn't have blindsided either of you the way I did." Edward shifted and lowered his voice even lower than he was already speaking. "I just want you to realize that I'm _always _on your side, Bella_,_ and I'd like for you to be on mine."

The couple sat as close as their seatbelts would allow. Their hushed verbal exchanges and furtive touches communicated that their minds were only on one another, and not the senior Cullens in the front seats, who were surreptitiously listening as well as their ears would allow.

So engaged were Edward and Bella that they didn't initially notice the additional vehicles parked in the wraparound driveway when they were parked.

"What took so long?" Emmett asked as he exited the minivan and walked over to his parents.

Bella looked over at Edward in surprise. They had planned to have a nice quiet lunch with their parents and announce their wedding date and the building of their home. Now it looked like Emmett and his family had planned a visit, along with…Alice and _Jasper_?

Bella hadn't seen Jasper since before his accident, and it was heart wrenching to take in the near-broken man before her. His physical injuries weren't evidently devastating, but the emotional toll it had taken on him was apparent. He was pale and frail and his eyes looked wild with guilt.

"Jasper, how are you?" Bella asked the first chance she got.

"Oh you know. Fair to middling," he answered with a shallow smile.

Bella noticed how he stepped closer to Alice as he spoke, and when her eyes fell to his bride, Bella nearly gasped. Alice looked horrible! She had dark circles under her bloodshot eyes, her skin looked dry and weathered and her dark hair lacked its usual luster.

"Alice?" Bella immediately felt ashamed at the concern that laced her words. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm-"

"Great. She's great," Jasper answered, giving her a little squeeze as he wrapped his arms around her.

Carlisle moved in then to speak to them and Bella fell into step with Edward.

"Well…I guess they'll figure out something is up when the construction trucks pull up to the lot tomorrow," Edward muttered. What he wasn't saying was that it looked like their announcements were going to be pushed to the back burner once again as an impromptu family celebration looked as if it were about to commence.

"Jasper and Alice don't look well," Bella said quietly so that only Edward could hear.

"No alcohol, remember?" Edward reminded.

Bella didn't know any people personally who suffered from alcohol addiction, but if what she'd read and heard secondhand had any validity, Alice and Jasper were in for a long and bumpy ride.

Before long, the Swans arrived and everyone filed into the house for lunch. The men parted off toward the back deck, where Carlisle fired up the outdoor grill. Bella followed the women into the kitchen, where Esme was promptly relegated to a nearby chair while everyone else carried out the planning of the meal around her.

As they worked, Bella kept trying to engage Alice in conversation, but she was quiet and evasive, only speaking on surface matters, like what the humid weather was doing to her hair and how she was going to try planting a fall garden. Anytime the subject of Jasper and his recovery came up, Alice would clam up and change the subject. It only took a few tries before everyone realized she didn't want to talk about it. And when Jasper came into the kitchen under the guise of "learning a thing or two about what a group of women do in the kitchen", Bella wondered if he really cared about twice baked potatoes, or if he simply wanted to monitor the conversation. Whatever his motive, Alice was even more tightlipped than before once her husband arrived.

Even though they tried to mask it, Alice and Jasper's obvious discomfort was making Bella uneasy, and at the first opportunity presented, she slipped out of the kitchen with the excuse of "powdering her nose", just to get a break from the tension.

On her way down the hall and away from the sounds of family gathering, Bella passed by the room that housed the plans to the house that would someday belong to her and Edward. She peeked in and noticed a rolled set tucked in the corner. Quietly, she entered and picked up the blueprints, careful not to rip them as she removed the rubber band and laid them flat on the table. She tilted her head to the side as she took in the layout of the landscaping, as well as the first floor. It all seemed so vast, so elaborate and so much more than she'd ever dreamed of.

A soft sigh escaped Bella as she looked at the common areas of the house, and those areas that would be sanctified for just her and Edward, namely the master bedroom and its adjoining bathroom. She closed her eyes and tried to envision the light woods and crisp tones of a French country bedroom; the intimacy of the space…

"Hey! What are you doing in here?"

Bella was startled out of her reverie and turned to face the voice with wide eyes, even though she'd recognized the intonation immediately.

Edward stood beaming back at her like the Cheshire cat.

"You scared me," Bella stated the obvious.

"Sorry," Edward said, looking almost apologetic. "What are you doing?"

"Just looking at the house," Bella whispered, reiterating that the building project was still a secret shared between her and Edward.

"_Our_ house?" Edward emphasized as he neared Bella and slipped his arms around her waist. "I was hoping we'd get to tell our parents about it today, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. I don't know why Em and Jasper are here."

"It's okay. We can just tell them later. We can do it separately if we have to," Bella said.

"They might just figure it out on their own before we get a chance. The contractors are getting started in the morning."

"Wow," Bella exhaled excitedly. "It's hard to believe that it's really happening."

"Well, believe it," Edward said quietly as he gazed into her eyes. "I'm so glad you talked me into building on the land."

"I didn't really talk you into it."

"In your own way, you did," Edward insisted. And then he dropped his voice to a low murmur. "Thank you."

Bella looked up to see the intense way he was looking at her, and if she hadn't been so captivated by the stare she wouldn't have been able to stand up underneath it.

Making no pretense at anything less, Edward encased Bella's mouth in an open-mouth kiss, his tongue reaching hers before their lips fully connected.

"Um, Uncle Edward?" Emma giggled as she stepped beside him. "Nana said that it's time to eat."

"Tell her we'll be right there," Edward told his niece.

A trail of chuckles followed the little girl as she retreated down the hall and after stealing a couple more kisses, Edward and Bella weren't long after her.

"Okay, have a seat you two," Esme ordered like a woman very much in charge of an event. Bella and Edward quickly did as they were told, before joining hands with those seated next to them and bowing their heads in grace.

As soon as Carlisle concluded the prayer, the table erupted into a bout of activity. Emmett and Rosalie struggled to get their children under control as they battled over shredded cheese to top their potatoes, Charlie and Carlisle spoke of the church's announcement of needing a new roof, Renee complimented Alice on her attire and Esme stared at Edward and Bella in proud fondness.

"No!" Emma's voice could be heard over everyone else's as she yelled at her younger brother for placing a half-eaten piece of meat on her plate.

"But I don't like it," Elijah protested.

"I don't care! You took a bite out of it. I don't want your germs!" she cried as she threw the piece of meat back at her brother.

"Emma," Emmett reached across the table and touched his daughter's hand. "Settle down."

"But, Daddy! His mouth touched that! Now I'm gonna get sick!"

"You can't get sick from that," Elijah rebutted.

"Yes you can!" Emma shrieked.

Before Rosalie could stop the next outburst, Bella watched as Elijah turned to his Uncle Edward and asked for his input.

"You can't get sick from mouth germs, can you?" he questioned.

Edward looked confused for a moment, not understanding why Elijah had chosen to single him out with his query.

"Um…yeah, actually, you can," Edward said after a moment.

"But…" Elijah looked as if his uncle had deceived him. "Emma said she saw you put your tongue in Aunt Bella's mouth. Why would you want to make her sick?"

Bella's heart might have been warmed at hearing her soon-to-be-nephew refer to her as 'Aunt Bella' if she hadn't been overwhelmingly mortified at having an intimate moment with Edward exposed so publicly – and in front of her father, no less!

There was a suffocating silence as she and Edward struggled with how to address the situation without making it into a big ordeal.

"Well…" Emmett cleared his throat awkwardly. "I guess that's as good a segue as any for your announcement."

Bella noticed that Emmett was looking at Edward; she glanced at him as well to see if he seemed any wiser than she was regarding what Emmett was referring to. She watched as Edward gawked at his brother a moment before slowly turning his head to look at everyone seated at the table, his eyes finally landing on his mother.

"You know?" he asked her.

Bella frowned. _What did Esme know?_

"A little birdie might have mentioned something about a very important upcoming event…" Esme winked.

Edward looked over at Emmett in irritation.

"Hey, don't look at me. I only mentioned it to my wife…" Emmett defended himself.

"Sorry, Edward. He didn't tell me that it was a secret," Rosalie's expression was contorted with remorse.

Just when Bella felt that she was going to burst from curiosity, Edward leaned over and whispered a revelation into her ear.

Immediately her eyes flashed to her mother's. Bella kept her eyes locked on her mother's face as Edward made their announcement.

"Bella and I have set a date for the wedding," he stated.

Bella watched as her mother's eyes grew big and shined with excitement as she leaned forward to hear just when the date was. But then that eagerness morphed into one of confusion and then hurt as she realized that no one else seemed to need to hear the date. Everyone else knew.

"November fourth," Edward concluded. "Our house should be completed by then."

Suddenly everyone started talking at once and Bella made no effort to try and follow it all. Instead, she watched her mother and took in the liquid glistening in Renee's eyes.

"Sorry, Mom," Bella told her. "We were trying to wait until we could tell you both, together," she gestured at each set of parents.

Renee shook off Bella's words as if they were of no consequence. Then she jumped up from her seat, crossed over to Bella and enveloped her daughter in a hug. There was a reverent length of stillness as everyone took in the emotional moment between mother and daughter. And then Esme snapped her hands together and gasped, breaking the quiet.

"The wedding is in less than five months! We have a lot of work to do girls!" she spoke to the women at the table.

"Esme," Carlisle's tone was warning. "You're recovering."

"Oh pish-posh," she shooed him playfully. "My mouth and my hands are fine. I can get a lot done with just those resources alone."

For some reason, all three of the Cullen boys blushed at their mother's words, and Edward hastened to move the conversation forward. Charlie and Carlisle delved right in, wanting Edward to clarify with certainty the amount of time it was going to take to build the house. Emmett interjected every now and then and Jasper just sat back quietly and watched the conversation volley around him.

The women moved from the dining room, to the kitchen and then later to the sitting room where they pummeled Bella with question after question to get the wedding plans moving along.

"Have you chosen colors?" Rosalie asked.

"I have that lovely yellow ribbon, remember?" Renee spoke up, then, catching herself, she added, "but you don't have to use it."

"Actually, I really like lavender and sage," Bella said.

"Oh, that is a beautiful choice for a fall wedding," Esme agreed.

"Did you already get your dress?" Rosalie asked.

"Well…" Bella again took in her mother's expression. "I haven't actually contacted anyone yet. I found the one that I like, but the store is in Wisconsin. I can send them my measurements and order it, but I'd actually have to buy it without trying it on and if it didn't fit…"

Esme was already shaking her head with a solution. "You can return anything, sweetheart. Just order the dress, don't let them make any modifications to it, and we'll take it to a tailor in Port Angeles. But we have to get right on it. It takes a few weeks to get those dresses in."

"I still have the invitation samples back at the house, Bella-" Renee began.

"I have a lot of contacts for invitations," Esme interrupted. "Businesses contact me all the time wanting to use the vineyard as a backdrop for ads and invitations. I could get a great deal on those."

"Oh, uh…" Bella began to get overwhelmed.

"And the children's processional," Rosalie spoke up regarding the Cannabean custom of having children walk down the aisle before the bride and groom, "I could help you organize that. Do you know if you'd like to have just the family or the extended family? I know Emma and Abby would love whatever you decide."

"Renee, we'll have to plan a bridal tea," Esme said. "We can have it here if you'd like."

"Well, I was thinking that we could have it on the sun porch," Renee answered mildly.

"Will that seat fifty?" Esme asked.

"Fifty?" Bella and her mother asked in unison.

While Esme launched into her explanation for such a high number, Bella noticed for the first time that Alice was lurking on the perimeter of the room looking as if she wanted to be swallowed up by the carpet.

When Alice noticed Bella watching her, she smiled unconvincingly and moved further into the room. Bella waited until her mother, Esme and Rosalie had entrenched themselves in a discussion about nonporous aisle runners before getting up and walking over to where Alice stood.

"You look tired. Are you feeling all right?" Bella asked.

"I'm fine. Jasper isn't sleeping so well at night and sometimes he wakes me up, but I can't really complain. I'm not the one who suffered a concussion, scalp laceration and broken clavicle, you know?" Alice shrugged.

"Is Jasper still dizzy and disoriented? I know concussions can be pretty scary."

"He's doing much better, thank goodness."

"I'm sorry I haven't come by yet. I want to help out with dinner, or housecleaning or whatever I can."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I know you've been busy with Esme, and honestly, Jasper is doing fine. He doesn't like to move around too much, so we spend a lot of quiet time together. It's been nice." The tone of her voice, however, betrayed her words.

"Well if you think of anything you need-"

"Bella, you're planning a wedding and setting up a home. It's not like you have all this extra time on your hands to help me out," Alice stated. "Besides, like I said, we're doing well. Just this," Alice gestured to Esme and company, "getting out of the house helps a lot. Jasper's moods are much better when he gets out a bit."

"Is he getting depressed?"

Alice looked at Bella indignantly. "What? No! I mean, why…Why would you ask me that?"

Bella recoiled at the change in Alice's demeanor. "I didn't mean anything by it. You just mentioned his moods-"

"I meant he was happier when he doesn't have to sit at home all day. That's all."

"Of course. Right," Bella said quietly. She returned her attention back to the trio of wedding planners and watched the expression on her mother's face as Esme began speaking of importing flowers and shrubs in for the wedding.

Bella knew that look. Her mother felt like an outsider to everything Esme was talking about. She felt like a spectator instead of a participant…like the mother-in-law instead of the mother of the bride. Bella knew this, because if she was in her mother's position, that's exactly how _she_ would have felt.

She was still trying to figure out how to reign in the mothers, when out of the corner of her eye, Bella noticed Alice slink back towards the wall, and when she glanced over her shoulder she could see that it was because Edward had come into the room.

"Can I steal Bella for a moment?" he asked. Bella didn't wait for anyone's response before she nearly jumped on his back and demanded he gallop her right out of the room.

"Is anything wrong?" she asked when they were alone in the hallway.

"I should ask you that. You look like you're about to burst into tears," Edward said.

And quite honestly, that's exactly how Bella felt.

"Edward…I have a feeling things are about to get very out of hand," Bella hinted.

"Nope. We're not going to let that happen," he stated optimistically.

"I'm not sure how much of it we can actually control. For instance, I can tell my mom is feeling really left out. Like, your whole family knew about the wedding date, and my parents didn't because I thought we would tell them together…"

"I'm sorry about that. I only told Emmett and I told him not to tell my parents. I didn't even think that Rosalie would say something about it."

"No, it's okay, Edward. I'm not blaming you. I'm just telling you how this looks to my mom. She thinks that I'm doing this without her; that I _want_ to do this without her."

"Bella, she doesn't think that. She knows-"

"Edward, please don't be upset, but I think I need to go back home before the wedding. I know what you said about us making decisions for the two of us, but I honestly think it _is_ better for us if I don't live here until we get married. My parents need this time to adjust…and so do I."

Edward nodded as he reached up and ran the back of his fingers lightly against Bella's cheek. He looked as if he was internally debating about whether or not to say something, and then decided against it.

"I understand," he simply said.

Bella felt as if a thousand weights had been lifted from her shoulders once she'd voiced her opinion on the matter of the live-in. In actuality, she had never wanted such an arrangement, but was afraid that Edward would mistake her reluctance for rejection. On the contrary, Bella knew that in the short months leading up to the wedding, she would be able to use the time to end her expedition as Isabella Marie Swan, daughter of Charlie and Renee Swan, and begin her journey as Isabella Marie Cullen, wife of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

Armed with a fresh wave of confidence after talking with Edward, Bella re-entered the sitting room to find her mother standing in preparation of taking leave.

"We'll be back later for the evening service," Renee said.

Bella could tell her mother was frazzled from all the wedding information, so as they stood at the door to say their goodbyes for the afternoon, Bella hugged her mother and whispered as she did so, "Esme has a doctor appointment tomorrow, and she'll probably be cleared of her bed rest, which means I'll probably be coming back home this week. We'll look over the invitations then."

And immediately, the usual light of happiness returned to Renee's eyes.

'*'

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch, with no more wedding plans spewed forth from Esme. Bella suspected that Edward might have mentioned something to his mother when he'd helped her back up the stairs that evening, because right before her final goodnight, Esme had mentioned how she needed to make sure her desire to be a mother-of-the-bride didn't infringe upon the rights of the _actual_ mother-of-the-bride. Bella had simply smiled in appreciation of Esme's words before letting her know that there were plenty of tasks for everyone to share, she just needed time to sit down and write out what they were. And that is exactly what Bella did later that night.

While Edward and his parents had turned in early in preparation of their busy Mondays, Bella sat on the floor of the guest bedroom surrounded by magazines, and several pieces of discarded paper as she made lists of everything that needed to be done.

Two hours later, she had barely scratched the surface on all the necessary wedding preparations before she needed to take a break and head downstairs for a glass of iced water. She was halfway to the kitchen when she noticed the silhouette of a person seated on the couch in the living room.

The air froze in her passageway, forbidding Bella to scream.

Unexpectedly a light clicked on and as soon as her eyes adjusted to the soft light, Bella was able to make out the mystery person.

"Alice? What are you doing here? Where's Jasper?"

When Alice didn't readily answer, it became apparent that she was crying. Bella rushed to sit beside her.

"Should I go wake Carlisle?" Bella offered.

Alice shook her head. "Jasper's fine. I took him home."

"And then you came back? How? When?" None of this scenario was making sense to Bella.

Alice held up a small book. "I took this home with me after the service just so I could tell Jasper that I needed to come back here to return it." Alice sniffed softly. "I just needed a little break, Bella. We're together _all_ the time and ever since he got out of the hospital, he doesn't want me out of his sight, but when we're together, all we do…actually all _he_ does is argue with me. I can't say anything right; I can't do anything right. And I know it's not him, it's the…recovery talking."

Bella instantly knew that Alice's mention of recovery didn't mean Jasper's bout in the hospital, but rather, his bout with the bottle.

"Is he getting help with that? Does he have a counselor?" Bella whispered.

Alice shrugged. "He said he would go…to counseling, but every time I ask him about it, he reminds me that he's barely just gotten out of the hospital. He gets upset and tells me that I don't trust him and that he might as well drink because I'm already treating him like he's going to."

Bella put her arm around Alice for comfort. "Has he…had anything to drink?"

Alice shook her head adamantly. "I'm almost one hundred percent sure that he hasn't. There's nothing in the house and he can't drive to the store to get anything." Alice paused in her speaking. "But…part of me thinks he's got a secret stash somewhere and _that's_ why he doesn't want to let me out of his sight. He knows that as long as I'm with him, he won't drink, but if I'm not there, then he might…" Alice rubbed anxiously at her face. "I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't be here. I honestly don't know what's come over me. I think I'm just tired or something."

"Or maybe you know you need a little help. Let me help you," Bella said soothingly.

Alice scoffed at Bella's offer. "Oh the irony," she mocked. "Edward would get a kick out of that one, wouldn't he?"

"Alice," Bella stopped her. The last thing she wanted to get into was another verbal sparring match about Alice's previous relationship with Edward.

"No, Bella, don't misunderstand me," Alice beseeched. "I love that you and Edward are getting married. I love how much you two obviously care about each other because for all the confusion and anxiety and regret and…"

"Guilt?" Bella offered in a small voice.

Alice stared down at her hands for a long while, resisting acknowledging what Bella was implying. Finally she broke down – first nodding slightly and then bursting into tears.

They sat that way for many minutes; Alice quietly weeping and Bella quietly waiting.

And then Alice opened her mouth and let loose three years worth of words.

"At first it was easy to tell ourselves that Edward was just angry because his plans had been interrupted," she squeaked out. "Jasper kept saying that Edward would get over it and things would be fine. He said we just needed to lay low for a little while until Edward realized that it really was for the best that he and I didn't get married.

"It was easy to tell myself that Edward never cared for me the way Jasper did, and that we were really _helping_ Edward by being together; freeing him up for his one true mate." Alice rolled her eyes at her own words. "But then time just kept passing and passing and Edward wasn't snapping out of it. He hardly talked, he stopped hanging out with friends; he became a shell of who he was.

"Our wedding was overshadowed by the family splintering apart, but we kind of explained it away by other things: Rosalie couldn't be a part of the wedding because she was having a baby; Esme couldn't plan this grand event because Edward had poisoned the town against us and no one wanted to come…but deep down, we knew the truth. Emmett stood with Jasper at the wedding out of obligation, not because he actually _wanted_ to. And even though Carlisle said he couldn't marry us because of the elders split vote on our arrangement, we knew it was because of Edward. And this infuriated Jasper. He felt like Carlisle was putting Edward's feelings above his own."

"But how could he not?" Bella broke in. "That situation was not so black and white-"

Alice held up her hand to silence Bella's tirade. "I'm just telling you what we told ourselves, Bella – what we chose to focus on. I hid behind how I felt about Jasper and Jasper shielded himself with anger. It became his reaction for every injustice. The final straw was when we arrived at church after our isolation period and not one person congratulated us on our marriage. That's when Jasper started drinking more.

"Initially, I hardly ever saw it. He'd have a glass of wine at dinner, saying that he was behind on quality control at work, and that he needed to catch up at home. Then, he started working longer hours, and he'd come home very relaxed, but smelling strongly of alcohol. I didn't think anything of it. He works at a vineyard after all.

"But then I noticed that Emmett rarely worked as any hours as Jasper did. When I brought this up to Jasper, he told me Emmett didn't put in as many hours because he had to help Rosalie with the kids. I started to resent Emmett for causing Jasper to spend so much time away from home. And one day, I said something to him about it."

"Oh no," Bella lamented. She knew there was no way that had gone over well.

"Yeah, you can imagine what Emmett said to Jasper about that _after_ he told me that Jasper appointed _himself_ over quality control and that he worked way more hours than anyone expected him to.

"After that, Jasper just stopped making a pretense of what he was doing. He started drinking more at home. And when he drinks, he talks. It's the only way he can truly deal with his feelings out about what happened with Edward."

"Oh, Alice," Bella closed her eyes momentarily in empathy. "You can't take this on by yourself."

Alice nodded. "I know. And I told him…I told him it was too much for both of us, that he needed someone objective…and he got mad and started ranting about how we needed to stick together and if anyone else got involved, they'd try to tear us apart. That's always his excuse. And I actually bought into it for a minute. But then…I don't know, being here today with everyone, and seeing how happy everyone was about you and Edward and the wedding; how all the family was pitching in…And then there's me and Jasper, just hanging out like we don't belong here… That's when I realized that it's us. _We're_ the ones that are tearing us apart – that are tearing _everyone_ apart."

"Alice, that isn't true."

"It is true, Bella," Alice insisted. "And it's even more obvious with how everyone is about this wedding…how Edward is…"

"Is that what this is all about?" Bella asked, realization dawning. "The wedding?"

Alice shrugged. "It's just…for the first time since everything happened, I actually see it and I think Jasper does, too. There's no place for us in this family. And we have nobody to blame for that but ourselves."

"Alice, don't you think that Edward just needs to hear this from the two of you? Because not even acknowledging what had happened before was probably one of the biggest obstacles in getting past what transpired between you three. Maybe if Jasper tried to talk to Edward…apologized maybe…"

Alice laughed bitterly. "Edward's not going to talk to us, Bella. And what kind of apology could even be acceptable?" Alice wiped at her nose. "It's too late. The chasm is growing, and after today, I know that this is just the way it has to be; Jasper and I being on the fringe while everyone else grows closer together; Edward getting some semblance of normal while Jasper and I fade into the distance. I think that's the best apology we could ever give Edward."

"I'm no expert, but I think an _actual_ apology is the best apology you could give Edward," Bella disagreed. She softened her words with a hug. "And, Alice, it isn't part of my plan to leave you out of the wedding. If you feel like I'm doing that, I'm sorry. It's not intentional."

"Don't apologize to me, Bella. Please. It makes me feel worse. And I didn't mean that you were leaving me out. I just meant that our circumstances warrant us being left out and we're ready to accept that…at least _I_ am."

"No one is asking that of you."

"Edward probably is, and he should."

"We'll let Edward decide what Edward should do. Deal?" Bella asked as she clasped hands with Alice.

A slight smile of understanding found Alice's lips. "He deserves you, you know," she rendered. "Nobody else would ever be good enough."

Now it was Bella's turn for derision. "I think most people are more concerned with whether or not I deserve _him_," she highlighted.

"Of that, there is no question," Alice said confidently.

This time, the atmosphere, void of sound, was a consolation instead a threat and both Bella and Alice seemed to glean comfort from it.

"I'm sorry I unleashed on you," Alice said as she blotted her eyes with a tissue.

"I'm glad that you did," Bella stated genuinely. "I had no idea you were feeling this way."

"Thanks for caring, Bella." Alice hugged Bella soundly before stepping over to the door. "I should go. Jasper's probably worried."

Bella followed after Alice and gave her one last hug on the porch before stepping back inside and securing the locks on the Cullen's massive entryway door. The unexpected conversation with Alice had left Bella feeling physically depleted and she used her last bit of reserve to climb the stairs while she mulled over what this newfound information might mean to Edward.

And as she reached the top of the stairs, she knew she would most likely find out sooner rather than later, as she looked up to see Edward waiting in the shadows of the landing.


	28. Chapter 27 Framing the Foundation

**Framing the Foundation. **_Right before the wedding, as jitters and nerves begin to set in, couples benefit from voicing their fears and apprehensions to clear the air and begin their life together with a clean slate. Learning to deal with small unsettled issues before they grow bigger is a practice that will serve the couple well into their marriage._

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* * *

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There were many creature comforts of his parents' home what Edward wouldn't miss once he moved out: the way the third step from the top creaked whenever someone stepped on it, the carpet in the upstairs bathroom that was rough and pebbled due to many years' exposure to moisture and the pane in his bedroom window that slightly trembled each time someone opened and shut the front door.

When his window suffered a series of shakes that night as he lie in his bed staring up at the ceiling, he thought nothing of it at first. Possibly his father was simply glancing out into the night before securing the door until dawn.

Then he heard the creaking stair.

And then numerous footfalls descended beyond the stair, indicating that someone was going down instead of coming up. Thinking he might have another opportunity to bid his lady love good night, Edward stealthily crept out of bed and cracked his door open ever so slightly.

Sure enough, he saw Bella's profile as she stood frozen on the stairs – her expression one of fear and trepidation. This caused Edward to open his door fully and step out, searching for the danger.

The glow of a soft light flickered in the distance and Edward heard Bella's soft voice. "Alice? What are you doing here? Where's Jasper?"

Edward immediately assumed Alice's presence was due to his brother's withdrawals from alcohol. Although Edward had no idea how frequently or in what quantities Jasper imbibed, judging from his most recent accident, it was most likely enough to make a noticeable difference if he stopped abruptly.

As Edward watched and listened to the exchange between the two women, he couldn't help but notice two things. The first was that for the first time in years, Alice resembled the girl he had befriended so many years before. And the second thing Edward noticed was that he felt nothing but empathy for her. It was as if he was watching Bella interact with a distressed stranger, someone he didn't know but felt bad for nonetheless.

Someone with whom he had no history.

Ironically, Edward came to this realization _before_ he heard Alice do what he'd always thought he'd needed: take ownership of her wrongdoing.

Edward stood listening as little bits of the missing puzzle pieces began to fall into place and fill in the answers to many of the questions he'd had. But more than listening to Alice, Edward was focused on Bella and how she managed to comfort Alice while still holding her accountable – and how she maintained being an advocate for him in the process.

When the conversation began to wind down, Edward took a few steps backward to conceal himself in the shadows, dulling his ability to hear clearly what was being said. Bella had encouraged Alice to apologize to him, along with Jasper. Edward silently asked himself if that was even what he wanted. After all these years, what would that apology accomplish? What would it feel like? Did he need it? How would he react to an apology from Alice? From Jasper?

Edward shook the latter question from his mind. It was one thing to have Alice's sentiment – after all, family was always extremely important to her. It was what had attracted her to the Cullens in the first place, and to come to the realization that she was on the outside, never quite attaining what she'd always yearned for, was enough to break her obstinate denial. But Jasper was a different animal completely. And even though his secret thoughts and feelings were being revealed by his wife, Edward had never known Jasper to freely admit wrongdoing or apologize.

When that thought crossed Edward's mind, without bringing with it the bitter sting of resentment, it confirmed his earlier suspicion: he didn't need an apology – not from Alice and not from Jasper. His life had come full circle, and though there remained a callous over the wrongdoing he suffered at the hands of Jasper and Alice, it wasn't a circumstance that defined him anymore. He had his faith, his family and a future with the one person he couldn't imagine existing without; the one person who was now standing before him looking worried, doubtful and ravishingly beautiful.

Without a word, Edward held his hand out to her, and when Bella took it, he pulled her in for an enveloping embrace.

"I want to marry you this instant," he whispered to her urgently.

Bella tightened her grip on him, as if his words dispelled some uncertainty that she'd had. "You know I would if we could."

However, the truth of the matter was that they could not. There were no elopements in the Cannabean community and there were key parameters yet to be met. Still, Edward could focus only on the woman in his arms and how badly he wanted to keep her there for the rest of his life.

But of course, life dictated that he let go, and so the next day, while Edward was busy navigating the travails of the import-export business, Bella was busy packing up the few things she'd brought with her to the Cullen estate and heading back home to reside with her parents until her wedding day.

Edward missed her presence around the house immediately. He'd grown quite accustomed to seeing her face when he returned home from work and talking to her about things that wouldn't necessarily warrant a telephone call to discuss, but were easy and relaxing to speak about when they were sharing a casual afternoon moment.

Luckily Edward hadn't taken those times for granted, because the memory of them had to get him through the busy weeks and months that followed. With everything that had to get done before November, most of Edward and Bella's conversations were purposed on the events of their future instead of funny anecdotes and breezy musings.

Only days after she'd moved back home, Bella returned to casa de Cullen with a legal-sized pad full of information, swatches and samples. She'd looked so frantic and overwhelmed that Edward had immediately vowed to do whatever he could to help her out.

""Well…I was hoping…if it's alright with you," Bella began, "that I might ask your mother to be in charge of the reception." She peeked up at Edward momentarily before continuing. "It's just that she's really good at that sort of thing and my mother and I wouldn't even know where to begin with putting an event together for that many people. Plus, when I prioritized the elements of the wedding by importance, the reception wasn't in my top five."

Edward found the speed at which Bella was speaking to be a bit humorous; like she actually thought he would have an opinion on the matter that would override hers.

"It's not in the top five?" he asked mockingly with wide eyes in an attempt to make her smile.

"Well, when I made my list of things that were really important to me, I came up with the wedding ceremony itself, the dress, the pictures, the colors and the location. Not that the reception isn't important," Bella rushed in, misunderstanding Edward's motive at humor. "I just…really think your mother would enjoy it. And Alice seems like she knows a fair bit about those things, and she'd like to help; but if you don't want me to-"

"Breathe, Bella," Edward smiled as he laid his hand on top of hers. "Whatever makes you happy, and less stressed, is fine with me." He watched as her shoulders visibly relaxed at his words. "Besides, there are only two things about the wedding that are important to me: you and what comes after it's over."

"Edward," Bella whispered, blushing ferociously as she stacked and restacked the papers before her.

Her bashfulness stemmed from the fact that newlywed Cannabean couples did not have honeymoons to locales near or far to look forward to after their "I do's". Instead, it was customary for couples to celebrate their newfound matrimony with what was referred to as the isolation period – a weeklong phase of seclusion that followed the wedding which allowed the couple to explore their new status as husband and wife without any outside distraction.

Edward smiled as he leaned across the table to kiss the warmed skin of Bella's cheek before moving down to her mouth.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Edward asked. Under the table, his hand was underneath her skirt, softly skimming across her bare knee in the same way his lips were skimming over her neck. An image of the two of them getting cozy on the sofa in the den or on the lounger on the back deck flitted through his mind.

"I-I can't," Bella answered, shaking her head as if his actions disoriented her. She compressed her legs tightly shut and discreetly repositioned Edward's hand above her skirt. "I have so much to do and I told my mother that we'd work on the invitations this evening."

"Haven't you been at this all day?" Edward gestured toward her list, only slightly agitated that she didn't seem to be struggling with lust as much as he was.

Bella nodded. "But there's still a lot to be done."

"Did you get your dress?"

Although only mere seconds, Bella's hesitation was noticeable. "I contacted the store that I'm going to order it from. I told them I'd be ready to order at the end of the month."

"Why at the end of the month? Why put it off?" Edward asked. "Order it now."

"The end of the month is just next week, hon. And I already told them that's when I'd be ordering, so I think it'll be fine. I'll have more than enough time to make sure everything is fine before the wedding."

"I can't believe the month is almost over," Edward said as he straightened up in his chair. Bella was doing little to return his attempts at affection, so he was ready to admit defeat on that front.

"I know. Time is flying," Bella said as she stood up and pushed in the chair she'd been sitting in. "Speaking of which," she said when she'd checked the time on the ancient grandfather clock resting in the corner. "I'd better get going. I told my mother I'd be back hours ago."

Reluctantly, Edward followed Bella out of the dining room where they were sitting and walked her outside toward her car. As they strolled, Edward noticed Bella rub at her lower back a few times and he wondered if she wasn't feeling well. He was just about ask her about it when he was distracted by the older, economy vehicle parked in the driveway.

"Where's your car?" Edward wondered when he saw that she was driving her parents' vehicle. "Is something wrong with it?"

"No," Bella answered nonchalantly. "My mother and I were just out running errands all day today in her car. I just dropped her off and hurried over here. My car's fine."

There was no way that Edward would have preferred driving an older, less reliable car when he could have been driving a sleek, new sports car, but he knew Bella didn't share his love of automobiles. She was much more practical than he was in that arena, so he let the subject drop and kissed her goodbye before hopping into his own vehicle to drive a few blocks down the road and around the corner to check on the progress of the construction of his house.

His and Bella's house.

It was refreshing to see the evidence of productivity even before he'd reached the lot. There was heavy equipment, lumber and even a Porta John portable toilet tucked away at the edge of the street's end. Because the foundation of the home had already been completed, the workers had already begun the early stages of framing the house.

Edward stepped out of his car and stared at the sight until the sun began its descent in the sky. As he leaned against the door of his car he couldn't help feeling the void left by Bella's absence and he knew the euphoria of the experience wouldn't be complete until he could share it with her.

So the next day, he called her in the early afternoon to make arrangements with her to visit the construction site with him. But Bella was feeling a little under the weather and didn't think she'd be up for venturing out. She was very apologetic and disappointed about not being able to share the moment with Edward and promised that she'd make it the next day, no matter what.

Therefore, Edward left work a little early the next afternoon in anticipation of sharing a picnic lunch with Bella at their property – something his mother already knew all about as soon as he walked in the door from work.

"I saw Bella at the grocery store this morning. She said she was making the two of you a special lunch and you were going to eat it at the construction site. That is so sweet," Esme said as she moved about the kitchen.

"Yeah. She wasn't able to go yesterday because she didn't feel good," Edward said.

"That is one of the perks of a hysterectomy. No more monthly cycles," Esme stated soundly.

Edward nearly spit out the juice he was about to swallow. "_That's_ what was wrong with her? She just volunteered that information to you?"

Esme looked at Edward as if he was drastically overreacting. "She asked me if I had any aspirin the other day when she was over and told me that her back was bothering her because she was getting ready to start. Anyway, I didn't raise you boys to make a fuss over such things. And you'd better get used to it. You're about to be a married man."

"I'm not making a fuss," Edward deflected. "You just caught me off guard. That's all."

There were so many nuances that he and Bella had yet to hammer out, and though they'd discussed cycles in a clinical sense before, Bella had never made mention of actually being on her period. Was she supposed to? Did he _want_ her to? How were they going to handle it, after they were married, when he'd want to fool around and it was her time of the month? Surely she'd be comfortable enough by then to tell him, right? But why wasn't she comfortable now?

Edward's meditations were interrupted by his mother's endless fawning over Bella.

"Have I told you how much I adore her?"

"You may have mentioned it a time or two," Edward smiled, slightly distracted. Truthfully, he never got tired of hearing how fond his parents were of Bella.

"I mean it, Edward. She never ceases to amaze me. Did you know that she told Alice to decorate for the reception as if it were her own?" Esme asked incredulously. "A bride giving someone free reign over wedding details. Have you ever heard of such a thing?"

"Uh…no?" Edward cautioned.

Esme dropped her voice then and averted her eyes, trying to make light of her next statement. "I really think it's great how you two are including Alice and Jas- … how you're including the family. I don't even have the words to explain how much that means to me."

"That's just who Bella is, Mom," Edward shrugged, because it was true.

"I know. But I also know she wouldn't do anything you weren't comfortable with," Esme said as she patted Edward's arm lightly on her way past him.

"Oh," she paused as if she'd forgotten something, "did something happen to Bella's car? I noticed that she wasn't driving it when she came by the other day, and she didn't have it at the market today either."

Edward perked up at this information. He'd thought something was off about her answer the other day when he'd asked her about the car. Maybe she really didn't like it, but was afraid of hurting his feelings if she told him the truth.

"I thought we were past this," Edward muttered into the empty juice glace.

"What's that, dear?" Esme asked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking out loud," Edward said. "I'm going to grab a blanket from the hallway closet."

"Use that peach colored one," Esme called after him. She didn't want any of her other blankets being laid on the grass outside.

Edward did as she suggested and was putting the blanket in the trunk of his car when Bella drove up – in her own car.

"You've got me excited. I can't wait to see how the house is coming along," Bella said exuberantly as she walked over to him and partook of their first kiss of the day.

"It doesn't even look like a house yet," Edward said, not wanting to mislead her. "But it's great because it's…"

"Progress?"

"Exactly."

They decided to take Bella's car, because she had all the food, and a blanket, already packed in her trunk. In less than ten minutes, they were pulling to a halt in front of their soon-to-be house.

Since it was the middle of the afternoon, there was a flurry of activity as the workers cut, carried and nailed wood and drove equipment that beeped and squealed at the push of a button. When the foreman saw Edward, he waved and walked over to speak about the plan for the day. Edward quickly told him that he and Bella were going to simply walk to the backside of the lot and have lunch by the lake and that they had no intention of getting in the way of anyone's work.

"Wow," Bella spoke in awe of the ease at which the framing was being done. "They make it look so simple."

"That's going to be the garage. It probably is pretty easy. No interior walls," Edward added.

They put enough distance between themselves and the construction so that they could actually hear one another when they spoke – and seated themselves near the water. The swans were silently spinning in the slow waves, unfazed by all the activity around them.

Edward and Bella began their conversation by talking about the things they'd accomplished that morning, even though the day was quite young. Edward told Bella about a new supplier he'd gained that would enable him to increase productivity and a new customer in Alaska that sends crab meat all over the world.

Bella told him about the wedding invitations, and how they'd finally been ordered and sent to print. She told him about the three loaves of banana bread she'd baked and she pointed to a container housing one loaf.

"Good to hear that. It sounds like you're feeling better," Edward told her.

He was trying to think of a way to broach the topic of Bella still not feeling very comfortable with telling him things when his eyes focused in on a few construction workers as they began to ready the garage floor for concrete.

"You know," he said, "it's kind of interesting how that foundation sat there for years withstanding the harsh elements, but when it came time to build, they were able to start from where the original construction had left off. It was still level and solid." Edward glanced over at Bella. "Do you think we have a solid foundation?"

When Bella realized he was talking about them, as a couple, and not their house, her eyes grew wide with worry. "Of course. Don't you?"

Edward reached for Bella's hand and kissed the back of it before continuing. "I feel like you know me better than anyone else on the planet," he answered. "I feel comfortable with you and I feel like everything we've been through so far has made our relationship stronger."

Bella nodded. "Me, too," but the expression she wore on her face was still one of confusion.

"I'm glad," Edward interjected. "Because sometimes it still feels like you're not comfortable with me, like you're afraid to tell me things."

Bella looked down at their joined hands, her brow creased in concentration. "I'm not _afraid_ to tell you things, Edward."

"Then what is it?" Edward asked. "Like, this past week, you've been very vague with me, and on my own, my mind starts to wander and I think that I've done something to upset you, or I've forgotten something that I shouldn't have."

"Some things are uncomfortable to talk about, just because…well because I know you can't relate."

"Because I'm a man?" Edward asked, willing her to just tell him already about the monthly thing so that it could cease to be a taboo topic between them.

"Because it's not an issue for you," Bella clarified. "And I know that certain things shouldn't be an issue for us – I _should_ feel comfortable telling you how I feel about everything, but in reality, sometimes things are a little humiliating, Edward. And then I feel bad about feeling humiliated, but not bad enough to talk to you about things because…" Bella's words waned when she realized she was rambling.

"Bella, it's okay," Edward smiled. "I get it, I do. And I don't want you to feel humiliated, but I also don't want you to tell me you're sick when it's your monthly time just because you're too embarrassed to tell me what's really going on. I was really worried yesterday, thinking that you could be coming down with the flu or something…"

"What?" Bella asked him in a tone that told him she had no idea what he was talking about.

Edward clamped his mouth shut and didn't answer her question. _Had his mother told him incorrectly? Should he not have said anything? Was it improper to ask a woman about such things?_

"Uh…" he hemmed. "I just…I t-thought…you know…maybe you were too embarrassed to tell me…about the monthly…I mean, one day I'll see…I'll know…" _Oh stop while you're ahead, Edward!_

"Is that what this is about?" Bella laughed slightly. "Because if you want me to tell you when I'm on my period, I can tell you. I just assumed you wouldn't want to know because my dad says that's the last thing a guy wants to know about. He's trained me over the years to just tell him I have a stomachache."

Edward smirked. "A stomachache?"

"Yep. One mention of a stomachache and my dad can clear a room faster than the speed of light."

They laughed until the humor died down and silence settled in between them. Edward picked through the blades of grass and Bella fidgeted nervously beside him.

"I thought you were talking about the car," she finally said.

"You don't like it, do you?" Edward asked without looking at her.

"Edward, I love the car. I really do," Bella said insistently. "It's just that…"

"What?"

"Well, it's _really_ expensive."

"It's not," Edward countered. "And so what if it is. I can afford it. I want you to have nice things."

"That's just it, Edward. _You_ can afford it…I can't." She held up her hand before he could interrupt her again. "My mother and I drove to Port Angeles a few days ago to look at a few things – that trip alone nearly cost me a hundred dollars in gas."

"Bella, why didn't you tell me? I told you, what's mine is yours."

"You did," Bella said agreeably. "But that still doesn't mean I have…access."

"Didn't I give you my credit card?"

Bella shook her head. "And that would be really hard living with my dad. He's completely anti-credit cards."

"I pay it off every month," Edward said in his defense. "But I need the airline miles."

"I don't feel comfortable asking for money, Edward. And I know you wouldn't have a problem with it, but it just seems a little premature to ask. And you said before that we aren't paying for our own wedding, which means that whatever I get for the wedding needs to be paid for by my parents-"

"Is that why you're waiting until the end of the month to order your dress?"

Bella nodded. "I told my parents that I'd pay for my own wedding dress because of…well, you know. Anyway, I knew I had money saved away and I was pretty sure it would cover just about everything I needed. What I didn't know was that my parents had been borrowing against it ever since we moved here and then paying it back when my father got paid. But he got a little behind a few months ago when he had to replace the water pump on the car."

Edward felt awful as he listened to the burden the car and the wedding had become for Bella. All she had to do was ask…no, that's wrong. He should have known. He should have anticipated her needs and opened a joint checking account for them weeks ago.

"Come on," he said as he stood up abruptly. "We're going to the bank."

"But what about lunch?" Bella asked.

"We don't have much time. The bank closes at two," Edward informed her. "We can eat on the way."

And so, quickly, they packed up their picnic and headed off to town.

"You're making her nervous," Bella whispered to Edward with a smile an hour later when the bank representative had left them on their own while she went to retrieve a blank signature card. He had transferred a hefty sum of money from his personal account into the new account he now shared with Bella.

"Psssh," Edward disagreed. "She deals with more money than this every day." Edward looked down at the transfer agreement. "And this isn't going to last that long. I'll put more in at the first of the month."

"Edward, I could probably live on this for nearly a year," Bella pointed at the five-figure mark.

"You think that, but remember, besides the wedding, we have to decorate and furnish a house."

"True," Bella reconsidered.

"And just so we're clear, I am leaving that decorating stuff completely up to you. That's not really my thing."

"I know. I've seen your room."

Edward mocked hurt. "Well I've seen your room, too, and if you think I'm sleeping with Snuffles the Bear-"

"I'll have you know that Snuffles is an elephant, not a bear," Bella teased back.

They were being so playful with one another that they hardly noticed that the bank representative had returned until she cleared her throat to get their attention.

They left the bank soon after, with a new checkbook and a set of temporary pre-printed checks, which Edward handed to Bella. He then grabbed her waist before she could get into the car and spun her to face him.

"From here on out, I expect you to tell me if you ever need anything," he said, right before kissing her.

"I will. I promise," Bella said.

'*'

A few weeks later Edward and Bella were forced to adjust to a routine that saw them spending quite a bit of time apart. In preparation of taking time off after the wedding, Edward was working overtime tying up loose ends and when Bella wasn't planning the wedding or visiting furniture showrooms with Esme for ideas, she was writing her wedding vows.

The wedding vows in a Cannabean wedding were always an important part of each ceremony. So important, in fact, that they were required to be presented to the Board of Cannabean Elders at least one week prior to the wedding. So on his first free morning in weeks, Edward was sitting alone in his parents' dining room, taking a break from designing a pre-wedding gift for Bella and trying to pen his feelings for his betrothed.

However, nobody had informed Edward that the planning of the wedding had transformed his parents' house into Grand Central Station.

First, Rosalie waddled in, followed by her three children, carrying two garment bags. Since she was due to give birth right before the wedding, Bella had charged Rosalie with the children's processional portion of the ceremony. This allowed her to be included, without having to worry about losing all her baby weight before the wedding. But of course, since it was Rosalie, she'd worry about the baby weight anyway.

Edward laughed to himself as he symbolically gave Bella a high five for finding a way to include his nieces and nephew without actually having to interact with them. Individually, the children weren't so bad, but collectively, Emmett seemed to be the only one who could control them, which was a shame since they were with their mother most of the time.

Thinking about his brother's children reminded Edward of the recent discussion he and Bella had had when they'd revisited the topic of birth control. It was after a rather humiliating Sunday brunch where Elijah had announced to the table that he'd seen his parents "humping".

"Where are you getting this stuff?" a red-faced Rosalie asked as she all but shoved a napkin in the boy's mouth to shut him up.

"It's the Ellison's farm. Every time he goes over there he sees those animals doing something or other," Emmett added. Unlike his wife, he looked a little less humiliated and a little more proud.

"That's why they have locks on doors," Edward said, radiant with second-hand embarrassment.

Emmett had looked over at Rosalie and shrugged. "Like it's that simple. Just you wait."

After that, Edward and Bella had unanimously agreed on the natural family planning method she'd mentioned, and so Edward took a brief reprieve from his wedding vows, fired up his laptop and searched the Internet until he'd found and procured one Lady-Comp fertility monitor.

Five hundred and nine dollars later, Edward had managed to write one wedding vow before Alice burst through the door looking like a craft store had vomited on her. In all honesty, the urgency with which everyone around him was working was stressing Edward out a bit. He didn't feel like he was running out of time at all, but both Alice and Rosalie were wailing about not having enough time to order this that or the other.

And then his mother started in. And Esme knew that Edward was at home, so every few minutes she'd poke her head into the dining room and ask him a question that he certainly didn't know the answer to.

There was only one high point in that crazy day, and that was when Bella and her mother showed up to whisk everyone off to Port Angeles so that she could try on her bridal gown. Their interaction was brief, but it was enough to energize Edward enough to once again set to work on his vows once they'd all cleared out and he was _finally_ alone.

Or, at least he'd thought he was alone. When he headed to the kitchen later in search of a snack, he encountered Jasper standing in the middle of the foyer looking like a lost little boy.

"Is Dad here?" he asked when he saw Edward looking at him.

"No," Edward said. He took in his brother's disheveled appearance and guessed that Alice's involvement with the wedding meant Jasper had to fend for himself, and left to his own devices, Jasper didn't seem to know what to do.

"Oh. Because I think he was supposed to meet me here," Jasper paused to check his watch, "at noon."

"Well since it's technically still morning, he hasn't stood you up yet," Edward said as he skirted past his brother and went into the kitchen. It wasn't long before he heard Jasper enter the kitchen as well. "Have you tried calling him? He has his phone," Edward asked as he poked around in the refrigerator for a snack. He was craving some of Bella's baked banana bread.

"Yeah, I should probably do that," Jasper said softly.

Edward looked over his shoulder and saw his brother anxiously shifting his weight back and forth from foot to foot.

_Oh no._

Suddenly Edward realized why Jasper was roaming around the edges of the house an hour before he was supposed to meet up with their father.

Jasper was there to see Edward.

And if Alice's visit in the middle of the night a month prior was any indication, Edward knew what Jasper had to say and he wasn't in any mood to hear it.

"I saw your house the other day," Jasper said in a hoarse voice. "It's comin' along nicely."

"Yeah," Edward rendered. He glanced over at the clock on the stove, willing time to pass quickly so that his father would come home and interrupt whatever was about to happen.

"So, uh…all the girls went to town to get Bella's wedding dress?" Jasper asked to break the silence.

"To try it on. First fitting, or whatever," Edward said.

"Right, right," Jasper ducked his head repeatedly in an overstated nod. "Alice is really having fun with all the decorating stuff."

Edward didn't quite know how to reply to that. "That's good."

"Yeah. You should see our kitchen table. It's covered with all kinds of ribbon and pine cones. She's making Martha Stewart look like an amateur."

Edward cracked a smile at that comment. Alice had always been the type to go at something full throttle once she'd set her mind to it.

"Did you know that she used to want to be a wedding planner?" Jasper went on.

"No. I did not know that," Edward said, looking around the kitchen for something to set his focus on besides his brother.

"Yeah, she did."

Awkward silence.

"Did you guys ever try to start something up through the vineyard? Like when people called about weddings and things?" Edward asked.

"Huh?" Jasper asked before realizing that Edward actually _had_ been listening to him. "Oh, right. Yeah, that would have been a good idea."

There was another pause of conversation and Edward searched his mind for a way to excuse himself that wouldn't feel strange or uncomfortable. But when he opened his mouth to speak, what came out of it only propelled him into further dialogue, and not less.

"So, you're feeling better?" Edward asked.

"Me?" Jasper pointed to himself. "Yeah, I'm good."

"So you're back at work, then?"

"Uh, well…I was actually, yeah. That's what I needed to see Dad about. We're going to sort that out today, actually."

"Ah," Edward commented. So there it was. Jasper was finally realizing that Carlisle meant business – if Jasper wanted to continue on at the family vineyard, then he had to get outside assistance for his problem with alcohol consumption. And outside assistance programs usually contained some element of absolution for past wrongdoings.

Maybe Jasper was just trying to get a head start. "Yeah, so, um…Edward…uh…"

However, before he could finish whatever it was he was going to say, Carlisle entered the house through the pantry at the back of the kitchen and Edward took that opportunity to make a quick exit.

It wasn't that Edward didn't want to hear what Jasper had to say. If there was something that Jasper needed to express to heal his own conscience, of course Edward would grant him that. But Jasper had always been such a volatile person, and Edward wasn't sure how his brother would react to how Edward now truly felt about the situation that had happened so many years ago; that Edward was glad that he'd never married Alice – that he now knew that Alice would never have made him happy and that he felt that God had given him a much better match in Bella. How could he tell his brother that while Jasper had done an underhanded and deplorable thing, Edward felt he'd come out of it a better man, and was no longer held hostage by the feelings of worthlessness and bitterness that he'd once been besieged with. How did you take a man's apology and turn it into gratitude without stripping him of his dignity?

It wasn't until a few weeks later, after an impromptu gathering of all the Cullen men, that a hint of the answer to that question presented itself to Edward.

It was a Wednesday afternoon, and Carlisle was standing in the kitchen with Edward looking at a carving kit that Edward had just received in the mail when Emmett stopped by on his way home from the vineyard to discuss a staffing issue with his mother.

"Hey, Edward, I still can't believe a house that big can be built in three months, but it looks like you were right," Emmett said.

"Actually, they had to hire a second crew to pull it off," Edward admitted. "The foreman assured me that he could do it, but then he tried to lower his overhead by not hiring enough guys."

"Of course he did," Emmett said with an air of understanding. "He's trying to make a bigger profit. I can't say as I blame the guy. I mean, if I'd been out of work as long as a lot of these contractors, I know I'd be cutting a few corners to make up for my losses."

"But still, if he told Edward he could build the house before November, then he needs to make that happen," Carlisle countered. "I remember when the contractor up at Silver Lake tried to underbid the job on our cabin, and then after he was hired he tried to increase the bid by saying he forgot to factor in the increased manpower. Remember that?"

"Uh…Dad, I was six when that place was built," Emmett said of cabin his family used to frequent for vacations when he was a boy.

"What place?" Esme asked as she came in from outside, followed by Jasper. They each had a crate of grapes in their hands and Emmett and Edward moved aside so they could pass freely.

"The Silver Lake cabin," Carlisle answered.

"Do we still have that?" Jasper asked.

Carlisle nodded. "Yes, but I haven't been up there since…" he looked over at Emmett, "wasn't it right before your wedding? You and I went up there and stayed a couple days?"

Emmett remembered. "Oh yeah! That was fun."

"Yeah, and I couldn't go because I got the chicken pox," Jasper muttered. "Who gets the chicken pox when they're seventeen?"

"You, apparently," Emmett teased before referencing his father. "Are you taking Edward up there?"

Carlisle looked over at Edward like it was a new idea, but Edward knew his father better than that. He was sure the gears had been turning in his father's mind long before Emmett had even said anything. One thing about Carlisle, he was big on tradition. Anything that could be handed down from one generation to the next, a legacy or commemoration of a family's life…

And that's when the answer became clear in Edward's mind. It was something he could do for his brother to let him know that though not forgotten, his actions were forgiven. And the best part about Edward's plan was that he wouldn't have to say a word.

* * *

Isn't it about time for these two crazy kids to get married? Thank goodness it happens in the next chapter!


	29. Chapter 28 At the Brink of the Alter

**A Cannabean Wedding, Pt. I:**

**At the Brink of the Alter. **_Cannabean culture requires a clear delineation between the Betrothal Phase and matrimony. Though the actual wedding ceremony serves as the visual evidence of the change, it is customary for the bride and groom to spend no less than twenty-four hours apart before the wedding. Unlike mainstream society, Cannabeans do not engage in lewd conduct or last-ditch efforts to enjoy single-dom. Instead, they utilize this time to be encouraged and equipped by close family._

_

* * *

_

"Bella, you look absolutely beautiful," Renee praised as she leaned against the dressing room door and watched Bella stand before the floor-length mirrors.

"Mom, please do not start crying again, because if you start crying, then I'll start crying…" Bella warned.

"Too late," Renee smiled as she began to fan her fingers in front of her face to ward off the tears.

Bella turned away so that she wouldn't start her own session of waterworks, and in doing so caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall.

"Mom! We have to get back! Edward's picking me up in an hour!" Bella said frantically. "We're turning in our vows to the elders today!"

Hurriedly, she returned to the dressing room, took off her gown, handed it to the associate to be packaged up, paid the remaining balance and then fled from the store with her mother fast on her heels.

"I thought you'd paid for your wedding dress already," Renee mentioned with a forced casualness.

"Nope," Bella answered in a clipped tone.

"But the first time we were here…I saw you. You wrote a check. Don't you remember?"

"That was just the deposit."

"But that was over six-hundred dollars!"

"Right," Bella stated simply.

"Wow," Renee shook her head. "I don't think I could ever be so comfortable spending so much money."

"It's my wedding dress, Mother," Bella said, hoping to avoid an argument.

"Oh, honey, I know. But last month it was curtains. Two hundred dollars for curtains!"

"Mom, you looked into it, and even you realized that you couldn't make them for less than that."

"That's true," Renee sighed. "I just can't believe how expensive everything is. It scares me."

"Why? Mom, we've paid cash for everything. We're not over-extending ourselves."

"No, it's not…you."

Bella glanced over at her mother and saw that Renee was twisting her hands anxiously in her lap.

"Mom, what is it?"

"It's nothing, honey. I think your wedding just has me overly emotional. Have grace," Renee smiled as she patted Bella's arm. "I'm a mother who's losing her baby girl."

"You're not losing me, Mom," Bella rolled her eyes. "I'll still see you all the time. Stop saying things like that."

_Please._ Bella wanted to add. Even though she couldn't be more excited about soon becoming Mrs. Edward Cullen, the reality of how vastly her life was about to change became clearer and clearer with each passing day.

For instance, the Cannabean church directory prints the names of all of the members of a household under one listing. For years Bella had been accustomed to seeing 'Swan, Charlie & Renee; Isabella'. Now, her name would no longer be listed alongside her parents. She would be in a different household, her name following her husband's and not her parents'.

And since the holidays were rapidly approaching, all of the personal traditions she'd shared with her parents - threading popcorn with her mother for Christmas garland, sharing the first batch of eggnog with her father – would fall by the wayside.

Just thinking about those little things made her sad, and her mother constantly crying and being emotional didn't help matters at all. This was her wedding, after all, to the man of her dreams! The last thing she wanted to do was wrestle with a bout of melancholy.

She also didn't want Edward to think that she was having second thoughts. She wanted to marry him more than anything, something she told him whenever she got the chance. But still, he could see the bereavement behind her eyes, and he did his best to encourage her with kind words and loving gestures.

"I have a surprise for you," he announced.

Bella smiled. He'd been working on something for a few weeks, and though he wouldn't say much about it, Bella knew he was excited about it.

"C'mon. Let's go for a walk," he held out his hand to her.

Making time for each other, just to talk or reaffirm one another, was harder to come by as the wedding date came closer and closer. Even though the house was just about complete, there was still so much to do, and Bella and Edward were always running around in opposite directions trying to get everything taken care of. And when they weren't on the go, they were on the phone. Calls were coming in from nearly every corner of the country as friends, relatives and acquaintances sent wedding well wishes or requested travel information.

"This is nice," Bella said regarding the quiet stroll she and Edward were indulging in. She sighed as he tightened his grip on her hand. "Even though I've seen you every day, I've missed you."

"I know what you mean. Even now I had to urge my mother to leave you alone for a few minutes so I could have you all to myself," Edward grinned as he stole a kiss.

Hand-in-hand they walked the perimeter of the Cullen's property until they came to the line between the lawn and the vineyard. A stately birch tree grew more prominent in Bella's field of vision as they approached it, but it wasn't until they were right upon it that Bella realized it was their final destination.

Edward watched as Bella ran her hand over the grain of the bark and commented on its beauty.

"These trees are so pretty," she said. "I just love the fall colors."

The rare sun caught the diamond in her ring and she paused to admire its sparkle. When she did so, Edward reached for that hand and led her to the other side of the tree.

From the backside, Bella hadn't recognized the Cullen Family Sweetheart Tree, but now, she could see the beautiful and intricate work of Edward's hand as he had carved not their initials, but their full names: 'Edward & Bella Marie'.

"Oh, Edward," Bella admired as she ran her fingertips over their names. "It's so…perfect."

And then, just above the exquisite scrollwork, Bella saw that the family's tree was complete…

Slightly larger than the initials before them, the letters 'J' + 'A' were cut into the tree in a delicate script, along with the date of their wedding.

"Did Jasper?" But when Bella took in the expression on Edward's face, her eyes widened and her smile was filled with love and pride and awe. "You did this."

"Yeah…I…he never would have done it and I figured…" Edward looked down bashfully.

Bella contained a squeal of happiness that threatened to burst out. Though Bella had been sure for a long time that she held Edward's heart and that he was truly over the hurt he felt at his brother and Alice's doing, at times she wasn't sure if _he_ was ready to come to that realization. But this gesture proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he was and he had.

"Has he seen it?" Bella asked as she stared at the evidence of her soon-to-be-husband's impeccable nature.

Edward shrugged. "I don't know. But it was the right thing to do. It says more to leave him off the tree than it does to add him."

Bella shook her head in disagreement. "Oh no it doesn't. You're saying much more by doing this," Bella stepped closer and put her arms around Edward's neck. "And I think you're the sweetest," _kiss_, "kindest," _kiss, kiss_, "loving," _kiss_, "most compassionate man I ever hope to call my husband." At her last kiss, Edward held her face to his and cherished her mouth for as long as the need for air would allow.

Hours later when Bella returned home, she still wore the smile on her face that Edward had put there with his most precious gift. On happy feet she glided into the house, undetected by her parents who were huddled together in the living room. As soon as they heard her footsteps, however, they broke apart quickly. As Renee raced out of the room without a word, Bella noticed that her mother's reddened face.

"What's going on?" Bella asked her father.

Charlie shrugged. "What do you mean?"

"She looked really upset."

Charlie stared at Bella blankly for a long while. Then he plastered on a smile and said, "Our baby's getting married."

"Oh, Dad," Bella went over and hugged him. "Maybe I should go talk to her or something."

Charlie shook his head. "No, that's not necessary. Besides," he gestured to a delivery slip that was resting on the coffee table, "what do you know about this? Are you expecting a large package or something?"

Bella nodded. The furniture that she and Edward had purchased for their home was beginning to arrive, and since Edward would be moving into the house right before the wedding, they were quickly trying to make it as homey as possible.

"That's the armoire I ordered," Bella said, now distracted from the previous topic of conversation. "I didn't expect it to get here so fast."

"An armoire? That must have cost an arm and a leg to ship," Charlie worried.

Bella shook her head. "It was free. It was one of Edward's clients, so they didn't charge us freight."

The Swan's home was beginning to look like a shipping and receiving depot with all the boxes that were starting to pile all around. Fortunately the women had planned a workday at the house now that the cabinets had been installed and the kitchen was finally completed.

Early Friday morning, Bella arose at dawn, and readied herself for a day of hard work. After a quick hot shower, she donned a pair of yoga pants, a t-shirt and then a sweatshirt. She crossed her mother's path in the kitchen when she went downstairs in search of her shoes. When she walked up on her, she found her mother standing in front of the refrigerator, inventorying its sparse contents.

"Looks like it's grocery time," Bella said lightly.

"Oh," Renee was slightly startled when Bella spoke unexpectedly. "Not this week."

"Why?" Bella frowned. Something about the way her mother spoke didn't sit well with her.

Renee's serious demeanor changed instantaneously and she placed her hands on Bella's shoulders and smiled.

"Because my baby girl is getting married and that takes precedence over grocery shopping," she said.

The doorbell sounded then and interrupted their discussion. It was Alice, followed by Rosalie carrying the newest addition to her family, baby Leah.

After a brief period of fawning over the baby, they split into their respective vehicles and Bella led the way to the house that would very soon be her home.

When they arrived, Esme was already there with an arm full of rags which she was using to wipe down the surfaces in the kitchen.

"I can't believe they leave all this sawdust behind when they put in cabinets. They should have to clean up behind themselves," Esme complained as she worked.

"I'll start on the windows," Alice said, jumping in immediately. Rosalie handed her a stack of paper towels before taking a seat on the stairs. She had tagged along for light duty and for fellowship, but having just had a baby, nobody expected her to do much work.

Renee walked from room to room, looking over the house. "I should probably vacuum the carpets," she volunteered.

"Oh, I brought my Dyson. It's in the front hall," Esme stated. "It's the best vacuum I've ever had. Try it. You'll fall in love with it."

At Esme's suggestion, Renee grabbed the vacuum and took it upstairs, only to come down moments later to find out how to work the contraption. Though once she got the hang of it, she had to agree with Esme; she had fallen in love with it.

"I wonder if Charlie's allergies would improve if I had a vacuum like this," Renee said once she'd finished the upstairs.

Esme nodded. "Carlisle's did. I promise you, it was the best four hundred dollars I ever spent."

Renee did a double take at the appliance. "Four hundred _American_ dollars?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, they're pricey, but when you add up all you spend on allergy meds and tissues, you'd probably come out ahead," Esme reasoned.

Renee was still looking at the vacuum in shock when Alice and Rosalie emerged from the master bedroom with verbal applause and accolades.

"I love it, Bella!" Alice exclaimed.

The master bedroom was the only room in the house that was completely furnished and decorated. Bella knew why everyone thought that was – that she and Edward planned to spend most of their time as newlyweds in that room. While there was an element of truth in that logic, that wasn't the only reason the room was done.

"It was the only room in the house that Edward actually wanted input on," Bella said. "He had a whole list of things he didn't want," Bella paused in preparation of ticking them off. "No floral prints, nothing hanging over or above his head, no painted wood and no canopies or netting."

"Yes, he's a little on the claustrophobic side," Esme laughed.

"Well it certainly looks like you worked well within your limitations. I love the neutral colors," Rosalie said.

"And it's not cluttered. I always clutter up everything," Alice said. "I never know when to stop."

"Well I didn't do it on my own. I consulted a lot of magazines and catalogs," Bella admitted.

"But I see your little touches here and there. Don't sell yourself short," Renee patted Bella on the shoulder as she walked down the hall to finish working on one of the upstairs bathrooms.

They all disbanded to finish their respective areas of the house, and pretty soon they were ready to move some of the furniture pieces inside that were being stored in the garage. There was a small table for the kitchen, a dining table for the dining room, a living room set and a desk for Edward's office that he was adamant about moving himself.

Actually, he didn't want Bella moving any of the furniture, and she had promised that she wouldn't. So Charlie and Carlisle showed up later that afternoon with hand trucks and furniture dollies to do the heavy lifting.

Edward, who'd been working late to ensure uninterrupted time off after the wedding, stopped by during his brief lunch break. He showed up at the house just as Esme and Renee had finished situating the living room and were placing small decorative elements on the coffee table.

"Looks great, Son," Carlisle told Edward of his home.

"Thanks, Dad, but I'm afraid Bella gets most of the credit for this," Edward said as he searched for his betrothed. "Is she around?" There was a slight agitation to his demeanor as he noticed the amount of work Bella had obviously done without his assistance.

"She's in the kitchen with Alice and Rosalie," Esme said.

Edward ventured into the kitchen to find Bella seated on the counter polishing silverware and placing it in a drawer caddy. She looked up to find him watching her with a forced expression of sternness on his face.

"I told you not to overdo it today," he reminded her, but his gentle eyes gave away that he was lightly chiding her.

"I didn't," Bella smiled. "I've had a lot of help."

"Well, it looks great from where I'm standing," Edward smiled back.

Bella looked around at the kitchen. The clean glass panes in the cabinet doors showed off the new dishes stacked inside them. The granite countertops sparkled with non-use and the light cherry wood of the cabinets filled the room with their unsullied aroma.

"It does look nice, doesn't it?" she agreed.

Edward fleetingly looked around at the kitchen. "Oh, yeah. The kitchen's nice, too," he winked. Then he leaned forward for a kiss.

They were just heating up when Charlie walked in and cleared his throat.

"Bee?" he interrupted.

"Yes, Dad?" Bella responded, quickly wiping at her mouth.

"I just wanted to let you know that your mother and I are heading out for a bit. She said she'll come back later if you want her to."

Bella hopped down off the counter and walked her parents out. Edward and his parents trailed after them as they had last minute details to attend to and Edward had to return to work.

Now that the house had quieted of furniture moving and humming vacuums, Rosalie placed a sleeping Leah in her baby seat on the kitchen floor before joining Alice and Bella to help put away the rest of the sliver and stemware.

"How are you feeling?" Alice asked as she slightly nudged Bella. "Are you getting excited?"

Bella nodded. "Everything has been happening so fast that I haven't really gotten a chance to let it all sink in, but the other day, when we turned in our wedding vows…it was so surreal."

"Are you scared?" Rosalie asked point blank.

Bella smiled slightly before looking down at the floor. "Terrified," she whispered.

"Oh, honey!" Alice gently rubbed her back. "Don't be scared!"

"I don't know. Maybe terrified isn't the right word, but…there's just so much I don't know; so much ambiguity and I wonder if I'm already supposed to know things…" Bella's voice faded.

"But that's the fun of it," Alice encouraged. "You get to learn all these incredible things together for the rest of your lives."

"What sorts of things are you afraid of?" Rosalie asked practically.

"Just little things…dumb stuff that I can't stop thinking about," Bella shook her head. "Like…ah, never mind. It's silly."

"What is it?" Alice pressed.

Bella looked around to verify that they were truly alone before leaning in close and whispering, "Like what am I supposed to wear on my wedding night?" she blushed. "Because every time I think about emerging from the bathroom stark naked, it makes me so nervous!"

Alice and Rosalie traded amused glances.

"See. I told you it was silly," Bella slumped down against the counter.

Alice shook her head. "No, it's not silly. It's just nerves. When I was marrying Jasper, I couldn't stop fixating on him seeing me first thing in the morning with messy hair and bad breath. For the first week we were married, I woke up a couple hours before him to brush my teeth and brush my hair. It was ridiculous – especially when I realized that _he_ had bad breath and bad hair in the morning and it didn't change how crazy I was about him one bit."

"I was freaked out about Emmett seeing my dirty laundry," Rosalie admitted. "I think we just want to keep them from seeing our flaws up close for as long as we can. Which is silly when you think about it, because that's why we love them in the first place: they love us in spite of everything else."

"True," Bella agreed half-heartedly.

"And you don't have to worry about the wedding night thing. Esme brought me and Alice these beautiful long, satin negligees as bridal gifts. She calls it "wrapping paper" for her son's most important present." Rosalie grinned at Bella. "Try not to over-analyze the fact that your mother-in-law plans for her son to 'unwrap' you."

"Actually, at this point, nothing Esme says or does surprises me. Not since the Quilting Bee where she told the entire room that she likes giving her husband oral sex."

"Try walking in on it," Alice shivered at the thought.

The three of them burst into gales of laughter at that point, waking up Leah. Rosalie broke off from the group and went to retrieve her baby, who was ready for her afternoon meal.

Once awake, Leah quickly became the center of attention. Alice and Bella took turns holding and cradling her while Rosalie accepted the rare break she was being given.

"Have you been using that machine you bought to chart your cycle?" Rosalie asked. "Because if not, you're going to have one of those real soon," she indicated toward Leah.

Bella nuzzled the baby against her shoulder. "Not that I don't adore babies, but, yes, I have been using my Ladycomp religiously."

Alice reached for Leah then, and Bella immediately felt guily at the insensitivity of discussing preventing birth when it wasn't even an option for Alice. Rosalie obviously felt the same way, because her next comment shifted the conversation entirely.

"I don't know what I'm going to do when Emmett goes up to the lake house with the boys. Thank goodness it's only for one night," Rosalie sighed.

In an effort to salvage a tradition, Carlisle was taking his sons up to the family's lake house to assist Edward in observing the Cannabean custom of separating the bride and the groom for twenty-four hours prior to the wedding. This separation was a symbolic way of differentiating the end of the betrothal relationship from matrimonial union.

"Jasper's going too, right, Alice?" Bella asked.

Alice shrugged sheepishly. "I'm not really sure. I know Carlisle asked him, but he wasn't sure he could. He's got work and his weekly meetings he can't miss and just…"

"But I thought his AA meetings were on Wednesdays," Rosalie interjected. "They're only going to be gone from Thursday night to Saturday morning. You can stay with me if you don't want to be alone. I'll happily take the company."

Alice looked as if she just wanted everyone to drop the subject. "Yes, well…I'm just saying what he said to me. For whatever reason, he's unsure about it." Alice turned pleading eyes toward Bella. "He's had a really good few weeks and if this is something that's going to set him off, I'd rather just leave it alone, you know?"

"I understand," Bella told her.

"So, don't have Edward say anything to him, or whatever. I just…you know, want to let whatever happens, happen."

"Got it," Bella affirmed.

So the next time she and Edward were together, and he mentioned going away with his father and his brothers, Bella simply listened, but didn't add any opinions on the matter. Because if Jasper was still upset even after the gesture Edward had extended, then he was going to have to come to terms with things on his own. As far as Bella was concerned, Edward had done enough and she didn't want anything to ruin these happy days right before their wedding.

And they were extremely happy days.

Edward's family started to arrive a few days before the wedding so that they could attend the family feast the Cullen's had planned so their relatives could meet Bella before the wedding. Bella took an immediate liking to most of Edward's extended family – except for his distant cousin Merlin, who kept trying to hug all the women whenever they passed by him.

"Hide your daughters," Edward whispered to Emmett when he saw Merlin headed in their direction. "Merlin's being creepy."

But there was no need for a warning. Emmett and Rosalie didn't let their children out of their sight. Family or no family, some of the people who'd made the journey were complete strangers to the Cullens. There were also a few people present that seemed determined to sully the celebratory vibe by dwelling on the past. When a great aunt that Edward didn't remember asked him if he "intended to go through with the wedding this time around", he simply looked over at Bella and stated confidently, "Most definitely."

That wasn't the only instance of someone bringing up Edward's previous attempt at marriage, which was the likely explanation for the distance Alice and Jasper put between themselves and everyone else. Though they attended the event, they stayed on the outskirts and interacted with the immediate family only. It wasn't until the main meal was about to be served that Carlisle noticed they weren't present; nor was Edward.

"We'd like to start out with a prayer for you and Edward," Carlisle told Bella when he found her seated with a few people. "Do you know where he is?"

"He was here just a second ago," Bella said, looking throughout the room. She followed Carlisle so that when he located Edward, they wouldn't be separated again.

After fifteen minutes, Bella started to get worried. Logically she knew the chances that something had actually gone wrong were slim, but that didn't keep her heart from pounding in her chest.

"Do you have your phone?" Bella asked Carlisle. "Maybe you could call him."

"Good thinking," Carlisle smiled. He pulled out his phone and dialed Edward's number, but after a few moments he hung up. "He didn't answer."

"He probably didn't hear it. It's pretty loud in there," Bella commented. Her words were light but her thoughts were anxious as she searched over the sea of people for the familiar hue of Edward's unique hair.

They made their way through the house and onto the back deck. They kept their interactions with people brief as they searched for Edward – though this was quite a feat, as they were approached every few inches by someone new.

Suddenly Alice came into view, racing toward the house. Bella moved toward her quickly to tell her that lunch was ready and to ask her if she'd seen Edward.

But then she noticed that Alice was crying.

Hard.

"Alice? What is it? What's wrong?" Bella asked her.

But Alice simply shook her head and held up her hand to keep Bella at bay. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she fled into the house and out of sight.

Carlisle and Bella looked at one another in wonder and Bella could now see the nervousness she felt reflected in Carlisle's features as well.

They took a few more steps before they veered the direction they'd seen Alice come from. Swiftly, they rounded the corner of the house and Carlisle stopped so abruptly that Bella nearly bumped into him. When she heard his sharp intake of breath, she craned her neck to see what held his attention.

There, slightly beyond Esme's flower garden, nearly concealed by a large rhododendron plant, were two lean figures: one standing upright bearing the weight of the other, who was hunched over, crippled with grief.

Undecipherable laments left Jasper's mouth as the brothers clung to one another, their bodies intermittingly jolted under the force of Jasper's heaving sobs.

Bella watched Edward's face for signs of distress but saw none. From where she stood she could barely make out his words of comfort telling Jasper that it was alright, but Jasper was too overwrought with emotion to find relief from his brother, and so he kept apologizing and asking Edward to forgive him.

To her right, Bella could see Carlisle's eyes brimming with unshed tears at the reconciliation of his two warring sons. Acting as if she hadn't noticed, she stepped aside and turned back to go inside, thus granting the family this moment of healing undisturbed.

Esme was the first to approach when Bella entered the dining area and Bella quickly assured her that all was well and that everyone would be in as soon as they could. Without knowing the details of the delay, Esme looked to Emmett to pray over the food and as soon as he did so, the room erupted into activity as everyone moved to fill their plates and continue their conversations.

Bella went in search of Alice to make sure she was okay and found her on the second floor, in the laundry room. The large window provided her a view of the side of the house and she was watching Edward and Jasper with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Alice?" Bella broached her carefully, unsure of Alice's frame of mind. "Is everything okay?"

Alice looked over suddenly and offered Bella a watery smile. "Everything is wonderful…truly."

Alice took a step toward Bella and enveloped her in a hug. "I can't believe it, Bella," she cried as she pulled Bella down to sit beside her on the low countertop. "One minute Jasper and I were just walking around, trying to stay out of everyone's way, and the next minute – everything happened so fast."

"You saw the tree, then?" Bella whispered.

Alice nodded. "How long have you known?"

"Not long at all. He took me to show me our names in the tree, and that's when I noticed that he'd carved yours and Jasper's as well. He didn't tell me anything about it beforehand," Bella explained.

Alice took a deep breath. "When we walked by, I glanced over to see if maybe Edward had added your names. It was always something that kind of made me sad – that Jasper felt uncomfortable putting our initials on the tree. Not that I blamed him. I felt uncomfortable, too. I just wanted…you know…to be included.

"Anyway, I saw the part of the tree that the bark had been cleared off first, but it said J and A instead of Edward and Bella. And honestly, it took me a minute to realize that it was me and Jasper; I just kept trying to figure out who J and A was!"

Alice took a moment to wipe her nose.

"What did Jasper say?" Bella asked.

"At first I thought he was mad," Alice stated hoarsely, her hand to her throat. "He kind of frowned and then, all of a sudden he just…crumbled. And then he started crying…and then I started crying…" much like she was at that moment. "It was like it was a moment ordained by God or something, because then we look up, and there's Edward. He was standing off to the side of the house showing some people Esme's garden and by the time Jasper made it over to him, he was bawling so hard that Edward thought something bad had happened and he kept asking Jasper what was wrong…which made Jasper cry even harder.

"So then I walked up to them and tried to explain to Edward why Jasper was crying, but when I looked at Edward's face and saw the genuine fear and concern he had for his brother…I couldn't speak. All I could manage to say was, 'I love you so much', which, of course, confused the heck out of him." Alice paused to glance at Bella for a reaction. "Finally, I just pointed at the tree and told him thank you. I think he understood what was happening by that point. And then when Jasper looked up at him and said he was sorry…I tried to say I was sorry, too, but it was just too much. That's when I came back to the house." Alice sniffed as a fresh trail of tears marked her face. "Oh, Bella. You have no idea how good it felt to see that…to _say_ that…"

"I think I have an idea," Bella said, remembering the joyful fluttering in her heart at what she'd witnessed firsthand. Walking back to the window, Bella saw that the area Edward and Jasper had been occupying was now vacant.

"They might be looking for us downstairs," Bella said.

"You go ahead. I just…need a moment," Alice said quietly.

Bella nodded her understanding, before rushing downstairs to find Edward. It sounded like he'd just had a moment that was years in the making, but she wanted to make sure it was as freeing for him as it seemed to be for his brother and Alice.

When Bella arrived back in the dining room, to eyes unaware, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. However, she spotted Carlisle and Esme in the corner of the kitchen, their heads together as they whispered to one another. Emmett and Rosalie seemed to step up and take charge as only older siblings are in tuned to do. Charlie and Renee looked puzzled yet unassuming as they watched the Cullens in-between bites of food.

Finally, Bella's eyes found Edward, and in them she saw the same exact thing she was feeling: the overwhelming need and desire to just get away from everyone else and be alone together.

As soon as she was within an arm's length, Edward reached out and pulled her close. She could see the pinked rims of his eyes as he cradled her body against his.

"Hey you," she whispered into his ear. "Are you okay?"

"Even better," he whispered back.

And just like the strong couples that surrounded them throughout the room, Edward and Bella were content just to be side-by-side, no words needed. They knew that the day would come when they would have each other's undivided attention, but for the time being they respectfully submitted to the event at present until the time came for them to bid their family goodnight.

And on the precipice of their wedding day, it wasn't just the visiting family they were bidding adieu, but each other as well. For that night, Edward was casting off with his father and Emmett while Bella would return to her parents' house for her final nights under their roof.

But before they went their separate ways, Edward and Bella made an effort to spend some alone time together. They stood on the front porch wishing everyone who left the house a thoughtful farewell.

"See you on Saturday," Edward's great-aunt stated with a smile as she stepped off the porch. "God bless you."

"Thank you," Bella sighed as she leaned into Edward.

Soon the rest of the Cullen's and Bella's parents came to stand on the porch as Emmet and Jasper prepared to leave with their families.

"We're taking off in an hour, right?" Emmett asked his father and Edward, anxious to get on the road.

"Yes, I just have to change and check in with the hospital and I'll be ready to go," Carlisle responded. "What about you, Edward? You ready?"

Edward nodded before looking over at Jasper. "You're going, right?"

"Uh…I just need to pack," Jasper said. "Meet back here in an hour?"

"We'll pick you up," Emmett offered.

Alice looked over at Rosalie and smiled. "Get the guest room ready. It looks like I'm staying with you."

Bella knew he didn't intend for anyone to see, but she noticed the happy wink that Carlisle tossed in Edward's direction and she knew it was because of his inclusion of Jasper in the plans. Edward had stated from the beginning that he didn't mind if Jasper tagged along, but it appeared as if Jasper had been waiting for a personal invitation from his brother before he made his decision.

"Well," Carlisle clasped his hands together loudly. "Let's let these two love birds have a minute to themselves, shall we?"

Edward and Bella were grateful for Carlisle's observation and understanding of their need to check in with one another before their twenty-four hour cessation of communication.

"You look _really_ happy, Edward," Bella said once they'd made it back inside to Carlisle's study and they were finally alone.

"I am so happy," Edward began, "that it frightens me."

When Edward saw the worried expression on Bella's face, he lightened his words with an explanation.

"Jasper and Alice seem really happy, too."

"It's weird, but when I carved their initials in the tree, I knew something would happen, but it still surprised me when he reacted. I think I'm still in shock. It just all seems too good to be true."

"Getting your brother back?" Bella asked as she rubbed Edward's back soothingly.

"Getting my brother back the same week I get you," he kissed her fingertips, "as my wife."

Edward's words thrilled Bella, but they were overshadowed by the knowledge of their impending separation.

"I'm going to miss you," she told him.

"I'll miss you, too," Edward agreed. "But it's comforting to know that when I get back, we'll be together for the rest of our lives."

Bella stared down at their intertwined finger as if they symbolized what Edward had just said. She snuggled close to him and rested her head on his shoulder, calmed by the simple sound of his breathing.

"Hurry back," she whispered.


	30. Chapter 29 A Vow to Wed

**A Cannabean Wedding, Pt. II:**

**The Vow to Wed. **_Cannabean wedding vows are viewed as a contract between the bride and the groom and can be referred back to as a binding document if deemed necessary. A copy of the vows are required for review by the Cannabean Church at least one week prior to the ceremony, at which time they are issued an official document number and committed to record. The original vows are bound into the couple's respective Betrothal Books so that throughout their marriage, husband and wife are free to refer back to and uphold the words sacred and true._

_

* * *

_

Esme refused to let Bella leave the house without loading her up with leftovers. Therefore, it was with arms running over that Bella carefully opened the backdoor of her house that led straight into the pantry. She overheard voices coming from the living room, so after setting down the packages, she drifted toward the front room to spend time with her parents.

"Can't we wait until the spring?" Renee was heard asking.

"I've held out as long as I can. Things are drying up faster than anyone expected. Joe got his second route taken away from him on Tuesday. We can't wait around until I lose the only route I have. It costs a lot to move," Charlie said.

"I just can't believe it…leaving Bella here…"

"Renee, we have to be realistic. We just can't make it here," Charlie sighed. "I keep thinking about the reason we moved here. We wanted a Cannabean community for Bella, where she could meet someone, marry and have a family of her own. That's happened."

"But, Charlie-"

"Mom? Dad? What are you talking about?" Bella asked as she entered the room.

"Oh, Bella!" Renee sat up straight. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Who's moving?" Bella questioned.

"Who said anyone was moving?" Charlie looked over his shoulder at his daughter.

"I thought you did," Bella answered as she took a seat next to her mother. "That's what it sounded like you said."

"Well that's the trouble with eavesdropping. What you hear is never what it sounds like," Charlie said.

"What?" Bella frowned in confusion.

"What?" Charlie responded with a humorous expression on his face.

Bella realized he was teasing her and she rolled her eyes.

"Did you have a good time today, honey?" Renee asked, changing the subject.

"I had a great time," Bella said as she rested her head against the back of the sofa.

"So…are you all packed and ready to go?" Charlie asked her.

Bella looked over at her father. Suddenly she was overcome with emotion and unable to speak, so she simply nodded.

Renee reached over and placed her hand lightly on Bella's knee. "We are so proud of you sweetheart," she said, with tears in her eyes. "Edward is a wonderful man. It is every mother's dream to see her daughter look at her man the way you look at Edward."

Bella looked down at her lap and blushed underneath her mother's words.

"I never thought I'd see the day when I found someone worthy of you," Charlie said awkwardly as he cleared his throat.

"Daddy – don't," Bella shook her head. "Don't say goodbye to me yet. I'm not ready," she cried.

"I'll never be ready," Charlie's voice cracked. "But you're getting married the day after tomorrow, and I need a head start."

Bella wiped at the tears that had amassed in her eyes. "I didn't think this would be easy," she said softly. "But I had no idea it would be this _hard._"

"I think I'd be just a tad bit offended if it was easy," Charlie joked.

Bella smiled slightly. She knew her father was hiding behind humor to make the emotional blow as painless as possible, but it was hardly working. The numerous emotions she was feeling at once made her body feel as if it was being seized and pulled in different directions.

Thoughts of Edward and starting her life with him left her blissfully happy. Thoughts of being a wife – a woman responsible for her own household - teetered on excitement and apprehension. Musings of the physical responsibilities that came with being Edward's wife stirred up feelings of desire and anxiety at pleasing him and being pleased by him.

And then there were the thoughts of no longer being known as "Charlie and Renee's daughter", but instead, "Edward Cullen's wife". No longer would she simply be her mother's "baby girl" or her father's "Bee", sitting on a barstool in their sunny kitchen trading tales. Time spent in her parents' home would now be as a visitor instead of a resident.

"I'm going to miss this," Bella gestured at her surroundings to denote the easy way she and her parents came together in conversation on a quiet evening.

And though her expression was a simple one, it summed up how each person in the room was feeling, without taking away from the joyous and momentous occasion that lie ahead.

Less than twenty-five miles away, a similar expression of impending change was taking place among Carlisle and his three sons.

Holed up in a cabin on the bank of Lake Ozette, the three men sat around a roaring fire and stared blankly at its snapping red flames.

"Well we're a bunch of fuddy-duddies, that's for sure," Emmett said regarding the lack of activity that was taking place.

"I think Edward is just being pensive and introspective," Carlisle guessed as he looked over at his youngest son for agreement.

Edward, upon hearing his name, snapped out of his thought-evoked trance. "Huh?"

"Dad thinks you're brooding," Emmett restated.

"Oh," Edward smiled nervously. "I guess I am."

It had been four hours since he'd kissed Bella goodbye, and all he could think about was reuniting with her. He knew his brothers were most likely looking forward to the fishing and boating activities their father had planned, but Edward only wanted to sleep in an effort to quickly pass the time before he and Bella would be together again.

"Emmett, do you remember how you were feeling when we came down here right before your wedding?" Carlisle asked.

Emmett looked serious for a moment before a smile broke out onto his face. "I was scared to death," he admitted.

"I'm not scared," Edward shook his head, sounding very much like a little brother surrounded by his older brothers. "I'm just…a little nervous, I guess."

"About what?" Carlisle prompted.

"Just…you know…everything I _don't_ know," Edward answered.

"Yeah, see, you can't think like that," Emmett said. "You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to figure everything out."

"Spoken like a man who figured that out the hard way," Carlisle grinned.

Emmett nodded. "Yeah, but I'm a quick learner, and after about two weeks I realized that Rosalie is much more patient when I tell her I don't know, versus when I act like I know but then mess something up."

"But…like…does she ever get disappointed in you for not knowing things?" Edward questioned.

Jasper, who had been very quiet up until this point, shifted in his seat. "It doesn't seem like Bella ever gets disappointed with you."

Edward knew that it was actually quite the contrary; that Bella _had_ been disappointed in him, and on more than one occasion. But Jasper was trying to be supportive and therefore, Edward simply smiled and accepted the encouraging words.

"Wait a minute. Are you talking about sex?" Emmett asked.

"No!" Edward insisted as he shot his brother a warning look and then gestured to his father with his eyes.

But Emmett would not be dissuaded.

"Because not knowing what you're doing in the bedroom – now _that_ can be a little disappointing."

"Em, you're going to freak him out," Jasper said.

"I'm not talking about sex!" Edward nearly shouted.

"Not necessarily," Carlisle leaned forward in his seat, completely ignoring Edward's outburst. "There is something very sexy about a woman who knows what she wants intimately and tells you how to please her."

"Dad, if you use Mom as an example, I'm going to throw myself in the lake until the blood in my veins turn to ice shards that I can then stab myself with," Jasper said dramatically.

"I'm not going to use your mother as an example," Carlisle surrendered, "but I will say that you're completely missing out if you've never heard your wife moan instructions to you while you're-"

"Barbeque!" Edward hollered. "I meant that I don't know how to barbeque!" He spoke over his father. "Or change a tire, or change the oil in the car…the kind of stuff that women expect men to know."

Edward was relieved when he'd finally steered the conversation away from sex. Though he didn't claim to know all there was on the topic, the last thing Edward wanted to do was talk about the mechanics of sex with his family. And he wasn't the only one…

The calm, serene scene Bella had imagined as the final days in her parents' house was not at all the reality that she was experiencing. Just one day before her vows, the phone rang non-stop, there was a never-ending assembly line of wedding favors that needed to be tied, food was mistakenly delivered to the Swan's and had to be driven to the vineyard, gray rain clouds loomed on the horizon, and to top it off, Bella had not seen or spoken to Edward for a full seventeen hours.

And of course, because she _couldn't_ talk to him, there were so many things she needed to say to him. She needed to hear that he was as nervous as she was; that he also had a team of hummingbirds trying to peck their way out of his abdomen. She needed to know that he missed her as much as she desperately missed him, and she hoped that as he looked up at the same gray sky that she had been examining for the past twenty minutes, that he, too, would find comfort in knowing that it covered them both.

"It's not going to rain, Bella," Renee said as she walked up to where Bella was standing at the window. "The forecast said that it's not supposed to start raining until Sunday night."

"I don't know if you've noticed, but no one around here really holds the weatherman accountable for being wrong. And he's wrong more often than he's right," Bella huffed as she turned away from the window. "I don't know why I'm hoping that it doesn't rain. It rains like everyday here!"

Renee smiled at Bella's nervous tirade. "I'm going to have a cup of tea. Would you like some?"

Bella refused, but her mother gave her the soothing liquid anyway. They sat together quietly at the kitchen table, working cathartically on the wedding favors until they'd finally tied the last bow and Alice came to retrieve the final batch.

Because Bella had made her wishes known, that she wanted to spend the day before her wedding quietly with her mother, Alice didn't linger at the Swan residence. Instead, she dropped off a last minute gift from Esme before giving Bella a tight squeeze and wishing her a restful night.

"It's the last one you're going to get for at least a week," Alice whispered with a sinister grin as she ducked out of the front door.

"What did she say?" Renee asked when Bella had shut the door behind Alice's departure.

"Nothing," Bella shied away from answering as she fingered the ribbon on the large box from Esme.

"Are you going to wait to open that?" Renee nodded toward the gift with its beautiful embellished wrapping paper.

"Should I?"

Renee shrugged. "Now is as good a time as any, I suppose."

But instead of stay and watch Bella carefully peel away the gift wrap and reveal the carton underneath, Renee disappeared into the back of the house and reemerged carrying a small antique looking box, which she quietly set aside and pointed at the larger gift.

At her mother's urging, Bella opened the box from Esme and wasn't surprised to find exactly what Rosalie and Alice had told her she'd get: a lovely long satin and chiffon nightgown in a delicate lavender color.

"Wow," Renee breathed as she appreciated the garment. "That is-"

"See through!" Bella interjected as she held the gown up to the window and gazed right through it.

"Maybe there's another piece," Renee added as she looked inside the box. But there was nothing else.

"I can't wear this! I'll look like a …tramp," Bella whispered the last word.

"Oh nonsense," Renee waved away Bella's words as she held the gown up to Bella. "It's a beautiful color on you."

Bella put the gown aside and focused on the box her mother had set on the table.

"What's that?" she asked.

Renee looked enthusiastically joyful as she reached over and grabbed the small box. She took the lid off and pulled out two bone china and pearl hair combs.

"These were my great-grandmother's," Renee said as she held up the ornamental items. "She gave them to my mother on her wedding day, and my mother gave them to me," Renee reached up and placed a comb delicately in Bella's hair. "And I've been waiting twenty-four years to give them to you."

"Mom," Bella reached for the second comb. "These are so beautiful. Are they glass?"

"Porcelain," Renee answered. "And they're very delicate, so make sure you take them out before you and Edward get in bed tomorrow night."

"Mom!" Bella backed away from her mother in embarrassment.

"What?" Renee asked innocently. "What'd I say?"

"Nothing," Bella shook it off and began placing the gifts back in their respective containers.

Renee quietly watched Bella place the lids on both boxes.

"Do you have any questions, Bella? About your wedding night?"

"Nope," Bella said quickly.

"Are you sure? Because…it kind of seems like you don't know what to expect."

"I know what to expect."

"So you understand that your husband is actually expecting to _see_ your body?"

"Mother," Bella warned, battling against the topic.

"Sweetheart, I'm just trying to make sure that you're not blindsided, and if you have a problem with a sheer nightie and don't think things are going to get a little rough-"

"Rough?" Bella stopped what she was doing and looked over at her mother. "What do you mean 'rough'?"

"Not violent, honey," Renee quickly put Bella at ease. "Just…well delicate hair combs would definitely get broken. He's going to be on top of you, and-"

"Mom, please stop," Bella begged.

"Yes, _please_ stop," Charlie echoed as he walked into the room.

Bella was a cross between mortified that her father had heard the part of Edward being on top of her and relieved that Charlie had put the kibosh on the topic of sex.

"Charlie, maybe you can provide Bella with the male's perspective on what to expect tomorrow night," Renee suggested.

"No!" Both Bella and Charlie screamed in unison.

Bella quickly grabbed her things and made for a quick exit, but just before she left it dawned on her that her father shouldn't have been there.

"Dad, why aren't you at work?" she asked him.

Renee looked at him as well, but instead of curiosity, her expression was painted with anxiety.

Charlie didn't say anything for a second, but then he looked at Bella as if he was extremely confused. "I'm sorry, but, aren't you getting married tomorrow?"

Bella smiled. "Tomorrow, Dad. Not today," she responded.

Over the last few weeks, Bella had noticed the way her mother had been stretching meals, adding water to shampoo bottles, turning off any extra lights, walking whenever she could instead of driving the car. It was clear that money was tight and Bella knew that her father needed to work all the hours he could. Therefore, taking the day before her wedding off was not helpful to the family.

But Charlie didn't want to talk anymore about it. Instead he changed the subject to his attire for the wedding and commented that he needed to try on his tuxedo again to make sure it still fit after all the food he'd eaten at the Cullen's the previous day.

At the mention of the Cullens, Bella felt a pang of sadness at Edward's absence. She retreated to her room, which now only housed her bed and a dresser, to busy her mind and stave off loneliness and nerves. For the rest of the afternoon her parents allowed her the space that she needed to say goodbye to her life as Isabella Marie Swan, and when she ventured into the kitchen later that evening to find Charlie embracing a crying Renee, Bella allowed her parents that very same thing.

Then, later that night, right before bed, Bella's parents returned to sit with her. There were a million things to say and yet nothing that hadn't already been said.

"I love you, kiddo," Charlie said as he stood up to go to bed. "Try to get some sleep."

"I like that you said, 'try'," Bella smiled as she hugged him and reiterated that she loved him.

"Goodnight, baby girl," Renee said as she hugged Bella. "You're going to have the most beautiful day tomorrow…and don't worry, it's not going to rain."

And it didn't.

The next morning, Alice showed up bright and early with baskets of curling irons, makeup and a host of toiletries that Bella had no idea she needed.

"Rosalie brought me this stuff the day I got married. I don't know what half of it is, but I thought I should bring it anyway," Alice admitted.

Bella appreciated the deed but passed on most of the makeup that smelled like something found on a farm.

"Oh, Esme thought you might like to know that Edward is back," Alice spoke as if her words were a mere aside.

A huge gust of breath left Bella as she sighed in relief. It had been a concern that she hadn't shared with anyone, but she couldn't stop worrying that something would happen that would prevent Edward from returning to her on their wedding day.

"I want to call him," Bella said.

Alice shook her head. "But you can't."

"I can't _see_ him. Nobody said I couldn't call him."

"But you can't," Alice stated firmly. "It isn't done."

Once the notion of speaking to Edward was planted in Bella's mind, she could not be deterred. She picked up her phone and handed it to Alice.

"You've never played by all the rules, Alice," Bella reminded her.

Alice looked at the phone and then rolled her eyes. "Well if I'm going to call, at least let me use my phone so it's not as obvious."

"Alice?" Edward asked when he answered.

"Hi, Edward," Alice greeted him. "Bella is skirting the lines of breaking the rules, but she made me call you to make sure that you're doing well."

"I'm great. How is she?"

"She's fine now that you're back."

"Tell her I missed her."

Alice turned to Bella. "He missed you."

"I missed him, too!" Bella said loud enough so that Edward could hear her. "I love you, Edward!"

"He loves you, too," Alice recited. "And he'll see you in two hours."

Two hours. That was all that stood between Bella's old life and her new. Two hours. Never had two words produced such panic and euphoria.

"Bella, stop crying," Renee urged as they travelled over to the wedding venue.

The tears started almost as soon as Alice ended the phone call with Edward. There were brief periods of respite, but they didn't last long.

"I can't help it. I'm just so…happy," Bella said, despite her tears. Her emotions were so overwhelming that the bouts of tears were the only remedy.

"Your eyes are going to be all red and puffy," Alice warned.

"I don't care," Bella said. "And neither will Edward."

Yet when they arrived, Rosalie took one look at Bella and threatened her with hemorrhoid cream.

"I swear I'll use it if you don't stop crying," she said.

"I can't!" Bella claimed.

"Try," Rosalie persisted.

Bella allowed herself to be distracted when Rosalie, with Leah on her hip, revealed the surprise that she'd been working on for Edward and Bella's wedding. Instead of a children's processional made up of only her children, Rosalie had created a chorus with many of the children in the church and some of their neighbors.

"When you hear the bells and the children singing, that'll be your cue to walk down the aisle," Rosalie said. "But you don't have to remember this. Your dad knows all about it."

Bella heeded Rosalie's words and didn't worry about her entry or the timing of it. Instead, she sat still while her mother helped curl her hair. She listened to the little tidbits of information she was able to glean about Edward from Alice whenever she went back to the main house to pick up something or relay a message.

And then she put on her wedding dress.

The silk and chiffon fabric slid easily along her body as her mother helped her pull it on and zip it up. The pearl and crystal accents at the bodice and sleeves glistened in the light and accentuated the combs that Renee had slid into Bella's hair to stay her veil.

Renee stood back and looked Bella over with pride. "You were made to wear that dress," she said. "Beautiful isn't even a descriptive enough word."

Bella looked through the mirror at her mother and mouthed '_thank you'_ as she reached back and grasped Renee's hand.

And the photographer, who'd entered the room undetected, was able to capture that moment in memoriam.

"Places! Places, everyone!"

Esme had seen to it to hire a wedding coordinator at the last minute, and that person was now running around shouting orders and instructions to anyone who would listen. Since Cannabeans did not use music in their ceremonies, there was no musical interlude to alert the attendees to the event's beginning. However, when Carlisle walked up and took his place behind a podium on the other side of the wedding arch, people quickly took heed and began to take their seats.

A tent had been erected just outside the rear entrance of the winery, where Bella would emerge on the arm of her father. An aisle runner covered in lavender rose petals and fern sprigs pointed the way from the tent to the wedding pergola where Edward now stood off to the side, flanked by his brothers. Alice stood on the other side while Rosalie corralled the children to begin their march.

Bella's grip on her father's arm tightened as she heard the melodic tinkling of wedding bells, followed by the sound of children singing at the launch of the children's processional. The wind picked up at that moment and the sound of it rustling the ribbons tied throughout the wedding pergola lent itself to the sound of nature's music.

Charlie gave his daughter a quick kiss and patted her hand. "You know what you made me the day you were born, don't you?"

Bella blinked back tears as she looked up at Charlie.

"The luckiest man in the world," he winked. "And now there's a guy on the other side of this curtain that wants me to share that title with him. What do you think? Should I?"

She managed to nod and squeak out an affirmation.

"Tell you what," Charlie said as he adjusted Bella's veil to cover her face. "I won't cry if you don't."

"Okay," Bella agreed weakly, but it was of no use. Her tears had already betrayed her.

"Here we go."

At Charlie's utterance, the drapes of the tent that had separated Bella from the view of everyone else were drawn back and she and her father began their march toward the man whose eyes were now riveted on his bride.

Everything else seemed to fall out of focus as Bella locked her eyes on Edward. With each step closer she allowed herself to soak in each aspect of him: the crisp lines of his black tuxedo, the way the autumn light slid across his hair, the dichotomy of emotions that danced across his brow… and then finally his smile as he held out his hand for Bella to take.

As soon as their hands were joined, Renee took her place beside Charlie and Esme beside Edward as Carlisle said a prayer to begin the wedding.

With her head bowed and her eyes closed, Bella felt Edward squeeze her hand and she constricted her hold on his in return. It was such a simple gesture, but it put her at ease immediately. As soon as a resounding "Amen" rang out at the end of the prayer, Bella looked up into Edward's eyes and relaxed in the company of her other half.

"At this time, the bride and groom will publicly share their declarations for one another through their vows," Carlisle officiated.

Bella watched as Jasper shuffled forward, removed a parchment scroll from his jacket and handed it to Edward, who unrolled it and cleared his throat before turning his piercing gaze on Bella:

"I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, stand humbly, and openly before my God, my family and my friends to publicly declare my love, devotion and commitment to you, Isabella Marie." Edward, his voice shaking from the weight of his emotion, paused to compose himself.

"As soon as we shared our first conversation, I knew that I couldn't wait until the next one. In just a few words, you showed yourself to be kind, gentle and just as beautiful on the inside as God made you on the outside.

"I promised your father that I would never stop striving to be worthy of the calling of your husband, and now, as you honor me with binding your life to mine, I promise you before God and these witnesses that I will guard that calling with my life. I will cherish your comfort and well being; I will revere your companionship. I will covet only you, and forsake all others. Regardless of good fortune or adversity, I will delight in you unconditionally from this day forward, until death parts us."

Emmett stepped forward and exchanged the scroll of vows for two rings, which Edward accepted and then slid onto the fourth finger of Bella's left hand. In addition to the solitaire that he'd flown to California to retrieve, Edward also placed upon her the Cannabean commitment ring, with its intricate symbols of infinity and unity, that all married Cannabeans wore.

As Bella listened to Edward's beautiful vows, she fought hard to keep from sobbing over the sound of them. Thankfully Alice, when she stepped over to hand Bella her scroll of vows, also handed Bella a small handkerchief to dab her eyes and nose. Bella glanced at her gratefully before unrolling the vows and turning dutifully toward Edward. After a deep, cleansing breath, she began her recitation:

"I, Isabella Marie, of sound mind and faith, rest assuredly in your pledge to love, cherish and commit only to me in front of God and these witnesses.

_ "_From our very first meeting, I was enamored by your confidence and your flawless kindness. I am honored to be bound in spirit to a man of such character, strength and integrity, and I will make it my life's purpose to be more than just a wife to you. I will be your encouragement in times of peace and strife, I will be your anchor in times of turmoil; I will be your joy in dark times and light…" Bella trailed off when her words became incoherent under her weeping. Edward stepped closer to her and held her close until she was composed enough to continue.

"I promise to be your help-mate and your constant supporter. I promise to stand by your side and put my trust in you and the decisions you make for our family. I promise to be faithful and give myself wholly to you. I promise to love you without reservation and without condition. I promise to be open and honest with you, and to cherish you for all of the days of my life."

Alice once again stepped forward to accept Bella's scroll of vows, while Bella accepted from her mother Edward's Cannabean commitment ring. She giggled lightly at the need to have Edward's assistance to get the ring completely onto his finger.

"Those, whom God have joined together, let no man put asunder," Carlisle said when Edward and Bella were once again facing him. He said another prayer over the couple before stepping down from his platform and taking their joined hands in his own.

"In so much as Edward and Isabella have come together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, having given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and having declared same by the giving and receiving of a ring, I pronounce that they are husband and wife." Carlisle beamed down at his son. "You may seal the promises you have made with each other with a kiss."

Bella could see that Edward was trying not to appear eager as he lifted her veil to reveal the face of his wife to the crowd.

In an expertly choreographed move, Edward leaned over and planted a modest but promise-of-more kiss upon Bella's waiting lips.

"To all in attendance," Carlisle's voice rang out, "I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen!"

After a final prayer, Edward and Bella dashed down the aisle to the sound of thunderous applause, whistles and calls of benevolence.

They fled back to the winery, to the small room that had been reserved for Bella to get ready in. Finally alone, they quickly got wrapped up in one another's arms and professed their love, this time, only to each other.

"I didn't think it was possible to see you look more beautiful," Edward said as he looked Bella over in her floor length, empire-waist wedding gown, "but, once again, Mrs. Cullen, you've proven me wrong."

Bella melted at being referred to as 'Mrs. Cullen'. "You look pretty amazing yourself, Mr. Cullen," she told him. She smiled up at him and stared into his eyes happily until he broke the gaze and leaned down and caressed her lips with his own.

Their plight to hide out, even for a few minutes, was a useless one. There was a group of photographers waiting to capture their pictures, not to mention half the town waiting to catch a glimpse of the newlywed couple.

So Bella fixed her makeup and Edward straightened his tie, and the two went off into the vineyard to have a multitude of pictures taken to capture their special day.

The photographer finished up just as the sun dipped behind the trees, and the natural light was replaced by a galaxy of small lit candles. When Edward and Bella entered the vast canopy where the reception was being housed, they were just as awestruck as the rest of the guests.

Alice and Esme had left no detail unconsidered.

The wedding colors of sage and lavender prominently accented the floral centerpieces on each linen-covered table and the aroma of the lavender sachets at each place setting filled the space with a heavenly scent.

Ever so faintly, a harpist played her instrument expertly in the corner, and didn't seem distracted by the number of children that had gathered around her to watch.

Bella stopped in front of a large ice sculpture of swans facing beak to beak to form a heart. On the platform of ice which they sat, the names 'Edward' and 'Bella' were etched.

"That was my only contribution, I swear," Edward surrendered, as if Bella could ever find fault in so lovely a gesture.

"Stop being so perfect. It's intimidating me," Bella smiled as she tilted Edward's face toward hers for a kiss. They broke apart to see their family members staring at them with admiration and appreciation.

As Bella was moving to her place at the wedding party table, Jasper reached out to her and drew her in for a hug.

"Thank you for what you've done for my brother," he said softly. "For what you've done for my family."

Bella was visibly moved by his words. "Thank _you_, Jasper. Edward is more than I dared to ever dream of and your entire family is so welcoming and kind and I am honored to be a part of it."

"There has never been anyone else more suited for Edward," Jasper whispered before placing a kiss atop Bella's head and moving aside so that the rest of the family could offer their congratulations.

Bella did not misunderstand his words. In that moment, they were the only two people who could truly appreciate how incomplete they would have been if Alice and Edward hadn't parted that many years ago.

After the family was seated, Edward and Bella took their places in the middle of a vast table and sat while their guests came to talk, take pictures and offer gifts. The receiving line seemed never ending, and by the end of it, Bella felt she was well acquainted with more than half the entire town.

"You tired?" Edward leaned over and whispered when there was a moment of reprieve from the crowd.

"Yeah," Bella sighed. "Aren't you?"

"Not really," Edward said. "Do you want me to get you some coffee?"

Bella shook her head. "If I drink coffee now, I'll be up all night."

"Exactly," Edward said, holding back a grin.

Bella refused to let her self-consciousness take over. Instead of looking away, she held eye contact with Edward in a silent declaration that she knew exactly what he was referencing. Her steady gaze affirmed that she was in complete agreement: that she was ready to unabashedly and uninhibitedly make love to her husband.

* * *

_troth_/trôTH/Noun

1. Faith or loyalty when pledged in a solemn agreement or undertaking.

2. Truth.


	31. Chapter 30 The Isolation Period

**The Isolation Period. **_Cannabean wedding customs do not hold, at their conclusion, a honeymoon. Instead, the newly married pair is escorted to their home by their family, where the couple then says goodbye to any and all outside communication for a period of one week. The front door of the couple's home is adorned with ribbons, chords, and the scrolls of their wedding vows to signify to all passersby that inside the house resides a newly bonded pair that is to be undisturbed by outside influences. The couple uses this time to deeply engage in only one another, both physically and emotionally._

_

* * *

_

**Saturday – 11:39 p.m.**

Edward stood off to the side while Bella said her farewells and goodnights to her parents and did his best to avoid eye contact with Charlie Swan. Man-to-man, they each knew exactly what was about to happen and the last thing Edward wanted to do was look into the eyes of a father whose daughter was about to lose her virginity, even if she had waited until after her wedding to do it.

After a bit more fanfare, Edward lifted Bella over the threshold of their new home and shut the door to the outside world for seven entire days.

"Finally," Edward said as he set Bella down on her feet and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I was beginning to think that everyone planned to stay the night with us."

Bella giggled nervously before looking around at the house she hadn't set foot in for a few days. "Wow. Our mothers have been busy," she said as she took in how neat and tidy everything was.

"You should see the kitchen. There's enough food in there to feed a small country," Edward added.

His eyes trailed Bella as she walked about the house, taking in the preparations that had been made to ensure that they would not need to leave the house for the duration of the Isolation Period. He watched as she made a full circle around the room before coming to join him at the base of the stairs.

"Hi," he whispered when she was once again standing next to him.

"Hi," she replied, her tone matching his.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked her. He'd seen her take what looked like aspirin a few hours ago and was terrified that she was going to tell him that she had a headache.

"I feel great," she smiled up at him.

"Do you need coffee?" he asked, hinting that he had no intention of sleeping in the near future. He knew his bride caught his meaning, because she glimmered red from the nape of her neck to the tips of her ears.

"No," she said softly. "Just a hot shower."

It was Edward's first thought to suggest that they shower together, but then he thought better of it. He wanted to savor the first time he saw Bella completely naked before him, and the idea of it being in a steamy shower of water that could turn tepid at any moment didn't sound appealing. Nor did the notion of having his first sexual encounter in a bathroom.

As they ascended the staircase together, Edward held Bella tightly around the waist and every few moments, he'd lean down and kiss her softly.

"After you, Mrs. Cullen," he gestured toward the entry of the master suite. He resisted the urge to say something trite about it being the first time they entered their bedroom as husband and wife.

Bella moved into the room, and immediately set to gathering the items she needed for a shower.

"Do you need help with this?" He touched the sleeve of her wedding dress as they walked toward the closet.

"No, I've got it," Bella said. She removed a hanger and a large box from the walk-in closet before making her way to the bathroom.

"What's that?" Edward pointed at the box.

"My nightgown," Bella called over her shoulder before disappearing into the bathroom and closing the door.

Edward's heart sank just a little at hearing her words. _A nightgown? _Those plaid flannel things his mother wore on cold winter nights when she didn't want to sit by the fireplace?

As Edward listened to the soft pelt of the shower water against the tile, he contemplated knocking on the bathroom door and asking Bella not to put anything on, but then he remembered his father's last few bits of advice. One of the last things Carlisle had said was that if Edward wanted to guarantee a successful wedding night, the most important thing he needed to do was make sure that Bella was comfortable.

"If she's uncomfortable, it makes everything more difficult than it has to be," Carlisle had informed him.

Therefore, Edward left the nightgown issue alone and went to work removing his tuxedo. He undressed down to his underwear, checked the thermostat and turned the lights down to a dim candlelight hue before climbing into bed to wait for his bride, where he passed the time until he heard the water finally turn off.

It seemed like an eternity before the knob turned and the door opened, but suddenly there was Bella, bashfully standing before him.

And he nearly swallowed his tongue at the sight of her.

The "gown" that she wore hardly qualified as one. In the soft light of the room, Edward could see an outline of the thin layers of fabric that formed the garment; fabric that did nothing to conceal the buds of Bella's breasts or the shadow of hair between her legs. When she saw that he was watching her, she made a quick dash for the bed and quickly nestled under the covers.

"You look beautiful," Edward assured her as he pulled the blankets down a bit and moved toward the center of the bed.

"Thank you," Bella said quietly. The nervousness emanated from her in tangible waves and Edward tried to quickly think of a way to ease her mind.

"So," he began, "did you like the wedding?"

"I _loved_ our wedding," she said, looking up at him. Even in the low light, he could see the exuberance on her face.

"What was your favorite part?"

Bella sighed blissfully. "I can't pick just one thing; it was all so perfect. The location, the fact that it didn't rain, the colors, walking down the aisle to you…"

"_That_ was my favorite part," Edward smiled at her. "And right now." He leaned over her and planted a kiss softly on her cheek, her neck and her lips. The close proximity alerted him to the soft trembling of her body.

"Are you nervous?" he asked her.

"I'm terrified," she confessed in a shaky breath.

"Sweetheart, why?" Edward asked as he lovingly stroked her arm.

"I just want everything to be perfect for you," Bella said. "What if you don't like it?"

"I'll love it," Edward said quickly. "And it's already perfect because it's going to be with you."

Bella touched Edward's face, the appreciation for his words radiating through her fingertips.

"I love you," she told him.

"Show me," he implored her. He hoped his words communicated what he was really saying – not that she owed him a physical declaration of her statement, but that in making love to him, that's exactly what she was doing, and she needn't be afraid of telling him how she felt with her body.

Tentatively, Bella brought her jaw to Edward's, dragging her bottom lip slowly across his before opening up to touch the tip of his tongue with hers.

Edward did his best to practice restraint as he returned Bella's speculative kisses. With a compulsory patience, Edward's fingers sketched a path down Bella's neck, over her collar bone and across her shoulder, where he gently pushed against the straps of her gown until it fell away and uncovered her breasts. His lips followed after his fingers, while his hands continued to pull the article of clothing away from Bella's body.

Finally, she was completely naked before him, and Edward took his time running his hands over the flesh of her back, her torso, her thighs and her backside. Bella did the same, her hands exploring the muscles of his chest and forearms before dipping down to his waist and resting on the band of his underwear. Without breaking their kiss, Edward shimmied out of his last article of clothing and laid skin-to-skin with Bella for the very first time.

Tender caresses turned to hungry gropes as Edward incrementally increased his fervor until his body was halfway on top of hers and his tongue was buried deeply in her mouth. He braced his weight against one hand, while the other glided over the rigid peaks of Bella's breasts. He listened to her brisk breathing and the trilling rhythm of her heart as she anticipated the hot wetness when he replaced his hand with his mouth and suckled one nipple, and then the other, until she was writhing in ecstasy beneath him.

Bella's soft whimpers of approval spurred Edward on as he moved below her bellybutton, to the silky fine hair atop her sex. He rubbed his palm against her, while, with his middle finger, he probed her slit until he felt the firm, roundness of her swollen clit. With steady, circular strokes, he worked her until her stream of arousal signaled that she was ready for more. Slowly he inserted one finger and encountered the smooth slickness inside.

He was concentrating so diligently on what he was doing to Bella, that when her hand reached down and encircled his erection, he nearly came on contact. Her ministrations felt so good that he didn't want her to stop, but he also knew that he wouldn't last much longer if she didn't. Hastily he slid another finger into Bella, ignoring the resistance he felt as she stretched.

When Bella's upward and downward strokes pummeled the head of his penis in repetitive succession, Edward knew he needed to enter Bella quickly or their first attempt at sex was going to end before it even started.

Cautiously, he moved her hand away and positioned himself at her entrance. He momentarily paused to kiss his wife and reaffirm his feelings for her before pressing into her core. Edward felt Bella's thighs tighten against him as her legs instinctively came together to keep out the intrusion.

"Babe, can you open your legs a little wider?" he asked.

"Okay," but despite her agreement, Bella's legs barely moved.

"Come on, sweetheart," Edward coaxed. "I need you to relax."

"Okay," she said again.

Edward eased back until he saw her legs shift open wider but as soon as he moved in for penetration, she constricted once again. However, this time Edward didn't back down. The friction he felt as his tip pressed and pushed forward into Bella's center was a feeling Edward was unprepared for. His sharp inhales and strained exhales drowned out Bella's faint bleats of discomfort. It wasn't until she cried out in obvious pain that Edward realized how firmly he was gripping her hips in an effort to submerge himself deeper.

"Hon, you're keeping me out. I need you to open wider…please," Edward begged. He was unbelievably close and all the restraint he'd practiced since puberty was doing nothing to assist him in this moment.

"I'm trying," Bella said indistinctly, "but it really…it kind of hurts."

"Maybe if we try a different position?" Edward suggested. He'd read that missionary was the easiest position for a woman to lose her virginity in, but it didn't seem to be working for Bella. The distress she was feeling was clear on her face and Edward didn't want to be the only one to enjoy this momentous occasion.

"Yes, let's try that," Bella said quickly, willing to try anything to facilitate the process. She watched as Edward lifted her left leg over his shoulder and pushed her right leg up until it was perpendicular to her body. Edward took a moment to admire the view as he looked down to see her - pink, glistening and opened wide before him.

The position gave Edward leverage as he used his weight to hold Bella steady, making it impossible for her stiffen up and keep him from penetrating her.

"Uuuhhh," Edward murmured as he slid into her warmth. Suddenly there was a feeling of pins and needles and an overwhelming need to be touched all over his body. He thrust hard and then harder against the resistance he felt, as this, too, garnered him pleasure.

"Ah! Edward, please…" Bella's voice was barely heard through Edward's fog of ecstasy.

"You feel so good," he told her in response. "So…good."

He felt a slight give, and more of his penis was consumed by Bella's body. Innately, he began to move faster, firmly plunging into Bella. Fire radiated throughout his being and it became increasingly hard to maintain his cadence. An impulsive, effervescent sensation projected up the back of his thighs before shifting down his arms, to the base of his abdomen and then throughout his scrotum.

Before Edward knew it was happening, waves of euphoria coursed through him as he exploded in a forceful climax.

"Oh God!" he cried, collapsing atop Bella so that his panting breaths bathed her neck in heat. "Oh, God," he continued to repeat, over and over and over.

Finally, when his high subsided, and the sensitivity had waned, Edward moved off Bella; he noticed her wince as he pulled out.

"That was amazing," he gasped as he enunciated each word.

After a period of silence, Edward turned to Bella to see that she didn't look as enthusiastic as he was sure he did.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he put his arm around her torso.

"Yeah," Bella nodded quickly.

"Did you…finish?"

"Um…I think so."

Before Edward could ask her anything more, Bella got out of the bed and headed for the bathroom.

"Bella?" Edward called after her. "Are you sure you're alright?"

The click of the lock on the bathroom door was the only response he received.

Edward sat straight up.

Something was definitely wrong.

Quickly, he got out of bed and followed after Bella. He knew the door was locked but that didn't stop him from trying the knob anyway.

"Bella," he rapped softly on the door. "Honey, can you let me in?"

"I'll be out in a second," Bella replied softly. "I'm just…cleaning up a little bit."

_Cleaning up?_ Edward frowned at her choice of words before looking down at his own body to inspect himself.

There was evidence of blood streaked along his shaft and in the hair that framed his sack. Curiosity struck and Edward turned up the lights before going over to the bed and pulling back the sheets. On Bella's side of the bed, slightly concealed by her now rumpled up gown, was a thin smattering of blood.

Edward stood frozen, staring at the mark, while his brain calculated all of the things he needed to do. _Change the sheets. Wash off. Get dressed. Check on Bella. Wash sheets. _Quickly he went down the hall to the other bathroom and cleaned himself up before retreating to the bedroom to put on a fresh pair of underwear and remove the soiled sheets from the bed.

Once in the hallway, Edward realized that he didn't know where the bed linens were stored and he walked up and down the hallway opening and shutting cabinets and doors before he found three different sheet sets on a shelf in the laundry room. He made it back to the bedroom just as Bella was emerging from the bathroom with a bath towel wrapped around her. She took one look at the sheets in his hands and burst into tears.

Edward quickly tossed the sheet aside as if it was what was offending Bella, and raced to her side to comfort her.

"Honey, what is it?" he asked as he tried to pry her hands away to reveal her face. "Why are you crying?"

Bella shook her head and buried her face in Edward's neck when he wrapped his arms around her and enveloped her in an embrace.

"It wasn't what you expected?" He spoke into the top of her head as he rested his cheek against her soft, chocolate locks.

"No, I just…" she sighed, her words muffled against his clavicle. "I'm a mess. I _made_ a mess…" she gestured at the bed.

"But we knew that was going to happen. It wasn't a surprise," Edward told her.

"It's still embarrassing," she told him.

"Why are you embarrassed?" Edward maneuvered himself to look Bella in the eye. "Babe, I'm your husband. I'm honored that that happened. It means that you saved yourself for me. It's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you should be proud."

Bella scoffed at his words, but smiled weakly at him nonetheless. "I think I'm just overly tired," she excused herself. "I'm going to get ready for bed."

Edward finished changing the sheets while Bella returned to the bathroom to situate herself. When she came back to bed, Edward saw that she'd traded in her fancy nightgown for a sleep shirt, and a hint of her underwear peeked out from underneath. He was hoping for another go-round before the morning, but demeanor and dress hinted that she wasn't up for it.

"Goodnight, Mrs. Cullen," Edward said as he kissed her tenderly. She giggled and he was happy to see her spirits improving. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she replicated.

The sound of those words ushered Edward into a peaceful slumber. Fortunately, he fell asleep before he could hear the tears pelt down on Bella's side of the bed as she wept into her pillow.

**Sunday – 3:45 a.m.**

Bella lay wide awake, staring up at the ceiling as Edward slept soundly beside her. Guilt and shame cause sleep to evade her as her transgressions ran on a loop through her mind.

Married less than twenty-four hours and she'd already lied to her husband.

Twice.

It hadn't been her intention to be dishonest, but he was looking at her so earnestly, with those deep, green eyes – asking her if she'd derived as much pleasure from their lovemaking as he obviously had.

_"Did you finish?"_ he'd asked.

'I think so' had been her response. _I think so._

It was a blatant lie, one that Bella was sure Edward had seen through, but had been too polite to call her on.

His own orgasm had been quite obvious. His breathing…the grunts and moans…the tightness of his grip…the expression on his face.

Bella had had none of that, and she felt like the world's worst wife for not being able to respond to her husband in such an intimate and important way.

And so she had lied. When he asked her if she'd had an orgasm, she led him to believe that _something_ out of the ordinary had transpired that left her feeling transcendent and blissful, instead of despondent and sore.

Sore.

At the mere thought of the word, Bella felt the dull ache in her groin. It was a throbbing that haunted her each time she moved her legs, even slightly. Regardless of what she'd been told at her Quilting Bee, the ibuprofen she'd taken hours before did little to take the edge off.

And it wasn't just the vaginal opening that was tender. Bella ached deep into her pelvic cavity, as if Edward had attached a battering ram to the end of his penis to force this way through. It was no wonder that she was still bleeding from the force of it, and though she hadn't seen the damage to the sheets, she was not surprised at all to find that she had spilled onto them.

Which tied in to Bella's second lie: crying due to embarrassment of sullying the sheets.

How ludicrous!

Yet it was a far more acceptable explanation than the truth. Because there was no way that Bella was going to look into the eyes of the kindest, sweetest most loving man on the planet and tell him that she didn't enjoy sex - at all.

What were all those years of her parents guarding her virtue – shielding her from all things sexual as if it were an addictive drug that would consume her once she'd gotten a taste? _This? This_ was what they were worried about?

But what if it wasn't the sex? Perhaps there was something wrong with her. Many women at the Quilting Bee had discussed sex like it was second only to breathing. And Esme! Esme had made it sound like married women were inducted into some blessed club where their husbands pleasured them to soaring heights so frequently it was exhilaratingly exhausting.

Again Bella's eyes welled up with tears at the silent revelation of her thoughts. She mourned for all those days and nights when she'd dreamed of being with her husband; where she imagined that they'd lie together at night on sheets of splendor and make love well into the dawn of morning. Their bodies would fit together effortlessly and they'd move as one unit until the pleasure was so overwhelming that they'd climax simultaneously in one another's arms.

But it hadn't been like that. Not even close.

Edward's penis had seemed wider and longer than she'd remembered, and the fiery burn she felt as he stretched her was almost unbearable. On more than one occasion she'd contemplated asking him to stop, to give her a moment to get used to the sting, but each time she'd looked up at him and seen the sheer delight displayed there, it challenged her to bear the burden for Edward's sake.

And so she'd lied. And worse than the weight of the untruth was the knowledge that if - no, _when_ the situation occurred again, it was highly likely that she'd lie again.

It was under this condemnation that Bella finally fell into a restless sleep. Her plans of waking up before Edward to primp and prim were dashed to pieces when, hours later, she was awoken by the alarm on her Lady Comp birth control device, and Edward was, too.

"Are we in the clear?" he asked as he looked over Bella's shoulder and watched the machine chart her temperature.

A little green light indicated that they were, in fact, cleared to have sex if conception was not their goal, which it wasn't.

"Um…yeah," Bella wavered as she set the apparatus back on her night stand. Without looking back at Edward, she got out of bed and went into the bathroom where she readied herself for the day.

As she got undressed for her shower, she was relieved to see that the bleeding had basically subsided, though she still felt a tinge of pain each time she walked around or urinated.

The large bathroom filled with steam as the hot water ran in the background. Instead of let it wash over her, Bella stood outside of the shower, staring at her foggy reflection in the mirror. Behind her, her wedding dress hung on a hook, mocking her with its rue of perfection in matrimony.

"Bella?"

Edward's persistent knock at the door broke through her reveries and ended the strain of negative thoughts.

"Yes?" she answered.

"Can you let me in?"

"Uh," Bella looked over at the shower frantically. "I'll be out in just a minute!" She called as she hopped under the spray and saturated her hair with shampoo and water. She'd hoped that Edward wouldn't stand at the door and continue to hammer, but as she rinsed conditioner from her tresses, she heard him knock again.

"Didn't you hear me knocking?" he asked when she finally opened the door.

"Sorry. I was washing my hair," Bella said apologetically.

"Oh."

She watched as Edward's eyes washed over her body and tried to inspect every inch of her that wasn't covered by a bath towel.

"Are you all done?" he asked, somewhat disappointed. "I was hoping we could start our day by showering together."

"Oh…" Bella looked back at the water she'd left running. "I _am_ done. I was going to make you breakfast, but if you want me to get back in the shower with you…"

"No, that's okay. It'll just give me something to look forward to tomorrow morning," Edward winked. He leaned over and gave Bella a lingering kiss and she was sure that if she didn't get out of that bathroom quick it was going to turn into a physical encounter.

"Eggs, bacon or pancakes?" Bella asked, breaking the kiss.

"Yes," Edward smiled, indicating that he wanted all three.

"Coming right up!" Bella stated, nearly running out of the room. She was so fast that she was sure she'd dressed and was down in the kitchen before Edward had even had a chance to step into the shower.

Bella busied herself with getting acquainted with her new appliances as she worked away in the kitchen. The instant hot water spigot made making tea a breeze and the built in griddle on the stovetop cut the time of making pancakes in half.

Edward's breakfast was specially assembled on a plate long before he was ready to eat it. Bella continually toyed with the food placement as she waited, and then got to try out her food warmer when Edward still wasn't downstairs ten minutes later.

Curious as to what was keeping him, Bella tip-toed up the stairs to her bedroom. When she didn't hear the shower, she slowly peered into the doorway, uncertain as to what she was going to find. At that exact moment, Edward crossed the room from the bathroom. Since he had his back to her, he had no idea he was being watched – and watched he was, as he was completely naked.

Bella had never figured herself to be a person consumed with the human body, and she definitely didn't find the unclothed anatomy an immediate turn-on, like some people did. However, the sight of Edward's bare back, tight and rippling with understated muscles, narrowing into the natural curve of his backside…_oh my god_! He was flawless.

Bella gulped to combat her salivating. She blinked repetitively, as if the perfect specimen before her was a mirage instead of her own companion.

"Come on, I'm not _that_ pale."

Bella's eyes snapped up to see Edward grinning back at her through the mirror on their dresser.

"You look like you've just seen a ghost," he clarified as he slipped on his underwear.

"Oh…no. Sorry. I just came to see what was taking you so long," Bell stammered. "I didn't mean to…"

"Bella, you don't have to apologize," Edward told her as he walked over to stand in front of her. "If you want to look, you have every right to look." He pushed her damp hair away from her neck and clamped down on the flesh just above her shoulder. "I know I want to look," he whispered seductively.

"Edward," Bella shied away from him. "Your breakfast isn't going to be any good if you don't eat soon."

"Hey," he grabbed her arm and coerced her to face him. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" she asked innocently.

"I mean that you keep pulling away from me. Three times this morning I've tried to get close to you and you've pushed me away."

"I didn't push you away," Bella refuted.

"Well, not literally, but every chance you get, you're running away. Why?"

"I'm not. I just wanted to make you a nice breakfast and…"

"Bella." Edward's tone revealed that he didn't believe her in the least.

Bella sighed and looked down at her hands. _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry._

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Edward lifted her chin with his index finger and stared at her until she returned his gaze. "Tell me," he simply said.

Bella shook her head. "You'll be mad."

"I won't be. I promise."

When Bella failed to respond, Edward spoke again.

"Does it have something to do with sex?"

Bella nodded silently.

"Did I do something? Did I upset you?" Edward spoke in a rushed tone.

His obvious disconcertment at having possibly wronged her made Bella feel even worse for how she'd been feeling, and she had to struggle to keep her emotions at bay as she willed herself to answer honestly.

"No, Edward. You were great," she began. "I'm just _really_ sore…and I was hoping I could have a…break?" she squinted as she peeked up at him to see how he dealt with what she what she'd just said.

Edward let out a sigh of relief. "Is that all?" He hugged Bella and let out a shallow chuckle. "Babe, why didn't you just tell me?"

"I didn't want you to feel rejected, or whatever," Bella mumbled.

"Yes, because telling me you're sore is a lot worse than running away from me at every turn," Edward rolled his eyes.

Now that he'd said it out loud, Bella realized how foolish her logic had been. "I said I was sorry," she reminded him.

"Sweetheart, I want you to enjoy this, too," he motioned between them. "And if you're uncomfortable, all you have to do is say so. I'd never be angry over something like that."

"Okay," Bella accepted, immediately feeling better.

"So…" Edward rocked forward onto the balls of his feet. "I guess I should be getting dressed and after that, I think my wife made me a delicious breakfast."

"That she did," Bella smiled, playing along.

With the hurdle of trying to avoid sex out of the way, Bella was in a much better position to enjoy Edward's company, and that is exactly what she did. After breakfast was done, Edward humored Bella by suggesting they open a few of their wedding presents. She knew this wasn't really his idea of fun, but he'd seen the way she kept eyeing the foil-wrapped packages, and when he'd suggested delving into them, Bella's eyes had gleamed with delight.

"I just keep thinking there's going to be something in here that we'll need," she explained her impatience to open the gifts.

"Yes, but open presents mean thank-you cards. Now we'll have to keep track of who sent what," Edward responded.

"I promise, you won't have to deal with one single thank you card. I'll do them all," Bella told him.

"Really?"

"Really."

Internally, she was happy at the opportunity to return a compromise to Edward, as he had compromised for her. But as they sorted through wads of wrapping paper to discover picture frames, towels, pans and his and her monogrammed bathrobes, Bella knew she couldn't pretend that Edward's only compromise was taking the time to sift through wedding presents.

What he'd really wanted was her, as evidenced by the swelling she'd witnessed in his underwear when they'd been up in their bedroom earlier. So willing he'd been to grant her reprieve and to deny himself; it was definitely one of his more attractive attributes.

And as she looked at him from across the room, perched on the floor in a pair of tan cotton pants and a navy blue t-shirt, his bare feet spread out before him as he concentrated on putting together a decorative rack, it was easily the most attractive she'd ever found him.

**Tuesday – 6:19 a. m.**

Edward stared at the watch on his bedside table. Even though he couldn't read the time from where he lay on his side of the bed, it still served its purpose of signifying the passage of time.

It was his third day as a married man and he'd still only had sex one time.

One time!

From everything he'd heard about the isolation period, he thought for certain that he and Bella would have spent days and hours in bed at the beginning of their time together. He'd envisioned them walking around the house in nothing but what God had given them, touching, looking, kissing and discovering every inch of one another's bodies.

In the diagram of sexual positions in his Book of Betrothal, Edward had cataloged several different variations that he wanted to try. He'd also hoped Bella would've been open to baring her body to him and just letting him look and probe and taste. However, she'd already told him her stance on oral sex, so he was pretty confident that that wouldn't be happening any time soon – if ever.

But now both sex and touching seemed to be a bit of a stretch, as Bella appeared to be physically traumatized from their first sexual encounter.

Edward let out a blustery sigh and shut his eyes tight, willing himself to go back to sleep. However, the deprivation was getting to him, and lying in bed beside Bella, whose sleep shirt was perpetually around her waist as she slept, revealing her snug-fitting underwear and hinting at what lie underneath.

Slowly, Edward turned to look at Bella, knowing that he'd see a peace that resided on her face during her sleep hadn't been present the last few days. She did seem better after she'd asserted her need for a bout of celibacy, but there still seemed to be something just beneath her features every time she caught Edward staring at her.

Call him a glutton for punishment, but Edward still wanted to hold his woman against his body, even if she wouldn't grant him much more than that.

He reached his hand across the sheets, expecting the warmth of her skin, only to be met with the icy, stiff cotton of an abandoned space.

Swiftly, Edward sat up to get a better look. When he was able to verify that Bella wasn't in bed, his eyes were drawn to the bathroom in an assumption that she was using the facilities, but that room was dark with disuse.

Edward was out of bed and halfway down the hallway before he had a hint of Bella's whereabouts. Though there was no sound, there was the familiar glow of a television viewed in a darkened room, and when Edward appeared in the doorway of the den, he found Bella locked into one of the many cooking shows he'd seen his mother watch on occasion.

"Did I wake you?" Bella started when she saw Edward enter the room.

"Yes. Your silence was deafening," Edward joked. "What are you doing in here?"

"I wasn't tired," Bella shrugged.

Edward noticed that a fire was burning in the fireplace, signaling that Bella had been out of bed for awhile.

"You started a fire?" Edward asked incredulously.

Bella smirked. "I guess I am good for something after all, aren't I?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Edward asked as he took a seat next to Bella and put his arm around her. He knew she would try to act like she didn't mean what she'd just said, but he wondered if she thought that was how he viewed her.

"I'm just kidding," Bella deflected as suspected. "I'm just a country girl. Of course I can start a fire."

"You know I don't think that, right? That you're not good for anything? Because it couldn't be further from the truth."

"Edward, I was kidding."

"Okay. Well, I'm just making sure that you know I'm aware of how lost I'd be without you."

"Don't be silly," Bella said, but Edward noticed her body language as she settled back against the couch and leaned into him. She was completely at ease.

After a few minutes, Bella was engrossed in the cooking show and Edward was trying his hardest not to watch her instead of the screen. He was sure his leering would be obvious and make her nervous. After all, he'd told her that he would give her time to heal and he didn't want her to think he was going back on that promise.

"My mother really rubbed off on you, didn't she?" Edward said, regarding Bella's choice of program.

"These shows are _really_ good, Edward," Bella pointed at the screen. "Plus I don't feel so guilty about watching television if I'm actually learning something. I think I'm going to try to make those sticky buns. They look delicious."

"I'm positive your buns will be great." Edward winked. "You have great buns."

"Edward," Bella rolled her eyes at his innuendo.

"What? I like your buns. Sue me."

Bella's giggle ignited Edward's playful mood and he reached out a finger and tickled her midriff. When she went to return the act, Edward attempted to put her off by telling her he wasn't ticklish.

"You already tried that on me once, remember?" she said, not falling for his bluff.

They looked like two frolicking teenagers as they battled about the sofa before tumbling to the floor, each trying to get the upper hand.

Finally, with rapid breathing and shrieks of laughter, Bella had no choice but to surrender when Edward had pinned her against the carpet in front of the fireplace, ordering her to request his mercy.

As they bantered playfully back and forth with one another, Edward thought he saw the hint of something else in Bella's eyes. Something beckoning…inviting…

Testing the waters, Edward leaned down and kissed Bella chastely on the mouth. When she lifted her chin, requesting more of his lips, he readily granted her wish.

Seconds later, they were making out like they did in the latter days of their betrothal, testing time and their limits before customs bid them apart.

Only this time there were no rules to fear breaking and no disapproving parents to venture in. This time, when Edward's hand slipped up Bella's shirt, he didn't need to attempt to discreetly conceal what he was doing underneath the fabric. He didn't need the pretense of caressing her breast before opening his mouth to lick at her pebbled tip, straining the sensitive flesh through his teeth. He didn't need to hide the arousal her presence brought to him and he didn't need to shy away from the hand that was shifting up his leg, toward his crotch…

"Bella," Edward exhaled, his voice raspy with desire. "I really hope I'm not misunderstanding you right now."

"You're not." Her voice was solid with unwavering assurance.

"Are you sure? You're not sore?" The last thing Edward wanted was to get all worked up only to be shot down at his moment of greatest need.

"I'm alright," she said.

Edward didn't wait for further elaboration. He stretched his body lengthwise to lie alongside Bella, and when she was completely naked, he bathed her body in the attention he'd been aching to give it for the past two days.

Her touches between his legs were soft and timid, but Edward didn't mind. It gave him the time he needed to prepare her fully, to ensure that this time she only felt pleasure and no pain.

"Is this okay?" he asked as he ran two fingers up and down the length of her slit.

"Mmhmm," she moaned quietly.

Encouraged, Edward intensified his pace of firm, languid strokes against her clit and watched through a lusty haze as his wife's body began to shiver and tremble.

"Does that feel good?" his lips were right by her ear and he punctuated his question with a nip on her lobe.

Instead of verbalize her contentment, Bella dragged her fingers forcefully through Edward's hair, emboldened by the gratification his fingers were bringing her. She led his mouth to hers and pleaded for his caress with silent wanting.

Nearly undone at the reaction he'd caused in Bella, Edward moved atop her, every inch of his manhood yearning to be sheathed inside her. He pressed into her with a calculated caution, and when she didn't deny him, he reached beneath her thighs and slightly pulled upward to grant himself better access.

"Uuhhh," Edward grunted at the sensual tugging the slight adjustment provided him. He opened his eyes and watched as Bella tightened her grip on his forearms, bracing herself against the force of his thrusting hips.

In a string of incoherent prattle, Edward both praised and cursed the moment his body met its capacity for physical gratification and overflowed into Bella, leaving him spent and inert.

He wanted to recite her poetic, lyrical prose to communicate the way her body made him feel; the way _she_ made him feel as they shared one another so intimately. But though his thoughts were genuine, his words were few and ineffective at expressing the overwhelming love he felt at that moment.

So there they lay in each other's arms, wrapped in quiet and the warmth of the fire that was no match for the heat they'd just generated.

**Thursday 1:56 p.m. **

Bella knew that her husband was a happy, happy man. They'd spent the course of the last two days mostly in bed, making love whenever the mood struck them. The soreness had died down to a dull ache, and mainly only lasted a few moments after Edward entered her.

Though Bella was elated to be enjoying the aspects of physical love much more and immensely joyous to be satisfying her husband in this way, she couldn't help her disappointment at not being able to climax as Edward did during intercourse. Of course, Edward was an attentive and generous lover and therefore he always made sure that she "finished", but it was always by his hand, outside of the act of sex.

While she was concerned that it was always going to be this way, Edward didn't behave like it was anything out of the ordinary. He never questioned her about her lack of coital orgasm and rarely initiated sex until after he'd fingered her to her pinnacle.

Still, she couldn't help wondering if it would feel different if he were inside of her when it happened, but she didn't bother voicing her inquiry to Edward. For one, he'd have no way of answering the question of how it would feel to her, and two, she didn't want him to think her experience was lacking because of something he was doing. Even though she didn't quite know why everything happened the way it did, she was pretty certain the blame didn't lie with Edward and she didn't want him to think it did.

"Penny for your thoughts," Edward offered as he rolled over on his side to face her. They'd recently returned to their bedroom after sharing a lunch of butternut squash soup and warm sourdough bread.

"I was just thinking that I can't believe tomorrow is Friday already," Bella said. It wasn't an untrue statement. She _had_ been thinking about that as they were finishing up lunch. "The week is flying by."

"I know," Edward agreed. "I'm not ready to give this up. I like having you all to myself." He shifted down so their eyes were level. "Is there anything you wanted to do this week that we haven't done?"

Bella considered her answer for a moment. There were many things they hadn't done, but nothing she felt a huge urgency for. For example, they still hadn't unwrapped all of their wedding gifts, and because meals had been provided, she hadn't really gotten to cook a romantic dinner for Edward.

"Not really," she said. "What about you?"

"A few things," Edward said softly.

"Really?" Bella sat up to seriously take in what he had to say.

"Well, we still haven't taken a shower together," he grinned up at her.

_Oh. That's the kind of "anything" he was talking about._

"Well there's plenty of time for that," Bella told him.

"And…hmm…what else was on my list?" Edward lay back with his hands behind his head.

"You had a list?"

"Well, you know…before we were allowed to…you know…certain things would happen and I'd tell myself that after we were married I was going to explore that further."

"Such as?" Bella asked eagerly, enthralled by what he might say.

"Well," Edward measured his words. "Remember when you said you watched a porno?"

"I was fourteen, Edward," Bella reminded him in case he wanted to school her on her transgression.

"No, I know," Edward nodded. "But you also said you watched one with my sister-in-law…_our_ sister-in-law."

"I didn't _know_ I was going to be watching a porno. They just sprung it on me!"

"I'm not judging you, Bella. Heck, I've seen pornos, too."

"Really? Recently?"

"Don't change the subject. I was asking _you_ a question."

Bella pulled the sheet up over her body as if to deflect the sting of whatever he might ask her. "What's your question?"

"I just wondered if there was anything you saw that you might want to try that we haven't done yet."

Images of fellatio flooded her mind, as did the memory of the thick, salty liquid that Rosalie had given her to "prepare" Bella for the taste of the action's consequence. She shuddered at the thought of it.

"No. Not really," she responded.

"Nothing?"

His persistence was a clue that he, most likely, had an answer to his own question.

"Why?" Bella took the bait. "Was there something you wanted to try?"

"Not anything I've seen in a movie or anything. Just a couple of things I'd hoped we…might do."

Aside from the oral activities, which Bella wasn't the least bit interested in, she couldn't think of anything they hadn't tried. _Was there anything else_?

"Like what?" she asked.

Edward's eyes roved the length of Bella's body before he answered. "Well for one thing, you've worn way too many clothes everyday this week. You have a beautiful body and most of the time I have to use my imagination because of all the layers you have on."

Bella looked down at the cotton eyelet gown she was wearing – a gift from Alice. It was feminine and light and extremely comfortable. Apparently the bit of flesh visible through the lace-like weave wasn't enough for Edward.

"But I've been practically naked the entire time."

"Practically. But not completely," Edward said as he reached up and slipped one of Bella's straps off her shoulder.

"Well you haven't been naked either," she reminded him. She didn't want to be the only one running around sans clothing.

Before she could say another word, Edward pulled off his shirt and went to work on the sleep pants he'd been wearing.

"Edward!" Bella gasped when her husband was sitting beside her in his birthday suit. She noticed that he'd already grown firm with lust.

"What?" Edward shrugged with innocence. "And you still have too many clothes on."

Bella's face blazed under the knowledge of his expectation but when she caught the way he was looking at her: the longing anticipation, the appreciation, the passion…

Slowly Bella peeled her gown the rest of the way from her body and tossed it on the floor. Her first inclination was to burrow under the sheets, but Edward took a firm hold of the top sheet to prevent her from covering her body.

"I want to see you," he whispered.

Starting from the top of Bella's head, Edward smoothed her hair back, exposing her neck to his fingertips. He traced the line of her artery down her neck and then skipped to her chest, between her breasts, before moving both hands to tenderly knead her supple mounds. He rolled her nipples gently between his thumb and forefinger, all the while watching her expression to see how he was affecting her. His gaze was an intense one, and Bella couldn't hold it. But each time she looked away, she'd be drawn to reconnect with him moments later. His look said he wanted her, and she loved being wanted by him.

"Your skin is like velvet," he crooned as he positioned himself to kneel in front of her. His hands left her breasts, danced briefly at her stomach before cascading over her thighs and parting her legs.

At first, he was really soothing and careful. He unobtrusively followed the natural lines of her hips and the crevices of her inner thighs. He strummed against the soft curly down, separating it to expose what was underneath.

Bella shivered, but it was unknown as to whether it was from the cold metal of Edward's wedding ring as it brushed against her skin or from the resolute focus pointed between her legs as he boldly held her open.

His touches soon began to match his new confidence as he pulled back her inner folds and stroked the wet, torrid flesh hiding below.

Bella gasped a sharp inhale when his finger titillated her swollen bud. Edward removed his hand momentarily to tease other areas, only to return to the sensitive nub once again.

It was more than a little embarrassing to have Edward watching her so closely when her body began to rock under the orgasm he brought on. But his expression was not marked with criticism, only wonder and awe, as he watched her climb to the highest high before she stilled his hand in marked exhaustion.

"That was _hot_," Edward emphasized as he rubbed Bella's back while she tried to reclaim her regular breathing pattern.

Invigorated by the rush of pleasure, Bella rolled over and put her arm around Edward's waist, loving the skin-to-skin contact. As she drew him in, her forearm came into contact with his penis and the dew of his arousal that had gathered at the tip.

"Can you feel it when that happens?" she asked. She swiped at the fluid and held her finger up to Edward as evidence of what she was speaking of.

He shook his head that he could not.

Feeling free to peruse his body as he had examined hers, Bella leaned over him for a better look.

"When it gets hard, in your pants, does it hurt?" she asked as she ran one finger up the side of the silky rod.

"Sometimes," Edward answered quietly, completely taken by what she was doing. "Not usually. Most of the time it's just uncomfortable."

Bella nodded her understanding of his answer and moved down to his testicles. She reached down and cupped them in one hand before running her thumb over the definition of each ovular shape.

"How do you like to be touched?" she asked suddenly.

"This is fine," Edward told her.

"Really? This feels good?"

"Everything you do feels good."

Bella raised an eyebrow at Edward and ran the edge of her nail up the seam on the underside of his shaft, from the base to the tip. Edward let out a low hissing sound that indicated that he liked that as well.

She wrapped her hand around his circumference and began to pump up and down. It was an action she was familiar with, but she'd never done it with the sole purpose of simply watching and seeing Edward's reaction.

"You can use two hands," Edward hinted.

"I can?" Bella frowned and tilted her head to the side to gauge how, exactly, she'd do what Edward was asking of her.

Suddenly Edward sat up and placed his hand lightly over the hand that was enclosed around his girth before leading Bella's free hand to mimic the position of the other. Slowly he began to shift her hands upward and downward, instructing her on how to touch him. When she'd established a rhythm of her own, Edward let go and leaned back to watch.

As she held him in her fisted hands, Bella peeked at Edward through her lashes when she heard his breathing become shallow.

"I'm close," he said, his eyes narrowing at the warning.

But Bella differentiated nothing about what she was doing. When Edward began to grunt and moan, she squeezed him harder. When he jutted out his jaw and flared his nostrils at the intensity of what he was feeling, she moved faster. And when he called out her name…

"Bel-la," right before his essence spurted and spilled, cascading over her fingers and knuckles, she didn't stop until she'd drained him of the last drop.

Steadily, with her eyes fixed on the definitions of Edward's abdomen, Bella collected a drop of semen on her fingertip and brought it toward her mouth. Seconds before her tongue dashed out to taste it, her eyes flickered to Edward's.

"Aahh, ffffuuuhhh," he expelled through clenched teeth when Bella's lips closed around her finger and sucked it clean.

It had been something she'd seen in that pornographic movie of Rosalie's, and up until that moment, Bella had had no idea that she'd wanted to try a taste. But when she got the opportunity to witness Edward so vulnerable and free, it enticed her and awoke within her feelings that she didn't even know she possessed. It made her feel daring. It made her feel sexy. It made her feel worthy of the way her husband looked at her.

**Sunday 7:24 a.m.**

"I don't think this is ever going to get old," Edward said as he held Bella's warm skin against his own.

"Mmm," she agreed as she snuggled up to him.

"Let's never leave," Edward said of their third shared shower in as many days. They were always so hesitant to let the experience end that the two times before had resulted in the water running cold long before they were ready to get out.

"Edward, our parents have been waiting a week to see us. Do you really think they're going to let us get away with missing church? They'll send out a search party," Bella laughed.

They had reached the end of their Isolation Period and were now preparing for church, where they'd meet up with their family and friends for the first time since their wedding. Edward knew that Bella was looking forward to stepping out as husband and wife, and while he, too, was excited to parade his wife around, he couldn't help yearning for one more day. One more day of not having to be anywhere, not having to answer to anyone and not being distracted from loving on the most beautiful woman in his world.

"Ten more minutes," Edward begged. He accessorized his plea with a deep, searing kiss.

"That's what you said ten minutes ago," Bella said after fully partaking of the kiss.

Edward sighed in defeat. He knew Bella was right and that they'd have to face the real world, and all the reality that came with that, sooner rather than later.

As if reiterating his thought, the hot water downgraded to warm, and noticing that Bella hadn't yet washed the conditioner out of her hair, Edward reluctantly stepped out of the shower and allowed her to finish getting ready for the morning.

After unenthusiastically patting himself dry with his towel, Edward took a seat on the bed and looked around at the space that had very quickly come to feel like home - warm, comfortable and inviting. In just one day's time, he'd be back at work and Bella would be here.

Alone.

Normally, Edward didn't mind work. He enjoyed the challenge and the mental exercise he got from problem solving and interacting with different people. Yet, suddenly none of that sounded appealing at all. In fact, it kind of amazed Edward that he had barely even thought about work in the week he'd been off. Sure, he knew that Gladys had detailed instructions on what to do if something went wrong, and he knew his father would have called him if Gladys had alerted him of an emergency, but it was still unlike Edward to be able to mentally check out. He liked the comfort that being at work brought him; a semblance of control and order.

But after the seven days he'd just spent with Bella inside their isolated cocoon, all he wanted was another seven days.

He wasn't ready to go back.

"Penny for your thoughts," Bella said as she came to stand before him, using the same phrase on him that he'd used days earlier.

He looked up, took one look at her, wrapped in a bath sheet, dripping and wet, and pulled her down to straddle his lap. He rested his head against her bare shoulder and basked in her closeness for comfort.

"Honey, are you okay?" she asked. He could hear the concern in her voice.

"I'm just realizing how much I'm going to miss you next week," he summed up.

"I know," Bella said as she ran her fingers through Edward's damp hair. "I was thinking about that, too. It's going to be lonely in this big house without you."

They sat that way in silence for a long while before Edward acknowledged, "We're going to be late."

"Yeah, we'd better get movin'," Bella agreed.

Yet they both continued to sit there without budging.

Finally, Edward lifted his head, but only to kiss Bella on the cheek.

"I love you," he told her.

"I love you, too." And she reciprocated with a kiss to his lips.

He nuzzled the tip of his nose against her neck and exhaled, breathing his warmth against her skin.

"You know, the separation is just going to make things that much better when you come home to me at the end of your day," Bella told him.

Edward smiled slightly at the way she was trying to console him.

"You're the sweetest woman I've ever met," he told her. He marked his words by kissing her shoulder, her neck, her ear, her mouth. As he lavished her with kisses, his hands grasped her hips and pulled her closer.

The touches and caresses were not intended to be erotic or passion-inducing, but the feel of Bella's skin underneath his fingertips and the smell of her skin in his nostrils and her pert breasts right at his eyelevel…

Bella gasped as Edward's hot, wet tongue darted from his lips and licked her nipple. She repeated her sounds of appreciation when he raked his teeth against the flesh before taking it into his mouth.

Instinctually, Bella began to move her hips rhythmically and with each upward swing, stoked the fire of Edward's loins. The fine hair his arms stood to attention as Bella's fingers started to crawl over his biceps, over his shoulders and down his back.

In the back of his mind, Edward was mindful of the clock and the obligation to meet their family that loomed in the near future. But as his lips curved around Bella and his tongue lapped, and tickled and tasted, she began to move faster and firmer, effectively distracting him for any and all commitments.

He reached between his legs to reposition himself out of the line of fire, and in doing so came into direct contact with Bella's clit. She mewled in favor of his movements as he slid against her. Her hands came to the sides of his face and she lifted his lips to her kiss. Passionately they locked onto each other, sharing one breath until Edward began to feel the beginning of the end. Over and over again Bella rocked into him, and he could thoroughly feel it.

So _hot_. So _wet_. So _ready_.

He touched himself again, but this time, he moved into the source of the heat.

"Ooohhh," Bella wailed as he entered her.

Her vocal outbursts and erogenous expressions were as stimulating as her hands when they roved all over his body.

Edward set his hands on Bella's hips to guide her while setting his eyes on her face to watch her.

Then, suddenly there was a shift in her movements. They became choppy and erratic and more pronounced. Just as Edward began to notice this, he felt a strong compressing sensation against his penis.

"Oh, Edward!" her outcall was equidistance between a command and a question as she pumped up and down. "Oh!"

Edward watched as Bella tossed her head back and her long hair flailed across her shoulders. Her mouth was agape to free the air that she failed to expel and her eyes were shut tight at the onslaught of every nerve ending in her body coming awake.

"Mmm, yeah," Edward echoed her, unable to restrain from expressing his own euphoria. Bella's orgasm felt so good that it was all he could do not to swear at the sight of it.

"Oh, Edward. Oh, Edward…Edward…oh! Oh! Mmm…Uh…uh…oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!" she cried.

Her fingers tightened their grip on his hair and her legs stiffened as she rode out her last wave. She let out a groin-shattering caterwaul when Edward pumped her hips against him in a succession of deep thrusts as he joined her on the other side of orgasmic serenity.

He held her tightly as she buckled against his chest and fought to catch her breath.

"Is that-," she stammered. "Is that what it's always like for you?" she gasped.

"Pretty much," Edward replied with a smile.

"Oh my God! No wonder you want to do it all the time." Bella's chuckle came out as a series of raspy chortles.

If his breathing caliber didn't match hers, Edward would have found her post-coital state more than amusing.

"I _love_ this position," she told him, wiggling her hips to indicate her prowess.

"I have a whole page of positions I think you should try out before you settle on this one," Edward's eyes brightened at the reference to the chapter that only existed in his betrothal book.

"That's so unfair that you had pictures," Bella told him.

"I'll show them to you any time you want," Edward offered graciously.

"I want," Bella whispered as she kissed the tip of his nose.

"'Course…it might take me another week to do that…"

Bella nodded sourly, initially misunderstanding the meaning of his words. But then she looked up at him and caught the gleam in his eye.

"Can you do that?" she asked him excitedly.

"I have it in pretty good with my boss," Edward joked. "I'm sure he'll be amenable."

And an hour later, after a quick detour downstairs for a certain betrothal book, Bella and Edward returned to bed with no apologies whatsoever.

**Sunday – 9:14 a.m. **

Esme pulled on her husband's left hand so that she had access to see his watch. It was the third time she'd made such a movement while glancing anxiously behind her at the entrance of the church.

"Something wrong?" Carlisle leaned over and whispered into his wife's ear.

"Where are Edward and Bella?"

Carlisle raised his eyebrow mockingly at his wife.

"What?" she asked in irritation.

"He was a twenty-five-year-old virgin, dear. Where do you _think_ he is?"

Esme was aghast at both the insinuation and the comment. "So you don't think he's coming?"

Carlisle coughed to conceal the laughter that so desperately wanted to escape. When Esme realized her unintentional pun, she playfully swatted her husband and turned away lest they become any more of a distraction in the Sanctuary.

But on the inside, she was laughing, too.


	32. Chapter 31 Misunderstanding Female Mind

**Part I: Misunderstanding the Female Mind. **_Often, one of the very first mistakes the new Cannabean husband makes is that he will continue to treat his wife as one he is courting instead of one he is matrimonially bound to. They often fail to quickly adjust to the fact that the woman who, only days before, was the responsibility of her father, is now the responsibility of her husband._

_

* * *

_

Unfortunately for Bella and Edward, their extended Isolation Period didn't last as long as they'd hoped. Two days later, Edward checked in at work to find that Gladys had neglected to tell him about a very important conference call with China that he'd missed. Fortunately, the head of the company he was trying to procure had taken the day off because his wife had gone into labor unexpectedly.

"You don't keep China waiting," Edward had explained to Bella when she misunderstood why he was so upset about missing the conference call. "With the American economy flat lining the way that it is, it's more important than ever to maintain good international relations."

But that statement had unintentionally caused Bella to worry and she was anxious that Edward's business was in trouble.

"Honey, everything's fine," Edward had promised, "but even if it wasn't, I told you that I would take care of you, and I will. You don't have to worry about money."

Edward could tell that it was taking a little bit of effort on Bella's part – the not worrying. She struggled not to ask for assurance after each phone call, text message or email. But then, just as Edward saw that she was beginning to relax and really trust that the issue with China had been no big deal, Carlisle came to Edward's office to pay him a visit and deliver some very unsettling news on the same day that the issue of China posed another problem as well.

"Well, hello there, stranger," Carlisle greeted his son with a smile as he entered the office and shut the door. "I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to see the light of day again."

Edward rolled his eyes playfully, but he couldn't help the crimson tint that began to spread over his neck and ears at his father's ribbing.

"I called you at home and Bella said you were back at the office," Carlisle said as he took a seat.

Edward realized that his father was aware that he and Bella had been attempting to remain undisturbed for an additional week, and therefore something of importance must have caused him to encroach upon that.

"Is everything alright?" Edward asked cautiously. Even though he'd dodged a bullet with the missed call with China, Edward didn't think he could stomach anymore bad news.

"It's about the Swan's," Carlisle admitted gravely.

"Charlie and Renee?" Edward sat forward in his chair. "What's the matter?"

Carlisle held his hand up in indication that he would momentarily answer Edward after he first completed what he wanted to say.

"The Swans held us under the strictest confidence the past few weeks. They didn't want to upset Bella before her wedding," Carlisle excused his secrecy. "But things aren't looking good."

"What do you mean? Is someone sick? Charlie? Renee?" Edward frantically questioned.

"No, nothing like that," Carlisle spoke quickly. "It's financial."

Edward frowned as if he couldn't fathom it.

"The post office has been consolidating routes instead of renewing the carriers' contracts. Charlie's route got cut in half. Money was tight for months, but now it's almost nonexistent," Carlisle explained. "They can't do it anymore. They can't stay."

"What does that even mean? They're moving? Where?"

But Edward's questions were merely a stall tactic. He knew that it meant that Bella's parents were moving away; most likely back to where they came from.

And he would be left with a very unhappy, very depressed, forlorn new bride.

"When are they going back to Montana?" Edward asked when his father had confirmed what he already knew.

Carlisle shrugged. "Charlie didn't say. He just said that's how it has to be. In his defense, he tried everything he could but there is very little work around here."

"Well what about at the vineyard? Isn't there anything he can do there?"

"I don't doubt that there is, but it wouldn't be anything that didn't look like a direct handout. The vineyard is seasonal, and if we brought him on now, it'd be obvious that that's what we were doing."

"So?" Edward balked. "Dad, Charlie is one of the proudest men I've ever met, and if he even told you about this situation in the first place, it's because he's wants you to help."

"Well, I thought that, too, but every time I offered to help him in some way, he refused. The only thing they'd take from us was food, and even then your mother had to disguise it as if they were helping us by doing so."

"They don't have money for food?" Edward was aghast. "Bella's going to flip out!"

Carlisle nodded. "Which is a large part of the reason I'm here," Carlisle fidgeted with this fingers as he spoke. "Charlie is really afraid of how she'll react to being left behind. He doesn't want to do that to either of you and he feels really bad about it. When the two of you talk this over, you'll really need to encourage her that her father did what he thought was best."

Edward sighed and rubbed his hands over his face before peeking up at his father. The two men were seated across from one another at Edward's desk, and their eyes communicated the same harsh reality that life brings with it.

"Bella is going to be devastated," Edward said softly.

"These are the types of things that strengthen us and build character. She might surprise you," Carlisle spouted. The earnest desire that he had for his words to be true was evident on his face.

"Do you think he'll take money from me?" Edward asked. But again, he didn't need to hear his father's answer.

"No. He already said that he wouldn't. He wouldn't take it from me, either." Carlisle cleared his throat. "He didn't say, but I think he's afraid it'll look like he married his daughter off to the highest bidder and then thrust his money troubles upon him."

"Everybody knows Charlie isn't like that," Edward insisted.

"Yes, well, you know what the Good Book says: 'pride goeth before the…"

"Dad, there's no one you can call?" Edward stopped him. He knew how the old proverb read and didn't want to think about it coming to fruition. "Nobody's hiring for side jobs or anything? Can we contact their landlord and offer to pay a portion of the rent and ask them to tell Charlie that they lowered it?"

"That'd be dishonest," Carlisle frowned. "But also, half of nothing is still nothing, and that's all that Charlie can afford to pay."

"I have to do something," Edward decided. "There's no way I can tell my wife that her parents are moving halfway across the country without doing everything I can to stop it."

And that is exactly what Edward told Charlie.

He made no pretenses of an ulterior motive when he drove straight to the Swan's home after work and asked to speak to Charlie.

"Sorry for the intrusion," Edward began.

"No intrusion among family," Charlie stated as he gestured for Edward to sit in the easy chair beside him. When it had looked like Edward had come to discuss business, Renee had taken to the other side of the house to busy herself with the folding and putting away of laundry.

"I'm here because-"

"I know why you're here, Edward," Charlie cut him off. "And as far as I'm concerned, all we have to discuss is how we're going to tell Bella."

"Well hold on a minute," Edward positioned himself for a debate. "Can't we see if there's anything we can do?"

"I did, and there isn't," Charlie stated. "As it is, we should have made this move months ago, but there was no way I was going to do that to my baby girl."

"Well, sir, Cannabean law states that in the event that-"

"I know what Cannabean law says," Charlie stopped him cold. "And there's no way I'm going to burden my new son-in-law when he's just starting out on his own."

"But you _are_ burdening me, Charlie," Edward dropped the formalities in his anguish. "To just up and leave like this, without giving Bella a chance to adjust…"

"I know that, Edward. But it was the lesser of two evils. Either I could have left before the wedding and made her go through most of that transition with no family beside her, or I could've waited until after she was situated." The edge lifted from Charlie's voice. "You think this is easy for me? Because it's not."

"Then let me help you."

"Help me tell Bella."

"Just give me a year."

"What's a year going to do?"

"Six months then."

"Time doesn't solve anything. Besides, my lease here is up end of next month."

"You're leaving before Christmas?"

Charlie shrugged, but only because he didn't want to say the words out loud.

"I have an idea. Will you hear it?" Edward asked. He knew Charlie was as willful as they came and if he'd set his mind to something, it was difficult to make him change it.

"It was always my plan to build a second house on my property; in-law quarters-"

"Edward," Charlie used a warning tone as if he didn't believe Edward's words.

"I have the plans at my house. You can see for yourself. They're dated the same as the final blueprints for my house," Edward supported. "The only reason I didn't start it was because I knew there was no way to finish that and the house before the wedding and I didn't want to prolong things, but I've already bought all the material, Charlie. I strongly believe in my responsibility to be able to step up in the event that anything happens with my family," Edward paused. "And you're family."

"I wouldn't feel comfortable with that," Charlie admitted.

"It wouldn't have to be permanent. It could be, if you wanted that, but it doesn't have to be. Maybe just until you get on your feet?"

"And how long is that going to take?" Charlie's level of frustration escalated. "There's no industry here, and I don't see that changing. If I do find something, it's going to take me so far away from home that there'll be no use in taking it."

"But if you take me up on the house, the money that you make at the post office will cover the rest of your living expenses."

"Barely," Charlie muttered.

"Charlie, I can't pretend that this arrangement wouldn't benefit me as well," Edward admitted. "There's something going on at work that I'm not really at liberty to talk about right now, at least until I talk to Bella. But if things go the way I suspect, I'm really going to need you and Renee to be here to support her."

Charlie leveled a hard glare at Edward, as if he were trying to read his mind. "What are you saying, Edward?"

"I'm saying…no, I'm asking if you'll at least consider my offer. I'm going to build the house anyway, whether you stay or not, so you might as well live in it."

"Even if I did agree to your arrangement, and I'm not sure that I do, but even if I did, it takes time to build a house. What would I do in the meantime?"

Edward shrugged as if it were a no-brainer. "Stay with my parents."

Charlie's face scrunched up as if he'd swallowed something bitter, but that did not matter to Edward because there was no way in the world that he was offering up his house- the house he shared with his wife, Charlie's daughter, with whom he had sex with unabashedly.

"I might entertain the idea of what you're saying when you tell me whatever it is you're hiding from your wife," Charlie said.

"I'm not hiding anything," Edward said defensively. "I just haven't had the chance to talk to her about it yet."

However, a small seed of guilt was planted at Charlie's uttering, and that seed sprouted just a little when Edward walked through the front door of his home and saw the worried look on Bella's face.

"Is everything okay?" she asked as she hastened toward him. "I called you at the office and on your cell phone, but I didn't get you."

Edward glanced at the clock and saw that he was arriving roughly two hours after he said he'd be home.

"Everything's fine. I just had to make a pit-stop on my way," Edward tried to make light of things.

"Oh?" Bella asked, not quite convinced that all was well.

"Yeah. Can we sit down? I need to talk to you about something," Edward asked.

If Bella looked worried before, she looked positively anxiety-ridden at that point. "Is something wrong? Did something bad happen?"

But Edward said nothing as he sat down across from her and tried to think of the best way to state the bad news that he had to tell her.

"My dad came by my office today," Edward said.

"He did?" Bella leaned forward as if she were trying to propel the entire story out of Edward's mouth. "He called here this morning looking for you, but he didn't say he was going to your office."

"Yeah," Edward nodded. Internally, he was battling with how he'd tell Bella that her parents had run out of money and were now considering moving back to Montana…strongly considering.

"Edward, you're really scaring me," Bella said, her hands twisting anxiously in her lap.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," Edward moved to sit beside her. "I'm just…not really good with bad news."

"Bad news?" Bella exhaled in one breath.

Edward nodded. "I went to see your father today."

"My father?" Bella looked completely baffled.

"Yes. Apparently my parents have been keeping a secret for your parents," Edward looked into Bella's fearful eyes. "Your dad's route at the post office has been cut in half and his requests to get additional routes have all been denied."

"Okay," Bella enunciated slowly, waiting for him to get to the news.

"And since he can't find additional work, money's kind of tight. And he won't take money from me," Edward quickly added.

"Edward, what are you saying?"

"Your parents are planning to move back to Montana… soon."

Edward watched as Bella stared at the floor, her mind working to take in all of what Edward had just said.

"Bella?" Edward hedged. "It's going to be okay. I was just over at your parents' house and I told your dad about the granny unit we planned to build. I offered it to him as soon as it was done."

"But we haven't even started on that, yet," Bella said.

"I know. But I'm sure my parents will have no problem having Charlie and Renee stay with them until the unit is complete."

"My father was okay with this?" Bella looked skeptical. "Because this doesn't sound like any kind of deal he'd accept. He prides himself on being self-sufficient and if moving back to Montana means he'll be able to do that, then that's exactly what he'll do."

"Well, he's thinking about it," Edward hemmed. "I uh…I kind of have something else to talk to you about."

Bella leaned against the back of the couch to brace herself for what more Edward had to say.

"It's not that bad," he held up his hands quickly when he saw her body language. "The part about your parents was far worse."

Bella seemed to relax a bit – a very little bit. "What is it?"

"Well…if your mom and dad agree…they wouldn't have to stay with my parents the _entire_ time the house was being built." Edward sneaked a peek at Bella before looking away quickly. "I was thinking they might stay here for a few weeks."

"With us?"

"Well…with you." Suddenly Edward didn't feel that his news was as unimportant as he'd tried to convince himself that it was. "I found out this morning that I'm going to have to go to China sometime next month."

It was quiet enough to hear time pass in the vast living room, warm only from the fire that Bella had lit in the cobblestone fireplace.

"You're leaving?" Bella asked faintly. Her voice shook slightly as she spoke.

If Edward hadn't known any better, he'd have thought Bella was more upset about his trip to China than the fact that her parents were moving away, possibly forever.

"It's just a business trip, Bella. It's not a big deal and I'll only be gone a few weeks."

"A _few_ weeks?" Bella echoed. "Is that closer to two or three?"

"It's about twenty days," Edward admitted softly.

"Twenty days?" Bella stood up abruptly. "Edward, that's almost a month!"

"I know. Which is why I thought it was the perfect solution to have your parents stay here during that time. Your dad can help oversee the construction while I'm gone and you can have that time to be with your parents. It's a win-win situation."

"A win-win situation would be if I didn't have to be halfway across the world from my husband for almost a month," Bella told him with watery eyes.

Edward pulled her against him and kissed the top of her head. "I know, honey. Trust me, if there was another way, I'd take it. The last thing I want is to be separated from you, but if I have any hope of getting on that plane with an iota of peace, it'll be because I know the only people on this planet who love you as much as I do will be by your side."

Bella's body felt lifeless when all of her weight shifted against Edward, and he thought that she'd given in to the inevitable and had accepted what she knew to be the only true outcome.

But when her body began to heave and shake under her sobs, Edward realized that the enormity of what she was facing must have finally hit her. After all, he'd just told her that her parents were moving away, and all he could offer her was twenty days alone with them to say goodbye.

So, later, when Bella hardly touched the meal she'd prepared for their dinner, Edward was sure that she was already feeling the loss of her parents. And when she quietly went to bed an hour earlier than usual, without waiting for him to accompany her, he was certain that she was at the beginning of an unfriendly bout of depression.

After going through a few of his emails that he hadn't gotten to earlier in the day, and phoning his father to follow up on their earlier conversation, Edward, too, ascended the stairs to the bedroom. When he walked through the doorway, he caught Bella right before she closed her eyes and turned her back to him.

By the time he emerged from the shower, her fluttering eyelids hinted at the fact that she was still awake.

"Sweetheart, do you want to talk about it some more?" Edward asked as he lightly rubbed her back. "I knew you would be upset. That's why I had such a hard time telling you."

Something resembling a guffaw escaped Bella before she sniffed and told Edward that she was exhausted and didn't want to talk.

"I understand," he told her before lightly kissing her on the shoulder and turning on his side to sleep...

… and when he woke up the next morning, he found a freshly brewed pot of coffee, his lunch and a bagel, already prepared, sitting on the counter. However, Bella was back in bed, a signal that she didn't care to speak to him that morning either.

Without much anguish, Edward decided that he'd call home later in the morning to check on her and positioned his mind to focus won work until that time.

However, that time never came. He was so busy that he barely had a few minutes to prescribe his travel instructions to his secretary before Charlie called him and kept him tied up for a good while.

"You're going to China for _how_ long?" Charlie asked when Edward had finally let him in on the news.

"A few weeks," Edward used the same terminology that he'd used on Bella.

"Edward, before you got married, you told me that you were working overtime so that you wouldn't have to take these trips once you and Bella were married. It hasn't even been a month and you're already jet-setting across the globe," Charlie accused crossly.

"I knew you were going to say that," Edward accepted. "And trust me, if there was anything else I could do, I would. But Bella understands that sometimes things come up. And I really think she's looking forward to having the time with you and Renee."

"I haven't decided to stay, Edward," Charlie reminded him in his no-nonsense tone. "I prefer to have a little bit more time to make my decisions, and all this has happened a little fast for me."

"But what are you going back to in Montana that you don't already have here?" Edward asked, insinuating at Charlie's bond to friends and family.

"History," Charlie answered without missing a beat. "I've fallen on hard times before in Montana and I know I can make it there. I don't know that here."

"But you should," Edward urged. "Because your family is here, too, Charlie, and we all pull together in times of hardship."

Charlie was silent for awhile. "Renee really wants to stay, which is saying something, considering her entire life has been in Montana." Just then, there was a definitive sound of skin hitting something hard, like a hand slapping a table. "Tell you what I'm going to do, Edward. You said that you were gonna build that there granny unit whether we moved in or not, right?"

"Right."

"Well…then we'll plan to stay put until you come back from overseas, but after that, no promises. I appreciate what you're trying to do for Bella, Edward, I do. But Renee is _my_ number one priority, and if it looks like I'm not able to provide for her…well then that's what I have to strive to do. I hope you can understand that."

"I do understand. But when I told Bella about your moving away, she got really upset…she even stopped talking. So, since she's _my_ number one priority, I'm going to do all that I can to try and keep her happy."

Charlie laughed slightly at having his words tossed back in his face. "She quit talking, did she?" he asked. "That doesn't sound like Bella."

_Really? _Because Edward thought it sounded _exactly_ like Bella. Whenever she'd gotten upset in the past, she'd withdrawn into herself and stop speaking. At least that's what she'd done when she was upset with Edward…

Nonetheless, Edward was at least happy to have some good news to offer Bella when he got home from work late that afternoon.

"So, your dad is going to stay…for now," Edward chimed as he stood behind Bella while she started preparing dinner. "At least until I get back from China. Maybe longer."

"Oh," she said quietly.

Edward was surprised that her tone sounded flat. She didn't seem as excited as he thought she would be.

"Oh?" he repeated. "That's all?"

Bella turned her head in his direction briefly but said nothing else.

Edward came up behind Bella and put his hands on her hips. He was disappointed at the way he had to steer her body to lean into his, instead of her doing it voluntarily.

"Sweetheart, I know you're upset, and I understand, I do. But it isn't fair for you to take this out on me. And quite frankly, I don't think you should worry. I'm sure things will start to turn around for your father within that time and he won't leave at all."

"You're probably right," Bella agreed with a slight smile.

Edward lowered his lips to her cheek before backing away. "I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower," he offered. He patted his pockets as he walked. "Do you remember if I laid my phone down?"

"I didn't see you with it," Bella stated with distracted attention.

"Hmm…I think I left it at work," Edward called over his shoulder as he walked toward the staircase. He was just about out of hearing range when he heard Bella's faint mutter:

"Leaving things behind seems to be your new trend."

Edward stopped in his tracks and turned to face Bella; to see that he'd misunderstood her pronouncement, as it made absolutely no sense.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

Bella, obviously unaware that Edward was once again standing behind her, dropped the metal mixing bowl she'd been holding into the sink.

"W-what?" she asked, startled.

"What you just said. What did you mean by that?"

"What'd I just say?" Bella asked. Her eyes mimicked the terrified orbs of a night-blinded deer in head-on traffic.

Edward simply raised an eyebrow as he stared her down – a silent statement that she wasn't going to question her way out of this one.

"I didn't mean anything by it," she finally expressed as she turned to face the sink.

"Then why'd you say it?" Edward asked. "You obviously meant _something._"

When Bella didn't respond, Edward walked over and turned her around to face him. "Are you mad at me for some reason?" he asked.

Bella shrugged away from him. "Why would you think that?"

"Well I didn't," Edward told her. "I thought you were upset about your parents, but you're not talking to _me_ and last night you went to bed without me…"

"I had a stomachache," Bella interjected, her code word for 'that-time-of-the-month'.

"Well now you're mumbling things behind my back. What's your explanation for that?"

Suddenly Bella looked up at him, her rigid body poised for a disagreement…but just as quickly, the sails of her vigor deflated. She balled up a kitchen towel and tossed it in the sink before hanging her head and leaning against the counter.

"I'm not mad," she whispered. "Just a little, okay, _a lot_…hurt."

"Hurt?" Edward was confused.

"And a little shocked."

"Bella, your parents really tried everything they could –"

"Edward…the issue with my parents comes as no surprise to me," Bella revealed. "I saw the signs before the wedding. I just thought they were penny-pinching to pay for things, so I pitched in whenever I could. I cut lots of corners on cost, I let your mother pay for things that she and I both knew my parents should have covered, and I bought groceries whenever I could get away with it, which wasn't often.

"My mother was an emotional wreck – which she blamed on the wedding," Bella continued, "but then I started to overhear odd conversations about cut routes and breached contracts and residency status if they needed public assistance. By that time I was able to put two and two together. I didn't know how long they'd stay here, but I guessed it wouldn't be long."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Edward asked.

"Mostly because my father hadn't confirmed anything, and partly because I know how much my father hates other people knowing his business…and partly because a little part of me hoped that it would all work out fine on its own," Bella confessed.

"Bella, we could have-"

She put her hand on his chest to stop his lecture before it got started. "But this isn't about my parents, Edward," Bella spoke loud enough to be heard. "Yes, it's scary to think that they're moving away, and yes, I'm grateful that they're willing to live on our property, but Edward, how can you think for one minute that I'd rather be here with them, than with you?"

Edward had heard the words, but he didn't understand their meaning. All this time he'd thought Bella was mourning the possibility of losing her parents, and she'd been upset about…_what_ exactly?

"What?" he asked.

"For twenty-four years, two months and three days, I was in the company of my parents, Edward. I was their baby, their daughter; their only child, and the longest I'd ever been away from them was when I stayed with your family after your mother's surgery. So I get why you'd think their moving away would be so hard on me. But I'm not a little girl anymore, Edward," she raised her eyes to his. "I pledged my life to _you_, Edward; to be by _your_ side. And I'm wholeheartedly ready to begin this chapter of my life," she gestured between the two of them with one finger, "our chapter."

"So am I," Edward told her as if it didn't even bear stating.

"Then why are you so readily leaving me behind without any consideration of taking me with you?"

If there was one thing Edward prided himself on, it was thinking outside of the box when it came to problem solving. His parents had praised him for it growing up, as had every single one of his teachers, including his college professors. So when the issue of a necessary trip to China had come up, Edward had immediately kicked into planning and problem-solving mode. He'd planned to make sure the cars were serviced so Bella wouldn't have any issues with them while he was gone. He planned to make sure the video camera was working on the computer so they could visually communicate while they were apart. He planned to make sure Bella had access to enough money to finish furnishing and decorating the house as she saw fit and he planned, or hoped, rather, that Charlie and Renee would come through and keep Bella company while he was away.

And yet, not once had it even crossed Edward's mind to take Bella with him on his business trip.

_And why hadn't it?_ He, too, had pledged his life to her, and was eagerly enjoying the endeavor of marriage. The last thing he wanted was to be away from his wife so soon after newly getting married, and for three entire weeks!

"I've got to be the stupidest man on the planet right about now," Edward shook his head as he looked upon Bella with apologetic eyes. "I'm so used to doing these things alone that I didn't even think…I'm _so_ sorry. Of course I want you with me."

"Really?" Bella's countenance brightened for the first time in days.

Edward wrapped his arms around Bella's waist and drew her in to him. "If I wasn't so freaked out about not thinking of asking you in the first place, I'd be really embarrassed."

"You shouldn't be embarrassed."

"Bella, I'm supposed to think of us as a unit and instead, I'm busy making sure someone is watching you while I go away, like you're a house pet instead of my wife."

"I just want to be with you, Edward. And when it seemed like it was going to be so easy for you to leave me for so long…"

"It wouldn't have been easy," Edward interrupted. "Trust me, the minute all of this business with your parents settled down, I would have been wracking my brains with how I could cut the trip in half. But now…it looks like we've got ourselves a nice little international vacation to plan."

Bella's smile was blinding. "And I know just the people we can ask to housesit," she hinted of her parents.

But if Edward thought he was embarrassed when Bella mentioned his neglect at considering her as a travel mate, he was even more humiliated when he called to inform Charlie of the change of plans and Charlie admitted to having been perplexed as to why Bella wasn't going with Edward as well.

Edward sighed. "Sometimes I'm a little slow, but by the grace of God, I usually find my way."

* * *

_Poor Edward. Understanding the mind of a woman is nearly impossible for any man, as is understanding the mind of a man for a woman. Will Bella do any better understanding her man? Find out in Part II: Decoding the Desires of a Man._


	33. Chapter 32 Decoding the Desires of a Man

**Part II: Decoding the Desires of a Man. **_To say that men and women are different in how they express themselves is an understatement. However, it is a lesson that has to be learned whenever a man and a woman come together in marriage. And for women, whose statements and actions are more tied to their feelings than men, it is important to decipher more than just words when dealing with her new husband._

_

* * *

_

Bella was in the mirror brushing her hair when Edward walked into the bathroom behind her and returned his towel to the towel rack. She watched as he nonchalantly glanced inside the small garbage can near the door before gently rubbing the small of her back and kissing her on the cheek. She smiled to herself, knowing his inspection had something to do with the fact that she'd discarded a tampon wrapper there days before.

"I'll have Gladys get our plane tickets for San Francisco on Thursday. We can stay the night in the city and fly back on Friday," Edward stated casually. "We should be able to have our visas by then."

Bella was shocked and excited about the prospect of going to a foreign country, and of flying to California, even if it was only for the night. Fortunately for Bella, her father had read that passport-holders required fewer forms of identification to verify citizenship, and therefore she had had one, albeit with no travel stamps, since she was fifteen years old.

Good providence was also upon her in that Edward seemed to have contacts in very high places and his friend, Chin, was assisting them in getting their visa applications rushed through for same-day service. It all sounded rather complicated to Bella, but Edward had assured her it was not a big deal.

One thing she did consider a big deal was the rather daunting list of immunizations she needed to get before traveling to China. Edward only needed a few shots and had stopped by an urgent care clinic one afternoon after work. Bella, however, needed an entire physical and a complete panel of shots. Since Edward had only recently added her to his medical insurance, a required waiting period rendered her appointment at the end of the month.

"My arm is stiff," Edward complained about the location of the few shots he'd received.

Bella inspected his forearm for swelling and redness and saw none. "Should you call the doctor?" she asked. "Or your dad?"

"Nah," Edward shook his head. "He told me it'd be sore for a few days. It's no big deal. Shots don't usually have much of an effect on me."

Yet, three hours later, Edward called Bella from work to alert her that he was coming home early. He felt so dizzy and nauseous that he couldn't concentrate well enough to finish out the workday.

Bella immediately went into caretaker mode: fluffing up pillows and turning down the blankets on the bed, making soup, laying out a clean t-shirt and pajama bottoms and placing a box of tissues on the bedside table.

Her excitement at her first occurrence of nursing her ill husband quickly fizzled, however, when Edward revealed himself to be an unwilling patient. The pillows and blankets she offered him were too scratchy or too firm, the water was too cold or too warm and the chicken soup she'd prepared just for him was not prepared to his liking.

"What's in it?" he asked, seemingly not that interested in eating.

"It's chicken soup," Bella restated.

"Did you put celery and carrots in it?"

Bella nodded.

"I don't like celery or carrots in my chicken soup," Edward said. "My mom makes it flavorful without adding those vegetables. Maybe you can get her recipe."

Bella looked down at the bowl that held the offensive soup. "Well I can strain out the celery and carrots," she offered.

Edward turned up his nose at the idea. "Little bits of it will still get through," he refused. "No thanks."

"But you haven't even tried it. How do you know you won't like it?" Bella asked, her feelings obviously hurt.

Instead of argue his point further, Edward simply turned over and closed his eyes as a wave of nausea overcame him. "What did you wash these sheets with?" he grumped.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked, not yet recovered from the rebuff of her soup.

"It smells like perfume," he said. "It bothers my sinuses. I need the plain kind that doesn't have an odor."

"It's the same kind I've been using. It hasn't bothered you before," Bella told him.

"I like Tide Free. It's the kind my mom uses and it's what I'm used to."

"Edward, that costs three times more. It doesn't make sense to spend that kind of money on laundry detergent."

"Even if it's what I like and it doesn't make me sick?" Edward lifted his head off the pillow and glared in Bella's direction.

She glared right back until Edward covered his mouth suddenly and fled to the bathroom. She heard him heaving unproductively and immediately felt sorry for him.

Quietly she stood in the doorway of the bathroom until it seemed his spastic retching had subsided. Slowly she rubbed his back in gentle, even strokes.

"Do you think you have the flu or something?" Bella asked.

"It's just the shots," he murmured from where he knelt on the floor.

Bella didn't bother to question or second guess his reasoning at his diagnosis. Instead, she continued to tend to him best she could, or as well as he would allow her to, and tried not to take too personally his protests at how she did many things differently than what he was used to. But as the days wore on, it became more and more challenging to turn a deaf ear to his many complaints and longings for the ways of his mother.

Finally, by the week's end, Edward began to show signs of improvement and was in good spirits when he joined Bella it the kitchen for breakfast on Saturday morning. For the first time since he'd taken ill, he turned his attention away from himself and focused on his wife.

"You look really tired," he told her.

Bella focused her eyes on a faraway tree outside the kitchen window and bit her tongue in an attempt to refrain from spewing her disgruntlement with his words.

Edward noticed the expression.

"It might have something to do with your overgrown baby of a husband whining for you to be at his beck and call, huh?" he asked with a smile.

Bella glanced over her shoulder at him. "Yeah. It might." She didn't, however, return his smile. "But I guess things will be easier next time, now that I've realized that all I have to do is do things exactly the way your mother did them and then you'll be satisfied."

Edward chuckled softly as he left his seat at the kitchen table and went to stand beside his wife. "Was I that bad?"

"Yes," Bella said humorlessly.

Edward brushed a few strands of hair away from Bella's ear before leaning down to kiss and nibble at her ear lobe. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Bella rolled her eyes and bit back the smile that so desperately wanted to display itself. She could never stay upset with Edward when he was being so sweet and apologetic.

"You know what you need?" Edward asked suddenly, rearing back to watch Bella's expression as he spoke. "You need a day off. Everything you do around here, it's just as tiring as any day at the office. You should have a day off just like I do."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"Wouldn't you like a day where you didn't have to cook or clean or shop or…"

"We have to eat, Edward." Bella smiled at the gesture. But practical knowledge wouldn't allow her to give in to the notion. A day without work around the house meant another day with twice as much to get done.

"Sunday," Edward snapped his fingers and pointed at Bella. "We usually only eat bagels or muffins before church anyway and then we go to my parents' for lunch. We could have something light or cold for dinner – sandwiches or something. I can make sandwiches," Edward offered. "Whadd'ya think?"

"So, no cooking or cleaning on Sunday?" Bella repeated, allowing the notion to grow on her.

"Yeah. You could just take a day to do what you wanted…well…I guess that's not really true since we have church…"

"I could do things after church," Bella inserted, suddenly loving the idea. "Before the evening service at your parents' house."

"That's enough for you?" Edward asked, wanting to be fair.

Bella nodded. In truth, she didn't mind cleaning her own home or cooking for Edward, but it was a nice notion to know she had the freedom to simply sit down with a good book or take a walk without thought of what else needed to be done. And since she wanted to do some intense preparations for their trip to China, it would be nice to use that time for a sole purpose.

But Edward had been right in his assessment of Bella's energy level. She _was_ tired. And since Edward was also still not feeling 100-percent, after a light meal of Caesar salad, they went to bed early and slept soundly until the morning.

On Sunday Edward was well enough to attend church and so Bella took her usual seat in the long row of Cullens, and spoke quietly to her mother, who was seated in front of her, while Edward complained to his father about the reaction he'd had from his most recent immunizations.

"That's not typical," Carlisle was heard to respond. "Maybe you had an allergic reaction."

Bella half listened as Edward disputed his father's suggestion and focused more on what her mother was saying about Bella and Edward's upcoming trip to China.

"It's too bad you're traveling so close to the holidays. Airline tickets are outrageous right now," Renee said. "I don't think you can get a reasonable fare until sometime in February."

"Really?" Bella hadn't known. "But I don't think Edward has a choice. He has to go soon."

"Right, right. That's what you said," Renee said, a warm smile suddenly overtaking her face. "Aren't you excited?"

Bella nodded eagerly. She really was. Going to a foreign country had been a dream that she never thought would come true – and getting to have the experience with Edward made it all that much better.

As if sensing that she'd been thinking about him in that moment, Edward looked over at Bella and gave her that crooked smile that caused her to shiver to the very depths of her soul.

The sermon was an uneventful one and Bella and Edward ducked out of the church rather speedily at its conclusion. Bella didn't want to squander a second of her "day off" and she assumed Edward was interested in getting home to rest a spell before they were expected at his parents' home.

As soon as they were home, Edward went upstairs to the bedroom and Bella made a beeline for Edward's home office where the computer was kept. She'd barely had time to bring up the Internet and type the word 'China' into the search engine query box before Edward was thrumming his fingertips against the doorjamb.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Just looking up a few things," Bella said as she clicked a link on Chinese customs. She was just about to delve into an article on manners and etiquette when she felt Edward's piercing gaze upon her. She looked over at him just has his eyes slid from her chest to her face.

"H-how long are you gonna be?" he asked when he realized she'd caught him looking.

Bella shrugged. "I wasn't thinking of a time limit," she said as she glanced at the clock. "We have to leave for lunch in about an hour or so."

"Oh…well…I was thinking…"

"I think I can really get used to this day off thing," Bella looked over the monitor at him. "It'll give me all the time I need to prepare for China."

"You can do that any time," Edward protested.

"Yes, but I won't. There's always something else that needs to get done. Now, I know I can plan to have a time to research things on the Internet or read a book on the subject."

Bella watched as Edward's glanced down dejectedly at the floor before he made a move to leave the room. "Well, I guess I'll go lie down for a bit before we go…"

"You're tired?" Bella asked him.

"Not really," Edward sighed. "But you're in here doing this…so…I might as well."

"Oh, you need the computer?" Bella asked.

"No," Edward seemed one twitch away from rolling his eyes. "I need y-"

The old-fashioned phone on Edward's desk began ringing insistently. Since it was the house phone, and not an office line, Bella didn't hesitate to pick it up.

"Bella, are you busy after lunch today?"

It was Rosalie calling, and she sounded completely out of breath.

"Not really," Bella decided against disclosing her plans to read and prepare for China. Rosalie sounded like she was in great need.

"Emmett and Jasper are going to some coach meeting for a soccer team or something and Leah isn't feeling well. The kids have 4-H projects due tomorrow and I haven't had a chance to help them…" she paused to sigh. "Can you help? Alice is helping Esme with the refreshments for tonight's service and Emmett can't cancel his meeting…"

"Sure. I'll help," Bella agreed. "Did you just want me to drive over after lunch?"

"That would be great," Rosalie sounded relieved.

Bella reveled in the good feeling she got from being able to help Rosalie out, but that good feeling wilted when she looked over at her husband and saw the discontent on his face.

"What?" she asked.

"What was that all about?" Edward pointed at the phone.

"Rosalie needed some help with the kids later, and I told her I would come over," Bella said, frowning at the look of irritation on Edward's face.

"I thought you were going to read and stuff," Edward waved loosely at the computer.

"I can do that later," Bella shrugged. When Edward shook his head and let out a dismayed pshaw, she added, "What is your problem?"

"Nothing," Edward spat out.

"This day off thing was _your_ idea, Edward," Bella reminded him. "You said I could do anything I wanted."

"Within reason," Edward hastened to state.

"So going to visit my sister-in-law and help with the kids is unreasonable?"

"No."

"Then why are you upset?"

"I'm not upset," Edward said as he attempted to recalibrate his attitude. "So are we driving separate cars to my parents' house or what?"

Bella raised her eyebrows in consideration as she stared at Edward. She'd almost overlooked that detail. "That's a good idea," she told him.

And so Bella drove herself over to her in-laws, and after lunch she followed Rosalie home to help her with a variety of projects.

"Pardon our mess," Rosalie said as she stepped over a pile of toys when she entered the house. "I wasn't feeling well this week and Emmett just let the kids run wild."

"Why didn't you call me?" Bella asked, looking at the disaster area around her. She'd never known Rosalie to keep such a messy house.

"Well, for one, you haven't even been married two months. I'd think you'd rather spend your time with your husband than over here in this zoo. I feel guilty as it is asking you to be over here right now," Rosalie smiled at Bella. "And for two, Edward was sick. He needed you."

"Yeah, he said it was the shots he needed for China that made him sick, but I'm not so sure. I think he had the flu or something because I've started feeling not so well myself. I feel fine today, though," Bella added quickly, lest Rosalie think Bella was trying to infect her family.

Before Rosalie could tell Bella exactly what she needed her to do, a small altercation broke out between her children and she was off to deal with that before feeding the baby. Bella jumped in immediately and began cleaning up the front room and the kitchen. She then made a game of having her nieces and nephew put their toys away and clean up their rooms. This worked on the girls, but Elijah could not be bribed with kind words and adulations.

"I like your car, Aunt Bella," he said, still getting used to her new title. He had perched himself by the front window and was looking out onto the driveway instead of putting his jacket and boots away as Bella had asked him. "Is it fast?"

"Very fast," Bella said, igniting his senses.

Elijah's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and he clasped his hands together and begged to be taken for a ride.

"_If_ you can get all your things picked up, and clean your room, I'll drive you over to your grandparents' tonight," Bella bargained.

Elijah readily agreed, and that was all Bella needed to get him out of her hair while she helped Emma bake oat bread using oats she'd cultivated herself, with the help of her parents. Once that project was done, Bella helped Elijah finish a diorama on tractor safety.

And then Abigail began vomiting all over the place.

While Rosalie tended to that, Bella kept Leah happy and content by changing her diaper and bouncing her about on one hip.

By the time evening set and she was to leave for the evening service at Carlisle and Esme's, Bella was exhausted.

"I don't know how you do this every day," Bella told Rosalie as she handed Leah over.

"Emmett usually helps and when nobody is sick or has projects to do, it's not too overwhelming," Rosalie said. "But when everything piles up, I feel like I'm going crazy. I told Emmett I needed a vacation. I wish I was going to China with you. You're so lucky."

"You should ask Emmett to take you, someday," Bella suggested.

Rosalie laughed out loud. "Emmett would never go to China. Alaska, maybe, but not China. Anyway, I couldn't leave my children for that long."

"Oh. Right," Bella agreed.

"Travel was something I kept putting on the back burner, thinking there'd always be a better time. But then I met Emmett and then Emma came and then Elijah…next thing I knew, I had four kids," Rosalie sighed wistfully. "It's smart that you and Edward are doing all this stuff early on and before kids. I'm not saying it would be impossible to travel with children, but it wouldn't be any fun, that's for sure!"

In her next breath Rosalie told Bella that she wouldn't be attending that night's Cannabean service since Abigail was sick and Emmett had gone straight to his parents' house instead of coming home. That made perfect sense to Bella and she was on her way out the door when a forlorn looking Elijah came and stood in her path.

"You said I could ride in your car," he reminded her with his arms folded across his chest.

"Well, honey, that was before your sister got sick. Your mom isn't going tonight so you're going to stay home," Bella told him.

"But you promised," Elijah said. "And I cleaned my room and everything because you said I could ride in your car if I did."

"Elijah, there will be other opportunities to ride in Aunt Bella's car. It's not going to work out tonight," Rosalie interjected.

Bella was disturbed by the magnitude of disappointment that colored her nephew's features.

"Emmett is going to be there, right?" Bella asked Rosalie without taking her eyes off Elijah.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, I can take him and Emmett can bring him home?"

"Sure, sounds good to me."

It was a plan of good intentions, but it wasn't a sound plan. Rosalie had forgotten that her in-laws were having their basement painted the following day and Emmett and Jasper had promised to remain behind to move everything out of the painter's way. It was too late when Bella recited her plan to Emmett, to come up with any other solution besides her carting Elijah back home. Edward, who wasn't even consulted about helping move furniture because he had to be at work hours before everyone else, was incensed by the news that he'd have to be without his wife one minute more.

"You've been gone all day," Edward complained when Bella told him she'd meet him at home.

"Four hours, Edward. It hasn't been all day," Bella told him stiffly. She didn't understand why he was being so difficult. Surely he wasn't making a big deal over the fact that she was returning their young relative home.

"Whatever," Edward dismissed airily. "I have to get home. I have an early meeting in the morning."

"I'll be home in less than twenty minutes," Bella told him.

But in the time between getting Elijah situated in the car and taking a stretch of road much faster than she should have to appease Elijah's love of speed, Edward had managed to call Rosalie with a message for Bella, whose phone was buried too deep in her purse to be heard. His tone had alerted Rosalie to the fact that something was up and Rosalie immediately assumed that she'd caused a problem between the newlyweds.

"Is he mad at me for asking you to come over?" Rosalie asked after she'd shooed Elijah into the house to get ready for bed. She and Bella then stepped into the foyer to talk, as it was much too cold to do so on the porch.

"No," Bella shook her head. "Why would you ask that?"

"He sounded really upset on the phone. He told me to tell you that your phone is off and that the doctor's office called to confirm your appointment for next Thursday. He said he'd probably be asleep when you got home and he couldn't tell you because he's barely seen you all day," Rosalie recited.

Bella sighed. "I guess…we had a little argument, but for the life of me I couldn't tell you what about," Bella admitted. "He came up with this idea of giving me a day off, but I think we have different ideas of what that actually means."

"A day off?" Rosalie tried hard not to smile.

"Yeah. He said since he gets a day off from work it's only fair that I get one too."

"One?"

"Well, that's all I really can stand. I mean, realistically if I went any longer without doing things around the house, I'd never catch up."

Rosalie shifted her head from side to side as if she was weighing the validity of Bella's words. Surmising that she was probably correct, she shrugged and asked, "But now he's mad because you didn't cook for him today or something?"

"I have no idea," Bella confided. "He was a little grumpy earlier today, but when I called him on it, he kept telling me nothing was wrong."

"Maybe he wanted you to spend the day with him."

"He told me I could do anything I wanted to. I was going to spend the time reading and getting ready for China, but then I decided to come over here. I don't know why it's such a big deal to him."

"He was a little distant and quiet at lunch today, but I just figured he was tired from a little afternoon quickie," Rosalie chuckled lightly as she playfully swatted Bella on the arm.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Day off. Remember?"

"You get a day off from _sex_?" Rosalie whispered the last word.

Based on Rosalie's reaction, Bella was now not so sure. "Well…he said…you don't think he meant that?"

"Why would he?" Rosalie looked perplexed. "Men seem to believe that we want it as much and as often as they do. If he's telling you that you need a break from him…well…he's one of a kind."

Before Bella could think of a rebuttal to offer up, Rosalie spoke again.

"I guess one day won't hurt him, but if he's anything like his brother, after three days or so, he'll get mighty cranky."

Bella looked down at the toes of her shoes as she recalled Edward's demeanor from earlier in the day.

"So how would Emmett be after…ten days?" Bella winced as she asked.

"Ten days?" Rosalie nearly yelled. "Ten days? Really, Bella?"

"Well…" Bella stalled suddenly feeling very guilty. "I had my period and even though it was shorter and lighter than usual, I still held off for the week like everyone said I should. Anyway, then Edward got sick and then it was my day off…oh darn." She looked up at Rosalie with imploring eyes. "Is he mad at me?"

"Honey, if he hasn't had sex in ten days after finally getting some, he's mad at the universe and God himself." Rosalie moved closer to Bella and lowered her voice so that her children wouldn't overhear. "And I know you think it's gross and all, but for the love of all that is mighty, save yourself the heartache and give that man a blowjob."

Bella inhaled sharply. "Ugh…I can't. I'll vomit."

"No you won't," Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Just don't swallow anything until you're used to it, but you'll get used to it pretty quickly," and then with a look of mischief she added, "Trust me, Bella. Blowjobs are a married woman's best friend. It's quick. It's easy and no temper can stand against it."

Bella felt no more convinced at Rosalie's words than she'd been the first time she'd heard them prior to marrying Edward. But when Bella walked into her house and found Edward standing in the middle of the foyer with a look of disdainful irritation on his face, she felt a slight stirring at the need for a secret weapon.

"You said you'd be home in twenty minutes. That was almost an hour ago," Edward said like a parent scolding a tardy child.

"I was just going to let Elijah out at the door, but you called and Rosalie felt that she needed to give me a message, so she waved me inside. You're still up. Why couldn't you have just told me when I got home?"

"I wasn't planning on staying up, but with the way the day has been going-"

"What do you mean by that?" Bella cut him off.

"I haven't seen you all day and you weren't answering your cell, which is a huge problem for me, by the way."

"Sorry about that. I didn't hear it ring." Bella removed her jacket and hung it in the hall closet. When she faced Edward again she swallowed her uncertainty and asked one of the questions that had formulated in her mind as she drove home. "Edward, when you said I could have a day off, what exactly did you have in mind?"

"I told you: cooking and cleaning and stuff around the house," Edward said.

"And?" Bella pressed.

"And anything you didn't want to do," Edward sighed, not understanding what Bella was trying to get him to say.

"What about things I _did_ want to do?"

"That's fine, Bella," Edward backed down and started for the staircase. "I need to get to bed. I have to be up in five hours."

Bella retreated to the kitchen where she loaded the few dishes there into the dishwasher before wiping down the counters.

A bunch of bananas in a nearby fruit bowl caught Bella's attention and she stood there staring at them, remembering a time when they served more for her than their intended purpose. Her memory also held the taste of the foul liquid Rosalie had given her that afternoon to "prepare" her and she hoped that her sister-in-law's tactics had been overkill and not at all close to the real thing.

Overhead, she heard the sound of Edward's footfalls as he moved from the master bathroom to the bed, and as she started up the stairs, she glanced at the large clock on the mantle as if time would be of any concern to Edward. According to Rosalie, it wouldn't be; although it was a concern for Bella. Suddenly she was so tired that she didn't even trust her legs to carry her the rest of the way up the stairs.

With a light tread, Bella entered her bedroom and headed for a quick shower; the entire while trying to summon up the courage to initiate sex with Edward. Making the first move was something she'd never done or needed to do, but Bella was also very aware that Edward was upset with the choice she'd made to spend the afternoon away from home and that in all likelihood he could reject her before he even knew what she was offering him.

The contrast of the cold air against Bella's water-warmed skin caused her to shiver as she stepped out of the bathroom, naked, into the dark bedroom. Slowly she walked the familiar path to her bed and quickly burrowed under the covers. She lay still, listening to the sound of Edward's breathing. After a month and a half of marriage she was educated enough to know that he was still awake. With one silent, cleansing breath, Bella prepared herself to roll over, kiss Edward on his bare shoulder, and then snake her arms around his torso, peppering him all the while with slow, soft kisses as she made her way toward her final destination.

But Edward spoke then, and stilled her momentum.

"I guess I just had to come to terms with the fact that you wanted a day off from _me_," his voice parted the darkness. "One of the things I most look forward to on Saturday is having the entire day to spend with you. I guess I just assumed you felt the same way. And since we kind of got jipped of time together because I was sick and then you were on your…monthly thing…anyway, I shouldn't have assumed. Sorry I was rude earlier."

Bella was immediately inundated with responses as she thought of all the things she wanted to communicate to Edward right then. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry, too, that they'd had a misunderstanding. But even as the notion flitted through her mind, she knew she wouldn't voice it. For she hadn't seen herself as taking a break from Edward, per se, but from the mere obligation of being required to do anything outside of her own will – be it cooking, cleaning, shopping or having sex. But as Rosalie had been right about what was upsetting Edward in the first place, she'd most likely be right about how he would interpret her request to take a break from sex - as rejection.

She looked at him and saw that his apology appeared to have been forced. He wasn't even looking toward her, but straight ahead into the dark of night.

Therefore he was pleasantly surprised when Bella leaned over, kissed his shoulder and then his chest. He misunderstood what she was going for and immediately turned to put his arms around his wife in preparation of returning the kiss before making love.

But Bella, her mind now resolute, could not be deterred. She received Edward's kiss momentarily before breaking free and returning to his chest. In her eagerness, she abandoned the seductive descent she'd planned and instead kissed awkwardly around his sternum and belly before landing a few lip-taps to the thin trail of soft hair that guided her toward her destination.

Bella felt Edward get completely still as he tried to assess just exactly what she was planning to do, yet when her hand moved to free him from his pajama bottoms, he made quick work of helping her do just that.

"Babe," Edward exhaled, and Bella heard the pleasure in his voice as he hoped he'd guessed right about what it appeared she was about to do.

With solid determination, Bella put to work the little bit of knowledge she had for what she planned to embark upon. And since her eyes were closed as she trailed her timid tongue along the underside of Edward's shaft, she didn't see that he'd risen up on his elbows to watch as his wife gave him a gratification he thought she never would.

"Mmm," he groaned as she opened up and slid half of his penis into her mouth.

Bella happened a glance at Edward as she flicked and swirled her tongue around his tip and her confidence soared when his head lolled back and a groan of ecstasy left his throat.

The sounds invigorated Bella and she felt challenged to make him moan again and again. She sucked and licked and lapped – and what she couldn't fit in her mouth, she coated with her hand, pulling and tugging the sensitive skin toward climax.

Edward lay back unexpectedly and his legs trembled ever so slightly as Bella worked him over. His hands roved haphazardly over her head and through her hair and Bella felt her own arousal rising as she witnessed the affect she was having on him.

"Mmph," he grunted through his restraint, "Bella…I'm…I'm _right there_..."

At his warning, Bella readied herself for the thick, fetid fluid she knew was to follow. She kept up her ministrations and alternatively concentrated on Edward's rapid breathing and whelps of delight.

"Babe," Edward managed as he tapped Bella's shoulder with the tips of his fingers. "Baby, I'm…"

Before he could finish his sentence, a jet-stream of semen hit the back of Bella's throat and she choked slightly in an attempt to swallow it. Hesitation and over-thought of the process caused the dense liquid to pool in her mouth until she couldn't bring herself to gulp it down. Without much elaboration, Bella excused herself to the bathroom where she expelled it into the toilet, and happily noted that when she returned to bed Edward didn't look as if he minded at all.

"Tell me," he said as he pawed at her appreciatively, "what did I say that made you want to do that, because I'll say it again, every minute of every day."

Bella giggled as she snuggled against his warm body. "It was okay, then?"

"Okay?" Edward mocked her. "_Okay_? It was magnificent, glorious, fantastic, outstanding, exemplary," he said.

"Are you just saying that so I'll do it again?"

"Yep," Edward held her tightly and nipped lightly at her temple. "And now it's my turn," he said as he reached between her legs and rubbed her there softly.

At first, Bella thought that was all he was going to do; bring her relief with his hand so that he could hurriedly get to sleep.

But Edward began his downward crawl, much more eloquently than Bella had been able to accomplish, and when she realized what he was going for, she put her hand on his head to stop his actions.

"Why not?" he asked her.

She crinkled up her nose at him and shook her head. "I don't like that."

"How do you know? No one's ever done it to you."

Bella just continued to fight against the idea insistently.

"But you did it to me."

"That's because you enjoy it. I won't enjoy it."

"I bet you will."

"Edward, I'm not in the first grade. That's not going to work."

"Please, baby," Edward turned houndish eyes on her. "I've wanted to do this to you for so long."

"No," Bella said, but Edward could see that her resolve was wavering due to the alluring way he was pleading with her.

"Please," he whispered as he raked his lips against the inside of her thigh.

"Edward," her breath came out in a shuddery sigh. "…don't."

"Five minutes. Just let me have five minutes and if you don't like it, I'll stop."

"Five minutes is an eternity."

"Three minutes," Edward shot back, not wanting to waste his momentum on arguing. Bella was close to giving in – he could feel it.

"Edward, I'm really uncomfortable with it…with your face being down _there._"

Hurriedly Edward went down and licked the crease at the apex of Bella's thigh. "My face has already been down there. No big deal."

"Edward…" Bella pressed.

But Edward could see the fight had left her eyes and he didn't bother responding as his hands slid over Bella's smooth torso and hips before holding her still as he took up residence between her parted legs.

"Two minutes," came Bella's muffled voice from underneath her arms as she hid her face from what Edward was doing. She was so humiliated at the thought of what was happening that she wasn't at all prepared for her body's reaction the first time his tongue came into contact with her clit.

She nearly bucked him off the bed.

After thirty seconds, Bella stopped grimacing at the sounds created by the licking and lapping of Edward's tongue.

After forty seconds, she uncovered her face and reached down to clutch feverishly at the sheets on the bed.

At fifty seconds, Edward no longer needed to hold Bella's legs open, as they stayed open of their own volition.

By the minute mark, Bella stopped trying to suppress her breathing and allowed a soft mewl to escape her lips.

At two minutes, Bella could conceive of nothing else as Edward's entire mouth clamped down on her sex and suckled fiercely at the responsive flesh.

"Ahhh..uuhhh…uuhh…mmm.." she cried wantonly.

She had to look down then, to verify that what was being done to her body was really caused by the attention of her husband and not a magical mirage of her mind.

Edward caught her looking and the rapt desire in his eyes put her over the edge. At four minutes and five seconds, a back arched; a mouth opened; eyes shut tight; an abdomen constricted and toes clenched as Bella experienced the most earth-shattering orgasm of her entire existence, the sight and sound of which catapulted Edward back to a ready state and with no warning he was on and inside his wife, with his second climax of the night looming in the near future.

It was nearly three o'clock in the morning before the couple settled off to sleep and though Bella was concerned for Edward's aptitude at work later that morning, she didn't have to be. For when she called him in the late afternoon to see what he wanted for dinner, he was upbeat and jovial when he answered with, "You."

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Thank you, jjuliebee, for reading for me!


	34. Chapter 33 A Change in Latitude

**A Change in Latitude. **_As Cannabean couples began to encounter events, both good and bad, in their unified life, it strengthens their bond, grows them closer and shapes their character. _

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Edward stood at the window in his living room and looked across the expanse of his back yard. In the far-off distance he could see the top of a backhoe and tendrils of smoke and dirt as the contractors worked away on the guest home at the edge of his property. Turning his attention inside, he smiled to himself as he noticed Bella's dog-eared book on Chinese customs on the bedside table. It warmed his heart at how interested she was in taking this trip with him and he was excited to watch her have the experience of a new culture for the first time.

He was also looking forward to getting away with his wife, which would happen sooner than their trip to China. In less than a few hours, he and Bella would be boarding an airplane to San Francisco, where, in addition to obtaining their visas, they would stay overnight at the Fairmont Hotel and enjoy a bit of sight-seeing before flying back home. It was a bit indulgent for such a short trip, but Bella had never flown anywhere and Edward wanted it to be a nice first experience.

"Ready, babe?" Edward asked as he knocked on the bathroom door. Bella had been in there for quite a while and he hadn't heard any sounds emanating from the small space for several minutes.

Finally Bella emerged and Edward stifled a gasp at the way she looked. "Are you sick?" he asked when he took in her greenish hue and the bilious expression on her face.

"No. No, I'm not sick," Bella said, as if she could will away her condition with her words. "I think I'm just a bit nervous. I felt a little queasy last night but then it went away. I'm sure I'm just overly excited about going to San Francisco. I'll be fine as soon as we get on the plane, I'm sure of it."

But that didn't appear to be the case. Instead of taking advantage of her window seat and her view of the billowy, cottony clouds beyond it, Bella tilted her seat back, pressed a cold, wet cloth over her forehead and kept her eyes closed. Edward didn't want to be the one to break it to her, but he was pretty sure she had the flu.

"I'm sorry you're not feeling well," Edward leaned over and whispered. "We could have postponed the trip, honey."

"No, it's nothing like that. I'm fine," Bella insisted, even though she didn't open her eyes. "As soon as we land, I'll be great."

"As soon as we land", turned into "as soon as we make it to the hotel", which became "as soon as I've rested a bit". So after visiting the Chinese Consulate Office, Edward passed the time channel-surfing while Bella partook of a two-hour nap. He continued to have low expectations for her recovery, but after they'd had a late lunch, she seemed fine.

"Do you want to go to the wharf? Or see the Golden Gate Bridge?" Edward asked.

"Sure," Bella shrugged as she looked down at her shoes. "But these shoes aren't really that comfortable. Can we go back to the room for a second?"

"Of course," Edward said as he wrapped his arm around Bella as they walked. She slipped her arms around him as well and laid her head upon his shoulder.

It was pretty close to what heaven must be like; Edward was sure of it.

Back at the hotel, Bella didn't just change her shoes. She laid out a completely new outfit and then jumped in the shower without warning - not that Edward minded. He joined her.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked, not wanting to get his hopes up, but the sight of her naked body…

"I am. I told you I would be. It was just nerves," Bella said over the din of the water.

Upon hearing the good news, Edward reached out and pulled Bella's body against his own, spearing her in the process, with his obvious need.

She giggled as she turned to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Are you up for it?" he whispered.

"Oh, yes," she assured him.

What began in the shower was continued out of water as Edward and Bella tripped their way toward the king-sized bed. Towels, clothes and bed linens were tossed aside as they fell together on the mattress, energized at the prospect of making love in an unfamiliar place.

Perhaps it was the fact that they were someplace new, or maybe it was that Bella was so happy to be feeling better, but Edward noticed she was slightly less inhibited as she watched him, with no complaint, crawl between her legs, his lips inches above her sex. He knew there was no need to ask her if it was okay to proceed. The desire and wanting in her eyes told him that it was.

As Edward moved his face against his wife, he reveled in her taste, her smell and the way she showed her appreciation for how he was making her feel. Through eyes slightly above belly-level, he watched as her hands raked feverishly through her wet hair, her head writhed from side to side, her shoulders pressed back against the bed and her breasts…

Her breasts, so full and perfect, seemed to call out to him. Edward reached up with both hands and drove his fingers across her peaks. Her incandescent sounds enticed Edward's passion and he could barely wait for her to finish before he slid inside of her.

"We need another shower," Bella laughed as they lay next to each other moments later, sated and smiling.

Edward simply shrugged. It wouldn't be the worst thing to go out into the world with the scent of his wife upon his skin.

"Is this what it's going to be like in China, or are you going to be working the entire time?" Bella asked as she interlaced her fingers with Edward's.

"We'll have time together, but I _will_ be working a lot," he warned her. "And well into the evening. A lot of business takes place in restaurants."

"I read about that," Bella said. "There's a lot of drinking, too," she said nervously.

"Don't worry. I won't be doing any of that." At his words, Edward allowed his mind to momentarily roam to his brother, Jasper, and the tribulations he'd had with alcohol. Though Edward had previously not thought ill of the occasional drink, he now had even less interest in imbibing.

"I'm not worried," Bella said as she snuggled up to him. "I'm just glad that we're not going to be apart. I would have hated that."

Edward showed his agreement with that statement by leaning over and kissing the tip of Bella's nose. She offered her lips to him, and pretty soon they were kissing and caressing one another deeply.

Silently, Edward rolled on his back and Bella straddled him when it became evident that they were both craving more of one another. From his position beneath her, Edward once again couldn't take his eyes off Bella's breasts. Again he took a handful, but that quickly proved not to be enough. Holding Bella firmly to his body, Edward moved to a seated position. His lips were now perfectly positioned in line with Bella's nipples and he wasted no time taking one into his mouth, and then the other. He inhaled the sweet aroma of her rose-scented soap as he nuzzled against her bosom and kneaded her mounds with his fingers. He was sure the extra attention he was showering upon her was responsible for the tightening he felt gripping his penis.

"I love you," Bella gasped – something Edward had learned that she always did right before she climaxed.

_I love you,_ Edward thought in return. He would have said it aloud if the mind-numbing orgasm he was on the brink of experiencing wasn't usurping all of his faculties.

More than a few minutes later, he and Bella were still in bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to catch their breath.

"Where do you want to go first?" Edward asked. They'd already decided they were going to Fisherman's Wharf, but Edward would use any excuse to prolong his stay in bed with Bella.

"The wharf is fine," Bella said, throwing back the sheets and stepping out of the bed toward the bathroom. Edward appreciated the view from his vantage point as she walked into the adjacent room. "We can go see the bridges after that if you want." Her voice was momentarily eclipsed by the starting up of the shower.

Edward must have dozed off soon after, because the next thing he knew, Bella was standing over him, fully dressed, asking him if he'd rather skip the wharf.

"It's going to be dark soon," she said.

"We have enough time," Edward said as he rubbed his eyes.

"You still have to get showered and changed-"

"I'm not taking another shower. I'll just towel off." It was his intention to get out of bed right then, but apparently he'd fallen asleep again, because the next time he opened his eyes, Bella was standing beside the bed with a wet washcloth.

"Here you go," she held it out to him.

He accepted the towel and shielded his groin with it as he walked to the bathroom. Through the mirror, he could see Bella inconspicuously glance at his backside when she thought he wasn't looking. He felt a stirring of pride at knowing his wife was visually pleased by him. So pleased, in fact, that after washing himself off a bit, he strutted back into the open hotel room, sans towel.

And once again, from where she was seated on the bed, he caught her looking.

But then she noticed him noticing her, and she quickly looked away, turning bright red in the process.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her eyes staring out the window.

"Looking at my beautiful wife," he winked.

She turned to him then and Edward could see the effort in her expression as she tried to maintain eye contact with him. But she faltered and looked below his waist.

"Edward," she whispered with a humorous humility. "How can you possibly be…ready _again_?"

"You have that affect on me," he smiled.

He leaned down to kiss her and she received him well.

"We're never going to get out of here, are we?" she chuckled.

However, Edward couldn't even focus long enough to respond. His eyes had locked on Bella's mouth, and how, if he moved in just a few more inches, his penis would be parallel with her lips.

"Edward."

She wasn't questioning or commanding anything. She simply looked curious; wondering at why her husband was intensely staring her down without a word.

Edward shifted slightly closer. His mind was racing with the appropriate way to communicate his most pressing desire at that moment. How could he ask her, without sounding crass or crude, to pleasure him orally?

A week had passed since the last and only time Bella had had him in her mouth, and he couldn't help but notice that she didn't seem to be in any rush to repeat the performance – a performance that he longed to have an encore of every day since it'd happened.

His eyes were pleading as he silently implored her to read his mind. _Don't make me ask. Don't make me ask…_

He exhaled through slightly parted lips when Bella began to rub his thigh slowly.

"Edward…I'm not good at it," she admitted quietly.

"You're great at it," he said hurriedly. He felt his erection grow even firmer at the prospect of receiving his craving.

"No, I'm not," Bella insisted. "I can't…I can't get you all the way in my mouth."

"That's okay," Edward said as he watched Bella's lips. _So close._

His world swung into bloom the moment Bella gave in to her desire to appease him. It wasn't with words or gesture, but with the miniscule repositioning of her body that allowed Edward to move into the perfect stance. With one hand threaded in Bella's hair at her shoulder, and the other hand holding his penis steady, Edward leaned forward until his tip kissed Bella's bottom lip. Her indecision was nearly invisible as she opened up to him and, for the third time that day, received him well.

From the optimal position above her, Edward watched as Bella attempted to take more and more of his shaft in her mouth. He was overly excited by the sensation and pressed in deeper. Unfortunately, Bella didn't know how to accommodate his length and she gagged around him.

"It's okay, it's okay. Just relax," Edward urged when she looked as though she was going to give up. He placed his hand at the base of her jaw, near her throat and softly rubbed with his fingers. "Just relax," he whispered.

He looked down into her large, trusting eyes as he felt the tension in her neck evaporate.

"Uhhh…that feels so good," he encouraged her.

Bella's fingers momentarily explored the underside of his penis before she wrapped her hand around his exposed girth and moved in unison with her mouth. Edward didn't attempt to conceal his escalating passion. He tapped in to Bella's rhythm and began to move with her, thrusting his hips in time to the motion of her hand, her tongue, her lips…

"I'm –" He didn't even get the words out before he was streaming into Bella's mouth with no warning. She grew very still as she closed her eyes and then, after a few long seconds, swallowed.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked with trepidation. It hadn't been his intention to finish with no warning.

"I'm great," she told him.

"You sure are," he agreed.

Hours later, they both agreed that the wharf, at night, was also great, as was the Golden Gate Bridge and the twinkling lights of the Presidio against a canvas of ebony sky.

After a rooftop dinner at their hotel, Bella and Edward retired to their room, where they fell asleep almost immediately, only to wake up hours later for another escapade in one another's arms.

Edward was sad to see the time had gone by so quickly, but after a brief encounter at the Consulate's Office, they left San Francisco for home, with visas in hand.

"I think we should travel more often," Edward said as they walked through the airport terminal. "Hotels bring out the animal in you."

"Edward!" Bella admonished before looking around to see if anyone heard. Upon seeing that no one was paying them any attention, she glanced at him slyly. "I think they bring out the animal in both of us."

They laughed together and reveled in their time a little bit longer, but real life was looming just around the corner – without mercy. As soon as Edward and Bella had retrieved their luggage and were headed for their car, Edward's cell phone chirped with a text message from his father. That wasn't a good sign. Carlisle _hated _to send text messages and avoided it whenever possible.

"He needs me to call him immediately," Edward alerted Bella.

Bella looked instantly worried as she reached for Edward's bag to free him of the load. "What do you think it is?"

Edward shrugged, but offered no words; he'd already called his father and the phone was ringing.

"Is Bella there with you?" Carlisle asked as soon as he'd answered. He didn't bother saying hello.

"Uh…yeah?" Edward's eyes flashed toward Bella.

"Okay. Just be mindful of your reaction," Carlisle said. "First of all, everything is fine. But Charlie had a minor stroke this morning and Renee is freaking out. I was afraid she'd get to Bella before I was able to let you both know that it was minor. So far, I haven't seen any side effects from it."

"What happened?" Edward carefully concealed his alarm so as not to upset Bella.

"Renee said that she went to bring Charlie a cup of coffee and he was staring at her strangely. She tried to hand him the cup and he couldn't take it. When she asked him if something was wrong, she couldn't understand what he was saying. She called an ambulance and then she called me. Since I was already at the hospital, I went in to Emergency to look him over. He's talking okay now, though he doesn't remember much from this morning."

"But he's okay?" Edward noticed that Bella was watching him closely at this point.

_'Who'?_ She mouthed.

He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb against the back of her palm, a silent promise that he would answer her questions soon.

"He's fine. They're keeping him overnight to run some tests, but most likely the stroke was caused by his high blood pressure."

Edward thanked his dad for the call and turned to face Bella as soon as he'd hung up. He quickly got to the point when he saw the panic looming behind her eyes.

"Your dad is fine," he began, "but he had a small stroke this morning and they're keeping him in the hospital overnight for a few tests."

"Oh my god!" Bella dropped everything she'd been holding except her purse, which she frantically began to search through for her phone. As soon as she found it, she turned it on and it rang to life with the chimes of a multitude of missed phone calls and messages. "My mother called me eighteen times!"

"We can go to the hospital right now," Edward said. "You can call her your mom on the way."

The one hour trek to Forks Hospital seemed to take longer than the combined flights from San Francisco to Seattle, and Seattle to Port Angeles. When they'd finally arrived, Edward had barely shifted the car into park before Bella leapt from the vehicle and ran into the hospital in search of her mother. As soon as they saw one another, Renee and Bella collapsed into a fit of tears against each other. By the time Edward caught up to them, they were in such a distraught state that he was sure his consoling words would have no affect.

"Is Charlie awake? Can we see him?" Edward asked, thinking Bella would feel better as soon as she saw her father.

Renee nodded as she dried her eyes. "I can't do this in front of him," she motioned to her tears. "He keeps telling me I'm over-reacting and that he's fine. I have to keep it together for him, but I think he's scared, too."

At that information, Bella welled up again, but this time, she found solace in her husband's arms, instead of her mother's. It was hard to watch Bella go through such an emotional time, but Edward was thankful that he was able to be there for her, as her strength and support, when she most needed him.

"It's going to be fine," he said soothingly into her ear as they walked into Charlie's room.

"Daddy!" Bella was like a little girl all over again when she saw her father sitting uncomfortably in his hospital bed.

"Oh, now don't you start fussing, too," Charlie said as he allowed Bella to hug his neck. "I'm fine. Well, except for this slop they pass off as food around here."

"Dad, you're in the hospital. Of course I'm going to fuss," Bella told him.

"Not necessary. I feel better than I have in a long time. Whatever that was this morning, it jumped started my system. I'm tellin' you, I feel great," Charlie insisted.

Edward went over and offered Charlie his hand, not really wanting to be intrusive, but wanting to show his compassion. He heard Charlie's words and saw the determination in his eyes, but man-to-man, Edward also saw the fear and uncertainty in them as well.

Charlie was scared.

"I heard the prognosis was good," Edward said.

"It is," Charlie nodded eagerly. "This time tomorrow, I'll be home in my favorite chair."

It was a hopeful idea, but it wasn't a truthful one. On Friday night, Charlie had a reaction to the new blood pressure medication he'd been given, and for a moment it was thought that he'd had another stroke. His vision blurred, his speech slurred and his body slumped. Renee was an emotional wreck, and Bella was so frightened that she wasn't much help.

Fortunately, by late Saturday night, things were looking up and Charlie had been stable with no signs of internal damage, for over twelve hours. With some semblance of peace, Edward and Bella went home to a restless sleep. However, they forewent church the following morning, because it was already midway through the service by the time they finally made it out of bed.

"Do you think I should go to the hospital or over to my parents' to meet them when they come home?" Bella asked Edward over a cup of much-needed coffee.

"You should call your mother and see what she wants," Edward suggested. He had no idea what Bella should do, but he hated seeing her so lost and scared. Whatever made her feel better was the right answer in his mind.

Bella nodded, but she made no move for the phone. "Edward."

He looked up into her deeply sorrowful eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't go to China."

"Bella," Edward shook his head. "Your dad has your mother. I'm sure they don't expect you to stay here and-"

"Edward, you saw my mother," Bella interjected. "She can't deal with this on her own."

"She's not on her own," Edward insisted. "She's got my parents to help her, and frankly, Bella, you're as emotional as she is. It's not that I don't understand why, but maybe she needs-"

"Me. She needs me, Edward. I have to be here for her during this."

"Well, we're not set to leave for China for a couple weeks. I think you should talk to her about it and if she feels that she needs you to stay here, then…we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Edward knew that Bella wouldn't have a good time in China if she was worried about the health of her parents (the physical health of her father and the emotional health of her mother) the entire time. And of course he wanted Renee to have the support of her loved ones at such a trying time, but Edward wasn't convinced that the love and stability of someone not so emotionally involved, like his mother for instance, wouldn't be better. Of course, he'd never tell Bella that.

But as luck would have it, her mother did.

When Bella called to check in with her mother, Renee politely declined Bella's company that afternoon at the hospital.

"They're just running a few final tests before they discharge your dad. He's doing fine. He wants to go to Carlisle's service tonight, but I think he just needs to rest," Edward could hear Renee's voice through the phone.

"Well, then call me when you get home and I'll come by. I can bring dinner," Bella spoke rapidly. "And I was just talking to Edward about China. He's okay with me not going. That way you and Daddy don't have to worry about the construction and taking care of the house. Daddy can just rest and-"

"What do you mean you're not going to China?" Renee interrupted. "That's not necessary at all."

"Well, I just thought that you might want some help…"

"Bella, your father is fine. Take this time with your husband. You'll have all the time in the world to visit with us when you get back.

"But…"

"You know your father wouldn't be comfortable with you staying home on his account, and neither would I. It's not necessary, Bella."

So Bella accompanied Edward to his parents' house that afternoon for the usual family Sunday brunch and when asked about China, Edward noticed she made no indication that she wasn't going. However, the conversations regarding China were short-lived, as everyone sat back and listened to Jasper, who was usually silent, happily chatter away about his newest endeavor in the area of coaching.

"I'll finish up my training right before sign-ups, and then I'll get my team," he was saying. Then he looked across the table at Edward timidly. "And I have that form for you if you're still interested in sponsoring the team."

"Yeah, sure." Edward took in the appreciative smile his mother gave him before she touched Jasper on the hand.

"Honey, you're going to be a great coach. I can't wait to come to your first game," Esme beamed.

Jasper blushed under his mother's compliment. "I think Alice is looking forward to it more than I am."

"I'm going to be Team Mom," Alice interjected. "I've spent hours on the Internet researching healthy snacks. Did you know you're not allowed to give peanut butter to kids in organized activities because of the increase of peanut allergies?"

Soon the discussion turned to healthy snack foods, but Bella didn't participate. Edward looked over to find her staring dimly into her plate.

"Are you alright?" Edward whispered to her.

"Huh?" Bella shook herself out of her stupor. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired."

Edward caught his mother's eye as he looked up and she smiled at him and winked. He thought it was a strange motion, but Edward smiled in return and didn't give her a second thought.

"I checked in with your dad this morning, Bella," Carlisle said, also taking note of her demeanor. "He's doing well."

Bella nodded. "My mother said the same. And now that she knows what to look for if his blood pressure is spiking, she's not as worried."

"And you shouldn't worry either," Carlisle smiled at Bella to let her know that he saw through her veiled attempts to hide her concern. "What happened with your father is not uncommon, and fortunately it can be well managed with the proper medication."

Bella rested her hand on Edward's knee underneath the table and he reached forward and threaded his fingers through hers.

"See?" he asked quietly. "There's no reason to stay home."

Bella looked at him and nodded minutely. "You're right," she agreed.

Edward could tell his parents were pretending not to know what they were talking about, so he wasn't surprised when his mother piped up with a seemingly parallel topic.

"Bella, have you finished all your immunizations yet for China?" she asked.

"No," Bella shook her head. "My appointment is in a few days. I'm not looking forward to it. I hope I don't get as sick as Edward did."

Bella's words were only slightly tinged with negativity, but as time passed, Edward noticed that Bella didn't seem as excited about China as she once had. Throughout the rest of the week, he continued to ask her about her research and look for signs that her enthusiasm had returned. She spoke lightly about food that she wasn't interested in trying and wondered about the jetlag she'd experience on their return, but other than that, most of her energy was channeled toward the new construction and making sure her parents would be comfortable in her and Edward's home when they house-sat.

In fact, Edward had been surprised, but relieved, when she'd reminded him about her doctor's appointment to complete her pre-trip physical. Together they made sure she had all the necessary documentation and co-pays to visit the doctor, and when Edward had spoken to Bella moments before she left the house for her appointment, the pre-stroke exuberance for the trip seemed to have returned.

So when Edward walked into his house late Thursday afternoon and found Bella sitting in the living room, her books on China stacked on the far side of the table away from her, he was unprepared for a problem.

"I can't go to China," she sighed.

"Bella, we've been through this," Edward rushed to her side. "Your parents don't want you to-"

"I can't go to China because I can't get the immunizations I need before we'd have to go." A show of something between anxiety and amusement danced across Bella's features.

"I don't understand," Edward shook his head. "What happened?"

"We're going to have a baby," Bella wrung her hands nervously. "I'm pregnant."


	35. Chapter 34 Preparing for a Legacy

**Preparing for a Legacy. **_The physical, mental, emotional, tangible and intangible ways parents-to-be adjust to the notion of parenthood._

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"Edward, maybe you should ask someone to help you," Bella cautioned as she eyed the ladder he was setting up. "That's awfully high."

"I just have to hang this aluminum piece. It's not even that…heavy," Edward looked skeptical as he lifted the projection screen housing and looked again at the ladder. It was heavier than he'd remembered.

"Well, maybe I can hand it to you after you've climbed up there," Bella offered.

"No way," Edward left what he was doing and walked over to Bella, kissing her softly before putting his hand on her belly lovingly. "I don't want you lifting anything."

Bella rolled her eyes at his overprotective fussing. In the days since he'd found out she was pregnant, he'd barely let her do anything for herself.

"Edward, are you sure this is what you want to do?" Bella gestured to the audio video equipment that had just arrived via the United Parcel Service. "If you have to go to China, you have to go. I understand."

"There's no way I'm leaving you during the most important time in your pregnancy. Your doctor said you need to relax as much as possible and I'm not going to put that kind of unnecessary stress on you," Edward insisted. "Besides, you've made me realize that I should have done this in the first place. For the cost of our airfare, I bought this instead, and I can set up meetings with China, Belgium, Venezuela and Switzerland. It actually works out better."

"You're just saying that so I won't feel bad," Bella told him. "And if things don't work out with China, I _will _feel bad."

"Well you shouldn't," Edward responded. "Plus there was no guarantee that things would have gone well if I'd made a personal appearance. And this is the way a lot of things are done nowadays anyway, Bella. You've helped me elevate to the new millennium."

Bella looked at Edward dubiously. She knew that he was aware of the fact that she didn't want to be away from him while he traveled to China, but she also didn't want to be the cause of a failed business venture if he didn't go. Therefore, Bella kept her mouth shut when Edward began working overtime in an effort to win the contract in China.

Day and night he worked on his proposal to his contacts in China, and when he wasn't working on that, he was arranging meetings in Germany, Norway and Belgium.

His friend, Chin, came up from San Francisco to translate the video conference call to the Orient and Bella made sure to steer clear of the second floor, lest she disturb them and cost Edward the large sum of money she'd seen scribbled on a note pad during one of Edward's planning sessions.

And although the few video conference calls allowed Edward to work from home, he was still putting in a staggering amount of hours at the office.

"What do you mean you're working late?" Bella asked him when Edward called to break the bad news. "Like, a few hours or…"

"It's going to be late, babe. I'm sorry," he apologized.

"But, Edward, our parents are coming over tonight for dinner. We're going to tell them about the baby."

"Oh shit, I forgot."

"Edward!"

"I'm sorry, I uh…can you reschedule?"

"Reschedule? On such short notice?"

"Well…do you want to do it without me?"

"Tell our parents about our first baby without you?"

"Right…of course not. Um…"

"I'll call them and cancel."

Edward could tell by the low tone in which Bella spoke that she was on the brink of tears. He felt horrible, but there was no way he could get out of the conference calls he'd scheduled. He said a silent prayer for her understanding and hoped Thriftway would still have flowers when he made it by there on his way home from work.

They did.

The only bouquet that didn't look like it had been run over by a truck was plucked up by Edward and quickly carried to the checkout stand, where he gratefully paid for the overpriced bundle before heading home.

The house was dark when Edward pulled up and Edward guessed that Bella had gone to bed in anger instead of facing him in disappointment. After briefly stalling on the back deck to peek at how construction was finishing up, Edward ducked into the house and headed up the stairs to his wife.

Bella lay on her side with her back facing the door. Edward stood in the doorway and stared at how small she looked in the vast bed…how lonely.

"I'm sorry," he said, even though she wasn't awake; as if his apology was the price of admission into their bed.

After getting undressed and slipping into bed, Edward lay facing Bella until his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he could clearly make out the contours of her face. He reached up and gently pushed a lock of hair off her face. Even in slumber, she didn't look to be at peace.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again before drifting off to sleep.

However, when he awoke the next morning, there was no hint that his wife was upset with him. Though she had returned to bed and was once again asleep, there was evidence that she had gotten up before Edward. There was breakfast and a carafe of fresh coffee on the counter, along with a lunch packed with what was supposed to be last night's main course. Edward was grateful for the fare, and a tad bit guilty for the effort she'd expended despite his disappointment to her.

"Still love me?" he asked her hours later when he called home to check in.

"Of course," she told him.

"I promise we'll tell our parents soon. How about Sunday at brunch?"

"Edward, we can't."

"Why not? My mom is just going to call Emmett and Jas…oh."

"Yeah. I don't want to do that to Alice, or anyone else. I know it'll put your mom in an uncomfortable situation."

"Well…Friday night? It's the only break I have."

"So you're working late tonight, then?"

Edward sighed, weary from the weight of upsetting his wife once again. "I don't really have a choice."

"Okay," Bella agreed quickly and forewent any further small talk before getting off the phone in haste.

Edward assumed that she was upset once again, so when she showed up hours later, with a basket of dinner for two, he was thoroughly surprised.

Unfortunately, when he'd said he needed to work, he'd meant it. Bella sat in a corner of his office with her plate of food and watched Edward as he paced back and forth behind his desk while he spoke to a host of suppliers in Hawaii; his food sitting idle and cold before him.

Yet Edward kept his word, and Friday found he and Bella seated at their dinner table with both sets of parents.

"You've really done a lot in here, Bella," Esme gushed as she looked around the home. "I love the colors in the sitting room."

Bella smiled to herself. It was one of the only rooms that had been decorated since the wedding and without Esme's watchful eye.

"Oh, Mom, that reminds me, the contractors are ready to pick paint. Do you want to help me go through samples?" Bella asked.

Renee shook her head. "Just pick something you like, honey. I'm sure it'll be fine."

Bella had been trying, unsuccessfully, to get her parents to take ownership of moving into the guesthouse. She and Edward had made countless attempts to gain their input on the design and construction of the home, but Charlie and Renee continued to defer to them for any decision making, refusing even to offer an opinion or preference.

Edward had thought it was because they didn't want to be a burden and felt guilty for needing the home in the first place, but Bella knew exactly the root of her parents' standoffishness. It was obvious to her that Charlie and Renee had no intention of staying in Forks for any extended period of time and viewed the accommodations that their daughter and son-in-law were providing them as temporary.

"Wow…" Esme looked around the spread Bella had prepared for everyone and clasped her hands together in appreciation. "This looks…special."

Edward and Bella looked at one another. There was no use dragging it out. Their parents knew there was something more behind getting together than simply sharing a meal.

"We really wanted to have you over for dinner to thank you for all the help and support you provided during the wedding," Edward said as he smiled at Bella's parents.

"And for all the help with the house and just for being there for us," Bella nodded in Esme and Carlisle's direction.

"Always," Esme professed.

"And…" Edward looked over at Bella to prompt her. He was giving her the honor of sharing the news.

"We wanted to let you know how happy we are to know that our baby is going to have the most wonderful grandparents in the world," Bella said.

Edward and Bella sat back and watched as the cryptic message resonated with their parents. Charlie nodded slightly, embarrassed by all the gushing; Carlisle looked at Edward with a bemused expression on his face; Renee stared at Bella, silently deciphering the code and Esme just smiled giddily.

"How far along are you?" Esme asked Bella.

"Wait-," Charlie put his fork down and faced Bella directly. "You're pregnant?"

Bella nodded, amused at her father's reaction as she watched his eyes drift over to Edward while he awaited the answer to Esme's question.

"I'm almost six weeks, which is why we're not going to China now," Bella said. She could tell her father was mentally calculating the weeks that had passed since the wedding. When he realized her condition had occurred within the time period of matrimony, she saw Charlie relax.

Carlisle had the opposite reaction. When he thought no one else was looking, he gave Edward a smug raised eyebrow-nudge that rendered Edward almost as red as Bella when she realized that her father-in-law was congratulating her husband on their sex life.

Finally, Bella allowed her eyes to shift to her mother's, where she found, as she knew she would, quiet tears shining.

"Oh, baby," Renee left her seat and moved to hug Bella. "I'm so happy for you two!"

The dining space erupted into conversation then. Carlisle and Esme, the veteran grandparents, told Charlie and Renee about what to expect, how different it is from parenting, how funny it'll be to watch their children traverse parenthood, and most importantly, to make sure they only give their grandchildren sugar when it's about time for them to go home.

After the meal, the men moved into the living room while the women packed away food and sat over coffee and tea (decaffeinated for Bella) in the kitchen.

"How are you feeling?" Renee asked as she rubbed the back of Bella's hand.

"I still feel sick, but knowing what it is makes it much more bearable," Bella admitted.

"Ginger tea helped me a lot when I was pregnant," Esme offered. "And lots of rest."

"I have been resting," Bella added quickly.

"Good. Make sure you don't overdo it during the day," Esme said.

"You might want to tell that to your son," Bella smiled. "I think he's going to work himself into an early grave."

"Sweetie, that's what men do when they find out they're going to be a daddy. They go into 'provider' mode," Renee said.

Esme agreed. "We get obsessed with our health and men get obsessed with providing and with what they have to offer to a legacy."

"I remember being so consumed with every little thing I put into my mouth, knowing that everything I ate, my baby was eating also." Renee patted Bella on the knee.

Bella smiled at her mother until a mortifying thought crossed her mind. Suddenly her eyes grew wide in horror.

"What? What's wrong?" Renee asked.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Esme wondered with concern.

"I, uh…um…" Bella stammered.

Just then, Edward, followed by his father, walked into the kitchen. As soon as Edward looked at Bella, he knew something was wrong and he walked over and stood beside her chair.

"Are you two telling horrible birthing stories?" Carlisle asked when he saw the somber expression on Bella's face.

"No," Esme and Renee answered.

Bella motioned for Edward to follow her out of the kitchen, and as they left they could hear the worried murmurings of their parents behind them.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Edward asked when they were alone.

"My mom was talking about how the baby eats everything I eat…"

"Yeah? So? You knew that already."

"I know, but before I knew I was pregnant…Edward," Bella looked at him frantically. "I swallowed your…you know."

"So. That doesn't…I mean, that can't hurt anything…right?" Even though Edward was trying to be reassuring, Bella could tell that he wasn't certain, either, that it wasn't a problem that their offspring had sampled his or her own father's semen.

"I don't know," Bella cried. "Edward, what if something goes wrong with the baby? What if it was a crucial moment of development and I fed the baby…"

"You're running low on toilet paper in the bathroom."

Edward and Bella looked up to see Charlie standing before them.

"Oh…okay. I'll get some." Bella excused herself quickly.

As she passed by Edward's office, she considered ducking inside and searching the Internet for the danger semen would impose upon an unsuspecting embryo, but then she nearly laughed at herself. Surely no other woman would have been in such a situation, so there couldn't possibly be anything that ridiculous on the Internet.

When Bella completed from her errand, she returned to the living room, where she found her parents and Esme laughing over something comical they'd heard at church.

_'Everything okay?'_ Renee mouthed when Bella entered the room.

Bella nodded, even though she was still worried about the health of her baby. However, there was no way she was going to discuss such a thing with present company.

"Are you going to find out the sex of the baby ahead of time?" Esme asked.

Bella shrugged. "Edward doesn't want to know."

"But you do," Renee winked. "So you can get the bedroom all fixed up."

Her mother knew her so well. As soon as the idea of the pregnancy had solidified itself in Bella's mind, she immediately began planning for the baby's room. Blue or lavender walls, white washed furniture, stuffed animals, soft lullabies…So clearly Bella could see it all in her mind, and she couldn't wait to get started on it, but with Edward not wanting to know if they were having a boy or a girl, there wasn't much Bella could get a head start on unless she planned for unisex colors.

"I thought Jasper was going to be a girl," Esme interjected. "The pregnancy was so different from Emmett's that I was certain I wasn't having another boy. I remember being so excited that I ran out and bought all these pink, frilly things."

"She even brought a pink lace nightgown with her to the hospital the night Jasper was born. I had to call our friend to bring something more appropriate when we saw that he was a boy," Carlisle laughed as he joined the conversation. He and Edward had suddenly appeared in the room and Bella immediately noticed how relaxed and unfettered Edward looked.

"Well, thank goodness for white," Edward said as he rested his hand on Bella's shoulder.

"White?" Esme grimaced in distaste. "Your baby's first set of pajamas is his or her entire life can't be _white_. Not when there are so many other wonderful colors out there. No. You just get two of everything and then, when you find out what you're having, you just return the others. That's what I'd do."

"Or you can just have each grandmother buy the bring-home-baby outfit. One buys for a boy, one buys for a girl," Charlie said in such a way that Bella wondered if she was the only one that realized he was making fun of the entire conversation.

"I'll buy for a girl," Esme said.

Renee just chuckled, and Bella saw that her mother, too, knew that her father was being facetious.

"Well, we'd better get going so this mother-to-be can get her rest," Carlisle said as he walked over to Bella and gave her a hug. "And I wouldn't be a real doctor if I didn't remind you to drink lots of water and take your prenatal vitamins."

"Right," Bella smiled as she hugged him back.

Carlisle lingered for a few seconds more before he spoke. "Foods that are rich in iron and calcium are important. I know few people like them, but cooked clams and oysters are great sources of iron. And it's not like you're feeding your baby oysters just because you're eating oysters. Your body breaks your food down by its nutrients, and that's what you're passing on to the baby. So if you eat, say, ice cream, you don't want to eat an extra scoop because baby wants some, too. All you're sending his or her way is more sugar, fat-"

"And calcium," Esme added as she snaked her arm through her husband's. "Don't let him scare you off all the good stuff. That's one of the perks of being pregnant."

Bella followed as her guests walked toward the front door and she went through the motions of saying her goodbyes. However, she was even more mortified than she'd been earlier as she figured out why Edward suddenly appeared so calm.

"Please tell me you didn't," she managed through clenched teeth the minute she and Edward were alone.

"Didn't what?" Edward asked.

"Tell your dad about…you know."

The expression on Edward's face revealed that he had, in fact, told his dad about 'you know'.

"Honey, he doesn't care about things like that," Edward began.

"Oh my gosh, Edward!" Bella buried her face in her hands in humiliation.

"Well, heck, Bella, you had me thinking something might be wrong with the baby. I panicked and asked my dad."

"And that's not embarrassing to you? You don't care that he knows that we…that I…did that to you?"

"You've obviously not spent enough time around my parents."

Bella remembered Esme's loose candor all too well from the Quilting Bee, but that didn't mean she was comfortable with her in-laws, or her parents for that matter, knowing what went on between herself and her husband behind closed doors.

Not that a pregnancy didn't scream to the world exactly what they'd been up to.

"That's the craziest thing about pregnancy," Rosalie said a few days later when she called to congratulate Bella. "Every person who crosses your path once you've got your belly knows that you've had sex. It's kind of weird to think that strangers will know that about you, you know?"

"Well I _didn't_ know until you planted that seed of knowledge. Thanks for that," Bella said sarcastically. She readied herself for her sister-in-law's frank humor regarding what she and Edward were now referring to as the "semen incident", but Rosalie didn't say a word about it and Bella was momentarily comforted by the fact that maybe her in-laws could keep a secret after all.

Actually, Carlisle could keep a secret. Esme could not. Luckily, the only secret she had to spill was about the upcoming birth of her fifth grandchild. Even though Bella and Edward had expressed their desire to keep a lid on their announcement until the second trimester, Esme figured they couldn't possibly want to keep things from family. So after calling Rosalie, she also dropped the news to Jasper and Alice, and though Esme didn't offer how Alice had accepted the news, Bella expected that Alice would come down with an unexplainable illness, just as she'd done when Rosalie had announced her pregnancy.

But Alice did no such thing. Instead, she mimicked Rosalie's congratulatory call before returning her affections and attentions to her new favorite pastime: planning her life as team mom to Jasper's upcoming soccer team.

"Alice, the season doesn't start until August. You have over six months before you need any of the stuff you're planning," Jasper said. He spoke as if he was embarrassed, but his demeanor and expression revealed that he was delighted of her interest in his venture.

Yet, despite Alice's carefree attitude about being the only female Cullen with no children, Bella still tried to be sensitive of the situation and not talk about her pregnancy or anything 'baby' around Alice.

It took Alice all of two weeks to put an end to that.

"So how's the sex? I hear it's better when you're pregnant," Alice asked.

Bella barely made it to the sink before she spit out the tea she'd been drinking in astonishment.

"Oh my gosh, Alice!" Bella admonished as she wiped her mouth with a towel.

"Well…" Alice shrugged. "I didn't know what else to say to get you to stop tip-toeing around me like I'm some fragile piece of glass."

"How about 'stop tip-toeing around me like I'm some fragile piece of glass'?"

"Would that have worked? Really?" Alice tapped her fingernail on the tile countertops in the new kitchen of the guesthouse. Renee and Charlie were finally accepting the fact that they were moving in and had started the slow process of packing. Alice had accompanied Bella to the house to look over the not-yet-complete unit.

"Maybe," Bella said unconvincingly.

"Yeah, maybe not," Alice rolled her eyes. "I know that you think your being pregnant and being happy about it makes me sad, but that's not true at all. What makes me sad is that you feel like you have to ignore something so exciting and that I'm not happy for you. This is going to be my niece or nephew, you know."

"I know," Bella smiled.

"Well then…who's throwing your baby shower?"

"Uhh…you?"

"Good answer."

And though Bella never answered Alice's question outright, she did have to agree that sex _was_ better now that she was pregnant. It wasn't as if it wasn't good before, but now there just seemed to be a heightened sense of pleasure, and a desire that couldn't be satiated – something that Edward immensely appreciated.

"If this is what you're going to be like when you're pregnant, we're going to need a bigger house," Edward said as he rolled off Bella. It had been six consecutive days of making love twice a day and there didn't look like there was going to be any change to the regimen in the near future.

"I'm sorry," Bella said, playfully hiding her face with the blanket.

"What are you apologizing for? For making me the happiest man on the planet?" Edward asked as he smiled down at her. "Though I don't know how productive I'm going to be after another week of four a.m. activities, but I'm not complaining."

"Should I stop waking up with you?" Bella asked.

"No!" Edward answered quickly. "Are you kidding? I like being with you in the morning. It's the best kind of exhausted."

Bella smirked at the oxymoron and reached up to run her fingers through Edward's hair. "Are you sure that it's me that has you exhausted and not your work schedule?"

"Hey, I've slowed down," he reminded her.

And he had. After a long conversation, Edward had revealed that their mothers had been correct, and that his long work hours made him feel as if he was contributing during the pregnancy while Bella did the honorable job of growing their offspring. Bella had then confessed that she had been harboring a bit of guilt, worried that her inability to travel to China, and thus his, had required the vast increase in hours to make up for what was sure to be a loss in revenue.

"I told you that you don't have to worry about money, Bella. We're fine," he'd reiterated that night.

"I know that's what you _said._ But that's not how you're acting," Bella had responded.

Therefore, the very next day, Edward had his last late evening conference call and he'd been home before five o'clock every night since. And seemingly by divine providence, as soon as Edward stopped burning the midnight oil, he not only won the bid with the supplier in China, but he also secured an unexpected contract to import cars to Hollywood for an upcoming feature film.

However, all of the good fortune started to make Bella nervous, for she just knew that something unpleasant was looming on the horizon to even things out. In caution, she monitored her father's health as well as he would allow her to and held her breath through every post-exam report her mother gave her on her father's behalf.

"Bella, you need to relax," Charlie finally told her one afternoon when he came to deliver the first moving box to his new address. Bella was chagrined at the way he was moving one box at a time, but she said nothing. "Nothing good can come of all your worrying."

"I know," Bella sighed. "But I can't help it."

"Sure you can," her father told her. "All you have to realize is that whatever is going to happen, is going to happen. You don't have any control over it, so stop trying to. It's actually quite a freeing concept."

Bella knew her father's words were meant to be comforting, but they weren't. It actually made her more fearful of all the things that could happen that she could do nothing to prevent.

Sometimes, long after Edward had fallen asleep, Bella would lay awake at night and let all of her fears pass through her mind: _What if something is wrong with the baby? What if my father has another stroke and is paralyzed? What will my mother do? What if my parents move away and something happens? Will I be too far to help out? Will Edward and I be good parents? How much weight am I going to gain during my pregnancy? What if I can't lose the weight; will Edward still desire me? What if I don't make it to the hospital in time? How painful will the delivery be?_

The questions proved to be nearly endless and Bella was careful not to share too much with Edward because she'd learned that he could be worse than her if he let his mind wander to the unknown.

So Bella kept her fears to herself, confident that she would just have to get over them in her own time. But every so often, providence would rear its head again and grant her respite.

"So…" Charlie rocked back and forth from heel to toe as he stared inside the empty guesthouse that was about to house all of his furniture. "This here's got three bedrooms?"

Bella maneuvered her hand to indicate 'so-so'. "Two bedrooms and a hobby room." Then she elaborated when Charlie frowned. "There's no closet in the hobby room."

Charlie nodded, his eyes still on his surroundings. "You're gonna fix one room up with a little bed?"

"Dad, I told you, this house is for you and Mom to decorate however you want. I don't want you to feel like a guest. It's your home for as long as you'll have it."

"Well good," Charlie looked at Bella directly for the first time in a long string of minutes. "Because you can't tell me I'm about to be a grandpa for the first time and then expect me to be able to move away. You don't play fair, Bee."

Bella let out a tearful chuckle when she realized what her father was telling her. She threw her arms around him and held him tightly.

"Now, now, don't go excitin' yourself. Gotta mind your condition," Charlie said gruffly as he disengaged from the embrace after a few seconds.

"My condition," Bella paused to wipe her eyes and smooth down her dress, "is happy."

And for the present moment, she allowed herself to feel just that.


	36. Chapter 35 Time of Birth

**Time of Birth. **_The Cannabean society considers the extension of family to be of utmost importance. A 'time of birth' spans a pregnancy, birth, post-partum period and is inclusive of the many customs therein: a naming ceremony, a time of bonding, and a formal introduction of offspring. The time of birth ceases when the new parents resume their physical intimacy in the form of intercourse. _

_

* * *

_

Time was a relative force. Edward watched it slowly drip by as his wife smiled and spoke to a being he couldn't see – couldn't even fathom.

But then suddenly it was racing past, illustrated in Bella's changing wardrobe, which morphed to incorporate looser fitting tops and dresses, and by the addition of more frequent naps into her daily routine. There were also more visits from the other women in the family as they helped Bella prepare for the imminent addition to the Cullen clan.

"You're really not going to find out what you're having?" Alice asked Edward one day when he arrived home from work. It was her turn to bring dinner, but instead of simply dropping off a meal, Alice wanted to prepare it for Edward and Bella in their own kitchen.

"We're having a baby," Edward stated flatly as he sorted through the mail. His mother, his mother-in-law, and both of his sister-in-laws couldn't get enough of giving him a hard time for not finding out the gender of the baby ahead of time. Nonetheless, Edward held firm to his decision not to find out.

"It's not necessary," he always said. "It's not like I'm going to love it any less if it's a boy or girl."

Whenever he'd make this assertion, Bella would just smile and nod, but it was evident that this was more his stance than hers. She didn't argue or disagree with him, but Edward was pretty sure that if he changed his mind, she'd quickly make a call to find out what they were having.

But Edward wanted to preserve at least one discovery that they could experience together at the very same time. Bella felt the flutters and heard the heartbeat first. She was bonding with their unborn minute by minute as she carried their baby in her womb. Edward listened to her explanations of the tiny kicks and turns and had even felt a few tremors that reached his hand as it lay upon Bella's naked torso, but it wouldn't be the same as finding out the identity of their baby simultaneously and welcoming their infant son or daughter.

Still, most of the family was not cooperating with his and Bella's decision not to find out. Esme had a room full of soft frilly frocks in lavenders and pinks, while Renee, though she wouldn't admit to it, had a drawer tucked away of miniature baseball outfits and pajamas bearing cars and trucks.

Leaving their mothers to get carried away with whether the baby was a boy or a girl, Bella and Edward spent their time focusing on the gender neutral issues of parenthood.

"I don't think I'll be able to spank our kids," Bella announced one evening when they were talking about their own upbringings.

Edward laughed at a memory this conjured up for him. "My mom was never good at spankings. Sometimes we'd get her mad enough and she'd try, but she never swatted us more than twice and it never hurt."

"What about your dad?" Bella asked.

"Ugh," Edward made a face. "He made it hurt."

"What kinds of things did you get spanked for?" she asked, smiling at the idea of a mischievous young Edward.

"All kinds of things: throwing firecrackers at the neighbor's cat, putting worms down girls' dresses, fighting with my brothers…"

"You fought with your brothers?"

"Constantly."

"I can't imagine you getting in trouble," Bella said as she snuggled up to him. "You seem like you would have been such a good little boy."

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, you probably won't be any good at spankings."

Therefore, unofficially, it was declared that Edward would be the disciplinarian in their home, much like his father had been, and his father's father before him.

In addition to discipline, Edward and Bella spoke about the Cannabean customs they felt most adamant about instilling in their children. They both wanted to maintain the tradition of the naming ceremony – a practice in which gathering family members bestow a gift, blessing or performance upon the baby that represents his/her name. Unlike pagan cultures, Cannabean naming ceremonies did not replace church baptisms. On the contrary, Cannabean baptisms were sacred events that were planned and put on by the maternal grandparents if the child was a girl and the paternal grandparents if the child was a boy. Esme had already convinced herself that Renee and Charlie would be doing the honors of planning the baptism.

Of the customary practices surrounding birth and child-rearing, the notion of circumcision wasn't among them. Edward hadn't been circumcised, nor had either of his brothers, and there were no plans to implement such a practice for their offspring, should they have a son.

"I read that little boys can get really painful infections from not being circumcised," Bella stated.

"It's not from being uncircumcised – it's from lack of hygiene," Edward responded. "And if you're concerned about pain, do you know what a circumcision actually is?"

Bella acquiesced that he had a good point, not that she was contesting the lack of circumcision, and Edward knew this. It simply made them feel like good and thorough parents for discussing every facet of any topic they could think of that would affect their child.

While Bella mainly focused on the emotional matters concerning their child, Edward took a more practical approach. The moment Bella struggled to get comfortable behind the wheel of her luxury sedan, Edward traded it in for a more family friendly model. This time, more used to the handle and operation of the German automobile, Bella didn't baulk at the X5, all-terrain sports utility vehicle that he replaced her car with.

Bella did, however, have an issue with whom and how many people they were going to allow into the delivery room.

"Why your mother and not mine?" Edward asked when Bella expressed dissatisfaction with having Esme in the room when their first child was born. "That isn't fair."

"Edward, I'm going to be naked," Bella said, as if that explained everything.

"You can wear one of those backward gown things," Edward argued.

"But the important places are going to be uncovered."

"Well how am I going to explain to my mother that she can't be in the delivery room but your mother can?"

"I don't know…but, I mean…it's my _mother_, Edward. She's seen everything. It's different. Your mother will understand. Won't she?"

"_I_ don't understand."

"Well, what if it was you? What if you were having…a vasectomy and both our fathers wanted to be in the room-"

"Let me just stop you right there," Edward interrupted, already uncomfortable with the idea of a procedure in such a sensitive area. "First of all, you can't compare a birth to a vasectomy. They're too different. One requires you to stay in the hospital for at least a day and the other is an outpatient procedure. Second, our parents aren't interested in seeing _us_. They want to be there for the baby."

"I just can't imagine being comfortable with your mother there."

"Well I can't imagine that she was all that comfortable with you taking her to the bathroom when she had her hysterectomy, but she endured it."

Bella made a face but she didn't look any closer to compromising on the issue. Edward decided to just let it go, knowing his wife's comfort during such a difficult ordeal was of utmost importance, but it was still difficult to allow her mother the gift of welcoming her grandchild into the world while denying his mother the same opportunity.

But every issue couldn't be solved in a day, and in the time that wasn't spent deliberating over Cannabean child-rearing, Edward was happy to be wrapped in his wife's arms – though, sadly, he learned that her voracious libido had had its limits. As the forty-week mark grew nearer and Bella's belly grew rounder, Bella wanted sex less and less frequently. There were many times when he knew she was doing it only to satisfy his needs, and though he felt selfish, he couldn't go without. As it was, he was certain that the six-week imposed sex ban after the birth was going to be his demise.

"You're going to be too tired to even think about sex," his older brother told him one afternoon when Edward stopped by Emmett's home to drop off a mock up of a company logo Bella had designed for Edward's business. Jasper and Emmett's soccer team needed the logo for their jerseys, and with his life turned upside down with the expectation of his first child, Edward had waited until the very last second to complete the project.

Edward sighed at his brother's statement. "Yeah, so I hear. Apparently I'm about to be sharing a home with a non-stop crying, peeing and pooping machine."

Emmett laughed. "True, but that's not what I meant. This is your first kid and up until it comes home from the hospital, your life is pretty much the same. Your time is still your own. But the second that baby appears, it's crazy how fast things start spinning. Bella's had nine months to slowly get used to the changes because her life's been changing a little bit every day. She's eating differently, she's sleeping differently, she's walking differently. By the time the baby comes, she's already used to thinking for two. But you…" Emmett paused to grin at Edward for effect. "In like one hour, suddenly you have every fear, thought and plan imaginable; and if it's a girl, it's even worse."

"Worse?" Edward panicked. "How? Why? Why is it worse?"

"Because the second you see her, you're going to think she's the most beautiful thing in the world. And then everybody will tell you she's the most beautiful thing in the world. In no time flat all you'll be able to think of is how some guy out there is going to be trying to get in her pants."

Edward fought the urge to swear. "Don't tell me that."

"Yeah, so like I said," Emmett continued, "you're gonna be way too exhausted thinking about all that stuff to think about sex."

"Really?" Edward was skeptical.

Emmett shrugged. "Well, at least for the first few weeks."

_Few weeks._ Edward grimaced. Bella's doctor had said it would be _at least_ six weeks before they could be intimate again.

And as if his words hadn't been disheartening enough, Emmett had to add:

"I hope you're not too attached to Bella's boobs, 'cause if she's breastfeeding, you can kiss those babies goodbye for the next year or so."

_WHAT?_

"I don't think you should breastfeed," Edward told Bella that night as they lie in bed beside one another.

"How can you say that?" Bella turned to face him suddenly. "We read all those articles about how healthy it is for the baby, how it helps their immune system and sense of security, not to mention the cost savings of not buying formula."

"I know," Edward whined like an insolent child before shifting his hand up to caress Bella's bosom. "But I just can't imagine not being able to touch these for a whole year!"

Bella laughed then. "You do know that they probably won't stay this size, right?"

"I love you at any size, Bella." And while the topic of conversation was about her breasts, Edward hoped Bella understood that his words referenced every part of her. If she was insecure about how he'd feel about her body, even after the pregnancy, he wanted her to know that she shouldn't be. He loved her too much for something so inconsequential to matter.

His words served as a precursor to their lovemaking that night. Careful to be gentle with Bella, who was uncomfortable in nearly every position, Edward guided her on top of him and entered her slowly.

"Are you alright?" he asked as his strong hands helped her move against him.

"Mmhm," Bella murmured. Her eyes were closed tightly as her fingers rested atop Edward's.

The doctor had said that sex at the end of Bella's pregnancy might prove to be unpleasant for Bella, so Edward watched her closely for any signs of discomfort. However, the visual stimulation of Bella's bare breasts and her near-orgasmic expression was too much for Edward and he finished much sooner than he'd anticipated. He was barely able to hang on until Bella reached her own climax.

If he'd known then, that that was to be his last physical encounter for six weeks, he might have tried harder to sustain himself.

Saturday morning, four days prior to Bella's due date, Edward lay on his back, sexually sated, staring up at the ceiling. Down the hall he could hear Bella moving around in the baby's room, opening and closing closet doors and dresser drawers.

The room had been painted a cornflower blue, something Bella had said could easily be suited to male or female décor. She'd said the color was soothing and Edward discovered that lately she was spending quite a bit of time in the room. She called it "making preparations", but every time Edward caught her in there, she was sitting in the glider in the far corner staring out the window.

"Honey?"

Edward tilted his head in the direction Bella's voice wafted from. Something in her tone was anxious and after a few seconds he threw off the covers and went to seek her out. When he found her, she was in the hallway, leaning against the wall, with her hands on her belly.

"Everything okay?" Edward immediately asked.

Bella nodded. "I think so. I just wondered if you had your stopwatch handy."

"Why? Are you having contractions?"

"I'm not sure. I can feel a tightening feeling, but it might just be Braxton Hicks."

Edward was familiar with the term for false labor, but something in the pallor of Bella's skin told him that this wasn't the case.

"How long have you been feeling it?" he asked.

"All morning," Bella confirmed. "I got up about three hours ago…" Bella paused to inhale and exhale before continuing, "Because I had to go to the bathroom and it's been happening ever since."

"It hasn't been five minutes," Edward said of her most recent pain; he didn't need a stopwatch to confirm this.

"I know," Bella looked up at him nervously. "Can you call my mom?"

Edward did as she asked and in less than ten minutes he spied Renee running through the back lawn from the guest house on the back lot to his back door.

"Is it time?" Renee asked breathlessly when Edward opened the french doors for her entry.

"I'm not sure," Bella answered. She was now in the living room, anxiously walking the length of the floor.

"She doesn't think she's having real contractions," Edward explained.

"They're not painful, just uncomfortable. My belly feels really tight," Bella elaborated. She began to rub at her lower back and closed her eyes again.

"Another one?" Edward asked as he came up and put his arm around Bella.

"Yeah," Bella let out in a shaky breath; she leaned in to Edward's body for support. Once the contraction passed, she moved toward the downstairs bathroom. "I might as well just set up camp in here. This is about the fifth time I've had to go in the last hour!"

Edward looked over to find Renee watching Bella with a pensive expression on her face. As soon as the bathroom door closed, she started moving quickly.

"Where's Bella's hospital bag?" she asked.

Edward pointed to the closet door just off the foyer. "Do you think it's time?"

Renee nodded. "The baby's dropped." Renee indicated with her hands how low Bella was carrying. "And she's still having the contractions even though she's moving around."

Suddenly Edward felt as if the room was spinning. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to catch his breath.

"Can you call my parents?" He called over his shoulder to Renee as he rushed to the closet and pulled out Bella's suitcase. "We need the car seat. Where's the car seat?"

Bella came out of the bathroom with her hands on her belly and watched Edward for a few seconds – a vacant expression on her face.

"I think I just lost my mucous plug," she announced solemnly.

"What is that? Is that bad?" Edward asked in alarm. "What does that mean?"

"It means I think it might be time to go to the hospital." Her responding smile displayed a cautious joy.

"Okay. Okay, then." Edward tried his hardest to be as calm as Bella seemed to be, but he couldn't tap into that reserve. He kept trying to remember all the books, classes and television shows he'd watched on the subject, but nothing was coming to mind. He wanted to be Bella's rock in this situation and give her peace, but it was she who was calming _him _down.

She stood near the front door and inventoried the lot of things Edward set before her, directing him where to find everything they thought she might need.

"Ooh…" she exclaimed when a particularly strong contraction struck. "I think we'd better get going."

With one had on the steering wheel, and the other held by his slightly frightened wife, Edward drove as quickly as he safely could towards the hospital in Forks.

"Did we wait too late? Do you think we waited too long to leave for the hospital?" Bella asked Edward.

"No. No, we're fine," Edward told her.

And they were fine. Barely.

Renee hurried into the emergency entrance to announce her daughter's arrival while Edward helped Bella from the car. He gripped her tightly as they walked until a nurse appeared with a wheelchair to whisk them up toward the maternity ward.

"Have you been timing the contractions?" the nurse asked sweetly. When Edward nodded that he had, she added, "how far apart are they?"

"Close," was Edward's reply.

The nurses wasted no time getting Bella in bed; all the while she was being checked, Edward kept wondering if this was a false alarm.

"We'll call your doctor," The nurse stated as she removed her latex-free gloves. "Hopefully she'll make it before the baby comes. You almost didn't make it!"

Edward and Bella exchanged glances of shock before another contraction consumed her.

Thirty-five minutes later the doctor rushed in, took one look beneath the thin paper blanket that sheltered Bella's nether regions from the rest of the world, and asked Bella if she felt ready to start pushing.

"Ready, babe?" Edward whispered as he offered his hand to Bella in preparation of the momentous feat she was about to undertake. He could see the fear on her face and he wanted nothing more than to take it away. "You're going to do great."

Bella lifted her chin, a sign that she wanted a kiss, and as soon as Edward indulged her, the process began.

In the background, Edward listened to the sounds of delivery: the beeping of the monitors, the instructions of the doctor and the faint encouragement that Renee offered; but in the foreground, his focus was solely on Bella. When she relaxed, he relaxed; when she bore down, he felt her exhaustion and when she cried, he teared up as well; and when she collapsed against the thin mattress in accomplishment, he shared in her jubilant victory.

"Did you call my parents?" Edward asked Renee as they watched the tiny, writhing baby being swaddled and handed to the new mother.

"Yes," Renee promised.

But even though she'd called Carlisle and Esme at the exact minute Edward had asked her to, they still made it to the hospital ten minutes after their six pound, ten ounce grandson was born.

Jonathan.

Jonathan Edward Cullen.

His name meant 'gift of God', and while his parents definitely considered him to be the gift, the rest of Jonathan's extended family wasted no time in bringing him a variety of treasures that they felt represented him and his name.

In the Cannabean culture, it was considered rude for any visitors, aside from family, to call upon the baby within the first seven days of birth. Therefore, in the first week of their son's life, there was a near constant flurry of activity at Edward and Bella's house as Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Charlie and Carlisle dropped off gifts that had been given to them on Jonathan's behalf; Renee never dropped off gifts, as she rarely left the baby long enough to receive them.

Still put out over not making it to the hospital in time, Carlisle and Esme found restitution in planning an elaborate baptism for their grandson. The entire church was invited, though the ceremony only truly held meaning to the fellow Cannabeans within the community. Yet, it was an opportunity to dine and meet the new baby, which many residents were curious enough to do.

After nearly two weeks, the new family finally had a moment to themselves. Edward and Bella sat on the sofa with their small bundle and stared at him as if they were seeing him for the very first time.

Many descriptive words had been thrown out to characterize their baby: cute, precious, sweet, calm, gorgeous – and though the proud parents agreed with all of them, they also noticed his uniqueness and the fact that he didn't really look like either one of them.

If they tried hard enough, they could kind of make out a resemblance to Bella, but only because she resembled Charlie – who was exactly whom Jonathan looked like. He had the same thick, curly dark hair; soft, even complexion; and the most soulful, deep brown eyes.

"Usually I'm the last person to say who a baby looks like," Edward admitted, "but he looks so much like your dad it's scary."

"Minus the mustache," Bella chuckled.

And darn it if Charlie Swan didn't happen to whole-heartedly agree.

Not a fan of hospitals, Charlie's initial appearances to see his first grandson were scarce, only visiting the maternity ward twice before Bella brought Jonathan home. But once Jonathan was home, Charlie stopped by several times a day to peek in at "Little Jon". Edward and Bella weren't fond of the nickname, but Charlie seemed to be, and so they allowed him, and only him, to call their son a derivative of his name.

"I saw the cutest little fishing hat down at Olympic. Come fishin' season, Little Jon and I will have ourselves matching hats. Isn't that right?" Charlie did his best impression of a coo as he nuzzled Jonathan against his chest.

Edward watched the scene, and many just like it with other members of the family, in proud patience. He loved how everyone came out and fell to pieces over his son and he loved sharing this good fortune with his family; so even when his arms yearned to cradle his offspring, he bided his time until it was his turn.

Edward knew that he wasn't alone in his quest to spend time with his son. Bella had it worse than he did because everyone assumed that she wanted a break. When she wasn't breastfeeding, there was always someone there to lift Jonathan from her arms, and unfortunately, where Charlie and Renee left off, Esme and Carlisle picked up.

Most likely that was the reason that Edward came home from his first full day of work since his son's birth to find Bella in the same place he'd left her that morning, holding their son.

"Have you been holding him all day?" Edward asked, his hands already extended to take the baby.

"Maybe," Bella confessed, though she readily handed Jonathan over, telling Edward how she desperately desired a long, hot shower.

Nevermind what _he_ desperately desired.

On the calendar, with a bright red circle around it, was the date of Bella and Jonathan's six-week check-up. At the appointment, Bella's doctor would confirm that mom and baby were progressing nicely, answer any questions Bella might have and, most importantly, clear her to resume having sex with her husband.

Unbeknownst to his wife, Edward had planned an overnight stay at a local bed and breakfast. He'd booked the English room at the Misty Valley Inn, only partly because every photo of the room was of the bed.

It had initially sounded like a grand idea to Edward; something he could "wrap up" as part of a one-year anniversary present. However, when he broached the subject with Bella, she was less than enthusiastic about it.

"We can't leave Jonathan." Her tone was warning, signaling Edward not to push her to do any such thing.

"Just for the night, honey. Just so that we can have some time together."

"We have time together every night, Edward."

"You know what I mean."

From the hue her cheeks colored, she hadn't been thinking along those lines.

"I'm nursing."

"Exactly. Natural birth control. And we rented the breast pump from the hospital for situations just like this, right?"

Bella shook her head. "I'm not ready for that, Edward. I'm not ready to leave him."

So Edward backed off, feeling rejected and thinking his wife did not desire him as he desired her. Then, one night a few days shy of the six-week mark, Bella's goodnight kiss to him was lingering and when he reached down the back of her underwear and ran his hands over her bare bottom, she didn't flinch away.

"I miss you," he told her with urgency.

"I miss you, too."

"Can we…" Edward trailed off. "Tonight?"

"The doctor said she had to clear me first to make sure my incision healed," Bella told him. "And if I didn't think there was a possibility that I could make us have to wait even longer to be together, I'd risk it."

"Really?" Edward was delighted to hear that her libido was still intact. He'd heard enough horror stories about it not returning to last him a lifetime.

"Really," Bella answered resolutely.

But then, as if on cue to remind them of why they had to abstain in the first place, Jonathan let out a high-pitched caterwaul, and Bella leapt out of bed to retrieve him.

"We need to get away together," Edward said when Bella returned to bed an hour later. "We need to make this a priority," he gestured between the two of them.

It wasn't that he was saying his son wasn't important, or that Jonathan didn't need them, but Edward's father had taken him to lunch on the day of Bella's baby shower and instilled in him the importance in remaining connected to his wife and preserving their relationship amidst parenthood.

"It's easy to get lost," Carlisle had said, "and then when the kids grow up and move on, you look over at your spouse and realize that you hardly know them anymore."

"Did that happen to you?" Edward had asked of his parents' relationship.

"No, but it happened to my parents, and that's the only reason I knew I had to make sure it didn't happen to your mother and me."

Edward had shared the details of that conversation with Bella and perhaps she was remembering them at that very moment, for she slowly relented and agreed to go on an overnight rendezvous with her husband.

He tried not to get his hopes up until Bella called him three afternoons later and told him her doctor had given her the "all clear". Then it was all Edward could do not to dance a jig in his office.

After reaffirming his reservation at the bed and breakfast, Edward was then faced with the deed of finding a babysitter for Jonathan.

It wasn't that he was afraid of placing a burden on his family. Quite the contrary. He was afraid of which set of grandparents he would offend in _not_ asking them to tend Jonathan. There had already been grumblings from his mother that Renee and Charlie got to see Jonathan much more frequently since they lived on Edward's property. Edward quickly reminded Esme that technically they all lived on the same property. That hadn't stopped her disgruntlement, but Edward knew he had to sort something out since he'd told Bella he'd handle the details of their outing.

And so he asked both grandmothers to do the honors of watching the baby.

"That was a very political move on your part," Bella laughed as she added another container of breast milk to the freezer.

She could call his maneuver whatever she wanted, but as long as Bella was happy, laughing and wrapped around him for the rest of the night, Edward was satisfied.

"Reservation for Cullen."

For two hours Edward listened to Bella prattle off a long list of reminders that neither grandmother needed, watched her show them which bottles Jonathan preferred and then joined in as she kissed their son goodbye for the night. Then finally he had the privilege of leading his wife up to the check-in desk of their destination for the next fifteen hours.

"Ah, yes. The English room," the attendant smiled as she handed Edward the keys. "It's one of our loveliest rooms.

"Thank you," Edward said as he accepted the keys. As long as it had a bed, he didn't care what it looked like.

Bella, on the other hand, was enamored by the beauty of her surroundings.

"It's lovely, Edward. Thanks for doing this," she said as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed the cleft of his chin.

Though the intention was to go to dinner first, desire got the better of both of them. A few chaste kisses turned into feverish embraces and in a matter of seconds, they were lying naked between the sheets.

This time, Edward was calculating and methodical as he moved over his wife's body, peppering her neck, the valley of her breasts, her abdomen, her thighs and what lay between with kiss after kiss. When at long last he finally entered her, she was nearly trembling with desire.

And on that night, Andrew was conceived.


	37. Chapter 36 The Cannabean Family

**The Cannabean Family.**_A familial unit that extends beyond the nuclear family to include the unions through marriage that savor, strengthen and support one another in love, life and faith._

* * *

"To the right," Edward grunted as he lifted his end of the large desk. He sighed in dismay as the desk suddenly moved in the opposite direction than he'd intended. "The _other_ right, Charlie."

"You need to give clearer directions, Edward. I'm walking backwards. My right is your left," Charlie responded.

Bella tried to hide the amusement on her face as she watched her father and her husband lightly bicker as they traversed the foyer with the office equipment Edward had recently ordered from a discount furniture store.

It had taken only a week of working early mornings and late evenings for Edward to make the decision to move the majority of his business to his home office. He missed his son more than he ever thought possible during his long hours at the office, and the ability see him and play with him in between phone calls, or during a short lunch break was a huge motivation for Edward's decision to telecommute. His administrative assistant, Gladys, was very encouraging of the endeavor, as she was close to retirement and loved the idea of only having to work a few days a week.

Bella, on the other hand, found the venture to be bittersweet. She loved when Edward was at home and wanted him with her all the time. But she also liked the fact that when he was done working for the day, he physically _left_, and thus mentally left the job. Now that he'd be working at home, she feared that he would work all the time because it would be more convenient for him to do so.

"I want to be here more for you and Jonathan," Edward had said when Bella expressed her concern to him. "And I know that means that I have to balance my work and family life. I can do that, Bella. I promise, you don't have to worry."

And so Bella didn't worry. She trusted Edward at his word and supported him whole-heartedly during the period of six in the morning until two-thirty in the afternoon; leaving him alone to completely focus on work.

Not that that meant that Edward was a no-show during his working hours. On the contrary, he'd placed a baby swing in his office and at those times when Jonathan had a clean diaper and a full belly, he slept soundly in his father's office while Edward typed and corresponded around him.

In Bella's opinion, Edward's generosity in giving her a hand with the baby during the day didn't happen a moment too soon. At first, it was nice to have her mother assist her with other duties around the house instead of tending to Jonathan all the time, but as the weeks wore on, Bella was surprised to find that she wasn't snapping back to her pre-pregnancy state as fast as she'd thought she would. Despite late morning jogs and afternoon walks with Jonathan, the slight pooch of Bella's abdomen was stubbornly not going away. Vitamins and healthy snacks did nothing to help her energy levels; Bella found herself exhausted and useless well before the evening meal.

"Is it because I'm nursing?" Bella asked her mother one morning when she felt particularly off. "Jonathan is eating all the time lately, like he's not getting enough or something."

"I vaguely remember being tired when you were nursing, but that was just after you were born and I was trying to get the hang of things," Renee answered as she moved Jonathan to rest against her shoulder. "But by the time you were a few months along, I was fine."

Bella heard her mother confirm what she'd been feeling: that she should have turned a postpartum corner by now.

"Maybe you should have your iron levels checked. If you're anemic it could make you feel really tired," Renee suggested. "But if you need to lie down, go right ahead. Jonathan and I will be right here when you wake up."

Bella stole a glance at the clock and, seeing that she had a few hours before she needed to prepare dinner, she accepted her mother's offer. After kissing Jonathan's angelic cheek, she escaped to her bedroom where she fell asleep almost immediately and didn't wake until nearly two hours later when her mother, and a very hungry Jonathan, woke her up.

"Oh!" Bella hopped up quickly and accepted her baby readily. "Sorry, Mom. I didn't think Jonathan would need to eat again so soon. You should have woken me up earlier."

"I came up to wake you a little bit ago but you were sleeping so soundly and Jonathan wasn't fussing at all. Edward said to let you sleep, so I didn't bother you until absolutely necessary."

Even though she'd slept for so long, she hardly felt rested, and after feeding Jonathan, preparing dinner and giving the baby a bath, Bella felt ready for bed again.

"Maybe you're coming down with something," Edward said later that night when they were lying naked together in bed.

Bella shook her head. "I don't think so."

But despite her words, she did make an appointment to see the doctor in a couple weeks. Perhaps her mother was right and she was a tad bit anemic. Either way, the peace of mind at finding out that nothing was wrong might help to alleviate her constant weariness.

As she waited for a professional prognosis, Bella made a great effort to get into the routine of being a present wife and mother. She'd finally gotten Jonathan on a normal routine and he was sleeping well throughout the night. Work seemed to be going well for Edward; he had a video conference with Singapore scheduled for the end of the week and though he'd lost out on a contract he'd been expecting, a larger one was due to close any day now.

Without the stress of deadlines on his mind, Edward was able to finish up his work day at an optimal time and he and Bella were able to spend hours together, alone, while Jonathan slept in the early evenings. Though Bella didn't have the stamina to make love at all hours of the night and morning like she'd had before the baby, she still noticed that Edward had no complaints and he went to sleep with a smile on his face at least three times a week.

In addition to tending to her husband and son, Bella also made communicating with her extended family a priority. One day Rosalie called, breathlessly begging for a favor, telling Bella how Alice had come down ill and was unable to host a sports banquet that she'd previously committed to.

"She didn't want to ask you because Jonathan is still so little, but Bella, I can't pull this off on my own. Esme is busy with the Cannabean Women's Society and I didn't know who else I could ask on such short notice. Please say you'll help me," Rosalie beseeched.

"What would I have to do?" Bella asked, knowing she'd help her sister-in-law, regardless of Rosalie's answer.

"Help me stuff goodie bags, decorate, mail invitations and most importantly, talk me off the ledge because I'm sure at some point during this experience I'll want to kill myself," Rosalie said.

So Bella put on a brave face for Rosalie and even enlisted her mother to help with the party planning, though truthfully, Renee mostly kept Jonathan and Rosalie's kids entertained while Bella and Rosalie worked. The process served well to keep Bella's mind off her fatigue, but at the end of the day she still fell into bed, catatonic from the day's activities. She had hoped that her tiredness would wane once the event had come to pass, but two days after the soiree, she was just as exhausted as usual. When she showed up to her doctor's appointment later that same week, she nearly teared up as she explained her plight.

"I just can't seem to muster up enough energy to get through the day. The baby eats all the time and I think my body is just working overtime trying to keep up with the milk production or something," Bella said. "My mother mentioned that I might be anemic. Is it okay to take iron supplements while nursing?"

The doctor smiled as she looked over Bella's chart. "Are you still taking your prenatal vitamins?"

Bella nodded. "That doesn't seem to be making a difference though."

Bella was so focused on the information she was giving and hoping for an immediate, and non-dismal diagnosis, that she was completely taken aback when her doctor asked her a question that she construed as irrelevant and slightly inappropriate.

"Have you and your husband resumed sexual relations?"

Bella's eyes widened at the query as she stumbled to answer it. "Um…well, yes."

"It's listed here that you were using natural family planning as a form of birth control. Are you still employing those same methods?"

"Well, I'm nursing, so…"

"You still need birth control to avoid pregnancy even when you're nursing." The doctor put down Bella's file and leaned against the counter. "Remember, I said you are _less_ fertile when you're breastfeeding, but you're not _infertile_."

Bella stared blankly at the floor and suddenly she knew, even before the doctor confirmed it from a blood test half an hour later that she was, in fact, pregnant.

In a daze of despair, Bella managed to make it home from the doctor's office, only to be met by a pleasantly exuberant Edward at the door.

"My parents called an hour ago. They want us to come for dinner. They said they have big news," he said as he jostled Jonathan. "Don't look so worried. I'm sure it's not detrimental. If anything, it's probably my dad's announcement that he's retiring and taking my mother to travel the world." Edward took in the expression on Bella's face. "But they want us to come over right now, so are you ready?"

At the sight of Jonathan, an extreme wave of guilt washed over Bella, as she knew how soon his little world would be turned upside down.

And then Bella's eyes shifted to Edward's and the hopefulness that she saw there stifled her announcement in her throat. Edward was sure that the news his parents had to announce was positive, but Bella wasn't convinced. What if, instead of good news, the report was bad? What if Edward had to attempt to process horrible news on top of finding out that he was to be a father for the second time in less than six months? Forever, the news of the baby's birth would be coupled with whatever misfortune Esme and Carlisle had to announce.

No – Bella decided right then and there to wait until she and Edward were alone later that night to tell him the news.

"Honey?" Edward frowned at her as Jonathan cooed and rooted against Edward's chest. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," Bella plastered on a shallow smile.

"Okay. Well…I think Jonathan needs to be fed before we go."

As soon as Jonathan's belly was full, the family drove the short distance to Edward's parents' home and Bella wasn't surprised to see the vehicles of Edward's brothers already present.

"This must be huge," Bella muttered to herself more than Edward, but he heard her nonetheless.

"Yeah, it sounded like it when my mother called this afternoon. She was practically vibrating with happiness," Edward said.

"She was happy?" Bella clarified.

"Yeah. I told you – it's good news," Edward smiled.

_Well if it's good news…_

"Edward," Bella began before they got out of the car. "I want to tell you what-"

"Come in! Come in!" Esme called as she flung open the car door and started removing Jonathan from his car seat. "What took you two so long to get over here?"

Bella, who hadn't even seen Esme emerge from the house, had been started silent.

"Bella's appointment ran a little longer than expected, that's all," Edward shrugged. He pulled Jonathan's baby bag out of the backseat before walking over to Bella, and with his arm draped loosely around her waist, led her into the house.

The aroma of delicious food that tempted Bella's senses the moment she was through the door was more than enough to make her mouth water. She hadn't even realized how hungry she was until she took in the heavenly scent.

"Come on in. Everyone's in the dining room," Esme called over her shoulder as she led the way with Jonathan in her arms.

Edward and Bella greeted the family cordially and anxiously took their seats around the vast dining room table. All eyes were on Carlisle, including Emmett and Rosalie's children's', as they awaited the unrevealed news.

"Thank you all for coming on short notice," Carlisle's eyes danced with amusement at the way everyone was so tuned in to him. "I know you're all busy and probably had plans of your own, so it means a lot to me that you can drop everything and come running when your family calls."

"Of course," Edward said, and Emmett echoed this sentiment with a nod.

"So, out of common courtesy, I'm not going to delay this announcement any longer." Carlisle smirked as his gaze moved to every individual at the table before resting on Jasper. "Son?"

Jasper, the most quiet person at all family functions, cleared his throat in preparation of speaking. He looked so nervous that Bella wondered what he could possibly have to say to warrant all the suspense.

"I uh…well, heck. I don't feel like it's right for me to do this…" he glanced over at Alice.

"I'm pregnant!" she shouted excitedly to everyone present. "We didn't want to tell anyone until I'd made it through my first trimester, but that ended this week so…"

There was a moment of silence while the enormity of Alice's words sank in with all that had heard them.

Finally, Esme let out a whoop of joy and Rosalie applauded in happiness. Edward quickly offered Alice and Jasper congratulations and Emmett slapped his brother on the back affectionately.

Bella watched the food on her plate spiral and swirl into a myriad of colors as she struggled to maintain control while she listed to the festive brouhaha around her. But her grip on her resolve was slipping and when she heard her mother-in-law state how much babies were a blessing, Bella's emotions won out and she burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," Bella whimpered as she stood. "Alice, I'm so happy for you," she managed before she fled from the room.

She was able to get as far as the kitchen before Edward overtook her.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked as he pulled her into an embrace before she had a chance to explain.

"I'm sorry," her apology was muffled into his shirt.

"For what? Why are you sorry?"

"This is Alice and Jasper's night and I'm ruining it."

"You're not ruining it. C'mon. Tell me why you're upset. You're scaring me."

Bella simply looked up at Edward and slightly raised her eyebrows. When he failed to read her mind, she took his hand and laid it low on her belly.

"No way," he said, dumbfounded.

"This is exactly what I said I didn't want, Edward. Remember? Two babies in diapers!" Bella whispered harshly.

"You're _pregnant_? How did this happen?" Edward struggled to keep up. "You-you can't be pregnant. You're…_breastfeeding,"_ Edward whispered the latter as if it were a dirty word.

"Yeah, apparently that isn't a fail-safe method," Bella said, her face growing warm with anguish. She could feel her emotions bearing down against her throat and she fought to keep her composure. But when she saw Edward pull at his hair feverishly, she knew that he was as distressed about the situation as she was, and she started crying all over again.

"Sweetheart, don't cry. It's going to be fine." He kissed the top of her head and gripped her tightly. "It's not the worst thing that can happen."

"Edward, our children won't even be a year apart in age. Jonathan may not even be walking before this baby is born and how am I going to carry two babies around? I don't want Jonathan to feel like he isn't important." Bella prattled off the worries that had begun to plague her immediately.

"Bella, Jonathan isn't going to feel disadvantaged at all. He won't know any different. All he'll know is that he'll have a near-constant playmate for the rest of his life. He's not going to be deprived at all. You'll see."

"I already see that he _is_ being disadvantaged. The doctor said that the reason he's eating so often is because I'm not producing enough milk because of the pregnancy. I have to stop nursing, Edward. Breast milk is so much healthier for him and I have to give him formula because I got pregnant again so soon," Bella cried.

"It's going to be fine, Bella."

But Bella detected, in Edward's voice, that he was unsure as well.

She allowed her husband to cradle her a few minutes more before she wiped away her tears and straightened her disheveled dress.

"I'm not ready to tell anyone about this yet. Besides, this is Alice's night," Bella said and Edward nodded.

"Yeah, we can wait to say anything. It's not like we don't have nine months."

"Actually, we have six months. The doctor thinks I'm fifteen weeks."

Edward tried to put on a brave face for Bella, but she saw it in the suddenly chalky pallor of his skin, the miniscule way his nostrils flared in anguish and the shallow, haunted rasps of his breath.

He felt even more unprepared than Bella did and that terrified her even more.

"We'll be fine," he said nonetheless, but Bella didn't believe him. She was too busy wallowing in her fear, regret and guilt.

Each sworn to protect their secret, Edward and Bella returned to the table and apologized for their brief absence. Bella explained that she hadn't been feeling well, and after congratulating Alice and Jasper once more, she followed a Jonathan-clad Edward back out to their car and onward home.

They talked briefly in the car about the upcoming addition to the family, but Bella found herself becoming sullen and insulted by Edward's optimism.

"Maybe it'll be a girl," Edward said, hoping this would bring Bella some delight.

"I don't love Jonathan any less because he's not a girl, Edward," Bella said sourly.

"That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying you'll have a little girl. Doesn't every mother want a little girl?"

"What I want I already have: a happy, healthy beautiful baby boy, who I am about to rob of his formative infant years because I'm-"

"Bella, knock it off, alright? You're not robbing Jonathan of anything. He's going to be just as happy and well cared for as ever. And you're not alone. Our mothers will help us."

"Your mother is probably going to be spending most of her time with Alice."

"Fine. Your mother will help us. Okay?"

But Bella would not be cheered up. She remained in her shroud of guilt for hours, days, weeks and months. Even though her parents laughed, and then rejoiced at the news of their second grandchild, Bella's spirits were not elevated. In fact, the entire extended family, including Alice and Jasper, were very encouraging and supportive of the pregnancy, but that was of no avail to Bella. Despite false attempts at acceptance, tears were her constant companion. She cried when she had to wean Jonathan (though she didn't completely and still nursed him at night), when she moved back into maternity clothes, when her doctor suggested that she didn't carry Jonathan around quite so much and when a bout with swollen ankles required her to stay off her feet four hours a day, every day.

Resentment settled in as Bella watched her mother and Edward help a toddling Jonathan attempt his first steps. Jealousy, and then shame because of it, erupted whenever she watched her son clap his hands against his grandfather's cheeks and then giggle and chortle in delight as Charlie walked them around in the afternoon light.

"So, are you going to start setting up the baby's room or are you going to put the baby in with Jonathan-"

"No!" Bella snapped in answer to her mother's question. "Jonathan has already given up enough. I'm not going to make him give up his room, too."

"Well, then you probably want to start getting the baby's room ready," Renee suggested as she gestured at Bella's near-term belly.

Bella shook her head. "I'm just going to put a bassinet in our room."

"Do you have a bassinet?"

"No."

"Bella…"

"Mom, I only have a few hours during the day to spend with Jonathan. Then I have to stay off my feet. I'm not going to spend those hours in a store somewhere when I could be with my baby."

Renee looked as if she was going to argue for a moment, but then she thought better of it and simply stated, "We could order something online. I don't really know how to do it, but Esme said she shops online all the time. Maybe she could help us."

Bella shrugged with disinterest and was overjoyed when her mother didn't say another word about the subject.

Actually, her mother didn't say another word to _her_ about the subject, but Bella suspected that she did say something to both Charlie and Edward, because at different intervals throughout the next week they both made rather transparent efforts to spur her into action regarding a yet-unborn Baby Cullen.

"Jonathan's going to be overjoyed to meet his playmate. By the looks of it, it's coming up real soon," Charlie attempted.

Bella merely smoothed down the shirt she called her "tent" and nodded silently, but it was apparent that she was simply acknowledging the statement and not agreeing with what her father had to say.

Edward, more in tune with his wife's pregnancy hormones, was a little more subtle on the subject. One day when he found her on the couch, reading, he sat down next to her and nonchalantly played with his son, basking in the presence of his family and allowing Bella the opportunity to initiate conversation.

Her attention was consumed by the brochure she'd been reading for the Lady Comp natural family planning device that she'd been thinking had been defective.

"Edward, there's a list of the top ten things you're not supposed to do if you don't want to conceive, and we did every single one of them," she spoke up.

"Don't look at me," Edward said. "You told me you read the instructions."

"I did, but I never even saw this 'What Not to Do' section." Bella folded the paper as she looked over at Edward. "Not that I'm complaining. I couldn't be happier with the outcome," she said and smiled at her husband and son.

Taking note of her good mood, Edward slid in a few comments about the pregnancy. He talked about the things from their last trip to the maternity ward that he didn't want to repeat this time.

"I read that subsequent births happen faster each time, so at the first sign of a cramp we should probably get going to the hospital."

Bella's only response was to tickle Jonathan underneath his chin and she smiled when she elicited a giggle from him.

"Bella," Edward touched her arm to get her attention. "Don't shut me out."

"I'm not," Bella insisted.

"You are," Edward insisted right back.

"Edward," Bella hissed in a hushed tone. "I don't want to argue in front of the baby!"

Edward moved Jonathan out of Bella's reach, despite her protests.

"And why would there be an argument? Why can't I have a much-needed conversation with you about the impending birth of our _other_ baby without it turning into a heated discussion?"

Bella was indignant when Edward moved across the room to address her; her bed-ridden condition rendering her helpless to avoid him.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said, turning her eyes away from him.

"Well I _do_ want to talk about it. You're scaring me, Bella."

The earnestness in his voice got her attention then, and she moved her head to look at him. "Nothing's wrong, Edward."

"Yes, something is wrong. Something is _very_ wrong. And frankly, I'm terrified of how you're going to treat our next son or daughter just because he or she came unexpectedly. I'm not going to stand by and let you mistreat my child, Bella."

Bella's eyes immediately filled with tears. "How can you say that to me?" she spat out through clenched teeth. "I would _never_ mistreat a child!"

"You're doing it right now," Edward informed her.

"I am not. I am doing exactly what the doctor said. I'm staying off my feet for the length of time I was told to, I'm not nursing Jonathan, I don't hold him when I'm standing up…"

"But what about the preparations that you're _not_ making for the new baby? What about your refusal to pick names or get another car seat and double stroller? There are things we need to do, Bella, and time is running out."

Bella started to cry, then, talking through her tears as she did so. "I can't believe how insensitive you're being," she told her husband. "I have to stay off my feet four hours a day, change and feed Jonathan, make meals for you, try to keep the house clean, do laundry and spend quality time with you and the baby. And you want me to drive all over Washington looking for car seats and double strollers?"

"We'll hire a housekeeper and you can order online."

"I don't need a housekeeper and I don't feel comfortable buying baby gear sight unseen."

"You don't want to go see it, you don't want to buy it without seeing it…Bella, something's got to give, here. We need to make preparations, and maybe everything won't be as ideal as you want it to be, but this is our life now. We're going to have to do things that we don't want to do simply because our children need us to do them."

Bella again turned away from Edward, irritated that he was basically lecturing her and telling her to grow up.

On the surface, she told herself that he just didn't understand what she was going through, but deep down she knew the truth, which was that he _couldn't_ understand because she was too frightened to confide in him – and even to herself at times, what she was really feeling…what she was really _fearing._ But was it possible for a mother to have a baby that she didn't love?

Bella wasn't claiming not to love the child, but she had a strong fear that she couldn't or that she wouldn't be able to love him/her as much as she loved Jonathan. But she knew if she said those words out loud, she set in motion the possibility of them becoming true, so she buried them deep down within.

As each day passed and the due date of the baby inched closer, Bella acquiesced more and more responsibility to Edward, her mother and Esme, who were all lovingly trying to spur her into more outward displays of affection toward her unborn.

Even Alice tried to elicit more of an action from Bella in a roundabout way.

"Have you guys chosen a name yet?" Alice asked. "Wouldn't that be horrible if we chose the same name?"

Bella shrugged. "I can think of worse things happening."  
Alice shifted uncomfortably beside Bella and tried again. "What names are you thinking of?"

"Well, Edward has been kicking around a few. It's hard to become attached to any before we see the baby," Bella said, though this had not been the case during her first pregnancy. She had fallen in love with the name Jonathan, much like, it seemed, that Alice had fallen in love with a name.

"Oh, that is certainly not the case with me. I had my baby names almost as soon as I found out I was pregnant…before, even."

"That's great, Alice." Bella was distracted by a dull ache she'd been experiencing all afternoon.

Suddenly Alice grabbed her by the arm in a frenzy.

"Oh, Bella! You have to tell me what names you guys are thinking of. You _have _to. I just know you're going to pick the boy name I want and if I have to choose a different name I just don't know what I'll do. It'll be like my son is going through life with a second-best title, and I don't want that."

Bella laughed at Alice's melodrama. "You could have a girl, you know."

Alice turned and looked behind her before leaning over to confess her secret to her sister-in-law.

"I feel like such a fraud because Jasper and I said that we were going to do what you and Edward did, you know, not find out until the baby comes, but then at the ultrasound appointment the technician accidentally slipped and said that "_he_ was very active and it looked like _he_ was waving at _his_ mama."

"Well, I don't know. Sometimes they can be wrong…I think."

Alice was shaking her head in disagreement even before Bella was able to finish her sentence.

"No, it's a boy. I have the picture to prove it."

"Are you…okay with that?"

"Are you kidding? I just wanted a _baby_, Bella. Boy or girl doesn't matter. Though, now that I know it's a boy, I couldn't imagine it any other way." Then, remembering the catalyst for the conversation, Alice grasped Bella's arm vigorously. "We want to name him David, Bella. Tell me you aren't planning to name your baby David if it's a boy."

"No, that isn't one of our names. I think Andrew is the top contender for boy names," Bella said. Edward was whittling their list down every day, and David wasn't among the choices.

Alice breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought that since David was Jonathan's best friend in the Bible that you'd automatically pick it and I just _love_ that name."

"Nope, you're safe." Bella didn't have the heart to tell Alice that Edward actually hated the name David, but only because that was the name of a bully that used to terrorize him when he was a little boy.

"Bella?" Alice shifted her head and looked at the weary-looking woman to her right that preceded her in pregnancy by a few weeks. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, just tired," Bella said as she resituated herself once again in an effort to get comfortable. "Jonathan had a cold a few days ago and he wasn't sleeping well at night. Well, now he's fine but he's gotten used to being awake at two o'clock in the morning and he's keeping me up."

"You need your rest, Bella." Alice parroted back what her doctor had been telling her for the last few months.

"I know, but Edward has to be up when the market opens and since he's trying to get ready to take time off when the baby comes he hasn't been able to help as much during the day," Bella explained. "I can usually hang on until my mother gets here in the late mornings, but today was her day to shop and run errands."

"Well I can take care of Jonathan. You go rest," Alice offered.

"Alice, you should be resting, too," Bella smiled. "But in all honesty, I couldn't rest even if I wanted to. I haven't been able to get comfortable all day."

"I feel like all I've been doing is resting. Jasper won't let me do _anything_, which is kind of nice when he's at home with me, but when he stays at the vineyard training your dad, I get bored and lonely," Alice added. "You know how I hate to be alone."

Charlie had been working at the vineyard during an unusually busy season and Jasper was all too happy to act as trainer, but an extra set of hands wasn't all that Charlie was supplying, a fact that Bella wasn't sure Alice was aware of.

One night when Edward and Bella had had their parents over for dinner, Bella had overheard a conversation between Carlisle and her father in which they were discussing Jasper's continued employment at the vineyard.

"It can't be Emmett or Esme," Carlisle had said in a hushed tone. "It wouldn't work. Esme and I need to be his parents and Emmett needs to be his brother."

"No, I understand that. Well, whatever you need, you know I'll help out."

"Of course I'd pay you-"

"Now don't start all that."

"Charlie, it's a job and though I don't know how long the job will last, I'm not going to let you work for free."

Yet from what Bella heard, it was more than a job overseeing shipping and receiving for the vineyard – it was an accountability partner for Jasper. With Charlie there to keep an eye on things, Jasper would be less likely to be tempted to slip into old habits, even though he was working in a different capacity. Charlie's presence would also maintain the young man's dignity to not have his father, mother or brother peering over his shoulder.

"Well you're welcome to hang out here with me. I'm just going to start dinner," Bella said as she moved to maneuver off the couch.

Bella had been ignoring her slight aches and cramps of discomfort all afternoon, simply because she knew what contractions felt like and she was sure she wasn't having them. But as soon as she managed to get on her feet and stand upright, her water broke.

Alice, who had heard the patter of water against the hardwood floor, began to panic. Her voice elevated and her frantic movements frightened Jonathan, who had been sitting at Bella's feet. Edward came out of his office when he heard his son's incessant cries, only to find Bella trying to calm Alice down.

"Is Alice okay?" Edward asked as he scooped up Jonathan.

"S-she's having the baby," Alice pointed at Bella.

Bella shook her head at Edward. "My water broke, that's all. We have time."

But in this instance, Alice was correct.

Suddenly Bella began to feel several different sensations at once, and they all came quickly. Her abdomen hardened, but as soon as she recognized the contraction, a fierce pressure gripped her between her legs and she felt a sudden urge to push.

"Edward!" she called out. "We need to go now."

Alice grabbed Jonathan from Edward and went to the phone to call necessary family members. As she spoke rapidly to Carlisle, Bella's insistence, over and over, that something just didn't seem right was heard and Carlisle made the snap decision to rush straight to Edward and Bella's home instead of meeting them at the hospital. His instinct was providence because Edward and Bella never made it to the hospital that afternoon.

Much is to be said of the marvels of medicine and the sterility and safety of hospitals, but they need not be said in the case of Andrew Masen Cullen, who was delivered by his grandfather, Carlisle, safely at home, atop the sheet from his parents' bed on a cold and rainy September afternoon.

The fear and uncertainty that Bella had faced at the feat of having a home birth had aligned her goals with that of her unborn – to make it through. As soon as she held her son in her arms, the cloud of anxiety, resentment and ignorance that she'd been dwelling under melted away. She leaned down, kissed the top of her baby's head and wept – lamenting woeful apologies to him as she held him close to her bosom.

It was in this condition that Edward found them as he crept into the darkened bedroom bringing Jonathan to meet his new brother. He sat silently as he watched the display, knowing how desperately it needed to happen and when, two hours later, Bella offered Edward a similar apology, he readily accepted it, kissed her soundly and professed his steadfast love for her.

As Bella looked between her two sons, she wondered at how she ever felt threatened for their distinctiveness. Andrew seemingly came into the world with no other mission than to announce his individuality apart from bearing a birth date so near his brother's. It was as if he knew his mother's internal turmoil and therefore let her know immediately that she had nothing to worry about. She would be able to love them both, unconditionally and separately; their lives would bleed over, but not blend and blur together.

And of course, this was most definitely the case.

Where Jonathan was fair with ample, rosy cheeks and dark features, Andrew was lean and uncharacteristically chiseled for a baby. His hair and eyes mirrored those of his father, but his temperament was entirely unique.

Quirky was how the entire Cullen clan would grow to describe Andrew, for unlike all of the other grandchildren, he had an almost endless set of preferences that he insisted upon living by. For example, he preferred the bottle to being breastfed, and after a tireless struggle to get him to nurse, Bella admitted defeat and let him have the bottle. He liked to move his head around and watch his surroundings while he was eating, something he couldn't do while attached to his mother.

He also had a strange fascination with his left foot. Whenever he was dressed in anything that covered his feet, he would find a way to get his left foot uncovered. This trend went on well past Andrew's second birthday, but by then there were so many things about him that were "just Andrew" as his family grew accustomed to saying, that they hardly noticed anymore.

One thing that people – everyone – did notice, however, was Andrew's beauty. It was strange and almost other-worldly and save for the ever present scowl on his face, he wouldn't have even looked real to onlookers.

Jonathan, by contrast, was cherubic in his looks, very quiet, dutiful and mechanical. He'd spend hours with his Grandpa Charlie by the pond fishing, feeding the swans and the ducks that had joined them or sitting in the kitchen with Nana Esme eating the dough as she made chocolate chip cookies. He preferred the company of adults, though he got along well with his older cousins.

Jonathan was extremely protective of his younger brother and they played well together until Andrew would cross the line or irritate his brother with his rash behavior and fiery temper. The two boys policed themselves well, but every so often Edward would have to step in and be the disciplinarian, a job that proved harder than he'd ever expected.

"I can't spank Jonathan," he confessed to his wife one night when they were alone in their bedroom. "His eyes…it's like his heart is broken over the fact that whatever he's done has come to being spanked."

"Maybe he doesn't need to be spanked," Bella said. She knew exactly what her husband spoke of, though admittedly she felt unable to spank either of her children.

Yet there was no argument that Andrew definitely benefited from the few spankings he'd received; nothing else seemed to work with that child.

"That one is going to turn your hair gray," Charlie always said of Andrew when he'd return the boys to their parents after a few hours together.

But aside from the difficulties, Andrew kept his parents laughing with his quick wit and the interesting way he saw the world around him. And despite the meaning of his name, David was quite attached to Andrew and the two cousins would spend hours together running around in their grandparents' back yard, racing up and down stairs and tormenting their female cousins the best way they knew how.

Edward and Bella took well to parenthood and enjoyed their children immensely, but they recognized the hard work and limitations involved. As the children grew older, Edward felt guilty about requiring the boys to tiptoe around their own home so he decided to move his business out of the house once again. It just wasn't prudent to attempt to conduct a professional operation around so much commotion.

However, the house did quiet down a bit when Bella began preparing her children to be homeschooled when they showed the aptitude and ability for learning. The upstairs "classroom" was turned into the boys' very own laboratory of life as their mother enriched their father's teachings of the Cannabean Way and allowed them to foster ideas, grow and experience anything their minds could cook up.

It was a happy time for the Cullens and Edward and Bella, who'd become very adept users of the LadyComp device, didn't feel the stirrings of baby hunger until Andrew was three years old.

And shortly thereafter, Rachel Marie Cullen was born.

She was her mother's shadow and her father's princess and a welcome reprieve from the tornado of testosterone that were her brothers.

"You know what?" Edward began as he and Bella stood on their back deck one late summer afternoon and watched Rachel try to keep up with her brothers as they kicked a ball around in the back yard.

"What?" Bella could tell he was about to be sentimental from the tone in his voice and she moved closer and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Levi Turnage had the nerve to say that maybe his son and Rachel will be betrothed one day. Can you believe that?"

Bella laughed at Edward's indignation. "I'm sure he was only joking, honey."

"I don't like the fact that he even had that thought. She's just a baby," he said of their three-year-old, brown haired, green-eyed beauty.

"He didn't mean anything by it. And besides, didn't you once say that Andrew and Lucy McGivney would make a good match?"

"I only meant that her personality could handle his. I didn't mean anything romantic by it and I certainly wouldn't go tell Tom McGivney about it."

Edward looked down and gave his wife that corkscrew grin she loved so much as he recognized his hypocrisy.

"That's my baby girl," he said, "and I don't want to think about some guy swooping in… and what kind of name is Turnage anyway?" Edward harrumphed.

Bella giggled.

"What's funny?" Edward asked.

"Nothing. I just remember hearing my dad say things like that when I was little. I never thought he was going to let me get married," Bella explained as she looked up to smile at her husband.

"Well I'll lead the processional of every Cullen who is very…very…very happy he did." Edward punctuated each 'very' with a kiss for his sweet wife.

They broke their caress and leaned into each other as they watched the carefree antics of their children playing in the grass. In unison, a sigh escaped them both, each of them resting in the moment and reveling in its gift of peace. For as they stood together and saw the embodiment of their love, they felt strength being cultivated and a foundation being built for the days in which all they would have would be love to get them through.

And just like now, it would be enough.


	38. Epilogue

**The Cannabean Betrothal. **

**Epilogue.**

* * *

It was a wonderful surprise.

At his age, there wasn't much that excited Carlisle Cullen outside of his wife, his children and their families and he was so thankful that they all knew him well enough to know exactly how he'd want to celebrate his birthday/retirement: with all of them.

The well wishes and gifts were sweet, but in a deft maneuver, Carlisle was able to get away from all the fussing over him and in a rare moment of solitude, he slipped over to his favorite tree and lovingly watched his legacy interact.

His glance fell to his wife; the beautiful woman who had captured his heart so many years ago and still gripped it so tightly to that very day. She was his everything and as he advanced in age, the most comforting thought he had was of how well they'd reared their children and how his sons' love and voracious desire to care for their mother was nearly as strong as their father's love for her.

In each of his sons Carlisle saw the traits that would collectively keep their mother whole should he and his bride be parted through death.

As he thought of them, Carlisle scanned the landscape to put his eyes where his mind lay. In the far distance, he saw Emmett, teaching the boys how to play croquet and warning them against using the mallets on anything other than the balls on the ground.

In Emmett, there would never cease to be security and safety – a fortitude of sanctuary from anyone or anything that could ever cause harm to his loved ones. His selflessness in that area had been proven time and time again throughout the years. For the love, ease and comfort of his parents, he'd made no commotion about the feud between his brothers that nearly tore his family in two. Regardless of the turmoil suffered at that time, in Emmett's presence there was always rest and refuge and peace.

Across the lawn, Carlisle spied Jasper and chuckled quietly to himself as he watched his middle son and his wife juggle their thirteen-month old son. They were very devoted parents, but Carlisle made a mental note to mention later that if they never put Judah down, he would never learn to walk.

But in essence, that was just who Jasper was. He needed, and his heart was to _be_ needed like every mother with an empty nest could attest to. Carlisle knew that as long as Jasper had air to breathe, he would need his mother as she needed him to and he would give her that purpose for the rest of her days.

And then there was Edward.

Carlisle's eyes roved the land in search of his youngest son, before finally finding him just a few feet away, sitting beside his wife on the large log swing that the grandchildren had abandoned only minutes before. He smiled to himself as Edward held out a plate of grapes and berries for his wife, now pregnant with their fourth child, and watched as she accepted it with a quiet gratitude.

Only in his mind did Carlisle allow the thought that Edward held a special place in his heart. He was an against-the-odds type of individual and Carlisle felt and shared in every one of Edward's successes as if they were his very own. His scholastic excellence, athletic triumphs, business endeavors – and perhaps the one that was the most difficult and endearing of them all: his lovely wife.

Carlisle knew without a shadow of a doubt that anything Edward set his mind to, he could attain; for that was his gift: acquisition and provision. And with Edward, Esme would suffer no want, no need and no provision that Edward couldn't attain for her and without burden.

With a deep breath, Carlisle straightened up and prepared to join the party, _his_ party, once more. Of course his reveries were premature, as he knew he had quite a few years left in him yet. But still, he took comfort in his introspections regarding his family and when he looked back at the deck and saw Charlie Swan, a man who had become one of the best friends he'd ever had in his life, looking at Bella and Edward with that same restful look in his eye, he knew he wasn't alone in being reassured by the presence and love of his progeny – of his family.

**THE END**


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